Ask me anything about fending off wild animals.

[Evil Commie]

Roger:

My sister brought home Cthulhu one day and my parents are letting her keep It as a pet. Cthulhu now resides in my closet and stares at me at night. Help.

You could close the door.

[bob-o]

i was hunting a big, giant moose... i have lost all my arrows, except one. i shoot the moose- but it hits him in the backsides- so he is woulded and angry. my crossbow would do nothing against the big head and antlers of the moose, and it can easily outrun me. we're in a forest.i have nothing except a useless crossbbow, and my clothes. he's heading right for me. he wants to beat me, slowly, so i die in slow agony... help!!!

~bob-o

[~~~~Closed~~~~]

i was hunting a big, giant moose... i have lost all my arrows, except one. i shoot the moose- but it hits him in the backsides- so he is woulded and angry. my crossbow would do nothing against the big head and antlers of the moose, and it can easily outrun me. we're in a forest.i have nothing except a useless crossbbow, and my clothes. he's heading right for me. he wants to beat me, slowly, so i die in slow agony... help!!!

~bob-o

your out of luck pal, roger wont be back for 2 weeks.

[Zorga, Oracle of Rum]

Zorga does not fend off wild animals.
They fend her off.

[bob-o]

i was hunting a big, giant moose... i have lost all my arrows, except one. i shoot the moose- but it hits him in the backsides- so he is woulded and angry. my crossbow would do nothing against the big head and antlers of the moose, and it can easily outrun me. we're in a forest.i have nothing except a useless crossbbow, and my clothes. he's heading right for me. he wants to beat me, slowly, so i die in slow agony... help!!!

~bob-o

your out of luck pal, roger wont be back for 2 weeks.

yea, i know, so i've put a timestop here, so it's all frozen for a 50-foot radius. when i deactivate the timestop, i will appear just as i was- so even if i got a machinegun, and restarted time, i would just have the same stuff i have...

~bob-o

[fluffy]

::sneaks in and pulls the plug on the time stop machine::

tee hee hee

::sabatoges the battery backup just for insurance::

[MedeoPlusPlus]

Roger:

My sister brought home Cthulhu one day and my parents are letting her keep It as a pet. Cthulhu now resides in my closet and stares at me at night. Help.

You could close the door.

I don't think too many closet doors have stopped Cthulhu in the past...

[Colonel Failure]

Roger:

My sister brought home Cthulhu one day and my parents are letting her keep It as a pet. Cthulhu now resides in my closet and stares at me at night. Help.

You could close the door.

I don't think too many closet doors have stopped Cthulhu in the past...

They would if you put an Elder Sign on it...

[MedeoPlusPlus]

Roger:

My sister brought home Cthulhu one day and my parents are letting her keep It as a pet. Cthulhu now resides in my closet and stares at me at night. Help.

You could close the door.

I don't think too many closet doors have stopped Cthulhu in the past...

They would if you put an Elder Sign on it...

You know where I can buy one of those?

[Colonel Failure]

Roger:

My sister brought home Cthulhu one day and my parents are letting her keep It as a pet. Cthulhu now resides in my closet and stares at me at night. Help.

You could close the door.

I don't think too many closet doors have stopped Cthulhu in the past...

They would if you put an Elder Sign on it...

You know where I can buy one of those?

I got mine at a $1 store going out of business sale (everything was 99 cents), and I'm using it to keep Tsuggotha from oozing out of my guest room... Not sure where else you could look...

Do you have an ancient-looking chinaman with a long grey-white beard who hangs around outdoor cafes? I got one here locally, but he only sells chinese puzzle boxes...

[Malaul]

OHH!!! ask him if he knows how to open the one I ahve

when I try
it gives out blue sparks and I can hear thing moving in the walls behind me

[The Good Reverend Roger]

i was hunting a big, giant moose... i have lost all my arrows, except one. i shoot the moose- but it hits him in the backsides- so he is woulded and angry. my crossbow would do nothing against the big head and antlers of the moose, and it can easily outrun me. we're in a forest.i have nothing except a useless crossbbow, and my clothes. he's heading right for me. he wants to beat me, slowly, so i die in slow agony... help!!!

~bob-o

Um, you DID, of course, follow the Good Reverend's previous advice (re:  duct-taping razor sharp tomohawks to each hand), right?

There should be no problem.

But only beat on him if you must because, gosh darn it, I just love Mooses.

[Rupert Giles]

Roger, I find myself in a life-endangered predicament that I hope you can help me with.  In short...



I've used up all my hatchets, I'm running low on Illuminite, My flashlight is starting to flicker.

I've managed to activate Flood Control Dam #3, I know the Days of the Week, and I have a small dagger and a bit of twine.

HELP.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Roger, I find myself in a life-endangered predicament that I hope you can help me with.  In short...



I've used up all my hatchets, I'm running low on Illuminite, My flashlight is starting to flicker.

I've managed to activate Flood Control Dam #3, I know the Days of the Week, and I have a small dagger and a bit of twine.

HELP.

1.  Lash dagger to your right hand with twine.

2.  Cover eyes with left hand when flashlight runs out.

3.  Swing left arm around wildly, while screaming like a little girl.

Alternatively, you could just light the extra matches that you used to light the candle in the crystal skull room, and head for the chimney.

[Rupert Giles]

The wizard of Frobozz confiscated those matches.

My flashlight has gone out.

I can hear something in the darkness...

...

Is that you, Sarge?