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Topics - Doktor Howl

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« on: April 02, 2020, 04:09:41 am »

Apple Talk / Pango
« on: March 30, 2020, 11:35:49 pm »
Please tell the folks in your fiance's chat that I am fine, and thanks for asking.

Apple Talk / Plague Diary
« on: March 23, 2020, 07:17:36 pm »

If I hear one more person bitch about how "entitled" millenials and Gen Z are and how easy they have it one more time, I am going to have someone's spleen for a tennis ball.  So far, they have lived in post-911 America, had the recession shit on them, no recognizable career path, school shootings every 10 fucking minutes, and now the pandemic.  I feel perfectly comfortable saying that my generation, gen X, had it far easier than these kids do.  The worst we had to deal with was boredom and shitty weed.

Also, the drive to work this morning was spooky as fuck.  Normally, interstate 10 is packed at 6:00 AM.  Today it was me and half a dozen trucks.  That's it.  I had a lot of ideas of how the world would end, but I never expected an apocalypse based on the common cold's ugly big brother.  On the other hand, I am absolutely unsurprised that attorney general Barr wants to "suspend" constitutional rights in this crisis and in future events.  Which means that "crisis" will be redefined as hilariously as "terrorism" was.

We're sending everyone who can work from home to work from home, and I gotta ask:  Why not leave it that way?  This is the 21st century.  We have Skype.  Why pay for office space? 

More later.

Apple Talk / The Time Traveler's Apology
« on: March 18, 2020, 05:30:40 pm »
I'm so sorry honey, I forgot our -50th anniversary, I will make it up to you in universe number 1304. 

Perhaps dinner overlooking the hubbub of the Parthenon, and maybe a stroll through the ruins of DC?

I could just go back and do it properly, but we'd both know that's cheating.  Well, I'd know. 

Anyway, I am/will be/was sorry.  Potentially.  We'll have to wait for the wave to collapse to be sure.

Your determined indeterminate.

Aneristic Illusions / Look at the stock market
« on: March 11, 2020, 05:13:58 pm »
Put some diapers on first, though.   :lulz:

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Letters to Myself
« on: February 27, 2020, 03:02:30 pm »
Dear Doktor Howl,

Stop placing value on people who do not value you.  This is distracting you from:

1.  Giving enough attention to people who DO value you, and
2.  The destruction of all life on Earth.

This is important, even if the lack of expressed value is casual or unthinking, rather than actively hostile.  Not because you're pissed, but just because they don't value you.  I mean, you can still be pissed, but you know what I mean.  Maybe try some affirmations:

"I'm bad enough, I'm sexy enough, and gosh darn it, ALL HUMANS MUST BE KILLED.

"Every day in every way, I will optimize my own personal demise.  I might not be the best human being that ever lived, but I will not go out face down in a pile of poop."

"Every cough, every tickle at the back of my throat could be coronavirus, and maybe I should attend Trump rallies, because SHARING is CARING."

 If affirmations don't work, of course, there is always "laughing at the misfortunes of others" and "Schadenfreude isn't just a river in Germany" and ALSO "I am not a Christian, so I don't have to love my enemies.  In fact, I am supposed to burn their city down and end civilization for 1000 years.  It's kind of right there in the book."

Remember when you thought chaos was something happy?  Pepperidge Farms remembers.

Okay for now,

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / FAILURE
« on: February 23, 2020, 05:35:24 am »
This is going to be choppy.  Just a few lines at a time.  Doing it here to organize my thoughts, so forgive the stream of consciousness thing.

1.  Failure is easy.  It is just the absence of success.  True disaster is an art form.

2.  You don't learn from success.

3.  Compare the dems and GOP to the green & blue factions from the Hippodrome.  Same exact phenomena, seems to be as unstoppable as the tides.

4.  Failure is always an option inevitable, given enough time.  Enough iterations of anything lead to the collapse of any system.  This is particularly true in systems that feed back into themselves (IE, the Hippodrome hooligans, American politics, etc).

5.  Heard this the other day:  "Tradition is just peer pressure from dead people."  Tradition is the boundary of safe success, but itself becomes a millstone around your neck as conditions change.

More later.

Apple Talk / A letter to the morally pure
« on: February 07, 2020, 04:01:32 pm »
Dear Savior,

You're sitting there bitching about some son of a bitch who fucked up someone's pronouns or might have fucked up someone's pronouns.  Nobody complained but you worry that they are too intimidated to complain and it's your fucking job to call that shit out.  Your vocation.  Jerks ain't gonna act right, you're gonna save the day by slapping them down.  Bastards won't put content warning/trigger warnings on top of the post, you're gonna see to that...Even if the warning itself is basically as triggering as the content, that's not the important bit.  The important bit is...

...Your validation.

Let's just face facts:  In a world in which you have no agency, being a self-appointed tone cop looks pretty damn good, right?  You can transfer all of your rage at your asshole boss, your shitty living conditions, your lack of opportunity, yes you can transfer them all right onto that fucker over there and at the same time be on the side of the angels.  But I gotta say...

...I see you.

I mean, it's understandable.  You want some control over your environment.  All humans do.  That is in fact what politics is.  But as an old slave-trading religious bigot once said, "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."  You employ the injustice of the world as a hammer to get the other primates to react to you to get that control, and the reaction is that they hate you.  And eventually they hate your message.  I am not talking about the proudboys and 4Chan freaks and MRA/Incel dweebs here, I am talking about people that want to be on your side.  People for whom you have coined a term to prevent them from getting into the little tent of your politics...

...Cookie seekers.

Aka "point whores," aka "YT saviors (ironically enough almost always said by YT saviors)".  One of a grab-bag of derisive terms used to ensure that YOU are the lone voice in the wilderness, decrying the injustices of the world, regardless of the cost.  Regardless of what the original subject was.

An example would be 365 Portland.  This is an organization started to bring attention to climate change.  One of the prominent old-school Subgenius guys, Huey, was asked by them to do a poster art (gratis, of course) advertisement for an upcoming event.  Huey was happy to help, and he drew up one that REALLY conveyed urgency.  It involved a picture of a young lady holding a sign that read "Wake up, the house is on fire!" or something similar.  The person who had requested the art rejected the piece with the explanation "It conveys too much urgency, which might exclude members of marginalized populations."

No shit, that's what she said.  As if somehow the marginalized populations won't suffer first as climate change progresses.  To top it all off, the lady in the pic was either Hispanic or Native American in the first Goddamn place.  But that didn't matter, because the committee member dealing with Huey delivered her actual message, even if it was at the expense of both the climate change effort AND the people she had fetishized.  And make no mistake, that's precisely what it was.

When I saw screencaps of the exchange, I was horrified to realize that I wasn't horrified.  I had expected EXACTLY that result, because in a time of ecological disaster and rising fascism, the hip and obviously correct thing to do is address everything EXCEPT the disasters and the fascism.  To show just how fucking pure you are.  To validate yourself.  To maximize your potential as a Goddamn vulture that lives on the pain of others, and must, in a not-so-subtle manner, perpetuate that misery to gain more of that sweet, sweet validation.

So when you work yourself into a righteous froth about those sons of bitches, just keep in mind that YOU are one of those sons of bitches.

Yours truly,
Ferdinand Marcos

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