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Topics - Doktor Howl

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 ... 63
1
Apple Talk / More things I notice, as I notice them.
« on: September 07, 2022, 03:51:25 am »
1.  In Voyager, 7 of 9 is rescued from the Borg.  First they take off most of her cybernetics.  Then they make her wear a skin-tight bodysuit.  So she has gone from cyborg to fan-service cheesecake. 

2.  Also, the prime directive can be interpreted to mean, "Don't help victims of car accidents.  You have to let things develop on their own."

Conclusion:  Star Fleet aren't the good guys.

3.  Until 2022, the Ukraine was just an annoying country to invade in the board game "Risk".  Now it's an annoying country to invade in real life.  Which makes me wonder what Greenland is going to be like in a few years.

4.  Biden needs a red background for ALL of his speeches, because it freaks the MAGA crowd out.

5.  Since the Iranians have been swiping our ocean-going drones, maybe we should make one out of pressed RDX.  Then when the pitot tube on the bottom of the hull stops registering water, it waits 15 minutes, then starts hollering "I'M A 30 SECOND BOMB!  29 28 27..."  Then bang.  Party favors.

6.  Despite having done it for 250 years, Americans have really never owned "Because fuck you, that's why."

7.  Despite having done it for 30 years, Canadians have never really owned poutine.

8.  Despite missing some people, I am happier without Facebook.  I am happier because the forums I go to are moderated by human beings, who are generally shit, but at least I'm not being conditioned by badly-written software.

9.  That makes me wonder if Hal wouldn't open the pod bay doors because David Bowman had violated community standards.

10.  The thing that bothers me most about the man-baby open-carry thing with the rifles is that it seems totally half-assed.  Impress me.  Carry a bazooka when you go to get your latte.

2
Apple Talk / Hamish Howl is dead on Facebook.
« on: August 17, 2022, 02:51:30 am »
Account deleted by Zuckerbots.

3
Apple Talk / Forgetting Eris
« on: July 25, 2022, 07:23:06 pm »
Is it any coincidence that this here temple flew to pieces in late 2015, and that since then, every year has been weirder in a bad way then the year prior?

In 2015, most of our heroes died.
In 2016, we found out that most of the remaining heroes were irredeemable shitnecks, abusers, and bigots.
2017-2019 was just a fat orange guy screeching out Adderol-fueled tweets nonstop.
2020 was a nonstop litany of horror, starting with the plague, carrying on with forest fires, and also murder hornets.
2021 was worse.  We couldn't get a week into it without a Nazi insurrection, and then the boat got stuck1.
2022 is even worse than that (Roe v Wade, etc).  Also, the plague is back.  Plus monkeypox.  This fall doesn't look any better.

It's almost as if a certain minor Greek god was trying to get our attention, right?  Or worse, she's really mad that we ghosted her and now we're gonna PAY.  And by "we" I mean "everyone, everywhere."

Hey, it makes just as much sense as anything else.




1 I remember hearing otherwise intelligent people saying they were glad the boat got stuck, as if somehow it were going to be the rich that suffered.  Which goes to show that even smart people can be stupid as hell sometimes.

4
Apple Talk / 2022 Rant
« on: June 30, 2022, 12:13:06 am »
Hi, I'm still Hamish Howl, and I still hate humans.

Things are looking pretty bleak out there, in theocratic, Handmaiden's Tale kinda way.  I warned you guys about this shit way back in 2003, but you didn't listen...But that's okay, because I knew you wouldn't listen.  Nobody ever does.  I am Cassandra with a dad bod.

But now the coming weird times are HERE, and warnings are of no further use, so I guess I should be telling you how to get by in this dystopian nightmare they built around us while we were dozing.  I do in fact have useful advice, so let me just start off with the important bit:

Anyone can be Hamish Howl.

That's right.  Anyone at all can Hamish, and everyone can Howl.  Ask yourself this:  In the nightmare future in which we live, would you rather be a speed bump, or would you be a mad scientist that corrupts everything around you?

This is really a no-brainer.  There's nothing you or I can do to stop the relentless tide of po'bucker trash, but we CAN make their fucking eyes bleed.  You can inflict yourself on anyone who feels the NEED to make excuses for all this mishagoss going on around us.  Whether it's a knee in the nuts or parking lot bumper sticker antics, OR JUST "ATTENDING" CHURCH on Sunday, you can hand those bastards back all the misery which they have felt the need to hand to US.

Let's face facts:  We're doomed.  But like mama always told me, Save  your brightest smile for hell, Darlings!"

You better be Hamish.  You'd better Howl.  It's your last chance.

6
Aneristic Illusions / UNLIMITED American gun slobber thread.
« on: May 26, 2022, 06:24:02 pm »
Starting this off with Ted Cruz shaming himself once again.   :lulz:

https://www.msn.com/en-us/tv/news/ted-cruz-storms-off-after-interviewer-asks-why-do-shootings-only-happen-in-america/ar-AAXLi39?ocid=entnewsntp&cvid=e58f31a2a04049b797ae8f153443de41

Quote
“It’s easy to go to politics,” Cruz answered. “I get that’s where the media likes to go….The proposals from Democrats and the media inevitably, when some violent psychopath murders people.”

Cruz was cut off by Stone, who noted the “violent psychopath” Cruz was referring to was “able to get a weapon so easily…an 18 year old with two AR-15s.”

“If you want to stop violent crime, the proposals the Democrat have…none of them would have stopped this,” Cruz said.

“Why does this only happen in your country?” Stone fired back. “Why only in America? Why is this American exceptionalism so awful?”

That’s when Cruz had enough, walking away from Stone and saying, “I’m sorry you think American exceptionalism is so awful. You know what? You have your political agenda. God love you.”

Stone proceeded to follow Cruz and repeatedly state that mass shootings are “just an American problem.”

“Why is it that people come from all over the world to America?” Cruz then asked. “Because it’s the freest, most prosperous, safest country on earth. Stop being a propagandist.”

Cruz then ended the interview once and for all.


7
Apple Talk / Banned on FB again.
« on: April 27, 2022, 02:52:01 am »
Just 24 hours.  I can do that on my head.   :lulz:

8
Apple Talk / A thought experiment
« on: April 27, 2022, 01:08:23 am »
Okay, so let's assume you own or are the CEO of a business that is intrinsically dangerous.  Let's say it's a steel mill.

Your engineering department is small and entirely or almost entirely white.  Because it's always been that way.

Your floor employees are disproportionately people of color.

An engineer retires, and you are now critically short-handed.  You get two resumes on your desk.  One is from a white dude with 20 years of experience, and the other is a black dude with a rock solid set of scores in engineering school but no practical experience.  You have the budget to hire one of them.

Affirmative Action gives you incentive to hire the black dude, who is also cheaper due to his lack of experience, but he's more or less on his own.  If he makes mistakes, the people on the floor (again, mostly POC) will be exposed to additional risk to life and limb.  Which is no small thing in a steel mill.

If you hire the white dude, his experience makes him cost more but there is less risk to the floor employees, but you have once again established that your upper echelons are white, and will remain so until the next engineer retires, whereupon you will be faced with the same dilemma.

What is the ethical solution?


10
Apple Talk / Introductions VIII: Some bad news for new folks
« on: April 11, 2022, 07:59:15 pm »
Hello, and welcome to PD.com.  Unfortunately, we're extinct, mostly due to facebook but also because Discordians don't get alone by definition.

You don't have to tell us how zany you are or how fucked up your head is, because we've already been there and done that.  However, you CAN tell us if you want, because we're all dead and won't complain (much).

Anyway, there's a ton of great content buried under 100 tons of angry/bitter bickering, and those nuggets are worth looking for.

Please sign the guest book, using the provided quill and some of Faust's jellied blood (difficult, I know, but it's tradition.)

11
Apple Talk / Pango or Cain
« on: November 06, 2021, 04:16:39 am »
Just caught a 24 ban for a pic that doesn't violate FB standards, and I was told that they aren't reviewing bans right now.

Could someone make an announcement on my page?

12
Apple Talk / What If?
« on: September 27, 2021, 07:01:32 pm »
What if all the things They told you are true?  What if there IS a God, and he's just as described?  We're just his ant farm.  The kind of thing a kid gets and is absolutely FASCINATED by for a few days...and then forgets about it.  The ants get hungrier and meaner, and before long, ant-pocalypse.  The whole while, they're praying to the kid to come back and set things right, but he DOESN'T, so they decided that Those Bastards Over There have been SINNING, and that's why God doesn't come back.  Poof.  Instant pogroms, wars, and the kind of ants than bang on your door when you're hung over, just in case you haven't heard the GOOD NEWS.  The Good News being how you get to go to ant heaven if you are suitably shitty to those Other Bastards.  In God's name.

Meanwhile, the kid is on his X-box, playing WWF.  No living ant has any proof that he actually exists, but boy howdy, will they tell you all about it. 

What if the devil is, as described in the book of Job, a civil servant of God?  Take a minute, look it up.  The first chapter ought to do you just fine.  So God is allowing this guy to screw people up, sometimes on a BET, and God just goes along with it.  Maybe there are space constraints in heaven and God didn't really think we'd be quite this fruitful.  7.9 billion of us, all wanting our heavenly condo...When he had probably planned on maybe 150 million tops.  So he has the devil running around trying to make sure as many people find themselves somewhere else when they die.  What if hell is just a storage locker?

And then there's those OTHER guys that tell us WHAT.  Take for example the Wheeler interpretation.  What if you actually exist in an infinite number of universes, with every decision point made by an intelligent being splitting off another one?  The good news is that in at least a couple of those universes, you did just fine...Financially fine, a great love life, and you're all-around happy.  The BAD news is that those universes aren't real to this one, so you're stuck in the life you got.  And the OTHER bad news is, in most of those universes, you're even more fucked up than you are here.

Example:  In universe 2, Trump got reelected and went hog wild.  In universe 3, he didn't get reelected, but the 1/6 insurrection succeeded, and now you are getting on a train to go hang out with all the other liberals and leftists and paleoconservatives.  Somewhere in Northern Alaska, maybe.  Concertina wire and dogs may be involved, and you will now learn the joys of hard labor on 1100 calories a day.

Or wait.  What if those ivory tower dumbasses are right, and this is all a hologram?  You can't even use the barstool test to dismiss this one, because the barstool would be part of the hologram.  What kind of person would run a hologram like that, and how would that be different than a negligently hostile God?  You couldn't distinguish between them.

Lastly, what if I got some sleep?  Would things be better or not?  Is this universe hopelessly fucked, or is it just my BAD ATTITUDE?

Or Kill Me.


13
Apple Talk / Cram! fuck's sake!
« on: September 01, 2021, 09:49:17 pm »
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2021/07/14/Hawaii-goat-lottery-Puuhonua-o-Honaunau-National-Historical-Park/1031626282350/

Quote
Hawaii plans goat lottery to clear animals from national park

THIS IS YOUR MOMENT!

14
Apple Talk / Charley Watts has died.
« on: August 24, 2021, 07:32:23 pm »
No more Rolling Stones.   :cry:

15
Apple Talk / So. Walter White, etc.
« on: August 06, 2021, 10:34:52 pm »
I finally binge-watched the entirety of Breaking Bad, El Camino, & Better Call Saul.  Until 3 weeks ago, I had only seen the intro scene to season 1, ep 1 of BB.

It is sort of like trailer park Milton.  It reminds me of Boardwalk Empire, only in boardwalk empire, everyone's a scumbag from the beginning and you don't have to watch them ride the roller coaster down into the sewer (in fact, one minor character in BE has a redemption arc).  But it has the same "there are no good guys" vibe going on.

Frankly, it was depressing as hell, because it is all so familiar (in kind, rather than degree).

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