(http://rlv.zcache.com/wisdom_cat_business_calling_card_business_card-p2402170309008580674j5c_400.jpg)
For I know the answers to all questions.
Anal?
How many cats does it take to change a lightbulb?
Quote from: FP on February 13, 2010, 06:14:22 AM
How many cats does it take to change a lightbulb?
one cat to change the lightbulb, one computer nerd to glue a caption to said cat.
Quote from: Horrendous Foreign Love Stoat on February 13, 2010, 06:16:40 AM
what looks cooler. chest mounted or held out in hand?
always chest mounted.
Quote from: Horrendous Foreign Love Stoat on February 13, 2010, 06:25:36 AM
sweet. the relevance of this ominous question will be revealed on feb 15th to avoid spoiling any surprises. muhahaha
cheers SPS!
PICS PLZ
How many lawyers does it take to screw a lightbulb?
Quote from: Lysergic on February 13, 2010, 06:38:23 AM
How many lawyers does it take to screw a lightbulb?
It depends upon who they are screwing.
On that note, how many bulbs does it take to screw a lawyer?
Hrmmm...
Why do bad things happen to good people?
Aaaand, let me see here...
Anal?
When did this board become 4chan?
How is a raven like a writing desk?
Also, why not?
Should I have more death coffee tonight, or leave off for a week?
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 13, 2010, 06:28:28 PM
Should I have more death coffee tonight, or leave off for a week?
I'm not sure what death coffee is, but, for some reason, I want some...
I can't have death coffee because it would kill me. :(
should i start an "ask me anything" thread?
Quote from: Lysergic on February 13, 2010, 07:12:45 AM
On that note, how many bulbs does it take to screw a lawyer?
Cannot be done as lawyers have iron-clad anuses.
Quote from: dimo on February 13, 2010, 04:45:26 PM
Hrmmm...
Why do bad things happen to good people?
Aaaand, let me see here...
Anal?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Anddddd, maybe for you.
Quote from: FP on February 13, 2010, 04:48:30 PM
When did this board become 4chan?
When....YO MAMMA!
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 13, 2010, 05:55:25 PM
How is a raven like a writing desk?
Also, why not?
Ask a less retarded question.
Also, because I said so.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 13, 2010, 06:28:28 PM
Should I have more death coffee tonight, or leave off for a week?
GRABBIN PILLZ
Quote from: rong on February 13, 2010, 09:38:49 PM
should i start an "ask me anything" thread?
Nobody likes a copy cat.
Could Goddess make a burrito so greasy even SHE got gas from it?
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 14, 2010, 03:20:21 AM
Could Goddess make a burrito so greasy even SHE got gas from it?
And then we all realized what REALLY happened to poor Hiroshima...
:cry:
When is too much not enough?
How many roads must a man walk down?
should i move 1,235 miles away from home in a couple months?
but see, im afraid than when the time comes for me to actually go i MIGHT be in a relationship with a person that from what i can sense so far, MIGHT not be down for that kind of adventure...
what the fuck would i do in that case?
uhm...
i know im jumping the gun here... but maybe you can help.
Quote from: nuclearcabbage on February 14, 2010, 04:25:30 AM
should i move 1,235 miles away from home in a couple months?
but see, im afraid than when the time comes for me to actually go i MIGHT be in a relationship with a person that from what i can sense so far, MIGHT not be down for that kind of adventure...
what the fuck would i do in that case?
uhm...
i know im jumping the gun here... but maybe you can help.
It's only for a couple months. Which would be annoyingly sucky for a relationship, it's not like it's a long term long distance relationship. I'd advise against that. But seeing as how it's temporary, go for it. Or put the relationship on hold till you get back. Or skype sexxor each other nonstop during those couple months.
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 13, 2010, 05:55:25 PM
How is a raven like a writing desk?
Ohhhhh, that one's easy.
im not sure if the move would be temporary or not..
if this happened it would be with mostly all of my closest friends..and we all want out of the butt fuck city we live in so...
if most of my friends left and i decided stayed i would be sad...
but happy because at least im with her.
if i decided to go and she decided the opposite, i would be crushed...
im not one to impose on others, i wouldnt fight it.
i guess theres not much to contemplate at this point really...
then I ask you. What do youuuu want to do? Do you see enough future with this girl to stay for her if she decides to leave? or do you think you'd regret it if you either stayed/broke up with her, or left her?
1. i want to move to portland.
2. do i see enough future...to stay for her...if SHE decides to leave?
3. i think i would regret it if i stayed and we broke up, yes. but i guess it wouldnt matter at that point i would just chase after my friends.
Don't you want to know how we keep starting fires?
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 14, 2010, 05:46:34 AM
Don't you want to know how we keep starting fires?
ITS MY DESIRE!
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 14, 2010, 06:04:04 AM
Quote from: Fredamir Putin on February 14, 2010, 05:54:54 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 14, 2010, 05:54:13 AM
Quote from: Fredamir Putin on February 14, 2010, 05:52:04 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 14, 2010, 05:46:34 AM
Don't you want to know how we keep starting fires?
ITS MY DESIRE!
LET'S START A WAR.
START A NUCLEAR WAR?
IN THE GAY BAR GAY BAR GAY BAR WOOOO!
NOW TELL ME DO YA A DO YA HAVE ANY MONEY?
I WANNA SPEND ALL YOUR MONEY!
Quote from: Fredamir Putin on February 14, 2010, 06:05:57 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 14, 2010, 06:04:04 AM
Quote from: Fredamir Putin on February 14, 2010, 05:54:54 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 14, 2010, 05:54:13 AM
Quote from: Fredamir Putin on February 14, 2010, 05:52:04 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 14, 2010, 05:46:34 AM
Don't you want to know how we keep starting fires?
ITS MY DESIRE!
LET'S START A WAR.
START A NUCLEAR WAR?
IN THE GAY BAR GAY BAR GAY BAR WOOOO!
NOW TELL ME DO YA A DO YA HAVE ANY MONEY?
I WANNA SPEND ALL YOUR MONEY!
I see you drivin' the wheel in your fancy car
You're a superstar livin' in the three-one-oh
And I will freak you like you've never been freaked before, now
And I'm ready to go, yeah
Quote from: nuclearcabbage on February 14, 2010, 05:46:26 AM
1. i want to move to portland.
2. do i see enough future...to stay for her...if SHE decides to leave?
3. i think i would regret it if i stayed and we broke up, yes. but i guess it wouldnt matter at that point i would just chase after my friends.
I think you just answered your own question there dear.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 14, 2010, 05:46:34 AM
Don't you want to know how we keep starting fires?
BURN UR HOUSE DOWN?
Quote from: Fredamir Putin on February 14, 2010, 05:54:54 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 14, 2010, 05:54:13 AM
Quote from: Fredamir Putin on February 14, 2010, 05:52:04 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 14, 2010, 05:46:34 AM
Don't you want to know how we keep starting fires?
ITS MY DESIRE!
LET'S START A WAR.
START A NUCLEAR WAR?
JUST SAY NO TO NUCLEAR WARHEADS.
Quote from: Sparkley Pink Shit on February 14, 2010, 06:07:44 AM
Quote from: nuclearcabbage on February 14, 2010, 05:46:26 AM
1. i want to move to portland.
2. do i see enough future...to stay for her...if SHE decides to leave?
3. i think i would regret it if i stayed and we broke up, yes. but i guess it wouldnt matter at that point i would just chase after my friends.
I think you just answered your own question there dear.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 14, 2010, 05:46:34 AM
Don't you want to know how we keep starting fires?
BURN UR HOUSE DOWN?
Quote from: Fredamir Putin on February 14, 2010, 05:54:54 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 14, 2010, 05:54:13 AM
Quote from: Fredamir Putin on February 14, 2010, 05:52:04 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 14, 2010, 05:46:34 AM
Don't you want to know how we keep starting fires?
ITS MY DESIRE!
LET'S START A WAR.
START A NUCLEAR WAR?
JUST SAY NO TO NUCLEAR WARHEADS.
Three two one I'm the bomb
hm
And I'm ready to go off on your ship
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 14, 2010, 06:14:22 AM
And I'm ready to go off on your ship
I initially read that as "And I'm ready to get off on your ship" and it was an impressive visual.
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on February 14, 2010, 06:18:02 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 14, 2010, 06:14:22 AM
And I'm ready to go off on your ship
I initially read that as "And I'm ready to get off on your ship" and it was an impressive visual.
Not as impressive as the actual lyrics. :lulz:
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/electricsix/imthebomb.html
FORM OF A QUESTION SPAGS
PORTLAND
Is so ready to go off
AND
Wants to shoot on your spag parts
-WILL
They allow O'Bomba Back in?
portland is gonna erupt next time theres an earthquake...
fuck!
scary shit, yo.
EITHER
PORTLAND IS THE BEST CITY TO LIVE EVER
OR
YOU'RE A HIPPIE
1. not a hippie
2. i doubt portland is the best city ever
3. if literally ALL the people you hang out with most of the time left wouldnt you want to join them?
4. i would
Q: How about a nice game of chess?
Q: Is there anyone who *doesn't* wish they lived in Portland?
"follow the flock, step in shit.."
gotcha gotcha cool yeah
Why is it that children feed on life-essence?
How come no one told me?
How much does one charge for equine massage?
Also, do horses have chakras?
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 14, 2010, 03:22:00 PM
Q: How about a nice game of chess?
Q: Is there anyone who *doesn't* wish they lived in Portland?
I prefer checkers.
I'm sure there is somewhere.
Quote from: Alty on February 14, 2010, 03:50:15 PM
Why is it that children feed on life-essence?
How come no one told me?
How much does one charge for equine massage?
Quote from: Alty on February 14, 2010, 03:51:36 PM
Also, do horses have chakras?
Because they're like incredibly cute, spoiled, annoying parasites.
ITSATRAP.
I charge $75 a session within my normal 'territory', but would up the price if I had to travel. The normal range is about that, to about $200 in my area. (horse stuff is pricey)
If one believes in chakras they would, if one doesn't then they don't. IMO it's a matter of opinion. I think they do, but that's just me.
What's wrong with being a hippie?
Quote from: Sparkley Pink Shit on February 13, 2010, 06:02:10 AM
(http://rlv.zcache.com/wisdom_cat_business_calling_card_business_card-p2402170309008580674j5c_400.jpg)
For I know the answers to all questions.
Anal?
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on February 14, 2010, 06:56:07 PM
What's wrong with being a hippie?
Nothing imo. I'm having a hippie weekend at the pagan convention. Made a lover's knot, and Brigid's cross out of wheat yesterday. :D
Quote from: Annabel the Destroyer on February 14, 2010, 06:59:32 PM
Anal?
NOTFORU
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 14, 2010, 03:22:00 PM
Q: Is there anyone who *doesn't* wish they lived in Portland?
me.
especially if everyone from pd is moving there.
spags.
ITT: I recommend someone asks "Anal?" at least once every 1 pages.
Hell freezes over and the devil converts to Christianity and gets baptized who is going to run hell?
Quote from: nuclearcabbage on February 14, 2010, 05:36:10 AM
im not sure if the move would be temporary or not..
if this happened it would be with mostly all of my closest friends..and we all want out of the butt fuck city we live in so...
if most of my friends left and i decided stayed i would be sad...
but happy because at least im with her.
if i decided to go and she decided the opposite, i would be crushed...
im not one to impose on others, i wouldnt fight it.
i guess theres not much to contemplate at this point really...
Jesus Tittyfucking Christ. Take it to the Dashboard Confessional fan forum, OK?
What are the "beans" in Taco Bell "food" actually made out of?
ANAL???
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on February 14, 2010, 08:54:20 PM
Quote from: nuclearcabbage on February 14, 2010, 05:36:10 AM
im not sure if the move would be temporary or not..
if this happened it would be with mostly all of my closest friends..and we all want out of the butt fuck city we live in so...
if most of my friends left and i decided stayed i would be sad...
but happy because at least im with her.
if i decided to go and she decided the opposite, i would be crushed...
im not one to impose on others, i wouldnt fight it.
i guess theres not much to contemplate at this point really...
Jesus Tittyfucking Christ. Take it to the Dashboard Confessional fan forum, OK?
This fucking attention whore has been slaying threads for a couple of days now.
:lulz:
...this reminds me of that Popeye's Chicken review where they talked about dying horse sodomy...
Quote from: GIGGLES on January 23, 2008, 05:08:43 AM
The breasts were juicy, and the buns were soft and warm.
Afterwards, the division manager of Popeyes came up to my table and asked me how the meal was. I said I was satisfied, but the meal lacked a certain je ne sais quoi. He apoligized profusely, and said he had something to show me that would make up for it.
He lead me to the back of the popeyes, to a room soaked from floor to ceiling in blood. In the center of it was a live horse, chained by all four legs to the structural supports of the warehouse like room. As I watched, employees of the popeyes cut large sections from the horse, which was whinneying and screaming in horror. The popeyes employees took the chunks of horseflesh and sliced them into pieces, then they rooted around through the bags of trash strewn around the room to find discarded chicken bones. They quickly tenderized the meat with sledgehammers and fed it into a machine which formed the horsemeat around the bones, then they breaded and deepfried it.
I asked the division manager why he had led me back to this place, and he pointed at the steed's rump, the asshole puckering rythmically with terror. "We're just about to use that section, would you like a crack at it first?"
I quickly unzipped my pants and wasted no time jamming my erect Image:penisfilter.png into the stallion's defenseless asshole. I came just as the horse died. I was delighted. Popeyes definitely went the extra mile to make me a satisfied customer
the thread is called ask me anything...
uhm.
i asked a question.
the answer involved a response.
i responded.
DICKS EVERYWHERE.
You should probably stop posting.
Quote from: nuclearcabbage on February 14, 2010, 10:14:12 PM
the thread is called ask me anything...
uhm.
i asked a question.
the answer involved a response.
i responded.
DICKS EVERYWHERE.
Yeah, like the dicks who whore their music out on threads about coffee.
I hate those guys.
even if i gave a link to someone elses music..
it would still be whoring.?
Why do doves cry?
How many buckets of AIDS can nuclercabbage fill?
Oral?
Also, horray post count.
Nuclearcabbage, you (in your fifty post immunity period) have failed to pick up on the many things that makes the PD crowd angry. Now, I concede that we are angry a lot in general, and also that the things that make us angry are not necessarily the things that make other 'discordian' online communities angry (nor are they laid out straightforwardly, etc), BUT -- fifty posts has been arbitrarily designated as the number of posts it takes before we cut into a noob and give him the straight turkey. A few helpful hints:
1) Pinealism doesn't go over well here. Expect a total lack of amusement from all involved, along with (mayhaps) a serving of irritation and mockery, in best case.
2) You are not a unique special snowflake. Causing yourself to make less sense does not make you more unique. PD in general has less tolerance for this than other boards (we are a little more doing-stuff oriented than other boards as well), and so if you want to go about this the way you are going now, you can do it on another board, or expect a lot of resistance and mutual butthurt all around. That is, unless you show that somehow you really ARE special, and special enough for us to collectively put up with your nonsense. This is harder than it looks -- this board has a lot of very talented people, many of whom neither produce nor consume dadadiarhhea. The potential for you to otherwise capture our hearts with your lovable jabberwocky is low (I won't dismiss it out of hand, but I can't really say it has worked for any of the ones who have come on the board and tried it since I signed up).
3) People tear into other people here all the time. Basically any response is a bad one (including no response). We have very little modding here, which means that if you make a big social faux pas, more or less everyone will start attacking you and it will never stop. This is more or less a suggestion to avoid doing this type of shit, and to think before you post (rather than a warning about stuff you have already done), but it is worth thinking about.
If you follow the above suggestions, you might narrowly avoid being the subject of an unlimited fail thread, being hounded out of every thread in which you post, etc. I say might, because it still happens, and it even happens to accepted and established users. I can't speak for other people, but this is my own analysis of the atmosphere here, and you can take this (though caustic) rant as friendly advice. As you can see, you have been oblivious enough to more subtle hints and suggestions to gain the ire of a number of forum members. I won't hold it against you myself -- some very productive people here have gotten to a bad start (and I also got to a bad start, myself). I won't post any more about this topic in this thread, since I don't particularly want to hijack it, so for the time being, take this as my stance on the matter.
SHUT UP ENKI :argh!:
Reminds me of AKK trying to pimp his music out.
:lulz:
Quote from: Mork on February 14, 2010, 08:02:19 PM
Hell freezes over and the devil converts to Christianity and gets baptized who is going to run hell?
We already have those. They're called Evangelical Christians.
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on February 14, 2010, 09:15:55 PM
Quote from: Annabel the Destroyer on February 14, 2010, 08:57:50 PM
What are the "beans" in Taco Bell "food" actually made out of?
Quote from: Fredamir Putin on February 14, 2010, 08:59:55 PM
ANAL???
DINGDINGDINGDINGDING
Quote from: NotPublished on February 14, 2010, 10:20:34 PM
Why do doves cry?
Because god/dess hates you.
Quote from: NotPublished on February 14, 2010, 10:27:50 PM
How many buckets of AIDS can nuclercabbage fill?
not enough.
Quote from: Horrendous Foreign Love Stoat on February 15, 2010, 04:36:08 AM
QuoteIf one believes in chakras they would, if one doesn't then they don't. IMO it's a matter of opinion. I think they do, but that's just me
Do hrosies believe in chakras?
you'll have to ask the hrosie psychic. I just massage. sry.
SPS,
isn't really sry.
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 15, 2010, 01:01:51 AM
Oral?
Also, horray post count.
Nuclearcabbage, you (in your fifty post immunity period) have failed to pick up on the many things that makes the PD crowd angry. Now, I concede that we are angry a lot in general, and also that the things that make us angry are not necessarily the things that make other 'discordian' online communities angry (nor are they laid out straightforwardly, etc), BUT -- fifty posts has been arbitrarily designated as the number of posts it takes before we cut into a noob and give him the straight turkey. A few helpful hints:
1) Pinealism doesn't go over well here. Expect a total lack of amusement from all involved, along with (mayhaps) a serving of irritation and mockery, in best case.
2) You are not a unique special snowflake. Causing yourself to make less sense does not make you more unique. PD in general has less tolerance for this than other boards (we are a little more doing-stuff oriented than other boards as well), and so if you want to go about this the way you are going now, you can do it on another board, or expect a lot of resistance and mutual butthurt all around. That is, unless you show that somehow you really ARE special, and special enough for us to collectively put up with your nonsense. This is harder than it looks -- this board has a lot of very talented people, many of whom neither produce nor consume dadadiarhhea. The potential for you to otherwise capture our hearts with your lovable jabberwocky is low (I won't dismiss it out of hand, but I can't really say it has worked for any of the ones who have come on the board and tried it since I signed up).
3) People tear into other people here all the time. Basically any response is a bad one (including no response). We have very little modding here, which means that if you make a big social faux pas, more or less everyone will start attacking you and it will never stop. This is more or less a suggestion to avoid doing this type of shit, and to think before you post (rather than a warning about stuff you have already done), but it is worth thinking about.
If you follow the above suggestions, you might narrowly avoid being the subject of an unlimited fail thread, being hounded out of every thread in which you post, etc. I say might, because it still happens, and it even happens to accepted and established users. I can't speak for other people, but this is my own analysis of the atmosphere here, and you can take this (though caustic) rant as friendly advice. As you can see, you have been oblivious enough to more subtle hints and suggestions to gain the ire of a number of forum members. I won't hold it against you myself -- some very productive people here have gotten to a bad start (and I also got to a bad start, myself). I won't post any more about this topic in this thread, since I don't particularly want to hijack it, so for the time being, take this as my stance on the matter.
tl;dr
Quote from: nuclearcabbage on February 14, 2010, 10:14:12 PM
the thread is called ask me anything...
uhm.
i asked a question.
the answer involved a response.
i responded.
DICKS EVERYWHERE.
your question was retarded enough to have come from Sarah Palin's vagina. Your best bet is to get over it quickly and start working on thickening your skin. Digging your heels in and bleating like Chris Crocker about how MEAN everyone is being to you is a surefire way to be mocked and hounded to the farthest reaches of the internets. If everyone is being mean to you, you're probably being a twatwaffle. Take it as the constructive criticism that it is and move on.
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on February 15, 2010, 08:10:55 AM
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 15, 2010, 01:01:51 AM
Oral?
Also, horray post count.
Nuclearcabbage, you (in your fifty post immunity period) have failed to pick up on the many things that makes the PD crowd angry. Now, I concede that we are angry a lot in general, and also that the things that make us angry are not necessarily the things that make other 'discordian' online communities angry (nor are they laid out straightforwardly, etc), BUT -- fifty posts has been arbitrarily designated as the number of posts it takes before we cut into a noob and give him the straight turkey. A few helpful hints:
1) Pinealism doesn't go over well here. Expect a total lack of amusement from all involved, along with (mayhaps) a serving of irritation and mockery, in best case.
2) You are not a unique special snowflake. Causing yourself to make less sense does not make you more unique. PD in general has less tolerance for this than other boards (we are a little more doing-stuff oriented than other boards as well), and so if you want to go about this the way you are going now, you can do it on another board, or expect a lot of resistance and mutual butthurt all around. That is, unless you show that somehow you really ARE special, and special enough for us to collectively put up with your nonsense. This is harder than it looks -- this board has a lot of very talented people, many of whom neither produce nor consume dadadiarhhea. The potential for you to otherwise capture our hearts with your lovable jabberwocky is low (I won't dismiss it out of hand, but I can't really say it has worked for any of the ones who have come on the board and tried it since I signed up).
3) People tear into other people here all the time. Basically any response is a bad one (including no response). We have very little modding here, which means that if you make a big social faux pas, more or less everyone will start attacking you and it will never stop. This is more or less a suggestion to avoid doing this type of shit, and to think before you post (rather than a warning about stuff you have already done), but it is worth thinking about.
If you follow the above suggestions, you might narrowly avoid being the subject of an unlimited fail thread, being hounded out of every thread in which you post, etc. I say might, because it still happens, and it even happens to accepted and established users. I can't speak for other people, but this is my own analysis of the atmosphere here, and you can take this (though caustic) rant as friendly advice. As you can see, you have been oblivious enough to more subtle hints and suggestions to gain the ire of a number of forum members. I won't hold it against you myself -- some very productive people here have gotten to a bad start (and I also got to a bad start, myself). I won't post any more about this topic in this thread, since I don't particularly want to hijack it, so for the time being, take this as my stance on the matter.
tl;dr
tl;dr version:
Quote
Lurk moar.
Oral?
LESS BITCHING MOAR QUESTIONS
ENKI CAN STAY AS HE TURNED ME INTO A COOL TAROT CARD IN DIFF THREAD. BUT HE HAS TO NOT BE TL;DR. OR ELSE.
NUCLEAR CABBAGE CAN STAY IF HE/SHE GROWS A PAIR AND STOPS BEING AN EMO PUSSY.
Question:
My fiance thinks it would be irresponsible of me to use my tax return to buy a motorcycle rather than use it to get my Explorer fixed up. Should I slip her some laxatives to teach her a lesson?
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on February 15, 2010, 07:05:17 PM
Question:
My fiance thinks it would be irresponsible of me to use my tax return to buy a motorcycle rather than use it to get my Explorer fixed up. Should I slip her some laxatives to teach her a lesson?
When did she go from ECHGF to ECHF?
Congratulations.
about 3 years ago, but thanks. Everyone knows what ECHGF means but ECHF could be confusing so I just stick with the former until such time as she's properly Mrs. ECH.
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on February 15, 2010, 07:25:22 PM
about 3 years ago, but thanks. Everyone knows what ECHGF means but ECHF could be confusing so I just stick with the former until such time as she's properly Mrs. ECH.
3 years?
Well, don't lets rush into things. :lulz:
Dok,
Is not someone you should take advice from, of course, given his record.
Q: How many dadaists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Q: What's the difference between two lawyers and a senator?
Q: How many licks does it take to get to the centre of a tootsie-roll pop?
Q: Oral?
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 15, 2010, 01:01:51 AM
Oral?
Also, horray post count.
Nuclearcabbage, you (in your fifty post immunity period) have failed to pick up on the many things that makes the PD crowd angry. Now, I concede that we are angry a lot in general, and also that the things that make us angry are not necessarily the things that make other 'discordian' online communities angry (nor are they laid out straightforwardly, etc), BUT -- fifty posts has been arbitrarily designated as the number of posts it takes before we cut into a noob and give him the straight turkey. A few helpful hints:
1) Pinealism doesn't go over well here. Expect a total lack of amusement from all involved, along with (mayhaps) a serving of irritation and mockery, in best case.
2) You are not a unique special snowflake. Causing yourself to make less sense does not make you more unique. PD in general has less tolerance for this than other boards (we are a little more doing-stuff oriented than other boards as well), and so if you want to go about this the way you are going now, you can do it on another board, or expect a lot of resistance and mutual butthurt all around. That is, unless you show that somehow you really ARE special, and special enough for us to collectively put up with your nonsense. This is harder than it looks -- this board has a lot of very talented people, many of whom neither produce nor consume dadadiarhhea. The potential for you to otherwise capture our hearts with your lovable jabberwocky is low (I won't dismiss it out of hand, but I can't really say it has worked for any of the ones who have come on the board and tried it since I signed up).
3) People tear into other people here all the time. Basically any response is a bad one (including no response). We have very little modding here, which means that if you make a big social faux pas, more or less everyone will start attacking you and it will never stop. This is more or less a suggestion to avoid doing this type of shit, and to think before you post (rather than a warning about stuff you have already done), but it is worth thinking about.
If you follow the above suggestions, you might narrowly avoid being the subject of an unlimited fail thread, being hounded out of every thread in which you post, etc. I say might, because it still happens, and it even happens to accepted and established users. I can't speak for other people, but this is my own analysis of the atmosphere here, and you can take this (though caustic) rant as friendly advice. As you can see, you have been oblivious enough to more subtle hints and suggestions to gain the ire of a number of forum members. I won't hold it against you myself -- some very productive people here have gotten to a bad start (and I also got to a bad start, myself). I won't post any more about this topic in this thread, since I don't particularly want to hijack it, so for the time being, take this as my stance on the matter.
tl:r
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on February 15, 2010, 08:59:37 AM
Quote from: nuclearcabbage on February 14, 2010, 10:14:12 PM
the thread is called ask me anything...
uhm.
i asked a question.
the answer involved a response.
i responded.
DICKS EVERYWHERE.
your question was retarded enough to have come from Sarah Palin's vagina. Your best bet is to get over it quickly and start working on thickening your skin. Digging your heels in and bleating like Chris Crocker about how MEAN everyone is being to you is a surefire way to be mocked and hounded to the farthest reaches of the internets. If everyone is being mean to you, you're probably being a twatwaffle. Take it as the constructive criticism that it is and move on.
after a night of retrospective contemplation i have come to see ALL of your points...
yes, i asked a stupid question involving my emotions and confusion on actual events.
i am pretty over it actually, revelations came and went..
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on February 15, 2010, 07:05:17 PM
Question:
My fiance thinks it would be irresponsible of me to use my tax return to buy a motorcycle rather than use it to get my Explorer fixed up. Should I slip her some laxatives to teach her a lesson?
baked in "chocolate" chip cookies, of course.
Quote from: nuclearcabbage on February 15, 2010, 08:49:27 PM
after a night of retrospective contemplation i have come to see ALL of your points...
yes, i asked a stupid question involving my emotions and confusion on actual events.
i am pretty over it actually, revelations came and went..
holy shit, I think we might have a live one here. welcome to PD.
MORE QUESTIONS
Does it really seem to be that different tarot decks work better for different readings, in your personal experience?
So how are you feeling with that new Rider-Waite deck?
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on February 19, 2010, 06:21:59 PM
Does it really seem to be that different tarot decks work better for different readings, in your personal experience?
absolutely. My Osho Zen one seems to be really easy to read, and spot on with personality flaws/getting to the heart of an issue. However, while it's still good at doing future predictions (read: when it wants to), it often will refuse to if it's not "in the mood" (or I ask the same question over and over. Eventually it just tells me to shut the fuck up lol). My Samurai one seems to be a bit more happy go lucky, but I'm still working with that one as it's different than all my others. Medieval Scapini is deadly accurate, but will take the answer and beat you over the head with it. It's DOOM AND GLOOM, and majorly blunt all the way, and it's quite rare to get something that's truly positive. Its really good if you need some sense smacked into you, or are having trouble with other decks about something, but I wouldn't recommend for daily use as it's just fucking depressing. :horrormirth:
Quote from: Suu on February 19, 2010, 06:22:57 PM
So how are you feeling with that new Rider-Waite deck?
I like it so far, but it's still new. I've found it's pretty easy to read without having to cheat with the book very much. Thoughts about what the answer could be seem to pop more easily into my head with this one. But then again, I still haven't even had it for a week yet.
Dear SPS,
Filthy assistant is technically human, but acts in stupid ways that infuriate me. Right now, for example, he is blathering away about something I couldn't care less about, despite the fact that I am blatantly ignoring him while I type this.
Given that he's technically human, but really stupid, would homicide be justifiable, or should I restrict myself to making him miserable, and maybe holding him over late for no reason, as it's Friday?
Hold him over late. Remember, you can only kill him once, but you can torture him forever.
Quote from: Sparkley Pink Shit on February 19, 2010, 06:45:13 PM
Hold him over late. Remember, you can only kill him once, but you can torture him forever.
Point. His stupidity is only marginally more painful than the side effects from my sleeping meds anyway.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 19, 2010, 06:46:05 PM
Quote from: Sparkley Pink Shit on February 19, 2010, 06:45:13 PM
Hold him over late. Remember, you can only kill him once, but you can torture him forever.
Point. His stupidity is only marginally more painful than the side effects from my sleeping meds anyway.
Well there you go. Problem solved. :D
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on February 16, 2010, 07:45:58 AM
Quote from: nuclearcabbage on February 15, 2010, 08:49:27 PM
after a night of retrospective contemplation i have come to see ALL of your points...
yes, i asked a stupid question involving my emotions and confusion on actual events.
i am pretty over it actually, revelations came and went..
holy shit, I think we might have a live one here. welcome to PD.
why thank yee
A woman who may or may not be crazy is stalking me on twitter. Should I ask her out?
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 20, 2010, 02:48:02 AM
A woman who may or may not be crazy is stalking me on twitter. Should I ask her out?
No.
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 20, 2010, 02:48:02 AM
A woman who may or may not be crazy is stalking me on twitter. Should I ask her out?
Sounds like a great idea.
(http://memegenerator.net/Content/Images/Templates/Advice%20Dog.jpg)
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 20, 2010, 02:48:02 AM
A woman who may or may not be crazy is stalking me on twitter. Should I ask her out?
Absolutely. Nothing says 'I love you' better than endless stalking, and eventually, 'if I can't have you, nobody can!'
It's why I went back to my stalker recently. <3
Wait...no I didn't. :|
Ostensibly she lives on a different continent, which is why I'm not being particularly cautious. Also, she's cute. And, she might be delusional-crazy rather than stabby-crazy.
Quote from: Horrendous Foreign Love Stoat on February 20, 2010, 01:53:49 PM
nah, she's just good at proxies. for the love of god CHECK THE CLOSET! :lol:
QuoteAlso, she's cute. And, she might be delusional-crazy rather than stabby-crazy.
Bugs in the brain telling her to do things crazy delusional, or faeries at the bottom of the garden style crazy? Or infact, maby her internet persona is nothing like her real life and she's straight laced and not a bit crazy. people do that you know. :?
Her 'semi-autobiographical' novel includes the protagonist saying lines like "Wednesday? What the fuck is Wednesday? Who are you?" That kinda points to traditional schizophrenia (rather than paranoid schizophrenia) to me.
Enki, don't do it. That's an order.
SPS,
Hath spoken
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 20, 2010, 02:48:02 AM
A woman who may or may not be crazy is stalking me on twitter. Should I ask her out?
Fuck yes. Trust me, I am an expert on getting involved in weird fucking shit that always leads to disaster and potential threats to life and limb. Stick your goddamn head down that rabbithole, and see if you pull back a stump.
Boo yah.
Oh, wait. SPS already said no, so I guess you better not.
I think Holy Men would always advise him to go for it.
SPS isn't a Holy Man, she's a seeress or some such.
SPS, who would win in a fight? A Holy Man or a Seeress or some such?
SPS, wanna fight me?
Quote from: Payne on February 20, 2010, 03:32:13 PM
I think Holy Men would always advise him to go for it.
SPS isn't a Holy Man, she's a seeress or some such.
SPS, who would win in a fight? A Holy Man or a Seeress or some such?
SPS, wanna fight me?
1. As a Doktor, I concur with line 1.
2. SPS would beat you like a mule. Just saying.
Quote from: Payne on February 20, 2010, 03:32:13 PM
I think Holy Men would always advise him to go for it.
SPS isn't a Holy Man, she's a seeress or some such.
SPS, who would win in a fight? A Holy Man or a Seeress or some such?
SPS, wanna fight me?
BRING IT ON YOU LIMP NOODLE! :argh!:
SPS,
fights dirty, and would fucking ANYBODY!
ahem...I'll just leave this here....
Quote from: Sparkley Pink Shit on February 19, 2010, 05:50:56 PM
SPS,
could crush someone's skull with the sheer power of her inner thighs.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 20, 2010, 03:33:03 PM
2. SPS would beat you like a mule. Just saying.
Of this there is no doubt.
Besides this would only be a warm up fight for SPS, in preparation for the inevitable Pixie vs. SPS grudgematch that would follow. Which we could film and broadcast to PD on Pay Per View, splitting the profits equally.
Quote from: Sparkley Pink Shit on February 20, 2010, 03:33:54 PM
Quote from: Payne on February 20, 2010, 03:32:13 PM
I think Holy Men would always advise him to go for it.
SPS isn't a Holy Man, she's a seeress or some such.
SPS, who would win in a fight? A Holy Man or a Seeress or some such?
SPS, wanna fight me?
BRING IT ON YOU LIMP NOODLE! :argh!:
SPS,
fights dirty, and would fucking ANYBODY!
See above.
It's a sound business plan.
Quote from: Payne on February 20, 2010, 03:37:42 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 20, 2010, 03:33:03 PM
2. SPS would beat you like a mule. Just saying.
Of this there is no doubt.
Besides this would only be a warm up fight for SPS, in preparation for the inevitable Pixie vs. SPS grudgematch that would follow. Which we could film and broadcast to PD on Pay Per View, splitting the profits equally.
NOT FIGHTING PIXIE BECAUSE SHE'S TOO AWESOME.
I'll just mail her some of my orgasmic makeupsex cookies instead. :D
Quote from: Horrendous Foreign Love Stoat on February 20, 2010, 03:37:51 PM
Honestly Dok, you could say this till you ran out of air and passed out, or retype it till your fingers are bloody nubs, but, this is one of the things you have to learn for yourself, & personally speaking, I've had slightly more great mad adventures than bloody stumps so far on the ratio of the thing.
Doesn't fucking matter. Each and every weird trip has to be launched into head fucking first, with no thought for the odds. Never tell me the odds. Just pass the frickin' weird, and let me do my thing. THERE'S NO GODDAMN
TIME TO QUESTION IT! And one day they'll sweep my carcass up with the morning trash, but at least I will have - if only for a time - walked with The King.
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 20, 2010, 01:44:38 PM
Ostensibly she lives on a different continent, which is why I'm not being particularly cautious. Also, she's cute. And, she might be delusional-crazy rather than stabby-crazy.
how are you going to ask her out if she lives on a different continent?
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on February 20, 2010, 04:47:09 PM
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 20, 2010, 01:44:38 PM
Ostensibly she lives on a different continent, which is why I'm not being particularly cautious. Also, she's cute. And, she might be delusional-crazy rather than stabby-crazy.
how are you going to ask her out if she lives on a different continent?
The same way I would if she lived on the same continent but out of range of the local bus route.
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 20, 2010, 06:17:18 PM
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on February 20, 2010, 04:47:09 PM
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 20, 2010, 01:44:38 PM
Ostensibly she lives on a different continent, which is why I'm not being particularly cautious. Also, she's cute. And, she might be delusional-crazy rather than stabby-crazy.
how are you going to ask her out if she lives on a different continent?
The same way I would if she lived on the same continent but out of range of the local bus route.
Which is to say, some form of weepy long-distance thing which will emotionally tie you up but never get you laid?
I bet you can hear me sneering from there.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 20, 2010, 06:19:55 PM
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 20, 2010, 06:17:18 PM
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on February 20, 2010, 04:47:09 PM
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 20, 2010, 01:44:38 PM
Ostensibly she lives on a different continent, which is why I'm not being particularly cautious. Also, she's cute. And, she might be delusional-crazy rather than stabby-crazy.
how are you going to ask her out if she lives on a different continent?
The same way I would if she lived on the same continent but out of range of the local bus route.
Which is to say, some form of weepy long-distance thing which will emotionally tie you up but never get you laid?
I bet you can hear me sneering from there.
Pretty much. I'm in two at the moment.
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 20, 2010, 06:25:22 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 20, 2010, 06:19:55 PM
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 20, 2010, 06:17:18 PM
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on February 20, 2010, 04:47:09 PM
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 20, 2010, 01:44:38 PM
Ostensibly she lives on a different continent, which is why I'm not being particularly cautious. Also, she's cute. And, she might be delusional-crazy rather than stabby-crazy.
how are you going to ask her out if she lives on a different continent?
The same way I would if she lived on the same continent but out of range of the local bus route.
Which is to say, some form of weepy long-distance thing which will emotionally tie you up but never get you laid?
I bet you can hear me sneering from there.
Pretty much. I'm in two at the moment.
2 X 0 life = still 0 life.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 20, 2010, 06:19:55 PM
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 20, 2010, 06:17:18 PM
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on February 20, 2010, 04:47:09 PM
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 20, 2010, 01:44:38 PM
Ostensibly she lives on a different continent, which is why I'm not being particularly cautious. Also, she's cute. And, she might be delusional-crazy rather than stabby-crazy.
how are you going to ask her out if she lives on a different continent?
The same way I would if she lived on the same continent but out of range of the local bus route.
Which is to say, some form of weepy long-distance thing which will emotionally tie you up but never get you laid?
I bet you can hear me sneering from there.
Long distance relationships suck. I'm going to be fixing the long distance part out as soon as I can.
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 20, 2010, 06:25:22 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 20, 2010, 06:19:55 PM
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 20, 2010, 06:17:18 PM
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on February 20, 2010, 04:47:09 PM
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 20, 2010, 01:44:38 PM
Ostensibly she lives on a different continent, which is why I'm not being particularly cautious. Also, she's cute. And, she might be delusional-crazy rather than stabby-crazy.
how are you going to ask her out if she lives on a different continent?
The same way I would if she lived on the same continent but out of range of the local bus route.
Which is to say, some form of weepy long-distance thing which will emotionally tie you up but never get you laid?
I bet you can hear me sneering from there.
Pretty much. I'm in two at the moment.
You dawg.
Quote from: Payne on February 20, 2010, 06:28:25 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 20, 2010, 06:19:55 PM
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 20, 2010, 06:17:18 PM
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on February 20, 2010, 04:47:09 PM
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 20, 2010, 01:44:38 PM
Ostensibly she lives on a different continent, which is why I'm not being particularly cautious. Also, she's cute. And, she might be delusional-crazy rather than stabby-crazy.
how are you going to ask her out if she lives on a different continent?
The same way I would if she lived on the same continent but out of range of the local bus route.
Which is to say, some form of weepy long-distance thing which will emotionally tie you up but never get you laid?
I bet you can hear me sneering from there.
Long distance relationships suck. I'm going to be fixing the long distance part out as soon as I can.
If you actually go SEE each other though, as you and Pix have, or even have future concrete plans to do so, it's different.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 20, 2010, 06:29:42 PM
Quote from: Payne on February 20, 2010, 06:28:25 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 20, 2010, 06:19:55 PM
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 20, 2010, 06:17:18 PM
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on February 20, 2010, 04:47:09 PM
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 20, 2010, 01:44:38 PM
Ostensibly she lives on a different continent, which is why I'm not being particularly cautious. Also, she's cute. And, she might be delusional-crazy rather than stabby-crazy.
how are you going to ask her out if she lives on a different continent?
The same way I would if she lived on the same continent but out of range of the local bus route.
Which is to say, some form of weepy long-distance thing which will emotionally tie you up but never get you laid?
I bet you can hear me sneering from there.
Long distance relationships suck. I'm going to be fixing the long distance part out as soon as I can.
If you actually go SEE each other though, as you and Pix have, or even have future concrete plans to do so, it's different.
Was there supposed to be an upside there? I think I missed it.
So yeah, I've got a few questions for you or anyone who wants to answer them:
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=24220.0
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on February 20, 2010, 01:44:38 PM
Ostensibly she lives on a different continent, which is why I'm not being particularly cautious. Also, she's cute. And, she might be delusional-crazy rather than stabby-crazy.
Then you can't really "ask her out", can you?
You know what needs to happen? I want to put an initiative on the ballot to amend the constitution to define "dating" as "an activity during which two human beings are capable of actually physically touching each other at some point". Calling what you do "dating" totally cheapens the experience of people in
actual long distance relationships... you know, the ones where they have touched and smelt each other and stared into each other's eyes and maybe even fucked, and due to some inconvenient geographical considerations are forced to go extended periods apart from each other, longing for each opportunity to visit and TOUCH and SMELL each other again. I know people who have gone through or are going through that right now, and it's not easy... it's hard as hell. When you've nestled up to someone, when you've buried your face in the hollow between their neck and their shoulder, when you've felt them inside you or you inside them...
missing them is a constant, visceral agony.
It is impossible to miss, to that degree, someone you've never physically met. People think they do... people who have never been in love in real life. The same people who think they are "in love with" celebrities, or video game characters.
This online thing where you've never met outside of a chatroom and masturbate at each other over webcam isn't "dating"... it's mutual fantasy. At best it's live web porn. It's less complicated and messy than actual dating because it's NOT DATING. STOP CALLING IT THAT.
Yeah Enki, stop destroying the sanctity of our values!
It kind of reminds me of those oversensitive hippie bitches who say they feel like they've been "raped" because a man made a suggestive comment to them.
"It's like a form of rape!"
Except that no, it isn't.
in that context, I'm about to go "rape" most of Hawthorne from 50th down to 29th, and take notes of the reactions.
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on February 20, 2010, 10:42:52 PM
in that context, I'm about to go "rape" most of Hawthorne from 50th down to 29th, and take notes of the reactions.
PICS PLS
BUMP
FOR I HAVE ALCOHOL.
AND KNOW ALL THE SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE. SO ASK AWAY BITCHES.KTHX.
:lulz:
WHY DO MENSTRUAL CYCLES EXIST? OTHER THAN TO FUCKUP MY PLANS OF REFRIGERATOR BASED SEX?
HOW DO I SHOT WEB?
Quote from: Alty on February 24, 2010, 06:34:08 AM
WHY DO MENSTRUAL CYCLES EXIST? OTHER THAN TO FUCKUP MY PLANS OF REFRIGERATOR BASED SEX?
THAT IS THE ONLY REASON.
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on February 24, 2010, 06:34:49 AM
HOW DO I SHOT WEB?
WHAT
Well that's a load of bullshit.
Oh, wait.
Well that's a load of bullshit?
Quote from: Alty on February 24, 2010, 06:55:17 AM
Well that's a load of bullshit.
Oh, wait.
Well that's a load of bullshit?
WOULD BE THIS
(http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1033/1448136982_97143ab483_o.jpg)
Why is Apple Talk full of a bunch of shitting blog threads that make me want to go and look over at TCC for a good conversation?
Quote from: Cain on February 24, 2010, 04:27:29 PM
Why is Apple Talk full of a bunch of shitting blog threads that make me want to go and look over at TCC for a good conversation?
Because it's apple talk. Also, we like to ruin your day. :D