.PWN THYSELF.
CAPS ARE MADATORY!
Here goes:
I AM ACUTELY UNCOMFORTABLE URINATING WITH SOMEONE STANDING NEAR ME AND POTENTIALLY ASSESING MY STANCE / BODY LANGUAGE / JUNK!
:cramstipated:
Go!
WHEN PEOPLE HELP ME WITH GAS MONEY I OVERESTIMATE HOW MUCH IT WILL COST SO THAT I CAN PURCHASE MORE SNACKS ON THE ROAD.
:walken:
I REMOVE NOSEHAIRS AND TOENAILS IN THE WORKPLACE,
WHEN I HAD A CRUSH ON A GIRL IN MIDDLE SCHOOL, I COULDN'T GET UP THE COURAGE TO ASK HER OUT, AND I LET THE BIGGEST DOUCHE I KNOW GO FOR HER AND DATE HER FOR YEARS. MAY OR MAY NOT STILL HAVE THAT CRUSH.
:x SHAAAAAME
Quote from: Sigmatic on March 24, 2010, 08:34:31 PM
WHEN I HAD A CRUSH ON A GIRL IN MIDDLE SCHOOL, I COULDN'T GET UP THE COURAGE TO ASK HER OUT, AND I LET THE BIGGEST DOUCHE I KNOW GO FOR HER AND DATE HER FOR YEARS. MAY OR MAY NOT STILL HAVE THAT CRUSH.
:x SHAAAAAME
I'M STILL AT THAT STAGE, ONLY WITHOUT THE DOUCHE. AND THE MIDDLE SCHOOL. AM BIG BOY NOW. :x
Quote from: Sigmatic on March 24, 2010, 08:34:31 PM
WHEN I HAD A CRUSH ON A GIRL IN MIDDLE SCHOOL, I COULDN'T GET UP THE COURAGE TO ASK HER OUT, AND I LET THE BIGGEST DOUCHE I KNOW GO FOR HER AND DATE HER FOR YEARS. MAY OR MAY NOT STILL HAVE THAT CRUSH.
:x SHAAAAAME
SAME HERE.
EXCEPT IT TURNS OUT SHE HAD HAD A CRUSH ON ME FOR YEARS BUT GOT TIRED OF WAITING
FFS
DESPITE HAVING STUDIED THE CLIFF NOTES AND LISTENED TO A LECTURE ON IT, I HAVE STILL NOT READ 1984.
I AM AFRAID OF MAKING TELEPHONE CALLS. NO CLUE WHY, I JUST GET PANIC ATTACKS WHEN I HAVE TO CALL PEOPLE.
I AM A KITTY
Quote from: PeregrineBF on March 24, 2010, 09:02:31 PM
I AM AFRAID OF MAKING TELEPHONE CALLS. NO CLUE WHY, I JUST GET PANIC ATTACKS WHEN I HAVE TO CALL PEOPLE.
OMG YOU TOO??
I AM SO HAPPY THAT IM NOT ALONE IN THIS.
Quote from: Lysergic on March 24, 2010, 11:44:28 PM
Quote from: PeregrineBF on March 24, 2010, 09:02:31 PM
I AM AFRAID OF MAKING TELEPHONE CALLS. NO CLUE WHY, I JUST GET PANIC ATTACKS WHEN I HAVE TO CALL PEOPLE.
OMG YOU TOO??
I AM SO HAPPY THAT IM NOT ALONE IN THIS.
SAME MINUS THE PANIC ATTACKS. BUT I TRY TO FIND AWAY OUT OF IT FOR HOURS WHEN ITS ONLY A 5 MIN PHONE CALL. CALLS TO PARENTS DONT COUNT
I HAVE A SLIGHTLY BAD TEMPER.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 25, 2010, 12:12:16 AM
I HAVE A SLIGHTLY BAD TEMPER.
:lol: :lol: :lol: ROGER WINS
Quote from: Fredamir Putin on March 24, 2010, 11:51:35 PM
Quote from: Lysergic on March 24, 2010, 11:44:28 PM
Quote from: PeregrineBF on March 24, 2010, 09:02:31 PM
I AM AFRAID OF MAKING TELEPHONE CALLS. NO CLUE WHY, I JUST GET PANIC ATTACKS WHEN I HAVE TO CALL PEOPLE.
OMG YOU TOO??
I AM SO HAPPY THAT IM NOT ALONE IN THIS.
SAME MINUS THE PANIC ATTACKS. BUT I TRY TO FIND AWAY OUT OF IT FOR HOURS WHEN ITS ONLY A 5 MIN PHONE CALL. CALLS TO PARENTS DONT COUNT
I'VE PROBABLY ALREADY SAID SO BUT I AM THE SAME WAY
ALSO I JUST LET SOMEONE DYE MY HAIR BLONDE SO I CAN BE A BETTER DR. HORRIBLE FOR I-CON
ME = DANDELION
I HAVEN'T READ CATCHER IN THE RYE, TKAM-BIRD, CATCH22, F-451, OR MANY OTHER "MODERN CLASSICS EVERYONE SWEARS BY.
I STILL HAVE MOMENTS OF PARANOIA AND I PROBABLY ALWAYS WILL, BECAUSE MY BRAIN WAS WEAK AND EASILY SMASHED.
I AM SELF CRIPPLINGLY FATALISTIC AT TIMES.
I SPEND MORE TIME DREAMING ABOUT MY LIFE THAN ACTUALLY ENACTING CHANGES TO IMPROVE IT
Quote from: Nast on March 25, 2010, 12:48:52 AM
I SPEND MORE TIME DREAMING ABOUT MY LIFE THAN ACTUALLY ENACTING CHANGES TO IMPROVE IT
THEN GOYA.
I NEVER TAKE PEOPLE SERIOUSLY
I FARTED IN THE PRESENCE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN AND BLAMED IT ON A 3 YEAR OLD!
I HAVE FEELINGS FOR TEN TON MANTIS
I BECOME A MORON IN THE PRESENCE OF CUTE REDHEADS.
Quote from: Ten Ton Mantis on March 25, 2010, 03:12:59 AM
I FARTED IN THE PRESENCE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN AND BLAMED IT ON A 3 YEAR OLD!
Owned.
:):hi5::)
Quote from: Richter on March 25, 2010, 03:15:19 AM
I BECOME A MORON IN THE PRESENCE OF CUTE REDHEADS.
I BECOME A MORON
I AM ALWAYS OWNED
WHEN I WAS 12 A LAZY JAMAICAN IN AN ELEVATOR INADVERTENTLY CAUSED ME TO SHIT MY PANCE!
I am a terrible procrastinator when it comes to projects.
WHEN I WAS 12 I PEED MY PANTS IN CLASS CAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO GO TO THE TOILET AND DIDNT WANT TO MISS CLASS
When I was very young I got my foreskin caught in my zipper.
In the middle of the supermarket.
The tallest man in the store (dude towered over the shelves) stepped in from the next checkout line to help my mother.
*The seemingly-impossibly-tall, back-lit shadow leans over you and says, "Don't worry, it'll be quick. This will probably hurt like hell, tho." ZIIIIIIIP! *
WHEN I SAW TELARUS NOT POSTING IN CAPS I BROKE MY MONITOR BY STABBING IT REPEATEDLY WITH THE RAGING MURDERBONER I DEVELOPED AS A RESULT OF CAPSLACK! FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!
MY DICK HURTS!
PAIN WHERE PAIN SHOULD NOT BE....
I HAVE FEELINGS FOR MY CAT. IN TEXT FORM THEY READ, "GTFO MY WAY!"
I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SO FRIGHTENED OF REJECTION THAT I HAVE NEVER PREVIOUSLY BEEN INVOLVED WITH ANYONE, AND AT TWENTY ONE, I'M FINALLY MOVING TOWARDS THAT.
I'VE BEEN HAVING STARTLING HALLUCINATIONS FROM SEVERE SLEEP DEPRIVATION WHERE I HEAR PEOPLE SHOUTING VIOLENTLY AT EACH OTHER WHENEVER THE SHOWER AND FAN ARE ON.
ALSO, OCCASIONAL BLOODCURDLING SHRIEKS OF SOMETHING HORRIBLE HAPPENING, BUT THEY GO AWAY AFTER THE SHOWER AND FAN ARE OFF.
I CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW HORRIBLE THE VISUAL HALLUCINATIONS ARE.
I PEERED INTO THE FAN EXPECTING TO SEE A FACE BEHIND THE GRATE BUT INSTEAD I COULD SENSE BEINGS IN CLOSE PROXIMITY, IN THE SHADOWS, BEHIND THE WALLS, FOLLOWING ME TO THE BEDROOM, BEARING DOWN ON ME AS I PLUMMETED INTO SLEEP.
Quote from: Ten Ton Mantis on March 25, 2010, 03:12:59 AM
I FARTED IN THE PRESENCE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN AND BLAMED IT ON A 3 YEAR OLD!
I ONCE CUT A ZEN FART AT A PARTY AND LET ONE OF THE GIRLS WALKING AROUND PANCELESS TAKE THE HEAT FOR IT!
Quote from: Ne+@uNGr0+ on March 25, 2010, 08:48:24 AM
I'VE BEEN HAVING STARTLING HALLUCINATIONS FROM SEVERE SLEEP DEPRIVATION WHERE I HEAR PEOPLE SHOUTING VIOLENTLY AT EACH OTHER WHENEVER THE SHOWER AND FAN ARE ON.
ALSO, OCCASIONAL BLOODCURDLING SHRIEKS OF SOMETHING HORRIBLE HAPPENING, BUT THEY GO AWAY AFTER THE SHOWER AND FAN ARE OFF.
I CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW HORRIBLE THE VISUAL HALLUCINATIONS ARE.
I PEERED INTO THE FAN EXPECTING TO SEE A FACE BEHIND THE GRATE BUT INSTEAD I COULD SENSE BEINGS IN CLOSE PROXIMITY, IN THE SHADOWS, BEHIND THE WALLS, FOLLOWING ME TO THE BEDROOM, BEARING DOWN ON ME AS I PLUMMETED INTO SLEEP.
Please try to describe them. I'm only on day 20, and am running out of ideas.
Also,
I COULD HAVE BEEN A
CONTENDER PROFESSIONAL MUSICIAN, BUT I RAN AWAY FROM THE OPPORTUNITY TWENTY YEARS AGO AND HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET BACK THERE EVER SINCE.
MY SHAME IS TOO SHAMEFUL FOR THIS THREAD.
WHAT A SHAME!
WHEN WAS 4 I SHAT IN THE TUB ONCE AND TRIED TO COVER IT UP BY SAYING IT WAS A FISH!
DID IT WORK?
ALMOST. IT WAS A FLOATER TOO. CUNNING AND TAPERED.
MOM HIT RAGEMIRTH SEEING ME TRY TO CRAM IT BACK UP THE SPIGGOT.
I DO VERY LITTLE WITH MY DAY, WHEN I HAVE LOADS OF FREE TIME THAT I COULD PUT TO CREATIVE USE IF I JUST STOPPED BEING A LAZY FUCK
I BOUGHT A BOOK A WEEK AGO AND HAVEN'T SPENT MORE THAN TWENTY MINUTES READING IT.
Quote from: Richter on March 25, 2010, 05:42:07 PM
ALMOST. IT WAS A FLOATER TOO. CUNNING AND TAPERED.
MOM HIT RAGEMIRTH SEEING ME TRY TO CRAM IT BACK UP THE SPIGGOT.
:lulz: I snickered for like 5 minutes after reading this.
I used to be ashamed of it. Shame Thread has turned this into skeeting lail. :lulz:
PD.com - Better than therapy.
I AM WHAT THE HOLO CAUSED.
Quote from: Richter on March 26, 2010, 02:47:55 PM
I used to be ashamed of it. Shame Thread has turned this into skeeting lail. :lulz:
See personal text.
8)
:hammer: :awesome:
I HAVE BEEN FARTING ROTTEN GAS ALL MORNING. LUNCH IS MORE OF THE TORTELLINI WHAT CAUSED IT.
Quote from: Richter on March 29, 2010, 05:49:54 PM
I HAVE BEEN FARTING ROTTEN GAS ALL MORNING. LUNCH IS MORE OF THE TORTELLINI WHAT CAUSED IT.
WHERE IS THE SHAME PART?
I HAVE BEEN WORKING DILIGENTLY ALL MORNING. I AM NAKED AND ASHAMED. :(
I PISSED IN THE SHOWER TO SAVE WATER.
I SHAT IN THE SANDWICHES TO SAVE MAYO.
I FART MORE SO THE EARTH HEATS UP FASTER, 'CAUSE I FUCKING HATE THE SNOW.
I have no shame.
...guess that could BE a shame in and of itself?
Nah.
I DONNO WHO JOHN WATERS IS.
I'M SMOKING THE DEVIL WEED AND IT'S ONLY 11AM.
A PSYCHOPATIC MOTHER DANCING INTERRACIALLY AFTER KILLING THEIR HUSBAND WEARING CHA-CHA HEELS MOTORCYCLE-RIDIN' IRONICALLY DEVOID PHOTORGRAPHIC OYSTER-SLURPIN' SHAME.
Quote from: LMNO on March 30, 2010, 07:16:35 PM
A PSYCHOPATIC MOTHER DANCING INTERRACIALLY AFTER KILLING THEIR HUSBAND WEARING CHA-CHA HEELS MOTORCYCLE-RIDIN' IRONICALLY DEVOID PHOTORGRAPHIC OYSTER-SLURPIN' SHAME.
and the crowd roared for more!
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 25, 2010, 03:17:40 AM
Quote from: Richter on March 25, 2010, 03:15:19 AM
I BECOME A MORON IN THE PRESENCE OF CUTE REDHEADS.
I BECOME A MORON
Seriously still one of my favorite new sayings.
WHEN I DON'T WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE, INSTEAD OF MANNING IT UP AND DECIDING ON THE SPOT I PROCRASTINATE SUCH THAT IT IS NO LONGER FEASIBLE TO ATTEND BECAUSE BY THE TIME I ARRIVED I WOULD BE REALLY LATE
I AM A JANITOR.
A JANITOR
RATHER THAN JUST CLEAN MY FUCKING GLASSES SO I CAN SEE, I WOULD RATHER TRY TO PEER THROUGH AND AROUND THE VARIOUS SPOTS ON THEM.
I OPENLY ADMIT TO BEING OK WITH POSSESSING DEAD THINGS.
I AM ALL THESE THINGS AND MANY MORE FOR I AM THE MOTHERFUCKING MESSIAH OF SHAME.
I KIND OF LIKE NINE INCH NAILS.
I flirt too much. Even if I mean nothing by it. :(
Quote from: Suu on April 16, 2010, 08:48:31 PM
I flirt too much. Even if I mean nothing by it. :(
Wait,
that's shameful?
Quote from: Sigmatic on April 16, 2010, 04:33:09 AM
I AM A JANITOR.
A JANITOR
Where's the shame in that?
This is turning into the First World Problems thread, isn't it?
True shame:
I AM NOT ASHAMED TO FART IN PUBLIC.
Quote from: LMNO on April 16, 2010, 08:49:02 PM
Quote from: Suu on April 16, 2010, 08:48:31 PM
I flirt too much. Even if I mean nothing by it. :(
Wait, that's shameful?
Oh wait, nevermind. I'm not married to Herbert anymore.
...So uh...how YOU doin'?
Quote from: LMNO on April 16, 2010, 08:49:02 PM
Quote from: Suu on April 16, 2010, 08:48:31 PM
I flirt too much. Even if I mean nothing by it. :(
Wait, that's shameful?
It's a somewhere between a form of flattery and a sport, IMHO. Just like all gladiator fights weren't necessarily to the death, all flirting doesn't necessarily mean explicit intent.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 16, 2010, 08:49:26 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on April 16, 2010, 04:33:09 AM
I AM A JANITOR.
A JANITOR
Where's the shame in that?
Clearly, I am meant for Better Things
TM. I have dreams, dammit. :lol:
Ok, it really ain't that bad. At least I have a reason not to sleep in every damn day now. That was getting out of hand.
I don't drink so much, but if I go to the store to buy some beer, I always have to buy something with it, otherwise I feel people will judge me as an alcoholic. I often end of buying many small things, pasta, rice, milk, ect., to make it look like my beer was an afterthought.
Quote from: NotPubli on March 25, 2010, 03:32:22 AM
WHEN I WAS 12 I PEED MY PANTS IN CLASS CAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO GO TO THE TOILET AND DIDNT WANT TO MISS CLASS
same thing except younger and poop
Quote from: NWC on April 17, 2010, 01:52:45 AM
I don't drink so much, but if I go to the store to buy some beer, I always have to buy something with it, otherwise I feel people will judge me as an alcoholic. I often end of buying many small things, pasta, rice, milk, ect., to make it look like my beer was an afterthought.
ok, yeah. That's shameful.
Quote from: NWC on April 17, 2010, 01:52:45 AM
I don't drink so much, but if I go to the store to buy some beer, I always have to buy something with it, otherwise I feel people will judge me as an alcoholic. I often end of buying many small things, pasta, rice, milk, ect., to make it look like my beer was an afterthought.
But you live in Belgium. Over here, everybody (just about everybody) feels they need to make up an excuse if they want a drink before 18h. Like "oh, it's 16h now, and we're at a sort of party right, so yeah I think I can start on a beer now, hm?".
It's one of the things foreign people are taught when they get inburgeringscursus ("dutch culture class", sort of), along with such social oddities as how to properly congratulate your neighbour on having a baby (I think you are supposed to drop them a card, cause just ringing them up might be stressfull to the new mother or so--I forget, I'm not that well burgered myself) ("burger" is Dutch for citizen btw).
A liquid lunch in a public place like LMNO does sometimes would probably get you looks, here. Unless maybe you're a construction worker or so, but even then.
Yeah I know it's not so weird, but I still feel self-conscious. I live here but I didn't grow up here, it still feels weird that my girlfriend's parents always offer me a beer with dinner, and ask if I want another afterward(to which I always answer no).
Btw I love that the Dutch word for citizen is burger, I was in Ghent recently with some friends who taught me that after I saw a sign that said weltburger, and had a bunch of pictures of people, which I said must have been an advertisement for a cannibal restaurant.
Quote from: Triple Zero on April 17, 2010, 10:28:52 AM
Quote from: NWC on April 17, 2010, 01:52:45 AM
I don't drink so much, but if I go to the store to buy some beer, I always have to buy something with it, otherwise I feel people will judge me as an alcoholic. I often end of buying many small things, pasta, rice, milk, ect., to make it look like my beer was an afterthought.
But you live in Belgium. Over here, everybody (just about everybody) feels they need to make up an excuse if they want a drink before 18h. Like "oh, it's 16h now, and we're at a sort of party right, so yeah I think I can start on a beer now, hm?".
It's one of the things foreign people are taught when they get inburgeringscursus ("dutch culture class", sort of), along with such social oddities as how to properly congratulate your neighbour on having a baby (I think you are supposed to drop them a card, cause just ringing them up might be stressfull to the new mother or so--I forget, I'm not that well burgered myself) ("burger" is Dutch for citizen btw).
A liquid lunch in a public place like LMNO does sometimes would probably get you looks, here. Unless maybe you're a construction worker or so, but even then.
Bugger that. I prefer the convention in Key West. Their motto is: It's five o'clock somewhere, right? I'll have a beer.
Quote from: NWC on April 17, 2010, 01:52:45 AM
I don't drink so much, but if I go to the store to buy some beer, I always have to buy something with it, otherwise I feel people will judge me as an alcoholic. I often end of buying many small things, pasta, rice, milk, ect., to make it look like my beer was an afterthought.
No shit
there is one store that I pretty much only go to for beer or wine, it never occurs to me to buy anything else with it. Of course, in Portland it is culturally appropriate to have beer for breakfast, so...
I JUST TOOK DOWN MY CHRISTMAS LIGHTS!!!!
:D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rp_TBm3Gwq0
I let the random shit from this very strange website (http://www.sign69.com/) run for close to 3 hours straight, and I was either listening to it or actively watching almost the entire time.
ETA: Some content may be NSFW, also, it is not epileptic friendly.
Damn! Thanks for the warning though.
I OWN A WINGER ALBUM AND I LIKE IT!
I OWN KORN'S FIRST THREE!
I own a Terry Jacks album. On vinyl.
Oh, yeah.
I AM PETRIFIED OF BECOMING AN ALCOHOLIC EVEN THOUGH BY NORMAL STANDARDS I AM QUITE PRUDISH IRL. AND HAVE ONLY JUST LAST WEEK TRIED WEED FOR THE FIRST TIME. ALSO, COOKIEDOUGH FLAVORED PROTEIN BARS ARE AMAZING.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 25, 2010, 03:17:40 AM
Quote from: Richter on March 25, 2010, 03:15:19 AM
I BECOME A MORON IN THE PRESENCE OF CUTE REDHEADS.
I BECOME A MORON
I BECOME A MORMON
I AM ALSO HOPELESSLY ADDICTED TO GHOST HUNTERS
Quote from: Sparkley Pink Shit on April 30, 2010, 04:26:07 AM
I AM ALSO HOPELESSLY ADDICTED TO GHOST HUNTERS
TV will rot your brain, and make you more Mormon. It's true.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 30, 2010, 04:26:48 AM
Quote from: Sparkley Pink Shit on April 30, 2010, 04:26:07 AM
I AM ALSO HOPELESSLY ADDICTED TO GHOST HUNTERS
TV will rot your brain, and make you more Mormon. It's true.
At least I still get my magic underwear
(http://www.salamandersociety.com/romney/070116mitt_ann_romney_mormon_underwear.jpg)
Coulda gone ALLLLL day without seeing that, Missy.
Quote from: Sparkley Pink Shit on April 30, 2010, 04:30:25 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 30, 2010, 04:26:48 AM
Quote from: Sparkley Pink Shit on April 30, 2010, 04:26:07 AM
I AM ALSO HOPELESSLY ADDICTED TO GHOST HUNTERS
TV will rot your brain, and make you more Mormon. It's true.
At least I still get my magic underwear
(http://www.salamandersociety.com/romney/070116mitt_ann_romney_mormon_underwear.jpg)
Those are modern magic panties. The old magic panties were one-piece and had BUTTONS.
At least it's not as bad as the people who only have sex through a hole in the sheet. Or as good... depending.
MMM MAGIC UNDIES FEEL SO GOOD
Ooh, I just remembered a good one!
From ages 12-14 I wore nothing but black.
The first album I bought with my own hard-earned money was from No Limit Records.
So were several that followed.
MY HEART RATE SHOOTS UP TO 122 AFTER JUST A RUN AROUND THE BLOCK
I OWN A COPY OF HAPPY 2B HARDCORE CHAPTER 4...AND I STILL ENJOY LISTENING TO IT.
I KEEP MAJOR SECRETS FROM PEOPLE I AM SUPPOSEDLY CLOSE TO
LAST NIGHT I DISCOVERED THAT AROUND 2AM AFTER A TEN HOUR DAY I START BITCHING ABOUT MY DAY IN THE FORM OF BLACK GOSPEL CHOIR.
Quote from: Sigmatic on April 30, 2010, 05:16:48 PM
LAST NIGHT I DISCOVERED THAT AROUND 2AM AFTER A TEN HOUR DAY I START BITCHING ABOUT MY DAY IN THE FORM OF BLACK GOSPEL CHOIR.
This must have been epic.
I can't actually remember details, but it seemed funny at the time. :lol:
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on April 30, 2010, 04:36:54 AM
Quote from: Sparkley Pink Shit on April 30, 2010, 04:30:25 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 30, 2010, 04:26:48 AM
Quote from: Sparkley Pink Shit on April 30, 2010, 04:26:07 AM
I AM ALSO HOPELESSLY ADDICTED TO GHOST HUNTERS
TV will rot your brain, and make you more Mormon. It's true.
At least I still get my magic underwear
(http://www.salamandersociety.com/romney/070116mitt_ann_romney_mormon_underwear.jpg)
Those are modern magic panties. The old magic panties were one-piece and had BUTTONS.
At least it's not as bad as the people who only have sex through a hole in the sheet. Or as good... depending.
Say what?
And there is my shame, I am sadly undereducated in the ways of the world and ummmm don't know shit about stuff like this....
Quote from: Khara on April 30, 2010, 09:34:51 PM
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on April 30, 2010, 04:36:54 AM
Quote from: Sparkley Pink Shit on April 30, 2010, 04:30:25 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 30, 2010, 04:26:48 AM
Quote from: Sparkley Pink Shit on April 30, 2010, 04:26:07 AM
I AM ALSO HOPELESSLY ADDICTED TO GHOST HUNTERS
TV will rot your brain, and make you more Mormon. It's true.
At least I still get my magic underwear
(http://www.salamandersociety.com/romney/070116mitt_ann_romney_mormon_underwear.jpg)
Those are modern magic panties. The old magic panties were one-piece and had BUTTONS.
At least it's not as bad as the people who only have sex through a hole in the sheet. Or as good... depending.
Say what?
And there is my shame, I am sadly undereducated in the ways of the world and ummmm don't know shit about stuff like this....
Ultra-Orthodox Jews.
90% of the time it annoys me when my children talk to me.
Whoo! I'm right there with you.
I distinctly remember there was something about a discordian parenting book. That sounds like fun.
I joke about my kids all the time in a way that does not get me/them invited to many playdates.
Hahaha! Yeah.
I sorta shelved the Discordian parenting book due to divorce and not having enough free time. At some point, I will probably pick it up again.
Sometimes I feel like a bad parent, but most of the time when they talk it's about something insanely dull like a game or TV or something funny that happened at school that actually isn't funny at all, or asking me for a snack. Plus they tag-team me, which means that if each of them comes up with something to talk to me about every fifteen minutes, I only get a five-minute break between each one. Drives me crazy. Especially when I'm trying to do ebay listings or write or do something that requires any concentration.
Quote from: Brotep on April 30, 2010, 11:56:42 PM
Quote from: Khara on April 30, 2010, 09:34:51 PM
Say what?
And there is my shame, I am sadly undereducated in the ways of the world and ummmm don't know shit about stuff like this....
Ultra-Orthodox Jews.
So goes the rumor, and I wouldn't be surprised if there's some weirdos out there who do fuck through a sheet. However, it's also suspected by some people that the "LOL Jews fuck through a sheet cos they're prudish" thing came about from people seeing the tallit katan (a poncho-type garment made from a rectangular sheet of cloth with a hole cut in for the wearer's head) hanging out to dry.
Quote from: Cainad on May 02, 2010, 06:47:58 PM
Quote from: Brotep on April 30, 2010, 11:56:42 PM
Quote from: Khara on April 30, 2010, 09:34:51 PM
Say what?
And there is my shame, I am sadly undereducated in the ways of the world and ummmm don't know shit about stuff like this....
Ultra-Orthodox Jews.
So goes the rumor, and I wouldn't be surprised if there's some weirdos out there who do fuck through a sheet. However, it's also suspected by some people that the "LOL Jews fuck through a sheet cos they're prudish" thing came about from people seeing the tallit katan (a poncho-type garment made from a rectangular sheet of cloth with a hole cut in for the wearer's head) hanging out to dry.
Hahaha, I have never heard a talit described as a poncho, but for the little one that makes sense.
Still, you would think the hole larger than necessary for intercourse.
To be fair, I don't have confirmation on that between-the-sheets rumor. However, you and I both know that in the Orthodox and Ultra-Orthodox community couples won't even touch when the wife is menstruating. Furthermore, there is a tradition (likely more with Hasidim than Orthodox Jews, as the former tend to be more superstitious) that the man's state of mind when he ejaculates plays a role in determining the nature of the child that will be conceived. So if a man's thoughts are on He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, the child will grow up to be pious, whereas if he is focused on carnal enjoyment, the child will grow up to be lecherous and wicked. Given that and the tendency of "building a fence" around things ("building a fence around the Torah" is the usual phrase, but typically a fence is built around the first fence), the sheet bit does not sound so farfetched, at least among Hasidic Jewry.
I HAVE DERAILED THE SHAME THREAD :x
Quote from: BADGE OF HONOR on April 30, 2010, 07:45:30 AM
I OWN A COPY OF HAPPY 2B HARDCORE CHAPTER 4...AND I STILL ENJOY LISTENING TO IT.
I LIVE NEXT DOOR TO BADGE. :lulz:
Quote from: -Kel- on May 02, 2010, 07:32:26 PM
Quote from: BADGE OF HONOR on April 30, 2010, 07:45:30 AM
I OWN A COPY OF HAPPY 2B HARDCORE CHAPTER 4...AND I STILL ENJOY LISTENING TO IT.
I LIVE NEXT DOOR TO BADGE. :lulz:
One of these days you're gonna hear me listening to it.
Quote from: Cainad on May 02, 2010, 06:47:58 PM
Quote from: Brotep on April 30, 2010, 11:56:42 PM
Quote from: Khara on April 30, 2010, 09:34:51 PM
Say what?
And there is my shame, I am sadly undereducated in the ways of the world and ummmm don't know shit about stuff like this....
Ultra-Orthodox Jews.
So goes the rumor, and I wouldn't be surprised if there's some weirdos out there who do fuck through a sheet. However, it's also suspected by some people that the "LOL Jews fuck through a sheet cos they're prudish" thing came about from people seeing the tallit katan (a poncho-type garment made from a rectangular sheet of cloth with a hole cut in for the wearer's head) hanging out to dry.
My best friend was raised Orthodox, and I had never heard this practice ascribed to Jews; in fact, I've gotten the strong impression that Orthodox Jews are very sex-positive. (This is the friend who is relieved that her parents are merely not coming to her wedding, and not disowning her for marrying a Gentile. Not fucking kidding.) In Judaism, sex is a wife's right; a husband has an obligation to provide sex at least every other day, and to watch his wife for signs that she might want sex, and offer it so that she never has to ask for it.
Some Fundamentalist Mormons do the fucking through a sheet thing though. They also do a lot of other really fucking weird shit.
I have heard the rumor plenty of times, from members of various Jewish movements.
What you say is true: it is a husband's obligation by Jewish law to satisfy his wife sexually, in the way you describe.
However, Ultra-Orthodox is different from Orthodox. Among the ranks of the Ultra-Orthodox are the Hasidim, who carry quite a bit of folk religion over to the present day.
Quote from: Brotep's previous post ITTthere is a tradition (likely more with Hasidim than Orthodox Jews, as the former tend to be more superstitious) that the man's state of mind when he ejaculates plays a role in determining the nature of the child that will be conceived. So if a man's thoughts are on He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, the child will grow up to be pious, whereas if he is focused on carnal enjoyment, the child will grow up to be lecherous and wicked
It is thus not difficult to imagine that having sex through a sheet with a hole in it would be a way of helping one keep the focus on God.
Quote from: Brotep on May 02, 2010, 09:20:25 PM
I have heard the rumor plenty of times, from members of various Jewish movements.
What you say is true: it is a husband's obligation by Jewish law to satisfy his wife sexually, in the way you describe.
However, Ultra-Orthodox is different from Orthodox. Among the ranks of the Ultra-Orthodox are the Hasidim, who carry quite a bit of folk religion over to the present day.
Quote from: Brotep's previous post ITTthere is a tradition (likely more with Hasidim than Orthodox Jews, as the former tend to be more superstitious) that the man's state of mind when he ejaculates plays a role in determining the nature of the child that will be conceived. So if a man's thoughts are on He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, the child will grow up to be pious, whereas if he is focused on carnal enjoyment, the child will grow up to be lecherous and wicked
It is thus not difficult to imagine that having sex through a sheet with a hole in it would be a way of helping one keep the focus on God.
But that would be directly un-Mitsvah and violate the Law spelled out in the Torah, no matter how you slice it. Carnal enjoyment between a man and his wife is not forbidden, it is MANDATORY. I suspect that people with a Christian background tend to assume that "pious" equates to "asexual" in Judaism, but Judaism doesn't have that particular mentality. The idea that physical pleasure is "bad" simply isn't institutionalized in Judaism. That whole "worldly pleasures" thing was invented in Christianity.
Basically what I'm saying is that it's not difficult to imagine if you are thinking about it with a Christian-based worldview, make a bunch of assumptions, and don't know much about Judaism. It's incredibly difficult to imagine, otherwise, because basically you are saying that "ultra-Orthodox" Jews go directly against the Torah.
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on May 02, 2010, 09:41:28 PM
But that would be directly un-Mitsvah and violate the Law spelled out in the Torah, no matter how you slice it. Carnal enjoyment between a man and his wife is not forbidden, it is MANDATORY. I suspect that people with a Christian background tend to assume that "pious" equates to "asexual" in Judaism, but Judaism doesn't have that particular mentality. The idea that physical pleasure is "bad" simply isn't institutionalized in Judaism. That whole "worldly pleasures" thing was invented in Christianity.
Possibly. It was by no means the only religion to hold that view, however.
The next time I come across someone with a Christian background who makes such a claim, I will be sure to relay your message to them.
Furthermore, Judaism is not just
one thing. There are many different opinions and interpretations of the Law, and it is hardly apt to explain it as the opposite of Puritan anti-carnality.
QuoteBasically what I'm saying is that it's not difficult to imagine if you are thinking about it with a Christian-based worldview, make a bunch of assumptions, and don't know much about Judaism. It's incredibly difficult to imagine, otherwise, because basically you are saying that "ultra-Orthodox" Jews go directly against the Torah.
Oh, that is
so charitable, sweetheart. :lol:
If I remember the passage you allude to correctly, it doesn't actually say anything about pleasure (although that may well be present in commentary/opinions on it). It says that a husband is required to give his wife a certain amount of sex per week, depending on the constraints of his job. If he's a traveling merchant, he's not obligated quite so frequently as someone who stays local.
Also, that is
not what I am saying. What I am saying is that the contemplation of God (or HaShem, meaning "the name") takes precedence over other concerns
in certain views (such as that of a Lubavitcher* rabbi I know). It's not that you're not supposed to enjoy sex, it's just that you're supposed to keep the big G in your heart. Not having the proper kavanah (intention) is a big no-no.
*for those who might have a "Christian background", please note that Lubavitch is a branch of Hasidism**, named for the town of its origin
**for those who might have a "Christian background" and not know anything about Judaism and try to understand it with a Christian-based worldview and make a bunch of assumptions, please note that Hasidism is a Jewish movement which had its origins among the poor and uneducated and incorporates a great deal of folk religion, as well as a distrust of secular learning. In fact, the legendary founder of Hasidism, the Baal Shem Tov, was a Baal Shem (master of names), a faith healer of sorts.
Thanks for schooling me on how Jews really do have sex through a hole in a sheet. :lulz:
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on May 02, 2010, 11:08:39 PM
Thanks for schooling me on how Jews really do have sex through a hole in a sheet. :lulz:
:crankey: If you saw my last girlfriend, you'd understand.
AT TIMES I FIND IT VERY DIFFICULT NOT TO GIVE IN TO THE RED MIST, AND PERFORM ACTS OF GLEEFUL VIOLENCE ON SOME STUPID SHITBOY, WITH LAUGHING, JOYOUS ABANDON.
FOR THE LAST 18 YEARS, INSTEAD OF ACTING OUT, AND THEN REGRETTING IT, I NOW INDULGE MYSELF IN HUNTING, DISMEMBERMENT AND TORTURE FANTASIES, WHERE I HUNT A MOTHERFUCKER DOWN, TIE THEM UP, THEN SLOWLY CUT BITS OFF, WHILST EXPLAINING IN DETAIL WHY I AM DOING IT, HOW THEY COULD HAVE AVOIDED THIS, AND THEN THROWING WHAT'S LEFT TO MY SPECIALLY TRAINED ATTACK BEAR-CROCODILES, OR MY FLYING PIT-FERRETS.
(They're MY fantasies, if I want flying attack ferrets, then I shall have them)
IN THIS WAY, I HAVE NOT COMMITTED AN SINGLE ACT OF STUPID OR UN-NECESSARY VIOLENCE FOR NEARLY 20 YEARS. SO, YES, I STILL HAVE A SADISTIC EVIL TEMPERED AND CRUEL BLOODTHIRSTY BEAST INSIDE ME, BUT I HAVE LEARNED THAT WITH A SADISTIC EVIL TEMPERED AND CRUEL BLOODTHIRSTY BEAST AND A PROPENSITY FOR VIOLENCE, COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY, DIRE CONSEQUENCES, AND REGRETTABLE INCIDENTS.
SO NOW AI IS A GOOD BEASTY, WHAT JUST KNOW'S THAT TO BE BAD, IS BAD FOR ME, AND EVERYONE AROUND ME. AN AI DO SO WANT TO BE GOOD.
AT TIMES I FIND IT VERY DIFFICULT NOT TO GIVE IN TO THE RED MIST, AND PERFORM ACTS OF GLEEFUL VIOLENCE ON SOME STUPID SHITBOY, WITH LAUGHING, JOYOUS ABANDON.
FOR THE LAST 18 YEARS, INSTEAD OF ACTING OUT, AND THEN REGRETTING IT, I NOW INDULGE MYSELF IN HUNTING, DISMEMBERMENT AND TORTURE FANTASIES, WHERE I HUNT A MOTHERFUCKER DOWN, TIE THEM UP, THEN SLOWLY CUT BITS OFF, WHILST EXPLAINING IN DETAIL WHY I AM DOING IT, HOW THEY COULD HAVE AVOIDED THIS, AND THEN THROWING WHAT'S LEFT TO MY SPECIALLY TRAINED ATTACK BEAR-CROCODILES, OR MY FLYING PIT-FERRETS.
(They're MY fantasies, if I want flying attack ferrets, then I shall have them)
IN THIS WAY, I HAVE NOT COMMITTED AN SINGLE ACT OF STUPID OR UN-NECESSARY VIOLENCE FOR NEARLY 20 YEARS. SO, YES, I STILL HAVE A SADISTIC EVIL TEMPERED AND CRUEL BLOODTHIRSTY BEAST INSIDE ME, BUT I HAVE LEARNED THAT WITH A SADISTIC EVIL TEMPERED AND CRUEL BLOODTHIRSTY BEAST AND A PROPENSITY FOR VIOLENCE, COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY, DIRE CONSEQUENCES, AND REGRETTABLE INCIDENTS.
SO NOW AI IS A GOOD BEASTY, WHAT JUST KNOW'S THAT TO BE BAD, IS BAD FOR ME, AND EVERYONE AROUND ME. AN AI DO SO WANT TO BE GOOD.
OK Bad Beast scares me a little. :cry:
I AM AN UNEMPLOYED DRUNK.
I AM UNEMPLOYABLE ABUSER OF SUBSTANCES. I AM ALSO LAZY. I AM SELF INDULGENT, HEDONISTIC, AND HAVE NO RESPECT FOR ANY AUTHORITY FIGURE. I HAVE BEEN BAD, AND HAVE A QUITE DIVERSE CRIMINAL RECORD.
I DO NOT FEEL SHAME FOR THIS THOUGH.
I FEEL SHAME FOR NOT TAKING OPPORTUNITIES TO DO ANY BETTER, AND FOR BEING A UNPLEASANT AND VIOLENT DRUNK AT VARIOUS POINTS IN MY PAST. I COULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER FATHER, A BETTER SON, PARTNER, AND BROTHER. ALL THESE THINGS GIVE ME TWINGES OF SHAME.
BUT I AM THE BEST MAN THAT I CAN BE, FOR ALL THAT.
I HAVE LEARNED FROM MY MISTAKES, AND MAKE LESS MISTAKES NOW. BUT I FEEL SHAME THAT I DID NOT LEARN FROM THEM MUCH EARLIER, BECAUSE I COULD HAVE SAVED A LOT OF GRIEF ALL ROUND.
BUT HEY, I DON'T LOSE ANY SLEEP OVER ANY OF IT.
OF THE MANY BOOKS I HAVE STARTED TO READ THESE LAST SEVERAL MONTHS, I HAVEN'T FINISHED ONE SINCE NOVEMBER.
Quote from: Khara on May 03, 2010, 03:51:35 PM
OK Bad Beast scares me a little. :cry:
I kinda like him. It's like he sees inside my soul. :)
Quote from: Pariah on May 03, 2010, 04:27:14 PM
OF THE MANY BOOKS I HAVE STARTED TO READ THESE LAST SEVERAL MONTHS, I HAVEN'T FINISHED ONE SINCE NOVEMBER.
Goddamn, me too! I have about 40 books on my bedside table, all of which I have started and many of which I am halfway or more through. I don't know why I can't finish them.
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on May 03, 2010, 04:46:08 PM
Quote from: Khara on May 03, 2010, 03:51:35 PM
OK Bad Beast scares me a little. :cry:
I kinda like him. It's like he sees inside my soul. :)
I think my hate has withered and died.
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on May 03, 2010, 04:47:36 PM
Quote from: Pariah on May 03, 2010, 04:27:14 PM
OF THE MANY BOOKS I HAVE STARTED TO READ THESE LAST SEVERAL MONTHS, I HAVEN'T FINISHED ONE SINCE NOVEMBER.
Goddamn, me too! I have about 40 books on my bedside table, all of which I have started and many of which I am halfway or more through. I don't know why I can't finish them.
Glad to hear I'm not the only one.
Though this may change soon. I've been working on one book for atleast a month at this point at a glacial pace. It's about 900 pages but I still haven't lost interest yet.
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on May 03, 2010, 04:46:08 PM
Quote from: Khara on May 03, 2010, 03:51:35 PM
OK Bad Beast scares me a little. :cry:
I kinda like him. It's like he sees inside my soul. :)
Ok Bad Beast AND Nigel scare me a little :lulz:
Nonsense. Nigel is just a cute cuddly chuckie doll.
Quote from: Khara on May 03, 2010, 05:15:37 PM
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on May 03, 2010, 04:46:08 PM
Quote from: Khara on May 03, 2010, 03:51:35 PM
OK Bad Beast scares me a little. :cry:
I kinda like him. It's like he sees inside my soul. :)
Ok Bad Beast AND Nigel scare me a little :lulz:
And inside this brusque, spiky facade, I'm just a big gooey dollop of warm fuzzys.
Quote from: Khara on May 03, 2010, 03:51:35 PM
OK Bad Beast scares me a little. :cry:
Sounds like what I do when I'm having a hard time keeping my rage in check. :sad:
I WAS NOT PUNK ROCK ENOUGH
I AVOID GETTING INVOLVED IN NICE THINGS BECAUSE I FEAR THEY WILL CAUSE ME MORE STRESS THAN PLEASURE. THIS CAUSES ME TO MISS MANY NICE THINGS THAT I OTHERWISE WOULD DO.
Quote from: Richter on May 04, 2010, 01:34:43 PM
I WAS NOT PUNK ROCK ENOUGH
Not even Punk Rock was Punk Rock enough!
Quote from: BadBeast on May 04, 2010, 02:12:51 PM
Quote from: Richter on May 04, 2010, 01:34:43 PM
I WAS NOT PUNK ROCK ENOUGH
Not even Punk Rock was Punk Rock enough!
To my shame, once more, I was wrong. This lot ARE Punk enough.
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=anti+nowhere+league+so+what&aq=1
I'M TOO DUMB TO TAKE A SICK DAY WHEN SICK
Quote from: Richter on May 05, 2010, 03:43:47 PM
I'M TOO DUMB TO TAKE A SICK DAY WHEN SICK
You can easily make up for that, by taking two sickys, when you are feeling too fine to go into work, for every one, where you feel too shitty to go in, but still do.
Quote from: Richter on May 05, 2010, 03:43:47 PM
I'M TOO DUMB TO TAKE A SICK DAY WHEN SICK
:crankey:
HAST THOU FORGOTTEN "BOB"?
I FEEL LIKE A TRAIN WRECK AT 5 AM REGARDLESS. I NEED TO RECALIBRATE THE SICK - O -METER.
Quote from: Richter on May 05, 2010, 05:44:48 PM
I FEEL LIKE A TRAIN WRECK AT 5 AM REGARDLESS. I NEED TO RECALIBRATE THE SICK - O -METER.
PUKE TEST YOURSELF.
Quote from: BadBeast on May 05, 2010, 05:40:53 PM
Quote from: Richter on May 05, 2010, 03:43:47 PM
I'M TOO DUMB TO TAKE A SICK DAY WHEN SICK
You can easily make up for that, by taking two sickys, when you are feeling too fine to go into work, for every one, where you feel too shitty to go in, but still do.
Plus, you don't want to go in when you're feeling good, because those bastards are probably all
infectious now!
:lol:
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 05, 2010, 05:45:19 PM
Quote from: Richter on May 05, 2010, 05:44:48 PM
I FEEL LIKE A TRAIN WRECK AT 5 AM REGARDLESS. I NEED TO RECALIBRATE THE SICK - O -METER.
PUKE TEST YOURSELF.
3 FT. HORIZONTAL. CLEARED THE BOOTS. NO NOSE EXPLUSION, ONLY SIDESTREAM CONTAMINATION TO BEARD.
(WOO PUNK ROCK!)
Quote from: Richter on May 05, 2010, 05:58:25 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 05, 2010, 05:45:19 PM
Quote from: Richter on May 05, 2010, 05:44:48 PM
I FEEL LIKE A TRAIN WRECK AT 5 AM REGARDLESS. I NEED TO RECALIBRATE THE SICK - O -METER.
PUKE TEST YOURSELF.
3 FT. HORIZONTAL. CLEARED THE BOOTS. NO NOSE EXPLUSION, ONLY SIDESTREAM CONTAMINATION TO BEARD.
(WOO PUNK ROCK!)
SOUNDS HEALTHY.
I dreamt that I worked in a Costco in which the Chinese were invading Korea, and then I noticed that a bunch of stuff had been relabeled, and woke myself up giggling at a camp stove that had been labeled "Nazi Glue Pen".
Quote from: Iptuous on May 05, 2010, 05:45:58 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on May 05, 2010, 05:40:53 PM
Quote from: Richter on May 05, 2010, 03:43:47 PM
I'M TOO DUMB TO TAKE A SICK DAY WHEN SICK
You can easily make up for that, by taking two sickys, when you are feeling too fine to go into work, for every one, where you feel too shitty to go in, but still do.
Plus, you don't want to go in when you're feeling good, because those bastards are probably all infectious now!
:lol:
Solution: go to work only when sick. If you have too few sick days on which to be healthy, bring in booze to counter it.
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on May 05, 2010, 07:02:01 PM
I dreamt that I worked in a Costco in which the Chinese were invading Korea, and then I noticed that a bunch of stuff had been relabeled, and woke myself up giggling at a camp stove that had been labeled "Nazi Glue Pen".
Hahahaa, damn! I envy people who get awesome weird dreams.
Quote from: Sigmatic on May 05, 2010, 09:58:22 PM
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on May 05, 2010, 07:02:01 PM
I dreamt that I worked in a Costco in which the Chinese were invading Korea, and then I noticed that a bunch of stuff had been relabeled, and woke myself up giggling at a camp stove that had been labeled "Nazi Glue Pen".
Hahahaa, damn! I envy people who get awesome weird dreams.
Sometimes my dreams are extremely boring and lifelike and I can't tell them apart from real life, but sometimes they are really surreal and out there.
The Chinese invasion was really gruesome, though. They decimated and burned a lovely village in the Housewares section, but luckily most of the inhabitants were able to flee to Yard & Garden.
Wow.
:lol::hi5::x
I HAVE ENACTED FORM/CONTENT DISAGREEMENT
Quote from: Richter on May 05, 2010, 05:58:25 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 05, 2010, 05:45:19 PM
Quote from: Richter on May 05, 2010, 05:44:48 PM
I FEEL LIKE A TRAIN WRECK AT 5 AM REGARDLESS. I NEED TO RECALIBRATE THE SICK - O -METER.
PUKE TEST YOURSELF.
3 FT. HORIZONTAL. CLEARED THE BOOTS. NO NOSE EXPLUSION, ONLY SIDESTREAM CONTAMINATION TO BEARD.
(WOO PUNK ROCK!)
Oh yeah, that reminds me.
I HAVE NOT PUKED IN OVER TEN YEARS.
I am ashamed of my iron stomach.
Quote from: E. A. Waterhaus II on May 05, 2010, 09:52:36 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on May 05, 2010, 05:45:58 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on May 05, 2010, 05:40:53 PM
Quote from: Richter on May 05, 2010, 03:43:47 PM
I'M TOO DUMB TO TAKE A SICK DAY WHEN SICK
You can easily make up for that, by taking two sickys, when you are feeling too fine to go into work, for every one, where you feel too shitty to go in, but still do.
Plus, you don't want to go in when you're feeling good, because those bastards are probably all infectious now!
:lol:
Solution: go to work only when sick. If you have too few sick days on which to be healthy, bring in booze to counter it.
Or even better, go to work, only when drunk. This makes it easier to do, day after day, as much of the tedium gets forgotten, or lost in a haze of alcoholic blackouts.
Quote from: BadBeast on May 06, 2010, 03:06:22 PM
Quote from: E. A. Waterhaus II on May 05, 2010, 09:52:36 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on May 05, 2010, 05:45:58 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on May 05, 2010, 05:40:53 PM
Quote from: Richter on May 05, 2010, 03:43:47 PM
I'M TOO DUMB TO TAKE A SICK DAY WHEN SICK
You can easily make up for that, by taking two sickys, when you are feeling too fine to go into work, for every one, where you feel too shitty to go in, but still do.
Plus, you don't want to go in when you're feeling good, because those bastards are probably all infectious now!
:lol:
Solution: go to work only when sick. If you have too few sick days on which to be healthy, bring in booze to counter it.
Or even better, go to work, only when drunk. This makes it easier to do, day after day, as much of the tedium gets forgotten, or lost in a haze of alcoholic blackouts.
Going to work drunk would be letting the fuckers get off EASY. We cannot have that. There are standards to consider.
Quote from: Richter on May 06, 2010, 03:18:58 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on May 06, 2010, 03:06:22 PM
Quote from: E. A. Waterhaus II on May 05, 2010, 09:52:36 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on May 05, 2010, 05:45:58 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on May 05, 2010, 05:40:53 PM
Quote from: Richter on May 05, 2010, 03:43:47 PM
I'M TOO DUMB TO TAKE A SICK DAY WHEN SICK
You can easily make up for that, by taking two sickys, when you are feeling too fine to go into work, for every one, where you feel too shitty to go in, but still do.
True enough. My habit of letting those standards slip, could very well be why I am "between jobs" at the moment.
Plus, you don't want to go in when you're feeling good, because those bastards are probably all infectious now!
:lol:
Solution: go to work only when sick. If you have too few sick days on which to be healthy, bring in booze to counter it.
Or even better, go to work, only when drunk. This makes it easier to do, day after day, as much of the tedium gets forgotten, or lost in a haze of alcoholic blackouts.
Going to work drunk would be letting the fuckers get off EASY. We cannot have that. There are standards to consider.
Maybe losing sight of those standards, is why I find myself "between jobs" at the moment.
Must remember to drink moar!
I STOPPED DRINKING AND REALIZED IT HAD NO EFFECT ON HOW OFTEN I WAS OFF MY ROCKER!
Quote from: Richter on May 06, 2010, 03:45:52 PM
I STOPPED DRINKING AND REALIZED IT HAD NO EFFECT ON HOW OFTEN I WAS OFF MY ROCKER!
Now that really is fucking scary. (For you) Rawk on!
I drank so much on my birthday and surrounding days that I failed to lose two pounds this week. :sad:
I ATE ALL THE ICE CREAM IN THE FREEZER! :cry:
But it was damn good!!! :lulz:
I PURPOSEFULLY THE WHOLE THING...IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!!
I didn't learn to tie my shoes until I was like 12
I only wore sweat pants until about age 15
I didn't learn to drive a car until I was like 24
I'm kind of a late bloomer, I guess
I went to a Winger concert.
Quote from: Mangrove on May 06, 2010, 08:25:16 PM
I went to a Winger concert.
And now you're dead.
Kids, don't Winger. Not even once.
Not even once?!
But I accidentally the whole Kip! Is that bad?
Quote from: Mangrove on May 06, 2010, 08:25:16 PM
I went to a Winger concert.
I went to a Dokken concert when Reb Beach was playing with them. Does that count?
Also, Slaughter was on that bill. Mark Slaughter ran around in the crowd during Up All Night and I literally rubbed elbows with him. (It was crowded)
I am hopelessly addicted to Ghost Hunters.
Quote from: Hawk on May 09, 2010, 06:11:19 PM
I am hopelessly addicted to Ghost Hunters.
Aw, Mate, that must be the worst, most abject addiction I can ever remember hearing. It's so Dread, and brutal, there isn't even a 12 Step Program for it. And an addict's hungry heart, is a broad target for the Devil's arrows.
The possible implications are truly bleak. What if it starts to catch on? Becomes a faddy new trend, like Meow Cat, or Twatter? What about the all the children who look to us for guidance? This calls for desperate measures.
I suggest getting a shitload of Crack, or even Meth, as soon as possible, see if you can gradually wean yourself off this most insidious and all consuming bilge.
"It ain't Crack, Baby, jus' coke, you can smoke!"
I too am prone to lapses of substance use/abuse. And the deep groove of self indulgence, runs through my life like an endless stretch of fresh asphalt road.
I AM DEEPLY AMUSED BY JUST ABOUT EVERY PUN IN THIS SHITHOLE, TO THE POINT WHERE MY POST COUNT WOULD DOUBLE OVERNIGHT IF I REPLIED WITH LULZ TO EACH ONE I ENJOYED.
I HAVE NO PROBLEM LETTING PEOPLE BELIEVE LIES ABOUT ME BECAUSE I KNOW I CAN USE ANY MISCONCEPTION TO MY ADVANTAGE!
BECAUSE I KNOW THAT MY MOM IS WAITING TO BAIT ME INTO CONFLICT WHEN I STRIKE UP A CONVERSATION WITH HER, I AM USING PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE SILENCE.
Quote from: Brotep on May 11, 2010, 12:51:20 AM
BECAUSE I KNOW THAT MY MOM IS WAITING TO BAIT ME INTO CONFLICT WHEN I STRIKE UP A CONVERSATION WITH HER, I AM USING PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE SILENCE.
I bet she would call it "Sulking".
I IMAGINE THAT MY GF DIES SOMEHOW AND THEN I IMAGINE WHAT ALL OF MY POSSIBLE REACTIONS TO IT COULD BE AND WHAT SORT OF THINGS OR PEOPLE I WOULD DO AFTERWARDS
(i love her, i don't want her to die...)
Quote from: 1SwellFOop on May 14, 2010, 08:26:58 PM
I IMAGINE THAT MY GF DIES SOMEHOW AND THEN I IMAGINE WHAT ALL OF MY POSSIBLE REACTIONS TO IT COULD BE AND WHAT SORT OF THINGS OR PEOPLE I WOULD DO AFTERWARDS
(i love her, i don't want her to die...)
I may be wrong, but I 'm sensing a silent "but" on the end of this. I fantasise about killing people quite often, it's a very common fantasy.
(Well, at least it is for me)
Well...
Sometimes it's pleasing to imagine things on fire. Well, nouns actually. People and places also feature in these daydreams too.
But if it comes down to it, I imagine what I'd do if people/things were trying to kill me far more often.
Quote from: Sigmatic on May 14, 2010, 08:57:29 PM
Well...
Sometimes it's pleasing to imagine things on fire. Well, nouns actually. People and places also feature in these daydreams too.
But if it comes down to it, I imagine what I'd do if people/things were trying to kill me far more often.
That, my friend, is a
valuable lifeskill. Putting yourself in an imaginary scenario, and seeing how you think you'd react. Admittedly, we don't always act in the way we did in the fantasy, but most of the time, we do quite well to avoid those scenarios. And that's a good thing too. It means we live longer.
It's a version of Zimbardo's "heroic imagination". If you imagine yourself behaving a certain way, you become it, eventually.
Dunno about you guys, but I use this thread as a therapeutic tool to say things I'm ashamed of that I would only say to 2 people, both of whom live on another continent.
I'm ashamed to be very strongly attracted to another girl, when I've based my life around the love of another. Mostly I'm mad at myself and at this passion(passion in the ancient greek sense, of something to which you are passive, to which you are submitted), but there's definitely shame in there.
I'm ashamed to say that I speak French fluently, even though I do. I feel like I'm going to sound like such an asshole, so I always say that I make alot of mistakes.
I'm to ashamed to admit to my girlfriend or anyone else really how much I play videogames, which is around 1 hour a day nowadays. I really feel like this is a weakness, and I say that I just spent the hour on the internet. Sometimes I say I played a game, but no more than once or twice a week.
I don't know at all why I'm ashamed, ever. I really have a hard time understanding it, because on a theoretical level, on which I often think, I don't think that I could ever be ashamed of anything. I guess the gap between what I do, and what I think others should expect of me is part of it.
I'm ashamed of my English. The last paragraph was conceived in French and poorly translated. I can't do this type of thinking in English.
SHAME. MY WIFE AND I WERE ARGUING SO I POURED HER MORE WINE, AND THEN MORE WINE, BECAUSE I KNEW SHE WOULD FALL ASLEEP AND STOP BEING MAD AT ME.
Quote from: LMNO on May 15, 2010, 03:50:30 AM
SHAME. MY WIFE AND I WERE ARGUING SO I POURED HER MORE WINE, AND THEN MORE WINE, BECAUSE I KNEW SHE WOULD FALL ASLEEP AND STOP BEING MAD AT ME.
Why be ashamed of a plan falling into place?
Because it's chemical manipulation of someone you love, dumbass.
I got drunk and fried my brother's goldfish alive, in front of him, and dared him to eat it.
Quote from: NWC on May 14, 2010, 11:05:49 PM
I don't know at all why I'm ashamed, ever. I really have a hard time understanding it, because on a theoretical level, on which I often think, I don't think that I could ever be ashamed of anything. I guess the gap between what I do, and what I think others should expect of me is part of it.
I'm ashamed of my English. The last paragraph was conceived in French and poorly translated. I can't do this type of thinking in English.
That's interesting, I have a similar intuition about shame but it resists being transformed into words, let alone another language.
And I can't detect anything wrong with your English. For the longest time I thought you were native to the US.
Quote from: LMNO on May 15, 2010, 04:01:03 AM
Because it's chemical manipulation of someone you love, dumbass.
Oh, okay you were serious. I thought this whole thread was a bit tongue-in-cheek. Well my apologies. But dumbass, really, for misconstruing your post in the context of the rest of this thread? :roll:
LOGIC WOULD PRESUME I AM ALSO DRINKING.
Call me an irredeemable rat bastard, but I'm saving that trick in case i need it.
Quote from: Ne+@uNGr0+ on May 15, 2010, 04:07:34 AM
Quote from: NWC on May 14, 2010, 11:05:49 PM
I don't know at all why I'm ashamed, ever. I really have a hard time understanding it, because on a theoretical level, on which I often think, I don't think that I could ever be ashamed of anything. I guess the gap between what I do, and what I think others should expect of me is part of it.
I'm ashamed of my English. The last paragraph was conceived in French and poorly translated. I can't do this type of thinking in English.
That's interesting, I have a similar intuition about shame but it resists being transformed into words, let alone another language.
And I can't detect anything wrong with your English. For the longest time I thought you were native to the US.
I'm from the states, but any thinking that involves a philosophical concept I do in French, cos I study in French. I have an increasingly hard time formulating such ideas in English.
I'M ASHAMED WHEN I QUIT FACEBOOK FOR GOOD THEN FIND A DUMB FORUM AND POST ON IT TO FILL THE VOID IN MY LIFE WHILE I EAT THIS GYRO.
Hee hee hee. When you hit a thousand posts, I'm bumping this thread.
I'M ASHAMED THAT I'D RATHER STAY HOME AND ROLEPLAY ON THE COMPUTER FOR DAYS THAN GO OUTSIDE AND COMMUNICATE WITH MY SO-CALLED FRIENDS.
I'M ALSO ASHAMED THAT I LIKE ROLEPLAYING AS MALE CHARACTERS MORE THAN GIRLS.
Quote from: Abbess Jade on May 15, 2010, 08:56:49 PM
I'M ASHAMED THAT I'D RATHER STAY HOME AND ROLEPLAY ON THE COMPUTER FOR DAYS THAN GO OUTSIDE AND COMMUNICATE WITH MY SO-CALLED FRIENDS.
I'M ALSO ASHAMED THAT I LIKE ROLEPLAYING AS MALE CHARACTERS MORE THAN GIRLS.
In that case, I'm ashamed that I prefer playing games/roleplaying as female characters. Guess it works both ways.
EDIT: fuckin typos how do they work
I'M ASHAMED TO BE PART OF A SPECIES THAT WOULD RATHER GRIND FOR STATS IN THE ONINE GAME CHARACTERS THATN GO OUT AND LEARN THOSE SKILLS IRL.
I MAINLINE BUTTERSCOTCH TOPPING FROM THE BOTTLE THEN PUT IT BACK IN THE FRIDGE.
I COULDN'T FIND MY CAR KEYS SO I CALLED MY BOSS AND SAID I COULDN'T MAKE IT TO THE MEETING CUZ MY MONKEY WAS SICK.
Quote from: sucksauce on May 15, 2010, 08:35:23 PM
I'M ASHAMED WHEN I QUIT FACEBOOK FOR GOOD THEN FIND A DUMB FORUM AND POST ON IT TO FILL THE VOID IN MY LIFE WHILE I EAT THIS GYRO.
[/quote
I'M ASHAMED THAT YOU'RE ASHAMED OF ANYTHING WHILE EATING GYROS
FUCKING HELL I WANT TO BLOW OFF GOING TO WORK TODAY BECAUSE MY BOSS SAID IT WAS OKAY TO DO IT AND ALSO CUZ IM GONNA BE BABYSAT AT WORK ALL WEEK FUCK I AM ASHAMED OF MYSELF.
I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR TO DoD! :x MUST DO LAUNDRY!! :x :x WHY AM I SO VAIN?!
MY ATTENTION SPAN, EVEN IF I'M INTERESTED IN SOMETHING, IS A GRAND TOTAL OF FIVE MINUTES. I THEN GET BORED AND GO DO SOMETHING ELSE.
I am ashamed that in IRC, I explained to Regret what mung jumping is, in vivid detail.
I AM ASHAMED THAT I NEVER SEEM TO USE RIGHT-SHIFT, AND ALSO NEVER USE CAPSLOCK (IT IS A CONTROL KEY ON MY KEYBOARD). IT MAKES TYPING POSTS LIKE THIS A BIT ODD.
Quote from: vexati0n on May 24, 2010, 02:50:09 AM
I am ashamed that in IRC, I explained to Regret what mung jumping is, in vivid detail.
AH!!! I HAD FOOD IN MY MOUTH WHEN I GOOGLED THAT!!!!
:x :vom:
I DIDN'T GO TO DoD BECAUSE I'M EMBARRASSED OF MY CONDITION AND WAS SURE SOMEONE WOULD BE ABLE TO FIGURE IT OUT FROM THE WAY I WINCE.
I HAVE BEEN PUSHING THE REFRESH BUTTON FOR HOURS, EXPECTING SOMEONE TO SAY SOMETHING.
I DO NOT LEARN QUICKLY.
SHAAAAAAAAAAME!
I'm drinking hot cocoa instead of death coffee
4 SHAME!!!!
I just spent 20 minutes reading this whole thread.
People on the bus with me are looking at me oddly...
"Weeeeeee!!!!"
/
:mind ray:
:lulz:
I forgot about this
I ALLOWED SOME POOR SAP AT THE BAR LAST NIGHT TO TELL ME "NO, THANK YOU" WHEN I TOLD HIM I WAS GONNA PUT THE RAEP TO HIM.
SHAME SHAME OH THE TERRIBLE SHAME. :sad:
Quote from: Science me, babby on October 22, 2011, 12:24:51 AM
I ALLOWED SOME POOR SAP AT THE BAR LAST NIGHT TO TELL ME "NO, THANK YOU" WHEN I TOLD HIM I WAS GONNA PUT THE RAEP TO HIM.
SHAME SHAME OH THE TERRIBLE SHAME. :sad:
IF HE SAID "NO, THANK YOU," HE DID NOT DESERVE THE FREEKYRAEP.
Quote from: Luna on October 22, 2011, 12:39:18 AM
Quote from: Science me, babby on October 22, 2011, 12:24:51 AM
I ALLOWED SOME POOR SAP AT THE BAR LAST NIGHT TO TELL ME "NO, THANK YOU" WHEN I TOLD HIM I WAS GONNA PUT THE RAEP TO HIM.
SHAME SHAME OH THE TERRIBLE SHAME. :sad:
IF HE SAID "NO, THANK YOU," HE DID NOT DESERVE THE FREEKYRAEP.
IF HE'D SAID "YES PLEASE, YOU BAAAAD GRRL" IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN TEH PROPER RAEP THOUGH.
Quote from: Luna on October 22, 2011, 12:39:18 AM
Quote from: Science me, babby on October 22, 2011, 12:24:51 AM
I ALLOWED SOME POOR SAP AT THE BAR LAST NIGHT TO TELL ME "NO, THANK YOU" WHEN I TOLD HIM I WAS GONNA PUT THE RAEP TO HIM.
SHAME SHAME OH THE TERRIBLE SHAME. :sad:
IF HE SAID "NO, THANK YOU," HE DID NOT DESERVE THE FREEKYRAEP.
I THINK YOU MISINTERPRET HERE THE FACT THAT I NORMALLY DON'T GIVE THEM THE OPTION OF SAYING "NO." :(
I AM WEAK, NAKED AND ASHAMED.
TO MY SHAME, WHILST PERUSING THIS THREAD, I FOUND MYSELF USING THE DEVIL'S IPAD OF VISUALISATION, THAT I LEARNED FROM THE FILTHY WICCANS, I AM STANDING OVER THE WEAK, NAKED AND SHAMED FREEKY.
I LISTEN SCORNFULLY TO HER REMORSEFUL AND IMPASSIONED PLEAS FOR CLEMENCY, AND FEEL MYSELF BECOME CURIOUSLY AROUSED. "BAD GIRL IS BAD!" I SAY, WITH MORE CONVICTION THAN I FEEL.
I GLANCED AROUND PENSIVELY FEARING THE FABLED MEATHAMMER, BUT SEEING NOTHING BUT FREEKY'S QUIVERING, SOBBING, NAKED AND IRRESISTIBLE FLESH BEFORE ME, I FORGOT MYSELF MOMENTARILY, AND PUT THE GALLOPING RAEPS TO HER! OH LORDY! I KNOW I SHOULDN'T HAVE, BUT HEY. . . . FIRST I WAS LIKE, :eek: THEN I WAS LIKE, :evil: AND THEN I WAS LIKE, :penis:
BLESS THOSE WICCANS FOR THEIR TRICKSY MAGHDJICKS, THE FREEKY HAS STOPPED HER SOBBING, AND IS NOW SQUEAKING LIKE A BABY OTTER. :postpics: THEN WITH AN MIGHTY GUTTERAL GROWL, SHE YELLS, YESSS! I HAVE AAAAABSOLUUUTION! SHE OPENS HER PRETTY BLUE EYES, SQUINTS AT ME, AND SOCKS ME ON THE JAW WITH A RIGHT CROSS THAT COULD FELL A RHINOCEROUS. :fuckoff:
I WOKE UP FREEZING, IN A DITCH FULL OF OFFAL OUTSIDE THE BUTCHERS SHOP DRESSED IN NOTHING BUT A TUTU AND A PIRATES HAT. :cn:
DAMN THOSE SMELLY WICCANS FOR . . . . FOR EVERYTHING!
I MOST HUMBLY BEG THE FREEKY'S FORGIVENESS. I KNEW NOT HOW TO FIGHT THE SPELL THEY PLACED UPON ME. I BEHAVED DISGRACEFULLY, CONTROLLED BY I KNOW NOT WHOM, (POSSIBLY RAINBOW, FROM MW)
COMPELLED, LIKE SOME WITCH'S INCUBUS, CONJURED FROM THE PIT! THEN TOSSED ASIDE LIKE A BAG OF OLD CHITLINS. I FEEL SO STUPID AND USED! *SOBS* BWAAAAAH! :oops:
:pika:
(http://www.pitchvision.com/images/smiley/jawdrop.gif)
Once again, Badbeast wins the internets.
Quote from: Suu on October 23, 2011, 03:50:21 PM
Once again, Badbeast wins the internets.
:thanks:
I DON'T THINK THERE'S ENOUGH COCK IN THE WORLD TO MAKE ME HAPPY. I LOVE COCK SO MUCH, IF I WERE PRETTY ENOUGH, I'D TRY TO BE A PORN STAR.
ALSO, I LIST MYSELF AS BI ON OKCUPID BECAUSE I REALLY WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH WOMEN BUT THE FURTHEST I'VE GOTTEN IS MAKING OUT AND TOUCHING AND I'M NERVOUS ABOUT LICKING A VA JAY JAY AND I WONDER IF THAT MAKES ME A COUNTERFEIT BISEXUAL.
I'M AFRAID OF FAILING AT BEING AN EMT BECAUSE I'M SO SCATTER-BRAINED AND MIGHT FUCK UP A PATIENT OR BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT PEOPLE SO MUCH, I WON'T BE ABLE TO KEEP A GRIP ON MY EMOTIONS WHEN I SEE DEAD KIDS OR EVEN WORSE, I'LL BE TOO GROSSED OUT WHEN SOMEONE WHO SMELLS LIKE PEE VOMITS ON ME.
I USUALLY AVOID ACTUALLY HAVING TO EXAMINE ANY SHAME I MAY HAVE INADVERTENTLY MANAGED TO ACCRUE, BY HIDING BEHIND A SMARTARSED, SNARKY, AND SOMETIMES QUESTIONABLE SENSE OF HUMOUR. THING IS, IT WORKS WELL.
OR IT WORKS WELL WHEN THERE IS NO BIG SHAMELOAD. SO I HAVE TO BE A BIT CAREFUL. AND SOMETIMES I'M NOT.
NAVKAT, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE "PRETTY" TO BE A PORNSTAR.
AND IM HETERO, BUT STILL A BIT CAUTIOUS IF I'M GONNA BE BUMPING FACE WITH AN UNFAMILIER SAUSAGE WALLET. SOME LADIES HAS A FOO FOO THAT IS NOT NICE, CLOSE UP. THE FACT YOU IS BOVVERED BY THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU IS GONNA BE A RUBBISH LEZZA.
Sausage wallet.
Heh.
Yup.
:lulz:
I OFTEN AN ON THE JOHN WHEN IM ON THE PHONE OR TEXTING PEOPLE.
I HAVE BEEN CAUGHT SHOPLIFTING TWO TIMES. 9 YEARS APART, AND BOTH TIMES IT WAS CHEESE.
:judge: DON'T YOU DARE JUDGE ME!
I DON'T HAVE BIEBER FEVER BUT I AM STILL POSTING IN THIS BOARD. I FEEL SHAME!!
Quote from: BadBeast on October 23, 2011, 10:30:10 AM
--
I'M AFRAID FORGIVENESS IS NOT AN OPTION, NOT LEAST BECAUSE YOU ACTED BEYOND YOUR PLACE. THERE IS NO MAN, WOMAN, OR DEITY WHO MAY ATTEMPT TO TAME ME, AND THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE FINGERS TO TYPE AND A DICK TO PISS WITH SHOWS THAT I AM A MERCIFUL AND JUST FREEKY.
DON'T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN.
Quote from: BadBeast on October 24, 2011, 03:01:09 AM
I HAVE BEEN CAUGHT SHOPLIFTING TWO TIMES. 9 YEARS APART, AND BOTH TIMES IT WAS CHEESE.
:potd:
I HATE BEING PREGNANT. I am so ambivalent about this pregnancy, I have stopped thinking about it because I get too upset.
Quote from: navkat on October 23, 2011, 11:05:37 PM
I DON'T THINK THERE'S ENOUGH COCK IN THE WORLD TO MAKE ME HAPPY. I LOVE COCK SO MUCH, IF I WERE PRETTY ENOUGH, I'D TRY TO BE A PORN STAR.
ALSO, I LIST MYSELF AS BI ON OKCUPID BECAUSE I REALLY WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH WOMEN BUT THE FURTHEST I'VE GOTTEN IS MAKING OUT AND TOUCHING AND I'M NERVOUS ABOUT LICKING A VA JAY JAY AND I WONDER IF THAT MAKES ME A COUNTERFEIT BISEXUAL.
I'M AFRAID OF FAILING AT BEING AN EMT BECAUSE I'M SO SCATTER-BRAINED AND MIGHT FUCK UP A PATIENT OR BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT PEOPLE SO MUCH, I WON'T BE ABLE TO KEEP A GRIP ON MY EMOTIONS WHEN I SEE DEAD KIDS OR EVEN WORSE, I'LL BE TOO GROSSED OUT WHEN SOMEONE WHO SMELLS LIKE PEE VOMITS ON ME.
Most cooters are pretty pleasing and inoffensive, actually. Assuming they've been washed within 24 hours, expect a squishy slippery vaguely salty/tangy area. Smells surprisingly less pungent than most dicks... boys must have some kind of scent gland down there, because dicks have a very distinctive smell.
I have no shame.
Well, except maybe for that thing I do to hippies.
Quote from: Nigel on October 24, 2011, 05:32:02 PM
I have no shame.
Well, except maybe for that thing I do to hippies.
Well, yeah. There are entirely too many hippies walking around Portland with grossly distended mouths, adult diapers, and trusses. Something must be done.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 24, 2011, 07:33:33 PM
Quote from: Nigel on October 24, 2011, 05:32:02 PM
I have no shame.
Well, except maybe for that thing I do to hippies.
Well, yeah. There are entirely too many hippies walking around Portland with grossly distended mouths, adult diapers, and trusses. Something must be done.
:oops:
Quote from: Nigel on October 24, 2011, 08:59:05 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 24, 2011, 07:33:33 PM
Quote from: Nigel on October 24, 2011, 05:32:02 PM
I have no shame.
Well, except maybe for that thing I do to hippies.
Well, yeah. There are entirely too many hippies walking around Portland with grossly distended mouths, adult diapers, and trusses. Something must be done.
:oops:
SPECIFICALLY,
MORE MUST BE DONE.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 24, 2011, 09:01:25 PM
Quote from: Nigel on October 24, 2011, 08:59:05 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 24, 2011, 07:33:33 PM
Quote from: Nigel on October 24, 2011, 05:32:02 PM
I have no shame.
Well, except maybe for that thing I do to hippies.
Well, yeah. There are entirely too many hippies walking around Portland with grossly distended mouths, adult diapers, and trusses. Something must be done.
:oops:
SPECIFICALLY, MORE MUST BE DONE.
OH... OK, that, I can work with!
Quote from: Nigel on October 24, 2011, 09:02:42 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 24, 2011, 09:01:25 PM
Quote from: Nigel on October 24, 2011, 08:59:05 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 24, 2011, 07:33:33 PM
Quote from: Nigel on October 24, 2011, 05:32:02 PM
I have no shame.
Well, except maybe for that thing I do to hippies.
Well, yeah. There are entirely too many hippies walking around Portland with grossly distended mouths, adult diapers, and trusses. Something must be done.
:oops:
SPECIFICALLY, MORE MUST BE DONE.
OH... OK, that, I can work with!
You better. You just got "promoted" (see fuckers thread OP).
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 24, 2011, 09:04:35 PM
Quote from: Nigel on October 24, 2011, 09:02:42 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 24, 2011, 09:01:25 PM
Quote from: Nigel on October 24, 2011, 08:59:05 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 24, 2011, 07:33:33 PM
Quote from: Nigel on October 24, 2011, 05:32:02 PM
I have no shame.
Well, except maybe for that thing I do to hippies.
Well, yeah. There are entirely too many hippies walking around Portland with grossly distended mouths, adult diapers, and trusses. Something must be done.
:oops:
SPECIFICALLY, MORE MUST BE DONE.
OH... OK, that, I can work with!
You better. You just got "promoted" (see fuckers thread OP).
OFUK! :lulz:
IN PROCESS OF POOMPING, i MANAGED TO REBOUND A TAGNUT ONTO THE UPPER SEAT. I THEN HAD TO WIPE WHILE DOING AN AWKWARD STRADDLE ON ONE ASS CHEEK TO AVOID THE FECAL TRUANT, AND FURRIOUSLY CHECK MY HINDQUARTERS FOR ANY BESMIRCHMENT.
I RE-READ THREAD AND GOT TO DYSNOMIA AND DIDN'T KNOW WHO IT WAS THEN I REMEMBER IT WAS LIZZEH AND I MISS LIZZEH :cry: