This thread is so that I, The Good Reverend Roger, can help you with your relationship difficulties. Given my past, this may seem a little ridiculous, but keep two things in mind:
1. People go to Catholic priests for advice about their marriages all the time, and
2. I'm fucking Holy™, which means you do as I SAY, not as I DO. I think you'll find that looking on the lives of just about any Holy Personages™ is actually a horrorshow of bad mistakes, excessive drinking, etc. We aren't here to lead by example, we're here to tell you WHAT'S WHAT.
So line right up and tell me your horrible problems, and I will fix everything, if you follow my advice.
Oh, yes. I will fix everything.
Or Kill Me.
Dear Reverend,
How do I learn to read my wife's mind?
Thanks,
LMNO
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on November 16, 2011, 08:41:55 PM
Dear Reverend,
How do I learn to read my wife's mind?
Thanks,
LMNO
It's very simple, actually...You can't, as the text changes just as fast as you read it. Women's perogative, etc, etc.
Instead, you should simply realize that You Lost. Yep, you lost the fucking thing 3 months before the subject even came up, and all your struggling and arguing will do is get your blood all over the (hopefully metaphoric) walls. There is no exception, and having the facts on your side only makes things worse.
I'm not saying roll over and be a big pussy about everything, but know in advance that you're not going to "win", because the PRIZE for "winning" isn't really a "win" at all.
"HAW HAW! I SURE SHOWED HER. HEY, WHY ISN'T SHE LAUGHING?"
\
:mullet:
"Have fun with your hand tonight, dear. And for every other night until I forget this. Which will be approximately next never. Also, go tell someone else about your fascinating day. I'm going out with the girls."
\
:wave:
"...BUT I
WON."
\
:mullet:
Yeah, that's all ye know and all ye NEED know about what's going on in her head.
Dear Reverend,
I got drunk and accidentally with my best friend. What now?
Quote from: Nigel on November 16, 2011, 09:20:51 PM
Dear Reverend,
I got drunk and accidentally with my best friend. What now?
It's too early to tell. More data is required.
Accidentally again when you're sober and record the results.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 09:21:56 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 16, 2011, 09:20:51 PM
Dear Reverend,
I got drunk and accidentally with my best friend. What now?
It's too early to tell. More data is required.
Accidentally again when you're sober and record the results.
:lulz:
Complication: HE'S MARRIED. Yeah, she left him for another woman (this is about the fourth time that's happened) and they live in different houses, but married is married until the court says otherwise. Plus, this is about the fourth time this has happened, which means that he took her back the other three times.
Quote from: Nigel on November 16, 2011, 09:31:01 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 09:21:56 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 16, 2011, 09:20:51 PM
Dear Reverend,
I got drunk and accidentally with my best friend. What now?
It's too early to tell. More data is required.
Accidentally again when you're sober and record the results.
:lulz:
Complication: HE'S MARRIED. Yeah, she left him for another woman (this is about the fourth time that's happened) and they live in different houses, but married is married until the court says otherwise. Plus, this is about the fourth time this has happened, which means that he took her back the other three times.
Let's just look at that again: She left him for another woman. Again. So who fucking cares? He's not married, he's in a contractual nightmare. If he takes her back again, though, drive him out to the bridge and let Portland deal with him.
You two already put your feet in the sticky stuff. You may as well roll around in it for a while, and see if you like it.
To put it another way, since you did it drunk, you're going to be really, really uncomfortable about it. If you do it sober, you have no excuses to hide behind, and you'll just have to deal with it.
Dear Reverend,
I want to accidentally the crazy kid sits next to me in Math. What do?
Love, Freeky.
Dear Reverend,
What in the flaming FUCK was my NYEX thinking when he said that maybe, after two or three years of him rolling around with his disease-ridden slut, MAYBE he'd come back and we could try again?
Love,
Luna
Quote from: Luna on November 16, 2011, 09:52:58 PM
Dear Reverend,
What in the flaming FUCK was my NYEX thinking when he said that maybe, after two or three years of him rolling around with his disease-ridden slut, MAYBE he'd come back and we could try again?
Love,
Luna
He wasn't. "Thinking" is not a job prerequisite for self-centered assholes.
Quote from: Science me, babby on November 16, 2011, 09:47:39 PM
Dear Reverend,
I want to accidentally the crazy kid sits next to me in Math. What do?
Love, Freeky.
What do? No, what NOT do. Like tell him where you live.
Poomp on yourself if you must, just don't make me look at it.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 09:58:49 PM
Quote from: Science me, babby on November 16, 2011, 09:47:39 PM
Dear Reverend,
I want to accidentally the crazy kid sits next to me in Math. What do?
Love, Freeky.
What do? No, what NOT do. Like tell him where you live.
Poomp on yourself if you must, just don't make me look at it.
:( But i can change him!
:lulz: Can't even keep a straight face.
I don't know if for real questions are allowed but I want to meet more people and make larger my chances of meeting someone who fits my standards and yet isn't gay.
WHAT DO?
Dear TGRR,
Why do men think it's okay to lie?
No wait...why do I date men that think it's okay to lie?
No wait...
WHY DO I SUCK AT THIS, AND HOW CAN FIX?!
Quote from: Science me, babby on November 16, 2011, 10:10:01 PM
I don't know if for real questions are allowed but I want to meet more people and make larger my chances of meeting someone who fits my standards and yet isn't gay.
WHAT DO?
Socialize.
Dear Reverend,
I'm not pretty enough. My heart's too broken. I cry too much. I'm too outspoken.
WHAT DO?
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 09:34:24 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 16, 2011, 09:31:01 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 09:21:56 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 16, 2011, 09:20:51 PM
Dear Reverend,
I got drunk and accidentally with my best friend. What now?
It's too early to tell. More data is required.
Accidentally again when you're sober and record the results.
:lulz:
Complication: HE'S MARRIED. Yeah, she left him for another woman (this is about the fourth time that's happened) and they live in different houses, but married is married until the court says otherwise. Plus, this is about the fourth time this has happened, which means that he took her back the other three times.
Let's just look at that again: She left him for another woman. Again. So who fucking cares? He's not married, he's in a contractual nightmare. If he takes her back again, though, drive him out to the bridge and let Portland deal with him.
You two already put your feet in the sticky stuff. You may as well roll around in it for a while, and see if you like it.
To put it another way, since you did it drunk, you're going to be really, really uncomfortable about it. If you do it sober, you have no excuses to hide behind, and you'll just have to deal with it.
OK.
Will try again, and report results.
I am scared shitless.
Quote from: Beardman Meow on November 16, 2011, 10:22:18 PM
Dear Reverend,
I'm not pretty enough. My heart's too broken. I cry too much. I'm too outspoken.
WHAT DO?
Peas, everyone loves you.
(I am not the Reverend, but I just wanted to say that)
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on November 16, 2011, 10:11:59 PM
Quote from: Science me, babby on November 16, 2011, 10:10:01 PM
I don't know if for real questions are allowed but I want to meet more people and make larger my chances of meeting someone who fits my standards and yet isn't gay.
WHAT DO?
Socialize.
Eat shit and die, murderaper.
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on November 16, 2011, 10:11:59 PM
Quote from: Science me, babby on November 16, 2011, 10:10:01 PM
I don't know if for real questions are allowed but I want to meet more people and make larger my chances of meeting someone who fits my standards and yet isn't gay.
WHAT DO?
Socialize.
OH, I'M SORRY! I THOUGHT THIS WAS THE HOLY MAN'S™ ADVICE THREAD. I WAS NOT AWARE THAT IT HAD BEEN SOLD TO A FUCKED UP PERVERT. MY FUCKING BAD. WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?
Quote from: Nigel on November 16, 2011, 10:26:30 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 09:34:24 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 16, 2011, 09:31:01 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 09:21:56 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 16, 2011, 09:20:51 PM
Dear Reverend,
I got drunk and accidentally with my best friend. What now?
It's too early to tell. More data is required.
Accidentally again when you're sober and record the results.
:lulz:
Complication: HE'S MARRIED. Yeah, she left him for another woman (this is about the fourth time that's happened) and they live in different houses, but married is married until the court says otherwise. Plus, this is about the fourth time this has happened, which means that he took her back the other three times.
Let's just look at that again: She left him for another woman. Again. So who fucking cares? He's not married, he's in a contractual nightmare. If he takes her back again, though, drive him out to the bridge and let Portland deal with him.
You two already put your feet in the sticky stuff. You may as well roll around in it for a while, and see if you like it.
To put it another way, since you did it drunk, you're going to be really, really uncomfortable about it. If you do it sober, you have no excuses to hide behind, and you'll just have to deal with it.
OK.
Will try again, and report results.
I am scared shitless.
Be brave.
If he's a good friend, he won't be offended by, "that was something... You up for giving it another go?"
Quote from: Suu on November 16, 2011, 10:11:49 PM
Dear TGRR,
Why do men think it's okay to lie?
No wait...why do I date men that think it's okay to lie?
No wait...
WHY DO I SUCK AT THIS, AND HOW CAN FIX?!
Develop better taste in men. The things you go for are, apparently, predominately displayed in shitbags. Go for different things, or just learn to accept it and wallow in your inner guido.
Quote from: Beardman Meow on November 16, 2011, 10:22:18 PM
Dear Reverend,
I'm not pretty enough. My heart's too broken. I cry too much. I'm too outspoken.
WHAT DO?
This sounds more like a question for my associate, Dr Kevorkian.
I'd just also like to point out that Babylon fucking Horuv's advice to "socialize" is both the most infuriating and funny fucking thing I've seen this month.
This is not to say that BH shouldn't slide under a manure truck and get busy. I'm just saying.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 10:41:27 PM
I'd just also like to point out that Babylon fucking Horuv's advice to "socialize" is both the most infuriating and funny fucking thing I've seen this month.
This is not to say that BH shouldn't slide under a manure truck and get busy. I'm just saying.
Agreed. :tgrr: <-- Needs moar use!
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 10:37:42 PM
Quote from: Suu on November 16, 2011, 10:11:49 PM
Dear TGRR,
Why do men think it's okay to lie?
No wait...why do I date men that think it's okay to lie?
No wait...
WHY DO I SUCK AT THIS, AND HOW CAN FIX?!
Develop better taste in men. The things you go for are, apparently, predominately displayed in shitbags. Go for different things, or just learn to accept it and wallow in your inner guido.
I don't have enough yellow gold to wallow...no more shitbags it is.
Holy Man,
How do I get GF to get implants? :?
Quote from: Suu on November 16, 2011, 10:44:45 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 10:37:42 PM
Quote from: Suu on November 16, 2011, 10:11:49 PM
Dear TGRR,
Why do men think it's okay to lie?
No wait...why do I date men that think it's okay to lie?
No wait...
WHY DO I SUCK AT THIS, AND HOW CAN FIX?!
Develop better taste in men. The things you go for are, apparently, predominately displayed in shitbags. Go for different things, or just learn to accept it and wallow in your inner guido.
I don't have enough yellow gold to wallow...no more shitbags it is.
I don't believe that for one minute.
Just saying. Because it ain't the guys, Suu, it's you picking them. Whatever you've wired yourself to be attracted to is what's fucking you over time and time again, and frankly - not to be mean, here, just being straight with you - I don't think you're done kicking yourself in the ovaries just yet.
Quote from: Waffle Iron on November 16, 2011, 10:46:17 PM
Holy Man,
How do I get GF to get implants? :?
Tell her you'll get them first.
Seriously, just buy a fucking sex doll.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 10:46:51 PM
Quote from: Suu on November 16, 2011, 10:44:45 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 10:37:42 PM
Quote from: Suu on November 16, 2011, 10:11:49 PM
Dear TGRR,
Why do men think it's okay to lie?
No wait...why do I date men that think it's okay to lie?
No wait...
WHY DO I SUCK AT THIS, AND HOW CAN FIX?!
Develop better taste in men. The things you go for are, apparently, predominately displayed in shitbags. Go for different things, or just learn to accept it and wallow in your inner guido.
I don't have enough yellow gold to wallow...no more shitbags it is.
I don't believe that for one minute.
Just saying. Because it ain't the guys, Suu, it's you picking them. Whatever you've wired yourself to be attracted to is what's fucking you over time and time again, and frankly - not to be mean, here, just being straight with you - I don't think you're done kicking yourself in the ovaries just yet.
No I believe you. There is seriously something wrong with my taste in men. But, only in New England, as the guys I dated down yonder were actually sweethearts.
Then again...we were teenagers, and didn't have a shitton of emotional fucking baggage, either.
How do I meet these hot protester women that aren't interested in patchouli soaked bongos, wanton violence with police, or being homeless by choice? They all seem to be taken....
Dear The Good Reverend,
I am 9 hours away from my Phox. I only get to see her every few months. This is not a desirable situation. WAT DO?
Also, I accidentally my best friend. Twice. Everything's cool, nothing's weird. It was a good time. Should I do it again, or will all this eventually make things weird between us?
Love,
Kai, M.S.
TGRR,
I am happy. Wat do?
Quote from: Suu on November 16, 2011, 10:50:12 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 10:46:51 PM
Quote from: Suu on November 16, 2011, 10:44:45 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 10:37:42 PM
Quote from: Suu on November 16, 2011, 10:11:49 PM
Dear TGRR,
Why do men think it's okay to lie?
No wait...why do I date men that think it's okay to lie?
No wait...
WHY DO I SUCK AT THIS, AND HOW CAN FIX?!
Develop better taste in men. The things you go for are, apparently, predominately displayed in shitbags. Go for different things, or just learn to accept it and wallow in your inner guido.
I don't have enough yellow gold to wallow...no more shitbags it is.
I don't believe that for one minute.
Just saying. Because it ain't the guys, Suu, it's you picking them. Whatever you've wired yourself to be attracted to is what's fucking you over time and time again, and frankly - not to be mean, here, just being straight with you - I don't think you're done kicking yourself in the ovaries just yet.
No I believe you. There is seriously something wrong with my taste in men. But, only in New England, as the guys I dated down yonder were actually sweethearts.
Then again...we were teenagers, and didn't have a shitton of emotional fucking baggage, either.
:lulz: Oh honey. You don't know baggage yet.
Dear Reverend,
Which country offers the best mail-order brides?
Quote from: Agent Buttchug on November 16, 2011, 10:58:02 PM
How do I meet these hot protester women that aren't interested in patchouli soaked bongos, wanton violence with police, or being homeless by choice? They all seem to be taken....
By the way, all those cool stories you heard about women in the late 60s/early 70s?
Yeah. There was about a dozen of them. Total. And they all fit into at least one of the catagories you mention above.
Quote from: 'Kai' ZLB, M.S. on November 16, 2011, 11:00:48 PM
Dear The Good Reverend,
I am 9 hours away from my Phox. I only get to see her every few months. This is not a desirable situation. WAT DO?
Also, I accidentally my best friend. Twice. Everything's cool, nothing's weird. It was a good time. Should I do it again, or will all this eventually make things weird between us?
Love,
Kai, M.S.
1. You move or she moves. The other option, of course is a lifetime (2 lifetimes, to be precise) of regret over a missed opportunity for happiness.
2. See #1.
Quote from: Waffle Iron on November 16, 2011, 11:06:24 PM
TGRR,
I am happy. Wat do?
Ride it as long as you can. Life is short.
Quote from: PopeTom on November 16, 2011, 11:40:12 PM
Dear Reverend,
Which country offers the best mail-order brides?
Depends. Are you looking for someone that will rip you off, and then leave the moment she has her green card, or are you looking for someone you can abuse with impunity?
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 11:55:30 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on November 16, 2011, 11:40:12 PM
Dear Reverend,
Which country offers the best mail-order brides?
Depends. Are you looking for someone that will rip you off, and then leave the moment she has her green card, or are you looking for someone you can abuse with impunity?
:lulz:
I have a little story about an old man and his wife that I ran into while walking the dog many years ago. I was chatting with this cute old guy who complimented my dog, and his wife shrieked something at him out of the kitchen door. He flinched and told me, "When I got out of the Army I was clueless and had no luck with women, so I decided to get myself a nice, subservient Asian mail-order bride who would do whatever I said. Boy was I wrong; that was 40 years ago and she still rules me with an iron fist."
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 12:01:15 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 11:55:30 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on November 16, 2011, 11:40:12 PM
Dear Reverend,
Which country offers the best mail-order brides?
Depends. Are you looking for someone that will rip you off, and then leave the moment she has her green card, or are you looking for someone you can abuse with impunity?
:lulz:
I have a little story about an old man and his wife that I ran into while walking the dog many years ago. I was chatting with this cute old guy who complimented my dog, and his wife shrieked something at him out of the kitchen door. He flinched and told me, "When I got out of the Army I was clueless and had no luck with women, so I decided to get myself a nice, subservient Asian mail-order bride who would do whatever I said. Boy was I wrong; that was 40 years ago and she still rules me with an iron fist."
No shit? :lulz:
Quote from: Science me, babby on November 17, 2011, 12:04:42 AM
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 12:01:15 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 11:55:30 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on November 16, 2011, 11:40:12 PM
Dear Reverend,
Which country offers the best mail-order brides?
Depends. Are you looking for someone that will rip you off, and then leave the moment she has her green card, or are you looking for someone you can abuse with impunity?
:lulz:
I have a little story about an old man and his wife that I ran into while walking the dog many years ago. I was chatting with this cute old guy who complimented my dog, and his wife shrieked something at him out of the kitchen door. He flinched and told me, "When I got out of the Army I was clueless and had no luck with women, so I decided to get myself a nice, subservient Asian mail-order bride who would do whatever I said. Boy was I wrong; that was 40 years ago and she still rules me with an iron fist."
No shit? :lulz:
For real. :lulz:
Dear Reverend,
If this thing with EOT doesn't go anywhere, should I get a Ukrainian mail order husband, or should I travel to Peru and find one there?
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 12:06:13 AM
Dear Reverend,
If this thing with EOT doesn't go anywhere, should I get a Ukrainian mail order husband, or should I travel to Peru and find one there?
If this doesn't work out, I suggest instead the "Chainsaw Billy" technique, that involves prescreening men with an assortment of powered devices.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 11:52:33 PM
Quote from: Agent Buttchug on November 16, 2011, 10:58:02 PM
How do I meet these hot protester women that aren't interested in patchouli soaked bongos, wanton violence with police, or being homeless by choice? They all seem to be taken....
By the way, all those cool stories you heard about women in the late 60s/early 70s?
Yeah. There was about a dozen of them. Total. And they all fit into at least one of the catagories you mention above.
I was hoping the answer to this question would be 'Go to a Tea Party rally'.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 11:55:30 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on November 16, 2011, 11:40:12 PM
Dear Reverend,
Which country offers the best mail-order brides?
Depends. Are you looking for someone that will rip you off, and then leave the moment she has her green card, or are you looking for someone you can abuse with impunity?
The former, I'll save the the unfettered abuse for the children.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 12:12:00 AM
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 12:06:13 AM
Dear Reverend,
If this thing with EOT doesn't go anywhere, should I get a Ukrainian mail order husband, or should I travel to Peru and find one there?
If this doesn't work out, I suggest instead the "Chainsaw Billy" technique, that involves prescreening men with an assortment of powered devices.
:lulz:
i married my highschool sweetheart, who fulfills my dreams. she keeps me on my toes, is a great cook, a great mother to my sons, and a vixen to boot. so i guess i don't really need any general relationship advice...
but since we've been married since we were kids, neither of us did the dating scene much, and we're going to have fun with the idea by 'meeting as strangers in a bar' where i will pick her up and take her to a hotel room for fun romp.
any advice on how to appear extra suave?
it is perhaps relevant that the hotel that this bar is in does not have 220V in the rooms...
Quote from: Nigel on November 16, 2011, 11:17:27 PM
Quote from: Suu on November 16, 2011, 10:50:12 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 10:46:51 PM
Quote from: Suu on November 16, 2011, 10:44:45 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 10:37:42 PM
Quote from: Suu on November 16, 2011, 10:11:49 PM
Dear TGRR,
Why do men think it's okay to lie?
No wait...why do I date men that think it's okay to lie?
No wait...
WHY DO I SUCK AT THIS, AND HOW CAN FIX?!
Develop better taste in men. The things you go for are, apparently, predominately displayed in shitbags. Go for different things, or just learn to accept it and wallow in your inner guido.
I don't have enough yellow gold to wallow...no more shitbags it is.
I don't believe that for one minute.
Just saying. Because it ain't the guys, Suu, it's you picking them. Whatever you've wired yourself to be attracted to is what's fucking you over time and time again, and frankly - not to be mean, here, just being straight with you - I don't think you're done kicking yourself in the ovaries just yet.
No I believe you. There is seriously something wrong with my taste in men. But, only in New England, as the guys I dated down yonder were actually sweethearts.
Then again...we were teenagers, and didn't have a shitton of emotional fucking baggage, either.
:lulz: Oh honey. You don't know baggage yet.
When I grow up, I only hope I can be half as awesome as you.
Quote from: Suu on November 17, 2011, 01:57:58 AM
Quote from: Nigel on November 16, 2011, 11:17:27 PM
Quote from: Suu on November 16, 2011, 10:50:12 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 10:46:51 PM
Quote from: Suu on November 16, 2011, 10:44:45 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 10:37:42 PM
Quote from: Suu on November 16, 2011, 10:11:49 PM
Dear TGRR,
Why do men think it's okay to lie?
No wait...why do I date men that think it's okay to lie?
No wait...
WHY DO I SUCK AT THIS, AND HOW CAN FIX?!
Develop better taste in men. The things you go for are, apparently, predominately displayed in shitbags. Go for different things, or just learn to accept it and wallow in your inner guido.
I don't have enough yellow gold to wallow...no more shitbags it is.
I don't believe that for one minute.
Just saying. Because it ain't the guys, Suu, it's you picking them. Whatever you've wired yourself to be attracted to is what's fucking you over time and time again, and frankly - not to be mean, here, just being straight with you - I don't think you're done kicking yourself in the ovaries just yet.
No I believe you. There is seriously something wrong with my taste in men. But, only in New England, as the guys I dated down yonder were actually sweethearts.
Then again...we were teenagers, and didn't have a shitton of emotional fucking baggage, either.
:lulz: Oh honey. You don't know baggage yet.
When I grow up, I only hope I can be half as awesome as you.
I assume that by "awesome" you mean "damaged".
Dear Reverend,
Ivy League Boy (henceforth referred to as Lawful Good, because he is) attempted to call me last night. It was a bad time and I had no opportunity to talk, so the conversation was literally about a minute long. Do I contact him this evening or wait until tomorrow and then perhaps extend an invitation for something this weekend?
Quote from: PopeTom on November 17, 2011, 12:14:35 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 11:55:30 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on November 16, 2011, 11:40:12 PM
Dear Reverend,
Which country offers the best mail-order brides?
Depends. Are you looking for someone that will rip you off, and then leave the moment she has her green card, or are you looking for someone you can abuse with impunity?
The former, I'll save the the unfettered abuse for the children.
Then go with Russia or the Ukraine.
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on November 17, 2011, 02:37:27 AM
Dear Reverend,
Ivy League Boy (henceforth referred to as Lawful Good, because he is) attempted to call me last night. It was a bad time and I had no opportunity to talk, so the conversation was literally about a minute long. Do I contact him this evening or wait until tomorrow and then perhaps extend an invitation for something this weekend?
You teach him that love is a magic bucket of shit. It is an ordeal...It is a marathon, and if he wants it, he's gonna have to run. How fast and how long he has to run is basically up to you. Which ivy league school?
Quote from: Iptuous on November 17, 2011, 12:51:24 AM
i married my highschool sweetheart, who fulfills my dreams. she keeps me on my toes, is a great cook, a great mother to my sons, and a vixen to boot. so i guess i don't really need any general relationship advice...
but since we've been married since we were kids, neither of us did the dating scene much, and we're going to have fun with the idea by 'meeting as strangers in a bar' where i will pick her up and take her to a hotel room for fun romp.
any advice on how to appear extra suave?
it is perhaps relevant that the hotel that this bar is in does not have 220V in the rooms...
It is fucking crucial that you come off as a complete dork. I cannot stress this enough. This is a TEST, sir. A test in which she wants to learn just exactly how much you know about this sort of shit, and unlike school, the more you know, the worse off you are.
Quote from: PopeTom on November 17, 2011, 12:12:56 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 11:52:33 PM
Quote from: Agent Buttchug on November 16, 2011, 10:58:02 PM
How do I meet these hot protester women that aren't interested in patchouli soaked bongos, wanton violence with police, or being homeless by choice? They all seem to be taken....
By the way, all those cool stories you heard about women in the late 60s/early 70s?
Yeah. There was about a dozen of them. Total. And they all fit into at least one of the catagories you mention above.
I was hoping the answer to this question would be 'Go to a Tea Party rally'.
Oh, you're after huge chicks with false teeth.
Why the hell didn't you say so? Look, save the rally bullshit, and just head down to the nearest bar that hasn't got a level floor but does have karaoke. Drink 6 rums, strong ones.
Thank me later.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 02:49:29 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on November 17, 2011, 02:37:27 AM
Dear Reverend,
Ivy League Boy (henceforth referred to as Lawful Good, because he is) attempted to call me last night. It was a bad time and I had no opportunity to talk, so the conversation was literally about a minute long. Do I contact him this evening or wait until tomorrow and then perhaps extend an invitation for something this weekend?
You teach him that love is a magic bucket of shit. It is an ordeal...It is a marathon, and if he wants it, he's gonna have to run. How fast and how long he has to run is basically up to you. Which ivy league school?
Ended up texting him at the advice of Ginger Kid. He went to Columbia Law.
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on November 17, 2011, 02:59:57 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 02:49:29 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on November 17, 2011, 02:37:27 AM
Dear Reverend,
Ivy League Boy (henceforth referred to as Lawful Good, because he is) attempted to call me last night. It was a bad time and I had no opportunity to talk, so the conversation was literally about a minute long. Do I contact him this evening or wait until tomorrow and then perhaps extend an invitation for something this weekend?
You teach him that love is a magic bucket of shit. It is an ordeal...It is a marathon, and if he wants it, he's gonna have to run. How fast and how long he has to run is basically up to you. Which ivy league school?
Ended up texting him at the advice of Ginger Kid. He went to Columbia Law.
Went to? How old is this guy?
And does he have a chance in hell of passing the bar exam?
It's not a financial question...There's nothing in the world sadder or more annoying than someone who went to law school but can't pass the exam. They should quietly put people to sleep the 3rd time they fail. Or just "Old Yeller" them.
Twenty seven. Works as an assistant district attorney as of Monday.
Dear Reverend,
Is there a better method to figure out the age range of my OKCupid match search that the stand by of:
youngest = (MyAge/2)+7
oldest = (MyAge-7)*2
Quote from: PopeTom on November 17, 2011, 03:10:39 AM
Dear Reverend,
Is there a better method to figure out the age range of my OKCupid match search that the stand by of:
youngest = (MyAge/2)+7
oldest = (MyAge-7)*2
No, that's a pretty safe way to go. The older end has some latitude, but not very much. Interests, etc, change as people age, and you'll die miserable if you spend your early 40s going to quilting bees and bingo marathons.
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on November 17, 2011, 03:09:20 AM
Twenty seven. Works as an assistant district attorney as of Monday.
ROGER'S STANDARD ADVICE CONCERNING COPS, PRISON/JAIL GUARDS, AND DISTRICT ATTORNEYS:
Quote from: The Terrible Voice of ExperienceCops, prison/jail guards, and DAs deal with scumbags all the time. Within a few years, they think EVERYONE is a scumbag, even their coworkers. This leads them to be incredibly bitter and a stone bitch to be around.
Obviously, this doesn't ALWAYS happen, but it occurs enough to be almost an axiom. Not saying to back off, just warning you to watch your ass.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 03:16:22 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on November 17, 2011, 03:09:20 AM
Twenty seven. Works as an assistant district attorney as of Monday.
ROGER'S STANDARD ADVICE CONCERNING COPS, PRISON/JAIL GUARDS, AND DISTRICT ATTORNEYS:
Quote from: The Terrible Voice of ExperienceCops, prison/jail guards, and DAs deal with scumbags all the time. Within a few years, they think EVERYONE is a scumbag, even their coworkers. This leads them to be incredibly bitter and a stone bitch to be around.
Obviously, this doesn't ALWAYS happen, but it occurs enough to be almost an axiom. Not saying to back off, just warning you to watch your ass.
Will do. He's terribly naive, so I think it'll bite him kind of hard.
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on November 17, 2011, 03:17:25 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 03:16:22 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on November 17, 2011, 03:09:20 AM
Twenty seven. Works as an assistant district attorney as of Monday.
ROGER'S STANDARD ADVICE CONCERNING COPS, PRISON/JAIL GUARDS, AND DISTRICT ATTORNEYS:
Quote from: The Terrible Voice of ExperienceCops, prison/jail guards, and DAs deal with scumbags all the time. Within a few years, they think EVERYONE is a scumbag, even their coworkers. This leads them to be incredibly bitter and a stone bitch to be around.
Obviously, this doesn't ALWAYS happen, but it occurs enough to be almost an axiom. Not saying to back off, just warning you to watch your ass.
Will do. He's terribly naive, so I think it'll bite him kind of hard.
If possible try and bite him kind of hard first.
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on November 17, 2011, 03:17:25 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 03:16:22 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on November 17, 2011, 03:09:20 AM
Twenty seven. Works as an assistant district attorney as of Monday.
ROGER'S STANDARD ADVICE CONCERNING COPS, PRISON/JAIL GUARDS, AND DISTRICT ATTORNEYS:
Quote from: The Terrible Voice of ExperienceCops, prison/jail guards, and DAs deal with scumbags all the time. Within a few years, they think EVERYONE is a scumbag, even their coworkers. This leads them to be incredibly bitter and a stone bitch to be around.
Obviously, this doesn't ALWAYS happen, but it occurs enough to be almost an axiom. Not saying to back off, just warning you to watch your ass.
Will do. He's terribly naive, so I think it'll bite him kind of hard.
Well, yeah. First, they're going to dump the unwinnable ones on him to give him some experience. This is what DAs do when they think someone is innocent. Why drop the charges, when you can toss it to the new guy? Sure, the poor bastard defendant in question gets hauled through the wringer, but there's no experience like the real thing, right? (This happened to me for 2.5 years, once. It ran me about $25K in travel and lawyer's fees).
Then he'll prosecute his first pimp or pedo. When that happens, you'll know whether he's gonna be okay or if he's gonna be an embittered jackass for the rest of his life.
Quote from: PopeTom on November 17, 2011, 03:19:13 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on November 17, 2011, 03:17:25 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 03:16:22 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on November 17, 2011, 03:09:20 AM
Twenty seven. Works as an assistant district attorney as of Monday.
ROGER'S STANDARD ADVICE CONCERNING COPS, PRISON/JAIL GUARDS, AND DISTRICT ATTORNEYS:
Quote from: The Terrible Voice of ExperienceCops, prison/jail guards, and DAs deal with scumbags all the time. Within a few years, they think EVERYONE is a scumbag, even their coworkers. This leads them to be incredibly bitter and a stone bitch to be around.
Obviously, this doesn't ALWAYS happen, but it occurs enough to be almost an axiom. Not saying to back off, just warning you to watch your ass.
Will do. He's terribly naive, so I think it'll bite him kind of hard.
If possible try and bite him kind of hard first.
HEY, MY BAD. HERE I WAS, GIVING ADVICE IN AN ADVICE THREAD, WHEN I SHOULD HAVE BEEN SPOUTING LAME ONE-LINERS.
FUCK. WHAT WAS I THINKING?
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 03:20:55 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on November 17, 2011, 03:17:25 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 03:16:22 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on November 17, 2011, 03:09:20 AM
Twenty seven. Works as an assistant district attorney as of Monday.
ROGER'S STANDARD ADVICE CONCERNING COPS, PRISON/JAIL GUARDS, AND DISTRICT ATTORNEYS:
Quote from: The Terrible Voice of ExperienceCops, prison/jail guards, and DAs deal with scumbags all the time. Within a few years, they think EVERYONE is a scumbag, even their coworkers. This leads them to be incredibly bitter and a stone bitch to be around.
Obviously, this doesn't ALWAYS happen, but it occurs enough to be almost an axiom. Not saying to back off, just warning you to watch your ass.
Will do. He's terribly naive, so I think it'll bite him kind of hard.
Well, yeah. First, they're going to dump the unwinnable ones on him to give him some experience. This is what DAs do when they think someone is innocent. Why drop the charges, when you can toss it to the new guy? Sure, the poor bastard defendant in question gets hauled through the wringer, but there's no experience like the real thing, right? (This happened to me for 2.5 years, once. It ran me about $25K in travel and lawyer's fees).
Then he'll prosecute his first pimp or pedo. When that happens, you'll know whether he's gonna be okay or if he's gonna be an embittered jackass for the rest of his life.
Duly noted. :) Thanks!
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on November 17, 2011, 03:27:10 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 03:20:55 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on November 17, 2011, 03:17:25 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 03:16:22 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on November 17, 2011, 03:09:20 AM
Twenty seven. Works as an assistant district attorney as of Monday.
ROGER'S STANDARD ADVICE CONCERNING COPS, PRISON/JAIL GUARDS, AND DISTRICT ATTORNEYS:
Quote from: The Terrible Voice of ExperienceCops, prison/jail guards, and DAs deal with scumbags all the time. Within a few years, they think EVERYONE is a scumbag, even their coworkers. This leads them to be incredibly bitter and a stone bitch to be around.
Obviously, this doesn't ALWAYS happen, but it occurs enough to be almost an axiom. Not saying to back off, just warning you to watch your ass.
Will do. He's terribly naive, so I think it'll bite him kind of hard.
Well, yeah. First, they're going to dump the unwinnable ones on him to give him some experience. This is what DAs do when they think someone is innocent. Why drop the charges, when you can toss it to the new guy? Sure, the poor bastard defendant in question gets hauled through the wringer, but there's no experience like the real thing, right? (This happened to me for 2.5 years, once. It ran me about $25K in travel and lawyer's fees).
Then he'll prosecute his first pimp or pedo. When that happens, you'll know whether he's gonna be okay or if he's gonna be an embittered jackass for the rest of his life.
Duly noted. :) Thanks!
The good news is, the ones that survive the process become essentially bedrocks of principle, which is probably the best kind of dude there is.
Indeed. Here's hoping!
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on November 17, 2011, 03:33:10 AM
Indeed. Here's hoping!
If he flies to pieces, buy some quicklime. I know a guy who knows a guy.
Dear Reverend,
Can you offer guidelines for when it comes to dating a coworker (same workplace different departments)?
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 03:34:20 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on November 17, 2011, 03:33:10 AM
Indeed. Here's hoping!
If he flies to pieces, buy some quicklime. I know a guy who knows a guy.
Come to think of it, my next thread should be: "How to deal with difficult breakups so that nobody ever finds the body."
Quote from: PopeTom on November 17, 2011, 03:35:05 AM
Dear Reverend,
Can you offer guidelines for when it comes to dating a coworker (same workplace different departments)?
Get a new job.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 03:37:05 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 03:34:20 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on November 17, 2011, 03:33:10 AM
Indeed. Here's hoping!
If he flies to pieces, buy some quicklime. I know a guy who knows a guy.
Come to think of it, my next thread should be: "How to deal with difficult breakups so that nobody ever finds the body."
:lulz: I'd read that.
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 02:29:12 AM
I assume that by "awesome" you mean "damaged".
Bullshit, you're a strong, intelligent woman. Men just can't handle the amount of sheer omnipotent power you exert.
Sure, you're suffering through a heartbreak right now, so am I, and although our situations are very different (and Roger will probably yell at me for feeling anything at all), and the way we each feel is probably VERY different, I know that in the end, we'll both be stronger people for it.
Quote from: Suu on November 17, 2011, 04:03:03 AM
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 02:29:12 AM
I assume that by "awesome" you mean "damaged".
Bullshit, you're a strong, intelligent woman. Men just can't handle the amount of sheer omnipotent power you exert.
Sure, you're suffering through a heartbreak right now, so am I, and although our situations are very different (and Roger will probably yell at me for feeling anything at all), and the way we each feel is probably VERY different, I know that in the end, we'll both be stronger people for it.
THAT WHICH DOES NOT KILL YOU MERELY HURTS REALLY, REALLY BAD.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 04:08:34 AM
Quote from: Suu on November 17, 2011, 04:03:03 AM
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 02:29:12 AM
I assume that by "awesome" you mean "damaged".
Bullshit, you're a strong, intelligent woman. Men just can't handle the amount of sheer omnipotent power you exert.
Sure, you're suffering through a heartbreak right now, so am I, and although our situations are very different (and Roger will probably yell at me for feeling anything at all), and the way we each feel is probably VERY different, I know that in the end, we'll both be stronger people for it.
THAT WHICH DOES NOT KILL YOU MERELY HURTS REALLY, REALLY BAD.
I filled a bath towel with snot while I cried a couple weeks ago. That's fucking impressive by my standards. I swear, I've never breathed better...
When I have a hard cry (especially one that continues for days) my nose produces more mucus than I swear is humanly possible. I hate crying. I hate the pain, and I know damn well this sure as hell isn't going to be the last time I feel it. But then, I look back at how fucking ridiculous it is that I have that much shit pouring out of my face, and I make myself laugh.
But, all in all, I can say I've had worse. I'm actually feeling pretty damn good right now, considering. Ask me that 2 weeks after Herbert left me, and you'd think I was on the verge of death. I mean, that involved physical ACHING pain from every corner of my body like I had the flu for a month.
It's pretty amazing, if not frightening, the power the mind has over the body, and the pain that accompanies true heartbreak.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 04:08:34 AM
Quote from: Suu on November 17, 2011, 04:03:03 AM
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 02:29:12 AM
I assume that by "awesome" you mean "damaged".
Bullshit, you're a strong, intelligent woman. Men just can't handle the amount of sheer omnipotent power you exert.
Sure, you're suffering through a heartbreak right now, so am I, and although our situations are very different (and Roger will probably yell at me for feeling anything at all), and the way we each feel is probably VERY different, I know that in the end, we'll both be stronger people for it.
THAT WHICH DOES NOT KILL YOU MERELY HURTS REALLY, REALLY BAD.
:lulz: Goddamn, this is my new favorite saying.
Quote from: Suu on November 17, 2011, 04:03:03 AM
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 02:29:12 AM
I assume that by "awesome" you mean "damaged".
Bullshit, you're a strong, intelligent woman. Men just can't handle the amount of sheer omnipotent power you exert.
Sure, you're suffering through a heartbreak right now, so am I, and although our situations are very different (and Roger will probably yell at me for feeling anything at all), and the way we each feel is probably VERY different, I know that in the end, we'll both be stronger people for it.
I can't handle being much stronger. I need to wreck something.
Quote from: Suu on November 17, 2011, 04:24:42 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 04:08:34 AM
Quote from: Suu on November 17, 2011, 04:03:03 AM
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 02:29:12 AM
I assume that by "awesome" you mean "damaged".
Bullshit, you're a strong, intelligent woman. Men just can't handle the amount of sheer omnipotent power you exert.
Sure, you're suffering through a heartbreak right now, so am I, and although our situations are very different (and Roger will probably yell at me for feeling anything at all), and the way we each feel is probably VERY different, I know that in the end, we'll both be stronger people for it.
THAT WHICH DOES NOT KILL YOU MERELY HURTS REALLY, REALLY BAD.
I filled a bath towel with snot while I cried a couple weeks ago. That's fucking impressive by my standards. I swear, I've never breathed better...
When I have a hard cry (especially one that continues for days) my nose produces more mucus than I swear is humanly possible. I hate crying. I hate the pain, and I know damn well this sure as hell isn't going to be the last time I feel it. But then, I look back at how fucking ridiculous it is that I have that much shit pouring out of my face, and I make myself laugh.
But, all in all, I can say I've had worse. I'm actually feeling pretty damn good right now, considering. Ask me that 2 weeks after Herbert left me, and you'd think I was on the verge of death. I mean, that involved physical ACHING pain from every corner of my body like I had the flu for a month.
It's pretty amazing, if not frightening, the power the mind has over the body, and the pain that accompanies true heartbreak.
It's true. Love is chemically almost identical to opiate addiction, and the withdrawal from a bad breakup is absolutely physically debilitating. Night sweats, aches, nausea, the whole nine yards. It's not the "mind", it's simply chemistry... the brain in love is physically addicted. The more invested/connected/committed you are, the worse the addiction, and the harder the withdrawal.
If you can laugh at or produce art from the intensity of the withdrawal symptoms, it's truly making the most of things. Many many great artists and writers have produced amazing work during the agonies of detox.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 02:52:38 AM
Quote from: PopeTom on November 17, 2011, 12:12:56 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 11:52:33 PM
Quote from: Agent Buttchug on November 16, 2011, 10:58:02 PM
How do I meet these hot protester women that aren't interested in patchouli soaked bongos, wanton violence with police, or being homeless by choice? They all seem to be taken....
By the way, all those cool stories you heard about women in the late 60s/early 70s?
Yeah. There was about a dozen of them. Total. And they all fit into at least one of the catagories you mention above.
I was hoping the answer to this question would be 'Go to a Tea Party rally'.
Oh, you're after huge chicks with false teeth.
Why the hell didn't you say so? Look, save the rally bullshit, and just head down to the nearest bar that hasn't got a level floor but does have karaoke. Drink 6 rums, strong ones.
Thank me later.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Pope Tom stole my line, though. I set that up, you fuck!
:argh!:
Dear Reverend;
I have my first date tonight in too many years to admit openly. :oops: Any advice to keep me from making a complete ass out of myself and still carry on a conversation. Having "drinks" at 7 and I am (at least at this moment) smart enough to NOT drink more than one drink.
PLEASE HELP ME!!! :cry:
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 07:16:05 AM
Quote from: Suu on November 17, 2011, 04:24:42 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 04:08:34 AM
Quote from: Suu on November 17, 2011, 04:03:03 AM
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 02:29:12 AM
I assume that by "awesome" you mean "damaged".
Bullshit, you're a strong, intelligent woman. Men just can't handle the amount of sheer omnipotent power you exert.
Sure, you're suffering through a heartbreak right now, so am I, and although our situations are very different (and Roger will probably yell at me for feeling anything at all), and the way we each feel is probably VERY different, I know that in the end, we'll both be stronger people for it.
THAT WHICH DOES NOT KILL YOU MERELY HURTS REALLY, REALLY BAD.
I filled a bath towel with snot while I cried a couple weeks ago. That's fucking impressive by my standards. I swear, I've never breathed better...
When I have a hard cry (especially one that continues for days) my nose produces more mucus than I swear is humanly possible. I hate crying. I hate the pain, and I know damn well this sure as hell isn't going to be the last time I feel it. But then, I look back at how fucking ridiculous it is that I have that much shit pouring out of my face, and I make myself laugh.
But, all in all, I can say I've had worse. I'm actually feeling pretty damn good right now, considering. Ask me that 2 weeks after Herbert left me, and you'd think I was on the verge of death. I mean, that involved physical ACHING pain from every corner of my body like I had the flu for a month.
It's pretty amazing, if not frightening, the power the mind has over the body, and the pain that accompanies true heartbreak.
It's true. Love is chemically almost identical to opiate addiction, and the withdrawal from a bad breakup is absolutely physically debilitating. Night sweats, aches, nausea, the whole nine yards. It's not the "mind", it's simply chemistry... the brain in love is physically addicted. The more invested/connected/committed you are, the worse the addiction, and the harder the withdrawal.
If you can laugh at or produce art from the intensity of the withdrawal symptoms, it's truly making the most of things. Many many great artists and writers have produced amazing work during the agonies of detox.
I had a bad bout of night sweats last week over this. Even after I took off layers of blankets and stripped down to my skivvies (it's in the 30s-40s here at night now...and we don't have the heat on just yet.) I still woke up drenched.
Also. I wrote a book.
Like, a for real one. I had started it back after we got home from Pennsic, because I wanted a short tale about us, but then suddenly, I had a novella. The day we broke up, he told me to still finish it, so I mentally changed the ending. The day last week when shit really hit the fan, the ending shifted into a much darker, more insulting place for him to be, and I have to admit, this is the best catharsis I have ever found. It stopped me from plotting truly evil, devilish, life-ruining (but juvenile) revenge. Shit like this twists knives better. After all, he did tell me not to stop writing...
"I will obliterate you in fiction." Chaucer, from
A Knight's Tale
Quote from: Khara on November 17, 2011, 02:37:13 PM
Dear Reverend;
I have my first date tonight in too many years to admit openly. :oops: Any advice to keep me from making a complete ass out of myself and still carry on a conversation. Having "drinks" at 7 and I am (at least at this moment) smart enough to NOT drink more than one drink.
PLEASE HELP ME!!! :cry:
I'll PM you, because this thread is apparently now about HEARTACHE, IT AIN'T NOTHING BUT A HEARTBREAK...
I'm a shy and somewhat socially dysfunctional teenager. Where can I get one of those pussy magnets?
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on November 17, 2011, 03:03:37 PM
I'm a shy and somewhat socially dysfunctional teenager. Where can I get one of those pussy magnets?
You can't. They are being withheld by the FDA until their crack ICP team discovers how they function.
Now, if you want to meet a girl, allow me to suggest that you talk to some girls. In real life.
Dear Roger:
I'm almost a year away from my breakup, and I haven't really gotten back into dating. Not cause of sadness or anything like that. Basically my problem is twofold:
(1) Recently, I have found "socializing at bars" to be boring as hell -- I spend like 20 minutes there and I'm ready to go home
(2) I guess I just don't give a shit? I'm comfortable being single and not getting laid. The drama in my life is at an extreme minimum. And that means if I see a girl who I want to flirt with, my "eh who cares" threshold is set absurdly low.
Something seems not right about it, it feels a little unhealthy to be so divested. The hilarious Craigslist ad you wrote for me was awesome - it made me aware that I need more LIFE in my life. I know, intellectually, that I need to get out of the monastery/waffle house a bit more. But I'm having a really hard time working up the GO power. I spent my college years with my fly unzipped OR head over heels about a girl -- and now it seems like a waste of time. And that can't be right, right?
Quote from: Cramulus on November 17, 2011, 04:49:27 PM
Dear Roger:
I'm almost a year away from my breakup, and I haven't really gotten back into dating. Not cause of sadness or anything like that. Basically my problem is twofold:
(1) Recently, I have found "socializing at bars" to be boring as hell -- I spend like 20 minutes there and I'm ready to go home
Bars are a TERRIBLE place to meet people. Go hit a gallery opening, or a similar event...Where there's something going on besides you looking.
Quote from: Cramulus on November 17, 2011, 04:49:27 PM
(2) I guess I just don't give a shit? I'm comfortable being single and not getting laid. The drama in my life is at an extreme minimum. And that means if I see a girl who I want to flirt with, my "eh who cares" threshold is set absurdly low.
Something seems not right about it, it feels a little unhealthy to be so divested. The hilarious Craigslist ad you wrote for me was awesome - it made me aware that I need more LIFE in my life. I know, intellectually, that I need to get out of the monastery/waffle house a bit more. But I'm having a really hard time working up the GO power. I spent my college years with my fly unzipped OR head over heels about a girl -- and now it seems like a waste of time. And that can't be right, right?
A waste of time? WTF? That's what you're supposed to do at that age.
Hell, I was still doing that when I zoomed past 40.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 02:51:18 PM
Quote from: Khara on November 17, 2011, 02:37:13 PM
Dear Reverend;
I have my first date tonight in too many years to admit openly. :oops: Any advice to keep me from making a complete ass out of myself and still carry on a conversation. Having "drinks" at 7 and I am (at least at this moment) smart enough to NOT drink more than one drink.
PLEASE HELP ME!!! :cry:
I'll PM you, because this thread is apparently now about HEARTACHE, IT AIN'T NOTHING BUT A HEARTBREAK...
Sorry Roger, I'll chill the fuck out on it. Plus, depending on how the upcoming week goes, I'll probably be asking you for more relationship advice, you being my love guru and all.
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 04:54:44 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 02:51:18 PM
Quote from: Khara on November 17, 2011, 02:37:13 PM
Dear Reverend;
I have my first date tonight in too many years to admit openly. :oops: Any advice to keep me from making a complete ass out of myself and still carry on a conversation. Having "drinks" at 7 and I am (at least at this moment) smart enough to NOT drink more than one drink.
PLEASE HELP ME!!! :cry:
I'll PM you, because this thread is apparently now about HEARTACHE, IT AIN'T NOTHING BUT A HEARTBREAK...
Sorry Roger, I'll chill the fuck out on it. Plus, depending on how the upcoming week goes, I'll probably be asking you for more relationship advice, you being my love guru and all.
ALWAYS THE
BRIDESMAID GURU, NEVER TEH
BRIDE MEAT PUPPET. :(
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 04:55:58 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 04:54:44 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 02:51:18 PM
Quote from: Khara on November 17, 2011, 02:37:13 PM
Dear Reverend;
I have my first date tonight in too many years to admit openly. :oops: Any advice to keep me from making a complete ass out of myself and still carry on a conversation. Having "drinks" at 7 and I am (at least at this moment) smart enough to NOT drink more than one drink.
PLEASE HELP ME!!! :cry:
I'll PM you, because this thread is apparently now about HEARTACHE, IT AIN'T NOTHING BUT A HEARTBREAK...
Sorry Roger, I'll chill the fuck out on it. Plus, depending on how the upcoming week goes, I'll probably be asking you for more relationship advice, you being my love guru and all.
ALWAYS THE BRIDESMAID GURU, NEVER TEH BRIDE MEAT PUPPET. :(
It's a dirty job, but someone has to provide guidance to us mere mortals. We keep fucking everything all up.
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 04:59:26 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 04:55:58 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 04:54:44 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 02:51:18 PM
Quote from: Khara on November 17, 2011, 02:37:13 PM
Dear Reverend;
I have my first date tonight in too many years to admit openly. :oops: Any advice to keep me from making a complete ass out of myself and still carry on a conversation. Having "drinks" at 7 and I am (at least at this moment) smart enough to NOT drink more than one drink.
PLEASE HELP ME!!! :cry:
I'll PM you, because this thread is apparently now about HEARTACHE, IT AIN'T NOTHING BUT A HEARTBREAK...
Sorry Roger, I'll chill the fuck out on it. Plus, depending on how the upcoming week goes, I'll probably be asking you for more relationship advice, you being my love guru and all.
ALWAYS THE BRIDESMAID GURU, NEVER TEH BRIDE MEAT PUPPET. :(
It's a dirty job, but someone has to provide guidance to us mere mortals. We keep fucking everything all up.
Um.
We Holy Men™ fuck everything up even worse.
"YOU CAN'T JUST GO AND GET MARRIED WHEN I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU!"
*WHACK* <---scalpel hitting table beside silverware.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 05:11:02 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 04:59:26 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 04:55:58 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 04:54:44 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 02:51:18 PM
Quote from: Khara on November 17, 2011, 02:37:13 PM
Dear Reverend;
I have my first date tonight in too many years to admit openly. :oops: Any advice to keep me from making a complete ass out of myself and still carry on a conversation. Having "drinks" at 7 and I am (at least at this moment) smart enough to NOT drink more than one drink.
PLEASE HELP ME!!! :cry:
I'll PM you, because this thread is apparently now about HEARTACHE, IT AIN'T NOTHING BUT A HEARTBREAK...
Sorry Roger, I'll chill the fuck out on it. Plus, depending on how the upcoming week goes, I'll probably be asking you for more relationship advice, you being my love guru and all.
ALWAYS THE BRIDESMAID GURU, NEVER TEH BRIDE MEAT PUPPET. :(
It's a dirty job, but someone has to provide guidance to us mere mortals. We keep fucking everything all up.
Um.
We Holy Men™ fuck everything up even worse.
"YOU CAN'T JUST GO AND GET MARRIED WHEN I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU!"
*WHACK* <---scalpel hitting table beside silverware.
Yeah, but at least you fuck it up in
interesting ways.
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 05:15:33 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 05:11:02 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 04:59:26 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 04:55:58 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 04:54:44 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 02:51:18 PM
Quote from: Khara on November 17, 2011, 02:37:13 PM
Dear Reverend;
I have my first date tonight in too many years to admit openly. :oops: Any advice to keep me from making a complete ass out of myself and still carry on a conversation. Having "drinks" at 7 and I am (at least at this moment) smart enough to NOT drink more than one drink.
PLEASE HELP ME!!! :cry:
I'll PM you, because this thread is apparently now about HEARTACHE, IT AIN'T NOTHING BUT A HEARTBREAK...
Sorry Roger, I'll chill the fuck out on it. Plus, depending on how the upcoming week goes, I'll probably be asking you for more relationship advice, you being my love guru and all.
ALWAYS THE BRIDESMAID GURU, NEVER TEH BRIDE MEAT PUPPET. :(
It's a dirty job, but someone has to provide guidance to us mere mortals. We keep fucking everything all up.
Um.
We Holy Men™ fuck everything up even worse.
"YOU CAN'T JUST GO AND GET MARRIED WHEN I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU!"
*WHACK* <---scalpel hitting table beside silverware.
Yeah, but at least you fuck it up in interesting ways.
That's mostly because I'm stupid and lack survival instincts. :lulz:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 05:16:18 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 05:15:33 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 05:11:02 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 04:59:26 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 04:55:58 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 04:54:44 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 02:51:18 PM
Quote from: Khara on November 17, 2011, 02:37:13 PM
Dear Reverend;
I have my first date tonight in too many years to admit openly. :oops: Any advice to keep me from making a complete ass out of myself and still carry on a conversation. Having "drinks" at 7 and I am (at least at this moment) smart enough to NOT drink more than one drink.
PLEASE HELP ME!!! :cry:
I'll PM you, because this thread is apparently now about HEARTACHE, IT AIN'T NOTHING BUT A HEARTBREAK...
Sorry Roger, I'll chill the fuck out on it. Plus, depending on how the upcoming week goes, I'll probably be asking you for more relationship advice, you being my love guru and all.
ALWAYS THE BRIDESMAID GURU, NEVER TEH BRIDE MEAT PUPPET. :(
It's a dirty job, but someone has to provide guidance to us mere mortals. We keep fucking everything all up.
Um.
We Holy Men™ fuck everything up even worse.
"YOU CAN'T JUST GO AND GET MARRIED WHEN I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU!"
*WHACK* <---scalpel hitting table beside silverware.
Yeah, but at least you fuck it up in interesting ways.
That's mostly because I'm stupid and lack survival instincts. :lulz:
This is what makes you a Holy Man™!
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 05:22:16 PM
This is what makes you a Holy Man™!
Historically speaking, I'm on pretty solid ground, here.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 03:05:55 PM
Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on November 17, 2011, 03:03:37 PM
I'm a shy and somewhat socially dysfunctional teenager. Where can I get one of those pussy magnets?
You can't. They are being withheld by the FDA until their crack ICP team discovers how they function.
Now, if you want to meet a girl, allow me to suggest that you talk to some girls. In real life.
Aw man, that's too bad. I'll have to do it the hard way then. :sad:
Thank you very much for the advice anyway, Good Reverend!
I've been doing it the hard way for a while now, actually. Depending on my level of desperation, how much I drink and where I set my standards, a breakthrough should be expected in everything from a couple of days to never. Until that happens, just having discovered 3.5 billion potential friends is good enough for me.
OK, so I have a question. I have not heard from EOT since Tuesday morning. I have been texting him as normal. It is not unusual at all for him to be out of touch for a couple of days at a time. At what point am I justified in starting to worry?
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 06:20:04 PM
OK, so I have a question. I have not heard from EOT since Tuesday morning. I have been texting him as normal. It is not unusual at all for him to be out of touch for a couple of days at a time. At what point am I justified in starting to worry?
A couple more days.
Then there's this lady I know, she has this scalpel, see...
TGRR,
PLEASE...PLEASE, DON'T LEAVE ME
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 06:23:25 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 06:20:04 PM
OK, so I have a question. I have not heard from EOT since Tuesday morning. I have been texting him as normal. It is not unusual at all for him to be out of touch for a couple of days at a time. At what point am I justified in starting to worry?
A couple more days.
Then there's this lady I know, she has this scalpel, see...
TGRR,
PLEASE...PLEASE, DON'T LEAVE ME
:x :x :x :x
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 06:25:09 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 06:23:25 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 06:20:04 PM
OK, so I have a question. I have not heard from EOT since Tuesday morning. I have been texting him as normal. It is not unusual at all for him to be out of touch for a couple of days at a time. At what point am I justified in starting to worry?
A couple more days.
Then there's this lady I know, she has this scalpel, see...
TGRR,
PLEASE...PLEASE, DON'T LEAVE ME
:x :x :x :x
P!nk songs are the best stalking tool since Facebook. :lulz:
Dear Reverend,
Near as I can tell there are only two way for a relationship to end.
1) Breakup
2) Someone dies
Are there other ways for a relationship to end I am unaware of?
Quote from: PopeTom on November 17, 2011, 06:55:29 PM
Dear Reverend,
Near as I can tell there are only two way for a relationship to end.
1) Breakup
2) Someone dies
Are there other ways for a relationship to end I am unaware of?
BabylonHorv would probably say, "decomposition".
Ooooo, that was bad. I feel bad now.
Quote from: Khara on November 17, 2011, 02:37:13 PM
Dear Reverend;
I have my first date tonight in too many years to admit openly. :oops: Any advice to keep me from making a complete ass out of myself and still carry on a conversation. Having "drinks" at 7 and I am (at least at this moment) smart enough to NOT drink more than one drink.
PLEASE HELP ME!!! :cry:
!!!! GOOD LUCK!
Quote from: 'Kai' ZLB, M.S. on November 17, 2011, 09:20:18 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on November 17, 2011, 06:55:29 PM
Dear Reverend,
Near as I can tell there are only two way for a relationship to end.
1) Breakup
2) Someone dies
Are there other ways for a relationship to end I am unaware of?
BabylonHorv would probably say, "decomposition".
Ooooo, that was bad. I feel bad now.
:lulz: No way you should feel bad, dude. NO WAY. That was fucking brilliant.
Whenever I feel attracted to someone, I deliberately cut myself off from them because being interested makes me feel like a creepy stalker. This generally results in at least two weeks of complete self-loathing. How do I stop this?
Quote from: Uncle Wallified on November 17, 2011, 10:08:10 PM
Whenever I feel attracted to someone, I deliberately cut myself off from them because being interested makes me feel like a creepy stalker. This generally results in at least two weeks of complete self-loathing. How do I stop this?
By flirting with them instead, and seeing where it goes.SORRY, I AM NOT THE LOVE DOKTOR BUT IMPULSE GOT HOLD OF ME.
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 10:16:32 PM
Quote from: Uncle Wallified on November 17, 2011, 10:08:10 PM
Whenever I feel attracted to someone, I deliberately cut myself off from them because being interested makes me feel like a creepy stalker. This generally results in at least two weeks of complete self-loathing. How do I stop this?
By flirting with them instead, and seeing where it goes.
SORRY, I AM NOT THE LOVE DOKTOR BUT IMPULSE GOT HOLD OF ME.
How does flirt?
Quote from: Uncle Wallified on November 17, 2011, 10:20:43 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 10:16:32 PM
Quote from: Uncle Wallified on November 17, 2011, 10:08:10 PM
Whenever I feel attracted to someone, I deliberately cut myself off from them because being interested makes me feel like a creepy stalker. This generally results in at least two weeks of complete self-loathing. How do I stop this?
By flirting with them instead, and seeing where it goes.
SORRY, I AM NOT THE LOVE DOKTOR BUT IMPULSE GOT HOLD OF ME.
How does flirt?
Make eye contact and smile.
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 10:22:05 PM
Quote from: Uncle Wallified on November 17, 2011, 10:20:43 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 10:16:32 PM
Quote from: Uncle Wallified on November 17, 2011, 10:08:10 PM
Whenever I feel attracted to someone, I deliberately cut myself off from them because being interested makes me feel like a creepy stalker. This generally results in at least two weeks of complete self-loathing. How do I stop this?
By flirting with them instead, and seeing where it goes.
SORRY, I AM NOT THE LOVE DOKTOR BUT IMPULSE GOT HOLD OF ME.
How does flirt?
Make eye contact and smile.
I guess I'll give it a shot. Social anxiety and depression haven't been working out for me so far.
Quote from: Science me, babby on November 17, 2011, 09:23:48 PM
Quote from: Khara on November 17, 2011, 02:37:13 PM
Dear Reverend;
I have my first date tonight in too many years to admit openly. :oops: Any advice to keep me from making a complete ass out of myself and still carry on a conversation. Having "drinks" at 7 and I am (at least at this moment) smart enough to NOT drink more than one drink.
PLEASE HELP ME!!! :cry:
!!!! GOOD LUCK!
Thanks. I'm just hoping I don't hurl on his shoes :lulz:
Quote from: Khara on November 17, 2011, 10:28:01 PM
Quote from: Science me, babby on November 17, 2011, 09:23:48 PM
Quote from: Khara on November 17, 2011, 02:37:13 PM
Dear Reverend;
I have my first date tonight in too many years to admit openly. :oops: Any advice to keep me from making a complete ass out of myself and still carry on a conversation. Having "drinks" at 7 and I am (at least at this moment) smart enough to NOT drink more than one drink.
PLEASE HELP ME!!! :cry:
!!!! GOOD LUCK!
Thanks. I'm just hoping I don't hurl on his shoes :lulz:
Good luck, Khara. He'll either adore you for who you are, or he's not worthy of you. Just relax and try to have a good time.
Dear Roger,
I introduced myself to a cute girl at Occupy in a way that she described later as a "sneak attack maneuver," bought her a chai tea, and walked around town talking for hours. She's articulate, mischievous, fluent in German and has current knowledge about the European financial crisis.
We may have a date this Saturday or for sure next weekend. I thank your Holy Personage™ for fixing my problem.
Sincerely,
Net
Quote from: Khara on November 17, 2011, 10:28:01 PM
Quote from: Science me, babby on November 17, 2011, 09:23:48 PM
Quote from: Khara on November 17, 2011, 02:37:13 PM
Dear Reverend;
I have my first date tonight in too many years to admit openly. :oops: Any advice to keep me from making a complete ass out of myself and still carry on a conversation. Having "drinks" at 7 and I am (at least at this moment) smart enough to NOT drink more than one drink.
PLEASE HELP ME!!! :cry:
!!!! GOOD LUCK!
Thanks. I'm just hoping I don't hurl on his shoes :lulz:
At the risk of annoying dear Rog in his thread--I have to ask for UPDATE!!! Let us know how it goes!
Quote from: Uncle Wallified on November 17, 2011, 10:08:10 PM
Whenever I feel attracted to someone, I deliberately cut myself off from them because being interested makes me feel like a creepy stalker. This generally results in at least two weeks of complete self-loathing. How do I stop this?
Become a hermit.
Dear Reverend:
Thank you for the advice, the date went quite well. Well, it went well for him and I'm apparently a better actress than I ever realized because he's asked for a second date.
What does one do when there is no initial physical spark? Do you try to make one? Do you think there needs to be an initial physical attraction on meeting? Some little twinkle in the tummy kind of thing?
I don't want to waste this guys time or mine but well, he just doesn't push my buttons, as nice as he is.
Also, how to keep these men from messing with my hair? What the fuck is up with that?
Thank you!!!
Quote from: Khara on November 18, 2011, 04:39:43 PM
Dear Reverend:
Thank you for the advice, the date went quite well. Well, it went well for him and I'm apparently a better actress than I ever realized because he's asked for a second date.
What does one do when there is no initial physical spark? Do you try to make one? Do you think there needs to be an initial physical attraction on meeting? Some little twinkle in the tummy kind of thing?
I don't want to waste this guys time or mine but well, he just doesn't push my buttons, as nice as he is.
Also, how to keep these men from messing with my hair? What the fuck is up with that?
Thank you!!!
1. If it went well, give it a second shot, if you're comfortable around him.
2. Once he puts his finger in your ear, you'll know he's serious.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 18, 2011, 05:01:21 PM
Quote from: Khara on November 18, 2011, 04:39:43 PM
Dear Reverend:
Thank you for the advice, the date went quite well. Well, it went well for him and I'm apparently a better actress than I ever realized because he's asked for a second date.
What does one do when there is no initial physical spark? Do you try to make one? Do you think there needs to be an initial physical attraction on meeting? Some little twinkle in the tummy kind of thing?
I don't want to waste this guys time or mine but well, he just doesn't push my buttons, as nice as he is.
Also, how to keep these men from messing with my hair? What the fuck is up with that?
Thank you!!!
1. If it went well, give it a second shot, if you're comfortable around him.
2. Once he puts his finger in your ear, you'll know he's serious.
That should be called that the Nigel-Earfinger test. :lulz:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 18, 2011, 03:56:19 PM
Quote from: Uncle Wallified on November 17, 2011, 10:08:10 PM
Whenever I feel attracted to someone, I deliberately cut myself off from them because being interested makes me feel like a creepy stalker. This generally results in at least two weeks of complete self-loathing. How do I stop this?
Become a hermit.
That's pretty much what I'm already doing. :sad:
Quote from: Uncle Wallified on November 18, 2011, 05:35:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 18, 2011, 03:56:19 PM
Quote from: Uncle Wallified on November 17, 2011, 10:08:10 PM
Whenever I feel attracted to someone, I deliberately cut myself off from them because being interested makes me feel like a creepy stalker. This generally results in at least two weeks of complete self-loathing. How do I stop this?
Become a hermit.
That's pretty much what I'm already doing. :sad:
Not understanding why liking someone makes you feel like a creepy stalker.
Unless I'm totally reading that wrong, it sounds like you need to talk to an actual therapist first.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 18, 2011, 05:38:32 PM
Quote from: Uncle Wallified on November 18, 2011, 05:35:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 18, 2011, 03:56:19 PM
Quote from: Uncle Wallified on November 17, 2011, 10:08:10 PM
Whenever I feel attracted to someone, I deliberately cut myself off from them because being interested makes me feel like a creepy stalker. This generally results in at least two weeks of complete self-loathing. How do I stop this?
Become a hermit.
That's pretty much what I'm already doing. :sad:
Not understanding why liking someone makes you feel like a creepy stalker.
Unless I'm totally reading that wrong, it sounds like you need to talk to an actual therapist first.
No, you're not reading it wrong. I probably do have to talk to one. I've been putting it off for years. I guess it's always the most obvious things that I procrastinate over.
Quote from: Uncle Wallified on November 18, 2011, 05:45:47 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 18, 2011, 05:38:32 PM
Quote from: Uncle Wallified on November 18, 2011, 05:35:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 18, 2011, 03:56:19 PM
Quote from: Uncle Wallified on November 17, 2011, 10:08:10 PM
Whenever I feel attracted to someone, I deliberately cut myself off from them because being interested makes me feel like a creepy stalker. This generally results in at least two weeks of complete self-loathing. How do I stop this?
Become a hermit.
That's pretty much what I'm already doing. :sad:
Not understanding why liking someone makes you feel like a creepy stalker.
Unless I'm totally reading that wrong, it sounds like you need to talk to an actual therapist first.
No, you're not reading it wrong. I probably do have to talk to one. I've been putting it off for years. I guess it's always the most obvious things that I procrastinate over.
I'd do it. The ironclad law of being a "creepy stalker" is this:
If the person you are interested in is of an appopriate age and also single, it is only "creepy stalking" if you pester or follow that person around after the person has turned you down on a date.
If you feel that you are a creepy stalker merely because you have developed an interest in someone, then yes, counselling is in order, and I am not qualified to give you any advice other than to seek it out. It's effective, and it usually doesn't cost too much.
If I may interject, I've had this happen to me. I think it was a combination of excessive liberal PC training and self-worth/doubt issues.
You see, as a white male opressor, I'm naturally one suggestive look away from TOTAL RAPE EXPLOSION. And the Male Gaze™ is a form of domination and privilege. Any sensual/sexual thoughts or feelings one has to an unfamiliar woman is immediately suspect, and is borderline assault.
Not to mention, why would someone smart, funny, and attractive ever want to be with a guy like me? I'd just be bothering her with my pathetic pickup lines and pleas for attention. If I show her I'm interested, she'll Just Want To Be Friends, and any further desire on my part would be considered creepy stalking.
...I got better. I swear. Kind of.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on November 18, 2011, 05:52:25 PM
If I may interject, I've had this happen to me. I think it was a combination of excessive liberal PC training and self-worth/doubt issues.
You see, as a white male opressor, I'm naturally one suggestive look away from TOTAL RAPE EXPLOSION. And the Male Gaze™ is a form of domination and privilege. Any sensual/sexual thoughts or feelings one has to an unfamiliar woman is immediately suspect, and is borderline assault.
Not to mention, why would someone smart, funny, and attractive ever want to be with a guy like me? I'd just be bothering her with my pathetic pickup lines and pleas for attention. If I show her I'm interested, she'll Just Want To Be Friends, and any further desire on my part would be considered creepy stalking.
...I got better. I swear. Kind of.
Looks like you did. You got the hawt wife and the good life.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on November 18, 2011, 05:52:25 PM
If I may interject, I've had this happen to me. I think it was a combination of excessive liberal PC training and self-worth/doubt issues.
You see, as a white male opressor, I'm naturally one suggestive look away from TOTAL RAPE EXPLOSION. And the Male Gaze™ is a form of domination and privilege. Any sensual/sexual thoughts or feelings one has to an unfamiliar woman is immediately suspect, and is borderline assault.
Not to mention, why would someone smart, funny, and attractive ever want to be with a guy like me? I'd just be bothering her with my pathetic pickup lines and pleas for attention. If I show her I'm interested, she'll Just Want To Be Friends, and any further desire on my part would be considered creepy stalking.
...I got better. I swear. Kind of.
:mittens: This is the correct motorcycle. Only in my case it's less a matter of political correctness and more a matter of self-hatred.
But I really should shut up about it. I don't want to spag up this thread with my drama.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 18, 2011, 05:01:21 PM
Quote from: Khara on November 18, 2011, 04:39:43 PM
Dear Reverend:
Thank you for the advice, the date went quite well. Well, it went well for him and I'm apparently a better actress than I ever realized because he's asked for a second date.
What does one do when there is no initial physical spark? Do you try to make one? Do you think there needs to be an initial physical attraction on meeting? Some little twinkle in the tummy kind of thing?
I don't want to waste this guys time or mine but well, he just doesn't push my buttons, as nice as he is.
Also, how to keep these men from messing with my hair? What the fuck is up with that?
Thank you!!!
1. If it went well, give it a second shot, if you're comfortable around him.
2. Once he puts his finger in your ear, you'll know he's serious.
:lulz: