GET IN THE BACK OF THE FUCKING LINE.
There seems to be something about being more or less competent that makes everybody WANT. Listen, motherfuckers; the fact that I am able, just barely, to take care of my own problems and responsibilities DOES NOT IN ANY WAY indicate that it's a good idea to ask me to take care of YOURS.
The fact that I'm on food stamps is in no way an indicator THAT I CAN AFFORD TO FEED YOU. It is an indication that I can barely afford to feed myself and my kids, OH FUCKING KAY? The fact that I get a financial aid disbursement at the beginning of the term, likewise, is not an indication that I'm high on the hog and can afford to lend you money. On the contrary, ASSFUCKHOLEFACE, it's an indication that I am willing to go into debt while living on a shoestring in order to get an education that will eventually allow me to buy things like, oh I don't know, shoes for my children. Or maybe even pay for their educations so they never have to go through this bullshit.
No, I will not take time off work to go with you so you can use my barely-liquid status to justify not paying your vet bill. You know what? GET A FUCKING JOB. You seem to have all day long to interrupt MY work to complain about how broke you are, so that suggests that you maybe have the free time to go work a cashbox at the farmer's market or some of the other menial shit you've turned down because you decided you were too good for it. Can't get a job? My condolences. Go do what millions of us already have done, and humble yourself enough to apply for unemployment or food stamps, or stand in line for a food box. Trust me, it will be less humiliating than looking back on your life and remembering that time you tried to leech off of a full-time-student-single-mom trying to support her kids on financial aid and beads.
Lastly, WHAT THE FUCK. ARE YOU EVEN FUCKING SERIOUS? For those of us with responsibilities such as a house and kids, the whole world does not stop because it's Spring Break. So no, I can't drive to Canada with you, no, I won't take the day off and go hiking, no, I am not free to teach you how to make bread, no, I won't sew a fucking couch cover for you, you can stick your pants that need hemming ALL THE WAY UP YOUR RECTUM UNTIL YOU CAN TASTE THEM, and by the way, you are a total fucking asshole for asking.
Thanks.
Jesus, people actually pull that shit on you?
And you haven't actually beaten them up, yet?
I'd drive to Canada with your friends.
I can repeat "are we nearly there yet" for hours on end.
Who are these wankers? Can I beat them with a shovel?
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 26, 2012, 09:54:44 PM
Jesus, people actually pull that shit on you?
And you haven't actually beaten them up, yet?
YET.
Yes. All of those things have happened, as well as "Want to meet us at the park?" in the middle of a Monday afternoon, and "If you're not doing anything today we should take the dogs to the river" on a Thursday. I have NO IDEA what people are thinking. Like all of a sudden, all my responsibilities have maybe just sort of vanished?
My favorite is when someone actually asked me to go with her to the low-income vet clinic so she could get free care for her dog, because she "just got her financial aid but it has to last the whole term". :lulz:
I politely suggested that she call the neighborhood clinic and find out how much an office visit would cost, because I was planning on using my time working, and if I spend two hours at the vet with her that will cost me $240 in lost productivity, so it would probably cost her less to go to the regular vet and just pay for the office visit.
Quote from: Cain on March 26, 2012, 09:55:42 PM
I'd drive to Canada with your friends.
I can repeat "are we nearly there yet" for hours on end.
You are SIGNED ON. :lulz:
Quote from: Pixie on March 26, 2012, 10:06:06 PM
Who are these wankers? Can I beat them with a shovel?
They are the assholes who have, for several years, purported to be my friends.
I'm a bit slow on the uptake, but it's starting to dawn on me that they are not, in fact, very good friends.
Quote from: Nigel on March 26, 2012, 10:13:19 PM
Quote from: Cain on March 26, 2012, 09:55:42 PM
I'd drive to Canada with your friends.
I can repeat "are we nearly there yet" for hours on end.
You are SIGNED ON. :lulz:
I once nearly managed to get my own father to punch me through persistent use of that phrase. Before we'd even started the car, on a 12 hour drive down from Scotland.
Also, I've disowned a lot of my so-called friends lately, so I can sympathise. People who only talk to me when they want something = cut off.
Quote from: Nigel on March 26, 2012, 10:14:11 PM
Quote from: Pixie on March 26, 2012, 10:06:06 PM
Who are these wankers? Can I beat them with a shovel?
They are the assholes who have, for several years, purported to be my friends.
I'm a bit slow on the uptake, but it's starting to dawn on me that they are not, in fact, very good friends.
No, it seems that they don't have a lot of respect for your time. Or your money, for that matter.
Some of them may just being having a thoughtless moment, but I'd still lower the fucking boom on them. Pitch a fucking wobbler the next time they bother you during the workday. They'll either straighten up or they won't.
Quote from: Cain on March 26, 2012, 10:16:01 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 26, 2012, 10:13:19 PM
Quote from: Cain on March 26, 2012, 09:55:42 PM
I'd drive to Canada with your friends.
I can repeat "are we nearly there yet" for hours on end.
You are SIGNED ON. :lulz:
I once nearly managed to get my own father to punch me through persistent use of that phrase. Before we'd even started the car, on a 12 hour drive down from Scotland.
Also, I've disowned a lot of my so-called friends lately, so I can sympathise. People who only talk to me when they want something = cut off.
I would really love to have a road trip that included you, Alty, Roger, and ECH in a big van with my friends. I think that would do a GREAT job of weeding them out. :lulz:
EXTREME DISCOMFORT TAG TEAM... GO!
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 26, 2012, 10:17:47 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 26, 2012, 10:14:11 PM
Quote from: Pixie on March 26, 2012, 10:06:06 PM
Who are these wankers? Can I beat them with a shovel?
They are the assholes who have, for several years, purported to be my friends.
I'm a bit slow on the uptake, but it's starting to dawn on me that they are not, in fact, very good friends.
No, it seems that they don't have a lot of respect for your time. Or your money, for that matter.
Some of them may just being having a thoughtless moment, but I'd still lower the fucking boom on them. Pitch a fucking wobbler the next time they bother you during the workday. They'll either straighten up or they won't.
You know, I've recently started to not be so nice about things. My therapist calls it "enforcing boundaries". :lulz:
There are a few people who don't talk to me so much, anymore.
Quote from: Cain on March 26, 2012, 10:16:01 PM
People who only talk to me when they want something = cut off.
Yeah, I've made a policy of that, IRL. Also, people who think my aid is somehow a given.
And another one: People who want you to help them move...But then make themselves scarce when they hear YOU'RE moving soon.
Lastly, I remember once upon a time, getting a PM from Lauren that said something like "Can you maybe post your sermons each week and then leave?" That was a classic.
Quote from: Nigel on March 26, 2012, 10:18:30 PM
Quote from: Cain on March 26, 2012, 10:16:01 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 26, 2012, 10:13:19 PM
Quote from: Cain on March 26, 2012, 09:55:42 PM
I'd drive to Canada with your friends.
I can repeat "are we nearly there yet" for hours on end.
You are SIGNED ON. :lulz:
I once nearly managed to get my own father to punch me through persistent use of that phrase. Before we'd even started the car, on a 12 hour drive down from Scotland.
Also, I've disowned a lot of my so-called friends lately, so I can sympathise. People who only talk to me when they want something = cut off.
I would really love to have a road trip that included you, Alty, Roger, and ECH in a big van with my friends. I think that would do a GREAT job of weeding them out. :lulz:
EXTREME DISCOMFORT TAG TEAM... GO!
Only if I get to eat loads of veggies first.
Quote from: Nigel on March 26, 2012, 10:18:30 PM
Quote from: Cain on March 26, 2012, 10:16:01 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 26, 2012, 10:13:19 PM
Quote from: Cain on March 26, 2012, 09:55:42 PM
I'd drive to Canada with your friends.
I can repeat "are we nearly there yet" for hours on end.
You are SIGNED ON. :lulz:
I once nearly managed to get my own father to punch me through persistent use of that phrase. Before we'd even started the car, on a 12 hour drive down from Scotland.
Also, I've disowned a lot of my so-called friends lately, so I can sympathise. People who only talk to me when they want something = cut off.
I would really love to have a road trip that included you, Alty, Roger, and ECH in a big van with my friends. I think that would do a GREAT job of weeding them out. :lulz:
EXTREME DISCOMFORT TAG TEAM... GO!
Referring them to GIGGLES would probably also have the desired effect.
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on March 26, 2012, 10:24:04 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 26, 2012, 10:18:30 PM
Quote from: Cain on March 26, 2012, 10:16:01 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 26, 2012, 10:13:19 PM
Quote from: Cain on March 26, 2012, 09:55:42 PM
I'd drive to Canada with your friends.
I can repeat "are we nearly there yet" for hours on end.
You are SIGNED ON. :lulz:
I once nearly managed to get my own father to punch me through persistent use of that phrase. Before we'd even started the car, on a 12 hour drive down from Scotland.
Also, I've disowned a lot of my so-called friends lately, so I can sympathise. People who only talk to me when they want something = cut off.
I would really love to have a road trip that included you, Alty, Roger, and ECH in a big van with my friends. I think that would do a GREAT job of weeding them out. :lulz:
EXTREME DISCOMFORT TAG TEAM... GO!
Referring them to GIGGLES would probably also have the desired effect.
For serious, though, Nigel needs to patch me in on speaker phone one of these days.
As either her spiritual advisor or her attorney.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 26, 2012, 10:29:38 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on March 26, 2012, 10:24:04 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 26, 2012, 10:18:30 PM
Quote from: Cain on March 26, 2012, 10:16:01 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 26, 2012, 10:13:19 PM
Quote from: Cain on March 26, 2012, 09:55:42 PM
I'd drive to Canada with your friends.
I can repeat "are we nearly there yet" for hours on end.
You are SIGNED ON. :lulz:
I once nearly managed to get my own father to punch me through persistent use of that phrase. Before we'd even started the car, on a 12 hour drive down from Scotland.
Also, I've disowned a lot of my so-called friends lately, so I can sympathise. People who only talk to me when they want something = cut off.
I would really love to have a road trip that included you, Alty, Roger, and ECH in a big van with my friends. I think that would do a GREAT job of weeding them out. :lulz:
EXTREME DISCOMFORT TAG TEAM... GO!
Referring them to GIGGLES would probably also have the desired effect.
For serious, though, Nigel needs to patch me in on speaker phone one of these days.
As either her spiritual advisor or her attorney.
O PLS O PLS O PLS!!!!!
AND YOUTUBE IT! :lulz:
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 26, 2012, 10:20:39 PM
Quote from: Cain on March 26, 2012, 10:16:01 PM
People who only talk to me when they want something = cut off.
Yeah, I've made a policy of that, IRL. Also, people who think my aid is somehow a given.
And another one: People who want you to help them move...But then make themselves scarce when they hear YOU'RE moving soon.
Lastly, I remember once upon a time, getting a PM from Lauren that said something like "Can you maybe post your sermons each week and then leave?" That was a classic.
I had a lot of angry texts last week. Apparently I'm a complete bastard for wanting back some books I lent 14 months ago, and asked for multiple times, and was flat out ignored all of those times. I had a "bad tone" which "didn't merit a response". Apparently helping someone through the majority of their degree, despite being desperately broke, looking for work all day, being chased by welfare officers, having bailiffs looking for me etc doesn't really count for anything, not even a "thank you" after graduation, and certainly not anything like answering my phone calls or bothering to talk to me more than once every three months. And asking politely, several dozen times, for my expensive textbooks to be returned, several months after they could be of any use? What a monster.
As for the friend who vanishes for weeks at a time, then only reappears when she needs a place to crash, or wants me to sort out her fucking atrocious, over-examined, train-wreck of a social life, or wants help on a paper for the degree it's taking her twice the normal time to complete...well, she's been told to suck it up as well.
I forgot one of the most important of the 48 Rules of Power. Surrounding myself with these kind of people is just leading to unnecessary stomach ulcers and wasted time. And lost books, apparently, which I'm still pissed about. I might have to throw a smoke grenade through her window when I'm next in the area.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 26, 2012, 10:21:17 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 26, 2012, 10:18:30 PM
Quote from: Cain on March 26, 2012, 10:16:01 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 26, 2012, 10:13:19 PM
Quote from: Cain on March 26, 2012, 09:55:42 PM
I'd drive to Canada with your friends.
I can repeat "are we nearly there yet" for hours on end.
You are SIGNED ON. :lulz:
I once nearly managed to get my own father to punch me through persistent use of that phrase. Before we'd even started the car, on a 12 hour drive down from Scotland.
Also, I've disowned a lot of my so-called friends lately, so I can sympathise. People who only talk to me when they want something = cut off.
I would really love to have a road trip that included you, Alty, Roger, and ECH in a big van with my friends. I think that would do a GREAT job of weeding them out. :lulz:
EXTREME DISCOMFORT TAG TEAM... GO!
Only if I get to eat loads of veggies first.
Oh, that's a GIVEN. :lol:
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 26, 2012, 10:29:38 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on March 26, 2012, 10:24:04 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 26, 2012, 10:18:30 PM
Quote from: Cain on March 26, 2012, 10:16:01 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 26, 2012, 10:13:19 PM
Quote from: Cain on March 26, 2012, 09:55:42 PM
I'd drive to Canada with your friends.
I can repeat "are we nearly there yet" for hours on end.
You are SIGNED ON. :lulz:
I once nearly managed to get my own father to punch me through persistent use of that phrase. Before we'd even started the car, on a 12 hour drive down from Scotland.
Also, I've disowned a lot of my so-called friends lately, so I can sympathise. People who only talk to me when they want something = cut off.
I would really love to have a road trip that included you, Alty, Roger, and ECH in a big van with my friends. I think that would do a GREAT job of weeding them out. :lulz:
EXTREME DISCOMFORT TAG TEAM... GO!
Referring them to GIGGLES would probably also have the desired effect.
For serious, though, Nigel needs to patch me in on speaker phone one of these days.
As either her spiritual advisor or her attorney.
OOOH. YES.
Cain, I have a friend to whom I lent a couple of CDs, including a very hard to replace Hawaiian CD that I loved, and a rather expensive space heater. Eventually, after being stalled on the return of these items for YEARS on the premise that she was "still using them", I realized that not only was I not going to give them back, but that she never had any intention of returning them.
The last time she asked me if she could borrow something, I told her that she could, as soon as she returned the other things she had borrowed. I almost never hear from her anymore... although, amazingly, a couple of weeks ago she asked me what I thought of her entering a "financially beneficial" relationship with an older man. I told her exactly what I think, and she never responded. :roll:
Quote from: Nigel on March 26, 2012, 10:44:16 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 26, 2012, 10:29:38 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on March 26, 2012, 10:24:04 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 26, 2012, 10:18:30 PM
Quote from: Cain on March 26, 2012, 10:16:01 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 26, 2012, 10:13:19 PM
Quote from: Cain on March 26, 2012, 09:55:42 PM
I'd drive to Canada with your friends.
I can repeat "are we nearly there yet" for hours on end.
You are SIGNED ON. :lulz:
I once nearly managed to get my own father to punch me through persistent use of that phrase. Before we'd even started the car, on a 12 hour drive down from Scotland.
Also, I've disowned a lot of my so-called friends lately, so I can sympathise. People who only talk to me when they want something = cut off.
I would really love to have a road trip that included you, Alty, Roger, and ECH in a big van with my friends. I think that would do a GREAT job of weeding them out. :lulz:
EXTREME DISCOMFORT TAG TEAM... GO!
Referring them to GIGGLES would probably also have the desired effect.
For serious, though, Nigel needs to patch me in on speaker phone one of these days.
As either her spiritual advisor or her attorney.
OOOH. YES.
I'm free until 8 PM on weeknights, any time on weekends, and the only compensation I ask for is the impotent rage of your "friends".
Cain and Nigel's friends are dicks. :sad:
In addition to throwing a wobbler, start asking them for things every time you talk to them. Only talk to them if you want something, or ask them to do stuff when you know they've got important things to do that must be done. Turn it back on them. They probably won't realize the irony, but it'll be funny.
I ended up telling that friend to "keep the damn books, but delete this number". I've bought newer replacements, some of which have arrived today. I can afford it, but it's the principle, of the thing, of course. The books are really just the tip of the iceberg, which is the way I've been essentially discarded from her social circle since she's graduated and no longer needs to message me at 11pm, panicked and near-crying about a due paper. I'm no longer useful, so why talk to me?
That's what stings. That and the presumption of a friendship which never existed.
Quote from: Cain on March 26, 2012, 10:52:46 PM
I ended up telling that friend to "keep the damn books, but delete this number". I've bought newer replacements, some of which have arrived today. I can afford it, but it's the principle, of the thing, of course. The books are really just the tip of the iceberg, which is the way I've been essentially discarded from her social circle since she's graduated and no longer needs to message me at 11pm, panicked and near-crying about a due paper. I'm no longer useful, so why talk to me?
That's what stings. That and the presumption of a friendship which never existed.
Oh, yeah. I'd never acknowledge her existence again.
Sometimes you just have to TAKE it back. And if they won't answer the door, I've had friends they WOULD let in bring me over. Then I'd hang out until they stop being uncomfortable and it gets boring and say, "Well, see ya later. I'm taking my cd/book/bike."
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 26, 2012, 10:48:58 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 26, 2012, 10:44:16 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 26, 2012, 10:29:38 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on March 26, 2012, 10:24:04 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 26, 2012, 10:18:30 PM
Quote from: Cain on March 26, 2012, 10:16:01 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 26, 2012, 10:13:19 PM
Quote from: Cain on March 26, 2012, 09:55:42 PM
I'd drive to Canada with your friends.
I can repeat "are we nearly there yet" for hours on end.
You are SIGNED ON. :lulz:
I once nearly managed to get my own father to punch me through persistent use of that phrase. Before we'd even started the car, on a 12 hour drive down from Scotland.
Also, I've disowned a lot of my so-called friends lately, so I can sympathise. People who only talk to me when they want something = cut off.
I would really love to have a road trip that included you, Alty, Roger, and ECH in a big van with my friends. I think that would do a GREAT job of weeding them out. :lulz:
EXTREME DISCOMFORT TAG TEAM... GO!
Referring them to GIGGLES would probably also have the desired effect.
For serious, though, Nigel needs to patch me in on speaker phone one of these days.
As either her spiritual advisor or her attorney.
OOOH. YES.
I'm free until 8 PM on weeknights, any time on weekends, and the only compensation I ask for is the impotent rage of your "friends".
Noted. :lulz:
Quote from: Cain on March 26, 2012, 10:52:46 PM
I ended up telling that friend to "keep the damn books, but delete this number". I've bought newer replacements, some of which have arrived today. I can afford it, but it's the principle, of the thing, of course. The books are really just the tip of the iceberg, which is the way I've been essentially discarded from her social circle since she's graduated and no longer needs to message me at 11pm, panicked and near-crying about a due paper. I'm no longer useful, so why talk to me?
That's what stings. That and the presumption of a friendship which never existed.
I've had that happen before. And yep, it really does sting.
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on March 26, 2012, 10:49:41 PM
Cain and Nigel's friends are dicks. :sad:
In addition to throwing a wobbler, start asking them for things every time you talk to them. Only talk to them if you want something, or ask them to do stuff when you know they've got important things to do that must be done. Turn it back on them. They probably won't realize the irony, but it'll be funny.
My favorite solution, so far, is to just not talk to them anymore. :lol:
As to OP:
There's something about people who want to have a certain lifestyle so badly they just don't want to accept that they need to change their behavior. "Oh my life is wonderful! I'm so happy. I do THIS and I do THAT and it fulfills me." Yet these people often ignore the very real things that are required for an adult to stand on their own two feet. What's hilarious about this is that I used to be one of these people. Now I'm just tired because I must do it all. Do me a favor and make my life easier and better and I will do the same. Yeah? No? OK. Let's just drop everything and party. Sorry. Yeah. Uh-huh.
I guard my time ruthlessly with people IRL. I had a guy come over when I should have been doing homework and repeatedly ask me a question then ignore the answer in favor giving homage to his phone. "I had a great time." I didn't fuck off forever AND GIVE ME $20 ASSFACE FOR MY TIME FUCK YOU.
Yeah.
Quote from: Alty on March 27, 2012, 12:17:35 AM
As to OP:
There's something about people who want to have a certain lifestyle so badly they just don't want to accept that they need to change their behavior. "Oh my life is wonderful! I'm so happy. I do THIS and I do THAT and it fulfills me." Yet these people often ignore the very real things that are required for an adult to stand on their own two feet. What's hilarious about this is that I used to be one of these people. Now I'm just tired because I must do it all. Do me a favor and make my life easier and better and I will do the same. Yeah? No? OK. Let's just drop everything and party. Sorry. Yeah. Uh-huh.
I guard my time ruthlessly with people IRL. I had a guy come over when I should have been doing homework and repeatedly ask me a question then ignore the answer in favor giving homage to his phone. "I had a great time." I didn't fuck off forever AND GIVE ME $20 ASSFACE FOR MY TIME FUCK YOU.
Yeah.
What I love most about Alty is his calm, Buddha-like demeanor.
I am the essence of calm. I am calm incarnate.
I only have two ways that I deal with people who say they're my friend but only ever ask me for things or don't talk to me unless it's convenient for them.
1.) Never talk to them ever again. If they get pissy about it then I tell them to fuck off and go bother someone else.
2.) I curse like a sailor and just act like a pompous dick until they leave or have a hissy fit. It's actually pretty funny when they throw tantrums.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 27, 2012, 04:18:34 AM
Quote from: Alty on March 27, 2012, 12:17:35 AM
As to OP:
There's something about people who want to have a certain lifestyle so badly they just don't want to accept that they need to change their behavior. "Oh my life is wonderful! I'm so happy. I do THIS and I do THAT and it fulfills me." Yet these people often ignore the very real things that are required for an adult to stand on their own two feet. What's hilarious about this is that I used to be one of these people. Now I'm just tired because I must do it all. Do me a favor and make my life easier and better and I will do the same. Yeah? No? OK. Let's just drop everything and party. Sorry. Yeah. Uh-huh.
I guard my time ruthlessly with people IRL. I had a guy come over when I should have been doing homework and repeatedly ask me a question then ignore the answer in favor giving homage to his phone. "I had a great time." I didn't fuck off forever AND GIVE ME $20 ASSFACE FOR MY TIME FUCK YOU.
Yeah.
What I love most about Alty is his calm, Buddha-like demeanor.
It is most masterful when he's toying with ammo on the kitchen counter.
Alty has only ever been accused of a Zen-like, mindful attitude towards violence.
Quote from: Alty on March 27, 2012, 05:17:21 AM
I am the essence of calm. I am calm incarnate.
Says the guy who was gonna shit on the golf course green and stick a flag in it. :lulz:
You, sir, are an America-hating commie and should be deported back to Belgrade.
NNNNNNNNG
Housemate just popped out of bed and asked me what the next step in making bread is, as I sit here groggily sipping my tea.
I was not pleasant in my reply. I am not a live-in life tutor.
Quote from: Nigel on March 27, 2012, 04:49:55 PM
NNNNNNNNG
Housemate just popped out of bed and asked me what the next step in making bread is, as I sit here groggily sipping my tea.
I was not pleasant in my reply. I am not a live-in life tutor.
As your attorney, I suggest you revisit the conversation, and give her incorrect instructions.
Yeast is for sissies.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 27, 2012, 04:54:01 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 27, 2012, 04:49:55 PM
NNNNNNNNG
Housemate just popped out of bed and asked me what the next step in making bread is, as I sit here groggily sipping my tea.
I was not pleasant in my reply. I am not a live-in life tutor.
As your attorney, I suggest you revisit the conversation, and give her incorrect instructions.
Yeast is for sissies.
:lulz: The yeast is already in it, as this is the second day she has pestered me about this.
Basically, I made bread a couple of weeks ago, and she said "OOH next time I'll watch you so I know how to do it!"
Then that morphed to "Can you walk me through making bread this weekend?"
But then she didn't do it this weekend, and decided that in between tests while I was trying to scarf down some lunch yesterday was the right time to corner me and demand my time. Which I was none too pleased about, but told her how to start a basic sponge. I wasn't really expecting her to launch out of bed and demand further tutoring first thing in the morning.
Quote from: Nigel on March 27, 2012, 05:04:32 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 27, 2012, 04:54:01 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 27, 2012, 04:49:55 PM
NNNNNNNNG
Housemate just popped out of bed and asked me what the next step in making bread is, as I sit here groggily sipping my tea.
I was not pleasant in my reply. I am not a live-in life tutor.
As your attorney, I suggest you revisit the conversation, and give her incorrect instructions.
Yeast is for sissies.
:lulz: The yeast is already in it, as this is the second day she has pestered me about this.
Basically, I made bread a couple of weeks ago, and she said "OOH next time I'll watch you so I know how to do it!"
Then that morphed to "Can you walk me through making bread this weekend?"
But then she didn't do it this weekend, and decided that in between tests while I was trying to scarf down some lunch yesterday was the right time to corner me and demand my time. Which I was none too pleased about, but told her how to start a basic sponge. I wasn't really expecting her to launch out of bed and demand further tutoring first thing in the morning.
Can't you just whack her with the rolling pin or throw some hot glass on her or something?
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 27, 2012, 05:06:03 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 27, 2012, 05:04:32 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 27, 2012, 04:54:01 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 27, 2012, 04:49:55 PM
NNNNNNNNG
Housemate just popped out of bed and asked me what the next step in making bread is, as I sit here groggily sipping my tea.
I was not pleasant in my reply. I am not a live-in life tutor.
As your attorney, I suggest you revisit the conversation, and give her incorrect instructions.
Yeast is for sissies.
:lulz: The yeast is already in it, as this is the second day she has pestered me about this.
Basically, I made bread a couple of weeks ago, and she said "OOH next time I'll watch you so I know how to do it!"
Then that morphed to "Can you walk me through making bread this weekend?"
But then she didn't do it this weekend, and decided that in between tests while I was trying to scarf down some lunch yesterday was the right time to corner me and demand my time. Which I was none too pleased about, but told her how to start a basic sponge. I wasn't really expecting her to launch out of bed and demand further tutoring first thing in the morning.
Can't you just whack her with the rolling pin or throw some hot glass on her or something?
For this one, I think what I need is a rolled-up newspaper and a squirt bottle.
Cain's guide to making bread.
"Its fucking bread. Humanity figured out this shit around the same time it managed to learn to eat non-raw meat. I'm sure you can manage."
This is because I am a paragon of virtue, and dedicated to a life of education and scholarly pursuits.
Quote from: Nigel on March 27, 2012, 05:06:42 PM
For this one, I think what I need is a rolled-up newspaper and a squirt bottle.
Well, whichever. You have to be firm. You have to say "no", or she'll be interrupting you when you're on one of
those kind of drunks, you know? And you WILL be held accountable for what happens next. You live in Portland. The police are
not on your side.
Quote from: Cain on March 27, 2012, 05:08:31 PM
Cain's guide to making bread.
"Its fucking bread. Humanity figured out this shit around the same time it managed to learn to eat non-raw meat. I'm sure you can manage."
This is because I am a paragon of virtue, and dedicated to a life of education and scholarly pursuits.
Part of the problem here is that she wants me to give her detailed instructions, which don't exist because I just wing it. But she can't comprehend "winging it", so she's always "BUT HOW MUCH, EXACTLY?"
If she wants a recipe, she should follow a recipe. If she wants to make bread the way I make bread, she needs to learn to fucking wing it.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 27, 2012, 05:09:53 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 27, 2012, 05:06:42 PM
For this one, I think what I need is a rolled-up newspaper and a squirt bottle.
Well, whichever. You have to be firm. You have to say "no", or she'll be interrupting you when you're on one of those kind of drunks, you know? And you WILL be held accountable for what happens next. You live in Portland. The police are not on your side.
I swear to god I'm going to lock her in the chicken coop.
It has a deadbolt. Just in case.
Quote from: Nigel on March 27, 2012, 05:12:21 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 27, 2012, 05:09:53 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 27, 2012, 05:06:42 PM
For this one, I think what I need is a rolled-up newspaper and a squirt bottle.
Well, whichever. You have to be firm. You have to say "no", or she'll be interrupting you when you're on one of those kind of drunks, you know? And you WILL be held accountable for what happens next. You live in Portland. The police are not on your side.
I swear to god I'm going to lock her in the chicken coop.
It has a deadbolt. Just in case.
When the police show up, tell them it's her kink and that she refuses to say the safeword, no matter how hard you plead. Tell them to take her away and get her the help she needs.
What confuses me is that there are, you know, recipies for this sort of thing. Entire books devoted to it. And, of course, there's Google.
Unless your bread cures cancer or something, I don't see why she needs to do it the way you do.
It's her indirect way of saying she wants you to drop everything and make it FOR her, Nigel.
What Dok said. Kink. Safeword.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 27, 2012, 05:13:39 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 27, 2012, 05:12:21 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 27, 2012, 05:09:53 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 27, 2012, 05:06:42 PM
For this one, I think what I need is a rolled-up newspaper and a squirt bottle.
Well, whichever. You have to be firm. You have to say "no", or she'll be interrupting you when you're on one of those kind of drunks, you know? And you WILL be held accountable for what happens next. You live in Portland. The police are not on your side.
I swear to god I'm going to lock her in the chicken coop.
It has a deadbolt. Just in case.
When the police show up, tell them it's her kink and that she refuses to say the safeword, no matter how hard you plead. Tell them to take her away and get her the help she needs.
:lulz:
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on March 27, 2012, 05:14:30 PM
What confuses me is that there are, you know, recipies for this sort of thing. Entire books devoted to it. And, of course, there's Google.
Unless your bread cures cancer or something, I don't see why she needs to do it the way you do.
She thinks I'm magic because I can make bread without a recipe by winging it.
She thinks that if I tell her
exactly how I do it, the magic will be conferred upon her, too.
It is an epic case of pissing the point.
Of course, worse things happen in America every day. For example, a half a million people per year go to see THIS, for reasons that MAKE NO SENSE:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corn_Palace
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on March 27, 2012, 05:28:54 PM
It's her indirect way of saying she wants you to drop everything and make it FOR her, Nigel.
What Dok said. Kink. Safeword.
I think that in this case, she really wants my bread juju. :lulz:
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 27, 2012, 05:35:29 PM
Of course, worse things happen in America every day. For example, a half a million people per year go to see THIS, for reasons that MAKE NO SENSE:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corn_Palace
WHAT THE HELL?
:lulz: :argh!: :lulz: :argh!:
Quote from: Nigel on March 27, 2012, 05:37:42 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 27, 2012, 05:35:29 PM
Of course, worse things happen in America every day. For example, a half a million people per year go to see THIS, for reasons that MAKE NO SENSE:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corn_Palace
WHAT THE HELL?
:lulz: :argh!: :lulz: :argh!:
One out of every 618 Americans go there EVERY YEAR.
Quote from: Nigel on March 27, 2012, 05:11:28 PM
Quote from: Cain on March 27, 2012, 05:08:31 PM
Cain's guide to making bread.
"Its fucking bread. Humanity figured out this shit around the same time it managed to learn to eat non-raw meat. I'm sure you can manage."
This is because I am a paragon of virtue, and dedicated to a life of education and scholarly pursuits.
Part of the problem here is that she wants me to give her detailed instructions, which don't exist because I just wing it. But she can't comprehend "winging it", so she's always "BUT HOW MUCH, EXACTLY?"
If she wants a recipe, she should follow a recipe. If she wants to make bread the way I make bread, she needs to learn to fucking wing it.
Oh, she's one of
those.
The only solution is to throw her into a situation where she has to wing it or die.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 27, 2012, 05:41:03 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 27, 2012, 05:37:42 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 27, 2012, 05:35:29 PM
Of course, worse things happen in America every day. For example, a half a million people per year go to see THIS, for reasons that MAKE NO SENSE:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corn_Palace
WHAT THE HELL?
:lulz: :argh!: :lulz: :argh!:
One out of every 618 Americans go there EVERY YEAR.
Not suprised.
:teabagger1:
Also, she will NEVER get your bread juju, Nigel. She wants
instruction. Dough is a moody thing that behaves different ways according to the weather and she won't be able to roll with that. Tell her to go practice for ten years.
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on March 27, 2012, 05:51:05 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 27, 2012, 05:41:03 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 27, 2012, 05:37:42 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 27, 2012, 05:35:29 PM
Of course, worse things happen in America every day. For example, a half a million people per year go to see THIS, for reasons that MAKE NO SENSE:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corn_Palace
WHAT THE HELL?
:lulz: :argh!: :lulz: :argh!:
One out of every 618 Americans go there EVERY YEAR.
Not suprised.
:teabagger1:
Also, she will NEVER get your bread juju, Nigel. She wants instruction. Dough is a moody thing that behaves different ways according to the weather and she won't be able to roll with that. Tell her to go practice for ten years.
I see what you did there.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on March 27, 2012, 05:56:48 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on March 27, 2012, 05:51:05 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 27, 2012, 05:41:03 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 27, 2012, 05:37:42 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 27, 2012, 05:35:29 PM
Of course, worse things happen in America every day. For example, a half a million people per year go to see THIS, for reasons that MAKE NO SENSE:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corn_Palace
WHAT THE HELL?
:lulz: :argh!: :lulz: :argh!:
One out of every 618 Americans go there EVERY YEAR.
Not suprised.
:teabagger1:
Also, she will NEVER get your bread juju, Nigel. She wants instruction. Dough is a moody thing that behaves different ways according to the weather and she won't be able to roll with that. Tell her to go practice for ten years.
I see what you did there.
Is there a Law of Fives emote?
There kneads to be. :lulz:
Hate to jump on that needy train, but if any menial jobs are getting turned down, go ahead and shoot them over to me. I'm not above menial, nor pitching a tent in PDX till menial becomes rent. Just sayin.
Just a friendly warning; if this thread turns into a pun-fest I'm going to ask to have it split.
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on March 27, 2012, 06:16:35 PM
Hate to jump on that needy train, but if any menial jobs are getting turned down, go ahead and shoot them over to me. I'm not above menial, nor pitching a tent in PDX till menial becomes rent. Just sayin.
"Menial" is subject to interpretation depending on your pre-existing skillset, but it's quite possible that I could connect you with an employer. Do you have any med-tech background at all?
Quote from: Cain on March 27, 2012, 05:48:26 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 27, 2012, 05:11:28 PM
Quote from: Cain on March 27, 2012, 05:08:31 PM
Cain's guide to making bread.
"Its fucking bread. Humanity figured out this shit around the same time it managed to learn to eat non-raw meat. I'm sure you can manage."
This is because I am a paragon of virtue, and dedicated to a life of education and scholarly pursuits.
Part of the problem here is that she wants me to give her detailed instructions, which don't exist because I just wing it. But she can't comprehend "winging it", so she's always "BUT HOW MUCH, EXACTLY?"
If she wants a recipe, she should follow a recipe. If she wants to make bread the way I make bread, she needs to learn to fucking wing it.
Oh, she's one of those.
The only solution is to throw her into a situation where she has to wing it or die.
Lock her in the kitchen with nothing but bread ingredients for a month?
(https://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyw5cwKF4l1qcptr6o1_500.jpg)
I repeat until desired result is achieved.
Quote from: Nigel on March 25, 2012, 04:10:27 AM
He looks like someone who would be very pleasant and fun to hang out with, which very much belies his gruff and anti-social persona (which I do not actually believe for a minute, FYI, even if I occasionally get annoyed at it. I strongly suspect him of being secretly a sweetheart).
This kinda surprised me and I think it's worth mentioning here because I am (I think) pleasant and fun to hang out with but only if you're one of the few who reciprocates that ethos. Needy, whiny, annoying dickheads on the other hand probably come away with a slightly different impression of me. I enjoy seeing their dumb little smiley faces crumple into shock and pain almost as much as I enjoy kicking back with the cool kids and having a laugh.
All men are not equal and some of them deserve to be hurt. The quicker I can work out which is which and act accordingly, the more straightforward my life seems to get.
Quote from: Nigel on March 27, 2012, 06:26:23 PM
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on March 27, 2012, 06:16:35 PM
Hate to jump on that needy train, but if any menial jobs are getting turned down, go ahead and shoot them over to me. I'm not above menial, nor pitching a tent in PDX till menial becomes rent. Just sayin.
"Menial" is subject to interpretation depending on your pre-existing skillset, but it's quite possible that I could connect you with an employer. Do you have any med-tech background at all?
Admin/clerical side mainly. Medical transcription for many years, and some light hands on vet-tech (chemo and sx) duties secondary to admin asst stint at Veterinary teaching hospital.
My skill-set's all over the place. I have a half-assed coding portfolio that CSU was kind enough to let me claim authorship of, even though I don't "own" any of my programs. The med transcription, insurance risk assessment, retail management, sales, CIS, Shipping/receiving, stage management (not IATSE yet, but eligible), acting, Drywall, vacuum/sewing repair, and I have absolutely no problem putting in 40+ scrubbing toilets...anything outside of those areas I'd prolly have to fake, though.
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on March 27, 2012, 07:59:56 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 27, 2012, 06:26:23 PM
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on March 27, 2012, 06:16:35 PM
Hate to jump on that needy train, but if any menial jobs are getting turned down, go ahead and shoot them over to me. I'm not above menial, nor pitching a tent in PDX till menial becomes rent. Just sayin.
"Menial" is subject to interpretation depending on your pre-existing skillset, but it's quite possible that I could connect you with an employer. Do you have any med-tech background at all?
Admin/clerical side mainly. Medical transcription for many years, and some light hands on vet-tech (chemo and sx) duties secondary to admin asst stint at Veterinary teaching hospital.
My skill-set's all over the place. I have a half-assed coding portfolio that CSU was kind enough to let me claim authorship of, even though I don't "own" any of my programs. The med transcription, insurance risk assessment, retail management, sales, CIS, Shipping/receiving, stage management (not IATSE yet, but eligible), acting, Drywall, vacuum/sewing repair, and I have absolutely no problem putting in 40+ scrubbing toilets...anything outside of those areas I'd prolly have to fake, though.
Do you have a degree, and can you work with cadavers?
Quote from: Nigel on March 26, 2012, 10:14:11 PM
Quote from: Pixie on March 26, 2012, 10:06:06 PM
Who are these wankers? Can I beat them with a shovel?
They are the assholes who have, for several years, purported to be my friends.
I'm a bit slow on the uptake, but it's starting to dawn on me that they are not, in fact, very good friends.
A BIT SLOW ON THE UPTAKE. THAT MEANS I NEED TO PAY SOMEONE THIRTY BUCKS TO REPLACE MY WASHER FLUID, RITE?
In other words: I feel ya.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 27, 2012, 04:47:47 PM
Quote from: Alty on March 27, 2012, 05:17:21 AM
I am the essence of calm. I am calm incarnate.
Says the guy who was gonna shit on the golf course green and stick a flag in it. :lulz:
You, sir, are an America-hating commie and should be deported back to Belgrade.
I much prefer to poop on the lawns of my enemies and stick in a lover-ly cocktail umbrella and a krazy-straw...you know, that shit is killer on your teeth if you're not careful.
Quote from: navkat on March 28, 2012, 04:18:13 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 27, 2012, 04:47:47 PM
Quote from: Alty on March 27, 2012, 05:17:21 AM
I am the essence of calm. I am calm incarnate.
Says the guy who was gonna shit on the golf course green and stick a flag in it. :lulz:
You, sir, are an America-hating commie and should be deported back to Belgrade.
I much prefer to poop on the lawns of my enemies and stick in a lover-ly cocktail umbrella and a krazy-straw...you know, that shit is killer on your teeth if you're not careful.
Watch it, Missy...I AM AN ANGRY BLACK WOMAN.
Quote from: Nigel on March 27, 2012, 08:30:29 PM
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on March 27, 2012, 07:59:56 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 27, 2012, 06:26:23 PM
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on March 27, 2012, 06:16:35 PM
Hate to jump on that needy train, but if any menial jobs are getting turned down, go ahead and shoot them over to me. I'm not above menial, nor pitching a tent in PDX till menial becomes rent. Just sayin.
"Menial" is subject to interpretation depending on your pre-existing skillset, but it's quite possible that I could connect you with an employer. Do you have any med-tech background at all?
Admin/clerical side mainly. Medical transcription for many years, and some light hands on vet-tech (chemo and sx) duties secondary to admin asst stint at Veterinary teaching hospital.
My skill-set's all over the place. I have a half-assed coding portfolio that CSU was kind enough to let me claim authorship of, even though I don't "own" any of my programs. The med transcription, insurance risk assessment, retail management, sales, CIS, Shipping/receiving, stage management (not IATSE yet, but eligible), acting, Drywall, vacuum/sewing repair, and I have absolutely no problem putting in 40+ scrubbing toilets...anything outside of those areas I'd prolly have to fake, though.
Do you have a degree, and can you work with cadavers?
No degree. Certificates not remotely related.
...and I could definitely work with cadavers.
Day labor's hopping out here in Go-Beaversburg so things are a lot more cushiony at the moment. Got signed on with worksource and I'm shopping like a mutha to get into Eugene or PDX, though (fingers crossed for the north...I've already done a few decades in a college town. My debt to society has been paid, and then some).
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on March 28, 2012, 11:51:06 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 27, 2012, 08:30:29 PM
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on March 27, 2012, 07:59:56 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 27, 2012, 06:26:23 PM
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on March 27, 2012, 06:16:35 PM
Hate to jump on that needy train, but if any menial jobs are getting turned down, go ahead and shoot them over to me. I'm not above menial, nor pitching a tent in PDX till menial becomes rent. Just sayin.
"Menial" is subject to interpretation depending on your pre-existing skillset, but it's quite possible that I could connect you with an employer. Do you have any med-tech background at all?
Admin/clerical side mainly. Medical transcription for many years, and some light hands on vet-tech (chemo and sx) duties secondary to admin asst stint at Veterinary teaching hospital.
My skill-set's all over the place. I have a half-assed coding portfolio that CSU was kind enough to let me claim authorship of, even though I don't "own" any of my programs. The med transcription, insurance risk assessment, retail management, sales, CIS, Shipping/receiving, stage management (not IATSE yet, but eligible), acting, Drywall, vacuum/sewing repair, and I have absolutely no problem putting in 40+ scrubbing toilets...anything outside of those areas I'd prolly have to fake, though.
Do you have a degree, and can you work with cadavers?
No degree. Certificates not remotely related.
...and I could definitely work with cadavers.
Day labor's hopping out here in Go-Beaversburg so things are a lot more cushiony at the moment. Got signed on with worksource and I'm shopping like a mutha to get into Eugene or PDX, though (fingers crossed for the north...I've already done a few decades in a college town. My debt to society has been paid, and then some).
Hmmm. Depending on what your resume looks like, I might suggest that you apply. But you should be aware that when I say "work with cadavers" I mean "make medically precise examinations and tissue extractions".
I think she's trying to bond with you, Nigel. It isn't just bread juju she wants. It's ALL of your juju. Next she'll ask you to show her how to make beads.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 29, 2012, 07:38:26 AM
I think she's trying to bond with you, Nigel. It isn't just bread juju she wants. It's ALL of your juju. Next she'll ask you to show her how to make beads.
Nooooooooo! :x
Actually I really really like her, she's an awesome person, despite how these most unflattering vignettes must make her sound. I just don't like living with people who haven't, in one way or another, been inside my body.
Quote from: Nigel on March 29, 2012, 07:45:18 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 29, 2012, 07:38:26 AM
I think she's trying to bond with you, Nigel. It isn't just bread juju she wants. It's ALL of your juju. Next she'll ask you to show her how to make beads.
Nooooooooo! :x
Actually I really really like her, she's an awesome person, despite how these most unflattering vignettes must make her sound. I just don't like living with people who haven't, in one way or another, been inside my body.
There's probably an interesting essay or kinky poem to be written based on that observation.
Quote from: Cainad on March 29, 2012, 07:47:06 AM
Quote from: Nigel on March 29, 2012, 07:45:18 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 29, 2012, 07:38:26 AM
I think she's trying to bond with you, Nigel. It isn't just bread juju she wants. It's ALL of your juju. Next she'll ask you to show her how to make beads.
Nooooooooo! :x
Actually I really really like her, she's an awesome person, despite how these most unflattering vignettes must make her sound. I just don't like living with people who haven't, in one way or another, been inside my body.
There's probably an interesting essay or kinky poem to be written based on that observation.
I think that it may be mostly an observation on my own personality defects, as the reason that I can tolerate those who have either visited or originated within my interior is that I, on some level, own them.
That sounds awful. But it's true.
Quote from: Nigel on March 29, 2012, 07:50:34 AM
Quote from: Cainad on March 29, 2012, 07:47:06 AM
Quote from: Nigel on March 29, 2012, 07:45:18 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 29, 2012, 07:38:26 AM
I think she's trying to bond with you, Nigel. It isn't just bread juju she wants. It's ALL of your juju. Next she'll ask you to show her how to make beads.
Nooooooooo! :x
Actually I really really like her, she's an awesome person, despite how these most unflattering vignettes must make her sound. I just don't like living with people who haven't, in one way or another, been inside my body.
There's probably an interesting essay or kinky poem to be written based on that observation.
I think that it may be mostly an observation on my own personality defects, as the reason that I can tolerate those who have either visited or originated within my interior is that I, on some level, own them.
That sounds awful. But it's true.
There's an easy solution for this.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 29, 2012, 07:55:32 AM
Quote from: Nigel on March 29, 2012, 07:50:34 AM
Quote from: Cainad on March 29, 2012, 07:47:06 AM
Quote from: Nigel on March 29, 2012, 07:45:18 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 29, 2012, 07:38:26 AM
I think she's trying to bond with you, Nigel. It isn't just bread juju she wants. It's ALL of your juju. Next she'll ask you to show her how to make beads.
Nooooooooo! :x
Actually I really really like her, she's an awesome person, despite how these most unflattering vignettes must make her sound. I just don't like living with people who haven't, in one way or another, been inside my body.
There's probably an interesting essay or kinky poem to be written based on that observation.
I think that it may be mostly an observation on my own personality defects, as the reason that I can tolerate those who have either visited or originated within my interior is that I, on some level, own them.
That sounds awful. But it's true.
There's an easy solution for this.
IF YOU ARE SUGGESTING HAVING SEX WITH MY HOUSE MATE THAT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! :argh!:
I think she meant that you should swallow housemate whole and then regurgitate her. Seems much more sensible to me.
Quote from: Cainad on March 29, 2012, 08:40:31 AM
I think she meant that you should swallow housemate whole and then regurgitate her. Seems much more sensible to me.
That is also possible! But she is a nice girl and I would rather foster her sense of independence.
Also, her bread turned out good and she started a second batch on her own. This one is but young, and will grow.
Quote from: Cainad on March 29, 2012, 07:47:06 AM
Quote from: Nigel on March 29, 2012, 07:45:18 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 29, 2012, 07:38:26 AM
I think she's trying to bond with you, Nigel. It isn't just bread juju she wants. It's ALL of your juju. Next she'll ask you to show her how to make beads.
Nooooooooo! :x
Actually I really really like her, she's an awesome person, despite how these most unflattering vignettes must make her sound. I just don't like living with people who haven't, in one way or another, been inside my body.
There's probably an interesting essay or kinky poem to be written based on that observation.
When in doubt, always take the route that can result in vore slashfic.
Quote from: Cain on March 29, 2012, 11:48:14 AM
Quote from: Cainad on March 29, 2012, 07:47:06 AM
Quote from: Nigel on March 29, 2012, 07:45:18 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 29, 2012, 07:38:26 AM
I think she's trying to bond with you, Nigel. It isn't just bread juju she wants. It's ALL of your juju. Next she'll ask you to show her how to make beads.
Nooooooooo! :x
Actually I really really like her, she's an awesome person, despite how these most unflattering vignettes must make her sound. I just don't like living with people who haven't, in one way or another, been inside my body.
There's probably an interesting essay or kinky poem to be written based on that observation.
When in doubt, always take the route that can result in vore slashfic.
I... I had to google that. And now I hate you. :horrormirth:
Quote from: Nigel on March 29, 2012, 07:45:18 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 29, 2012, 07:38:26 AM
I think she's trying to bond with you, Nigel. It isn't just bread juju she wants. It's ALL of your juju. Next she'll ask you to show her how to make beads.
Nooooooooo! :x
How hard can it be?
Got no brain ---> :whack: <--- Got no sense.
Dok,
Stuck his junk in an electric fence.
Quote from: Nigel on March 29, 2012, 04:08:44 PM
Quote from: Cain on March 29, 2012, 11:48:14 AM
Quote from: Cainad on March 29, 2012, 07:47:06 AM
Quote from: Nigel on March 29, 2012, 07:45:18 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 29, 2012, 07:38:26 AM
I think she's trying to bond with you, Nigel. It isn't just bread juju she wants. It's ALL of your juju. Next she'll ask you to show her how to make beads.
Nooooooooo! :x
Actually I really really like her, she's an awesome person, despite how these most unflattering vignettes must make her sound. I just don't like living with people who haven't, in one way or another, been inside my body.
There's probably an interesting essay or kinky poem to be written based on that observation.
When in doubt, always take the route that can result in vore slashfic.
I... I had to google that. And now I hate you. :horrormirth:
:thanks:
:lulz: :golfclap: