Principia Discordia

Friends!

It is time for the ruling council to formally pass the buck to a new MEXICO. We have plundered all we can from this position, and are quite frankly, bored.

Thus we now open nominations for the new MEXICO.

So far the candidates are:

Known self confessed lizard person TGGR - He has made claims that he will deliver the second part of the joke. His is a Known and self confessed lizard person. These factors must surely weigh upon your decision.

Deposed Mexico EOC - No second part of the joke. Claimed you would come crawling back to him. Will you?

The Current interim ruling Junta - We never wanted this. But we have gifted all we could while we got it. BORED NOW.

New candidates may apply now.

Standard voting rules for new MEXICOS apply. All decisions ultimately arbitrary and final. No arguments.


So rejoice, a new MEXICO will soon be upon us.

I played it safe and voted for all three. 

I have played it safer still and placed you into the poll. We wish no further part in this. We have never claimed to have the second part of the joke.

It was, indeed,  a most cunning ruse by our devious selves to help extricate our properly acquired new found wealth.

Warm Regards,

The soon to flee Ruling Peoples Party for Peace Pie Prosperity punctuation and Pelicans.


LMNO - Probably not a lizard person. Stance on the second part of the joke undeclared.

IF ELECTED MEXICO, THERE WILL BE A HANDJOB IN EVERY HOME.

BECAUSE I HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR, THE JOKE WILL NEVER HAVE EXISTED; THIS ELIMINATES BOTH THE FIRST AND SECOND PARTS OF THE JOKE, RETROACTIVELY.

DID I MENTION THE HANDJOBS?

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 22, 2013, 07:26:36 PM
IF ELECTED MEXICO, THERE WILL BE A HANDJOB IN EVERY HOME.

BECAUSE I HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR, THE JOKE WILL NEVER HAVE EXISTED; THIS ELIMINATES BOTH THE FIRST AND SECOND PARTS OF THE JOKE, RETROACTIVELY.

DID I MENTION THE HANDJOBS?

But only I, ROJELIO, can deliver THE SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE.

THE JOKE, WHEN IT NO LONGER EXIST, WILL CEASE TO BE A JOKE.  THERE WILL BE NO SECOND HALF, FOR THERE WILL BE NO FIRST HALF.



AND DID YOU FORGET ABOUT THE HANDJOBS?  I MEAN, REALLY. 

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 22, 2013, 09:01:05 PM
THE JOKE, WHEN IT NO LONGER EXIST, WILL CEASE TO BE A JOKE.  THERE WILL BE NO SECOND HALF, FOR THERE WILL BE NO FIRST HALF.



AND DID YOU FORGET ABOUT THE HANDJOBS?  I MEAN, REALLY.

I suspect that the promises of handjobs will turn out to be unrealistic, with the very rich getting handjobs, the middle class getting cheap sleeve jobs, and the poor left wanking, just like always.

VOTE FOR THE SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE.

THE HANDJOB IS NOT A LIE.

LUBE, HOWEVER, WILL BE SOLD ON A SLIDING SCALE. 

YES, THAT WAS A PUN, BUT SINCE IT WAS NOT FUNNY, IT HOLDS THAT I HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR.  THUS, NO JOKES.  EVER.

QED.

Friends, please, all of you, do consider the value in the second half of the joke being produced and this whole sorry thing being put to rest.

One MEXICO has already been deposed. Choose a new benevolent overlord soon,



Already boarding the plane with a bag marked "$$$$$WAG!" ,

The Escaping Ruling Junta

I would just move Mexico to Belgium!

The Good Reverend Roger gives you lies that he will give you the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE.

LMNO gives you lies that he will retroactively cause the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE to never have existed.

Junkenstein gives you lies because he is a scoundrel.

Only with Eater of Clowns, your Once and Future Mexico, brings you the truth.  The Good Reverend cannot give you the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE.  LMNO cannot cause retroactive nonexistence of the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE.  It is simply because there never was a second half of the joke.

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on April 22, 2013, 09:23:33 PM
The Good Reverend Roger gives you lies that he will give you the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE.

LMNO gives you lies that he will retroactively cause the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE to never have existed.

Junkenstein gives you lies because he is a scoundrel.

Only with Eater of Clowns, your Once and Future Mexico, brings you the truth.  The Good Reverend cannot give you the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE.  LMNO cannot cause retroactive nonexistence of the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE.  It is simply because there never was a second half of the joke.

Ah, but there IS a second half of the joke, and I have been waiting months to tell it.

Which is why everyone should vote for me.  I may indeed be a shape-shifting reptillian with a taste for human souls, but I DO in fact have the second half of the joke.  And I wish to share it.

WOULDN'T YOU ALL PREFER HANDJOBS?



I PROMISE HANDJOBS.

As everyone who has played Risk with me knows, I never lie.  I say exactly what my intentions are, and nobody believes me, and I wind up winning the game, and everyone gives me dirty looks, even though I outright SAID WHAT I WAS GOING TO DO.  The fact that they didn't believe me is hardly MY fault.

And I say unto you, I SHALL deliver the second half of the joke.  <--- This is NOT an ambiguous statement.

Wait.  The poll just changed.

I protest this obvious election-rigging!

Waffles - Wants to Move Mexico to belgium. Stance on Joke part deux undeclared.

And Dear suckers, Pay no attention to the bitter ravings of EOC desperate for a return to power. If he knew that we'd taken the lot, even the light bulbs on our way out, he wouldn't be so keen!

Ta Ta!

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 22, 2013, 09:31:36 PM
Wait.  The poll just changed.

I protest this obvious election-rigging!

A RIGGED ELECTION IS A FAIR ELECTION.

APPARENTLY, THE PEOPLE™ PREFER HUMOR TO HANDJOBS.

I FIND THIS UNACCEPTABLE.

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 22, 2013, 09:32:56 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 22, 2013, 09:31:36 PM
Wait.  The poll just changed.

I protest this obvious election-rigging!

A RIGGED ELECTION IS A FAIR ELECTION.

I see.  Do I have to get Jimmy Carter on the phone?

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 22, 2013, 09:33:19 PM
APPARENTLY, THE PEOPLE™ PREFER HUMOR TO HANDJOBS.

I FIND THIS UNACCEPTABLE.

You can get a handjob anywhere.

Only I can deliver THE SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE...Despite Junkenstein's ham-fisted election fraud.

Please do. He is not a fan of soulless lizard people.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 22, 2013, 09:34:19 PM
You can get a handjob anywhere.

BUT FOR AN EXTRA 50% INCREASE IN THE PAYROLL TAX, I WILL USE STEEL WOOL.

Even the FIRST half of the joke doesn't exist. It was a false flag Joke, and remains pure disinformative comedy.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 22, 2013, 09:34:19 PM

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 22, 2013, 09:33:19 PM
APPARENTLY, THE PEOPLE™ PREFER HUMOR TO HANDJOBS.

I FIND THIS UNACCEPTABLE.

You can get a handjob anywhere.

Only I can deliver THE SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE...Despite Junkenstein's ham-fisted election fraud.

I am but a servant of the rules that we are making up as I go along. This is still fairer than any election you'll ever vote in.

THINK ABOUT IT.

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 22, 2013, 09:34:32 PM
Please do. He is not a fan of soulless lizard people.

Yes, but he frowns even more on rigged and fraudulent elections.

I am positive that if I wasn't leading in the polls, the election would not have been "expanded".

Politics is confusing. :?

That had nothing to do with it.

As we have repeatedly stated, despite the lizardeness, Rogelioz is the only one with a consistent claim to the second part of said joke.

Do not speak ill of the election process.

Quote from: Cainad on April 22, 2013, 09:41:46 PM
Politics is confusing. :?

This is why you should put your trust in Padre Rojelio.

I will make everything stop being confusing.

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 22, 2013, 09:42:18 PM
That had nothing to do with it.

So you say.

I am not fooled.  Your bitter racism toward my people is well-documented, as is your atrocious punctuation (Example:  the OP of this thread).

And your mother dresses you funny.

Cainad has very clearly demonstrated his intention to join the race to be the next Mexico.

I demand to see him included!

I also demand my vote back with the inclusion of three new challengers.

FAILURE TO MEET THESE DEMANDS WILL BE MET WITH INCOMPARABLE WHINING

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on April 22, 2013, 09:47:08 PM
Cainad has very clearly demonstrated his intention to join the race to be the next Mexico.

I demand to see him included!

I also demand my vote back with the inclusion of three new challengers.

FAILURE TO MEET THESE DEMANDS WILL BE MET WITH INCOMPARABLE WHINING

This election is a farce.  I shall not degrade myself via inclusion in such a fraud.

I AM WITHDRAWING, AND TAKING THE SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE WITH ME.  When the new Mexico screws up the job as much as EoC and Junkenstien, The People can throw him out on his ass and install me, Padre Rojelio, as their benevolent El Presidente for life.

We appreciated your substantial gift to our cause in ousting ECH. This has not been forgotten. Nor does this mean we Trust you. That is why we accepted the second gift and pushed you as the prime candidate. How many times has the IRJOIRIC stated that we do not wish for the responsibilities of MEXICO?

Claim your place and win this FAIR and IMPARTIAL FREE AND OPEN vote.

Or Bitch like a little girl because LMNO might just wank his way to victory.

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on April 22, 2013, 09:47:08 PM
Cainad has very clearly demonstrated his intention to join the race to be the next Mexico.

I demand to see him included!

I also demand my vote back with the inclusion of three new challengers.

FAILURE TO MEET THESE DEMANDS WILL BE MET WITH INCOMPARABLE WHINING

I did what now? :sadbanana:


Ffffffuuuuuu-

Cainiad - Clueless as the the current events around MEXICO.

Quote from: Cainad on April 22, 2013, 09:51:28 PM

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on April 22, 2013, 09:47:08 PM
Cainad has very clearly demonstrated his intention to join the race to be the next Mexico.

I demand to see him included!

I also demand my vote back with the inclusion of three new challengers.

FAILURE TO MEET THESE DEMANDS WILL BE MET WITH INCOMPARABLE WHINING

I did what now? :sadbanana:


Ffffffuuuuuu-

Worry not, my friend.  Come the revolution, I shall save a sunny spot on the wall for you.

I demand to be taken off the ballot.  I shall not have my good name attached to such an obvious sham.

I would like to throw my hat in for New Mexico.  I am not running for Mexico, only for New Mexico.  My hat is not a sombrero, it is a good American Baseball Cap.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 22, 2013, 09:52:23 PM

Quote from: Cainad on April 22, 2013, 09:51:28 PM
I did what now? :sadbanana:


Ffffffuuuuuu-

Worry not, my friend.  Come the revolution, I shall save a sunny spot on the wall for you.

First they came for the Lizards, and I said nothing because I was not a Lizard...


Then the Lizards came back, and everything got weird.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 22, 2013, 09:53:04 PM
I demand to be taken off the ballot.  I shall not have my good name attached to such an obvious sham.

Tough. THESE ARE THE RULES OF THE MEXICO VOTE

And in case there was any doubt, you had the chance to object at the start

Standard voting rules for new MEXICOS apply. All decisions ultimately arbitrary and final. No arguments.

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 22, 2013, 09:58:47 PM
And in case there was any doubt, you had the chance to object at the start

Yes, before you and your cronies added candidates every time I got another vote.

You People are like the Missouri GOP.   :argh!:

And it seems the list of candidates wasn't very "final".

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 22, 2013, 09:59:46 PM

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 22, 2013, 09:58:47 PM
And in case there was any doubt, you had the chance to object at the start

Yes, before you and your cronies added candidates every time I got another vote.

You People are like the Missouri GOP.   :argh!:

No!

I'm MUCH more corrupt!

HA! HA!

NEW CHALLENGER

Pergamos - Has feelings about things and said some stuff about stuff and stuff.

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 22, 2013, 10:06:22 PM

NEW CHALLENGER

Pergamos - Has feelings about things and said some stuff about stuff and stuff.

No,  I am not running for Mexico.  I am running for New Mexico.  If elected Mexico I will secede and not serve.

Your desires are irrelevant. Campaign to the best of your abilities or face the elite-hidden-guerilla-squad-guard-strike-force.

No one who encounters the EHGSGSF walk the same way again. Or even twice. This is your only warning.

REMINDER: HANDJOBS.



THAT IS ALL.

I can't change my vote :(

Also if elected MEXICO I promise cookies and tentacle faces for everyone.

I will proudly be the New Mexico to Queen Gojira's Mexico.  Cookies and tentacle faces for all.

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 22, 2013, 10:23:48 PM
REMINDER: HANDJOBS.



THAT IS ALL.

Well, it's hard not to vote for this.

DO AS NIGEL DOES. ACCEPT THE HANDJOB.

What if it's a bad handjob? Like, a few quick pumps and a slap on the balls and that's it? How do we know?!

YOU'RE SAYING YOU DON'T LIKE GETTING SLAPPED ON THE BALLS? WHY DO YOU HATE YOUR MEXICO?

PROMISING HANDJOBS IS INSULTING AND DEGRADING TO THE OFFICE OF MEXICO, AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT.

I support TGRR for Mexico.

Not because I believe his lies about the second half of the joke, but because choosing a candidate out of you lot is disturbing enough to hope TGRR is the one with his finger on the Big Red Button when it's all over.

Quote from: V3X on April 23, 2013, 04:54:34 AM

Not because I believe his lies about the second half of the joke,

You guys have NO IDEA.

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 23, 2013, 03:10:21 AM
YOU'RE SAYING YOU DON'T LIKE GETTING SLAPPED ON THE BALLS? WHY DO YOU HATE YOUR MEXICO?

This is our future if we elect LMNO :  :love:

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 23, 2013, 04:58:49 AM

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 23, 2013, 03:10:21 AM
YOU'RE SAYING YOU DON'T LIKE GETTING SLAPPED ON THE BALLS? WHY DO YOU HATE YOUR MEXICO?

This is our future if we elect LMNO :  :love:

I want to change my vote now.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 23, 2013, 05:08:11 AM

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 23, 2013, 04:58:49 AM

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 23, 2013, 03:10:21 AM
YOU'RE SAYING YOU DON'T LIKE GETTING SLAPPED ON THE BALLS? WHY DO YOU HATE YOUR MEXICO?

This is our future if we elect LMNO :  :love:

I want to change my vote now.

Oh no!

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 23, 2013, 05:26:13 AM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 23, 2013, 05:08:11 AM

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 23, 2013, 04:58:49 AM

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 23, 2013, 03:10:21 AM
YOU'RE SAYING YOU DON'T LIKE GETTING SLAPPED ON THE BALLS? WHY DO YOU HATE YOUR MEXICO?

This is our future if we elect LMNO :  :love:

I want to change my vote now.

Oh no!

I am up for ANY PROGRAM!

Reset Vote to zero?

:regret:

POWER. UNLIMITED POWER

WOOOOOO! CHECK OUT MY PROMOTIONAL MATERIALS!

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 23, 2013, 04:08:22 PM
Reset Vote to zero?

:regret:

POWER. UNLIMITED POWER

Of course.  I was winning.

Fuck you sheep, I'm voting for Ron Paul.

To the people who voted for me, why bother?  The election will be continually reset until the "correct" candidate wins.

Fuck this noise.

If elected I will not serve.  I will take the second half of the joke with me to my grave.

Moot point, of course.  SOME PEOPLE (looking at YOU, Junkenstien) don't want the second half of the joke told, so the election will be tampered with until they get the results they want.

I actually do want the second part of the joke.

The reset to zero will allow you all to campaign fairly and with honour.

Or bitch more. That works too. 

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 23, 2013, 04:53:16 PM
I actually do want the second part of the joke.

Nope.  Seriously, it now amuses me to never, ever tell the second half of the joke.  I will have it mailed to ECH and Nigel after my death, provided they first swear that they will never tell any other PDer.

Sort of like Sam Shepard, except that I'll actually deliver (or, rather, my executor will).

So, there's precisely zero reason to vote for me.

I am a lizard person, AND I will NEVER tell you the second half of the joke.

Well that should guarantee a win. I said at the start that I was looking to pass the buck and I was annoyingly competitive.

Let the people speak, unless, of course, you fear what this free and open election will bring.

Actually, it sounds a bit like joke envy. Are you worried another may produce a better second part of the joke? Who worries you? Queen G? She should. She's campaigning hard. A hard campaign is LMNO's slogan incidentally.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 23, 2013, 04:54:40 PM

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 23, 2013, 04:53:16 PM
I actually do want the second part of the joke.

Nope.  Seriously, it now amuses me to never, ever tell the second half of the joke.  I will have it mailed to ECH and Nigel after my death, provided they first swear that they will never tell any other PDer.

Sort of like Sam Shepard, except that I'll actually deliver (or, rather, my executor will).

You realise also, this this will lead to highly toxic infighting and arguments about even the existence of the joke.

Ah.

I suddenly see the grand schemes of this lizard person. Despicable.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 23, 2013, 04:43:39 PM
To the people who voted for me, why bother?  The election will be continually reset until the "correct" candidate wins.

This implies there is a "correct Candidate" or indeed, a "winner"

Edit to correct idiot typo and:

OMFG, Junk is Jeb Bush's alt.

You can prove nothing.

NOTHING.

The last few days' debacle has proven my point that THERE IS NO JOKE. The first half is a damn dirty lie!

I just wanted to pop in for a moment, while I'm on a quick break.





HANDJOBS.






Thank you for your attention.

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 23, 2013, 05:39:33 PM
Well that should guarantee a win. I said at the start that I was looking to pass the buck and I was annoyingly competitive.

Let the people speak, unless, of course, you fear what this free and open election will bring.

Actually, it sounds a bit like joke envy. Are you worried another may produce a better second part of the joke? Who worries you? Queen G? She should. She's campaigning hard. A hard campaign is LMNO's slogan incidentally.

Why should I fear it?  If elected, I will promptly resign and go back out into the desert, taking the second half of the joke with me.

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 23, 2013, 05:42:06 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 23, 2013, 04:54:40 PM

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 23, 2013, 04:53:16 PM
I actually do want the second part of the joke.

Nope.  Seriously, it now amuses me to never, ever tell the second half of the joke.  I will have it mailed to ECH and Nigel after my death, provided they first swear that they will never tell any other PDer.

Sort of like Sam Shepard, except that I'll actually deliver (or, rather, my executor will).

You realise also, this this will lead to highly toxic infighting and arguments about even the existence of the joke.

Ah.

I suddenly see the grand schemes of this lizard person. Despicable.

Watch me sun myself on a flat rock, not caring.

Quote from: Waffles, Viking Princess of Northern Belgium on April 23, 2013, 06:58:41 PM
The last few days' debacle has proven my point that THERE IS NO JOKE. The first half is a damn dirty lie!

Well, you'll never know now, will you?

Also, I catagorically reject any claims of the second half of the joke being a national treasure.  It is mine, to share or not share as I see fit.

Also, Handjobs? Pah. If I win, and I will, Mexico will be in Northern Belgium, and we have fleshlight vending machines on EVERY street corner. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.

Quote from: Waffles, Viking Princess of Northern Belgium on April 23, 2013, 07:13:12 PM
Also, Handjobs? Pah. If I win, and I will, Mexico will be in Northern Belgium, and we have fleshlight vending machines on EVERY street corner. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.

I am The Good Lizard Roger, and I approve of this message.

Quote from: Waffles, Viking Princess of Northern Belgium on April 23, 2013, 07:13:12 PM
Also, Handjobs? Pah. If I win, and I will, Mexico will be in Northern Belgium, and we have fleshlight vending machines on EVERY street corner. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.

A vote for Mexico-Belgium is a vote for sex toys everywhere!

As a Right Reverend I must vote with my faith, and my faith tells me that there IS a second half of the joke.

No matter what happens, I will remain resolute in my support for TGRR as Mexico, even if he himself rejects the position.

He claims he will take the punchline to the grave with him. This is because he believes that death is the last place where His People cannot follow him.

Muahahahaha.

Quote from: Cainad on April 23, 2013, 08:32:43 PM
As a Right Reverend I must vote with my faith, and my faith tells me that there IS a second half of the joke.

No matter what happens, I will remain resolute in my support for TGRR as Mexico, even if he himself rejects the position.

He claims he will take the punchline to the grave with him. This is because he believes that death is the last place where His People cannot follow him.

Muahahahaha.

Maybe if we ply him with enough fleshlights he'll give us the second half of the joke.

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 23, 2013, 08:38:17 PM

Quote from: Cainad on April 23, 2013, 08:32:43 PM
As a Right Reverend I must vote with my faith, and my faith tells me that there IS a second half of the joke.

No matter what happens, I will remain resolute in my support for TGRR as Mexico, even if he himself rejects the position.

He claims he will take the punchline to the grave with him. This is because he believes that death is the last place where His People cannot follow him.

Muahahahaha.

Maybe if we ply him with enough fleshlights he'll give us the second half of the joke.

Reptilian Holy Men are a finicky breed. If you can't catch them while they're shedding their old scales (and they've learned how to get that done fast), normal means of persuasion are largely ineffective.

For example, reptiles often have dual penises. Unless you can afford that many custom-designed fleshlights, it's going to be very difficult.


Cold-blooded creatures do possess a literally inhuman patience, but they can only move quickly in short bursts. Our simian ancestors adapted bipedal movement so that we could more efficiently traverse long stretches of hot, dry landscape.

"Scientists" would have you believe that this was so we could roam long distances in search of food. We religious figures know that is was so that our ancestors, knowing that their newly-evolved frontal lobes had doomed them to be horribly aware of how stupid they could be, could chase down our Reptilian Holy Men, no matter how long they tried to hide.


Stupid simian sinners seeking saurian saviors.

Waffles! Your constituents wish to know if these fleshlight machines come equipped to serve our hemi-pene blessed brethren or if you are, in fact, specist against lizard people.

Aw, FUCK.  I've spent 10 years ducking out of this messiah shit, because I SAW WHAT HAPPENED TO PAYNE.

Chase me all you like, human filth.  I can run right up the side of a skyscraper.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 23, 2013, 09:01:37 PM
Aw, FUCK.  I've spent 10 years ducking out of this messiah shit, because I SAW WHAT HAPPENED TO PAYNE.

Chase me all you like, human filth.  I can run right up the side of a skyscraper.

:lulz: Poor Payne.

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 23, 2013, 09:04:18 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 23, 2013, 09:01:37 PM
Aw, FUCK.  I've spent 10 years ducking out of this messiah shit, because I SAW WHAT HAPPENED TO PAYNE.

Chase me all you like, human filth.  I can run right up the side of a skyscraper.

:lulz: Poor Payne.

Unlike Payne, I have more spirochetes than a Navy crew on liberty.

And I catch my food with my tongue.

You do the math.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 23, 2013, 09:01:37 PM
Aw, FUCK.  I've spent 10 years ducking out of this messiah shit, because I SAW WHAT HAPPENED TO PAYNE.

Chase me all you like, human filth.  I can run right up the side of a skyscraper.

Payne knew exactly what he was doing, and did it anyway just to get some cheap yuks. Praise be to the Motherfucking Messiah, Hallowed be thy Name, and deliver us unto Temptation because we gobble that shit up, etc.


Run as far as you can, Good Reverend. We've spent thousands of years, since you were just a leathery, speckled egg, perfecting the art of grinding our saviors into the dust. Like the lions we grew up running away from, when we see Holiness on the run we just can't help ourselves.

This thread went from awesome to amazing.

Quote from: Cainad on April 23, 2013, 09:09:25 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 23, 2013, 09:01:37 PM
Aw, FUCK.  I've spent 10 years ducking out of this messiah shit, because I SAW WHAT HAPPENED TO PAYNE.

Chase me all you like, human filth.  I can run right up the side of a skyscraper.

Payne knew exactly what he was doing, and did it anyway just to get some cheap yuks. Praise be to the Motherfucking Messiah, Hallowed be thy Name, and deliver us unto Temptation because we gobble that shit up, etc.


Run as far as you can, Good Reverend. We've spent thousands of years, since you were just a leathery, speckled egg, perfecting the art of grinding our saviors into the dust. Like the lions we grew up running away from, when we see Holiness on the run we just can't help ourselves.

See my last post. 

Fair enough. But acknowledging the facts has rarely been very effective at stopping primates, once we get ourselves all worked up into a tizzy.

We may, in fact, never catch you. It's actually quite probable, given our track record.

There IS a second half to the joke. Whether or not we ever get it is immaterial.

Quote from: Cainad on April 23, 2013, 09:32:22 PM
Fair enough. But acknowledging the facts has rarely been very effective at stopping primates, once we get ourselves all worked up into a tizzy.

We may, in fact, never catch you. It's actually quite probable, given our track record.

There IS a second half to the joke. Whether or not we ever get it is immaterial.

You make an excellent point.  Just knowing it exists is funny all by itself.

Pretty much. :lulz: I guess the phrase "Run while you still have legs!" means something different when it's being hollered at a bunch of humans by something that can regenerate lost limbs.



AND WHICH ONE OF YOU CHUCKLEFUCKS VOTED FOR ME?! :argh!: I know the vote is a sham, but honestly.

Quote from: Cainad on April 23, 2013, 09:41:36 PM
Pretty much. :lulz: I guess the phrase "Run while you still have legs!" means something different when it's being hollered at a bunch of humans by something that can regenerate lost limbs.

That's why all of my limbs are slightly different in color.  Which leads me to today's gem of wisdom:

Quote from: The Voice of ExperienceIf you've been married 4 times, maybe it's you.

But if you MUST marry crazy people, it's good to be able to replace missing bits.

Hi everyone, it's Eater of Clowns, YOUR Deposed Mexico!

When I was first sent to live in the hellish Presidential retiree palace with my meager pension and rather lacking waitstaff, I thought you'd come back to me.  After all, Project Infinite Mexico has proven a stellar success - look at the thread.  Look at all the Mexicos, being Mexico.  Look at the many more who seek to be Mexico and the even distribution of votes.  Project Infinite Mexico promises to bring you the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE in the Mexico TGRR, it promises to bring you HANDJOBS in the Mexico LMNO, it promises to bring you BELGIUM in the Mexico Waffles.

Your Deposed Mexico is pleased with the hilarious bungling of the election by Juntakenstein.  Even his violent, crazed, and undemocratic antics have a place in Project Infinite Mexico.

That place is last place.  Because nobody is voting for you, you son of a bitch.

WHAT THE FUCK

I AM NOT EVEN RUNNING FOR MEXICO! STOP VOTING FOR ME, YOU COCKMONGLERS!

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 23, 2013, 04:54:40 PM

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 23, 2013, 04:53:16 PM
I actually do want the second part of the joke.

Nope.  Seriously, it now amuses me to never, ever tell the second half of the joke.  I will have it mailed to ECH and Nigel after my death, provided they first swear that they will never tell any other PDer.

Sort of like Sam Shepard, except that I'll actually deliver (or, rather, my executor will).

I DON'T REMEMBER THE FIRST HALF oops capslock the first half of the joke.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 23, 2013, 07:06:11 PM

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 23, 2013, 05:42:06 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 23, 2013, 04:54:40 PM

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 23, 2013, 04:53:16 PM
I actually do want the second part of the joke.

Nope.  Seriously, it now amuses me to never, ever tell the second half of the joke.  I will have it mailed to ECH and Nigel after my death, provided they first swear that they will never tell any other PDer.

Sort of like Sam Shepard, except that I'll actually deliver (or, rather, my executor will).

You realise also, this this will lead to highly toxic infighting and arguments about even the existence of the joke.

Ah.

I suddenly see the grand schemes of this lizard person. Despicable.

Watch me sun myself on a flat rock, not caring.

:lulz:

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 23, 2013, 09:05:51 PM

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 23, 2013, 09:04:18 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 23, 2013, 09:01:37 PM
Aw, FUCK.  I've spent 10 years ducking out of this messiah shit, because I SAW WHAT HAPPENED TO PAYNE.

Chase me all you like, human filth.  I can run right up the side of a skyscraper.

:lulz: Poor Payne.

Unlike Payne, I have more spirochetes than a Navy crew on liberty.

And I catch my food with my tongue.

You do the math.

:eek: :eek: :eek:

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 23, 2013, 10:56:04 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 23, 2013, 09:05:51 PM

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 23, 2013, 09:04:18 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 23, 2013, 09:01:37 PM
Aw, FUCK.  I've spent 10 years ducking out of this messiah shit, because I SAW WHAT HAPPENED TO PAYNE.

Chase me all you like, human filth.  I can run right up the side of a skyscraper.

:lulz: Poor Payne.

Unlike Payne, I have more spirochetes than a Navy crew on liberty.

And I catch my food with my tongue.

You do the math.

:eek: :eek: :eek:

And this is why TGRR TGLR is popular with the ladeez.

:digtbk:

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on April 23, 2013, 10:04:42 PM
Hi everyone, it's Eater of Clowns, YOUR Deposed Mexico!

When I was first sent to live in the hellish Presidential retiree palace with my meager pension and rather lacking waitstaff, I thought you'd come back to me.  After all, Project Infinite Mexico has proven a stellar success - look at the thread.  Look at all the Mexicos, being Mexico.  Look at the many more who seek to be Mexico and the even distribution of votes.  Project Infinite Mexico promises to bring you the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE in the Mexico TGRR, it promises to bring you HANDJOBS in the Mexico LMNO, it promises to bring you BELGIUM in the Mexico Waffles.

Your Deposed Mexico is pleased with the hilarious bungling of the election by Juntakenstein.  Even his violent, crazed, and undemocratic antics have a place in Project Infinite Mexico.

That place is last place.  Because nobody is voting for you, you son of a bitch.

Oh you're just asking for another reset aren't you?

Well I shaln't do it. Shaln't. It's a word you outcast second rate former mexicos (not even worth caps) have never heard of.

This kind of hate speech only strengthens the very small, totally under control villages in glorious republic of Juantezicthestn.

But no. All the players seem to be here and the new MEXICO shall arise. There is only one MEXICO, and they are MEXICO and MEXICO is one with them.

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 24, 2013, 12:30:58 AM

But no. All the players seem to be here and the new MEXICO shall arise. There is only one MEXICO, and they are MEXICO and MEXICO is one with them.

That sounds very similar to my Prayer to Pepsi. I suddenly feel nostalgic, bloated, and holy.

(http://img268.imageshack.us/img268/3209/mexicoforever.png)

 :batman:

(http://img213.imageshack.us/img213/5336/worstofallpossiblemexic.png)

fucking GLORIOUS

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 24, 2013, 05:18:39 AM
(http://img268.imageshack.us/img268/3209/mexicoforever.png)

Oh shit. So much wonderful.

Freinds! Surely the MEXICO that has a clear and squiddy future planned for Mexico must be your MEXICO.

Unholy Tentace Dominion > Lizard People

What I'm terrified of is that somehow Queen Gogira and Roger will tie and end up being the Joint Mexico in an unholy tentacle-lizard union.

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 24, 2013, 03:13:12 PM
What I'm terrified of is that somehow Queen Gogira and Roger will tie and end up being the Joint Mexico in an unholy tentacle-lizard union.

Like so?

(http://digital-art-gallery.com/oid/95/640x494_16568_Tentacle_Tusked_Tumble_Back_2d_fantasy_creature_monster_concept_art_picture_image_digital_art.jpg)

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 24, 2013, 03:46:17 PM

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 24, 2013, 03:13:12 PM
What I'm terrified of is that somehow Queen Gogira and Roger will tie and end up being the Joint Mexico in an unholy tentacle-lizard union.

Like so?

(http://digital-art-gallery.com/oid/95/640x494_16568_Tentacle_Tusked_Tumble_Back_2d_fantasy_creature_monster_concept_art_picture_image_digital_art.jpg)

AIIIIIIII!  :aaa:

is that Wayne Douglas Barlowe?

(http://img707.imageshack.us/img707/3715/qgptrifold.jpg)

Tentacles, hand-jobs, and chocolate salty balls.

. . . . I wanna change my vote! :P

Also, it would be a fun side-project to put together fact-sheets and everything for the campaign. Gorgira's work is awesome. Throw in some speeches and a dramatic title and it would be a nifty little booklet. The epic story of MEXICO's lost joke. :P

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 24, 2013, 06:14:13 PM
(http://img707.imageshack.us/img707/3715/qgptrifold.jpg)

BAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I want to print those out and leave them around town, because CONFUSING + HILARIOUS = CONFUSILARIOUS.

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 25, 2013, 01:54:33 AM

BAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I want to print those out and leave them around town, because CONFUSING + HILARIOUS = CONFUSILARIOUS.

I can do a more printer-friendly version if you want.

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 25, 2013, 01:57:53 AM

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 25, 2013, 01:54:33 AM

BAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I want to print those out and leave them around town, because CONFUSING + HILARIOUS = CONFUSILARIOUS.

I can do a more printer-friendly version if you want.

YES PLEASE

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 25, 2013, 02:01:34 AM

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 25, 2013, 01:57:53 AM

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 25, 2013, 01:54:33 AM

BAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I want to print those out and leave them around town, because CONFUSING + HILARIOUS = CONFUSILARIOUS.

I can do a more printer-friendly version if you want.

YES PLEASE

I second this.

(http://img28.imageshack.us/img28/6808/qgptrifoldbw.jpg)

and for serious toner-saving purposes
(http://img6.imageshack.us/img6/686/qgptrifoldprint.jpg)

If any other candidates want to slap together some content I can do similar posters and we can take this TO THE WALL.

Quotewe can take this TO THE WALL.

Where it will be shot by the revolutionary institutional people's junta party, one hopes.

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 25, 2013, 03:48:01 AM
(http://img28.imageshack.us/img28/6808/qgptrifoldbw.jpg)

and for serious toner-saving purposes
(http://img6.imageshack.us/img6/686/qgptrifoldprint.jpg)

BEAUTIFUL

I get a printing allowance at school, and I never, ever use it all.

Until now.

I showed it to my friend without any context. He was very confused but says I have his vote.

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 25, 2013, 04:47:15 AM
I showed it to my friend without any context. He was very confused but says I have his vote.

I suspect that will be the general consensus.

VOTE BEAR! I promise a Houston Free Thinker in every home!

My Friends!

Disorder rages!

QuoteTeachers incensed by sweeping joke reforms have attacked the buildings of political parties in Mexico's south-western Guerrero state.

For several hours, masked protesters started fires and attacked the offices with pickaxes and sticks, spraying slogans on the walls.

The state governor has called for support from the federal government.

The reforms impose centralised teacher assessment and seek to end corrupt practices in the joke system.

Those practices include the buying and selling of joke positions.

But unions say the reforms could lead to big lay-offs, and critics also suggest they may be paving the way for the privatisation of Mexico's joke system.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-22289368

I urge you all to confirm your new MEXICO without delay. Blood will line the streets before long.

Also -

Cain - Can identify lizard people at 500 Yards. By Smell.

/b/earman - Looking to appropriate glorious MEXICO heritage

Elder Ippy - A single question. No Answer.

Proposing coalition government to Queen Gogira.

We will feed them the second part of the joke, good & hard.

SAY YES SAY YES SAY YES...

Printing out some QGP flyers and leaving them in strategic locations even if you don't, though.  :lulz:

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 03:03:13 AM
Proposing coalition government to Queen Gogira.

We will feed them the second part of the joke, good & hard.

Seconded!

I mean, TENTACLE JOBS? I can't compete with that.

Thirded. Belgium ain't got jack compared to that.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 03:03:13 AM
Proposing coalition government to Queen Gogira.

We will feed them the second part of the joke, good & hard.

NOOOOOOOO!!!!  :aaa: :aaa: :aaa: :aaa: :aaa:

CAMPAIGN UPDATE

The self-confessed lizard person TGRR has fallen for my clever ruse and released the second half of the joke to me.

VOTE QGP: TWO JOKES ARE BETTER THAN ONE

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 26, 2013, 05:02:22 PM
CAMPAIGN UPDATE

The self-confessed lizard person TGRR has fallen for my clever ruse and released the second half of the joke to me.

VOTE QGP: TWO JOKES ARE BETTER THAN ONE

I had anticipated exactly this sort of treachery, of course.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 05:53:15 PM

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 26, 2013, 05:02:22 PM
CAMPAIGN UPDATE

The self-confessed lizard person TGRR has fallen for my clever ruse and released the second half of the joke to me.

VOTE QGP: TWO JOKES ARE BETTER THAN ONE

I had anticipated exactly this sort of treachery, of course.

Really, if you didn't respect me enough to see this coming, I can't imagine why you would have made the offer in the first place.

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 26, 2013, 05:54:18 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 05:53:15 PM

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 26, 2013, 05:02:22 PM
CAMPAIGN UPDATE

The self-confessed lizard person TGRR has fallen for my clever ruse and released the second half of the joke to me.

VOTE QGP: TWO JOKES ARE BETTER THAN ONE

I had anticipated exactly this sort of treachery, of course.

Really, if you didn't respect me enough to see this coming, I can't imagine why you would have made the offer in the first place.

Yes, so in all fairness, I have to warn you that the second half of the joke that you were fed isn't really going to do you any good, because I totally lied about the first half of the joke not being already presented.

What you are instead holding is a dangerous & illegal punchline, and I have already notified the authorities, you terrorist swine.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 05:56:30 PM
What you are instead holding is a dangerous & illegal punchline, and I have already notified the authorities, you terrorist swine.

Which makes you an accessory before the fact. An accomplice, even. Don't mind the sirens outside, it's already too late to burn the evidence.

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 26, 2013, 06:03:26 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 05:56:30 PM
What you are instead holding is a dangerous & illegal punchline, and I have already notified the authorities, you terrorist swine.

Which makes you an accessory before the fact. An accomplice, even. Don't mind the sirens outside, it's already too late to burn the evidence.

I have diplomatic immunity, on account of being Mexico.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 06:05:42 PM

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 26, 2013, 06:03:26 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 05:56:30 PM
What you are instead holding is a dangerous & illegal punchline, and I have already notified the authorities, you terrorist swine.

Which makes you an accessory before the fact. An accomplice, even. Don't mind the sirens outside, it's already too late to burn the evidence.

I have diplomatic immunity, on account of being Mexico.

You're not Mexico, you already dropped out of the running three times.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 06:05:42 PM

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 26, 2013, 06:03:26 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 05:56:30 PM
What you are instead holding is a dangerous & illegal punchline, and I have already notified the authorities, you terrorist swine.

Which makes you an accessory before the fact. An accomplice, even. Don't mind the sirens outside, it's already too late to burn the evidence.

I have diplomatic immunity, on account of being Mexico.

THIS IS YET TO BE DETERMINED.

POPULARITY DOES NOT MAKE A MEXICO. LOOK AT EOC. LOOK AT HIM. IS THAT MEXICO?

NO.


VOTE CORRECTLY CITIZENS!

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 26, 2013, 06:10:07 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 06:05:42 PM

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 26, 2013, 06:03:26 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 05:56:30 PM
What you are instead holding is a dangerous & illegal punchline, and I have already notified the authorities, you terrorist swine.

Which makes you an accessory before the fact. An accomplice, even. Don't mind the sirens outside, it's already too late to burn the evidence.

I have diplomatic immunity, on account of being Mexico.

You're not Mexico, you already dropped out of the running three times.

I do not need to "run", as I am in fact the One True Mexico.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 06:28:13 PM

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 26, 2013, 06:10:07 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 06:05:42 PM

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 26, 2013, 06:03:26 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 05:56:30 PM
What you are instead holding is a dangerous & illegal punchline, and I have already notified the authorities, you terrorist swine.

Which makes you an accessory before the fact. An accomplice, even. Don't mind the sirens outside, it's already too late to burn the evidence.

I have diplomatic immunity, on account of being Mexico.

You're not Mexico, you already dropped out of the running three times.

I do not need to "run", as I am in fact the One True Mexico.

You sure about that?

 :popcorn:

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 26, 2013, 06:41:53 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 06:28:13 PM

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 26, 2013, 06:10:07 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 06:05:42 PM

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 26, 2013, 06:03:26 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 05:56:30 PM
What you are instead holding is a dangerous & illegal punchline, and I have already notified the authorities, you terrorist swine.

Which makes you an accessory before the fact. An accomplice, even. Don't mind the sirens outside, it's already too late to burn the evidence.

I have diplomatic immunity, on account of being Mexico.

You're not Mexico, you already dropped out of the running three times.

I do not need to "run", as I am in fact the One True Mexico.

You sure about that?

I am.  Huitzilopochtli assures me of this, and I pay him his due.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 08:05:52 PM

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 26, 2013, 06:41:53 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 06:28:13 PM

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 26, 2013, 06:10:07 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 06:05:42 PM

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 26, 2013, 06:03:26 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 05:56:30 PM
What you are instead holding is a dangerous & illegal punchline, and I have already notified the authorities, you terrorist swine.

Which makes you an accessory before the fact. An accomplice, even. Don't mind the sirens outside, it's already too late to burn the evidence.

I have diplomatic immunity, on account of being Mexico.

You're not Mexico, you already dropped out of the running three times.

I do not need to "run", as I am in fact the One True Mexico.

You sure about that?

I am.  Huitzilopochtli assures me of this, and I pay him his due.

The votes say something different, sir  :lulz:

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 26, 2013, 08:29:06 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 08:05:52 PM

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 26, 2013, 06:41:53 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 06:28:13 PM

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 26, 2013, 06:10:07 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 06:05:42 PM

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 26, 2013, 06:03:26 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 05:56:30 PM
What you are instead holding is a dangerous & illegal punchline, and I have already notified the authorities, you terrorist swine.

Which makes you an accessory before the fact. An accomplice, even. Don't mind the sirens outside, it's already too late to burn the evidence.

I have diplomatic immunity, on account of being Mexico.

You're not Mexico, you already dropped out of the running three times.

I do not need to "run", as I am in fact the One True Mexico.

You sure about that?

I am.  Huitzilopochtli assures me of this, and I pay him his due.

The votes say something different, sir  :lulz:

That has happened ever since Junkenstien started this farce of an election.

Enjoy your "victory".  The Mexica gods will have the last laugh.

Once the issue of who the true Mexico is has been settled, I would like the answer to the question of whether crunchy tacos are authentically Mexican.

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 26, 2013, 09:28:33 PM
Once the issue of who the true Mexico is has been settled, I would like the answer to the question of whether crunchy tacos are authentically Mexican.

I'd love to help you with that, but the modern gringo view of Mexico seems to be more about tentacles.

QG, this one's all yours.  As is the second half of the joke, though I suggest you not try using that squib I handed you yesterday. 

Okay, I'm going to clear a few things up:

1.  The FIRST half of the joke was "I'm running for Mexico, I trust I have your vote."  (Sorry Waffle, I can't help it if you Belgians can't pay attention.)

2.  The SECOND half of the joke is, of course, the punchline to the first part of the joke.

3.  Since The People seem to prefer any given candidate over me and the punchline, then I withdraw my offer of a coalition government, and will not serve in any capacity, as this stopped amusing me at some point early this morning.

4.  Given that, the second half of the joke will be, as I had earlier planned to do, sequestered until after my death, whereupon it will be emailed to Nigel, Stella, and ECH, provided they promise not to tell anyone else.

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 26, 2013, 09:28:33 PM
Once the issue of who the true Mexico is has been settled, I would like the answer to the question of whether crunchy tacos are authentically Mexican.

As your Mexico, I will claim crispy tacos for the masses.

I think The People really wanted the second half of the joke, but were distracted by flashy campaign expenditures.

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 26, 2013, 09:46:26 PM
I think The People really wanted the second half of the joke, but were distracted by flashy campaign expenditures.

Well, they can have their glitz.  I shall have the second half of the joke.

Besides, Junkenstien was clearly going to change the poll and the number of votes per person until I lost, and that was funny for a day or so. 

I'm not butthurt, obviously, but I've had 8 hours of sleep in 5 days, and the humor sort of dribbled out of this.

If it's any consolation, I have found this whole saga incredibly funny.

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 26, 2013, 09:51:11 PM
If it's any consolation, I have found this whole saga incredibly funny.

So did I, especially EoC's part in it.

But it has sorta worn thin for me.  I've been waiting to finish the gag for something like 10 weeks.

You all carry on without me.  For the record, I support Bearman, and everyone that voted for me should give their votes to him, instead.

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 26, 2013, 09:46:26 PM
I think The People really wanted the second half of the joke, but were distracted by flashy campaign expenditures.

MONEY IS SPEECH.

 :lol: This whole time I've been under the impression that the second half of the joke was the joke.

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 26, 2013, 10:14:09 PM
:lol: This whole time I've been under the impression that the second half of the joke was the joke.

Well, one day all this will be yours, Nigel.  As for the moment, I'm fucking off to a convent, to be a Bride of Enrico.  No punchlines for you spags.  At least not til I get knocked off by one of his jealous sex midgets.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 10:16:02 PM

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 26, 2013, 10:14:09 PM
:lol: This whole time I've been under the impression that the second half of the joke was the joke.

Well, one day all this will be yours, Nigel.  As for the moment, I'm fucking off to a convent, to be a Bride of Enrico.  No punchlines for you spags.  At least not til I get knocked off by one of his jealous sex midgets.

That sounds like a punchline just looking for a setup.

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 26, 2013, 10:47:05 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 10:16:02 PM

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 26, 2013, 10:14:09 PM
:lol: This whole time I've been under the impression that the second half of the joke was the joke.

Well, one day all this will be yours, Nigel.  As for the moment, I'm fucking off to a convent, to be a Bride of Enrico.  No punchlines for you spags.  At least not til I get knocked off by one of his jealous sex midgets.

That sounds like a punchline just looking for a setup.

SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER UNSKINNY BOP AT 11.

TGRR,
Practicing his pole dance for the convent audition.  Has trained his back hair to stand upright on command.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 10:48:16 PM

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 26, 2013, 10:47:05 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 10:16:02 PM

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 26, 2013, 10:14:09 PM
:lol: This whole time I've been under the impression that the second half of the joke was the joke.

Well, one day all this will be yours, Nigel.  As for the moment, I'm fucking off to a convent, to be a Bride of Enrico.  No punchlines for you spags.  At least not til I get knocked off by one of his jealous sex midgets.

That sounds like a punchline just looking for a setup.

SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER UNSKINNY BOP AT 11.

TGRR,
Practicing his pole dance for the convent audition.  Has trained his back hair to stand upright on command.

What are these, yeti nuns?

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 26, 2013, 10:49:09 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 10:48:16 PM

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 26, 2013, 10:47:05 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 10:16:02 PM

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 26, 2013, 10:14:09 PM
:lol: This whole time I've been under the impression that the second half of the joke was the joke.

Well, one day all this will be yours, Nigel.  As for the moment, I'm fucking off to a convent, to be a Bride of Enrico.  No punchlines for you spags.  At least not til I get knocked off by one of his jealous sex midgets.

That sounds like a punchline just looking for a setup.

SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER UNSKINNY BOP AT 11.

TGRR,
Practicing his pole dance for the convent audition.  Has trained his back hair to stand upright on command.

What are these, yeti nuns?

Enrico has standards. 

I want you to imagine Roger doing the Rumpshaker.  In spandex.

Yeah, take THAT to your grave.

:hammer:

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 10:50:52 PM

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 26, 2013, 10:49:09 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 10:48:16 PM

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 26, 2013, 10:47:05 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 10:16:02 PM

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 26, 2013, 10:14:09 PM
:lol: This whole time I've been under the impression that the second half of the joke was the joke.

Well, one day all this will be yours, Nigel.  As for the moment, I'm fucking off to a convent, to be a Bride of Enrico.  No punchlines for you spags.  At least not til I get knocked off by one of his jealous sex midgets.

That sounds like a punchline just looking for a setup.

SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER UNSKINNY BOP AT 11.

TGRR,
Practicing his pole dance for the convent audition.  Has trained his back hair to stand upright on command.

What are these, yeti nuns?

Enrico has standards. 

I want you to imagine Roger doing the Rumpshaker.  In spandex.

Yeah, take THAT to your grave.

:hammer:

:horrormirth:

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 09:49:01 PM

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 26, 2013, 09:46:26 PM
I think The People really wanted the second half of the joke, but were distracted by flashy campaign expenditures.

Well, they can have their glitz.  I shall have the second half of the joke.

Besides, Junkenstien was clearly going to change the poll and the number of votes per person until I lost, and that was funny for a day or so. 

I'm not butthurt, obviously, but I've had 8 hours of sleep in 5 days, and the humor sort of dribbled out of this.

TGGR,

Imma let you finish, but this BULLSHIT about rigging the election MUST CEASE IMMEDIATELY.

ONE-This election has been run in full compliance with the laws of electing a new MEXICO. Ask Hirley0, he drafted the regulations personally.

TWO - Full and open candiate selection is part of the process. You know this. You WANTED this. After your umpteen dozen hissy fits about whether you are even going to share the second part of the joke (Which is increasingly contentious). It is time for a formal decison - Do you wish to be in the short-list of candidates? Do you have the BALLS for an open and honest contest?

THREE - You CISHETREP people disgust me on a deeply personal level. Yet at no stage have I stooped to the many petty personal insults that you have seen fit to pass over this fine upstanding commission. Just reminding you that we are better than you like that.

FOUR - You should be ashamed of yourself. Seeing this fierce competition over the esteemed office of MEXICO you choose to run from the battle. You saw challengers with new, different joke ideas and this scared the living shit out of you. Your face, when you came running into my chambers crying foul and fix will stay with me for a long time. I've not seen that look since the cleaning staff found out that EOC shat in the kettle before leaving. They found out the hard way too. This is not suitable behaviour from a grown man and people expect better from MEXICOs.

FIVE - Following on from the above, the MEXICO elections are free and open to all. Who purchase entry. Thank you for prompt payment of your invoice.

SIX - The shortlist of candidates shall be released MONDAY.

Sleep well you lizard looking son of a bitch.

RIGMMTHAPPGS

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 26, 2013, 10:51:33 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 10:50:52 PM

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 26, 2013, 10:49:09 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 10:48:16 PM

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 26, 2013, 10:47:05 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 10:16:02 PM

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 26, 2013, 10:14:09 PM
:lol: This whole time I've been under the impression that the second half of the joke was the joke.

Well, one day all this will be yours, Nigel.  As for the moment, I'm fucking off to a convent, to be a Bride of Enrico.  No punchlines for you spags.  At least not til I get knocked off by one of his jealous sex midgets.

That sounds like a punchline just looking for a setup.

SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER UNSKINNY BOP AT 11.

TGRR,
Practicing his pole dance for the convent audition.  Has trained his back hair to stand upright on command.

What are these, yeti nuns?

Enrico has standards. 

I want you to imagine Roger doing the Rumpshaker.  In spandex.

Yeah, take THAT to your grave.

:hammer:

:horrormirth:

Notes:  Somewhere in the second 30 seconds of the song, the oscillations get out of control.

Need new filing cabinet.

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 26, 2013, 10:52:24 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 09:49:01 PM

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 26, 2013, 09:46:26 PM
I think The People really wanted the second half of the joke, but were distracted by flashy campaign expenditures.

Well, they can have their glitz.  I shall have the second half of the joke.

Besides, Junkenstien was clearly going to change the poll and the number of votes per person until I lost, and that was funny for a day or so. 

I'm not butthurt, obviously, but I've had 8 hours of sleep in 5 days, and the humor sort of dribbled out of this.

TGGR,

Imma let you finish, but this BULLSHIT about rigging the election MUST CEASE IMMEDIATELY.

ONE-This election has been run in full compliance with the laws of electing a new MEXICO. Ask Hirley0, he drafted the regulations personally.

TWO - Full and open candiate selection is part of the process. You know this. You WANTED this. After your umpteen dozen hissy fits about whether you are even going to share the second part of the joke (Which is increasingly contentious). It is time for a formal decison - Do you wish to be in the short-list of candidates? Do you have the BALLS for an open and honest contest?

THREE - You CISHETREP people disgust me on a deeply personal level. Yet at no stage have I stooped to the many petty personal insults that you have seen fit to pass over this fine upstanding commission. Just reminding you that we are better than you like that.

FOUR - You should be ashamed of yourself. Seeing this fierce competition over the esteemed office of MEXICO you choose to run from the battle. You saw challengers with new, different joke ideas and this scared the living shit out of you. Your face, when you came running into my chambers crying foul and fix will stay with me for a long time. I've not seen that look since the cleaning staff found out that EOC shat in the kettle before leaving. They found out the hard way too. This is not suitable behaviour from a grown man and people expect better from MEXICOs.

FIVE - Following on from the above, the MEXICO elections are free and open to all. Who purchase entry. Thank you for prompt payment of your invoice.

SIX - The shortlist of candidates shall be released MONDAY.

Sleep well you lizard looking son of a bitch.

RIGMMTHAPPGS

Look, take me off the short list and just give my votes to QG or LMNO, and mission accomplished.  The second half of the joke will have been suppressed, as planned...and you took 10% less tries than Florida in 2000 to accomplish this.  Congratulations!

Now, if you'll EXCUSE me, this is my DRESSING ROOM.

Oh no.

No no no.

You don't get away that easily.

You're on the list.

YOU ARE ON ALL THE LISTS.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 09:38:16 PM
Okay, I'm going to clear a few things up:

1.  The FIRST half of the joke was "I'm running for Mexico, I trust I have your vote."  (Sorry Waffle, I can't help it if you Belgians can't pay attention.)

2.  The SECOND half of the joke is, of course, the punchline to the first part of the joke.

3.  Since The People seem to prefer any given candidate over me and the punchline, then I withdraw my offer of a coalition government, and will not serve in any capacity, as this stopped amusing me at some point early this morning.

4.  Given that, the second half of the joke will be, as I had earlier planned to do, sequestered until after my death, whereupon it will be emailed to Nigel, Stella, and ECH, provided they promise not to tell anyone else.

3. I'm not a People  :eek:

4. Promise.

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 26, 2013, 10:52:24 PM
CISHETREP

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 26, 2013, 10:56:48 PM
Oh no.

No no no.

You don't get away that easily.

You're on the list.

YOU ARE ON ALL THE LISTS.

You asked me.

QuoteIt is time for a formal decison - Do you wish to be in the short-list of candidates?

Answer:  No.  I can make more money shaking my scaly backside in Enrico's palace.  Give my spot to some other sucker.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 11:00:06 PM

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 26, 2013, 10:56:48 PM
Oh no.

No no no.

You don't get away that easily.

You're on the list.

YOU ARE ON ALL THE LISTS.

You asked me.

QuoteIt is time for a formal decison - Do you wish to be in the short-list of candidates?

Answer:  No.  I can make more money shaking my scaly backside in Enrico's palace.  Give my spot to some other sucker.

Fine, you want Queen G to pimp you out till you're washed up on meth. I get that. Hells, that's MY MEXICAN DREAM.

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 26, 2013, 11:05:19 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2013, 11:00:06 PM

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 26, 2013, 10:56:48 PM
Oh no.

No no no.

You don't get away that easily.

You're on the list.

YOU ARE ON ALL THE LISTS.

You asked me.

QuoteIt is time for a formal decison - Do you wish to be in the short-list of candidates?

Answer:  No.  I can make more money shaking my scaly backside in Enrico's palace.  Give my spot to some other sucker.

Fine, you want Queen G to pimp you out till you're washed up on meth. I get that. Hells, that's MY MEXICAN DREAM.

No, you apparently missed the part about Enrico's Pleasure Dome while blinded by graft.

I'm out of the politics game, permanently.

Ah, so like all good ex-reptoid politicians you're back into arms dealing?

Also good. Mexico needs arms. And legs. Any organ really, the market is booming

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 26, 2013, 11:08:34 PM
Ah, so like all good ex-reptoid politicians you're back into arms dealing?

Also good. Mexico needs arms. And legs. Any organ really, the market is booming

Damn straight.  I can grow 'em back in like 48 hours.

 :fap: Thread delivers.

JESUS FUCKIN CHRISTO THIS IS THE GUY WHO DEPOSED ME?  HE CAN'T EVEN COMMIT ELECTION FRAUD RIGHT.

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 24, 2013, 05:18:39 AM
(http://img268.imageshack.us/img268/3209/mexicoforever.png)

FINALLY, someone gets Project Infinite Mexico.

AS OF NOW THE VOTE STANDS AS FOLLOWS
Known self confessed lizard person TGGR
15 (20.3%)
Deposed Mexico EOC, Professes no second part of the Joke.
2 (2.7%)
The Current interim ruling Junta, bored and looking to pass the buck
0 (0%)
I don't get it
1 (1.4%)
I don't care
1 (1.4%)
LMNO - Involved by default.
10 (13.5%)
WAFFLES - Wants to Move Mexico to Belgian waters.
8 (10.8%)
Cainiad - Not really sure what's going on
3 (4.1%)
Pergamos - Joining in
0 (0%)
Queen Gogira - Baking and Tentacles.
15 (20.3%)
Nigel - Pro Handjobs for all
6 (8.1%)
Cardinal Pizza Deliverance - Worried about bad handjobs
4 (5.4%)
V3X - Very enthusiastic about the whole handjob proposal
5 (6.8%)
Stelz - No declared position on anything.
1 (1.4%)
Cain - Already knows who the new MEXICO is anyway
2 (2.7%)
/b/earman - Despicable Drunk
0 (0%)
Elder Ippy - Not making the effort.
1 (1.4%)

THE VOTE SHALL NOW BE RESET TO THE MOST COMPETITIVE CANDIDATES.

CHOOSE WITH CAUTION!

(http://img4.imageshack.us/img4/1721/junkensteinformexico.jpg)

VOTE NOW

RUNDOWN ON FINAL CANDIDATES AT 11.

LITERALLY, LIKE 11. I'VE GOT SHIT TO DO.

Voted for QG.

Voted for Roger.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 23, 2013, 04:54:40 PM

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 23, 2013, 04:53:16 PM
I actually do want the second part of the joke.

Nope.  Seriously, it now amuses me to never, ever tell the second half of the joke.  I will have it mailed to ECH and Nigel after my death, provided they first swear that they will never tell any other PDer.

Sort of like Sam Shepard, except that I'll actually deliver (or, rather, my executor will).

:sad:

THANKS A LOT OBAMA JUNKENSTEIN

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 29, 2013, 09:34:23 PM
Voted for Roger.

:argh!:

You are going to KICK MY ASS, and that's ALL THERE IS TO IT.

THIS ELECTION REMINDS ME OF FLORIDA

KEEP RECOUNTING UNTIL THE RIGHT PERSON WINS

You learned about Democracy™ from the wrong country!

zzzZZZZzzzzZZZZZzzzZZZZZzzzz . . .

Y'know what? I don't even WANT a Mexico anymore. I'm just gonna get my Authentic Mexican Cuisine from the Taco Bell down the street.

The 2nd Amendment says I can declare myself Mexico whenever I want. So, you know, elections are kind of unnecessary.

HAH!  QG is KICKING MY PASTY ARSE!

:hammer:

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 29, 2013, 11:37:47 PM
HAH!  QG is KICKING MY PASTY ARSE!

:hammer:

Git 'im, Gogira, GIT 'IM!! :P

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 30, 2013, 12:02:57 AM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 29, 2013, 11:37:47 PM
HAH!  QG is KICKING MY PASTY ARSE!

:hammer:

Git 'im, Gogira, GIT 'IM!! :P

GO GIRA
GO GIRA
GO GIRA

TGRR,
Not even sorry.

A VOTE FOR GOGIRA IS A VOTE FOR CHOCOLATE SALTY BALLS

I like how my votes spiked after Junkenstein launched his new campaign materials

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 30, 2013, 01:14:29 AM
I like how my votes spiked after Junkenstein launched his new campaign materials

We've had enough of his lying chicanery! We want cookies! And hand-jobs! And an end to the madness! But mostly cookies and hand-jobs.

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 30, 2013, 03:20:25 AM

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 30, 2013, 01:14:29 AM
I like how my votes spiked after Junkenstein launched his new campaign materials

We've had enough of his lying chicanery! We want cookies! And hand-jobs! And an end to the madness! But mostly cookies and hand-jobs.

And I want to retire to Salizor, taking the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE with me.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 30, 2013, 03:55:28 AM

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 30, 2013, 03:20:25 AM

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 30, 2013, 01:14:29 AM
I like how my votes spiked after Junkenstein launched his new campaign materials

We've had enough of his lying chicanery! We want cookies! And hand-jobs! And an end to the madness! But mostly cookies and hand-jobs.

And I want to retire to Salizor, taking the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE with me.

Where the chocolate salty balls come from an entirely different source and the handjobs come with a free razorblade in every fist.

Quote from: V3X on April 30, 2013, 06:15:41 AM

(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/1715856/clips/anonexico.jpg)
DO NOT LET THEM FOOL YOU.
THIS ELECTION IS A SHAM!
CHOOSE ANONEXICO
WE DO NOT FORGIVE.
WE DO NOT FORGET.
WE DO TAKE SIESTAS, HOWEVER.

I can support this shit.

This campaign is worthless without super pacs.

(http://www.dylanratigan.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/super-pac-man-20060513014308956_640w.jpg)

Thread delivers!

Amigos,

This tedious but FAIR AND IMPARTIAL process draws to a close. For those who remain indifferent the candidates stand as follows:

CISHETREP TGGR - Still popular despite openly hating you all and refusing to surrender the second part of the joke that he started. Clearly a lost cause.

The Interim ruling Government - We didn't care anyway. And we only started this in the first place because certain reptoids forgot there was even a joke. Whatever. Like we care. Did I mention we don't care? Because we don't.

EOC - No one belived your lies a second time. Has ignored proceedings because he knows he's doomed to failure. Just like INFINITE MEXICO that no-one remembers.

LMNO - Handjobs prove to be unappealing to the masses over the long term. The people are looking for commitment.

WAFFLES-  Like LMNO, there is little popular support to outsource MEXICO

Queen Gogira - You best hope she's got a joke up her sleeve. Or Sleeves. You've seen the tentacles. Not mentioning the mandibles as she made my stunning campaign poster.

Above all, we can see and all agree that this has been fair and open. Fight for the remaining votes MEXICOS.

Or don't and let this great state be ruined by anonimexico. Because they've got realistic plans for the future.

Choose wisely! 

No we cant have that. I would like to throw my flat cap into the ring and put on a sombrero. I promise you nothing for i an an honest politician. Unless youre a lobbyist. I can however promise you project infinite mexico election until roger reveals the second half of the joke.

Hermanos y hermanas- tonight i will give a press conference for reveal informacion muy importante about los candidatos and the terrible truth behind the second half of the joke. Followed by a question and answer session.

¡Amigos y patriotas! I bring to you terrible tidings in this dark hour, where lies are being spread by prospective MEXICOS and rumors about the existence or non-existence of the second part of the joke. What I bring forth to you is evidence of a wide gran conspiración, and información pertinent to the second part of the joke. Indeed, by the end of this conference it will be made clear at the end of this press conference why my campaign for MEXICO is being surpressed by a shadowy group of banditos, and what the second part of the joke is.

¡Arroz y frijoles! Señor Hunkenstein refuses to put me on the ballot, for he knows the danger that I pose, and that if I manage to expose these hombres malos for the calcetines that they are, there will be social upheaval resulting in a MEXICO that is truly para el pueblo, por el pueblo y del pueblo. Luchadores y cucarachas, these conspiradores will not engage me in public debate, for they know that I can expose them and their lies for who they really are. I have intelligence gathered that they intended to assassinate me because I know too much, so my only form of protection, your only form of protection, is for me to come out and tell you what I know to be fact. Conquistadores y baristas, if they harm me now, then they will have confirmed the truth about what I am about to say. It is better for them to leave some with the seed of doubt, than to expose themselves so brazenly. ¡No! Instead they will drag my name through the mud and label me loco, and those who see the truth as people on the fringe, social outcasts.

¡Camisas y pantalones! Even now there is pointless debate over whether or not there is a second half of the joke, when even now squadrons of the second half of the joke appear in our night skies for everyone to see, and pulling of incredible, impossible maneuvers. Our Air Force cannot intercept them. The Cishetrep known as Rojelio tells you that there is a second half of the joke, so that you doubt him. He is telling you this to deceive you. There is a second half of the joke. He really does want to keep it from you. It is highly classified informacion. This is a new tactic developed by the evil Rojelio called mismisinformacion. There is a larger plot going on.

Manzanas y naranjas, this brings me to that shill for the United Nations, El Chupaclowna, and his Project Infinite Mexico. This is a blatant attempt at a New World Order. He wants to round us up into detention camps and put us in FEMA coffins. Fortunately, most people seem to be unimpressed with his foul schemes, but he will never cease in trying to realize their fruition.

Pelucas y jaguares, it gets worse. El hombre lascivo known to you by the nom de guerre, El Emeño promises you the hand job, but it will not be you to receive the hand job. It will be him to lay back and enjoy the fruits of your Manuel labor. It is nothing more than trickle down economics in a way that Ronaldo Reagano never foresaw.

Piso mojados y mojitos, Waffles has yet to produce his long form certificate to back his claims that he is a Viking Princess from Belgium. There is no certificate. He was born in los Estados Unidos and is disqualified from running as MEXICO. And more to that, he is neither a Viking nor a princess, but rather a cab driver and a baroness.

Cervezas y jabones, this leaves me with La Reina Gohira. Actually I'm quite in favor of her platform, but ¿where is the tax dinero going to come from? Sure, everyone wants tentacles and cookies, but the pesos just aren't in the budget for me. It is everyone's responsibility to get their own tentacles and cookies, even if they can't afford them. ¿Why is she even given serious consideration?

Compañeros, it is because of Rojelio and his vast conspiracion has propped her up to divert our attention from the real issue- the second part of the joke. The second part of the joke is this whole thread. Rojelio knew that this would happen, and that is why he is keeping the joke to himself. If we knew that this was the joke, it would cease to be funny. The joke must exist at our expense. This is not a democracy. ¿Donde esta Nigel? She is not on the ballot. Nor is Señor Bearman. If this were a democracy, a MEXICO truly for the people, we would all be on the ballot. This is why I run for MEXICO at great personal risk from los Illuminatos. ¿Who will run with me? ¡VIVA NO MEXICO!

It appears that my opponent Señor Twid is unfamiliar with the economics of large-scale tentacle distribution, which unfortunately is what we have come to expect from prospective MEXICOs. Unlike other candidates, my track record speaks for itself.
The People demanded cookies, and I supplied them with cookies.
The People demanded snail porn, and I supplied them with snail porn.
Twid talks a big game about tentacles, but what does he really know about them? He's maybe .5% tentacle at most. I have tentacles coming out of my face. I'm so full of tentacles I'm not allowed within 100 yards of schools or playgrounds. When I was born they had to bury my placenta in the swamp to keep the dogs from tearing up the garbage and now the tentacles are under the entire eastern seaboard. "¿where is the tax dinero going to come from?" indeed.

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on May 04, 2013, 02:19:46 AM
It appears that my opponent Señor Twid is unfamiliar with the economics of large-scale tentacle distribution, which unfortunately is what we have come to expect from prospective MEXICOs. Unlike other candidates, my track record speaks for itself.
The People demanded cookies, and I supplied them with cookies.
The People demanded snail porn, and I supplied them with snail porn.
Twid talks a big game about tentacles, but what does he really know about them? He's maybe .5% tentacle at most. I have tentacles coming out of my face. I'm so full of tentacles I'm not allowed within 100 yards of schools or playgrounds. When I was born they had to bury my placenta in the swamp to keep the dogs from tearing up the garbage and now the tentacles are under the entire eastern seaboard. "¿where is the tax dinero going to come from?" indeed.

All I know is that people have been promising tentacles for some time now and the tentacles do not come. We're too busy waiting in line for the tentacles like Canadianos to actually get the tentacles. It's like waiting for toilet paper and bread in Leningrad. There are no tentacles. There is no denero to pay for it. Los pesos need to go to better programas. You have delivered on the snail porn and the cookies. You cannot deliver on the tentacles. I did not see any of your supposed tentacles when we had comida.

Quote from: Queef Erisson on May 04, 2013, 02:45:23 AM

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on May 04, 2013, 02:19:46 AM
It appears that my opponent Señor Twid is unfamiliar with the economics of large-scale tentacle distribution, which unfortunately is what we have come to expect from prospective MEXICOs. Unlike other candidates, my track record speaks for itself.
The People demanded cookies, and I supplied them with cookies.
The People demanded snail porn, and I supplied them with snail porn.
Twid talks a big game about tentacles, but what does he really know about them? He's maybe .5% tentacle at most. I have tentacles coming out of my face. I'm so full of tentacles I'm not allowed within 100 yards of schools or playgrounds. When I was born they had to bury my placenta in the swamp to keep the dogs from tearing up the garbage and now the tentacles are under the entire eastern seaboard. "¿where is the tax dinero going to come from?" indeed.

All I know is that people have been promising tentacles for some time now and the tentacles do not come. We're too busy waiting in line for the tentacles like Canadianos to actually get the tentacles. It's like waiting for toilet paper and bread in Leningrad. There are no tentacles. There is no denero to pay for it. Los pesos need to go to better programas. You have delivered on the snail porn and the cookies. You cannot deliver on the tentacles. I did not see any of your supposed tentacles when we had comida.

No tentacles were promised for comida, and I'm not MEXICO yet. Your campaign is built on half-truths and unrealistic demands. Is this what The People want for their MEXICO?

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on May 04, 2013, 02:57:34 AM

Quote from: Queef Erisson on May 04, 2013, 02:45:23 AM

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on May 04, 2013, 02:19:46 AM
It appears that my opponent Señor Twid is unfamiliar with the economics of large-scale tentacle distribution, which unfortunately is what we have come to expect from prospective MEXICOs. Unlike other candidates, my track record speaks for itself.
The People demanded cookies, and I supplied them with cookies.
The People demanded snail porn, and I supplied them with snail porn.
Twid talks a big game about tentacles, but what does he really know about them? He's maybe .5% tentacle at most. I have tentacles coming out of my face. I'm so full of tentacles I'm not allowed within 100 yards of schools or playgrounds. When I was born they had to bury my placenta in the swamp to keep the dogs from tearing up the garbage and now the tentacles are under the entire eastern seaboard. "¿where is the tax dinero going to come from?" indeed.

All I know is that people have been promising tentacles for some time now and the tentacles do not come. We're too busy waiting in line for the tentacles like Canadianos to actually get the tentacles. It's like waiting for toilet paper and bread in Leningrad. There are no tentacles. There is no denero to pay for it. Los pesos need to go to better programas. You have delivered on the snail porn and the cookies. You cannot deliver on the tentacles. I did not see any of your supposed tentacles when we had comida.

No tentacles were promised for comida, and I'm not MEXICO yet. Your campaign is built on half-truths and unrealistic demands. Is this what The People want for their MEXICO?

You can deny being a puppet of Rojelio all you want, but I think that I have demonstrated fool-proof logic to the contrary.

I see that I have been added to the ballot. I have already voted and demand a reset of the vote as tradition dictates, so that I may vote for myself and 4 other people.

This truly is a sham! Señor Hunkenstein has reset the vote everytime a nuevo candidato has joined the election, except for me. I can only assume that he was doing this all along as a false flag operation to deflect attencion away from Rojelio's machinaciones. ¡Your lies are transparent, Señor Hunkenstein, you botella vacía de mostaza!

¿Do you see now, Reina, how you have been set up as a puppet?

Hermanos y hermanas, you see now the duplicity of Señor Hunkenstein.

Quote from: El Twid on May 04, 2013, 01:27:35 AM
The second part of the joke is this whole thread.

Nope.  It's a really awesome joke.

I'm keeping it for myself, win or lose.

I prefer my conspiracy theory. It lets me believe i can know the second part of the joke without the release of your classified documents.

Besides senor hunkenstein has not reset the vote like he has every other time. This means he wants to shut me out because im on to the truth. This election is rigged.

(http://i40.tinypic.com/30x7toz.jpg)

HELLO, it's MAY 6th!

RESULTS, PLS.

VOTES ARE BEING COUNTED.

RESULTS AT 11 TOMORROW.

Quote from: Junkenstein on May 06, 2013, 10:48:16 PM
VOTES ARE BEING COUNTED.

RESULTS AT 11 TOMORROW.

It's over.  QG won.  Hand her the presidential seal and let's get on with things.

DO NOT RUSH THE COUNTING PROCESS.

Quote from: Junkenstein on May 06, 2013, 10:50:31 PM
DO NOT RUSH THE COUNTING PROCESS.

It's right up on top of the screen.  The software does it for you.

Granted, she used alts to vote for herself 4 times, but that's exactly the sort of initiative I want to see in My Mexico.

As you well know, foul reptile, that is but one part of the counting process.

We must count pre-post-future-postal-electronic-parcel-revised-changed-invalid-vaildbutwrong-bribes-fake-primary-secondary-tertiary-joke and protest votes.

Then the goons.

Then the announcement. You know the routine. Let us continue counting.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 06, 2013, 10:53:38 PM
Granted, she used alts to vote for herself 4 times, but that's exactly the sort of initiative I want to see in My Mexico.

I couldn't get any of my alts to vote for me.   :cry:

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 06, 2013, 10:53:38 PM
Granted, she used alts to vote for herself 4 times, but that's exactly the sort of initiative I want to see in My Mexico.

Actually, I think I only stuffed the ballot after the first reset, this one may be legit.

Quote from: Junkenstein on May 06, 2013, 10:58:50 PM
As you well know, foul reptile, that is but one part of the counting process.

We must count pre-post-future-postal-electronic-parcel-revised-changed-invalid-vaildbutwrong-bribes-fake-primary-secondary-tertiary-joke and protest votes.

Then the goons.

Then the announcement. You know the routine. Let us continue counting.

That's it.  I'm calling Katheryn Harris.

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 06, 2013, 11:00:13 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 06, 2013, 10:53:38 PM
Granted, she used alts to vote for herself 4 times, but that's exactly the sort of initiative I want to see in My Mexico.

I couldn't get any of my alts to vote for me.   :cry:

That's because you're a Nuevo Mondo Order shill.

And the election was rigged. I couldn't even vote for myself because Junkenstein wouldn't reset like he usually did.

Quote from: El Twid on May 07, 2013, 01:03:43 AM

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 06, 2013, 11:00:13 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 06, 2013, 10:53:38 PM
Granted, she used alts to vote for herself 4 times, but that's exactly the sort of initiative I want to see in My Mexico.

I couldn't get any of my alts to vote for me.   :cry:

That's because you're a Nuevo Mondo Order shill.

And the election was rigged. I couldn't even vote for myself because Junkenstein wouldn't reset like he usually did.

Yeah, Twid should have gotten a reset. I RESIGN AS MEXICO IN PROTEST.

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on May 07, 2013, 01:48:13 AM

Quote from: El Twid on May 07, 2013, 01:03:43 AM

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 06, 2013, 11:00:13 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 06, 2013, 10:53:38 PM
Granted, she used alts to vote for herself 4 times, but that's exactly the sort of initiative I want to see in My Mexico.

I couldn't get any of my alts to vote for me.   :cry:

That's because you're a Nuevo Mondo Order shill.

And the election was rigged. I couldn't even vote for myself because Junkenstein wouldn't reset like he usually did.

Yeah, Twid should have gotten a reset. I RESIGN AS MEXICO IN PROTEST.

Crap. We need a new MEXICO.

Quote from: El Twid on May 07, 2013, 01:49:04 AM

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on May 07, 2013, 01:48:13 AM

Quote from: El Twid on May 07, 2013, 01:03:43 AM

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 06, 2013, 11:00:13 PM

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 06, 2013, 10:53:38 PM
Granted, she used alts to vote for herself 4 times, but that's exactly the sort of initiative I want to see in My Mexico.

I couldn't get any of my alts to vote for me.   :cry:

That's because you're a Nuevo Mondo Order shill.

And the election was rigged. I couldn't even vote for myself because Junkenstein wouldn't reset like he usually did.

Yeah, Twid should have gotten a reset. I RESIGN AS MEXICO IN PROTEST.

Crap. We need a new MEXICO.

Or, you know, a reset.


So I can beat you fair and square.

I'm gonna run this shit.

New election begins tomorrow.

Ends on Friday.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 07, 2013, 02:06:59 AM
New election begins tomorrow.

Ends on Friday.

Sweet!

WHEN WILL WE HAVE A NEW MEXICO?  :cry:

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 07, 2013, 02:37:55 AM
WHEN WILL WE HAVE A NEW MEXICO?  :cry:

FRIDAY.

WE ARE CUTTING TO THE CHASE.

JUNKENSTIEN HAS PROVEN UNEQUAL TO THE TASK.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 07, 2013, 02:39:23 AM

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 07, 2013, 02:37:55 AM
WHEN WILL WE HAVE A NEW MEXICO?  :cry:

FRIDAY.

WE ARE CUTTING TO THE CHASE.

JUNKENSTIEN HAS PROVEN UNEQUAL TO THE TASK.

AGREED.

Isn't Senor Hunkenstein Welsh? It would explain some things.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 07, 2013, 02:39:23 AM

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 07, 2013, 02:37:55 AM
WHEN WILL WE HAVE A NEW MEXICO?  :cry:

FRIDAY.

WE ARE CUTTING TO THE CHASE.

JUNKENSTIEN HAS PROVEN UNEQUAL TO THE TASK.

Finally! A New Mexico!  :banana:

YOU CAN'T JUST APPOINT YOURSELF THE OFFICIAL ELECTOR OF MEXICO!
We need an election to determine which election has the support of the people.

Quote from: V3X on May 07, 2013, 03:52:38 AM
YOU CAN'T JUST APPOINT YOURSELF THE OFFICIAL ELECTOR OF MEXICO!
We need an election to determine which election has the support of the people.

Then I vote for Rojelio as election running guy.

Quote from: V3X on May 07, 2013, 03:52:38 AM
YOU CAN'T JUST APPOINT YOURSELF THE OFFICIAL ELECTOR OF MEXICO!
We need an election to determine which election has the support of the people.

I just did.

This guy voted for me:

(http://www.bhmpics.com/walls/m1_a1_abrams_tank-other.jpg)

I am appalled and dismayed by this inelegant coup.

I wash my hands of you all. Seriously, does no one appreciate a good honest election anymore?

And to spite you all I'm not even going to reveal the winner.