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#61
Apple Talk / Re: Tales from the Cutting Edg...
Last post by Doktor Howl - October 27, 2025, 09:35:42 PMLaura, it seems, was plunging out a toilet that a patient had attempted to flush 2 rolls of toilet paper and a shoe.
Me: "Laura, when you're done with this, I need to see you in my office."
(Later)
Laura: "You wanted to see me?"
Me: "Yes, come in, sit down."
Laura: *looks nervous*
Me: "Laura, I need a maintenance lead. Since you seem to be the only one working, you're it. Provided you want the pay that goes with it."
Laura: "You know I just started a month ago."
Me: "Yes, so you haven't been contaminated. Your job from this point forward is to make the crew work. You will move up two pay grades to <amount>."
Laura: "What about Mike? He's going to shit kittens. He really doesn't like me."
Me: "Who?"
Laura: "The guy you hauled into the office."
Me: "Don't worry about that. He was just a bad dream you had."
Laura: <side eye>
Me: "You can look at me like I'm one of our patients all you like. It might even be accurate. But Mike will no longer be a noisy distraction to your workday. Looking at your resume, you worked for your dad's general contracting firm for 6 years. How did you handle working in that rather delicate situation?"
Laura: "I told people to work or hit the road."
Me: "See? No problems. Tomorrow morning I will make the announcement and you will distribute the work. If there are any problems, handle them. Assign the work as you see fit. Send people home as you see fit. If you have trouble handling them, I will be very disappointed, at which point I will handle the problem. Feel free to tell them that you are the soft option. In any case, I have a new maintenance manager starting in a few weeks. If you have proven yourself, you will continue to be the lead. Do we have an agreement?"
Laura: "Yes. But I feel like Dr Faust for some reason, except Mephistopheles is crazy."
Me: "That's not inappropriate."
Laura: "..."
Me: "We are going to do great things."
Me: "Laura, when you're done with this, I need to see you in my office."
(Later)
Laura: "You wanted to see me?"
Me: "Yes, come in, sit down."
Laura: *looks nervous*
Me: "Laura, I need a maintenance lead. Since you seem to be the only one working, you're it. Provided you want the pay that goes with it."
Laura: "You know I just started a month ago."
Me: "Yes, so you haven't been contaminated. Your job from this point forward is to make the crew work. You will move up two pay grades to <amount>."
Laura: "What about Mike? He's going to shit kittens. He really doesn't like me."
Me: "Who?"
Laura: "The guy you hauled into the office."
Me: "Don't worry about that. He was just a bad dream you had."
Laura: <side eye>
Me: "You can look at me like I'm one of our patients all you like. It might even be accurate. But Mike will no longer be a noisy distraction to your workday. Looking at your resume, you worked for your dad's general contracting firm for 6 years. How did you handle working in that rather delicate situation?"
Laura: "I told people to work or hit the road."
Me: "See? No problems. Tomorrow morning I will make the announcement and you will distribute the work. If there are any problems, handle them. Assign the work as you see fit. Send people home as you see fit. If you have trouble handling them, I will be very disappointed, at which point I will handle the problem. Feel free to tell them that you are the soft option. In any case, I have a new maintenance manager starting in a few weeks. If you have proven yourself, you will continue to be the lead. Do we have an agreement?"
Laura: "Yes. But I feel like Dr Faust for some reason, except Mephistopheles is crazy."
Me: "That's not inappropriate."
Laura: "..."
Me: "We are going to do great things."
#62
Apple Talk / Re: Tales from the Cutting Edg...
Last post by Doktor Howl - October 27, 2025, 09:21:24 PMDay 1, October 27th:
Initial impression: Shop is a mess. The maintenance manager is shouting into the face of some young lady wearing a tool belt. The rest of the crew is sitting at a table playing cards. Manager notices me and turns away from the young lady and askes, and I quote, "What the fuck do you want?"
At my own request, none of my departments were told that I was hired. You tend to get a more honest view of people that way. Apparently, I got a *very* honest view of this collection of bad wiring.
Me: "I'm the new facilities director, as you can see from my ID. Your ID says you are Mike, the *current* maintenance manager."
Mike: "..."
Me: "Let's have a little chat in your office. Young lady, what is your name?"
Laura: "I'm Laura."
Me: "And you are a maintenance tech?"
Laura: "Yes."
Me: "Then please go do maintenance things. The rest of you lot do the same."
(In the office)
Mike: "Sorry about that, you know how dud employees can be."
Me: "Why, yes I do. Now, please get your environment of care binders out and let's see where we are for the next inspection."
Mike: "Um"
Me: "Never mind. Here they are. What's this? There is nothing in this binder."
Mike: "We don't have time for that shit."
Me: "Yes, that might interfere in the card game. How long have you been here?"
Mike: "Two years."
Me: "So you have never been in a joint commission inspection? The one that happens in 25 days?"
Mike: "No."
Me: "So you are unaware that our license is at stake?"
Mike: "I don't have to take this shit."
Me: "No, you absolutely do not have to take this shit. Clock out, please. HR will call you tomorrow for a chat."
Mike: "You can't do this."
Me: "I can. I did."
Mike: "I will go over your head. You'll be out of here so fast your head will spin."
Me: "Please do. The CEO hired me. Let me know how it goes. Only later, because you're clocking out now."
Mike: *swears a lot, leaves*
Walking outside, the entire crew, minus Laura, is in the smoking area.
I am going to enjoy this more than would be considered reasonable.
Initial impression: Shop is a mess. The maintenance manager is shouting into the face of some young lady wearing a tool belt. The rest of the crew is sitting at a table playing cards. Manager notices me and turns away from the young lady and askes, and I quote, "What the fuck do you want?"
At my own request, none of my departments were told that I was hired. You tend to get a more honest view of people that way. Apparently, I got a *very* honest view of this collection of bad wiring.
Me: "I'm the new facilities director, as you can see from my ID. Your ID says you are Mike, the *current* maintenance manager."
Mike: "..."
Me: "Let's have a little chat in your office. Young lady, what is your name?"
Laura: "I'm Laura."
Me: "And you are a maintenance tech?"
Laura: "Yes."
Me: "Then please go do maintenance things. The rest of you lot do the same."
(In the office)
Mike: "Sorry about that, you know how dud employees can be."
Me: "Why, yes I do. Now, please get your environment of care binders out and let's see where we are for the next inspection."
Mike: "Um"
Me: "Never mind. Here they are. What's this? There is nothing in this binder."
Mike: "We don't have time for that shit."
Me: "Yes, that might interfere in the card game. How long have you been here?"
Mike: "Two years."
Me: "So you have never been in a joint commission inspection? The one that happens in 25 days?"
Mike: "No."
Me: "So you are unaware that our license is at stake?"
Mike: "I don't have to take this shit."
Me: "No, you absolutely do not have to take this shit. Clock out, please. HR will call you tomorrow for a chat."
Mike: "You can't do this."
Me: "I can. I did."
Mike: "I will go over your head. You'll be out of here so fast your head will spin."
Me: "Please do. The CEO hired me. Let me know how it goes. Only later, because you're clocking out now."
Mike: *swears a lot, leaves*
Walking outside, the entire crew, minus Laura, is in the smoking area.
I am going to enjoy this more than would be considered reasonable.
#63
Aneristic Illusions / Re: The Republicult™ On Parade
Last post by Doktor Howl - October 27, 2025, 08:51:07 PMQuote from: Faust on October 17, 2025, 07:57:38 AMIt begins the outward normalisation of the transition from republican party, to white nationalist party, they want people to know, they want to get to the point that that they can come out of the closet with that.
They're already very comfortable with the idea.
#64
Aneristic Illusions / Re: The Republicult™ On Parade
Last post by Doktor Howl - October 27, 2025, 08:50:35 PMQuote from: Pergamos on October 17, 2025, 03:47:56 PMQuote from: Faust on October 17, 2025, 07:57:38 AMIt begins the outward normalisation of the transition from republican party, to white nationalist party, they want people to know, they want to get to the point that that they can come out of the closet with that.
Fortunately I think they're rushing that a bit. All the MAGAts I've talked to are still opposed to nazis, and the KKK.
MAGAs aren't for talking to.
#65
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Regarding 'Merica's Actual...
Last post by Abbot Mythos - October 27, 2025, 03:16:08 AMThis begs the question: Just how vile does a Republicult™ presidential candidate have to be before they can be beaten by a Democratic, female, Black and Asian-American vice president?
'I am not done.' Kamala Harris weighs in on another presidential bid
Now, I voted for Kamala Harris in 2024. And, I will vote for her again, if she wins the Democratic nomination for POTUS in 2028. But, voting to nominate her to run for POTUS again in 2028 is a not a risk I'm willing to take. The stakes are just too high for that.
'I am not done.' Kamala Harris weighs in on another presidential bid
Now, I voted for Kamala Harris in 2024. And, I will vote for her again, if she wins the Democratic nomination for POTUS in 2028. But, voting to nominate her to run for POTUS again in 2028 is a not a risk I'm willing to take. The stakes are just too high for that.
#66
Bring and Brag / Re: Favorite Sentences Megathr...
Last post by Abbot Mythos - October 27, 2025, 03:07:07 AM"Money can't buy class."
Exhibit A: The POSOTUS
Exhibit A: The POSOTUS
#67
Apple Talk / Re: On This Day in History
Last post by Abbot Mythos - October 26, 2025, 01:05:18 PMOctober 26, 1881 - The Gunfight at the O.K. Corral
Final Score: Lawmen 3 Cochise County Cowboys 0
Final Score: Lawmen 3 Cochise County Cowboys 0
#68
Aneristic Illusions / Re: The Resistance 2.0!
Last post by Abbot Mythos - October 26, 2025, 01:48:19 AMGovernor Newsom has clearly established himself as a Resistance 2.0 leader with a wicked sense of humor:
Newsom Roasts Trump Suck-Ups With a New Line of MAGA Kneepads
As per this article:
"California Gov. Gavin Newsom took a sharp jab at Donald Trump and all those who "bend the knee" to him by announcing the launch of a range of "MAGA Kneepads."
Speaking at the California Economic Summit in Stockton on Wednesday, Newsom flagged the latest addition to the range of Trump-baiting merchandise sold on his satirical "Patriot" website.
"You will be seeing on my Patriot site new kneepads that I'll be sending out," Newsom told the crowd. He said the items were intended for "all the CEOs, media companies, law firms, and universities" he accused of groveling to Trump as he took America "back to a pre-1960s world.""
So, don't forget, the Sacred 'Merican Church and State Approved Xmas Gift Buying Season is just around the corner. And, it's remotely possible there just may be a prominent MAGAt on your very own Xmas List, who will both appreciate, and eagerly utilize an actually useful gift like a pair of MAGA Kneepads.
Newsom Roasts Trump Suck-Ups With a New Line of MAGA Kneepads
As per this article:
"California Gov. Gavin Newsom took a sharp jab at Donald Trump and all those who "bend the knee" to him by announcing the launch of a range of "MAGA Kneepads."
Speaking at the California Economic Summit in Stockton on Wednesday, Newsom flagged the latest addition to the range of Trump-baiting merchandise sold on his satirical "Patriot" website.
"You will be seeing on my Patriot site new kneepads that I'll be sending out," Newsom told the crowd. He said the items were intended for "all the CEOs, media companies, law firms, and universities" he accused of groveling to Trump as he took America "back to a pre-1960s world.""
So, don't forget, the Sacred 'Merican Church and State Approved Xmas Gift Buying Season is just around the corner. And, it's remotely possible there just may be a prominent MAGAt on your very own Xmas List, who will both appreciate, and eagerly utilize an actually useful gift like a pair of MAGA Kneepads.
#69
Aneristic Illusions / Re: The Republicult™ On Parade
Last post by Abbot Mythos - October 25, 2025, 09:08:11 PMQuote from: MMIX on October 25, 2025, 08:41:07 AMSo ... MAGAts In Name Only? Okay ... but calling them MAGAtINOs is clumsy. It just doesn't work, and will never catch on. And, simply shortening it to MINOs doesn't work either.Quote from: Pergamos on October 17, 2025, 03:47:56 PMQuote from: Faust on October 17, 2025, 07:57:38 AMIt begins the outward normalisation of the transition from republican party, to white nationalist party, they want people to know, they want to get to the point that that they can come out of the closet with that.
Fortunately I think they're rushing that a bit. All the MAGAts I've talked to are still opposed to nazis, and the KKK.
. . . no true MAGAt . . .
But, what about MINNOWs, meaning MAGAts IN Name Only Wankers, with MINNOW being the singular version? I, for one, see possibilities in this insult. For instance, imagine, if you will, a graphic of a school of MINNOWs swimming around in the Turd Reich's Cesspool, with true MAGAts gathered round and jeering at them.
And, it would be really hilarious if the MINNOWs "took the bait," and began proclaiming themselves to be True MAGATs too. I would love watching two MAGAt factions trying to "out MAGAt" each other.
#70
Apple Talk / Re: Tales from the Cutting Edg...
Last post by Pergamos - October 25, 2025, 05:20:17 PMQuote from: Doktor Howl on October 25, 2025, 04:08:23 AMSo I quit the biz. I took a job as the facilities director at a mental hospital (who didn't see THIS coming), partly because I was getting bored, and partly because of The Thing getting loose, which severely tarnished (read: the vultures are circling) the company I was working for.
Also because I have turned over a new leaf. I am a new man (You will politely ignore that I still have a consulting side gig in the biz). No more shiny new war crimes, now I'm gonna HELP people. So everyone stop screaming.
All I have to do is recruit a certain someone away from his gig in Connecticut and this will be perfect. I start Monday.
We are going to do great things. For crazy people.
I can see this going very well, or very badly, but more likely both, at the same time, in ways that are currently hard to imagine but will be indelibly etched on our minds, once you regale us with the stories of your adventures.