Shyness vs. gynophobia

[Don Coyote]

This is really an interesting thread for me, even though I don't have anything productive to add.

I bet you have something to add, you just haven't percolated it yet.

I know how you are, missy.

Ain't like nuffin, miss. [/surly denial]

You posted in di fread.

YOU HAVE THOUGHTS BUBBLING AND BREWING IN YUOR HEADTHING!!!!!!!!!!!


DON'T LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Or....I might be high.

[Freeky]

 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

This is really an interesting thread for me, even though I don't have anything productive to add.

I bet you have something to add, you just haven't percolated it yet.

I know how you are, missy.

Ain't like nuffin, miss. [/surly denial]

You posted in di fread.

YOU HAVE THOUGHTS BUBBLING AND BREWING IN YUOR HEADTHING!!!!!!!!!!!


DON'T LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Or....I might be high.

I'm posting, and I have no thoughts at all.

Yep.  It's bone, from ear to ear.

[Don Coyote]

This is really an interesting thread for me, even though I don't have anything productive to add.

I bet you have something to add, you just haven't percolated it yet.

I know how you are, missy.

Ain't like nuffin, miss. [/surly denial]

You posted in di fread.

YOU HAVE THOUGHTS BUBBLING AND BREWING IN YUOR HEADTHING!!!!!!!!!!!


DON'T LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Or....I might be high.

I'm posting, and I have no thoughts at all.

Yep.  It's bone, from ear to ear.

YUO ARE NOT FREEKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

This is really an interesting thread for me, even though I don't have anything productive to add.

I bet you have something to add, you just haven't percolated it yet.

I know how you are, missy.

Ain't like nuffin, miss. [/surly denial]

You posted in di fread.

YOU HAVE THOUGHTS BUBBLING AND BREWING IN YUOR HEADTHING!!!!!!!!!!!


DON'T LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Or....I might be high.

I'm posting, and I have no thoughts at all.

Yep.  It's bone, from ear to ear.

YUO ARE NOT FREEKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As far as YOU know.   

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

This is really an interesting thread for me, even though I don't have anything productive to add.

I bet you have something to add, you just haven't percolated it yet.

I know how you are, missy.

Ain't like nuffin, miss. [/surly denial]

You posted in di fread.

YOU HAVE THOUGHTS BUBBLING AND BREWING IN YUOR HEADTHING!!!!!!!!!!!


DON'T LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Or....I might be high.

I'm posting, and I have no thoughts at all.

Yep.  It's bone, from ear to ear.

YUO ARE NOT FREEKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As far as YOU know.   

[Freeky]

Two laptops in one house, it'd be so easy to be on both at the same time.

[Don Coyote]

This is really an interesting thread for me, even though I don't have anything productive to add.

I bet you have something to add, you just haven't percolated it yet.

I know how you are, missy.

Ain't like nuffin, miss. [/surly denial]

You posted in di fread.

YOU HAVE THOUGHTS BUBBLING AND BREWING IN YUOR HEADTHING!!!!!!!!!!!


DON'T LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Or....I might be high.

I'm posting, and I have no thoughts at all.

Yep.  It's bone, from ear to ear.

YUO ARE NOT FREEKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As far as YOU know.   

I hate you both

[The Good Reverend Roger]

My mind is a birdcage, tonight.

And it has not been cleaned.   

[Wyldkat]

Reading through this thread was very interesting.  It makes me wonder where the line is between shyness and fear of the opposite sex.  A person could be shy, or shy just around the opposite sex or just in certain situations.  I wonder if some people intentionally go after people who aren't in their "league" because they are too afraid to approach someone they would actually have a chance with?  It's possible that that type of trying to get a date is actually a symptom of gynophobia rather than a cause of it.

Some of the posters discussing shyness sound like they are a touch more than simply shy.  I would fall into that category.  I have social anxiety.  Very simply put it is an extreme form of shyness specifically in social situations where you feel that other people are constantly judging you.  Poor self esteem can compound the issue making you certain that everyone is going to think poorly of you no matter what.  Social anxiety can be so bad the people will literally do everything they can to avoid leaving their "safe" areas. 

[Slyph]

Eh, I think I figured it out. The biggest change, lately, was the change in my job duties, I got taken out of the house I was working in and put on minibus runs. Now I pretty much hated everyone who worked with me in the house, all the cool people had fled when we got a new manager, one of my buddies got hounded out of his job after two people conspired to make it look as though he was stealing from the service users (He wasn't).

Now I work on the bus, and I fucking LOVE my colleagues, I love their wrinkled old asses, they're my bus mom and dad. But what's missing is; I used to be the only competent worker. I used to be the only one who wasn't a gossiping shithead. I was the only non-idiot there, and I'm not so smart. Here's a typical quote from one of the people I used to work with...

"What's Berlin?"

You catch that? Not "Where's Berlin?" fucking "What is Berlin." Someone used the word Berlin in a sentence, girl didn't know what it meant. Damn.

Basically I don't feel axiomatically good and cool by process of elimination. I don't have a bunch of whiny half assed backstabbers around me to make me feel positively fucking chivalrous all the time. I've lost faith in myself because I no longer have the lovely ego boost that comes from not being them.

And I miss my bro Patient H, we had some times :-/

[Triple Zero]

I give up.

Hmm. Let me try to explain.

OP referred to ugly men blaming women for not wanting them sexually. I called this externalizing/projecting. OP pointed out that the solution was in the mirror. I called that internalizing. Mrs LMNO pointed out that overdoing that internalization could lead to self-hate, anorexia, bulimia, etc.

aaaahhhh okay now I get it. See I was thinking you were talking about Unqualified's problems, not the OP, hence it didn't make any sense to me. Thanks

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Reading through this thread was very interesting.  It makes me wonder where the line is between shyness and fear of the opposite sex.  A person could be shy, or shy just around the opposite sex or just in certain situations.  I wonder if some people intentionally go after people who aren't in their "league" because they are too afraid to approach someone they would actually have a chance with?  It's possible that that type of trying to get a date is actually a symptom of gynophobia rather than a cause of it.

Some of the posters discussing shyness sound like they are a touch more than simply shy.  I would fall into that category.  I have social anxiety.  Very simply put it is an extreme form of shyness specifically in social situations where you feel that other people are constantly judging you.  Poor self esteem can compound the issue making you certain that everyone is going to think poorly of you no matter what.  Social anxiety can be so bad the people will literally do everything they can to avoid leaving their "safe" areas. 

Shyness is actually very poorly clinically defined, and also very poorly studied. It seems obvious that seeking a mate that is clearly far from a match for oneself in terms of age, appearance, and even interests and culture (I don't mean ethnic culture-of-origin, but chosen culture... for instance, a Republican suburbanite from Beaverton who isn't very intellectual, dislikes liberals, and is uncomfortable with hipsters is an obvious poor cultural match for me, yet they hit on me all the time)  is a symptom of something. I don't think it's a symptom of "shyness", but it may be a symptom of a neurosis that has the same root as shyness.

I think that "shyness" is an umbrella word used to cover a number of neuroses, including social anxiety, various phobias, and intense shame and low self-esteem.

[Freeky]

Nigel is on to something ITT.  I think you ought to go get a degree in this field, you could do something with it.

[Jasper]

I tend to be slightly shy around people in general, until I've had a moment to get used to them.  But it's really not a big impediment.  What really impedes me is that I never seem to notice when a girl is showing interest.  It goes straight over my head.

No joke:  Was at an indian restaurant. Me, another single dude, a couple, and the girlfriend's sister.  Other single dude was hitting on the sister all night, but when she was asked what kind of guys she tends to date, she comes out and says "I mostly just sleep with Lucas' friends."  And then stares at me.  I did NOT notice this, somehow, but everyone else did.  I heard about it quite a lot afterward.

Sigh.