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Because I love you all.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, February 04, 2012, 12:57:36 AM

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The Good Reverend Roger

February 04, 2012, 12:57:36 AM
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

#1
February 04, 2012, 01:02:53 AM
What......
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

P3nT4gR4m

#2
February 04, 2012, 01:03:29 AM
My eyes feel like there's tiny little beetles all over them, crawling around, smearing shit all over my pupils and wanking into my tearducts! I like this feeling - where do I get more :eek:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Salty

#3
February 04, 2012, 01:08:25 AM
 :fap2:

I love me some model train action. Screw not breaking them though. What's the point?
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Cainad (dec.)

#4
February 04, 2012, 01:34:47 AM
"i'm not gay" :lulz:

Craigslist has revealed to me this previously unimagined sphere of self-denying homosexual men who come up with incredibly goofy excuses to interact with another guy's Happy Bits.

Also, 25-70? I guess he can't afford to be picky, but damn.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#5
February 04, 2012, 01:58:36 AM
NO WEIRDOS.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Freeky

#6
February 04, 2012, 02:20:45 AM
QuoteBEAT IT WITH A REAL JO-BRO – m4m
Posted: May 23rd, 2010 | No Comments »

This post is a reprint of a post that originally appeared at craigslist'in En Ýyileri.


I'm a serious bro looking for a equally/more serious bro with fancy footwork. The idea is to tie our wrists together ala the "Beat It" video and then each JO/knife fight in a profound spiritual act of consensual hetero awesomeness. I would have done this way sooner but have little faith in humanity.

Requirements:
-access to an abandoned warehouse
-old enough/built kinda awesome
-maintains good eye contact
-general intensity
-cool moves
-shades
-leather jackets ( I had to give the one in the pic back - long story, I can tell you when we finish)
-Bedazzler
-basic knowledge of knife/sword/bat fight etiquette (I can teach you what I know if you are pretty serious about art like me)
-can lift 80 lbs
-bachelor's in something or equivalent experience
-not a narc

Whereas dudes/J-ing O are both undeniably awesome, I'm a straight bro. As in not gay. I just really love MJ and being open minded about new JO scenarios. We will basically play "Beat It" over and over again while we JO and dance, occasionally parrying/thrusting. Winner finishes the most times, but points will be awarded for finishing first/accuracy. If you're the heter-bro I'm looking for, then we can JO furiously/competitively and then just hang or whatever. I've got laser tag too. I'm pretty serious about this. As in completely serious. If you touch my junk with anything but your own I will BF you in the M. Nerds/gays need not apply. I'M NOT GAY.

P.S. - And I've gotten with hot chicks as recently as just now.

"They told him don't you ever come around here
Don't wanna see your face, you better disappear
The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear
So beat it, just beat it"


    Location: Philly
    it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



courtesy bestofbestofcraigslist.com   :lulz:

Juana

#7
February 04, 2012, 04:09:14 AM
:lulz: What the hell?
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#8
February 04, 2012, 04:11:20 AM
People ask me why I read Craigslist postings.

:lol:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Freeky

#9
February 04, 2012, 09:59:37 AM
QuoteSeeking Eunuch

Posted: November 29th, 2009 | No Comments »

This post is a reprint of a post that originally appeared at Best of Craigslist.

I have been in the pornographic films industry for several years and I'm so sick and tired of dicks I can hardly stand it! If you have no genitals or are willing to have them removed then you may be the man for me.

I do not like and absolutely refuse to take part in any of the following:
blowjobs
rimjobs
footjobs
buttjobs
vaginajobs
dirty sanchez
blumpkins
strawberry shortcake
flaming dragon
Houdini
donkey punch
cincinati bowtie
gasmask
hot lunch
golden showers
cleaveland steamer
the Paul Rubins
gramma sophie's curtains
the Pittsburg landfill
I'm a mac and I'm a pc
how to lose a guy in ten gays
or any other sexual act of any kind.

If this sounds like your idea of a good time then get in touch.

serious inquiries only. No weirdos please.


:lol: + :(

Triple Zero

#10
February 04, 2012, 10:30:38 AM
The model train guy is actually a really sad story. He just wants someone to play trains with him. But he knows the CraigsList people won't come if there's no jacking off involved. So he figures well if that's what it takes ... and as an extra incentive I'll throw in some imitation crab meat, yeah.
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

East Coast Hustle

#11
February 04, 2012, 01:11:00 PM
Pretty sure all the "I'm not gay, I just want to jack off with you" ads are written by the same epic troll (you can find them in almost every major city and they're all stylistically very similar) but that doesn't make it any less funny.

I just hope that someday he posts a compilation of responses.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#12
February 05, 2012, 03:52:49 PM
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Luna

#13
February 05, 2012, 11:04:44 PM
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Wolfgang Absolutus

#14
February 06, 2012, 11:19:46 PM
I don't even. People are so strange on the internet. The world would be different, if people were just as strange in real life.
Thinking and Breathing are my main occupations.
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