Dating and Sex for Bipeds

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Also, if your partner won't let you hang out with friends of the opposite or same sex, as applicable, unaccompanied, run.

If most of your friends and family don't like your new partner, there's a reason and you should think about things.

Anything remotely resembling "won't let", RUN LIKE A SCALDED CAT.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Also, if your partner won't let you hang out with friends of the opposite or same sex, as applicable, unaccompanied, run.

If most of your friends and family don't like your new partner, there's a reason and you should think about things.

Anything remotely resembling "won't let", RUN LIKE A SCALDED CAT.

Unless it's "won't let you control them", "won't let you steamroller them", etc.

[The Johnny]

Also, if your partner won't let you hang out with friends of the opposite or same sex, as applicable, unaccompanied, run.

If most of your friends and family don't like your new partner, there's a reason and you should think about things.

Anything remotely resembling "won't let", RUN LIKE A SCALDED CAT.

Unless it's "won't let you control them", "won't let you steamroller them", etc.

That's when you run after them, not from them. 

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Also, if your partner won't let you hang out with friends of the opposite or same sex, as applicable, unaccompanied, run.

If most of your friends and family don't like your new partner, there's a reason and you should think about things.

Anything remotely resembling "won't let", RUN LIKE A SCALDED CAT.

Unless it's "won't let you control them", "won't let you steamroller them", etc.

Well yeah, that's different. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Also, if your partner won't let you hang out with friends of the opposite or same sex, as applicable, unaccompanied, run.

If most of your friends and family don't like your new partner, there's a reason and you should think about things.

Anything remotely resembling "won't let", RUN LIKE A SCALDED CAT.

Unless it's "won't let you control them", "won't let you steamroller them", etc.

That's when you run after them, not from them. 

Yeah, it is if you're me. 

[P3nT4gR4m]

One I learned in restrospect: If you can't be in the company of your buddies and your new squeeze without constantly gritting your teeth and hoping like fuck she doesn't start some dumb argument that requires you to take a side - club her to death, leave her in a ditch and go find a replacement. 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

One I learned in restrospect: If you can't be in the company of your buddies and your new squeeze without constantly gritting your teeth and hoping like fuck she doesn't start some dumb argument that requires you to take a side - club her to death, leave her in a ditch and go find a replacement. 

"Ex-Boyfriends - you, especially, Roger - should be tied in a sack full of cats, and thrown in the ocean."
- Dawn, the second girl I ever dated, 26 years after the fact.

[Placid Dingo]

Take chances asking for what you want, be it a kiss or a dance or a climb up a tree.

Thats never worked out badly for me. I've either found the other person keen our been politely refused with minimum embarrassment.

[Lenin McCarthy]

I'm at an early stage in this entire thing, just barely approaching the Dating and Sex parts of it all, so maybe this is just vaguely related to the thread topic.
Generally (without specifying sexual or romantic or emotional interest), I've noticed that I tend to "weird out" girls with long silences and apparent lack of interest (yes, it's ridiculous that I behave differently around males and females, and it makes me feel a bit guilty about succumbing to traditional perceptions of gender). I think I'm showing interest, but it turns out it's not that visible from outside my mind. They're not completely weirded out, just so that we at best end up as friendly acquaintances. If I wasn't so inhibited by my anxiety, that could have developed into relations that would better satisfy my need for intimacy. At least I'm growing up, and gradually making progress at handling situations like that in a better way.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I'm at an early stage in this entire thing, just barely approaching the Dating and Sex parts of it all, so maybe this is just vaguely related to the thread topic.
Generally (without specifying sexual or romantic or emotional interest), I've noticed that I tend to "weird out" girls with long silences and apparent lack of interest (yes, it's ridiculous that I behave differently around males and females, and it makes me feel a bit guilty about succumbing to traditional perceptions of gender). I think I'm showing interest, but it turns out it's not that visible from outside my mind. They're not completely weirded out, just so that we at best end up as friendly acquaintances. If I wasn't so inhibited by my anxiety, that could have developed into relations that would better satisfy my need for intimacy. At least I'm growing up, and gradually making progress at handling situations like that in a better way.

Social skills are a learned behavior.  There is no substitute for practice.

Note that by "social skills" I mean "conversation", not "PUA tricks".

[Salty]

Don't fucking invite yourself. Jesus Mokeyass Christ.

Invite them, or wait for them to invite you, but don't be the asshole that says:

"Hey nice to meet you, what are you doing?"
"Oh I think I might go for a walk."
"Oh that sounds great, I'd love to go for a walk!"

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Don't fucking invite yourself. Jesus Mokeyass Christ.

Invite them, or wait for them to invite you, but don't be the asshole that says:

"Hey nice to meet you, what are you doing?"
"Oh I think I might go for a walk."
"Oh that sounds great, I'd love to go for a walk!"

Sweet assfucking Messiah, yes.

[Chaser]

1. Don't ninja-kiss.



Ninja-kissing is any kind of move that gets your lips to her lips unexpectedly, before she has a chance to intercept or deflect. A classic is the lean-in-close, "What's that perfume you're wearing?" and then BAM. This may be charming at some point AFTER the first kiss, but is completely unacceptable for the first kiss. For the first kiss, you want there to be an unmistakable connection and mutual interest; you should be facing each other and she should be leaning toward you, making lots of eye contact.

I've done this. And on the first kiss. And it worked.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

1. Don't ninja-kiss.



Ninja-kissing is any kind of move that gets your lips to her lips unexpectedly, before she has a chance to intercept or deflect. A classic is the lean-in-close, "What's that perfume you're wearing?" and then BAM. This may be charming at some point AFTER the first kiss, but is completely unacceptable for the first kiss. For the first kiss, you want there to be an unmistakable connection and mutual interest; you should be facing each other and she should be leaning toward you, making lots of eye contact.

I've done this. And on the first kiss. And it worked.

If it "worked" as in, she was into it and liked you and went out with you again, it's because she ALREADY liked you and would have kissed you anyway. In other words, you lucked out, because if she had been on the fence or not into you, you would then have been "that douche" and she wouldn't have gone out with you again.

It's a douche move. If she really likes you, you won't have to trick her into kissing you, and if she doesn't, tricking her will definitely not make her like you and if she's on the fence about going out with you again it will probably push her off it. Onto the other side.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

1. Don't ninja-kiss.



Ninja-kissing is any kind of move that gets your lips to her lips unexpectedly, before she has a chance to intercept or deflect. A classic is the lean-in-close, "What's that perfume you're wearing?" and then BAM. This may be charming at some point AFTER the first kiss, but is completely unacceptable for the first kiss. For the first kiss, you want there to be an unmistakable connection and mutual interest; you should be facing each other and she should be leaning toward you, making lots of eye contact.

I've done this. And on the first kiss. And it worked.

If it "worked" as in, she was into it and liked you and went out with you again, it's because she ALREADY liked you and would have kissed you anyway. In other words, you lucked out, because if she had been on the fence or not into you, you would then have been "that douche" and she wouldn't have gone out with you again.

It's a douche move. If she really likes you, you won't have to trick her into kissing you, and if she doesn't, tricking her will definitely not make her like you and if she's on the fence about going out with you again it will probably push her off it. Onto the other side.

Yep.

And with the nice guys, there's a subtext of "Are you ok with this? I don't wanna do this if you're not ok with it."

She was probably ok with it for a good while before you did it and wondering what took you so long. She was probably spewing nonverbal cues ALL OVER THE PLACE that she was ok with it.