It is officially summer in Tucson

[Doktor Howl]

It's gone over 100F near the mountains.  Summer is here, and The City is coming to life.  The Dirty Boys on Grant road have fired up their motorcycles and ridden out, a roaring geriatric menace to all that is Right and Good.  The hipsters have retreated to the coffee houses and wine bars.  The junkies dance their herky-jerk jigs in the alleys, screaming out their joy of life.

And me?  I must do what I must.  I must walk the streets of Tucson, strung out on benzos and bourbon, picking fights on Drachmann and talking politics with the freaks in the legal district.

There was just such a freak out last night, snorting cocaine (I assume) off the back of his hand, and we got talking some pretty heavy city politics.  He was laughing about doing cocaine right out in the open.  "The cops?  Man, the cops don't even exist in this city, anymore.  Look at the graffiti, it's everywhere.  There ARE cops, right, but there's a lot LESS cops, and they're all to busy trying to keep a lid on the South end.  Mayor Rothschild is a joke, man...It's not like he doesn't know what time it is, he doesn't even know what month it is.  His cuts gutted the force, and now that everything is falling apart, he's trying to 'study efficiency', which means his answer is to cut the police more."

"Why the hell would he do THAT?", I asked, "He's pretty much ensuring that he's going to be out of a job, come election time."

"Because he has no intention of being reelected.  Word is, he's trying to castrate the cops so the city can hire a private force.  Then he leaves office, probably gets a spot on their board or something."

"For real?"

"Dunno.  I just heard this stuff.  It's nothing official."

Hideous.  Tucson may be the first major city in America with "pay cops".  Two laws...One for the poor, and none for the rich.  Two kinds of justice; one for the rich, and none at all for the poor.

The freak interrupted my thinking.  "Hey, man, you got any coke?"

"Naw, not my speed.  I'm a bourbon man."

"Well, that sucks.  I have to go on shift in an hour, and I'm dragging ass."

"What do you do?"

"I'm a vice detective."

I couldn't stop laughing, all the way back to my car.

Okay for now,
Dok

 

[LMNO]

I'm not sure I could handle that much FOREVER in one city.

[Doktor Howl]

I'm not sure I could handle that much FOREVER in one city.

I am convinced that I am in the afterlife.  Nothing this broken could possibly work in the real world.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

OH  HOLY SHIT. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

America is all done pretending, isn't it?

[Doktor Howl]

America is all done pretending, isn't it?

I can't say.  They're still putting on a pretty good front in Greenville, SC, judging from my recent trip.  Everyone smiles, even when I walked through Smoke on the Water, a restaurant that serves the best BBQ pork I've ever tasted, but ALSO had a 45-ish hipster White guy trying to do Muddy Waters on a banjo.  What I failed to mention, what makes this strange, is that I was "crop dusting" every table I passed, a result of rotten guts from mistakenly eating some beef earlier in the day.

It was horrendous, even by my standards.  I could see the revulsion in their eyes...But they smiled, and did nothing; merely ignored the industrial noises and awful stench emanating from my arse.

Fuck with Muddy Waters, will you?  That cannot go unanswered.

There is a certain freedom in visiting a city you will never, ever again visit.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

America is all done pretending, isn't it?

I can't say.  They're still putting on a pretty good front in Greenville, SC, judging from my recent trip.  Everyone smiles, even when I walked through Smoke on the Water, a restaurant that serves the best BBQ pork I've ever tasted, but ALSO had a 45-ish hipster White guy trying to do Muddy Waters on a banjo.  What I failed to mention, what makes this strange, is that I was "crop dusting" every table I passed, a result of rotten guts from mistakenly eating some beef earlier in the day.

It was horrendous, even by my standards.  I could see the revulsion in their eyes...But they smiled, and did nothing; merely ignored the industrial noises and awful stench emanating from my arse.

Fuck with Muddy Waters, will you?  That cannot go unanswered.

There is a certain freedom in visiting a city you will never, ever again visit.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

America is all done pretending, isn't it?

America is all done giving a fuck, I think. It sits in a wheelchair, poops, drools and screams random obscenities every now and then.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

America is all done pretending, isn't it?

America is all done giving a fuck, I think. It sits in a wheelchair, poops, drools and screams random obscenities every now and then.

Thanks to the other thread, all I can think of when I look at that picture is

                   Eat my pussy
                               /

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Now I feel like a bad person.

[Doktor Howl]

I can't see it, so whether or not you are a bad person remains in question.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

[P3nT4gR4m]

Now I feel like a bad person.

You are a bad person but look on the bright side. I'll get some sleep tonight knowing it wasn't just me. So, thanks for that 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Now I feel like a bad person.

You are a bad person but look on the bright side. I'll get some sleep tonight knowing it wasn't just me. So, thanks for that 

Glad I could be of service.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Oddly, it was my first thought as well. I blame the geriatric porno poem thread.