Open Bar: We're going to build a bar, and make the drinks pay for it!

[Suu]

I am now trolling the piss out of some crazy bitch in Florida who is terrified of chemicals by telling her about the occurrence of dodecarbonate in all oils, and how lauric acid dodecarbonate, which is a prime component of coconut oil, is also present in cheap shampoo and has been infecting her cells since conception.

Fucking oil pullers, telling me I don't know chemistry, when CARBON 12 IS PRESENT IN EVERYTHING.

What's an oil puller there?
Are you sure you have those systematic names right? I see wikipedia says lauric acid = dodecanoic acid. Carbon-12 is also the most abundant isotope of carbon, though, so I can't really be sure what you're saying here.

Short version: She's a crunchy anti-vaxxer that uses coconut oil as a mouthwash because it heals cavities and doesn't have chemicals. Yes, cavity healing. It's a thing. I have no idea HOW.

Everything is made of chemicals. So when I dropped a bunch of useless, incorrect jargon on her, she freaked out. Apparently the idea of oil being full of Carbon-12 scared the shit out of her. I also told her that it's so abundant, that it's in us from the moment of conception. This is the level of ignorance the Food Babe breeds.

[Suu]

Had a coworker argue with me to the end of the Earth, today, that programming, web development/design, and other obviously IT fields "aren't IT jobs" because they aren't in networking/communications. He had somehow come to the conclusion that his 2 years of college trumped the dictionary definition of the word.

I advised him that one didn't need a college education to read the dictionary. When he pulled up the definition in the dictionary, he decided to backpedal a little bit, dig his heels in, and attack straw man arguments that I never made. Of course, the definition proved me to be right. And on pointing that out, he began to screech, and accuse me of disrespecting him as a programmer.

He told me that it was offensive to tell programmers that their work was copied. How he got that out of "Programmers use systems that are already in place, like operating systems and programs, to create and develop more programs and systems, defining them as IT specialists," I have no idea. But it grabbed the attention of the nearest megalomaniac douchebag, who created a semantics argument so vague and confusing, that I simply had to put on my headphones and ignore them.

Am I just a lazy fuckwit who's been living under a rock all this time? Or is programming a fucking IT job?

I have no idea.  Try calling him a "script-kiddie" next time and see how he reacts.  Perhaps that's the designation he's resisting?

He's just a pedantic, special snowflake little bitch. He wanted to seem cool by claiming his field wasn't an IT job, "contrary to popular belief."

The thing is, he's not a script kiddie, and otherwise, he's very intelligent. His ego just blinds him sometimes, and it makes him insufferable.

it only matters if IT jobs are treated differently than non IT jobs in some way, and if so which of those ways programmers should be treated.  Otherwise it is a completely meaningless distinction.

Also, most of a programmers work is copied, if she is any good at her job, but knowing where to find what she needs to copy is a big part of why she is good at it.

I agree, it would be a useless distinction, if there was one. And yes, programmers do use libraries and modules created by others, and even chunks of code if they're feeling lazy or don't want to reinvent the wheel. The funny thing is, he's told me that before, using almost the same words you did.

He'll just say anything he needs to if he feels like his intelligence is being questioned. It probably didn't help that when I laughed in his face at what he said. That's not very cool 

Sounds like he thinks having an associates degree in programming makes him feel "above" an IT job, even though he has an IT job. How old is he? 22?

Just start calling him an IT Programmer, and just wait for the magic smoke to come out.

[LMNO]

Call him a bargain-basement circuit-jockey.

[Suu]

Call him a bargain-basement circuit-jockey.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

So.

A week or so, my boss tells me I'm off probation, with the official letter due today.  Last Thursday, he demands - based on one janitor's (Debra) griping - that I fire the lady I just hired out of the kitchen (Tonya).  There's old HR stuff there, and so he wants me to fire her so he isn't The Guy in a labor board/legal issue.  Roger didn't fall off the turnip truck yesterday and I don't find myself inclined to fire a single mother of three because Debra had a feud with Tonya's mother (who died YEARS ago), so I decline to fire her.  (There are no grounds to fire her except that her change of jobs restarted her probationary period, even though she's been there for 7 years, and you can fire someone on probation for any reason or no reason at all.)

So today, my paperwork says my probation is being extended until October 31st.  which just happens to be the last day of the fiscal year.  Nobody before has had their probation extended (they have either been let go or taken off of probation), and in my 20 years of doing this kind of work, I have never seen any one survive an extended probation.

Results:
1.  My career is toast.  May as well just accept it.
2.  Because of that, the promotion I was arranging for Debra based on her seniority isn't going to happen, because I now very tragically lack the juice to make it happen.
3.  There will be butthurt about that, and about a whole lot more.
4.  Looking for a new job, while I still have this one (which all depends on how long it takes for the boss to "suggest" getting rid of Tonya again, whereupon I will refuse and then my probation will end as I am found to be unsuitable for the job anyway.)

This all sucks, because I love the place, but I can't work for a weasel.

[Don Coyote]

What kind of fuckery is this?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

What kind of fuckery is this?

Academia.

which I do not recommend.

On the other hand, on Thursday there will be a gigantic radioactive pile of fuckery, and I shall be squatting on top of it.

[Eater of Clowns]

What kind of fuckery is this?

Academia.

which I do not recommend.

On the other hand, on Thursday there will be a gigantic radioactive pile of fuckery, and I shall be squatting on top of it.

Shit Roger. Sorry man.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

What kind of fuckery is this?

Academia.

which I do not recommend.

On the other hand, on Thursday there will be a gigantic radioactive pile of fuckery, and I shall be squatting on top of it.

Shit Roger. Sorry man.

Thanks.

what pisses me off the most is that this guy thought I was his errand boy.

Also, given this extension, he will approach me within 2 weeks with the intent to get me to fire her.  which I won't do. 

Even if I did, I would be immediately let go.  So either way, if one of us goes, the other is instantly fucked.

[POFP]

Sounds like he thinks having an associates degree in programming makes him feel "above" an IT job, even though he has an IT job. How old is he? 22?

Just start calling him an IT Programmer, and just wait for the magic smoke to come out.

Just about that age. Slightly older, maybe. Just a few years older than I am.

I would be insufferable to him if I didn't depend on his experience and information, at times. We are a team, all working in the same cubicle. And that means we have to get along and be able to work together, to an extent. We have our disagreements. But, for now, it's best to just vent on here when he pulls this shit.

Call him a bargain-basement circuit-jockey.

OMG, the moment I pass him on the ladder, that's going to be his new contact name in all of my chat programs at work. And HOLY SHIT is management gonna love that name.

The supervisors hate this guy so much, due to his constant whining, that they had to move him to a new supervisor.

They tried to say it was because of a staffing numbers thing. Even he wasn't stoopid enough to believe that 

So.

A week or so, my boss tells me I'm off probation, with the official letter due today.  Last Thursday, he demands - based on one janitor's (Debra) griping - that I fire the lady I just hired out of the kitchen (Tonya).  There's old HR stuff there, and so he wants me to fire her so he isn't The Guy in a labor board/legal issue.  Roger didn't fall off the turnip truck yesterday and I don't find myself inclined to fire a single mother of three because Debra had a feud with Tonya's mother (who died YEARS ago), so I decline to fire her.  (There are no grounds to fire her except that her change of jobs restarted her probationary period, even though she's been there for 7 years, and you can fire someone on probation for any reason or no reason at all.)

So today, my paperwork says my probation is being extended until October 31st.  which just happens to be the last day of the fiscal year.  Nobody before has had their probation extended (they have either been let go or taken off of probation), and in my 20 years of doing this kind of work, I have never seen any one survive an extended probation.

Results:
1.  My career is toast.  May as well just accept it.
2.  Because of that, the promotion I was arranging for Debra based on her seniority isn't going to happen, because I now very tragically lack the juice to make it happen.
3.  There will be butthurt about that, and about a whole lot more.
4.  Looking for a new job, while I still have this one (which all depends on how long it takes for the boss to "suggest" getting rid of Tonya again, whereupon I will refuse and then my probation will end as I am found to be unsuitable for the job anyway.)

This all sucks, because I love the place, but I can't work for a weasel.

That is 100% fucked, Roger. I am very sorry to hear that. What a spineless piece of shit, that man. Knows he has no justification for the action, so he puts it onto someone else. That is fucking horseshit.

[Junkenstein]

What kind of fuckery is this?

Academia.

which I do not recommend.

On the other hand, on Thursday there will be a gigantic radioactive pile of fuckery, and I shall be squatting on top of it.

Shit Roger. Sorry man.

Thanks.

what pisses me off the most is that this guy thought I was his errand boy.

Also, given this extension, he will approach me within 2 weeks with the intent to get me to fire her.  which I won't do. 

Even if I did, I would be immediately let go.  So either way, if one of us goes, the other is instantly fucked.

This is a heap of bullshit. I can't say I disagree with your assessment of the probationary shit either, I've seen that crap pulled in a few places and the results are predictable and inevitable.

So, what blackmail do you currently have on this toad and what can you arrange? I think we've just found sloppy bob at a minimum. 

[LMNO]

Roger, I sorry to hear that shit-throwing monkeys are (once again) getting in the way of Good Things.

On the other hand, I am always impressed by the strength of your principles and convictions.

Good luck.

[Cain]

Come work with me, Roger.

We have an opening on the day shift.

[East Coast Hustle]

38 years old and I finally got a Big Boy Job.

Start training tomorrow. Real money, great benefits, no management responsibilities required to obtain said money and benefits. Still get to play with food for a living (good, real food no less) but I'll be goddamned if I ever subject myself to the restaurant industry again in this life or any other. There's a serious rant brewing about that, and when it forms cohesive paragraphs it'll probably ruin going out to eat for the rest of you, if you have any sort of moral compass at all.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Come work with me, Roger.

We have an opening on the day shift.

will there be wrath and horror and people running around asking why we DO such things?