LMNO, you've been outdone.

[Cain]

Draco as a sex-bomb is such a common theme there is even a trope named after it.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DracoInLeatherPants

[Kai]

This whole thread =  and 

[Cain]

Also, extracts of "Snape on the Astral Plain" found by Fandom Wank: http://www.journalfen.net/community/fandom_wank/1015949.html

My Personal Unbreakable Vow to Severus...
My Unbreakable Vow to Severus Snape

I promise to be always faithful in body and mind, and never love another man.
I promise to love and cherish you all of my life.
I promise to respect and honour you all of my life.
I promise to dedicate all of my life to you.
I promise to stand by you in good times and bad times.
I promise to protect and guard you, and to prevent you from any harm.
I promise to provide anything you need for you.
I promise to take the best care of you.
I promise to use your name with the respect it deserves.
I promise to always wear the ring with your name in it, as a symbol of my love.
I promise to obey you, no matter what.
I promise to respect your wishes and not to be selfish.
I promise to look after you in sickness and in health.

I solemnly promise all of this to you, Severus Snape, my only love.
May these words create a strong loving bond, which can only be broken by death.
If I break the promises made, or treat you not in the manner I should be, I'll make sure I'll die.
May all the good forces and spirits bless our love eternally....
So it will be done...

Lady Darkness

Just one sample

[Jasper]

Nnnnng. 


Hrrrnng. 


Aarrrrgh.

[Tempest Virago]

Also, extracts of "Snape on the Astral Plain" found by Fandom Wank: http://www.journalfen.net/community/fandom_wank/1015949.html

My Personal Unbreakable Vow to Severus...
My Unbreakable Vow to Severus Snape

I promise to be always faithful in body and mind, and never love another man.
I promise to love and cherish you all of my life.
I promise to respect and honour you all of my life.
I promise to dedicate all of my life to you.
I promise to stand by you in good times and bad times.
I promise to protect and guard you, and to prevent you from any harm.
I promise to provide anything you need for you.
I promise to take the best care of you.
I promise to use your name with the respect it deserves.
I promise to always wear the ring with your name in it, as a symbol of my love.
I promise to obey you, no matter what.
I promise to respect your wishes and not to be selfish.
I promise to look after you in sickness and in health.

I solemnly promise all of this to you, Severus Snape, my only love.
May these words create a strong loving bond, which can only be broken by death.
If I break the promises made, or treat you not in the manner I should be, I'll make sure I'll die.
May all the good forces and spirits bless our love eternally....
So it will be done...

Lady Darkness

Just one sample

That just makes me feel sorry for them. They're clearly severely mentally ill.

[Cain]

I tip my hat to Idem for finding this

http://choppertheninja.deviantart.com/art/MARKED-Red-Hair-116621600

[Cain]

Pokemon slashfic.  From a Yiffing site:

http://yiffstar.com/?pid=55235

Without any further talk, Tommy rolled with Tango so they were both on their sides, and Tommy drew his lips up close to Tango's in pursuit of another kiss. She was glad to oblige and make quick work of poking her tongue around into his mouth again. She loved the completely foreign taste of his mouth.

It felt like they could keep this up for hours. In all actuality, they probably could. There wasn't really much else for them to do there, and they really missed each other's company. Really missed. Not to mention they really enjoyed it, especially now, in a way they never enjoyed it before.

The feeling of their passionate kissing luster was starting to affect Tommy in a rather dictating place. His penis started to stiffen up. Not that Tommy could notice it right now, even though it sure wanted him to.

Tango had started soaking the fur of her lower region a bit ago. It had now become quite moist and in need of attention. It was a good feeling, one that she had been accustomed to through frequent practice of masturbation. She had become a master of self-pleasure in her mind. Because of this, she knew exactly what was really going on here and just how eager she was to tend to her needs. She was practically shuddering from the thought of it and the feel of just how horny she was now.

There is 12 chapters of this shit, I'd like to point out.

[LMNO]

First of all, FUCK YOU FOR FINDING THAT! 



Secondly, what the hell were you doing at a yiffing site?

[Cain]

I was actually linked to it.  The precise words were:

"This is the ultimate destruction of the mind. It is a Pokemon fanfic, extremely NSFW. I don't want to ramble on, but...this is just...if you can read this all the way through, you are an elite member of the internet, and an elite troper. Nothing else linked to by this page even comes CLOSE to this. No, not even the Superjail! fic. UNBELIEVABLY NSFW. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED."

That said, I do need to troll Yiffstar at some point.

[Cain]

http://www.yuletidetreasure.org/archive/17/slavebear.html

Care Bear's BDSM

[Cramulus]

http://www.yuletidetreasure.org/archive/17/slavebear.html

Care Bear's BDSM

[Cain]

Oh yeah, Stephen Colbert/Hitler slashfic

Stephen's brow furrowed at that and Adolf was afraid he had said something wrong. He quickly searched his brain for another subject he could adequately express in English. He bit his lip and Stephen let out a boyish giggle, reaching hesitantly to push a strand of hair back from the German boy's face.

Adolf took Stephen's wrist lightly in midair, inhaling sharply as he felt the older man's smooth skin. He leaned into Stephen's gaze uncertainly, his lips brushing Stephen's. Adolf ran a hand through the man's dark hair and deepened the kiss, pressing his taut young body up against Stephen's.

Stephen gasped into his mouth and broke free, wrenching his body back away from Adolf. "I—I can't do this," he sputtered breathily. "I'm in love with someone else."

Adolf cast his eyes down, his cheeks burning, and pretended to be interested in the worn sheets he was picking at. "Vith whom?"

http://ch-ch-ch-chad.livejournal.com/41487.html

[LMNO]

 

[Cain]

Stephen Colbert/Harry Potter!

Harry knew he was supposed to be paying attention as Dumbledore went into his usual speech. But what was the use? By now, he knew all of – and had broken most of – the school rules. The only thing that interested him was the perennial question of who would be their Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher this time.

He glanced along the seated row of professors. Snape was there, sallow as ever, his lip curled in a sneer. Hagrid seemed more gigantic than ever next to the diminutive Professor Flitwick. Seeing no new faces, Harry let his gaze stray around the Great Hall. He spotted the pale, blond figure of Draco Malfoy right away, smirking to his Slytherin cronies just like always. Dislike curled through Harry like a snake.

Hermione elbowed him as Dumbledore said, "And now, before we bring in our new crop of first-years, I have one very special introduction to make."

A piercing, screeching cry made everyone look up. The sky of the Great Hall was enchanted to mimic the sky outside, which tonight was a star-spangled brilliance. Above them, from one of the openings that usually admitted the school owls on their daily deliveries of mail, swept a majestic eagle.

Students cried out, alarmed and impressed, as it circled low over them with talons flashing in the light of the many candles. The wind from its mighty wings ruffled their school robes and blew their hats off their heads. Several people ducked. Neville Longbottom fell backwards off his bench and landed flat on the floor.

As the massive, fierce bird passed over the Slytherins, Malfoy's smirk vanished. He squeaked like a girl and dove under the table, cowering there, while Crabbe and Goyle stared up openmouthed and stupid as trolls.

With a final triumphant cry, the eagle veered toward Dumbledore. As it backwinged and came in for a landing, there was a ripple of magic and a flowing change. What touched down beside the Headmaster was no longer an eagle at all.

"An Animagus!" Hermione gasped, dropping her book and not even noticing.

No longer an eagle, but a man ... though still every bit as majestic and impressive. His tall, lean frame was draped in velvet robes that perfectly complemented his unblemished complexion. He smoothed his thick ink-black hair – which had not been disarranged in the slightest – and raised one shrewd eyebrow as his piercing bird-of-prey gaze scanned the room from behind thin wire-rimmed spectacles.

"Allow me to present Professor Colbert," Dumbledore said. "Your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."

http://www.eskimo.com/~vecna/truthiness.html

[LMNO]

Oh, fucking excellent.