Suu's typical rant on how you should properly tip your waitstaff.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I like how you seem to think that the only thing they do is pour coffee, like there's a team of magic elves who come in and take care of everything else.

[Eater of Clowns]

Listen, it's either you're playing Devil's Advocate or you're genuinely confused. The two are mutually exclusive.

WTF is wrong with you, are you stupid? You can't figure out 15% of $1.50? Drop a fucking quarter in and call it good.

Those fuckers at the coffee shop have to be there at 4:30 in the morning, they have to grind and brew the coffee and keep the place clean and be on their feet, MOVE MOVE MOVE, with lines out the door, scalding potential at every turn (and they do get burned, a lot) and oblivious assholes like you who expect to be served in under a minute.

It's the SERVICE FUCKING INDUSTRY. You fucking entitled bourgeois prig.

Seriously, there's a FUCKING TIP JAR there for idiots who can't figure out whether they're supposed to tip. Put a fucking quarter in it.

I like how you seem to think that the only thing they do is pour coffee, like there's a team of magic elves who come in and take care of everything else.

Yikes.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Sorry about that. The rage took over for a second.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

FYI retail clerks often make commission or profit-based bonuses, which is the traditional reason for not tipping them. Service industry outside of retail sales do not normally get commissions and instead rely on tips.

Yes, it is complicated figuring out which is which sometimes, but the basic rule of thumb is, did they give you something that goes into use on the spot, or did you buy a thing to take home? Gas station pump jockeys = service. Tip them. Pants salesman = retail. Do not tip.

You can tip contractors (like your gardener and your plumber), but traditionally instead of "tipping" you give them gifts... might be $500 at Christmas, or it might be a bottle of wine every couple of service calls.

Tip your garbagemen occasionally... twice a year is fine. An envelope with "thank you" taped to the can and a couple of $20's inside is fine. It'll save you money later when they don't charge you for extra bags.

Any questions?

[Eater of Clowns]

FYI retail clerks often make commission or profit-based bonuses, which is the traditional reason for not tipping them. Service industry outside of retail sales do not normally get commissions and instead rely on tips.

Yes, it is complicated figuring out which is which sometimes, but the basic rule of thumb is, did they give you something that goes into use on the spot, or did you buy a thing to take home? Gas station pump jockeys = service. Tip them. Pants salesman = retail. Do not tip.

You can tip contractors (like your gardener and your plumber), but traditionally instead of "tipping" you give them gifts... might be $500 at Christmas, or it might be a bottle of wine every couple of service calls.

Tip your garbagemen occasionally... twice a year is fine. An envelope with "thank you" taped to the can and a couple of $20's inside is fine. It'll save you money later when they don't charge you for extra bags.

Any questions?

Actually yeah.

See, all of this is new.  I mentioned hair cutting earlier confused me because once my parents stopped paying for haircuts, I grew my hair out for years.  By the time I actually got it cut someone mentioned something about tipping and I was like "oh...FUCK" because I'd missed a few times.

I've never had to hire a contractor because I've never owned a home.

I specifically avoid full service stations because I don't see the point in bothering someone to do what I can do in just as much time with just as much effort on my own (not a coffee shop frequenter because I brew my own).  When on a road trip through Jersey, where full service is mandatory, I was incredibly uncomfortable having someone do it for me.

Garbage men, now do you pay them for your curbside pickup, because wherever I've lived it's just been a city service.  If it's a city service do you still tip them?

But yeah the dressing room thing was just for the sake of argument, I know not to tip them.

Edit:  Oh, and the using on the spot thing.  If I'm buying a pound of coffee at a coffee shop, which generally takes more time to get together than the cup I would order, is that a tipable service?  I won't be using it just then.  The same would apply to the bagels and cream cheese that I take home to eat throughout the week.

EoC,
doing this shit to death.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I was always told it was 15% minimum, which I've given on a few occasions of shitty service, but I generally do just over 20%.  I also went a few embarassing years not realizing that I was supposed to be tipping the hair dresser.  Hopefully I haven't been screwing any others out of their pay without knowing it.

The bagel place I go to has a line on the receipt for tips, but isn't it sort've like coffee shops?  Tipping is a nice gesture but they're still paid regular wages on top of it.  I mean they make breakfast sandwiches and stuff here, but if I'm asking for a half dozen bagels and a container of cream cheese I don't usually tip.  It'd be like tipping the butcher or the fishmonger.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

Yeah, it's exactly like coffee shops. Which means they make minimum wage and work hard, and you should tip.

So if I were to walk into a place and ask for a coffee, regular drip coffee, they turn around, pour it into a cup, and hand it to me, I should pay how much extra for that work?  We're talking 30 seconds of work, or in the case of the bagel place up to two minutes.  Do I pay a dollar tip for a $1.50 cup of coffee?  And what if I'm already paying the higher price to go to support a locally owned business?

I'm not arguing that they're paid great or that their job is easy, but at what point does this start getting out of control?  The people in the dressing rooms at stores get about minimum wage, do I tip them for showing me which one to use?

Don't get me wrong.  I'm all for tipping where it's due.  This is my devil's advocate act because I am genuinely confused.

Okay.  At your job, you should be paid less for every hour in which your work is less difficult than average.

[Eater of Clowns]

I was always told it was 15% minimum, which I've given on a few occasions of shitty service, but I generally do just over 20%.  I also went a few embarassing years not realizing that I was supposed to be tipping the hair dresser.  Hopefully I haven't been screwing any others out of their pay without knowing it.

The bagel place I go to has a line on the receipt for tips, but isn't it sort've like coffee shops?  Tipping is a nice gesture but they're still paid regular wages on top of it.  I mean they make breakfast sandwiches and stuff here, but if I'm asking for a half dozen bagels and a container of cream cheese I don't usually tip.  It'd be like tipping the butcher or the fishmonger.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

Yeah, it's exactly like coffee shops. Which means they make minimum wage and work hard, and you should tip.

So if I were to walk into a place and ask for a coffee, regular drip coffee, they turn around, pour it into a cup, and hand it to me, I should pay how much extra for that work?  We're talking 30 seconds of work, or in the case of the bagel place up to two minutes.  Do I pay a dollar tip for a $1.50 cup of coffee?  And what if I'm already paying the higher price to go to support a locally owned business?

I'm not arguing that they're paid great or that their job is easy, but at what point does this start getting out of control?  The people in the dressing rooms at stores get about minimum wage, do I tip them for showing me which one to use?

Don't get me wrong.  I'm all for tipping where it's due.  This is my devil's advocate act because I am genuinely confused.

Okay.  At your job, you should be paid less for every hour in which your work is less difficult than average.

I wonder if my employer takes personal checks.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

FYI retail clerks often make commission or profit-based bonuses, which is the traditional reason for not tipping them. Service industry outside of retail sales do not normally get commissions and instead rely on tips.

Yes, it is complicated figuring out which is which sometimes, but the basic rule of thumb is, did they give you something that goes into use on the spot, or did you buy a thing to take home? Gas station pump jockeys = service. Tip them. Pants salesman = retail. Do not tip.

You can tip contractors (like your gardener and your plumber), but traditionally instead of "tipping" you give them gifts... might be $500 at Christmas, or it might be a bottle of wine every couple of service calls.

Tip your garbagemen occasionally... twice a year is fine. An envelope with "thank you" taped to the can and a couple of $20's inside is fine. It'll save you money later when they don't charge you for extra bags.

Any questions?

Actually yeah.

See, all of this is new.  I mentioned hair cutting earlier confused me because once my parents stopped paying for haircuts, I grew my hair out for years.  By the time I actually got it cut someone mentioned something about tipping and I was like "oh...FUCK" because I'd missed a few times.

I've never had to hire a contractor because I've never owned a home.

I specifically avoid full service stations because I don't see the point in bothering someone to do what I can do in just as much time with just as much effort on my own (not a coffee shop frequenter because I brew my own).  When on a road trip through Jersey, where full service is mandatory, I was incredibly uncomfortable having someone do it for me.

Garbage men, now do you pay them for your curbside pickup, because wherever I've lived it's just been a city service.  If it's a city service do you still tip them?

But yeah the dressing room thing was just for the sake of argument, I know not to tip them.

Edit:  Oh, and the using on the spot thing.  If I'm buying a pound of coffee at a coffee shop, which generally takes more time to get together than the cup I would order, is that a tipable service?  I won't be using it just then.  The same would apply to the bagels and cream cheese that I take home to eat throughout the week.

EoC,
doing this shit to death.

You're an asshole.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I like how you seem to think that the only thing they do is pour coffee, like there's a team of magic elves who come in and take care of everything else.

Yeah, the floor and counters just clean themselves.  The bathrooms, too.

[Eater of Clowns]

You're an asshole.

And attacking my character for not liking the way I phrased a purely innocent response is a dick move.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

You're an asshole.

And attacking my character for not liking the way I phrased a purely innocent response is a dick move.

Yes, yes it is.  But the "character" you were displaying was an easy target.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Garbage men, now do you pay them for your curbside pickup, because wherever I've lived it's just been a city service.  If it's a city service do you still tip them?

Yes. The city contracts with them to provide a service. You don't "tip" per se, you give them small occasional gifts of cash.

Edit:  Oh, and the using on the spot thing.  If I'm buying a pound of coffee at a coffee shop, which generally takes more time to get together than the cup I would order, is that a tipable service?  

No. Unless they grind it for you. That's a service.

The same would apply to the bagels and cream cheese that I take home to eat throughout the week.

Don't tip for those unless they put the cream cheese on FOR you or carry them out to your car. It's groceries.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

VERY basic rule of thumb; you tip for service, not for goods received. You tip for being served. The merchandise merely dictates the size of the tip. There are exceptions, and part of being an adult is learning them. For instance, you would not tip your hotel maid 20% of your room price because that would be cost prohibitive... say you stay in a room 4 nights, at $200/night. You're totally not expected to tip your maid $160. In fact, $20 is fine. Your total tips to the hotel staff, over four days, including the valet and the porter, should be about 20% though.

These are things you might never need to know, but it is still your responsibility to learn them, just in case. So you're not an ASSHOLE if you find yourself honeymooning at the Empress.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

BTW, the city service; actually, the city usually contracts with private garbage haulers, and the property owner pays the bill. If you have never owned property there is no reason for you to already know that, though. Your city may vary.

[Eater of Clowns]

Garbage men, now do you pay them for your curbside pickup, because wherever I've lived it's just been a city service.  If it's a city service do you still tip them?

Yes. The city contracts with them to provide a service. You don't "tip" per se, you give them small occasional gifts of cash.

Edit:  Oh, and the using on the spot thing.  If I'm buying a pound of coffee at a coffee shop, which generally takes more time to get together than the cup I would order, is that a tipable service?  

No. Unless they grind it for you. That's a service.

The same would apply to the bagels and cream cheese that I take home to eat throughout the week.

Don't tip for those unless they put the cream cheese on FOR you or carry them out to your car. It's groceries.

Ah, that's what I was trying to figure out, thank you.  I guess equating that to getting a cup of coffee wasn't entirely accurate.

The garbage men and contractor ones are news to me, so I'll tuck them away for potential future home ownership.

The room service I did manage to learn at a young age.  That's usually in the welcome pamphlets they have lying in the room.