Why would anyone write this cookbook?

[LMNO]

I just got a PDF from my aunt... It claims to show you how to make "brand name" dishes at home.

What do I mean by "brand name"?
It shows you how to make food as prepared by:

Applebees
Benihana
Bennagins
Burger King
California Pizza Kitchen
Cheesecake Factory
Chi Chis
Chilis
Dennys
Dominos
Jack-In-The-Box
KFC
Long John Silvers
McDonalds
Olive Garden
Outback
PF Changs
Pizza Hut
Pizzaria Uno
Popeyes
Red Lobster
Sbarro
Shoneys
Sizzler
TGI Fridays
Taco Bell
Wendys
White Castle


Just to name a few.  This is a joke, right?

[Cain]

Fuck yeah, instead of my normal 100% beef, real cheese, fresh lettuce, home-grown tomatoes, beetroot and grilled onion homemade burger, Imma gonna have me a Big Whopper

[LMNO]

Do we have an "AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!" emote?

[AFK]

It probably isn't the stupidest idea ever, but it offers some stiff competition. 

[Freeky]

I can see why this sort of thing woulld exist. Let's take a middle-aged, friendless couple who are completely inept at cooking. Their favorite thing to do is to go out to eat. However, it's their money situation is far too tight to go out at the moment, so they get this to pretend like they've gone out to their favorite restaurant.

BTW, can I get a link to that? I know some people who might enjoy it.

[Cainad (dec.)]

Do we have an "AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!" emote?

The three most likely candidates: 

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWW!!!!!


just my opinion

[Jasper]

I think it exists because people will buy it.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Whoa, whoa, whoa—let's not be rash.

While the Volcano Burrito is not spicy at all it still manages to live up to its name.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

Whoa, whoa, whoa—let's not be rash.

While the Volcano Burrito is not spicy at all it still manages to live up to its name.

[Richter]

I just got a PDF from my aunt... It claims to show you how to make "brand name" dishes at home.

What do I mean by "brand name"?
It shows you how to make food as prepared by:

Applebees
Benihana
Bennagins
Burger King
California Pizza Kitchen
Cheesecake Factory
Chi Chis
Chilis
Dennys
Dominos
Jack-In-The-Box
KFC
Long John Silvers
McDonalds
Olive Garden
Outback
PF Changs
Pizza Hut
Pizzaria Uno
Popeyes
Red Lobster
Sbarro
Shoneys
Sizzler
TGI Fridays
Taco Bell
Wendys
White Castle


Just to name a few.  This is a joke, right?

It can't all have the literary genius of "Cooking with Semen", LMNO.

Practically, I don't think the common citizen has that much access to mechanical seperators, freeze dired veggies, or anonymous frozen white bags from the mother factory.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

I have this cookbook.  I was so grossed out by what I have been eating over the years.  

There were a few things in there that I was glad to have though.  Benihana's Ginger Salad dressing... mmmmm one of my favorites, Benihana's Magic Mustard sauce mmmmmm another good one and absolutely awesome on wings.

It's scary if these are really real recipes because it seriosuly lowers my appreciation of what I may have thought was quite tasty before I knew it was mainly granulated garlic and mayo.

[Cramulus]

If they can tell me how to make TGI Friday's Jack Daniels sauce, this book is worth its weight in TGI Friday's Jack Daniels sauce.

[LMNO]

If they can tell me how to make TGI Friday's Jack Daniels sauce, this book is worth its weight in TGI Friday's Jack Daniels sauce.

Ask, and...

T.G.I. Friday's Jack Daniels Grill Glaze

1 head of garlic
1 tablespoon olive oil
2/3 cup water
1 cup pineapple juice
1/4 cup teriyaki sauce
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 1/3 cups dark brown sugar
3 tablespoons lemon juice
3 tablespoons minced white onion
1 tablespoon Jack Daniels Whiskey
1 tablespoon crushed pineapple
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper

Cut about 1/2−inch off of top of garlic. Cut the roots so that the
garlic will sit flat. Remove the papery skin from the garlic, but
leave enough so that the cloves stay together. Put garlic into a
small casserole dish or baking pan, drizzle olive oil over it, and
cover with a lid or foil. Bake in a preheated 325° oven for 1 hour.
Remove garlic and let it cool until you can handle it.

Combine water, pineapple juice, teriyaki sauce, soy sauce, and
brown sugar in a medium saucepan over medium/high heat.
Stir occasionally until mixture boils then reduce heat until mixture
is just simmering.

Squeeze the sides of the head of garlic until the pasty roasted garlic
is squeezed out. Discard remaining skin and whisk to combine.
Add remaining ingredients to the pan and stir.

Let mixture simmer for 40−50 minutes or until sauce has reduced by
about 1/2 and is thick and syrupy. Make sure it doesn't boil over.

[Cramulus]

OMG I am salivating. I would order that shit as a drink if it were on the menu.