I nominate George W Bush for Discordian Sainthood.

[Cain]

I never got the Happy Meal I was promised.

[Payne]

I just read this entire thread.

I laughed.

I cried.

I left stains on my chair that I don't think will ever come out.

[Mourning Star]

Yup.  I still don't understand what discordianism is all about.  But that's okay,  I said fuck it, and decided to become a scientologist!  They've promised me special powers and what not not.  What did you assholes ever offer me?  Except payne...what he offered...do...not...want!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Can you be a cabbage and a Discordian Saint at the same time?

Many on this forum seem to think so.

What?  There's RULES, now?

It's called the Principia.

You should read it sometime.

All, the original really really real Discordian.

Also to be Discordian one must think for themself,

Then...

You're going to have your star revoked for further heresy, or sent back to discordian sunday school.

EVT is the grand mufti of discordian theology, if you're having trouble grasping it, you can beseach her for knowledge.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I get it now Darling, they don't understand their hypocrisy because they've never  read the damn Principia.

Just wandered in here and started yaking about crap they know nothing about.

And then criticize those that do.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Good god!

Where the hell are Tao Jones and his concubine now?  Maybe they've finally made their own site . . . anyone know the address?

http://kamelopedia.mormo.org/index.php/Deutsches_Diskordisches_Reich

Here ya go.

Quoted for later use.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

It looked to me like they just liked the idea of discordianism as an elitist circle jerk, hence the I AM THE MORE DISCORDIAN THEN YOU shit.

Real and true discordians 
everyone knows that real discordians generally lead solitary lives, except for mothers attending her cubs, or males and females during mating season. True discordians form temporary groups only when food is plentiful in a small area. Alaskan true discordians group in the same area to feed on salmon during the annual salmon runs, when the fish swim upriver to reach their spawning grounds. Other true discordians may live alone but exist in a social network. A male and female may live in an overlapping home range, each defending their range from other true discordians of the same sex. Male young usually leave their mothers to live in other areas, but females often live in an area that overlaps that of their mother.

True discordians travel over large territories in search of food, remembering the details of the landscape they cover. They use their excellent memories to return to locations where food was plentiful in past years or seasons. Most true discordians are able to climb trees to chase prey or gain access to additional vegetation. The only exceptions are polar true discordians and large adult true discordians, whose heavy weight makes it difficult to climb trees.

Some of the larger species, such as the polar discordians and the grizzly discordian, are dangerous to humans, especially in areas where they have become used to people. For the most part, discordians are shy and are easily frightened of humans. They will, however, defend their cubs ferociously if a situation calls for it.

This was pretty great.

[Fuquad]

on the grounds of total absurdity

I think this is the reason it was suggested

Ah the church goer.

Sure you weren't clergy? They can spin that bible by taking out little exerpts too, that take the meaning out of context.

I dont go to churches as I tend to get kicked out of them...and while yes most can spin that bible by takeing out little excerpts i can usually defend what is really there ( and I usually tend to do this instead of complaining that they took it out of context unless I have no other defence)... so you admit that it was absurd but now say that you didn't mean that it was absurd?!?!?

UPDATE:

I have been going to Church again.

The little one likes to go.

Last time she went they gave her a pamphlet about the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. She threw it to the ground on the way home.

I think she just likes the arts and crafts.

And potluck.

[Cainad (dec.)]

I tried to read this thread and only made it to page 6 before I vomited all over my laptop and had to buy a new one so I could post this.

Prince Tao Jones is... I... ergh... there are no words for what I see! So I made an emote just for this occasion.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Can you be a cabbage and a Discordian Saint at the same time?

Many on this forum seem to think so.

What?  There's RULES, now?

It's called the Principia.

You should read it sometime.

Also to be Discordian one must think for themself, there's no way Bush can be considered one who thinks for himself.

You're going to have your star revoked for further heresy, or sent back to discordian sunday school.

EVT is the grand mufti of discordian theology, if you're having trouble grasping it, you can beseach her for knowledge.

I had forgotten how funny this was.  Bolding mine.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

This place was a different kind of weird back in the day. Too bad so many of the links are 404s now

[Vanadium Gryllz]

#MakeDiscordianismGreatAgain 

[Vanadium Gryllz]

I think I have figured out why Discordianism isn't doing so well these days.

Too many syllables to fit into a catchy hashtag.

[MMIX]

#MakeDiscordianismGreatAgain 

Yeah, that's what contemporary Discordianism needs - its very own Donald Trump 

[Junkenstein]

I think we tried that with RWHN and no-one liked the results.