Redemption

[Sita]

I am NOT dismissing triggers, because they demonstrably exist and upset people. And an effort must be taken to ensure that the words used are not meant to stop conversation. But when an excess of empathy overwhelms a desire to speak, then we enter the realm of F5. People afraid to post, at the risk of offence, and devolving into inoffensive fluff and seeing what someone else says.

I can see both sides of this rather a lot.

This is a problem I run into. I have a very hard time judging what is appropriate phrasing on PD so I don't talk a lot because I'm convinced I'm going to say what I'm trying to get out the wrong way and then spend the rest of the day with FUCK YOU, ASSHAT!! and then while I'm at work I'll worry about it and come home to YOU DIDN'T REPLY SO YOU ARE A DOUCHECANOE TIMES TWO!! stuff. So I try not to post unless I've either 1.) got something harmless to say or 2.) have thought about it a fair bit. I delete about five times the posts I actually make.

I consider it part of the learning process, working around my brain issues.

I guess I was trying to say I don't know where the line is for empathy vs suck it up, either, but I got lost.

This is pretty much me as well.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

So I try not to post unless I've either 1.) got something harmless to say or 2.) have thought about it a fair bit. I delete about five times the posts I actually make.

This is the incorrect

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I really like your posts, CPD. I would enjoy seeing more of them.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Same with you, Sita.

[P3nT4gR4m]

So I try not to post unless I've either 1.) got something harmless to say or 2.) have thought about it a fair bit. I delete about five times the posts I actually make.

This is the incorrect

When something pops into my head I tend to just blurt it the hell out and if it's retarded I get told so. Saves me having to work it out for myself which is much more work and nowhere near as reliable as consensus.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

So I try not to post unless I've either 1.) got something harmless to say or 2.) have thought about it a fair bit. I delete about five times the posts I actually make.

This is the incorrect

When something pops into my head I tend to just blurt it the hell out and if it's retarded I get told so. Saves me having to work it out for myself which is much more work and nowhere near as reliable as consensus.

I like your policy.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

So I try not to post unless I've either 1.) got something harmless to say or 2.) have thought about it a fair bit. I delete about five times the posts I actually make.

This is the incorrect

When something pops into my head I tend to just blurt it the hell out and if it's retarded I get told so. Saves me having to work it out for myself which is much more work and nowhere near as reliable as consensus.

I like your policy.

And it's a lot more entertaining than a bunch of people F5ing. 

[Salty]

That is the only way to PD, or anything else IMO.

You just let it all go. No filters. Eventually, and painfully, you will find your way and it will feel fantastic. There's always a chance you might say The Wrong Thing At The Wrong Time, others even a chance you might say something while your head is neatly shoved up your own ass. But you get better at it, and you feel better, and you're better equipped to stop the stupid, your own or other peoples. Preferably your own.

[LMNO]

Um... isn't that what Nav was doing?

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Um... isn't that what Nav was doing?

Yeah, but she dug her heels in.

[Salty]

Um... isn't that what Nav was doing?

Yes, and I am not ignoring her. the consequences of doing that can be ugly, I'm just saying I would personally rather have ugly in my life and learn from it. That's the risk.

Put it this way, no matter what happens here with drama and such I'd rather kick back, drink some beers, and have fun with most of you people as opposed to billions of others because of the propensity for acting just the way Navkat has.

Of course, there's a time to step back and LOOK at what you've said and done to make sure you aren't shitting all over the place, but how do you know until your done? How do you get to anything if you don't try?

Of course, if you DID shit all over the place you may want to, you know, cleaning up.

[Salty]

And anyhow, I don't think there's been a full condemnation of Navkat anywhere.

Nigel said she simply doesn't want to see it and will ignore her if she can't stop herself.

Pixie states that if you start shouting things that hurt people and don't stop when they ask nicely you may not be a very nice person. Generally theres been a feeling of FFS, JUST STFU.

But the harshest words about Navkat have most definitely come from Navkat.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

And anyhow, I don't think there's been a full condemnation of Navkat anywhere.

Nigel said she simply doesn't want to see it and will ignore her if she can't stop herself.

Pixie states that if you start shouting things that hurt people and don't stop when they ask nicely you may not be a very nice person. Generally theres been a feeling of FFS, JUST STFU.

But the harshest words about Navkat have most definitely come from Navkat.

Yeah, pretty much. I'm not super-keen on her attributing things I didn't say to me, but that isn't really my problem. I stated my case, giving what I thought was fair warning about my reaction to something that I and others have talked to her about before. Her response, once she did respond, tells me all I need to know, and that's that.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

So I try not to post unless I've either 1.) got something harmless to say or 2.) have thought about it a fair bit. I delete about five times the posts I actually make.

This is the incorrect

I'll work on it.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

That is the only way to PD, or anything else IMO.

You just let it all go. No filters. Eventually, and painfully, you will find your way and it will feel fantastic. There's always a chance you might say The Wrong Thing At The Wrong Time, others even a chance you might say something while your head is neatly shoved up your own ass. But you get better at it, and you feel better, and you're better equipped to stop the stupid, your own or other peoples. Preferably your own.

At the 'eventually, painfully' and haven't progressed to 'find your way and feel fantastic'. Thanks for the reply. I will keep this in mind.