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Topics - Pope Pelvis Flirtini

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Literate Chaotic / Nope
« on: November 12, 2017, 04:53:45 am »


Fucking REUTERS, ground zero for neutral and objective reporting, is finally starting to sound like The Onion. If the autistic backwater of North Korea were even capable of getting out of its electric wheelchair to throw a punch, we'd be on the brink of nuclear war instigated in the same manner as a bizarre chapter from a Douglas Adams novel, save for the fact that our LEADERS aren't YET talking about each other's mother's.

Despite being creatively innocuous, apparently being called "rocket man" is enough to prompt Kim Jong Il - a grown man who has difficulty locating his sideburns - to shoot back with all of the fury of a SubReddit title. Donald Trump has been called a lot of well-deserved nicknames over the last nine months, but "Dotard" really combines the childishness of the Internet with all of the artistic nuance of a Jackson Pollock.

Finally, my wishes have come true. The headlines of my personal utopia have never been anything short of "Dotard to Rocket Man: U Mad, Bro?"

Apple Talk / I'm in the Middle of a Lifelong Discordiential Crisis
« on: September 09, 2017, 03:01:56 am »
I'm a centrist and a rationalist. I value truth and honesty, measure and reason. In other words, I tend to Spock where others would Kirk. Except when I don't.

I'm passionate and easily frustrated. I get angry when people fall victim to the parlour tricks of the intellectually dishonest.

I am a poor Discordian.

I should delight in people being fooled; in believing nonsense, in being confused. But I don't. I feel like we live in a time of such overwhelming confusion and foolishness that people no longer need our help to be screwed with. The world itself has become chaos. The Information Age exhibits it in abundance.

It used to be different. It used to be that people were victims of government propaganda. Today, we're the victims of our own. Anyone with a cause can make up some bullshit infographic that deceptively appeals to the emotions of a whole swath of idiots and the fucking thing will spread like wildfire on every social media platform in existence. We are no longer the purveyors of chaos, my semi-friends. We are usurped by it.

What place does a Discordian have in this Brave New World? If you ask me, the only person "doing the work" is Ken M.

I'm at a loss.

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / A Nonviolent Protest Against Nonviolence
« on: September 09, 2017, 01:04:35 am »
I want to organize a Discordian protest. I think it would look something like this:


Obviously, I dismiss this poor guy as mentally ill (that's kind of what makes most homeless people homeless), but this clip is fascinating. Your homework is to draft, in any format (synopsis, script segment, chapter excerpt), some or all of an idea for a story based on the content. Start with a simple premise: everything he says is true. He is a police officer. They are killing people.

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Vote! Trial and Error Party
« on: August 27, 2017, 10:18:43 am »
Major political parties want to bounce you back and forth between the same two non-working solutions. "It didn't work the last time we tried it, so we tried the other thing, and now we're going to try the thing that didn't work before that again!" Independent parties either want to try things that failed in other countries or things so crazy that knowing they won't work to begin with seems like the least boring option.

Be bored no more! In the next election cycle, vote for the Trial and Error candidate!

Trial and Error! We're going to try something and if it doesn't work, we'll try something we haven't tried before!

Think nothing of bi-partisanship. In fact, think nothing of partisanship! When is the last time we tried being un-partisan? Never! So let's try that! And if that doesn't work, we'll try ultra partisanship! Just as long as the party in question is Trial and Error!

This message has not been approved or funded since we tried to get both and wound up with neither, so we're trying it out without them.

I liked Big-Top Pee Wee. It was fucked up in all the right ways.

Apple Talk / Welcome Back to Discordia
« on: August 23, 2017, 12:45:22 am »

Congratulations, assholes, you inspired me again.

Original (derailed) thread here:,37961.0.html

Apple Talk / (((Puppet strings))): the thread, the job, the lifestyle
« on: August 15, 2017, 12:30:37 am »
This whole conflict is as scripted and staged as reality television. You guys are backing a fixed horse. It's like rooting for a pro wrestler, or gambling on the Internet.

Literate Chaotic / A Joke
« on: July 03, 2017, 08:29:28 am »
A nihilist, an existentialist, and an absurdist are all having a conversation. The nihilist says, "Life has no meaning." The existentialist says, "Life has no apparent meaning." The absurdist says, "Apparent meaning has no life!"

Discordianism is the appreciation of chaos, not always an excuse to seek it out.

Chaos in the face of overwhelming order, yes. Things, however, are not in order. Struggle for chaos now is not warranted.

In the face of overwhelming chaos, the Discordian has no choice but to be uncharacteristically orderly... but not at all times.

Aneristic Illusions / Generic split from AI/political threads
« on: November 28, 2016, 03:04:58 am »
If you're going to split posts any time someone merely offers an alternative point of view, then you may as well actively delete them.

Apple Talk / Welcome to Discordia
« on: November 23, 2016, 03:59:52 am »

Aneristic Illusions / Split from Offical betting thread
« on: November 22, 2016, 07:29:35 am »

Aneristic Illusions / Welcome to the Hyperbolic Civil War
« on: November 22, 2016, 03:02:07 am »
Cannons were loaded. Lasers were energized. Slingshots were pulled. Paper airplanes scribbled with insults were flung.

Facebook feeds would never be the same. Forty years from now, people will talk about the six-million who perished in the Defriendocaust. We're at the political forefront of a new kind of warfare. It's time to fight all this name-calling with even more name-calling! Vilify the voters! Polarize the politics! Marginalize the moderates!

 :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!:

I think I found something you lot can actually get behind.

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