- Welcome to Principia Discordia.
Recent posts
#51
RPG Ghetto / Re: (For GMs) favorite PCs and...
Last post by Doktor Howl - August 11, 2026, 05:33:16 PMClub Foot Jones in PF1e
Pathetic halfling with a club foot (-5 ft movement, cannot run), cook/torchbearer, pathetically grateful to have a job, always talking about saving up enough money to marry his girl (who he has a picture of in his locket), etc. Looks and sounds like the woobie.
BUT.
He is in fact just a 2nd level expert, but he is also neutral evil and owns an amulet of nondetection with a permanent magic aura spell cast on it to make it seem non-magical (the locket). He has maxed out bluff to including taking the skill focus (bluff) feat.
And he aims to rob the party blind.
However, he is aware that vengeful PCs will chase him to the ends of the Earth, so they have to go. So what he does is steal from each PC when they're for some reason not paying attention. Then he puts the loot in another PC's gear. If caught, he bluffs his way through. His intent is that the PCs come to blows, then he picks the bodies clean.
If it looks like the PCs won't go after each other, he will wait until they're in town and then steal their shit and use bluff to shift blame to some no-name NPC at whatever inn they are staying at (he will in fact plant some of the lesser valuables on the NPC.)
If that doesn't work, he will then work on blackmailing the PCs through a 3rd party, who will afterwards suffer a tragic accident.
He will always have a plausible story. Remember that he is a skill monkey with no magic other than his amulet.
If discovered, he will flee. If captured, he will plead desperate poverty trying to feed his wife and 6 children, hoping the PCs forget about the "saving up to marry my girl" thing.
Pathetic halfling with a club foot (-5 ft movement, cannot run), cook/torchbearer, pathetically grateful to have a job, always talking about saving up enough money to marry his girl (who he has a picture of in his locket), etc. Looks and sounds like the woobie.
BUT.
He is in fact just a 2nd level expert, but he is also neutral evil and owns an amulet of nondetection with a permanent magic aura spell cast on it to make it seem non-magical (the locket). He has maxed out bluff to including taking the skill focus (bluff) feat.
And he aims to rob the party blind.
However, he is aware that vengeful PCs will chase him to the ends of the Earth, so they have to go. So what he does is steal from each PC when they're for some reason not paying attention. Then he puts the loot in another PC's gear. If caught, he bluffs his way through. His intent is that the PCs come to blows, then he picks the bodies clean.
If it looks like the PCs won't go after each other, he will wait until they're in town and then steal their shit and use bluff to shift blame to some no-name NPC at whatever inn they are staying at (he will in fact plant some of the lesser valuables on the NPC.)
If that doesn't work, he will then work on blackmailing the PCs through a 3rd party, who will afterwards suffer a tragic accident.
He will always have a plausible story. Remember that he is a skill monkey with no magic other than his amulet.
If discovered, he will flee. If captured, he will plead desperate poverty trying to feed his wife and 6 children, hoping the PCs forget about the "saving up to marry my girl" thing.
#52
RPG Ghetto / Re: Running my own take on The...
Last post by Doktor Howl - August 11, 2026, 05:20:06 PMBump for the pillaging of notes.
#53
Principia Discussion / Re: Is Our POEE Calendar Missi...
Last post by Abbot Mythos - August 11, 2026, 05:07:01 PMI had been feeling pretty good about my calculation for the date of the epochal response of our Blessed Goddess Eris to The Original Snub. So, I decided to review it, polish it up a bit, and possibly submit it to some Discordian sites where a few members might actually be interested in this sort of thing. But, I soon realized that my timeline contains an obvious flaw.
The problem is that given the reluctant bride's chaste reputation, it is extremely unlikely Achilles was conceived any earlier than the night of the Wedding Feast of Peleus and Thetis. And so, given that Achilles should have been, at least in stature, a powerful adult by the time he landed at Troy, something close to twenty (20) years should have passed between the Wedding Feast, and Achilles' beachhead landing. (By way of explanation, I believe something close to twenty years old is a realistic age estimate for a mortal, given that that is the age Spartan young men had to have been to have completed their long training, and be formally accepted into the active duty ranks of the Spartan army.) Now, of course, being that Achilles' mother was immortal, it could be argued that Achilles matured to manhood much sooner than a child born of mere mortal parents. But, even if this argument is acceptable, there is a limit to the number of years that can be realistically shaved off of Achilles' age between his conception, and the time Achilles arrived at Troy.
Much has been lost from the eight Epic Cycle poems that make up the Trojan War saga. Still, it requires a lot of imaginative contortions to fit a believable age for Achilles into a short time span between the Wedding Feast of Peleus and Thetis, and the start of the Trojan War. I then realized that thousands of scholars, over more than two thousand years, had to be aware of this glaring problem. And so, a surprisingly little additional research led me to Pseudo-Apollodorus and his Bibliotheca.
Now, according to Pseudo-Apollodorus, The Library and Epitome, E3.16:
Agamemnon himself was commander of the whole force, while Achilles, at fifteen years of age, took command of the fleet.
Well alrighty then. Taken at face value, that seems reasonable enough. But, it also means that Pseudo-Apollodorus accepted that there was a significant delay between the birth of Achilles, and the beachhead landing at Troy. And, Pseudo-Apollodorus accepted this in spite of Homer having never even hinted that any significant delays had occurred. And, to make matters worse, Pseudo-Apollodorus stated, in the same document, that there was yet another very long delay.
Anyway, I have been reminded that "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing." Still, I suspect Pseudo-Apollodorus included references to some popular "classical era fan fiction," meaning stuff that was not part of the original eight Epic Cycle poems, in his writings. But, if I can sort out the "fanfic," I just might be able to salvage the original concept, rework the timeline, and find another acceptable new moon date that occurred about a decade earlier.
This may take a while.
Hail Eris!
All Hail Discordia!
The problem is that given the reluctant bride's chaste reputation, it is extremely unlikely Achilles was conceived any earlier than the night of the Wedding Feast of Peleus and Thetis. And so, given that Achilles should have been, at least in stature, a powerful adult by the time he landed at Troy, something close to twenty (20) years should have passed between the Wedding Feast, and Achilles' beachhead landing. (By way of explanation, I believe something close to twenty years old is a realistic age estimate for a mortal, given that that is the age Spartan young men had to have been to have completed their long training, and be formally accepted into the active duty ranks of the Spartan army.) Now, of course, being that Achilles' mother was immortal, it could be argued that Achilles matured to manhood much sooner than a child born of mere mortal parents. But, even if this argument is acceptable, there is a limit to the number of years that can be realistically shaved off of Achilles' age between his conception, and the time Achilles arrived at Troy.
Much has been lost from the eight Epic Cycle poems that make up the Trojan War saga. Still, it requires a lot of imaginative contortions to fit a believable age for Achilles into a short time span between the Wedding Feast of Peleus and Thetis, and the start of the Trojan War. I then realized that thousands of scholars, over more than two thousand years, had to be aware of this glaring problem. And so, a surprisingly little additional research led me to Pseudo-Apollodorus and his Bibliotheca.
Now, according to Pseudo-Apollodorus, The Library and Epitome, E3.16:
Agamemnon himself was commander of the whole force, while Achilles, at fifteen years of age, took command of the fleet.
Well alrighty then. Taken at face value, that seems reasonable enough. But, it also means that Pseudo-Apollodorus accepted that there was a significant delay between the birth of Achilles, and the beachhead landing at Troy. And, Pseudo-Apollodorus accepted this in spite of Homer having never even hinted that any significant delays had occurred. And, to make matters worse, Pseudo-Apollodorus stated, in the same document, that there was yet another very long delay.
Anyway, I have been reminded that "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing." Still, I suspect Pseudo-Apollodorus included references to some popular "classical era fan fiction," meaning stuff that was not part of the original eight Epic Cycle poems, in his writings. But, if I can sort out the "fanfic," I just might be able to salvage the original concept, rework the timeline, and find another acceptable new moon date that occurred about a decade earlier.
This may take a while.
Hail Eris!
All Hail Discordia!
#54
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Clacton By-Election
Last post by Pope Mome Apocrypha - August 11, 2026, 03:41:08 PMThe ads have been particularly enjoyable, a novel experience across the board on that account
#55
Featured / Re: The Subtitle Says This Is ...
Last post by Doktor Howl - August 11, 2026, 03:08:14 PMWell, these sailors have been eating spam and canned beets 3 meals a day for a few months.
I am sure morale is high.
I am sure morale is high.
#56
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Clacton By-Election
Last post by Doktor Howl - August 11, 2026, 03:04:01 PMI have been following this with interest. His political ads are on point.
Especially the Clacton tourism ones.
Especially the Clacton tourism ones.
#57
Apple Talk / Re: Dispatches from the Bone Y...
Last post by Doktor Howl - August 11, 2026, 03:01:04 PMOh, wait.
"Task Manager Not Responding."
"Task Manager Not Responding."
#58
Apple Talk / Re: Dispatches from the Bone Y...
Last post by Doktor Howl - August 11, 2026, 02:59:59 PMMy computer at work is just a little old.
I tried to open another tab to check the weather and it locked up solid for 5 minutes, and apparently, I cannot be trusted with task manager.
I tried to open another tab to check the weather and it locked up solid for 5 minutes, and apparently, I cannot be trusted with task manager.
#59
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Subpoenaed by Co...
Last post by MMIX - August 11, 2026, 11:49:13 AMQuote from: Doktor Howl on August 10, 2026, 03:51:06 PMQuote from: Faust on August 08, 2026, 09:25:44 AMYep, people have voted with their wallets.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we got him"
The problem is I dont agree with the court of public opinion on this, and think the end result is stupid, and shit.Quote from: MMIX on August 09, 2026, 08:39:00 AMYep. I love how we have become societies where we demand higher standards of personal behaviour from people who write comic books than from politicians and presidents or attorneys general . . .
Is anyone surprised?
The obscenely wealthy own the ball and the ballpark. You will not worry about billionaire pedophiles, you will follow the thundering herd of tumblristas against George Takei and Warren Ellis.
Never mind that Takei was exonerated when the person who complained basically admitted he was trying to make money off of the notoriety.
I don't see a problem with believing the victim first. But eventually, I have to see some evidence. If that evidence isn't forthcoming, then I start questioning the narrative.
I am told this makes me part of the problem, etc, etc, and why can't I wear a safety pin in my lapel to show my commitment to Sparkle Motion™?
Yep. The proof of the pudding is in the evidence
#60
Discordian Recipes / Cooking Regretcipes.
Last post by DishpitDipshit - August 11, 2026, 10:11:20 AMOnce I tried mixing sweetened tropical kool-aid powder into scrambled eggs. Turned out far worse that expected. It an almost sandy texture, bright pink/orange color, and a flavor between sulphury water and Hi-C. Might try finding a picture. (If I still have the picture around)