I don’t care if this is true or not. Its amazing, and that’s all that matters.
Category Archives: Lulz
I’m in ur conspiracy theoriez, doin performance art
The very idea of a 911-TV-Fakery researcher faking their own suicide as a performance art piece is incredibly synchronistic for me given the last year and half’s experience of investigating the mysterious double suicide of conspiratorially minded artists Theresa Duncan and Jeremy Blake. In that case several folks at the Rigorous Intuition and Dreams End websites and forums were talking about the wild and weird world of Situationist performance art and related artistic movements, some of which seem to involve a lot of parapolitical intrigue that sometimes includes hoaxing, culture-jamming and even the faking of people’s murder or suicide, aka pseudocide. Other discussions centered on the idea of both real-world and online group-stalking and gaslighting of people driving them to perhaps commit suicide. In my interview last year with parapolitical activist, writer and researcher Len Bracken (author of the biography on Situationist movement leader Guy Debord – Revolutionary) I brought up the possible confluence of some of the wilder personalities within the 911 Truth Movement (folks who seem more like performance artists than activists and researchers) and the Situationist and Discordian communities.
Also, a link to the mentioned interview can be found here.
Subverse social messages in Thomas the Tank Engine
I don’t know who you are, or why you were Googling that, or even why you ended up here (though it does sound like something one of us would write about), but I think I love you, simply for supplying my mind with the possibility of such a thing being true.
What next Mol, adverts for Hezbollah?
My favouritest Pagan website on the planet, MysticPricks, has sunk to a new low. Not content with promoting woolly thinking, historical inaccuracy, superstitious dogma, sectarian hatred and allowing cryto-racists to have the run of the site, they’ve now stooped to the level of pimping The Church of Scientology!
As usual, click to view a larger image.
The question is, of course, is what to do with such information? Apparently, the site owner’s wife has already stated that to take it down would be to discriminate against Scientologists. You know, in the same way that arresting and incarcerating Al-Qaeda members is discriminating against Muslims. I know only a few weeks ago at least one member on the site made a detailed post listing the wrongs of the Church, so either they didn’t read the post (in which case they are bad admins, but then we already knew that), or they just don’t give a shit, and are more than willing to promote the Scifag cult because of the filthy lucre it brings in.
Beautify our town!
Beautify Our Town!
One of the excellent ideas to come out of this year’s KallistiCon is the BOT project. In short, we have chosen a small town in the midwestern United States that we are going to beautify, Discordian style. Discordians have done some excellent concerted jakes in the past, usually aimed at businesses or governmental bodies. We thought, why not a town? Why not up the weirdness quotient for a whole town?
We have chosen a town. We have a specific project. We need your help.
We are in the preparation stage right now, and the project will commence on August 23rd, the Day of Discord.
Who: You! And your friends!
Where: The location will be disclosed to people who join the project via the project mailing list. We are in the process of compiling a database of addresses.
When: Starting August 23rd, and then on the 9th and 23rd of the month for the next six months.
Why: For the lulz. To make the world a weirder place. To find fellowship amongst freaks.
What: This is a letter writing campaign. Write a letter to someone as if you had bought a product from them, and you are writing to express how happy or unhappy you are with it. Please, get creative! You may have purchased a goat harness and found yourself unhappy that the goat didn’t come included, or find yourself extremely satisfied with your new dildo cozy since it keeps your dildo so toasty warm. Aim for the ridiculous! Once you’ve written a letter you’re happy with, print out five or ten copies and send them to different people.
For right now, join the mailing list to hear more as the date approaches. We’ll send you contact info for residents of Our Town and a few sample letters. You’ll also get to read letters other people are sending out, and be in on our other BOT projects.
Join up!
http://lists.discordian.com/listinfo.cgi/bot-discordian.com
Humour is a weapon….so you better learn how to use it!
“The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.â€
– Mark Twain
“Wit is a dangerous weapon, even to the possessor, if he knows not how to use it discreetlyâ€
– Michael de Montaigne
Both Montaigne and Twain were, of course, entirely right in their assessments. Especially Montaigne, that genteel and erudite man of letters, whose scholarly essays were always filled with amusing and witty anecdotes, usually at his own expense.
But the fact remains, humour is a weapon. In fact, its the best weapon there is. How powerful is a potential Adolph Hitler if all his voters are laughing at him? Bigots and fundamentalists of all stripes have a decidedly dim view of humour for this reason. It’s not a product of force, but of the intellect. It doesn’t reduce cities to rubble or execute heretics, but at the same time it can be used to kill a man stone dead, in the eyes of those whose respect and fear he needs the most.
Even the traditionalist militarists and corporatists are suspicious of humour. Its not something that can be used for inflating an R&D budget, nor acquired and stockpiled at great cost. Equally, its subversive tendencies chafe against the regimentation and hierarchical nature of corporate life.
The thing is, with all weapons, you have to know how to use it right. Just like in a knife fight, where an inexperienced idiot with a blade is a greater danger to themselves than an unarmed expert, you have to know how to use humour properly, or else you’ll end up hoisted on your own petard, as it were.
Because of this, a sort of rumour, or perhaps a scurrilous lie, has been spread about humour. Apparently, its an inborn trait, like blonde hair, or height, or wanting to be a corporate liar. Some sort of genetic fluke which makes some people funny and others not. And if you are one, then you can never be the other, try as you might.
It is, of course, complete and utter bullshit. No doubt some people have more of a natural flair for humour – perhaps an ease with large audiences, a natural disposition to be the centre of attention, an excellent command of the English language. But humour, like any other skill and especially writing style, can be cultivated and developed, up until the point it can be forged into a weapon, a perfect design to smash enemies and leave them looking like fools.
Unfortunately, this means we’re going to have to do some incredibly unfunny analysis of humour and how it actually works. If that bothers you, then I suggest you look away…now.
Right, now we’re rid of them. I suppose I should start from the beginning. What is the point of humour? Psychologists have actually found that humour, while an innate trait among most humans, also serves some interesting sociological purposes as well.
Usually, these are divided down into six reasons:
we laugh out of instinct
we laugh out of incongruity
we laugh out of ambivalence
we laugh for release
we laugh when we solve a puzzle
we laugh when we regress
Additionally, two meta-reasons are often added to this analysis:Â we laugh out of surprise, or because we feel superior.
Surprise is obvious and easy. Its also one of the most universal reasons for laughing. Embarrassment and trickery are core to this idea. Obviously, you have to maintain the level of surprise for this type of humour to work. Easily guessed wordplay might be witty, but lacking that factor, it is not especially funny.
Surprise is, in essence, the cardinal rule of comedy. It should have some role in almost everything funny you do. Without it, comedy ceases to be. Its a curve ball that throws the audience off balance.
Superiority, of course, is one that should actually interest us too. All good humour has an element of both tragedy and cruelty to it, to be really effective. What adds to that effectiveness is the feeling that those who are not the target of the joke, or who guessed at or appreciated the joke, are superior to those who are not.
This may sound, in theory, elitist, but it need not be. In fact, comedy of this sort is often the great equalizer, documenting and mocking the failings of the great and powerful, of people who want to put you in your place. Comedy of this sort is the true razor blade of rhetoric, its use is to cut the other person down to size. Its transgressive nature questions assumptions and cherished beliefs. As social criticism, it is especially effective because humour goes beyond restrictions and social norms. Humour can also be used to maintain the status quo, to ridicule out-groups…but that sort of humour is boring and stale.
Instinctively, we laugh as a verbal substitute for an attack. The laugh of the triumphant is the one that says “I am better than you.â€Â It is a way of venting hostility when physical assault is not practical.
Incongruity makes us laugh because something is internally inconsistent, it is paired or matched in odd ways. When we realize why, or how, we laugh. Often this is related to the idea of superiority, though the original appearance of the incongruous may be surprising as well. The two combined are especially effective.
Ambivalence is similar to incongruity, but instead of the clash or conflict of irreconcilable ideas or perceptions, ambivalence is the simultaneous presence of mixes signals. Once decoded, the language expresses both of these feelings, usually love and hate, at the same time. It is an attempt to maintain dignity, to cover up our foolish errors, and is especially useful in self-deprecating humour.
Release is a pretty obvious one. We laugh to release tension, to remove ourselves from uncomfortable or dangerous situations, to air truths that may be otherwise hard to face. This release is especially useful if it can be experienced as a group event – and the element of surprise must be removed. The audience must know what lies behind the door, or what happens next to the over-curious cat. That is where the rule of surprise no longer applies.
After we’ve been roughed up, its nice to see someone else take a few lumps. The idea is that if we are laughing at them, then they cannot laugh at us. This humour can spark a revolutionary sentiment, or quash it, giving safe release to emotions that may be better used getting people to work at something else. Consider its use carefully.
Puzzles are also elements of surprise. Its a matter of configuration, the set up. You have to frame a problem or a riddle in a certain manner, then propose a valid, if surprising, answer to it. We take delight in the surprise, and comfort in the superiority of knowledge.
In terms of regression, Freud argued that comedy was as important as sleep. It allowed for more primitive urges and desires to be expressed in acceptable social ways. Especially for infantile, sexual or aggressive behaviour. A playful mood, adopted as relaxation, is the most common form of this sort of humour (consider the comic strip – often the most common form of humour regardless of nationality or culture). This also includes a desire for social approval however. Regressive humour is rarely continued without a form of social acceptance, especially from authority figures. It is therefore a tool to be used when you and your audience share a target in common, someone whom you both dislike and feel needs to be made an object of ridicule.
In short, humour is a manifestation of what society really believes, but dares not say. It pierces beneath the bullshit and spin to get at the Really Real (Perceived) Truth of the matter. Because sometimes we cannot deal with tragedy directly, we rely on humour to ease our way to acceptance.
Sick humour, in and of itself, is rarely effective, except perhaps as an opening gambit, a ploy to attract attention. Beyond that, it can actually have a negative effect on audiences.
So, that’s the why of humour, the idea as to why we need it. Now we move onto the nuts and bolts, the how of humour. These are the necessary ingredients for any comedic routine. Without them, the humour may taste somewhat off or wrong, and in worst case scenarios, ruin the entire joke.
The six principle ingredients are:
Target
Hostility
Realism
Exaggeration
Emotion
Surprise
The target is the most important aspect of this. A successful target must fit the persona and style you are using, as well as the interests of the audience. Therefore, pick your battles carefully, and with this uppermost in your mind. Just remember, you have to reaffirm some the prejudices of your audience, and be very unfair to whoever your target is. Oh well, such is life. There is no room for balance or explanation in a joke, you have to be as ruthless as a General. See the weakness, and exploit it for all its worth. Deny the goodness of your target.
If you cannot pick a person, then pick an experience with universal appeal. But I prefer the well known person route, since we are talking of humour as a weapon here. Also, remember that if you do pick an experience, do not make it too broad. It has to be specific in what it entails. Driving is not funny, women who manage to multi-task every single fucking thing in the world while driving, however, can be.
Hostility is next. Comedy is cruel. In our case, necessarily so, because we deal with cruel people in a cruel world. This hostility is a powerful antidote to the hostility many of us feel to those we are surrounded by in our every day lives – it is a release, because we all have an element of hostility towards something.
Authority is a natural target the world over for comics. Remember it, cherish it, use it. People all around the world hate their leaders, their systems, the powers they have to labour under. This humour is nihilistic – no one is too powerful or too pure to be beyond reproach. Just remember lots of people have sympathy for the underdog, so direct that hostility upwards.
Next to authority, money and business are also perfect targets. Aside from that, angst, the painful knowledge of the ugly reality, is another one. Merchandising human suffering is the fuel which angst runs on.
Realism. Like all good propaganda and disinformation, comedy contains a kernel of truth hidden within it. Comedy is essentially telling the truth via lying, the use of juxtaposition, surprise and the bending of language to give life to an unexpressable reality.
Most of the facts of humour should be logical and obvious, but hidden via convention and expression so that we don’t quite apprehend them correctly. A major deviation from reality wont prevent humour, however it will likely not be as funny as a joke based on reality is.
Exaggeration. Ah, poetic licence. Humour is what allows people to suspend disbelief, and this should be used to its full advantage. Absurdity, hyperbole and outright lying are all acceptable because, as the exaggeration signals to us: hey, its only a joke. Often the foil to the realism of the joke, the two are held up and follow from each other to create the incongruity that results in laughter.
Emotion. Hostility alone is not enough emotion. There has to be an element of anticipation within the audience, the joke has to be built up. In effect, you create tension, then you release it. The audience is wound up, then down. You must, in effect, adopt a persona which can bring about this effect within an audience. Almost always, the best way to do this is with a character that shows a sort of boundless, almost infectious energy. You also have to know how to use language. Where to stop, where to start, where to pause – there must be a rhythm to your delivery.
Stand-up in particular is more a funny man doing material than a man doing funny material. To a degree, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. The man who is delivering the material is funny, therefore his material must be funny too. This identity/rhetorical sleight of hand is not always true, but it is worth remembering and considering. Delivery is key, and cannot be understated.
Surprise. Of course, this was mentioned in the previous chapter, but merits a mention here as well. Charlie Chaplin defined surprise in terms of a film scene in which the villain is chasing the heroine down the street. On the sidewalk is a banana peel. The camera cuts swiftly back and forth from the banana peel to the approaching villain. At the last second, the heavy sees the banana peel and jumps over it—and then falls into an open manhole.
The surprise cannot be telegraphed. No matter what. It must be genuine, or else it loses its impact. You have to master the poker face, keep the audience in suspense for just long enough to pull the rug out from under them.
OK, this is getting far too long already, and I cannot possibly hope to include every single possible hint about comedy. But keep these ideas in mind, play around with them, practice, and encourage creativity within humour! And as you get better…put it to a use!
Teh great Atheist Conspiracy…
I know I really should leave such things to Anton Vowl, as he is so much better at them. But I was trolling around the Daily Mail messageboard on a slow Friday afternoon when I saw the topic title….
“are atheists infiltrating organizations such as education, government etc?”
and I just knew it was going to be a clusterfuck of epic tinfoil hattery and right-wing paranoia. I was not disappointed.
In the thread about the dreaded Heinz Mayo “gay” ad, one respondent stated that atheists are infiltrating organisations that influence government, educational policy, etc.
Can atheists really do that? After all, they are not an organised as such. Is the real truth merely that more people are rejecting religion and becoming de-facto atheists, such that the proportion of atheists in all sorts of organisations is increasing because of that, i.e. it’s mere statistics?
Is it really a conspiracy?
A sensible start….surely this cannot last. Atheism debates are like those on abortion…pure flamebait.
YES Mikey my man, oh yes!! Read Peter Hitchins, an ex-communist..
The communist party used to say…go out and submerse Into the establishment, government, schools, authorities…I’m not quoting but find out Mikey. Look at government… the number of ex-communist party members and ex-marxist types…
YES, THE COMMUNIST CONSPIRACY IS BACK IN FASHION! POST #1 BITCHES, AND WE’RE ALREADY BACK TO THE 1950S, BOO-YAH!
Just look at the members in the NUT to find out how far these people have infiltrated education and the ‘elf and safety brigade in local councils are teeming with them. Even the higher ranks of the police have them in abundance.
Reminder: if lots of educated people agree, its not because of superb reasoning skills and access to more factual information, its because they are being manipulated by a conspiracy.
I haven’t read anything this funny in a long time! “These people” indeed. Atheists were around long before anyone caught religion, and do you know what? We’re not communists, marxists or fascists, we’re just people who lead ordinary decent lives without believing in any gods – and you sound so horrified, as if we’re trying to undermine society!
Atheist disinformation agents have even infiltrated the Daily Mail!
i think you are right. you only have to look at Great Britain with high teenage pregnancies, broken homes, political correctness and not being allowed to make judgements about peoples’ lifestyles. There are people being shot dead for being in the wrong place.
I think having christian values did keep people on the right track.
Goddamn those fucking Atheists and their lack of morals making it unacceptable for me to persecute teh gheys. I see no unintentional irony in my previous statement whatsoever, either.
The people that have infiltrated our society have no religious preferences. They probably call themselves atheists but their religion is Marxism. They don’t worship a deity, just an idea that is a proven failure. I suppose that’s the difference: nobody has ever proven that God does not exist whereas Marxism has been tried and has failed miserably.
But that won’t stop those who are hungry for power over the proletariat. Antyjax is obviously familiar with the type, and there are thousands of them, in education, local government and the criminal justice system. It isn’t an organised conspiracy, but each of them are following the teachings of Gramsci and the Frankfurt School.
I’m sure that sounded really smart in his head.
Atheists tend to have the evangelical zeal of all religious zealots. They are so arrogant in their personal beliefs and self esteem, that they will not brook alternative belief systems!
All the PC claptrap, about renaming Christmas and the like, are all down to Atheists in Local Government.
What makes their actions all the more disgusting are their attempts at blaming Muslims, or Hindus, etc.. These unfortunates find themselves beset by Press Commentators, blaming them for something for which they have no knowledge, or inclination! To the contrary. They mostly enjoy the family aspects of our CHRISTIAN celebrations!
(The Muslims also hold Christ in high esteem and see no reason why they should not celebrate Christmas alongside Christians!……… Go to Saudi Arabia and you will find that out in short order!)
Yeah, goddamn Atheists and their Winterval! Religious nutters of the world, UNITE and let us be rid of this menace.
The point of the Bible, and Christianity is to promote harmony and a moral life. The 10 Commandments are good rules for morality, and which every decent human being will follow naturally. As our community has gone away from the church and the fear of what comes next (heaven, hell?), we are heading for barbarism. This is already clear by what is happening in every inner-city and now suburban streets with young men and woman being killed in cold blood for little or no reason. All religions have their own version of the 10 Commandments which again are moral pointers for the followers.
To go to the original question, Jax has answered it pretty well in my opinion. So yes I do really believe that atheists have infiltrated government at every level, hence it will reach the education system. Private church schools, I suspect, are an exception.
Britain was harmonious back when peasants believed the King ruled by the divine grace of God, and I approve of this system. Speaking as an agnostic.
I am more alarmed that teachers are using their jobs to poison the minds of our young children with their left wing convictions. It isn’t as if the teaching profession can be proud of their acheivements as so many children leave school without the ability to read or write properly. Universities are having to train youngsters the basics before they can persue the courses at Uni.
As for the police they have alienated the majority of the law abiding population with their policy of appeasing criminals and taking ot out on the rest of us.
Because ignorance and irrational brutality are hallmarks of all Atheist thought.
I cannot see God but I can have faith In God’s existence. Science may someday come to a proof of the truth or falsehood of a creator, but It Is In no position today to do either. If you say..”I see no evidence that there Is a God” fair enough. But go as far as saying..”I know there Is no God” and you have taken a leap of faith as large as that of any theist.
Although theists are better, because they are right. Or something.
I’m a Christian and I believe In God. It’s really quite easy, I believe there Is one God. He actually Loves you, and you try to mock and sneer, and yet he still Loves you. But I don’t actually have to explain my BELIEF to you, rather you have to explain your ASSERTION that there Is no God?? And you have to do a lot better than “I know there are no God’s because there Is no evidence.” You have a BELIEF that there Is no God, and that Is fine. But you don’t KNOW. So for all your assertions, you’re not being very assertive are you?
Because asserting an unknowable without evidence is an excellent system of logical thinking.
I believe the heading of this post is misleading and would be less so if it read “are the extreme left infiltrating organisations such as education ,government,etc.
the answer is yes they are and always have done just because tony blair denied them the right to stand as labour candidates doesn’t mean they have gone away or changed their beliefs they are still out there burrowing away into all aspects of our lives,and i don’t believe it will be long before they rear their heads again and feel safe to come out into the open again.They are in all probability atheists,but that is not the b all and end all of their beliefs but may be the basis for them.
The question is ,are they a danger to our society must be an undoubtable yes,but is far more outreaching than just are they atheist !
Many atheists are content in their non belief,and content to let the rest of us believe what ever we want.The extreme left are not .
Atheists are a front for the Communists! COMMUNISTS!!12!
I find it unbelieveably funny how non believers get so upset about something they don’t believe in
ok, you don’t believe in God. thats your choice. but why do you get so angry and upset with those of us who do believe in God? I find that it is especially the Christian faith which gets such anger etc directed towards it
I do not for one second believe in the hindu religion. However I don’t get all worked up and angry about it. Let them believe what they do.
atheisem is a belief aswell btw
Well, last time I checked, it wasn’t Hindus who had a majority in this country. But of course that couldn’t be the reason, could it?
On numerous occasions, I have had an atheist say to me something along the lines of
“we don’t know what caused the universe”
yet they will boldly claim that there is no evidence of God. If God caused / created the universe then it stands to reason that the universe (in fact all of creation) is evidence of God. Are you able to prove that God did not cause / create the universe?
Incidentally, to answer your question about why I believe in God, there are two reasons.
1. I believe what is said in the Bible about Him. The central theme is that before God, all have sinned and the punishment for that sin is death. God loved the world so much that He sent His Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross so that people can be forgiven of their sins. Only in Christianity can I find this redemptive message where salvation is based on what Jesus Christ has done, not on some works-based method present in all other religions.
2. Since becoming a Christian, I have the testimony in my life as to answered prayer, or how God helped me through a difficult situation. The personal evidence for my faith is therefore my testimony. Now others can choose what alternative explanation they give to what I attribute to God at work, but description of something doesn’t alter what it is. It only affects one’s perception of it.
Logic is really wasted on some people.
David Icke is running as an MP
According to Icke’s own website:
I want to make it clear one more time because a few people have still got the wrong impression. I have not put my name forward in the upcoming by-election because I want to win and nor do I have any chance of winning. I will get a few votes at most in the time we have. Personally I am not in the least bothered if I get zero.
It is not about that. It is about taking an opportunity in a by-election called by the sitting MP on the subject of ‘Big Brother’ to make the point that this is far, far bigger than even he realises and unless we see the BIG picture of what is going on nothing effective can be done to stop it.
We can sit on our bums and moan, or we can do what we don’t want to do (as with me in this case) to communicate what people need to know as effectively as we can.
best wishes,
David
I for one welcome our reptilian overlords.
The Discordian Cyberspace Masquerade
Kallisticon 2008
From a secure location beneath New Alamut,
Left Coast, Turtle Island, Earth
Fool’s Day 2008
Discordians, Dysnomians, Erisians, and others of much ilk…
Get up! (Get on up!)
KallistiCon 2008 is coming – June 20-22!
Every year this millennium, we’ve gotten together in the Bay Area in California. We’re not just rehashing gags from the Principia – we’re moving forward, practicing chaos in the world.
For the last seven years, we’ve eaten and drank together, we’ve made friends with strangers in traffic, we’ve had rituals and blessings, we’ve been weird in public, and we’ve been human with each other. We’ve found the freaks who thought they were the only ones, and taught them – and ourselves – what tribe is supposed to mean.
Some of you will say: “But Discordians are supposed to be disorganized.”
Didn’t you know that’s just a put-on?
Some of you will say we’re doing it wrong, and only you know the right way to follow Eris.
That’s OK. Just quit talking about it and start doing it.
Some will no doubt repeat the tired cliche: “We Discordians tend to stick apart.”
Of course we do, but sticking apart is more fun when we do it together.
Throw out your old memes. Greg and Kerry are gone, Bob Wilson is gone, Camden Benares and the other old-timers are gone. Let’s honor and respect them. Let’s learn from their lives and their teachings. But let’s stop trying to be them.
The Principia is your grandma’s Discordia. Being an inside joke on the net is your daddy’s. What’s yours? And who are you doing it with?
gabba gabba
we accept you
we accept you
one of us
http://www.kallisticon.com
June 20-22, 2008
Redwood City, California
RSVP by June 15!
Contact: email stmae@discordian.com