1. Midway through the day, change into a different set of clothes. If anybody notices, insist you’ve been wearing the same clothes all day.
2. Answer the phone with an arbitrary question.
3. Switch all the clothes in someone’s dresser with clothes from someone else’s dresser (possibly yours). If they live together and will bump into each other wearing each other’s clothes, all the better.
4. Put things which couldn’t possibly be mailed in people’s mailboxes, like a glass of water, or a bowl of popcorn. Write the address on it and attach proper postage.
5. When you’re about to enter a room full of people, call one of them on your cell phone. In a desperate, very serious voice, explain: “There’s no time to explain, but I’ve been kidnapped and replaced with a robot which looks just like me. Oh shit, I gotta go!” and hang up quickly.
6. Hide notes that people will find when they’re cleaning. Suggestions include: “This note was hidden on <date> and it took you this long to find it?”
7. Hide a note which says “Congratulations! You found me! Re-hide me for ++GOOD LUCK”
8. Put non food items in the fridge. It’s often very startling to open the fridge and see a telephone or car keys or something which totally doesn’t belong there. If asked for an explanation, say, “After a hard day, there’s nothing like a refreshing, ice cold magazine.” or pencil sharpener. or toilet paper. or tooth brush. or whatever.
9. Alternatively, hide other people’s things in the fridge. When your housemate asks, “Where’s the remote control?” you can nonchalantly say “Oh, it’s in the fridge.” Protip: have a change-of-topic or excuse to leave the room on the tip of your tongue so as to avoid any followup questions.
10. Record something short, and put a few minutes of silence on both ends of it. Hide your mp3 player + speakers somewhere with that track playing on repeat.
11. If you can surreptitously record someone and put THEIR voice on the tape, even better. Hide the recording somewhere where they’ll probably hear it. Imagine how weird it would be to hear your own voice coming from somewhere unseen, and not be able to figure out what’s happening.
12. Put up a sign anywhere you want with an arbitrary question.
13.Â Skip to work.Â Especially effective if your company makes you wear “business professional” attire.
14.Â Break out into spontaneous Irish Jigs in the hallway.Â You get more viewers when you do this between 12 noon and 1 PM and do it near the break room.
15.Â Neck poking is fun. Nobody expects it, and it gets quit a reaction.
16. Inappropriate multitasking:Â Brush your teeth while cooking.Â Floss while standing at a urinal.Â Mix n’ match gone wrong.
17. Sit down in a hallway, aisle, etc.Â Someone is sure to ask if you’re OK.Â That’s your set up.
18. Use the most inefficient utensil possible to eat.Â (Eating Combos or pretzels out of a bag with chopsticks was pioneered by Leln and myself)
19. Stop a conversation with “Wait a second…”, and then see how long it takes someone to butt in.Â Act incredulous when they ask why you said it.Â Insist you never did.
20. Insert “Spies are everywhere.” or “The walls have ears.” into otherwise harmless conversations.
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