ITT: Best Posts of the Day

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

ECH's post-prep pre-lunch-rush breakfast of choice when working:

combine in blender:

1 banana (peeled)
1 raw egg (shell can be discarded, if preferred)
1/2 cup orange juice
1/2 cup frozen strawberries
1/2 cup milk
1 cup decent brandy or rum

blend until smooth, then pour into a 22oz. mug until about 1/2 to 2/3 full.
top mug off with 1/2 can of fruit punch-flavored Nos Energy Drink
stir gently with spoon to mix, then pound it down.

repeat, as you will usually end up with enough to make two mugs.

you won't have to eat for a good 12 hours and you will be totally ready to fistfight a rhino.

[Cramulus]

my friend posted this on facebook and I think it deserves POTD status:



<NAME> watched The Neverending Story last night on DVD and learned that if you dont select anything on the DVD menu, after a minute or two the film starts automatically. Furthermore, if you let the credits roll to the end, it goes back to the menu and starts the film again, creating an endless loop. I dont know if the makers of the movie planned it this way but, inadvertently, the film can finally live up to its name.

[Suu]

DINGLE DINGLE DINGLE DINGLE! what's that kids? It's the evil van! yaaaaaaaay!



evil comes in more flavors than ice cream. you want some insidious sneaking evil? oh yeah, they have that, you want brutal systematic by the numbers evil, they have that but its a little bitter. you want some hot burning evil sauce on that? they have that too. they have so many damn flavors, that if you took a little lick of each of them, y'know, the free samples they leave out to tempt you in, you'd be puking for a week. genocide ripple is always a good seller, rapey road sure is popular these days. corporate greed sunday was in for a while, but then they stopped making that one, as well, the bankers ate it all up. peado & nut is quite popular as well.

Don't ask me why.

if you want the low fat option, you could go for a nice spousal abuse & raisin. a nice methamphitime choc chip? crack with a side of aggravated battery? whats that? you want dark unforgivable evil, oh they have plenty of that. its like a cone made of sour ashes of the fallen, and well, fuck me, you do not even want to know what's in the sprinkles.

and the cherry sauce.

my god. the sauce.

there's so many, many flavours its enough to give a man brain freeze, just even thinking about it.

[Triple Zero]

definitely.

[Hoopla!]

I refuse to alter my behavior based on the hypothetical stern looks and dissapointed shake of the head from millions of our progeny.  They can retroactively damn us if they like, and they will be assholes smug in their perfect hindsight.  I'm confident I won't be around to see it. 

Dropping everything, life, job, savings and resources into saving a few polar bears would be about as useless as purposely tracking down and killing one so I can produce pictures of my flipping off the high and mighty enlightened future while munching on a polar bear steak.     

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Today's Cramulan tongue twister:

Cram rams cramming rams and rams cram a ham in cans.

say it five times, fast!

I did this and my face experienced a hairsplosion!
I tried to shave off the mustache and two more took its place!
What sorcery is this!?

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

This is what I do with my hair when it falls out:

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

This is what I do with my hair when it falls out:

I actually love this.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I had no idea it would be so loved.

My children used to play with them in the bathtub, and argue over who had the cutest one.

[Bu🤠ns]

[E.O.T.]

I had no idea it would be so loved.

My children used to play with them in the bathtub, and argue over who had the cutest one.

I CANNOT

          believe my kids are spending the night at your house, right now

JUST, PLEASE

          make sure they wear clean socks to bed

[Doktor Howl]

Every kid should have a sitter like Nigel.  Muhaha.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

socks in bed?!?!

[Reginald Ret]

socks in bed?!?!

yeah wtf?
no matter how good your socks are, your feet need to breathe to keep them non-stinky.
keep em permanently wrapped up and they will smell worse.