The Cheeseburger Experiment

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Nigel the blog is entertaining as hell

Getting the point, ITT.  

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I was waiting for the "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" line to pop up. That's utter bullshit.

Eating cheeseburgers for a month isn't going to make you stronger.

I didn't say it would. I said that I have always enjoyed food experiments and that I have an exceptional ability to digest questionable food, and yes, 000, odds are good that eating a lot of questionable and/or unsanitary foods over the course of my life has strongly contributed to that ability. My intestinal fauna is a nearly unstoppable army, built over decades of putting potentially gross things into my mouth to absorb their power.

This theory, which you presumptuously call bullshit, is backed up by the magic of SCIENCE.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I was waiting for the "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" line to pop up. That's utter bullshit.

Somewhere, the ghost of a German philosopher is crying.

I hope you're happy.

[Bruno]

Have you noticed a change in your body odor? I've noticed that whenever I eat a lot of hamburgers, I develop a kind of hamburgery smell that doesn't wash off, and is particularly noticeable immediately after a hot shower.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Have you noticed a change in your body odor? I've noticed that whenever I eat a lot of hamburgers, I develop a kind of hamburgery smell that doesn't wash off, and is particularly noticeable immediately after a hot shower.

Not yet. However, my usual diet consists of a great deal of beef, cheese, and tomatoes, so my smell might not change much.

My farts smell kind of like cheese now, though.

[Cramulus]

My farts smell kind of like cheese now, though.

important note for the poop log




in the name of science, I demand you photograph your solid waste output and create a graph which tracks them by the following 3 measures:




1. # of poops produced in one sitting (n/a for diarrhea)

2. consistency of poops: 1 = firm, solid bricks. 5 = diarrhea

3. amount of pleasure generated by the act of pooping. 1 = painful gasps and neck-bulging heaves. 5 = slick and smooth, like crapping velvet



                            IT'S SCIENCE
                                       \

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

My farts smell kind of like cheese now, though.

important note for the poop log




in the name of science, I demand you photograph your solid waste output and create a graph which tracks them by the following 3 measures:




1. # of poops produced in one sitting (n/a for diarrhea)

2. consistency of poops: 1 = firm, solid bricks. 5 = diarrhea

3. amount of pleasure generated by the act of pooping. 1 = painful gasps and neck-bulging heaves. 5 = slick and smooth, like crapping velvet



                            IT'S SCIENCE
                                       \

Poop log is now up

NO PICTURES, SORRY CRAM.

[Eater of Clowns]

Missing the point, ITT.

I'd already commented on the point.  That post was about the support and detraction from said point.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Missing the point, ITT.

I'd already commented on the point.  That post was about the support and detraction from said point.

MUST MAINTAIN SERIOUSNESS AT ALL COSTS

DO NOT CRACK SMILE

[Cainad (dec.)]

NIGEL

STOP THIS MADNESS IMMEDIATELY

EATING CHEESEBURGERS FOR A MONTH WILL TURN YOU INTO A HUMAN WHALE WITH CANCEROUS DIABETES

YOU'LL GROW TO HATE ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND DEVELOP PARANOID BORDERLINE BIPOLAR SCHIZOTYPAL NARCISSISTIC DYSLEXIC ASSBURGER'S SYNDROME ONCE THE CHEESEBURGER TOXINS SEEP INTO YOUR BRAIN

YOUR CHILDREN WILL BECOME ESTRANGED, YOUR SKIN WILL BECOME OLD AND WRINKLY WITHIN WEEKS, YOUR ORGANS WILL FAIL, YOUR BLOOD WILL BECOME A RIVER OF PURE CHOLESTEROL, YOUR HOUSE WILL BURN DOWN, AND THE WEATHER WILL BE JUST AWFUL

ALSO YOU'LL DEVELOP A KANSAS ACCENT AND POOP COWS

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

NIGEL

STOP THIS MADNESS IMMEDIATELY

EATING CHEESEBURGERS FOR A MONTH WILL TURN YOU INTO A HUMAN WHALE WITH CANCEROUS DIABETES

YOU'LL GROW TO HATE ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND DEVELOP PARANOID BORDERLINE BIPOLAR SCHIZOTYPAL NARCISSISTIC DYSLEXIC ASSBURGER'S SYNDROME ONCE THE CHEESEBURGER TOXINS SEEP INTO YOUR BRAIN

YOUR CHILDREN WILL BECOME ESTRANGED, YOUR SKIN WILL BECOME OLD AND WRINKLY WITHIN WEEKS, YOUR ORGANS WILL FAIL, YOUR BLOOD WILL BECOME A RIVER OF PURE CHOLESTEROL, YOUR HOUSE WILL BURN DOWN, AND THE WEATHER WILL BE JUST AWFUL

ALSO YOU'LL DEVELOP A KANSAS ACCENT AND POOP COWS

HOLY SHIT

Please post this as a comment on my blog... please...

[Cainad (dec.)]

Done.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

 

[Iason Ouabache]

I was waiting for the "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" line to pop up. That's utter bullshit.

Somewhere, the ghost of a German philosopher is crying.

I hope you're happy.

A couple of weeks ago I saw someone attribute that quote to Kanye West. It made me want to reach through the screen and slap him in the face.

[Eater of Clowns]

Missing the point, ITT.

I'd already commented on the point.  That post was about the support and detraction from said point.

MUST MAINTAIN SERIOUSNESS AT ALL COSTS

DO NOT CRACK SMILE

Fuck, I can't use  because it's kinda smiling.