intermitten phobia

[the last yatto]

thanks lizard

[the last yatto]

i think these two pieces would work well in the same issue...

(Contains no eurotard)
8.5 x 11 in

I HAVE BEEN TO THE MOUNTAIN TOP. I've been above the tree line, where nothing grows but lichen, and nobody's really sure if that counts as life or not anyway. The air is thin up there, but you can see a long, long way. You can see your house, you can see your car, you can see the roads we draw in the sand, and how pitiful they are, stretching on for miles but barely scratching the surface of an inhospitable landscape. You can see the hills and the mountains, crawling silently toward the cities; the rivers, slowly carving out the graves of civilization.

To be sure, a lot of things are happening, most of it just slightly beyond the edges of our perception. And while it all happens we are down here, scampering back and forth confused little ants, never really sure what we're doing
(or why), but carrying on like there's no other way. Yes, you can see a lot from the top of a mountain. I guess that's all I'm trying to say.

I also have something to say about PD. Much like a hometown, PD is the place where many of us first realized something very important, whatever it might be. It is a place that somehow (and honestly I have no idea how, exactly) is able to leave an impression. It's just SMF with some fancy emoticons and higher quality spags, but for some reason many of us find it to be a place that, in our increasingly cardboard world, really feels like somewhere. There is a first time for everything, and PD has seen a lot of things have their first time. It saw the first time I ever shouted my guts up about something and, instead of a virtual room filled with vacant applause or uneasy agreement for a few moments, there was a room filled with discussion about topics I thought nobody would ever be able to discuss.

PD is also like a hometown in that eventually you want to leave. It could be for any reason; maybe Roger's pants are on too tight one day and he looks at you funny. Maybe some noob has infiltrated Apple Talk and is spamming the place up. Maybe there is a gigantic Sociological Experiment going on and you're secretly the butt of some ass-tard's half-cocked scheme to get a few cheap yuks at your expense. Or maybe, like me, you just start feeling like the magic is gone and you haul off blaming everybody around you for that, like it's their job to make you feel like a fucking princess.

Anyway, the point is that eventually, you might want to leave PD, in spite of the fact that is magical, wondrous, and basically the best thing on the Internet (aside from Russian porno). In fact, the more impressed you are with PD at first, the higher the chance is that later, you will want out for some reason.

But I will also tell you that there is no escape. Out there in the world, where you are but gear being ground to a pulp in the Machine, where there is no light except whatever comes dripping out of late-night TV, while you sit there with a death grip on every space between inconsequential decisions, wondering to yourself why your life has no direction and why nothing makes any sense and why there is nobody to talk to about it; out there where Discord is bad, and nobody likes you making fun of their dead Aunt's funeral dress... Out there, you'll find your way back here faster than you think. Because PD isn't just a website, it's the gaping maw at the end of every Discordian's quest for meaning.

question is to include them near each other, or one at the front and the other at the end.

[the last yatto]

so really dig what net did there, even if its not arial
but it inspired me to really build my word salads,
or juicy steaks i find  around the board
with the audience in mind.

that doesnt look like a block of text but IT IS

[the last yatto]

forgot to check this one...
would work well with jury of peers
http://publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=1244

[Dimocritus]

C'mon, man! You're gonna get lapped by the Meat-space edition! It looks great! Print it! Bind it! Ship it!

[Cramulus]

from the Chao te Ching:

Chapter 28
The news anchor is a comedian
who delivers grim stand-up with a straight face.
Some reel back in terror.
Some are numb.
Some laugh through the horror.
This makes them poor victims.

To tell a bad joke
with a straight face,
one must master seriousness.

To live in a bad joke
with a straight face
one must master humor.

The Discordian wears many masks.

[Rococo Modem Basilisk]

so really dig what net did there, even if its not arial
but it inspired me to really build my word salads,
or juicy steaks i find  around the board
with the audience in mind.

that doesnt look like a block of text but IT IS

Word salads are totally underrated. I came across three totally new varieties of travesty generators the other day. If you manage to skim off the stuff that seems like it makes sense, it's instant content.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

so really dig what net did there, even if its not arial
but it inspired me to really build my word salads,
or juicy steaks i find  around the board
with the audience in mind.

that doesnt look like a block of text but IT IS

If you're talking about the "There is a danger to our nation flyer" you ought to know that TGRR wrote that.

Talk to him about using it. If you want the PDF for the flyer and TGRR's ghost gives the OK, I can supply it.

[the last yatto]

moved max and carol to a new page and added zalgo text... had to perfect it otherwise i got this error...


decided i liked wumpus, now that eurospagged it

[the last yatto]

[Telarus]

Fucking

[the last yatto]

I'd like to submit my story, Jury of Peers:

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/index.php?title=Jury_of_Peers

thats really long, like four pages plus...

any suggestions on edits, i think i can start it at

A cute, brown-haired girl climbed up onto the dock to confront him. This was usually where Travis would hit the button in his pocket and a burly security guard would arrive just in time to rough up some college kid with messy dreadlocks. Somehow, Travis didn't think this girl would threaten him physically. She stared fiercely at him, fury in her doe-brown eyes.

and not miss too much and that saves two pages... then again i liked the intro...
maybe i need to work the euro spag angle more and learn how to really push scribus

[Cramulus]

if it's too long as-is, it's cool to not use it

I didn't realize you were only looking for short submissions

[the last yatto]

if it's too long as-is, it's cool to not use it

how about to be continued on another page, this why i can mimic magazine like flow


also its a shame she isnt an elderly woman instead to match this image...
http://www.pdclipart.org/displayimage.php?album=38&pos=4

[the last yatto]

also two columns seems to work well too