OH, Arizona!

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

And no squid, beating a world record and appearing in media is WAY more important than feeding those that need food.

THIS IS WHY I CAN'T STAND HUMANS!  I'd rather skip rope with their INTESTINES than listen to ONE GODDAMN WORD that oozes out of their RANCID FAT FACES!  Being a Doktor is like being a receiving telepath who CAN'T SWITCH THE VOICES OFF!  Sparks fly off yer brain like you were Robby the Robot, losin' a battle with a rampaging ID!  Just a few minutes breathing MALL air with the humans and I BEGIN TO GET A RASH!  ITS AN ALLERGY!  Catapulting their PETS into their POOLS hasn't GOTTEN THE MESSAGE ACROSS!  They didn't get a CLUE when the dumptruck of spoiled SHRIMP was emptied onto their lawn!  All they did was BLUBBER when their Buick was replaced by a block of MY POOMP carved into the same shape!  They couldn't figure it out when 30 gallons of blue airplane poop was dropped onto their house from 30,000 feet!  What does it TAKE?

But Dok! It is their RIGHT and PRIVILEGE within a nation of FREEDOM to be as fat as they can be! You see, if we dare to critizice her RIGHT to do so, then its a slippery slope to TOTALITARISM, we can ONLY argue the extreme positions of FREEDOM or TOTALITARISM, because those are our only options and thats how the world works.

It is, actually.  You're either free or you're not.  There's no middle ground; there is no "semi-free".

Yes, i do agree with that.

What i was trying to imply is that we're conditioned (or maybe more Americans, im not sure) to think within the dichotomy of "free vs. not free" whereas one could think of "healthy vs. unhealthy" or say "how does this relate to other people locally or internationally?"

Americans actually think "freedom" means "gluttony", and not just with respect to food. 

For example, there are more ipods in America than there are in Mexico.  Ergo, we are free and you live in a banana republic.

You're not really free if the aircraft carrier you drive on the freeway every day gets more than 12 miles per gallon.

Freedom means supersizing.  It means UNLIMITED DATA.  It means TIVO or CDR, so you can watch ALL the CRAP you want, all day long.  It means the Certified Pre-Owned Lexus YOU deserve.  It means owing more money on your house, cars, and credit cards than the nation of Guatamala has in their national budget.  It means listening to Talk Radio, so you know what to think for yourself.  It means 5 gallon jugs of pickles at WalMart.  It means building a big stupid Goddamn fence on the Southern border of Arizona because ILLEGALS want to TAKE OUR STUFF.

It means supporting the troops, by getting as many of them maimed or killed as possible.  It means the American Legion, the Rotarians, the Tea Party, and Ayn Rand in your Christmas stocking.

We know all about Freedom™ up here, Johnny.  We invented it.

This is the most perfectly disgusting TRUTH I've read all months. And you know what? I'm sharing it out loud cause I know a few people that need to see/hear it.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

And no squid, beating a world record and appearing in media is WAY more important than feeding those that need food.

THIS IS WHY I CAN'T STAND HUMANS!  I'd rather skip rope with their INTESTINES than listen to ONE GODDAMN WORD that oozes out of their RANCID FAT FACES!  Being a Doktor is like being a receiving telepath who CAN'T SWITCH THE VOICES OFF!  Sparks fly off yer brain like you were Robby the Robot, losin' a battle with a rampaging ID!  Just a few minutes breathing MALL air with the humans and I BEGIN TO GET A RASH!  ITS AN ALLERGY!  Catapulting their PETS into their POOLS hasn't GOTTEN THE MESSAGE ACROSS!  They didn't get a CLUE when the dumptruck of spoiled SHRIMP was emptied onto their lawn!  All they did was BLUBBER when their Buick was replaced by a block of MY POOMP carved into the same shape!  They couldn't figure it out when 30 gallons of blue airplane poop was dropped onto their house from 30,000 feet!  What does it TAKE?

But Dok! It is their RIGHT and PRIVILEGE within a nation of FREEDOM to be as fat as they can be! You see, if we dare to critizice her RIGHT to do so, then its a slippery slope to TOTALITARISM, we can ONLY argue the extreme positions of FREEDOM or TOTALITARISM, because those are our only options and thats how the world works.

It is, actually.  You're either free or you're not.  There's no middle ground; there is no "semi-free".

Yes, i do agree with that.

What i was trying to imply is that we're conditioned (or maybe more Americans, im not sure) to think within the dichotomy of "free vs. not free" whereas one could think of "healthy vs. unhealthy" or say "how does this relate to other people locally or internationally?"

Americans actually think "freedom" means "gluttony", and not just with respect to food. 

For example, there are more ipods in America than there are in Mexico.  Ergo, we are free and you live in a banana republic.

You're not really free if the aircraft carrier you drive on the freeway every day gets more than 12 miles per gallon.

Freedom means supersizing.  It means UNLIMITED DATA.  It means TIVO or CDR, so you can watch ALL the CRAP you want, all day long.  It means the Certified Pre-Owned Lexus YOU deserve.  It means owing more money on your house, cars, and credit cards than the nation of Guatamala has in their national budget.  It means listening to Talk Radio, so you know what to think for yourself.  It means 5 gallon jugs of pickles at WalMart.  It means building a big stupid Goddamn fence on the Southern border of Arizona because ILLEGALS want to TAKE OUR STUFF.

It means supporting the troops, by getting as many of them maimed or killed as possible.  It means the American Legion, the Rotarians, the Tea Party, and Ayn Rand in your Christmas stocking.

We know all about Freedom™ up here, Johnny.  We invented it.

This is the most perfectly disgusting TRUTH I've read all months. And you know what? I'm sharing it out loud cause I know a few people that need to see/hear it.

Wow. That burns. With fire. I sorta want to spam all my political friends with that.

[Doktor Howl]

Go nuts.

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

OK, so... I like the whole kink scene.. so abuse is too strong a word.

But if you actually love someone, why would you damage their health and lifespan?

[Doktor Howl]

OK, so... I like the whole kink scene.. so abuse is too strong a word.

But if you actually love someone, why would you damage their health and lifespan?

BECAUSE TOMORROW NEVER COMES, PIXIE!  STOP HATING ON OUR WAY OF LIFE!

[Cain]

Guys.


THIRTY THOUSAND CALORIES A DAY

I've had three thousand calories in a day, and that's enough to make me feel bloated and sick.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

It's called an enabler.

He's an enabler.

[Doktor Howl]

It's called an enabler.

He's an enabler.

No, my wife is Enabler, remember?

[Cain]

And no squid, beating a world record and appearing in media is WAY more important than feeding those that need food.

THIS IS WHY I CAN'T STAND HUMANS!  I'd rather skip rope with their INTESTINES than listen to ONE GODDAMN WORD that oozes out of their RANCID FAT FACES!  Being a Doktor is like being a receiving telepath who CAN'T SWITCH THE VOICES OFF!  Sparks fly off yer brain like you were Robby the Robot, losin' a battle with a rampaging ID!  Just a few minutes breathing MALL air with the humans and I BEGIN TO GET A RASH!  ITS AN ALLERGY!  Catapulting their PETS into their POOLS hasn't GOTTEN THE MESSAGE ACROSS!  They didn't get a CLUE when the dumptruck of spoiled SHRIMP was emptied onto their lawn!  All they did was BLUBBER when their Buick was replaced by a block of MY POOMP carved into the same shape!  They couldn't figure it out when 30 gallons of blue airplane poop was dropped onto their house from 30,000 feet!  What does it TAKE?

But Dok! It is their RIGHT and PRIVILEGE within a nation of FREEDOM to be as fat as they can be! You see, if we dare to critizice her RIGHT to do so, then its a slippery slope to TOTALITARISM, we can ONLY argue the extreme positions of FREEDOM or TOTALITARISM, because those are our only options and thats how the world works.

It is, actually.  You're either free or you're not.  There's no middle ground; there is no "semi-free".

Yes, i do agree with that.

What i was trying to imply is that we're conditioned (or maybe more Americans, im not sure) to think within the dichotomy of "free vs. not free" whereas one could think of "healthy vs. unhealthy" or say "how does this relate to other people locally or internationally?"

Americans actually think "freedom" means "gluttony", and not just with respect to food. 

For example, there are more ipods in America than there are in Mexico.  Ergo, we are free and you live in a banana republic.

You're not really free if the aircraft carrier you drive on the freeway every day gets more than 12 miles per gallon.

Freedom means supersizing.  It means UNLIMITED DATA.  It means TIVO or CDR, so you can watch ALL the CRAP you want, all day long.  It means the Certified Pre-Owned Lexus YOU deserve.  It means owing more money on your house, cars, and credit cards than the nation of Guatamala has in their national budget.  It means listening to Talk Radio, so you know what to think for yourself.  It means 5 gallon jugs of pickles at WalMart.  It means building a big stupid Goddamn fence on the Southern border of Arizona because ILLEGALS want to TAKE OUR STUFF.

It means supporting the troops, by getting as many of them maimed or killed as possible.  It means the American Legion, the Rotarians, the Tea Party, and Ayn Rand in your Christmas stocking.

We know all about Freedom™ up here, Johnny.  We invented it.

Or to put it another way, Freedom also means the Freedom from being responsible for one's actions.

You can't tell me what to do, Michelle Obama!  I'm going to eat two cheeseburgers, just to prove you wrong.

[Doktor Howl]

And no squid, beating a world record and appearing in media is WAY more important than feeding those that need food.

THIS IS WHY I CAN'T STAND HUMANS!  I'd rather skip rope with their INTESTINES than listen to ONE GODDAMN WORD that oozes out of their RANCID FAT FACES!  Being a Doktor is like being a receiving telepath who CAN'T SWITCH THE VOICES OFF!  Sparks fly off yer brain like you were Robby the Robot, losin' a battle with a rampaging ID!  Just a few minutes breathing MALL air with the humans and I BEGIN TO GET A RASH!  ITS AN ALLERGY!  Catapulting their PETS into their POOLS hasn't GOTTEN THE MESSAGE ACROSS!  They didn't get a CLUE when the dumptruck of spoiled SHRIMP was emptied onto their lawn!  All they did was BLUBBER when their Buick was replaced by a block of MY POOMP carved into the same shape!  They couldn't figure it out when 30 gallons of blue airplane poop was dropped onto their house from 30,000 feet!  What does it TAKE?

But Dok! It is their RIGHT and PRIVILEGE within a nation of FREEDOM to be as fat as they can be! You see, if we dare to critizice her RIGHT to do so, then its a slippery slope to TOTALITARISM, we can ONLY argue the extreme positions of FREEDOM or TOTALITARISM, because those are our only options and thats how the world works.

It is, actually.  You're either free or you're not.  There's no middle ground; there is no "semi-free".

Yes, i do agree with that.

What i was trying to imply is that we're conditioned (or maybe more Americans, im not sure) to think within the dichotomy of "free vs. not free" whereas one could think of "healthy vs. unhealthy" or say "how does this relate to other people locally or internationally?"

Americans actually think "freedom" means "gluttony", and not just with respect to food. 

For example, there are more ipods in America than there are in Mexico.  Ergo, we are free and you live in a banana republic.

You're not really free if the aircraft carrier you drive on the freeway every day gets more than 12 miles per gallon.

Freedom means supersizing.  It means UNLIMITED DATA.  It means TIVO or CDR, so you can watch ALL the CRAP you want, all day long.  It means the Certified Pre-Owned Lexus YOU deserve.  It means owing more money on your house, cars, and credit cards than the nation of Guatamala has in their national budget.  It means listening to Talk Radio, so you know what to think for yourself.  It means 5 gallon jugs of pickles at WalMart.  It means building a big stupid Goddamn fence on the Southern border of Arizona because ILLEGALS want to TAKE OUR STUFF.

It means supporting the troops, by getting as many of them maimed or killed as possible.  It means the American Legion, the Rotarians, the Tea Party, and Ayn Rand in your Christmas stocking.

We know all about Freedom™ up here, Johnny.  We invented it.

Or to put it another way, Freedom also means the Freedom from being responsible for one's actions.

You can't tell me what to do, Michelle Obama!  I'm going to eat two cheeseburgers, just to prove you wrong.

DAMN STRAIGHT!

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

It's called an enabler.

He's an enabler.

Yea, this is the point I was getting at. People can carry weight and still be healthy, but massive fluctuation, like this stupid biggest bride in the world thing, will put strain on her health.

[P3nT4gR4m]

OK, so... I like the whole kink scene.. so abuse is too strong a word.

But if you actually love someone, why would you damage their health and lifespan?

I roll cigarettes and joints for P3nTGF all the time. Degrees of scale. Don't be too hard on one man and his blimp just cos they TOOK IT TO THE WALL

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

OK, so... I like the whole kink scene.. so abuse is too strong a word.

But if you actually love someone, why would you damage their health and lifespan?

I roll cigarettes and joints for P3nTGF all the time. Degrees of scale. Don't be too hard on one man and his blimp just cos they TOOK IT TO THE WALL

yea, I guess.

[P3nT4gR4m]

One of the things about extreme is that most people freak when they see it. Same goes for setting yourself on fire and jumping across a canyon on a motorbike, same goes for eating so much pretty much everyone in a five mile radius can smell you. It freaks people out, it gets their backs up, it make them outraged and angry and tough shit for them, so long as it doesn't cause a murder.

So jabba might die before her 950th birthday. So what? I'm getting to the stage where every single joint, ligament and muscle in my body is absolute fucking agony, pretty much constantly. I got no one to blame but myself but I'm cool with that. Another decade or so and the pain will be so bad I won't be able to walk. At that point I will prolly just booze and pills myself to death. I won't live to be 70, that's for sure. Til then I will continue to engage in the kind of pursuits that pretty much guarantees this outcome, knowing full well that if I want to grow up to be a million I should stop right now. That's my choice. Fuck you if it offends your delicate sensitivities.

[Don Coyote]

Guys.


THIRTY THOUSAND CALORIES A DAY

I've had three thousand calories in a day, and that's enough to make me feel bloated and sick.

That is because you are not an American Cain. You have the wrong glands.