Conquest of the Planet of the Bride of the Son of the Return of the Open Bar

[Luna]

I, however, have developed a wonderfur meta self, in where I realize I am naught but a brute, and therefore develop a secondary personality which does its best to countermand my base impulses when dealing with a female I wish to bone hard and long have a respectful and meaningful relationship bone hard and long.

This leads to a self-imposed cognitive dissonance, where I often act in bizarre and unexpected ways as I try to act the way I think she wants me to act, which is often completely wrong.


Roger has the superior Way.  Obvioulsy.

I just know who and what I am.

I am not stupid, but I am a fool.  I love women in general terms, and I go partially concussed when I am around them.  When I am around a woman I love in specific terms, I go completely brain damaged...By which I mean, my motivations on any given subject are very simple and very obvious.  This leads people to think there's something going on under the surface.

But there isn't.  There's just The Good Reverend Doktor Roger Howl jamming his head into the future, to see what will happen.

It sounds goofy, but it's a winning strategy for happiness.  And slightly elevated medical expenses.

Well, this one I have (or thought I had) is confusing the fuck out of me. He ought to take a lesson from your book.

All he has to do is let me know that he wants to put his penis in me, and I'm there.

Having met you, it is obvious that the confusion isn't on YOUR part.

Diagnosis:  HE'S A FUCKING MORON.

Proposed treatment:  Roofie him up.  Alternatively, go find a guy who isn't stone blind and brainsmashed.

As a FUCKING MORON with a demonstrable history of not knowing a woman is into me after signals up to and including being slapped around and told "I HAVE A THING FOR YOU, YOU DIPSHIT" I say give the guy a chance.

ROOFIES IT IS, THEN!

Ugh, Nigel, I HATE it when they're stupid.  You drive yourself bugshit crazy trying to figure out if they're stupid, playing stupid because they don't want to hope you're interested, or playing stupid because they AREN'T interested and don't want to make things awkward by saying it.

No advice, here, because shit like that never works out for me.

[Cainad (dec.)]

New work: HURRAH!

NYEX: LAMESAUCE!

New Guy: HURRAH!

Commute: LAMESAUCE!


Overall score: FUCK ALL THAT OTHER SHIT, HURRAH!

[Luna]

Life update, in case anybody cares...

Been working, the job went from temp to honest-to-god-full-time last month, which is awesome, and means that in a couple months, I get benefits like paid time off, holidays, and insurance and stuff.  (I have decided that, even though I could make the NYEX continue to keep me on his insurance, I want my own damn insurance, and the ability to pick my own coverage, rather than depend on whatever stupidity he has decided on.)

Still an NYEX, fucker still hasn't bothered to file the paperwork, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna pay to do it.  He drags it out much longer, he's gonna be explaining to their kid why Mommy and Daddy aren't actually married.  (Yeah, they spawned.)

Have been seeing the new guy for just over a year now...  Feels like no time at all...  Or forever...  I'm calling that an awesome thing.  (He bought me a TARDIS cookie jar, with Jammy Dodgers and Jelly Babies for our anniversary.  I'm a geek, I teared up.)

Commute to and from work is still an hour and a half or so each way, I'm giving some thought to moving at least a little closer... but work is close to Boston, so anything even remotely close has Boston suburb prices, I might as well cut my own throat.  Gonna catch up on the bills, save up for the first month/last month/security, and look around, see what's what.  Need to at least shift out of RI and into MA so I'm only paying taxes in one state.

YAY!

KILL THE OLD ONE, KEEP THE NEW ONE!

New work: HURRAH!

NYEX: LAMESAUCE!

New Guy: HURRAH!

Commute: LAMESAUCE!


Overall score: FUCK ALL THAT OTHER SHIT, HURRAH!

Yep, overall score, yay!

Also, bigass tree from the front of the house (which I loved, and which immediately started to die when NYEX and I bought the place) decided, during the winter storms, to fall on the house.  Mother Nature took a shot, but apparently didn't have enough oomph behind it to actually bust through the roof, and didn't have enough aim to take out the NYEX or the Homewrecking Fuckmuppet.

I've gotta call the homeowner's insurance company (I'm still on the policy), and make sure that my name is on the settlement check...  Tell the asshole that if he wants the check signed, I want the filing papers in my hand BEFORE I touch the pen.  (Though, odds are, they're just going to pay whoever fixes it directly and I have no leverage, but I can find out.)

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Homewrecking Fuckmuppet.

I just sharted.  For real.   

[Luna]

Homewrecking Fuckmuppet.

I just sharted.  For real.   

In the almost a year between when I found out about her and I moved out, he used to get all sorts of bitchy when I referred to her as the "slut" or "whore."  I amused myself coming up with things which included neither of those words.  The above was one of my favorites, I came up with it shortly before I moved out, and, regrettably, have never had the opportunity to use to his (or her) face.

I'm saving it for a special occasion.

I swear to all that's holy, though, she's got Kermit the Frog's mouth, and, on many photos, the same "somebody's got his whole hand up my ass" bugged-out eyes.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Homewrecking Fuckmuppet.

I just sharted.  For real.   

In the almost a year between when I found out about her and I moved out, he used to get all sorts of bitchy when I referred to her as the "slut" or "whore."  I amused myself coming up with things which included neither of those words.  The above was one of my favorites, I came up with it shortly before I moved out, and, regrettably, have never had the opportunity to use to his (or her) face.

I'm saving it for a special occasion.

I swear to all that's holy, though, she's got Kermit the Frog's mouth, and, on many photos, the same "somebody's got his whole hand up my ass" bugged-out eyes.

I wouldn't.  The best revenge is living well.  You are doing well right now.  You haven't fallen all to pieces, and if you think his dragging his feet on the paperwork is just laziness, then you don't understand the male brain.

He honestly thinks he could get you back if he decided to.  No shit.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Hi Luna! You wanna get in on the cookie madness?

[Luna]

Hi Luna! You wanna get in on the cookie madness?

Cookies??  I LOVE cookies!

Haven't read back everything I missed, how do I get in?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Hi Luna! You wanna get in on the cookie madness?

Cookies??  I LOVE cookies!

Haven't read back everything I missed, how do I get in?

POST IN THE DRUG THREAD, DOWN IN THE POLITICAL BOARD.

[Luna]

Homewrecking Fuckmuppet.

I just sharted.  For real.   

In the almost a year between when I found out about her and I moved out, he used to get all sorts of bitchy when I referred to her as the "slut" or "whore."  I amused myself coming up with things which included neither of those words.  The above was one of my favorites, I came up with it shortly before I moved out, and, regrettably, have never had the opportunity to use to his (or her) face.

I'm saving it for a special occasion.

I swear to all that's holy, though, she's got Kermit the Frog's mouth, and, on many photos, the same "somebody's got his whole hand up my ass" bugged-out eyes.

I wouldn't.  The best revenge is living well.  You are doing well right now.  You haven't fallen all to pieces, and if you think his dragging his feet on the paperwork is just laziness, then you don't understand the male brain.

He honestly thinks he could get you back if he decided to.  No shit.

I'm doing just fucking awesome right now.

If he's dumb enough to think he can get me back if he decided to, he's dumb enough to...  Well, dumb enough to think he could get away with the shit he pulled in the first place.  Yeah, I see your point.

I'm making an official request that, should I ever become brain-damaged enough to even CONSIDER going back, somebody kindly come and beat me over the head until I regain my sanity, or my brains leak out.  Whichever.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

PM me your address, too.

[Luna]

PM me your address, too.

Done did.     Double check before shipping, am considering moving to be closer to both work and regular source of happyfunsexytimes.

[Luna]

PM me your address, too.

Done did.     Double check before shipping, am considering moving to be closer to both work and regular source of happyfunsexytimes.

Speaking of which...     I'm off, but will be back more often.

[Freeky]

So, a guy who I was having a thing with had a seizure and lost all memory of the thing. 

That's a thing.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

That's a kind of terrible thing. That makes my feet hurting seem pretty weaksauce.