News:

I know you said that you wouldn't tolerate excuses, but I have a real good one.

Main Menu

Conquest of the Planet of the Bride of the Son of the Return of the Open Bar

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, March 08, 2013, 09:32:33 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Sita on April 08, 2013, 06:12:44 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 08, 2013, 06:03:33 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 08, 2013, 05:12:11 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 08, 2013, 05:06:37 AM
Boys are so confusing.

SO CONFUSING.

Sigh.

Nope.  We're pretty damn simple, actually.  Just whack us with a rolled up newspaper once a day, throw us something resembling food, and don't get TOO upset when we piddle on the carpet.

You are simple to YOU, because all of your completely mysterious thought processes appear obvious FROM THE INSIDE.

From the outside, I don't fucking understand anything you people do. YOU MAKE NO SENSE.
(Most) men make sense to me.
It's (most) women I can't understand for the life of me.

Good for you. Come tell me what the deal is with this guy I'm seeing.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 08, 2013, 06:03:33 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 08, 2013, 05:12:11 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 08, 2013, 05:06:37 AM
Boys are so confusing.

SO CONFUSING.

Sigh.

Nope.  We're pretty damn simple, actually.  Just whack us with a rolled up newspaper once a day, throw us something resembling food, and don't get TOO upset when we piddle on the carpet.

You are simple to YOU, because all of your completely mysterious thought processes appear obvious FROM THE INSIDE.

From the outside, I don't fucking understand anything you people do. YOU MAKE NO SENSE.

Our behavior is simple to the observer.  We are precisely as we appear to be.  Beneath our shallow exteriors lie an enormous lack of intelligent thought.

We are DERP.  Women look for motivations and thought processes that aren't there.

I speak with authority here.  I am a male, I have been a male all of my life, and I am dumb as a bag of pig iron.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

I, however, have developed a wonderfur meta self, in where I realize I am naught but a brute, and therefore develop a secondary personality which does its best to countermand my base impulses when dealing with a female I wish to bone hard and long have a respectful and meaningful relationship bone hard and long.

This leads to a self-imposed cognitive dissonance, where I often act in bizarre and unexpected ways as I try to act the way I think she wants me to act, which is often completely wrong.


Roger has the superior Way.  Obvioulsy.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 08, 2013, 06:45:33 PM
I, however, have developed a wonderfur meta self, in where I realize I am naught but a brute, and therefore develop a secondary personality which does its best to countermand my base impulses when dealing with a female I wish to bone hard and long have a respectful and meaningful relationship bone hard and long.

This leads to a self-imposed cognitive dissonance, where I often act in bizarre and unexpected ways as I try to act the way I think she wants me to act, which is often completely wrong.


Roger has the superior Way.  Obvioulsy.

I just know who and what I am.

I am not stupid, but I am a fool.  I love women in general terms, and I go partially concussed when I am around them.  When I am around a woman I love in specific terms, I go completely brain damaged...By which I mean, my motivations on any given subject are very simple and very obvious.  This leads people to think there's something going on under the surface.

But there isn't.  There's just The Good Reverend Doktor Roger Howl jamming his head into the future, to see what will happen.

It sounds goofy, but it's a winning strategy for happiness.  And slightly elevated medical expenses.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

tyrannosaurus vex

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 08, 2013, 06:20:00 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 08, 2013, 06:03:33 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 08, 2013, 05:12:11 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 08, 2013, 05:06:37 AM
Boys are so confusing.

SO CONFUSING.

Sigh.

Nope.  We're pretty damn simple, actually.  Just whack us with a rolled up newspaper once a day, throw us something resembling food, and don't get TOO upset when we piddle on the carpet.

You are simple to YOU, because all of your completely mysterious thought processes appear obvious FROM THE INSIDE.

From the outside, I don't fucking understand anything you people do. YOU MAKE NO SENSE.

Our behavior is simple to the observer.  We are precisely as we appear to be.  Beneath our shallow exteriors lie an enormous lack of intelligent thought.

We are DERP.  Women look for motivations and thought processes that aren't there.

I speak with authority here.  I am a male, I have been a male all of my life, and I am dumb as a bag of pig iron.

To illustrate, last night I was lost in thought and completely missed three different things my wife said to me. Finally, exasperated, she demanded to know what I was thinking about, and (for once) I told her the honest-to-god truth:

"Huh? Oh. I was thinking of all the ways a pitchfork is like a regular table fork."

This, she took to be me fucking with her or refusing to answer the question, but that wasn't the case. In fact that one train of thought actually did occupy my brain to the point that it was unable to process external stimuli like the sound of her voice coming at me.
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 08, 2013, 06:45:33 PM
I, however, have developed a wonderfur meta self, in where I realize I am naught but a brute, and therefore develop a secondary personality which does its best to countermand my base impulses when dealing with a female I wish to bone hard and long have a respectful and meaningful relationship bone hard and long.

This leads to a self-imposed cognitive dissonance, where I often act in bizarre and unexpected ways as I try to act the way I think she wants me to act, which is often completely wrong.


Roger has the superior Way.  Obvioulsy.

  :lulz: I'm kind of hoping that's what's going on, here.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 08, 2013, 06:53:32 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 08, 2013, 06:45:33 PM
I, however, have developed a wonderfur meta self, in where I realize I am naught but a brute, and therefore develop a secondary personality which does its best to countermand my base impulses when dealing with a female I wish to bone hard and long have a respectful and meaningful relationship bone hard and long.

This leads to a self-imposed cognitive dissonance, where I often act in bizarre and unexpected ways as I try to act the way I think she wants me to act, which is often completely wrong.


Roger has the superior Way.  Obvioulsy.

I just know who and what I am.

I am not stupid, but I am a fool.  I love women in general terms, and I go partially concussed when I am around them.  When I am around a woman I love in specific terms, I go completely brain damaged...By which I mean, my motivations on any given subject are very simple and very obvious.  This leads people to think there's something going on under the surface.

But there isn't.  There's just The Good Reverend Doktor Roger Howl jamming his head into the future, to see what will happen.

It sounds goofy, but it's a winning strategy for happiness.  And slightly elevated medical expenses.

Well, this one I have (or thought I had) is confusing the fuck out of me. He ought to take a lesson from your book.

All he has to do is let me know that he wants to put his penis in me, and I'm there.

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Pope Pixie Pickle

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 09, 2013, 01:39:48 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 08, 2013, 06:53:32 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 08, 2013, 06:45:33 PM
I, however, have developed a wonderfur meta self, in where I realize I am naught but a brute, and therefore develop a secondary personality which does its best to countermand my base impulses when dealing with a female I wish to bone hard and long have a respectful and meaningful relationship bone hard and long.

This leads to a self-imposed cognitive dissonance, where I often act in bizarre and unexpected ways as I try to act the way I think she wants me to act, which is often completely wrong.


Roger has the superior Way.  Obvioulsy.

I just know who and what I am.

I am not stupid, but I am a fool.  I love women in general terms, and I go partially concussed when I am around them.  When I am around a woman I love in specific terms, I go completely brain damaged...By which I mean, my motivations on any given subject are very simple and very obvious.  This leads people to think there's something going on under the surface.

But there isn't.  There's just The Good Reverend Doktor Roger Howl jamming his head into the future, to see what will happen.

It sounds goofy, but it's a winning strategy for happiness.  And slightly elevated medical expenses.

Well, this one I have (or thought I had) is confusing the fuck out of me. He ought to take a lesson from your book.

All he has to do is let me know that he wants to put his penis in me, and I'm there.

ask him if he wants an invite to the party in your pance.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 09, 2013, 01:39:48 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 08, 2013, 06:53:32 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 08, 2013, 06:45:33 PM
I, however, have developed a wonderfur meta self, in where I realize I am naught but a brute, and therefore develop a secondary personality which does its best to countermand my base impulses when dealing with a female I wish to bone hard and long have a respectful and meaningful relationship bone hard and long.

This leads to a self-imposed cognitive dissonance, where I often act in bizarre and unexpected ways as I try to act the way I think she wants me to act, which is often completely wrong.


Roger has the superior Way.  Obvioulsy.

I just know who and what I am.

I am not stupid, but I am a fool.  I love women in general terms, and I go partially concussed when I am around them.  When I am around a woman I love in specific terms, I go completely brain damaged...By which I mean, my motivations on any given subject are very simple and very obvious.  This leads people to think there's something going on under the surface.

But there isn't.  There's just The Good Reverend Doktor Roger Howl jamming his head into the future, to see what will happen.

It sounds goofy, but it's a winning strategy for happiness.  And slightly elevated medical expenses.

Well, this one I have (or thought I had) is confusing the fuck out of me. He ought to take a lesson from your book.

All he has to do is let me know that he wants to put his penis in me, and I'm there.

Having met you, it is obvious that the confusion isn't on YOUR part.

Diagnosis:  HE'S A FUCKING MORON.

Proposed treatment:  Roofie him up.  Alternatively, go find a guy who isn't stone blind and brainsmashed.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Luna

On a completely unrelated note, Roger, where the blazes did you find that avatar?  It gives me a horrible case of the WTFROFLs whenever I see it... which created some really odd brainsmashes while reading LOBB.   :lol:
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Eater of Clowns

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 09, 2013, 02:38:08 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 09, 2013, 01:39:48 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 08, 2013, 06:53:32 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 08, 2013, 06:45:33 PM
I, however, have developed a wonderfur meta self, in where I realize I am naught but a brute, and therefore develop a secondary personality which does its best to countermand my base impulses when dealing with a female I wish to bone hard and long have a respectful and meaningful relationship bone hard and long.

This leads to a self-imposed cognitive dissonance, where I often act in bizarre and unexpected ways as I try to act the way I think she wants me to act, which is often completely wrong.


Roger has the superior Way.  Obvioulsy.

I just know who and what I am.

I am not stupid, but I am a fool.  I love women in general terms, and I go partially concussed when I am around them.  When I am around a woman I love in specific terms, I go completely brain damaged...By which I mean, my motivations on any given subject are very simple and very obvious.  This leads people to think there's something going on under the surface.

But there isn't.  There's just The Good Reverend Doktor Roger Howl jamming his head into the future, to see what will happen.

It sounds goofy, but it's a winning strategy for happiness.  And slightly elevated medical expenses.

Well, this one I have (or thought I had) is confusing the fuck out of me. He ought to take a lesson from your book.

All he has to do is let me know that he wants to put his penis in me, and I'm there.

Having met you, it is obvious that the confusion isn't on YOUR part.

Diagnosis:  HE'S A FUCKING MORON.

Proposed treatment:  Roofie him up.  Alternatively, go find a guy who isn't stone blind and brainsmashed.

As a FUCKING MORON with a demonstrable history of not knowing a woman is into me after signals up to and including being slapped around and told "I HAVE A THING FOR YOU, YOU DIPSHIT" I say give the guy a chance.
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on April 09, 2013, 03:00:21 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 09, 2013, 02:38:08 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 09, 2013, 01:39:48 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 08, 2013, 06:53:32 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 08, 2013, 06:45:33 PM
I, however, have developed a wonderfur meta self, in where I realize I am naught but a brute, and therefore develop a secondary personality which does its best to countermand my base impulses when dealing with a female I wish to bone hard and long have a respectful and meaningful relationship bone hard and long.

This leads to a self-imposed cognitive dissonance, where I often act in bizarre and unexpected ways as I try to act the way I think she wants me to act, which is often completely wrong.


Roger has the superior Way.  Obvioulsy.

I just know who and what I am.

I am not stupid, but I am a fool.  I love women in general terms, and I go partially concussed when I am around them.  When I am around a woman I love in specific terms, I go completely brain damaged...By which I mean, my motivations on any given subject are very simple and very obvious.  This leads people to think there's something going on under the surface.

But there isn't.  There's just The Good Reverend Doktor Roger Howl jamming his head into the future, to see what will happen.

It sounds goofy, but it's a winning strategy for happiness.  And slightly elevated medical expenses.

Well, this one I have (or thought I had) is confusing the fuck out of me. He ought to take a lesson from your book.

All he has to do is let me know that he wants to put his penis in me, and I'm there.

Having met you, it is obvious that the confusion isn't on YOUR part.

Diagnosis:  HE'S A FUCKING MORON.

Proposed treatment:  Roofie him up.  Alternatively, go find a guy who isn't stone blind and brainsmashed.

As a FUCKING MORON with a demonstrable history of not knowing a woman is into me after signals up to and including being slapped around and told "I HAVE A THING FOR YOU, YOU DIPSHIT" I say give the guy a chance.

ROOFIES IT IS, THEN!
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Luna on April 09, 2013, 02:54:24 AM
On a completely unrelated note, Roger, where the blazes did you find that avatar?  It gives me a horrible case of the WTFROFLs whenever I see it... which created some really odd brainsmashes while reading LOBB.   :lol:

Found it on my hard drive.  No idea where I got it.

I like it, though.  Vader seems to be having such a good time.  He doesn't get that very often.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Luna

Life update, in case anybody cares...

Been working, the job went from temp to honest-to-god-full-time last month, which is awesome, and means that in a couple months, I get benefits like paid time off, holidays, and insurance and stuff.  (I have decided that, even though I could make the NYEX continue to keep me on his insurance, I want my own damn insurance, and the ability to pick my own coverage, rather than depend on whatever stupidity he has decided on.)

Still an NYEX, fucker still hasn't bothered to file the paperwork, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna pay to do it.  He drags it out much longer, he's gonna be explaining to their kid why Mommy and Daddy aren't actually married.  (Yeah, they spawned.)

Have been seeing the new guy for just over a year now...  Feels like no time at all...  Or forever...  I'm calling that an awesome thing.  (He bought me a TARDIS cookie jar, with Jammy Dodgers and Jelly Babies for our anniversary.  I'm a geek, I teared up.)

Commute to and from work is still an hour and a half or so each way, I'm giving some thought to moving at least a little closer... but work is close to Boston, so anything even remotely close has Boston suburb prices, I might as well cut my own throat.  Gonna catch up on the bills, save up for the first month/last month/security, and look around, see what's what.  Need to at least shift out of RI and into MA so I'm only paying taxes in one state.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Luna on April 09, 2013, 03:03:48 AM
Life update, in case anybody cares...

Been working, the job went from temp to honest-to-god-full-time last month, which is awesome, and means that in a couple months, I get benefits like paid time off, holidays, and insurance and stuff.  (I have decided that, even though I could make the NYEX continue to keep me on his insurance, I want my own damn insurance, and the ability to pick my own coverage, rather than depend on whatever stupidity he has decided on.)

Still an NYEX, fucker still hasn't bothered to file the paperwork, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna pay to do it.  He drags it out much longer, he's gonna be explaining to their kid why Mommy and Daddy aren't actually married.  (Yeah, they spawned.)

Have been seeing the new guy for just over a year now...  Feels like no time at all...  Or forever...  I'm calling that an awesome thing.  (He bought me a TARDIS cookie jar, with Jammy Dodgers and Jelly Babies for our anniversary.  I'm a geek, I teared up.)

Commute to and from work is still an hour and a half or so each way, I'm giving some thought to moving at least a little closer... but work is close to Boston, so anything even remotely close has Boston suburb prices, I might as well cut my own throat.  Gonna catch up on the bills, save up for the first month/last month/security, and look around, see what's what.  Need to at least shift out of RI and into MA so I'm only paying taxes in one state.

YAY!

KILL THE OLD ONE, KEEP THE NEW ONE!
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.