Have you got, like, assburgers or some shit?
Honest question, I like you, you seem quite self aware and able to take shit on board. Then, suddenly and for no apparent reason, you go full-retard. What gives?
No...not assburgers.
Possibly bipolar. For example, right now, I'm in a sort of mood that's complacent and willing to discuss things with civility with you. Other times, I may be in the sort of mood that makes it such that simply contradicting someone's viewpoint (regardless of whether I agree with it or not) seems like the most hilarious joke on the planet which simply
must be perpetrated.
Combine extremes of mood throughout the day with diametrically opposed facets within my worldview, and you end up with a guy who will engage in self-reflection and be truely decent and empathetic in one thread/timeframe/state of mind, and then turn into a militant neo-nazi seeking to simply make people's lives a living hell for fun when the mood changes.
On a good note, though, it's very cathartic. I end up pissing people off with the worst of myself, and then I end up being confronted with "dude, you're a fuckin' dickhead" and it really makes me have to think long and hard about what the fuck is going on with my brain, with my world views, and with other little things too...
Regardless, it's no excuse for me to waltz into your community and shit on it for lulz or catharsis or whatever. It almost like I've derailed every thread I've walked into, and I've pissed alot of people off...and not likely to their benefit either, so it all ends up with 100% profit for myself and everyone else being completely annoyed by my rantings. Right now, I'm willing to say sorry about it, but in 12 hours -- or even just a thread or two over -- I'm probably going to be spouting annoyances again.
Still, I'm working on things -- afterall, what I said to nigel wasn't 100% sarcasm. The whole deal about "persistent identity" is somewhat true. I'm used to communicating anonymously -- devoid of personal responsibility or even the need to support the same stream of logic so long as I can abandon it and switch to something that will recieve more positive social strokes. Having to communicate as an individual human being and not simply a sinlge-meme entity is literally an alien concept as to how I'm used to the internet. Again, excuses suck, but hey -- you asked for insight into my though processes, so here you go.
lel...the whole situation makes me think I chose my user name all those years ago for a good reason, though...