Author Topic: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)  (Read 10775 times)

chaotic neutral observer

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #180 on: September 30, 2018, 07:12:19 pm »
Don't try to fool me.  You captured a gelatinous cube.

This is more like an ochre jelly.  That's poisonous.  And might explode.

Conditions are different from the London sewers, and if you want, I can tell you how this could potentially kill us all.  By "us" I of course mean myself, my crew, and a pack of blue hairs.

I'm interested.  I have a fascination with subterranean horrors.

Doktor Howl

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #181 on: September 30, 2018, 08:25:30 pm »
Don't try to fool me.  You captured a gelatinous cube.

This is more like an ochre jelly.  That's poisonous.  And might explode.

Conditions are different from the London sewers, and if you want, I can tell you how this could potentially kill us all.  By "us" I of course mean myself, my crew, and a pack of blue hairs.

I'm interested.  I have a fascination with subterranean horrors.

Well, the blob, when sufficient large, will begin to heat up in the center.  Just a few degrees, but that's all that is required.  The center of the blob will pull oxygen from the outside and start forming diesel-like hydrocarbons.  The outer layers, starved of oxygen, start growing anaerobes (tetanus, gangrene, various sulfur-reducing bugs, etc).  Water is, by osmosis, pulled from all sides and deposited directly beneath the fatberg.  Here that means it dissolves the caliche beneath it (which is added to the fatberg as white chunks of calcium and sodium), which means it sinks over time.  When it reaches bedrock, it stops moving and starts pressurizing.  Eventually, the center diesels and you get a pressurized scalding hot geyser of unkillable fatal prehistoric bacteria.  (The fatbergs of London don't have the same problem because they are in tunnels and have room on either end to expand.)

No matter where you go, if you peel back the vinyl, it's nothing but horror, madness, and death.
"Don't get me wrong, I greatly appreciate the fact that you're at least putting effort into sincerely arguing your points. It's an argument I've enjoyed having. It's just that your points are wrong and your reasons for thinking they're right are stupid."
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"NOTHING IS AS BAD AS IT SEEMS.  BUT YOU'RE STILL FUCKED."
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chaotic neutral observer

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #182 on: October 01, 2018, 01:11:30 am »
Well, the blob, when sufficient large, will begin to heat up in the center.  Just a few degrees, but that's all that is required.  The center of the blob will pull oxygen from the outside and start forming diesel-like hydrocarbons.  The outer layers, starved of oxygen, start growing anaerobes (tetanus, gangrene, various sulfur-reducing bugs, etc).  Water is, by osmosis, pulled from all sides and deposited directly beneath the fatberg.  Here that means it dissolves the caliche beneath it (which is added to the fatberg as white chunks of calcium and sodium), which means it sinks over time.  When it reaches bedrock, it stops moving and starts pressurizing.  Eventually, the center diesels and you get a pressurized scalding hot geyser of unkillable fatal prehistoric bacteria.  (The fatbergs of London don't have the same problem because they are in tunnels and have room on either end to expand.)

No matter where you go, if you peel back the vinyl, it's nothing but horror, madness, and death.
Part of me is wondering how hard it would be to intentionally grow one of these.  You know, FOR SCIENCE.

But the saner part recalls that plumbing (and garbage collection) are the basis of modern civilization, and that things like this should be reserved for post-apocalyptic fiction, and kept out of the waking world.

Cain

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #183 on: October 01, 2018, 01:34:02 am »
I keep hoping a fatberg will eat Parliament one day

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #184 on: October 01, 2018, 03:54:09 am »
Well, the blob, when sufficient large, will begin to heat up in the center.  Just a few degrees, but that's all that is required.  The center of the blob will pull oxygen from the outside and start forming diesel-like hydrocarbons.  The outer layers, starved of oxygen, start growing anaerobes (tetanus, gangrene, various sulfur-reducing bugs, etc).  Water is, by osmosis, pulled from all sides and deposited directly beneath the fatberg.  Here that means it dissolves the caliche beneath it (which is added to the fatberg as white chunks of calcium and sodium), which means it sinks over time.  When it reaches bedrock, it stops moving and starts pressurizing.  Eventually, the center diesels and you get a pressurized scalding hot geyser of unkillable fatal prehistoric bacteria.  (The fatbergs of London don't have the same problem because they are in tunnels and have room on either end to expand.)

No matter where you go, if you peel back the vinyl, it's nothing but horror, madness, and death.
Part of me is wondering how hard it would be to intentionally grow one of these.  You know, FOR SCIENCE.

But the saner part recalls that plumbing (and garbage collection) are the basis of modern civilization, and that things like this should be reserved for post-apocalyptic fiction, and kept out of the waking world.

This is what I tell hippies when they run around screaming that we can grow food for 17 billion people, so "overpopulation isn't a thing."

They are in fact correct, we can grow that much food.  But we can only eliminate waste for 2 billion people, and we have 7.6 billion people and we add 200 net new people a minute.
"Don't get me wrong, I greatly appreciate the fact that you're at least putting effort into sincerely arguing your points. It's an argument I've enjoyed having. It's just that your points are wrong and your reasons for thinking they're right are stupid."
- Cainad

"NOTHING IS AS BAD AS IT SEEMS.  BUT YOU'RE STILL FUCKED."
- Dirty Old Uncle Roger

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #185 on: October 01, 2018, 03:54:40 am »
I keep hoping a fatberg will eat Parliament one day

<insert Boris Johnson joke here>
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- Dirty Old Uncle Roger

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #186 on: October 03, 2018, 06:33:50 am »
*watching Riverdance rehearsal at the theater*

*dancer falls off of stage*

Billy:  "Ouch."

Me:  "It's a great day to be alive, Billy."

I was re-reading this and this is still my favorite thing I've ever said.
"Don't get me wrong, I greatly appreciate the fact that you're at least putting effort into sincerely arguing your points. It's an argument I've enjoyed having. It's just that your points are wrong and your reasons for thinking they're right are stupid."
- Cainad

"NOTHING IS AS BAD AS IT SEEMS.  BUT YOU'RE STILL FUCKED."
- Dirty Old Uncle Roger

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #187 on: October 05, 2018, 07:34:49 pm »
So I was asked today at the board coffee if I thought the recent bond measure sounded realistic (ie, expect 50+ basis points on AA bonds without any funny business.).

Me:  "In what universe?  This is madness."

Board president:  "That's a little extreme."

Me:  "No, this is drug-addled nonsense that makes 2006 look reasonable.  Has nobody noticed the massive bubble we're sitting on?  Yes, going to TOTALLY NOT JUNK BONDS, INC" is brilliant and has absolutely no downsides."

Finance Committee Chair:  "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, YOU PUNK."

Me:  "Obviously not.  I can't see that the gap between GDP and wages is the largest it's ever been in history.  I can't see that AA bonds return 25 basis points and the broker is taking 50 basis points and we will somehow poop out 75 basis points without turning to dodgy bonds."

Crowd:  *murmer*

Board President:  "This IS actually stupid as hell."

Finance Committee Chair:  "I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THIS."

Me:  "Whether or not you have to take anything is outside of my job description, really.  AND I don't have to worry about this entire town looking to tar and feather me in 6 months."

Crowd:  *rumble rumble*

Me:  "I have to go now, I have a thing."

Board President:  "You can't leave right after saying that stuff."

Me:  "I have a thing behind the small restaurant.  You know, the thing I'm not supposed to talk about."

Crowd:  "ROBBLE ROBBLE ROBBLE*

Board President:  "You should be glad I'm quitting tomorrow, get out."
"Don't get me wrong, I greatly appreciate the fact that you're at least putting effort into sincerely arguing your points. It's an argument I've enjoyed having. It's just that your points are wrong and your reasons for thinking they're right are stupid."
- Cainad

"NOTHING IS AS BAD AS IT SEEMS.  BUT YOU'RE STILL FUCKED."
- Dirty Old Uncle Roger

chaotic neutral observer

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #188 on: October 07, 2018, 04:00:16 am »
Quote from: Doktor Howl
Me:  "I have a thing behind the small restaurant.  You know, the thing I'm not supposed to talk about."

It took me a minute to catch on.  Then I formed a mental picture of a gaping pit in the ground, with a plywood sign in front of it, labelled "DANGER: FATBERG".

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #189 on: October 09, 2018, 03:56:47 am »
Things I said today:

1. "That's a lot of Goddamn gangrene."
2. "If you show me a data sheet, I will drink that [reclaim water]."
3. "We are not savages. I mean, at least *I'm* not."
"Don't get me wrong, I greatly appreciate the fact that you're at least putting effort into sincerely arguing your points. It's an argument I've enjoyed having. It's just that your points are wrong and your reasons for thinking they're right are stupid."
- Cainad

"NOTHING IS AS BAD AS IT SEEMS.  BUT YOU'RE STILL FUCKED."
- Dirty Old Uncle Roger

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #190 on: October 10, 2018, 08:30:51 pm »
F&B Director:  "Wow, that's a nice screen you installed."

Me:  "Don't thank me, you paid for it."

F&B:  "Wait, what?"
"Don't get me wrong, I greatly appreciate the fact that you're at least putting effort into sincerely arguing your points. It's an argument I've enjoyed having. It's just that your points are wrong and your reasons for thinking they're right are stupid."
- Cainad

"NOTHING IS AS BAD AS IT SEEMS.  BUT YOU'RE STILL FUCKED."
- Dirty Old Uncle Roger

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #191 on: October 11, 2018, 12:55:22 am »
"Don't get me wrong, I greatly appreciate the fact that you're at least putting effort into sincerely arguing your points. It's an argument I've enjoyed having. It's just that your points are wrong and your reasons for thinking they're right are stupid."
- Cainad

"NOTHING IS AS BAD AS IT SEEMS.  BUT YOU'RE STILL FUCKED."
- Dirty Old Uncle Roger

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #192 on: October 11, 2018, 01:16:15 pm »
"I'll get to that right away.  First thing.  Top priority."


Then continue doing what you're doing.