Messages

1

Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)

« on: March 25, 2023, 03:13:04 am »

I am told that I have not lived up to expectations.  But today I launched a spare tire for skeet shooting.

Hamish,
Listed this as an expense with Thrash Unreal playing on infinite repeat.

2

Apple Talk / Re: 3/23/23

« on: March 24, 2023, 12:38:13 am »

 

3

Principia Discussion / Re: Order is Chaos, Actually

« on: March 07, 2023, 04:18:37 pm »

You're right of course, Doktor.

I guess what I mean is that we've moved with the times.

The Principia had fnords, turkeys and hotdogs without buns. Maybe that fit the 60s. I'm sure I used to find the old jokes funny even back in the 2000s.

But the temperature has risen. It's getting feverish on old planet Earth. We're still laughing. We'll never STOP laughing. If laughter is infectious we're fucking typhoid, laughing so damn much that blood runs from our manic grins and the world laughs along with us.

Even if they don't get the joke.

Jokes are like cocaine.  When you're first snorting the shit, you can get the joke if you do a single line of something that's been stepped on more times than Rosanne Boyland.

But you get acclimatized, and YOUR NEED IS MOAR.  You need MOAR horrormirth and you DON'T ask WHO IS DRIVING CAR, because YOU ALREADY KNOW WHO IS DRIVING CAR.  HIMEOMBS HAS *ALWAYS* BEEN DRIVING CAR.  We just didn't notice it before, because the power stayed on and nobody paid any attention to freaks like Nigel Farage and Marjorie Taylor Greene.  Which was, in hindsight, probably a mistake.

Pretty soon you're strung out like Johnny Cash, trying to figure out why Porter Wagoner never even cracks a grin while he writes jokes about Folsom Prison.  It's not that Porter is gloomy and more than a bit twisted.  It's that he NEVER GOT THE PUNCHLINE, at least until he started opening for Jack White.

4

Principia Discussion / Re: Here is Practical Explanation about Next Life, Purpose of Human Life,

« on: March 07, 2023, 03:20:35 am »

Oh, it's this guy again, back under a new name.

It's funny when you get him really torqued.

5

Principia Discussion / Re: Order is Chaos, Actually

« on: March 07, 2023, 02:56:09 am »

But it's still a ha-ha.  It's still funny, even after the funny left this place as a smoking crater.  It's still funny after brexit, MAGA, and the pandemic.

I bet General Zaluzhny laughs his way to sleep every night, to dream of mayhem committed on Russian soldiers, filthy and fatal tricks that is his way of saying "Welcome to Ukraine." Only he says it with a HIMARs and your lungs eject out of your mouth from the over-pressure.

It's still funny in the lab, where we work tirelessly towards a Shiny New War Crime, our eyes fever-bright with hatred for the meatsacks of Earth. 

It's a apocalyptic paradise, Scribbly, and can you blame us?  Have you SEEN Florida?  Book bannings and Don't Say Gay and transphobia under every wet rock, carried on oily voices of preachers that SAY they worship Jesus, while what they're ACTUALLY worshiping is something you and I haven't even had NIGHTMARES about yet.  Bloggers have to register with the government, and they want to flat-out outlaw opposition parties.

And don't even get me started on Texas, Tennessee, and all the other miserably flyover states that look like Mayberry made out of Lambeth Road.

It's all horrible and yet I bray with laughter.  I laugh until I can't stop screaming, and my reports scream with me, as we do ERIS'S work.  Troy?  Never fucking heard of it.

Grab your ass, my crumpet-eating friend, because this is OUR FUCKING CENTURY.

6

Principia Discussion / Re: Order is Chaos, Actually

« on: March 07, 2023, 02:44:55 am »

Well, yeah, to put it plainly, order and disorder are subsets of chaos.

Otherwise, humans wouldn't exist.

7

Principia Discussion / Re: Local 73rd Hermits Cabal

« on: March 03, 2023, 10:01:13 pm »

Not to mention infrastructure.

Any city older than a century has infrastructural chaos on a scale you couldn't imagine if you were shown it. Everything looks nice and neat shown in isolation, but you add a single other datapoint and it's over for your conceived notions of shit making sense.

This is why we call Altered "The Chairman of the Board."

8

Principia Discussion / Re: Local 73rd Hermits Cabal

« on: March 03, 2023, 09:59:44 pm »

Also, people with attitudes are one of the reasons to favor a hermit path.  I will use this emoticon to describe myself 

Nobody cares.   

9

Or Kill Me / Re: There are dreadful things.

« on: February 25, 2023, 04:28:48 am »

(That last one struck a chord)

10

Or Kill Me / Re: There are dreadful things.

« on: February 25, 2023, 04:28:25 am »

PREACH IT, ALTERED!

11

Apple Talk / Re: Gift from Baba Yaga Owl House Woman for her Wild Children

« on: February 25, 2023, 04:25:26 am »

I think I am stuck in the early phases. I keep oscillating back and forth between existing and not existing, but it's going so goddamn fast that the little mites and microbes that live on my skin are getting thrown off like one of those spinny things at the playground. We're grasping at straws to break the camel's back and all I've got is attitude. The folks at the park think I'm weird. But I'll show them. I'LL SHOW THEM ALL.

They called me mad.

 

12

Or Kill Me / Re: The Revolution Will Not Be Monetised

« on: February 20, 2023, 04:10:32 am »

This is of course the reason the revolution won't actually happen.

As you mention.

13

Or Kill Me / Re: Fuck You.

« on: February 16, 2023, 10:36:19 pm »

I approve of this new generation.

14

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only

« on: February 16, 2023, 10:35:10 pm »

What the fuck is up with creeps using drones to record the murder scene before she was even removed from it?

Sick fucks.

15

Propaganda Depository / Re: YouTube?

« on: February 06, 2023, 12:29:53 pm »

Also, either start with your mouth open a bit, or bare your teeth.  Otherwise you get this awful SMACK when you start talking.