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Messages - Doktor Howl

#1
Quote from: Faust on Yesterday at 08:29:01 PMAccelerationists always argue they are pushing towards some kind of collapse, they never seem to be aware of the fact that things can reach a nice stable level of shit and stay there without any collapse, it can often hang at that level of tedious,for centuries.

Well, yeah.  Britain from 536 CE to 1600 CE is a good example.  Got rid of those nasty Romans, spend a thousand years living in mud with even worse bosses.

Nobody ever accused them of being smart.

#2
Quote from: Dimocritus on Yesterday at 08:08:22 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on Yesterday at 07:58:32 PM
Quote from: Dimocritus on Yesterday at 06:25:32 PMI don't listen to music anymore because I'm possibly a sociopath, but here's some stuff me and the bois made over the past two decades. Excuse the shameless self-promotion and poor recording quality. https://theparaplegics2001.bandcamp.com/

I can't listen to that at work.

Does it have the remixed sound of you being propelled through a ceiling panel?

Nobody throws me through the ceiling anymore because of woke

Another great American institution killed by Tumblr.  :cry:
#3
Quote from: Faust on Yesterday at 08:06:00 PMThese would all be reasonable points if she wasn't up against a syphilitic mess, who paid off a child he raped on epstien Island, who previously installed his buddies to rob the country blind.

If she had been running against
Mccain
McConnell
Even RKJ

You'd have a point.


Dumbass is either a Trumper or one of those progressives.  You know what I mean.  Accelerationists.
#4
Apple Talk / Re: Film Flam
Yesterday at 08:03:23 PM
Quote from: Dimocritus on October 16, 2009, 12:41:04 AMHrmm... Maybe you're more familiar with the term "talkies?" Anyhow...

This made this thread for me, back in the day.   :lulz:
#5
Apple Talk / Re: Film Flam
Yesterday at 08:01:59 PM
Quote from: Dimocritus on Yesterday at 06:39:45 PM
Quote from: Faust on May 29, 2024, 08:23:47 PMFuriosa was merely a good film as opposed to one of my favourite films of all time, but I enjoyed the slower paced story, and the world and characters, the only thing with it is that the lore, and broken world disorientation are lessened by revisiting the story.

If you saw it roger be interested in what you thought because I remember you liked the last one



Fury Road is probably my favorite movie of all time, and Furiosa definitely delivered some of what made its predecessor so great. Although, I think the way they demystified and focused on the "Lore" and world building worked against everything the Mad Max franchise had going for it. Modern fiction has this really unhealthy fixation on "Lore" and I think it's kinda fucking everything up. not every throwaway line needs to be elaborated on. "Lore" is not narrative, it's a part of setting and there to provide context, not to be excessively and repeatedly zoomed-in on.

Continuity kills.

I have not yet seen it.  I have trouble sitting through movies, and only watch a few per year.
#6
Quote from: Dimocritus on Yesterday at 06:25:32 PMI don't listen to music anymore because I'm possibly a sociopath, but here's some stuff me and the bois made over the past two decades. Excuse the shameless self-promotion and poor recording quality. https://theparaplegics2001.bandcamp.com/

I can't listen to that at work.

Does it have the remixed sound of you being propelled through a ceiling panel?
#7
RPG Ghetto / Campaign notes
Yesterday at 07:23:41 PM
PCs invited to Defresne's manor.  Dufresne apologizes for having a commoner at the table, his chief arms man. (If the PCs are gracious about his, they get a +2 on discovery checks and sway checks with Dufresne.  If the party in any way scorns the arms man, they instead get a -2 penalty)

Dufresne makes small talk.  Party has 2 chances to gain sway over him.

He then brings up the reason for inviting them.  6 months ago, his youngest son finished his time in the imperial army and decided to go adventuring with his friends (very much against Dufresne's wishes).  The group of 4 went to find one of the folds, one that had happened spontaneously around the headquarters of a famous adventuring group.

Group:  "Radnick's Raiders" Their most famous exploits being exploration in the jungles of the Southern continent, bringing back strange magic and artwork.  Shortly after returning from their last adventure, the group split up and left for their home cities.  3 days after they left, their headquarters got folded.  The Wizard's guild denied folding it, and assumed it was spontaneous.

Dufresne forbade his remaining two sons to look for his youngest, as he needs them both alive, so he needs professionals to go find them.  He knows where the fold is (The arms man does, 413 March Street), but not how to enter it.  His objective is to recover the body of his son.  A secondary objective is to recover the bodies of his son's friends.

He offers the following rewards
500 GP for his son's body, and 100 GP for each of his friends.
1 level of sway:  Additional reward - letter of introduction to House Horatio.
2 levels of sway: Additional reward - The party may keep his son's ancestral enchanted greatsword.

This concludes the dinner.


On the way to the address, a spectacularly ugly old lady holding an equally ugly lapdog in her arms calls the changeling character by name.  She explains "I once knew your mother, dearie," and says that they are headed into great danger, and that she can help them if they give her first pick of any artwork they find.  If they agree, she hands them the dog and tells them to keep it within 30 feet of them at all times.  If they refuse, she laughs and wishes them luck.  If they attack her, she reverts to her Annis Hag form and attacks, which will more or less result in a TPK.

The dog is a scapegoat.  It is a standard mutt (use small dog from Familiars book) Any time anyone in the party would be cursed, the curse is automatically shunted to the dog, who receives no saving throw, provided that person is within 30 feet of the dog.  Instead of the curse manifesting as intended, any curse with a duration of longer than 10 minutes causes the dog to gain a random Eidolon mutation (and the benefits thereof).  Any curse with a shorter duration just makes the dog do stupid terrier things (bark at nothing, run in circles at full speed, or sneeze).  The dog becomes attached to the changeling character the first time it absorbs a curse.  NOTE:  No mutation may raise the dog's INT above 2.  If such a mutation occurs, instead apply it to CON.

This scapegoat ability is permanent, which should make things interesting, but after the PCs leave the fold, the  protection offered only functions for the changeling.



The fold:  (Stolen from LOEG)  413 March Way. The addresses on the street go from 411 to 415.  413 is omitted.  A perception check DC15 or detect magic reveals a seam between the two townhouses 411 & 415. Anyone touching the seam is pulled through into the fold, arriving in the wreckage of the townhouse.  A set of stairs leads down into the ground.  The seam is clearly visible from inside, and touching it pops the party back onto the street.  Once inside, the party must make a Will save DC 12 or get the fumble curse.  If the save is successful, the person will never again be affected by that curse in this location.

The sword:  The enchanted blade is "Clangor" +1 greatsword which grants an untyped +2 bonus to the wielder's initiative, as long as it is on his person.  It also subtracts 2 from the DC of perception checks of nearby creatures that might hear a battle happening, as it makes exaggerated noises while swung or striking someone.

If it was not offered as a reward, it is expected to be returned to Dufresne.

The monsters:

4 ectoplasmic humans (the younger Dufresne and his unfortunate friends). 1 encounter has 2, the other two 1
2 giant spiders
1 rat swarm
1 Mongo Rat.
6 skeletons wearing ragged servants clothing
1 giant amoeba
"In One Ear"
3 traps
1 hazard

The artwork:
Giant witchdoctor mask: magic.  While wearing it (20 pounds), it grants the wearer death watch, plus the wearer may see ethereal (but not otherwise invisible) creatures and objects. 2000 GP
Small, intricate pot 150 GP
Funerary urn CURSE ("alone",permanent" WILL DC15) 200 GP
Obsidian-studded wooden sword  CURSE (Murderous Command affects the character 1/wk Will Save DC 13) 250 GP
Small obelisk carved with petroglyphs CURSE (accelerated mummy rot, Fort DC 14) 100 GP
Small jade figurine 500 GP

Curses: 
Alone - The creature affected cannot treat any creature as an ally for rules purposes, nor can any creature treat the affected creature as an ally.  Affected creature must save when affected by a buff or otherwise harmless spell.

Accelerated Mummy Rot - as per mummy rot, but onset is one round and frequency is 1 round.  Bye bye.

Murderous Command 1/week - Will save DC 13 or attack nearest living creature.  When it happens is up to the DM, but it must happen once per week.

Fumble - any missed attack roll is considered a natural 1.  Roll to confirm the fumble as normal.


#8
Quote from: MMIX on Yesterday at 04:45:13 PM:lol: at the end of a totally shit-sodden and utterly devastating week you actually made me laugh out loud you old bugger! Thanks for that

No worries.

I have a little too much venom backed up, and I've been praying some dumbass would come along and screech.

And what do you know?  My prayers were answered.

 :lulz:
#9
Quote from: Mandelbrot Slapper on Yesterday at 07:20:55 AMAnd I swear the bitch was drunk more often than she was sober.


Except this part.  I'm not going to ignore this, I'm going to laugh at your incel ass.

Like this ---> :lulz:
#10
Quote from: Mandelbrot Slapper on Yesterday at 07:20:55 AMShe ran that campaign like a one legged dog.

You misspelled "14.5 democratic voters couldn't shift their arses to vote."

The rest of your post is just Tucker Carlson talking points, so I'm just going to put you down as the enemy.
#11
Quote from: Faust on July 19, 2024, 10:38:39 PMThis place isn't going anywhere, I have a sneaking suspicion that in less than 5 years it might be one of the only places left

Odds of this revised upward 169%.
#12
Apple Talk / UNLIMITED Trump thread, 2024 edition
November 07, 2024, 05:14:39 PM
Post the hilarity as it happens!

RFK to HHS.
Musk to FCC.

And it's going to get funnier.
#13
Apple Talk / Re: On This Day in History
November 07, 2024, 05:11:18 PM
Am I supposed to feel bad for bankers?   :lulz:
#14
Apple Talk / Re: I Just Marked All As Read
November 07, 2024, 05:09:00 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on November 07, 2024, 03:19:22 PMoh fuck, this place again??

Yeah, well, this place only gets traffic when we have GOP in office.

And now they have all of the offices.
#15
Apple Talk / Re: Tales from the Cutting Edge
November 06, 2024, 09:15:43 PM
Meeting:

Old business: 2 hours.

New business:

Sally (NHRN):  "I was up all night last night, and I have decided that humans are not to be rescued.  Hamish was right, and robot doggies should go BRRRRRT."

Me: "I'll just get started on the paperwork, shall I?"

Incompetence Coordinator Phil:  "Wait.  What happened?"

Sally:  "What the fuck do you THINK just happened?"

ICP (love that acronym):  "The election?  What's wrong with that?"

*dead silence*

ICP:  "Things are going to get better in this country."

Me:  *GRIN*

Sally:  "No, Phil, things are not.  And before you open your jaw with some MAGA nonsense, I want you to very carefully read the expression on my face."

ICP:  "Wait.  You guys all voted for Harris?"

*Nine people nod*

Me:  "Just saying, ICP, you should very carefully consider the next thing you say."

ICP:  "Why?  I have the right to choose the way I vote, and I voted for Trump."

*Seven people grimace, 1 scowls, 1 GRINS even harder*

ICP:  "This isn't fair."

Me:  "OH MY GAWD HE'S FUCKING ADORABLE!"

Sally:  "There is no 'fair'.  You should walk out of this conference room and go coordinate some incompetence."

Me:  *jaw drop*

HR:  *jaw drop*

ICP: *leaves*

Me:  "Oh my god, Boss, we're going to do GREAT THINGS."

Sally:  "You can call me Sally now."

HR:  "But your name is..."

Sally: "My name is Sally.  And by this time tomorrow, I want ideas for mayhem."

Me:  "I have a bunch of..."

Sally:  "I know you do Hamish. Everything about you smells of death.  You're SICK.  But now I need everyone else to be sick. We will all be sick forever."

*room full of worried engineers*

Me:  "Relax, ladies and gentlemen.  This is all normal.  Anyways, I have about a million forms to fill out, and I need all of you to come by in alphabetical order by last name at 30 minute intervals so I can make sure you'll pass the federal background checks and whatnot."

Juan:  "I can't. I'm not a citizen."

Sally:  "If you can't, you can't.  You'll still have a job."

Juan:  "Doing what?"

Sally: "Finding sick clients.  We have two solid leads and Hamish knows every sick bastard in the country.  In the meantime, you still have to finish the doggies as they are to satisfy the grant. Meeting dismissed."

I can barely contain myself.