Zoom meeting today. I left my camera on by mistake.
Sally (NOT her real name): "Hamish, your camera is on and...what the hell are you doing?"
Me: "I am dancing the Macarena."
Sally: "Why are you dancing the Macarena?"
Me: "It's part of my fitness routine."
Sally: "But there's no music. How are you doing that?"
Me: "The music has been loaded in my head since 1992. It's like Bios. If you reboot me, that's the first thing that comes up."
Sally: "..."
Me: "Can we get on with the meeting?"
Sally: "Turn your camera off."
Me: "I'm stung."
Sally. "Off. Camera. Now. Fucking."
Me: "This is all normal, Sally."
Sally: "That's not my name."
Me: "Maybe in the sidereal universe it isn't. But in the Hamverse it is."
Sally: "What the hell is wrong with you?"
Me: "Nothing wrong with me. Nothing wrong with me."
Sally: "..."
Me: "Something's got to give."
Sally: *hangs up*
Me: "Let the bodies hit the floooooooooooooor!"
Sally (NOT her real name): "Hamish, your camera is on and...what the hell are you doing?"
Me: "I am dancing the Macarena."
Sally: "Why are you dancing the Macarena?"
Me: "It's part of my fitness routine."
Sally: "But there's no music. How are you doing that?"
Me: "The music has been loaded in my head since 1992. It's like Bios. If you reboot me, that's the first thing that comes up."
Sally: "..."
Me: "Can we get on with the meeting?"
Sally: "Turn your camera off."
Me: "I'm stung."
Sally. "Off. Camera. Now. Fucking."
Me: "This is all normal, Sally."
Sally: "That's not my name."
Me: "Maybe in the sidereal universe it isn't. But in the Hamverse it is."
Sally: "What the hell is wrong with you?"
Me: "Nothing wrong with me. Nothing wrong with me."
Sally: "..."
Me: "Something's got to give."
Sally: *hangs up*
Me: "Let the bodies hit the floooooooooooooor!"