If one more person blames unseasonable weather on Global Warming I am going to ram a ballpoint pen though their pants, directly into their fucking urethra.
No, I don't remember that conversation we had that we didn't have!
If I come across one more bendy straw with a fucking hole in it, thereby rendering its only use completely useless, I will boot-fuck ALL the puppies!
If you ask me a question consider, it fair warning that I will give you an answer, regardless of it's one you like, want, or have the sanity to comprehend.
I'm sorry your maintenance department has a combined mental capacity of a flea, however, I fail to see how that is in any way my responsibility to oversee what they order and where they order it from, YOU are my customer, I don't work for your company!!
Fuck.
Microsoft!
Why oh fucking why do people feel the need when introduced to somebody from a foreign land (except Wales for some reason) to immediately launch into a pathetic tirade of poorly pronounced and ill-advised cliche phrases and/or words, allegedly in the mother tongue of the foreigner?
omoe regot toe mister roboto?
If I see one more time traveller try to use our history books against us, I'm just going to flip out and create a pention, and . . . and . . . :?
Candy canes should be made less sticky because they are hard to get out of hair.
It's like I'm watching a meme die in real time!
Memes should die faster!
/
:argh!:
If you try to strike a meme down, it will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
I don't care to hear your thoughts about the "left wing conspiracy" destroying Christmas, if it's too much a challenge to do your job without speaking to me, i'll take a 10 min class, do it myself and shit down your neck.
I'm glad you're happy with your computer, but I should have told you Linux was a premium OS and pocketed your $300, because at least then whenever you had a problem, you wouldn't immediately assume the issue was with the "Free Operating System."
I think you're kind've a twat and I'm only being nice to you because you have cancer.
Fuck off
I'M GONNA FUCKING STRAP YOU TO A CHAIR AND MAKE YOU READ MARMADUKE COMICS UNTIL YOUR FACE MELTS AND YOUR NIPPLES SQUIRT URINE AND I MAKE YOU DRINK THE URINE
Quote from: Cramulus on December 21, 2008, 05:50:50 AM
I'M GONNA FUCKING STRAP YOU TO A CHAIR AND MAKE YOU READ MARMADUKE COMICS UNTIL YOUR FACE MELTS AND YOUR NIPPLES SQUIRT URINE AND I MAKE YOU DRINK THE URINE
:potd:
IF YOU STOP GOING TO SEE ADAM FUCKING SANDLER MOVIES, THEN MAYBE HE MIGHT STOP MAKING THEM!!!!!!!!
I hate your hair, it makes your body look like a giant penis.
who died and made you the head penguin?
One more merry christmas from you and you'll be the tree topper!
Quote from: Khara on December 22, 2008, 09:12:04 PM
One more merry christmas from you and you'll be the tree topper!
A.K.A.:
"Bah-Humbug!" -Ebenezer Scrooge, as transcribed by Sir Charles Dickens
when i say i have cold feet it JUST MEANTS THAT, not that im afraid of something as stupid as an idea
"Get your paws off me you damn dirty apes!" - Charleston Heston from the planet of the apes
Many of these could be meme bombs.
Why oh why can't my sewing machine behave for more than FIVE FUCKING MINUTES OF CONTINUOUS STRAIGHT STITCHING?! WHY?! FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT ASS GOBLIN SINGER FUCKTARD! DIE BITCH DIE!
HUMANS SHOULD ALL GO DIE IN A FIRE.
why won't my neighbors dogs just shut up for one friken minute so i can sleep!
Listen, I know that our job is really fucking boring and you like to talk... A LOT... but no one fucking cares about some shitty high school football from the 80's. NO ONE!
SHIT FUCK DAMN.
Quote from: Richter on December 24, 2008, 01:03:02 PM
SHIT FUCK DAMN.
EPIC RANT ITT
(that was the best thread in the history of PD.com)
Quote from: Cainad on December 24, 2008, 05:29:51 PM
Quote from: Richter on December 24, 2008, 01:03:02 PM
SHIT FUCK DAMN.
EPIC RANT ITT
(that was the best thread in the history of PD.com)
SRSLY. I'll always remember when Payne shot the Flying Pony.
Everything is fucked.
Quote from: Kai on December 24, 2008, 05:55:20 PM
Everything is fucked.
This could actually be quite a positive rant, actually.
LMNO
-redundant department of redundancy.
Quote from: LMNO on December 24, 2008, 06:02:51 PM
Quote from: Kai on December 24, 2008, 05:55:20 PM
Everything is fucked.
This could actually be quite a positive rant, actually.
LMNO
-redundant department of redundancy.
probably
Kai,
Will expand upon it later.
QuoteIN ALL MY YEARS OF JUDGING I HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE SOMEONE MORE DESERVING OF THE FULL PENALTY OF LAW -- THE WAY YOU'VE MADE THEM SUFFER (YOUR EXQUISITE WIFE AND MOTHER) FILLS ME WITH AN URGE TO DEFECATE!
I'M SICK OF HEARING YOU WHINE ABOUT YOUR SITUATION WHEN IT'S MOSTLY YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT!
DON'T JUST STAND THERE COMPLAINING , FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!! :argh!:
Read a motherfucking book, nigger.
The Care Bears no longer give a fuck.
Dude, none of this is news, everybody already knew your girlfriend was goddamn psychotic
You can't do THAT with CHEESE!
JUST BECAUSE IM YOUR PRINTER DOESN'T MEAN I'M GONNA DO YOUR FUCKING HOMEWORK FOR YOU.
Quote from: Nigel on December 27, 2008, 02:03:37 AM
Read a motherfucking book, nigger.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlKL_EpnSp8
I'm in love with myself but a breakup is imminent.
Look where you're fucking walking, undergrad!
She doesn't like you either.
Oh cool, I see you also prepared a bunch of stale, banal anecdotes for the January 5th water cooler small talk marathon.
Oh my god I can't believe you did that again you stupid in-bred monkey cock sucking excuse for euthanasia, I told you before that I don't care what kind of water it is as long as it's water you can drown in now go pour me another cup of FUCKING COFFEE BITCH!
Aw man, and I thought I would make it through New Years without anyone laying down a "See you next year!" followed by a bunch of moronic chortling.
thanks, Eve's brother.
Man, I really, really wish you DID have my back because it is aching like a motherfluffer right now.
i did that to my collegues :oops:
If what I say blatantly contradicts itself, contains obvious hyperbole, an emoticon, or alliteration, that's a PRETTY DAMN GOOD clue that I'm probably AT LEAST HALF KIDDING, and that you should not TAKE MY STATEMENTS SERIOUSLY, especially when I *ADMIT* that I rarely know what I MYSELF believe.
Playing Devil's Advocate in blatantly stupid/ignorant ways is lame; fuck off.
Look, I would like to make this perfectly clear but your inordinate level of stupidity renders this course of action impossible so instead I'm just going to beat the living shit out of you for 5 mins by way of settling this debate.
FUCKING ILL AND I CAN'T CONCENTRATE ON ANYTHING AND I'M BORED BUT I STILL CAN'T CONCENTRATE AND EVERYTHING'S GOING WRONG AND I'M ANNOYED!!
:argh!:
I need a coupla days off...
Okay, I'm happy that you have a genuine enthusiasm for biology, but both me and the rest of class would take your lectures a hell of a lot more seriously if you didn't inject every contradictory conspiracy you read in the paper into them.
Cold fronts suck!
THERE'S NO DOG FUCKING IN GOLF!
Quote from: Reverend Smeg the Kilted on January 14, 2009, 07:53:34 PM
THERE'S NO DOG FUCKING IN GOLF!
So what's the fucking point of it then?
Quote from: Reverend Smeg the Kilted on January 14, 2009, 07:53:34 PM
THERE'S NO DOG FUCKING IN GOLF!
Golf is all fun and games until someone looses a ball.
Edit: removed dual sentence fail.
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on January 14, 2009, 08:05:17 PM
Quote from: Reverend Smeg the Kilted on January 14, 2009, 07:53:34 PM
THERE'S NO DOG FUCKING IN GOLF!
So what's the fucking point of it then?
...um...what, you mean besides meaninglessly wasting land that might actuall be put to good use on an elitist game?
----------------
The noise in my head is: Royal Guardsmen - Snoopy VS The Red Baron (http://www.foxytunes.com/artist/royal+guardsmen/track/snoopy+vs+the+red+baron)
Quote from: Reverend Smeg the Kilted on January 14, 2009, 08:50:25 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on January 14, 2009, 08:05:17 PM
Quote from: Reverend Smeg the Kilted on January 14, 2009, 07:53:34 PM
THERE'S NO DOG FUCKING IN GOLF!
So what's the fucking point of it then?
...um...what, you mean besides meaninglessly wasting land that might actuall be put to good use on an elitist game?
----------------
The noise in my head is: Royal Guardsmen - Snoopy VS The Red Baron (http://www.foxytunes.com/artist/royal+guardsmen/track/snoopy+vs+the+red+baron)
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2008/8/18/
Quote from: Richter on January 14, 2009, 09:01:21 PM
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2008/8/18/
Yeah? So?
----------------
The noise in my head is: TISM - Who The Fuck Blow That Plastic Trumpet (http://www.foxytunes.com/artist/tism/track/who+the+fuck+blow+that+plastic+trumpet)
Quote from: The Borderline Simpleton on January 10, 2009, 12:20:46 PM
FUCKING ILL AND I CAN'T CONCENTRATE ON ANYTHING AND I'M BORED BUT I STILL CAN'T CONCENTRATE AND EVERYTHING'S GOING WRONG AND I'M ANNOYED!!
:argh!:
I need a coupla days off...
Be careful what you wish for.
Quote from: Reverend Smeg the Kilted on January 14, 2009, 10:05:11 PM
Quote from: Richter on January 14, 2009, 09:01:21 PM
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2008/8/18/
Yeah? So?
----------------
The noise in my head is: TISM - Who The Fuck Blow That Plastic Trumpet (http://www.foxytunes.com/artist/tism/track/who+the+fuck+blow+that+plastic+trumpet)
MY FAVRITE BAND
There is no such fucking thing as natural rights!
If you and your seven friends insist on meandering down the sidewalk....MOVE OVER FOR THOSE OF US WHO HAVE SOMEWHERE TO BE OR I'LL RIP OUR ALL BUT ONE OF YOUR ACHILLES TENDONS....YOU...THE ONE I DIDN'T JUST PERMANENTLY CRIPPLE...GO TELL THE REST OF THE MEANDERING FUCKHEADS UP AHEAD TO HURRY UP OR MOVE THE FUCK OVER!!!
Quote from: simonmoon333 on April 27, 2009, 04:12:28 AM
If you and your seven friends insist on meandering down the sidewalk....MOVE OVER FOR THOSE OF US WHO HAVE SOMEWHERE TO BE OR I'LL RIP OUR ALL BUT ONE OF YOUR ACHILLES TENDONS....YOU...THE ONE I DIDN'T JUST PERMANENTLY CRIPPLE...GO TELL THE REST OF THE MEANDERING FUCKHEADS UP AHEAD TO HURRY UP OR MOVE THE FUCK OVER!!!
You don't just push your way through? It's not that hard.
Still working on breaking the spells that are called "manners"....will break that one when it comes up again
Don't push through, just walk around them. It's kind of of passive-aggressive rude, and people will be insulted without having anyone to blame but their own walking speed.
Quote from: Enki-][ on April 27, 2009, 02:35:00 PM
Don't push through, just walk around them. It's kind of of passive-aggressive rude, and people will be insulted without having anyone to blame but their own walking speed.
You forget corridors and other enclosed walking spaces where you can't do that. You're also forgetting that pushing through them is more efficient and more
fun.
I dunno. I like to walk around them especially in tight spaces. The closeness makes it extra rude, especially if I turn my body around and get through edgewise. People usually don't stand particularly close, and so if I rotate my body a bit I can edge through between people, which gives them a pretty big shock.
Walk right behind the bastard(s), within half a meter, and time your footsteps with theirs to make as little noise as possible.
Continue until they freak the fuck out.
Listen into their conversation and casually continue it like you were supposed to be a part of it, and when they realize that they have no clue who you are, run away.
This has become something that fits better in an OM thread. I think I accidentally the thread and jacked it.
If the people on the street talk anywhere near my own level of banality and soul crushing idiocy, there's no way I want to get involved in any way with their conversation. That's just ill manners anyway, and does nothing to actually mindfuck them.
I'm just fascinated with the whole "personal space" thing. It can really freak some people out.
Hey you guys aren't making one sentence rants!!!!
Yes we are except we're doing multiple rants per post.
Suck on it.
Heretics!!!
:argh!:
People who can't deal with my higher cruising speed can express their disgust in my wake, while trying to speak to my apatheic back.
Quote from: Payne on April 27, 2009, 04:37:48 PM
If the people on the street talk anywhere near my own level of banality and soul crushing idiocy, there's no way I want to get involved in any way with their conversation. That's just ill manners anyway, and does nothing to actually mindfuck them.
I'm just fascinated with the whole "personal space" thing. It can really freak some people out.
Indeed. I'm one of those people who has very little "presence," so I can hover in people's blind spots almost indefinitely. Reactions tend to be lulzy.
Quote from: Cainad on April 27, 2009, 06:38:23 PM
Quote from: Payne on April 27, 2009, 04:37:48 PM
If the people on the street talk anywhere near my own level of banality and soul crushing idiocy, there's no way I want to get involved in any way with their conversation. That's just ill manners anyway, and does nothing to actually mindfuck them.
I'm just fascinated with the whole "personal space" thing. It can really freak some people out.
Indeed. I'm one of those people who has very little "presence," so I can hover in people's blind spots almost indefinitely. Reactions tend to be lulzy.
Same here, anything our height / mass has NO business running a stealth system thou :lulz:
Quote from: simonmoon333 on April 27, 2009, 04:12:28 AM
If you and your seven friends insist on meandering down the sidewalk....MOVE OVER FOR THOSE OF US WHO HAVE SOMEWHERE TO BE OR I'LL RIP OUR ALL BUT ONE OF YOUR ACHILLES TENDONS....YOU...THE ONE I DIDN'T JUST PERMANENTLY CRIPPLE...GO TELL THE REST OF THE MEANDERING FUCKHEADS UP AHEAD TO HURRY UP OR MOVE THE FUCK OVER!!!
This one shows promise!
Quote from: Payne on April 27, 2009, 04:37:48 PM
If the people on the street talk anywhere near my own level of banality and soul crushing idiocy, there's no way I want to get involved in any way with their conversation. That's just ill manners anyway, and does nothing to actually mindfuck them.
I'm just fascinated with the whole "personal space" thing. It can really freak some people out.
I have decided to add sneezing into this routine.
Quote from: Payne on April 28, 2009, 01:04:31 PM
Quote from: Payne on April 27, 2009, 04:37:48 PM
If the people on the street talk anywhere near my own level of banality and soul crushing idiocy, there's no way I want to get involved in any way with their conversation. That's just ill manners anyway, and does nothing to actually mindfuck them.
I'm just fascinated with the whole "personal space" thing. It can really freak some people out.
I have decided to add sneezing into this routine.
Walk up behind them, throw a piece of bacon at their neck and sneeze loudly.
Report results here.
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on April 28, 2009, 01:45:14 PM
Quote from: Payne on April 28, 2009, 01:04:31 PM
Quote from: Payne on April 27, 2009, 04:37:48 PM
If the people on the street talk anywhere near my own level of banality and soul crushing idiocy, there's no way I want to get involved in any way with their conversation. That's just ill manners anyway, and does nothing to actually mindfuck them.
I'm just fascinated with the whole "personal space" thing. It can really freak some people out.
I have decided to add sneezing into this routine.
Walk up behind them, throw a piece of bacon at their neck and sneeze loudly.
Report results here.
OHshit...PETA will be in town soon, IIRC... :lulz:
Quote from: Richter on April 28, 2009, 02:02:57 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on April 28, 2009, 01:45:14 PM
Quote from: Payne on April 28, 2009, 01:04:31 PM
Quote from: Payne on April 27, 2009, 04:37:48 PM
If the people on the street talk anywhere near my own level of banality and soul crushing idiocy, there's no way I want to get involved in any way with their conversation. That's just ill manners anyway, and does nothing to actually mindfuck them.
I'm just fascinated with the whole "personal space" thing. It can really freak some people out.
I have decided to add sneezing into this routine.
Walk up behind them, throw a piece of baconmachette at their neck and sneeze loudly.
Report results here.
OHshit...PETA will be in town soon, IIRC... :lulz:
Same plan should work with some slight tweaking
PRO-TIP: YOU CAN'T JUST DEMAND THAT YOU NEED SOMETHING, NOT SPECIFY WHAT THE FUCK IT IS, AND THEN GET PISSED OFF AND/OR FEEL "NEGLECTED" WHEN I DON'T GIVE IT TO YOU.
Wait...do vegans swallow?
Quote from: Richter on May 13, 2009, 01:45:47 PM
Wait...do vegans swallow?
This is not the first time I have considered that question. I'm not sure how to feel about that fact. :horrormirth:
Quote from: Cainad on May 13, 2009, 04:45:33 PM
Quote from: Richter on May 13, 2009, 01:45:47 PM
Wait...do vegans swallow?
This is not the first time I have considered that question. I'm not sure how to feel about that fact. :horrormirth:
I'm sure it's come up before, but the Kundalini bookbinding brought it to mind. Could vegans use / eat products / materials donated from willing animal sources (aka. people) ? It leads back into my nightmares of militant vegans going to the extreme of killing people for materials and fertilizer for their plants.
Quote from: Richter on May 13, 2009, 01:45:47 PM
Wait...do vegans swallow?
Never met one (I know of), that didnt.
:mittens: Thanks, you just saved me some trouble.
:ahem:
You know, I don't ask too much from the weather because, hey, it's New England, but WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH MID-70'S TEMPERATURES ACCOMPANIED BY FUCKING RAIN SHOWERS THAT GUARANTEE I WILL BE SWEATING IN THE MOTHERFUCKING RAIN AS I WALK TO WORK?
How the fuck did we become the dominant species?
WHY THE FUCK DID MY A/C BREAK JUST BECAUSE THE PEOPLE UPSTAIRS IS BROKE? IN DAMN NEAR 100 DEGREE TEMPS?
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKSHITDAMNHELLMOTHERFUCKINGBULLSHITPISSESMETHEFUCKRIGHTONOFF!!!!!
Unless you cover all the exposed surfaces with a tarp, you're not allowed to do that EVER AGAIN.
It's easier than you think--all you have to do is think about what you're doing.
Wait, fuck.
Quote from: vexati0n on May 13, 2009, 05:19:11 AM
PRO-TIP: YOU CAN'T JUST DEMAND THAT YOU NEED SOMETHING, NOT SPECIFY WHAT THE FUCK IT IS, AND THEN GET PISSED OFF AND/OR FEEL "NEGLECTED" WHEN I DON'T GIVE IT TO YOU.
:asplode:
Quote from: Ne+@uNGr0+ on June 22, 2009, 08:55:14 AM
Quote from: vexati0n on May 13, 2009, 05:19:11 AM
PRO-TIP: YOU CAN'T JUST DEMAND THAT YOU NEED SOMETHING, NOT SPECIFY WHAT THE FUCK IT IS, AND THEN GET PISSED OFF AND/OR FEEL "NEGLECTED" WHEN I DON'T GIVE IT TO YOU.
:asplode:
yeah that smiley is how my 3 year old can make me feel.
Dear Dad,
Stop reading all these propaganda articles that your brother sends you about the Obama administration and complaining about him to me on the phone because I voted for him.
Use your fucking computer to google the shit that these articles say and find out for yourself that they're all BULLSHIT and save me thr trouble of doing it while I'm on the phone with you.
GUH!
Just bookmark http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/
Quote from: LMNO on June 22, 2009, 06:26:26 PM
Just bookmark http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/
:mittens: I don't know why I keep forgetting about that link. I'm tempted to go spam some of those stories on Rapture Ready and see how long it takes before they ban me.
If you're too incompetent to push a button on a credit card machine, please please please don't produce babby. Even if it does give me a good before/after view of when stupidity is just beginning to bloom to when it's a full blown case.
Why does the responsibility to launch this hundred thousand dollar project fall squarely on some underpaid assistant who only works three days a week and doesn't even have health insurance?
You fuckers had better give me my full time job back. With a raise. Or one of these days I'm going to burn this place to the GROUND.
Its not going to change, because people aren't fucked, just uncomfortable; fucked people start revolutions, uncomfortable people just complain and go on with their lives.
Dear asshole manager,
I'm SICK. Stop calling me and asking me if I want to come in this week! You called Tuesday and then you called again this morning, and you know I had to leave early Monday. I already hate this job. Stop making me hate it more. Also, I don't want to be indirectly responsible for getting D's wife sick with, you know, a BACTERIAL lung infection, weeks before she's due to give birth.
Seriously, stop calling.
Attn, Larry Bird! Building your franchise around Danny Granger and five overpriced white forwards that can't rebound and can't play defense is probably not going to win you any championships. STOP FUCKING DRAFTING YOURSELF!!!!
I think I'm already sick of hearing about Jackson and Fawcett cacking it.
If there's one thing I can't fucking tolerate, it's betrayal.
I really want my speakers to stop making this goddamn clicking metronome sound.
Protip: Turn off the Metronome.
A splash of half and half. That would indicate a very small amount, yes?
"To taste".
I say it's more than a tablespoon, less than 1/8 cup.
When I tell you that I studdy french at school, I don't find it amusing in any way when you answer "Très bien", dumbass.
People who aren't my boss shouldn't pretend to be my boss.
Half the time I don't fucking understand you people or this forum and I'm pretty sure we ALL Doing It Wrong IIIEEEEEEE!!!!
Quote from: LMNO on June 22, 2009, 06:26:26 PM
Just bookmark http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/
Who needs a truth-o-meter when you can just carefully avoid falsifiable language?
\
(http://img73.imageshack.us/img73/1029/garybusey.gif)
Hey Mark Summers, when you're hosting "Unwrapped" and they make a world's largest food thing, don't you feel bad for the people who have NO DAMN FOOD??
I sure do.
world's largest s'more. FEH!
Why the fuck are all my teachers retarded :argh!:
The recession is the suck that keeps on sucking.
I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO YOUR DAMNED FATHER'S HOUSE STOP TRYING TO MAKE THIS INTO A "MY CULTURE TRUMPS YOURS"--IT'S NOT ABOUT THE HOLIDAY, IT'S ABOUT THE FACT HE'S A TOTAL FUCKING ASSHOLE AND I CAN'T STAND HIS BIGOTED, IGNORANT ASS!
Fuck the world.
You know, if you're going to tell me I fucked up by not taking enough credits at this campus to be allowed to live here, you maybe should have told me that before the deadline to add/drop courses passed--fuck, I would have preferred it if you hadn't allowed me to move in at all so that I would have gotten my head out of my ass and realized that I shouldn't be at this school at all.
Quote from: Cainad on September 18, 2009, 09:37:25 PM
You know, if you're going to tell me I fucked up by not taking enough credits at this campus to be allowed to live here, you maybe should have told me that before the deadline to add/drop courses passed--fuck, I would have preferred it if you hadn't allowed me to move in at all so that I would have gotten my head out of my ass and realized that I shouldn't be at this school at all.
:( This sounds bad, Cainad.
Your reflexive, irrational, unjustified and scapegoat-centric anger at everything that strokes your self-righteousness the wrong way has turned you into an emotional terrorist - you're the Al Qaeda of lovers, and just as pathetic - but let's keep fucking anyway.
Quote from: Jenne on September 18, 2009, 09:51:00 PM
Quote from: Cainad on September 18, 2009, 09:37:25 PM
You know, if you're going to tell me I fucked up by not taking enough credits at this campus to be allowed to live here, you maybe should have told me that before the deadline to add/drop courses passed--fuck, I would have preferred it if you hadn't allowed me to move in at all so that I would have gotten my head out of my ass and realized that I shouldn't be at this school at all.
:( This sounds bad, Cainad.
It is bad. It's not incurable, but it blows dolphin dicks and it's giving me the anxiety-nausea (and I'm out of motherfucking tobacco :argh!: ).
I have to find a professor who's willing to let me enter the course late, write a letter explaining how much I suck and why I should be allowed to do all this past the deadline, and attach it to a petition form to be sent to the assistant dean for approval. Now, I'd be very surprised if the petition was rejected and I get tossed out because this school is small, growing, and determined to suck as much cock as it needs to in order to keep "good" students here (and that somehow includes me, lol).
But it's still a load of shit and I really want a smoke.
Wow, Cainad, that does suck. :( And how come you can't get a hold of tobacco?
The next coach or parent who tried to flirt and/or hit on me while I'm refereeing their kid's game is going to get socked in their ever-loving mouth.
Referee shirts should not be thin and white. Ever, because it means I have to wear a tank top under it and it's FUCKING HOT despite the fact my tank is not much thicker than the shirt in question. I have to stand in the sun the entire game. Blue would have made my life so much easier.
Quote from: The Nerve-Ending Fairy on September 19, 2009, 12:35:56 AM
Wow, Cainad, that does suck. :( And how come you can't get a hold of tobacco?
'Cause I'm lazy and always forget to stop by 7/11 and pick up a pack of Backwoods cigars when I'm out. Or at least, I usually am: yesterday I resolved the tobacco situation and I'm in the process of working out the school situation.
Godspeed, Cainad.
Good luck dude. I too have felt the sting of the Registrar screwing me out of housing.
I even took a semester at another school because of it.
The inhumane Season of Buerocracy is in full steam in the administrative machinery of colleges.
Don't fuck with me, humans, I am smart as fuck and I WILL kick you out of the way if you become an unfunny asshole.
The next piece of furniture I move is going to be OUT OF THE FUCKING WINDOW.
Speaking of which, I was going to write up three or four rants this weekend, only I couldn't because I WAS MOVING FUCKING FURNITURE AROUND and didn't have the time to do the necessary prep work for them.
GET THE FUCK OFF MY BACK ABOUT THE GODDAMN LAB SHIT THAT WILL TAKE ME AN HOUR AT THE END OF THE SEMESTER AND LET ME WORK ON MY ASSISTANTSHIP WHICH ACTUALLY PAYS MY BILLS, YOU SENILE, LOST IN THE PAST, PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE MANIPULATIVE CONDESCENDING OLD PERSON.
I've moved seven times in the past five years (#8 this weekend!), I don't need an explanation about how to pack boxes or get utilities turned on.
Hey guy who said was going to meet me at 3, it is 3 and I'm waiting and I could've left hours ago!!! :argh!:
Also Directors shouldn't tell me to stick around so they can pick my brain and then mysteriously disappear without warning.
Seriously, get down to the goddamn gym--try to talk the manager down in the price if you must, but really, I mostly care about getting the membership at this point, because I've been waiting since July and I'm not a patient person anyway.
I'm really hoping I get a secure, sales-free job so I can tell her to fuck off about this and my friend and I can just get our own instead. The gym we want is less than 200 feet from the house, so why she hasn't just gone down there and bought the fucking thing, I don't know
I WILL SPLIT THE EARTH WITH MY BARE HANDS.
Where the fuck is the CAFFEINE this morning?
YOU PLEBIAN OFFICE FUCKS, DO NOT TEST ME, I AM PLAYING AT "NICE" WITH YOU, MEEK AND MILD SO YOU ARE NOT SCARED INTO USELESSNESS, IF YOU CANNOT BE CIVIL, IF ALL YOU WILL CONSIDER IS STRENGTH, YOU WILL FIND I HAVE IT IN SPADES, BEHAVE YOURSELVES OR FALL TO ASH BEFORE ME.
Quote from: Richter on September 30, 2009, 03:18:41 PM
YOU PLEBIAN OFFICE FUCKS, DO NOT TEST ME, I AM PLAYING AT "NICE" WITH YOU, MEEK AND MILD SO YOU ARE NOT SCARED INTO USELESSNESS, IF YOU CANNOT BE CIVIL, IF ALL YOU WILL CONSIDER IS STRENGTH, YOU WILL FIND I HAVE IT IN SPADES, BEHAVE YOURSELVES OR FALL TO ASH BEFORE ME.
:mittens:
EVERY TIME SOEM GOOD STUFF GETS GOING SOME MONKEY DECIDES IT SHTE FUCKING BAT SIGNAL TO STIR SHIT, A FUCKING PRIMATE HABIT WHICH BLOWS MANATEES.
Look, I know I can take you seriously, and I really want to, but GODDAMIT TAKE THAT FUCKING GOLDEN STICKER OFF OF YOUR HAT. Also, it feels weird to be visibly shown that you have the same hat size as me every day.
We were smart in those days, as pointed as a tack, ready to take on any task and then our intelligence was lost in the mushy banana skin of apathy and mental decay, lost as we bowed more and more often to the screen, taking sustenance from the words and we had no energy anymore.
There was something about his face, his movement, his ease of communication and motion throughout this social gathering and his big smile and more, his lack of anxiety and pure joy at the moment that tempted me to trip him as he walked by, or punch him in the crotch.
Coyotes broke my jeep. :argh!:
If you're not ready, don't tell me to be ready and then make me wait 45 minutes! I'm hungry!
God fucking damn it, what the hell kind of treacherous sorcery are you using such that YOU eat a double bacon pizza-burger, and I'M the one who gets massive gas the next morning?! :crankey:
COLD SUCKS!!! RAINY COLD SUCKS MORE!!!!! :argh!:
Quote from: Khara on October 06, 2009, 10:08:39 PM
COLD SUCKS!!! RAINY COLD SUCKS MORE!!!!! :argh!:
:)
TGRR,
Lives in the desert.
Fuck this assistantship, fuck caddisflies, fuck Cheumatofuckingpsyche, fuck my thesis, fuck my advisor, fuck this department, this entomology program, this school, fuck this town, fuck football, fuck the south and fuck all the goddamn people who live there.
Quote from: Kai on October 07, 2009, 04:57:19 PM
Fuck this assistantship, fuck caddisflies, fuck Cheumatofuckingpsyche, fuck my thesis, fuck my advisor, fuck this department, this entomology program, this school, fuck this town, fuck football, fuck the south and fuck all the goddamn people who live there.
Take a break, Kai. Go shooting. That always makes me feel better.
Quote from: Kai on October 07, 2009, 04:57:19 PM
Fuck this assistantship, fuck caddisflies, fuck Cheumatofuckingpsyche, fuck my thesis, fuck my advisor, fuck this department, this entomology program, this school, fuck this town, fuck football, fuck the south and fuck all the goddamn people who live there.
KAI! NOOOOOOO!
Sometimes when things fuck you up you have to fuck them back. Cause life doesn't often give a reach around unless you tie it down and hold a gun to its head. Life is kinky like that.
Quote from: Kai on October 09, 2009, 03:48:40 AM
Sometimes when things fuck you up you have to fuck them back. Cause life doesn't often give a reach around unless you tie it down and hold a gun to its head. Life is kinky like that.
Picturing this is mind boggling.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on October 09, 2009, 03:52:30 AM
Quote from: Kai on October 09, 2009, 03:48:40 AM
Sometimes when things fuck you up you have to fuck them back. Cause life doesn't often give a reach around unless you tie it down and hold a gun to its head. Life is kinky like that.
Picturing this is mind boggling.
Then you've been going to the wrong parties.
Quote from: Kai on October 07, 2009, 04:57:19 PM
Fuck this assistantship, fuck caddisflies, fuck Cheumatofuckingpsyche, fuck my thesis, fuck my advisor, fuck this department, this entomology program, this school, fuck this town, fuck football, fuck the south and fuck all the goddamn people who live there.
Oh yeah???
(http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1406/880194600_a080d29913.jpg?v=0)
Quote from: Pastor-Mullah Zappathruster on October 09, 2009, 04:08:20 AM
Quote from: Kai on October 07, 2009, 04:57:19 PM
Fuck this assistantship, fuck caddisflies, fuck Cheumatofuckingpsyche, fuck my thesis, fuck my advisor, fuck this department, this entomology program, this school, fuck this town, fuck football, fuck the south and fuck all the goddamn people who live there.
Oh yeah???
(http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1406/880194600_a080d29913.jpg?v=0)
*is in SC-upstate*
Passed through a town last weekend and they were all flying confederate flags. Fuck the south.
Sounds rough, man. :(
I really, really hate being sick and I've been sick FOUR TIMES THIS YEAR--more times than I was sick during the entirety of the previous six years. And three out of the four times, it's been a cold. I would much rather have the flu--puke once or twice, sleep for a day or so, be all better. But noooo, I get colds which take forever to shake.
Also, people are home from other places AND I'M TOO SICK TO HANG OUT. :argh!:
Oh sorry, it would be foolish to expect that knowledge can be exchanged for free; here's $36,000 a year!
Quote from: glorfon on October 12, 2009, 05:06:36 AM
Oh sorry, it would be foolish to expect that knowledge can be exchanged for free; here's $36,000 a year!
36k the
first year. Every year after it goes up, like a bad mortgage,
I know the secrets of the universe; why would I care if you think I'm stupid or inept?
I am infested with flu viruses. Little bitty death machines. So why don't you waste my time by standing directly in front of me and chatting with the pharmacist, when I need my pills?
I'm done talking to you. You never fucking listen to a thing I say, no matter what it is and I'm sosososososo tired of repeating myself. I obviously have nothing worthwhile to say, so I'll save my breath and not bother.
Ok, Mr. 45 year old co-worker. I know that you are happy about being newly divorced and shit but I don't need to hear every detail of your sex life. :evilmad:
When I say I need something today I don't mean it is okay if you wait and give it to me tomorrow!!!
While I am glad you find me and my experiences "interesting" I am NOT here to be your singing dancing weirdo for fucking hire, only useful when I dish out good, juicy stories.
Quote from: Alty on March 22, 2012, 02:42:47 AM
While I am glad you find me and my experiences "interesting" I am NOT here to be your singing dancing weirdo for fucking hire, only useful when I dish out good, juicy stories.
Rubbish.
:argh!:
I understand that you have just dismissed me as a novelty, but even though I will haunt your dreams for the next few months, you yet have no idea how that dismissal will haunt every aspect of your career between now and the time I reject you as an applicant.
Challenge me.
Stick that thing in my face again and you'll be wearing it on YOUR face, and we all know it doesn't bend that way!!!!
Recalibrating your fantasy baseball grid =/= doing your job!
Fuck off sunlight im busy being a sausage!
One sentence rants suck. That's why this rant has four sentences. So you fuckers just keep dribbling Slack™ away, one epigram at a time. I hate you all with the power of Courtney Love's HPV.
The real problem here is that after years of swearing, there are no longer any words that seem obscene enough to describe you.
Also...this thread reminds me of Hemmingway's six word story. Check it out.
Quote from: Oysters Rockefeller on March 22, 2012, 03:41:51 PM
Also...this thread reminds me of Hemmingway's six word story. Check it out.
:ohboy:
I don't care how jealous you are of me, that's not an excuse for being a complete bitch, ruining my lovelife and come back later and want to 'be friends again'.
Dear friends and family who are so full of your own BULLSHIT, you'd rather have me believe I'm fucking CRAZY than face the steaming pile of nonsense you just shat into my lap: GO FUCK YOURSELF.
Quote from: navkat on March 22, 2012, 10:39:27 PM
Dear friends and family who are so full of your own BULLSHIT, you'd rather have me believe I'm fucking CRAZY than face the steaming pile of nonsense you just shat into my lap: GO FUCK YOURSELF.
But you are nuts, Navvie.
Of course, this doesn't mean they AREN'T full of shit.
If I take a shit on the sofa and you sit in it and punch me in the face, I would say "You know, I probably deserved that." I would NOT scream "WHAT SHIT, YOU FUCKING NUTTER? I SMELL NO SHIT HERE, YOU MUST BE NUTS."
Because, you know, I shit on the couch.
EVEN BETTER: when motherfuckers back up the first asshole and scream "There's no shit here. WHY ARE YOU SO PARANOID?"
Quote from: navkat on March 22, 2012, 11:12:58 PM
If I take a shit on the sofa and you sit in it and punch me in the face, I would say "You know, I probably deserved that." I would NOT scream "WHAT SHIT, YOU FUCKING NUTTER? I SMELL NO SHIT HERE, YOU MUST BE NUTS."
Because, you know, I shit on the couch.
This is why you aren't a banker.
If I blamed the shit on you and punched you in the fayce, I'd be a banker.
Quote from: navkat on March 22, 2012, 11:23:39 PM
If I blamed the shit on you and punched you in the fayce, I'd be a banker.
"YOU fed ME that cheeseburger, so it's YOUR fault that I shat on the couch. I'm going to punch you in the face, and if you don't pay to have the couch professionally cleaned this instant you're going to jail. Also, the couch belongs to me now."
-CEO of NavBank
Quote from: Cainad on March 23, 2012, 04:01:01 AM
Quote from: navkat on March 22, 2012, 11:23:39 PM
If I blamed the shit on you and punched you in the fayce, I'd be a banker.
"YOU fed ME that cheeseburger, so it's YOUR fault that I shat on the couch. I'm going to punch you in the face, and if you don't pay to have the couch professionally cleaned this instant you're going to jail. Also, the couch belongs to me now."
-CEO of NavBank
What's happening?!
I just wanted to withdraw five bucks!
THIS TURD IS TOO BIG TO FAIL.
JUST BECAUSE YOU LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE THAT I LIVE IN DOES NOT MEAN THAT I WANT TO HEAR YOUR NONSTOP INANE RAMBLING ABOUT WHAT YOUR DOG IS OR IS NOT EATING I DO NOT CARE
SHUT UP
FUCK YOU I'M SICK.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 22, 2012, 10:51:51 PM
Quote from: navkat on March 22, 2012, 10:39:27 PM
Dear friends and family who are so full of your own BULLSHIT, you'd rather have me believe I'm fucking CRAZY than face the steaming pile of nonsense you just shat into my lap: GO FUCK YOURSELF.
But you are nuts, Navvie.
Of course, this doesn't mean they AREN'T full of shit.
How's the song go? Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not fucking pricks?
I don't care that I have no idea what you're saying; shut the fuck up. This is a goddamn library and your yapping is not fucking welcome.
"What the fuck do you mean you had a panic attack, and subsequently have a $3500 (USD) medical bill for it?"
Quote from: 1SwellFOop on March 27, 2012, 10:25:56 PM
"What the fuck do you mean you had a panic attack, and subsequently have a $3500 (USD) medical bill for it?"
That one is easy. Many people mistake their first panic attack for a heart attack. The ER is going to treat it as one until they know differently.
That racks up expenses fast.
^^^BEEN THERE. Fortunately, I was still in the military, and therefore, covered by Unca Scroo--I mean Uncle Sam when I got my first OHMYGODI'MDYING.
Unfortunately, they didn't tell ME what it was, they just tried to send me back to my rack with a bottle of Klonopin and (I'm sure) 800 mg Motrin. They prescribe 800 mg Motrin for everything.
Quote from: navkat on March 28, 2012, 01:14:31 AM
^^^BEEN THERE. Fortunately, I was still in the military, and therefore, covered by Unca Scroo--I mean Uncle Sam when I got my first OHMYGODI'MDYING.
Unfortunately, they didn't tell ME what it was, they just tried to send me back to my rack with a bottle of Klonopin and (I'm sure) 800 mg Motrin. They prescribe 800 mg Motrin for everything.
Traumatically amputated leg?
Motrin. Food powder for the other foot. Move the fuck out.
^^^That in itself is a fantastic rant. Here's another one:
COMRATS? WHY IN FUCK'S BOTULISM-INFECTED VAGINA WOULD I NEED COMRATS? I FUCKING LOVE RECONSTITUTED EGG-FOOD!
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 27, 2012, 10:30:39 PM
That one is easy. Many people mistake their first panic attack for a heart attack. The ER is going to treat it as one until they know differently.
That racks up expenses fast.
upon further
interrogationinvestigation, she did think she was having a heart attack. and she is around 60 years old
Quote from: 1SwellFOop on March 28, 2012, 04:26:24 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 27, 2012, 10:30:39 PM
That one is easy. Many people mistake their first panic attack for a heart attack. The ER is going to treat it as one until they know differently.
That racks up expenses fast.
upon further interrogationinvestigation, she did think she was having a heart attack. and she is around 60 years old
Then she acted in a prudent manner. The first hour after a heart attack is crucial. People who tough it out for a while, so to speak, usually wind up dying within 2 years, due to the damage the heart takes.
Fuck yeah, gramma. Most people are in denial for 2 hours before they say "Hey, this chest pain that isn't going away and feels like the entire cast of Oompa-loompas are sending off Augustus Gloop inside my ribcage might be something srs."
Then I get to work out my arms and pecs and you die.
I don't wanna constrain my rants to one sentence! One-sentencism is the cancer that is killing PD! If I limit my rant to a single sentence, I might as well post it on Twitter or Facebook! I am a man, not an arbitrary number limit! I will not be told to shorten my rants for your ADHD suffering generation of lackwits and spoonfeed fools! AAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
Quote from: Cain on March 28, 2012, 05:07:49 PM
I don't wanna constrain my rants to one sentence! One-sentencism is the cancer that is killing PD! If I limit my rant to a single sentence, I might as well post it on Twitter or Facebook! I am a man, not an arbitrary number limit! I will not be told to shorten my rants for your ADHD suffering generation of lackwits and spoonfeed fools! AAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
This.
Dok,
One word ranter.
Most human beings don't approach being human as an artform - this is why most human beings are pointless shit.
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on March 31, 2012, 05:09:36 PM
Most human beings don't approach being human as an artform - this is why most human beings are pointless shit.
That's actually my philosophy of art in a nutshell.
Bread and circus = Fast food and smartphones.
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on March 27, 2012, 06:41:46 PM
I don't care that I have no idea what you're saying; shut the fuck up. This is a goddamn library and your yapping is not fucking welcome.
I hereby declare my personal space a library and you all will speak softly in my erudite presence!
Next libertard I meet WILL have a pound of butter shoved up their arse with a red-hot needle.
.
Quote from: inode_buddha on April 24, 2012, 04:24:23 AM
Next libertard I meet WILL have a pound of butter shoved up their arse with a red-hot needle.
.
If the needle is hot, how do you get the butter to...O wai...
Quote from: navkat on April 24, 2012, 04:30:01 AM
Quote from: inode_buddha on April 24, 2012, 04:24:23 AM
Next libertard I meet WILL have a pound of butter shoved up their arse with a red-hot needle.
.
If the needle is hot, how do you get the butter to...O wai...
A little at a time. It took me many years of dealing with bureaucracy (disability) to develop the right sort of patience to do this...
Not me! I went and got me an ice cream scoop. Only it's not BUTTER, I'm a-scoopin and it ain't goin up the arse!
"The first Occupy Tai Chi in Jefferson Park occurred this morning at 9:15 am. In attendance was Karl, Jimmy, Nashville John, David Barfield and the instructor Linda. Hopefully next week there will be more in attendance. Linda teaches Slow and easy and is always encouraging. She constantly expresses to not do more than you are able to do."
(was hoping to come up with some zany quip to accompany this quote, but..............)
sidenote #2 - I just came from reading the anti-environmentalism thread & my brain has been giving everything the finger all day....
apologies in advance for dumping this in the wrong thread....the last time I vented in my local circle about things of this nature, you'd thought I just raped a kitten...
now to go recycle...
Quote from: LizKing531 on April 24, 2012, 05:17:28 PM
"The first Occupy Tai Chi in Jefferson Park occurred this morning at 9:15 am. In attendance was Karl, Jimmy, Nashville John, David Barfield and the instructor Linda. Hopefully next week there will be more in attendance. Linda teaches Slow and easy and is always encouraging. She constantly expresses to not do more than you are able to do."
What the hell? :lulz:
Quote from: LizKing531 on April 24, 2012, 05:17:28 PM
"The first Occupy Tai Chi in Jefferson Park occurred this morning at 9:15 am. In attendance was Karl, Jimmy, Nashville John, David Barfield and the instructor Linda. Hopefully next week there will be more in attendance. Linda teaches Slow and easy and is always encouraging. She constantly expresses to not do more than you are able to do."
:lulz: I don't know what's going on here, but I like it.
Tough times show you who your true blah blah blah cliche yes whatever, but it is so fucking apt right now, APT i tell you... so just leave because who didn't see this one coming, right.
When the elevator makes more than three stops, if you say "heh, this must be the local", I will fill the entire elevator with vomit before we reach your goddamn floor.
WHY THE FUCKETY-FUCK DOES LIFE HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING PAINFUL?
Hey you newage dipshit, no, a stupid kid wrecking my wife on her bike is not a message fro. GOD that she should no longer play bike Polo, and no, I don't have to believe that life is a lesson so we can reincarnated higher, and NO RAPE VICTIMS TO NOT HAVE TO OFFER UNCONDITIONAL LOVE TO THEIR RAPIST SO THEY NEVER HAVE TO EXPERIENCE RAPE AGAIN YOU DAFFY,STUPID, FUZZY MINDED PIECE OF SHIT.
Quote from: Alty on July 17, 2013, 09:24:25 PM
Hey you newage dipshit, no, a stupid kid wrecking my wife on her bike is not a message fro. GOD that she should no longer play bike Polo, and no, I don't have to believe that life is a lesson so we can reincarnated higher, and NO RAPE VICTIMS TO NOT HAVE TO OFFER UNCONDITIONAL LOVE TO THEIR RAPIST SO THEY NEVER HAVE TO EXPERIENCE RAPE AGAIN YOU DAFFY,STUPID, FUZZY MINDED PIECE OF SHIT.
Wait. What?
Quote from: Alty on July 17, 2013, 09:24:25 PM
Hey you newage dipshit, no, a stupid kid wrecking my wife on her bike is not a message fro. GOD that she should no longer play bike Polo, and no, I don't have to believe that life is a lesson so we can reincarnated higher, and NO RAPE VICTIMS TO NOT HAVE TO OFFER UNCONDITIONAL LOVE TO THEIR RAPIST SO THEY NEVER HAVE TO EXPERIENCE RAPE AGAIN YOU DAFFY,STUPID, FUZZY MINDED PIECE OF SHIT.
I find myself wanting to stab things now.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 17, 2013, 09:30:10 PM
Quote from: Alty on July 17, 2013, 09:24:25 PM
Hey you newage dipshit, no, a stupid kid wrecking my wife on her bike is not a message fro. GOD that she should no longer play bike Polo, and no, I don't have to believe that life is a lesson so we can reincarnated higher, and NO RAPE VICTIMS TO NOT HAVE TO OFFER UNCONDITIONAL LOVE TO THEIR RAPIST SO THEY NEVER HAVE TO EXPERIENCE RAPE AGAIN YOU DAFFY,STUPID, FUZZY MINDED PIECE OF SHIT.
Wait. What?
I put the bit about the wreck in the bar, this came from some EX client of mine. Never working omitted her again which will make her cry because, "No one else ever touches the lats, nobody."
Yeah, well, you can start a new fucking search.
It's that same, shitty newage victim blaming.
Quote from: Alty on July 17, 2013, 10:32:35 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 17, 2013, 09:30:10 PM
Quote from: Alty on July 17, 2013, 09:24:25 PM
Hey you newage dipshit, no, a stupid kid wrecking my wife on her bike is not a message fro. GOD that she should no longer play bike Polo, and no, I don't have to believe that life is a lesson so we can reincarnated higher, and NO RAPE VICTIMS TO NOT HAVE TO OFFER UNCONDITIONAL LOVE TO THEIR RAPIST SO THEY NEVER HAVE TO EXPERIENCE RAPE AGAIN YOU DAFFY,STUPID, FUZZY MINDED PIECE OF SHIT.
Wait. What?
I put the bit about the wreck in the bar, this came from some EX client of mine. Never working omitted her again which will make her cry because, "No one else ever touches the lats, nobody."
Yeah, well, you can start a new fucking search.
Did she really say that about rape victims? For real?
Quote from: Alty on July 17, 2013, 10:41:56 PM
It's that same, shitty newage victim blaming.
CHAKRAS MISALIGNED. RAPE ENSUES.
She said her bullshit, I brought up rape.
She said, "if you believe that each life is a lesson, and ultimately yourealize the point of that lesson is unconditional love, then you have to have unconditional love for yourself as a rape victim, and unconditional love for the rapist, ever though their behavior is abhorrent, of course "
Then she said, after I silently massaged, "I've stired you up again."
Never again.
Quote from: Alty on July 17, 2013, 10:46:57 PM
She said her bullshit, I brought up rape.
She said, "if you believe that each life is a lesson, and ultimately yourealize the point of that lesson is unconditional love, then you have to have unconditional love for yourself as a rape victim, and unconditional love for the rapist, ever though their behavior is abhorrent, of course "
Then she said, after I silently massaged, "I've stired you up again."
Never again.
HELLO, STARSHINE MCPRIVILEGE! PLEASE TO GET OFF OF BENCH AND OUT OF STORE.
I was late for our appointment, stI'll freaking out over the wreck, and she complained after I told her what happened, that her Spa day was ruined because her electrolysis guy cancelled and I was late. And she's getting on a plane at five for a getaway.
NEVER.
Quote from: Alty on July 17, 2013, 10:50:48 PM
I was late for our appointment, stI'll freaking out over the wreck, and she complained after I told her what happened, that her Spa day was ruined because her electrolysis guy cancelled and I was late. And she's getting on a plane at five for a getaway.
NEVER.
The poor darling.
When are You Peasants going to realize what the real priorities are, here?
Quote from: Alty on July 17, 2013, 09:24:25 PM
Hey you newage dipshit, no, a stupid kid wrecking my wife on her bike is not a message fro. GOD that she should no longer play bike Polo, and no, I don't have to believe that life is a lesson so we can reincarnated higher, and NO RAPE VICTIMS TO NOT HAVE TO OFFER UNCONDITIONAL LOVE TO THEIR RAPIST SO THEY NEVER HAVE TO EXPERIENCE RAPE AGAIN YOU DAFFY,STUPID, FUZZY MINDED PIECE OF SHIT.
Sounds like a quick, painless drowning is in order.
Quote from: Alty on July 17, 2013, 10:41:56 PM
It's that same, shitty newage victim blaming.
It's the Just World Fallacy, where people who have it good tell themselves that people get what they
deserve, in order to themselves feel righteous and safe.
Sounds like she needs a good old fashioned Texas ass whooping. I would have given her the best massage ever! So she'd forget about her getaway. She would start crying about her being two hours late, and I would tell her it's the universe trying to teach her a lesson.
GOD DAMN FUCKING HIPPIES!!!
Quote from: /b/earman on July 17, 2013, 11:07:16 PM
Sounds like she needs a good old fashioned Texas ass whooping. I would have given her the best massage ever! So she'd forget about her getaway. She would start crying about her being two hours late, and I would tell her it's the universe trying to teach her a lesson.
GOD DAMN FUCKING HIPPIES!!!
This is a really good point. If her day is ruined, what is the universe trying to tell her? Maybe to be less of a self-absorbed piece of shit?
Quote from: Alty on July 17, 2013, 10:50:48 PM
I was late for our appointment, stI'll freaking out over the wreck, and she complained after I told her what happened, that her Spa day was ruined because her electrolysis guy cancelled and I was late. And she's getting on a plane at five for a getaway.
NEVER.
How do you touch these people without strangling them? I am seriously in awe here.
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on July 17, 2013, 11:10:48 PM
Quote from: /b/earman on July 17, 2013, 11:07:16 PM
Sounds like she needs a good old fashioned Texas ass whooping. I would have given her the best massage ever! So she'd forget about her getaway. She would start crying about her being two hours late, and I would tell her it's the universe trying to teach her a lesson.
GOD DAMN FUCKING HIPPIES!!!
This is a really good point. If her day is ruined, what is the universe trying to tell her? Maybe to be less of a self-absorbed piece of shit?
I just love that her DAY IS RUINED.
Kids in Africa don't have it as bad as her.
All her complaints are like that.
CPD: I learned a long time ago that I can absolutely massage people I loathe, even on a purely personal level.
Quote from: Alty on July 17, 2013, 11:15:05 PM
All her complaints are like that.
CPD: I learned a long time ago that I can absolutely massage people I loathe, even on a purely personal level.
If I could do that,
I'd never leave the house!
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 17, 2013, 10:47:45 PM
Quote from: Alty on July 17, 2013, 10:46:57 PM
She said her bullshit, I brought up rape.
She said, "if you believe that each life is a lesson, and ultimately yourealize the point of that lesson is unconditional love, then you have to have unconditional love for yourself as a rape victim, and unconditional love for the rapist, ever though their behavior is abhorrent, of course "
Then she said, after I silently massaged, "I've stired you up again."
Never again.
HELLO, STARSHINE MCPRIVILEGE! PLEASE TO GET OFF OF BENCH AND OUT OF STORE.
I'm going to print this on fancy cards and hand them to people like this.
Quote from: Alty on July 17, 2013, 11:15:05 PM
All her complaints are like that.
CPD: I learned a long time ago that I can absolutely massage people I loathe, even on a purely personal level.
That's amazing.
Well, it's at the core of My Discordia.
Massage showed me this and reaffirms it every day: we are meat. The more you're aware of this, the better you are.
That stupid piece of shit is just as meaty as I am, our brains just took different paths. Doesn't mean I have to do it anymore. One of the reasons I'm self employed is to decide who I want to work with.
Also, I can massage in a lot of conditions.
Quote from: Alty on July 17, 2013, 11:22:22 PM
Also, I can massage in a lot of conditions.
WOULD YOU, COULD YOU, ON A BOAT?
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 17, 2013, 11:23:20 PM
Quote from: Alty on July 17, 2013, 11:22:22 PM
Also, I can massage in a lot of conditions.
WOULD YOU, COULD YOU, ON A BOAT?
I WOULD, I WOULD, ON A BOAT.
I COULD PROVIDE CROSS FIBER FRICTION IN A MOAT.
When you receive an email from me telling you I am late for work because "I am working on some thongs for a client," please assume that I said that because the O is too close to the I on the keyboard before assuming that I am literally working on thongs for a client.
Quote from: V3X on July 17, 2013, 11:55:33 PM
When you receive an email from me telling you I am late for work because "I am working on some thongs for a client," please assume that I said that because the O is too close to the I on the keyboard before assuming that I am literally working on thongs for a client.
You make me sad.
Quote from: Alty on July 17, 2013, 09:24:25 PM
Hey you newage dipshit, no, a stupid kid wrecking my wife on her bike is not a message fro. GOD that she should no longer play bike Polo, and no, I don't have to believe that life is a lesson so we can reincarnated higher, and NO RAPE VICTIMS TO NOT HAVE TO OFFER UNCONDITIONAL LOVE TO THEIR RAPIST SO THEY NEVER HAVE TO EXPERIENCE RAPE AGAIN YOU DAFFY,STUPID, FUZZY MINDED PIECE OF SHIT.
wow, what a fucking asshole.
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on July 17, 2013, 11:06:03 PM
It's the Just World Fallacy, where people who have it good tell themselves that people get what they deserve, in order to themselves feel righteous and safe.
I usually get it from the evangelical loonies, but have gotten it from new-age loonies too.
So I guess if they inspire me to club them mercilessly with my steel tea thermos, they deserved it. :evil:
Quote from: hylierandom, A.D.D. on July 18, 2013, 03:06:30 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on July 17, 2013, 11:06:03 PM
It's the Just World Fallacy, where people who have it good tell themselves that people get what they deserve, in order to themselves feel righteous and safe.
I usually get it from the evangelical loonies, but have gotten it from new-age loonies too.
So I guess if they inspire me to club them mercilessly with my steel tea thermos, they deserved it. :evil:
Read "Celestine prophecy" Twice if you need to (yes that's what it said, with a straight face - you didn't imagine it!)
You now have an acid test when interacting with people who look new agey and seem a bit twat.
You: "Have you read celestine prophecy?"
Them: "Oooooh yes. That book changed my life. It's just so troofy goodness..."
PROFIT and/or LULZ
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on July 18, 2013, 09:21:19 AM
Quote from: hylierandom, A.D.D. on July 18, 2013, 03:06:30 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on July 17, 2013, 11:06:03 PM
It's the Just World Fallacy, where people who have it good tell themselves that people get what they deserve, in order to themselves feel righteous and safe.
I usually get it from the evangelical loonies, but have gotten it from new-age loonies too.
So I guess if they inspire me to club them mercilessly with my steel tea thermos, they deserved it. :evil:
Read "Celestine prophecy" Twice if you need to (yes that's what it said, with a straight face - you didn't imagine it!)
You now have an acid test when interacting with people who look new agey and seem a bit twat.
You: "Have you read celestine prophecy?"
Them: "Oooooh yes. That book changed my life. It's just so troofy goodness..."
PROFIT and/or LULZ
I use Celestine Prophecy and anything by Carlos Castaneda as red flags when I'm looking at OK Cupid profiles. It's not just that the philosophy is shit, it's that they're so poorly written it's impossible for me to comprehend how they could be anyone's favorite books.
No you can't fucking have a 20% discount just because you're choosing to ignore what the fucking details of the online coupon are, you fucking incoherent ass garbler.
Look, fuckface, you are about to find out just how wrong you are about my "good aura", I don't care if you cried like a baby during a Hungarian ballet version of Romeo and Juliet, just STFU and hand me the results of my bloodtest you are taking 15 thousand minutes to fold and shove in an envelope so you can flirt with me.
Quote from: Alty on March 28, 2014, 05:53:37 AM
Look, fuckface, you are about to find out just how wrong you are about my "good aura", I don't care if you cried like a baby during a Hungarian ballet version of Romeo and Juliet, just STFU and hand me the results of my bloodtest you are taking 15 thousand minutes to fold and shove in an envelope so you can flirt with me.
I have a good aura. It isn't visible, of course. But if your nose works, you will occasionally witness it. Especially if I've had the triple-bean special down at Juan's Botulism Shack.
My aura is strongest on a Friday afternoon when I haven't had time to shower since Sunday.
My ass hurts!
We aren't allowed to install software on our school computers because it could "threaten the integrity of the computer or computer system," BUT YOU HAVE THE NETBIOS PORT OPEN ON EVERY FUCKING COMPUTLER, AND YOU DISABLED THE COMMAND PROMPT WITHOUT DISABLING BATCH FILES, AND YOU HAVE THE LOWEST-RATED ANTIVIRUS PROGRAM INSTALLED ON ALL OF THESE COMLUTERS!? I guess computilater security isn't a prerequisite to an Information Technology degree...
Listen you wanna-be hippie punks, we wanted to go to your festival and were taken aback by how a self-described Eco-conscious event dedicated most of it's literature to laws of conduct and waste disposal protocols, and, for reasons completely unrelated, we will probably not be attending, although it makes us feel better not to be up against dealing with your fasciist bullshit, amen.
Quote from: LuciferX on May 23, 2014, 08:07:08 AM
Listen you wanna-be hippie punks, we wanted to go to your festival and were taken aback by how a self-described Eco-conscious event dedicated most of it's literature to laws of conduct and waste disposal protocols, and, for reasons completely unrelated, we will probably not be attending, although it makes us feel better not to be up against dealing with your fasciist bullshit, amen.
wat
Biologists need to stop fucking talking about evolution using war metaphors; there are no "risky evolutionary strategies" or "conflicting interests" in evolution, because THERE IS NO FORETHOUGHT.
Reminds me of this:
(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/teaching_physics.png)
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on May 23, 2014, 07:11:41 PM
Reminds me of this:
(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/teaching_physics.png)
It's just that it's an entirely inappropriate metaphor. Exciting, but completely and utterly wrong and the absolute most backwards way of looking at it. The way evolution is usually talked about is along the lines of "they developed these adaptations, so they survived", but the correct way of viewing it is "the survivors all had these mutations, and that's how they adapted". This might sound really nitpicky, but the backward view really screws things up when you start talking about sexual reproduction and the adaptations that optimize fetal development in humans. They are written about as if there's an "arms race" (this exact term has been used over and over again) between male and female to maximize their own interests. This is not only not true, but it literally CANNOT BE TRUE unless we scrap everything we know about evolution and start from scratch with a completely different set of assumptions about what drives it. The "Arms race" perspective necessitates the assumption of intelligent design. The reality of fetal development is that the fetus which has the best checks and balances system is the one which is most likely to survive; it's not an arms race, but a finely-honed cooperative balance in which the system which produces a placenta that is maximized to absorb nutrients from the mother while restrained from taking too many nutrients is the system that will produce the most surviving offspring. Since "too much" varies from woman to woman, the optimal system is one in which the placenta grows as much as it can until the woman's body tells it to stop.
But that's not as exciting as depicting it as a DNA-level war of the sexes, and this is pervasive throughout the scientific literature.
I get you. It's an easy narrative to fall into, and as such shouldn't be promoted by the literature.
JESUS FUCK YOU DO NOT GIVE THE POLICE PERMISSION TO SEARCH YOUR VEHICLE WHEN YOU KNOW YOU HAVE ILLEGAL SHIT UNDER THE GODDAMN SEAT (OR FUCKING EVER, PERIOD) YOU FUCKING MORON!!
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 23, 2014, 03:41:10 PM
Quote from: LuciferX on May 23, 2014, 08:07:08 AM
Listen you wanna-be hippie punks...
wat
Had to miss some festivities because dog ICU - herniated diaphragm - all better now: shit's all in place, still, hope it mends well.
Quote from: All-Father Nigel on May 23, 2014, 06:56:37 PM
Biologists need to stop fucking talking about evolution using war metaphors; there are no "risky evolutionary strategies" or "conflicting interests" in evolution, because THERE IS NO FORETHOUGHT.
Evolution is just a degenerate expression of entropy, obviating the teleology of dispersion :lulz:
Quote from: LuciferX on May 25, 2014, 02:08:37 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 23, 2014, 03:41:10 PM
Quote from: LuciferX on May 23, 2014, 08:07:08 AM
Listen you wanna-be hippie punks...
wat
Had to miss some festivities because dog ICU - herniated diaphragm - all better now: shit's all in place, still, hope it mends well.
Shit, hope your dog's OK!
Quote from: All-Father Nigel on May 25, 2014, 06:15:27 PM
Quote from: LuciferX on May 25, 2014, 02:08:37 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 23, 2014, 03:41:10 PM
Quote from: LuciferX on May 23, 2014, 08:07:08 AM
Listen you wanna-be hippie punks...
wat
Had to miss some festivities because dog ICU - herniated diaphragm - all better now: shit's all in place, still, hope it mends well.
Shit, hope your dog's OK!
Is good now, was a little worried for a second. Given the surgery and all the Meds, he actually doing real good :)
COSMIC TRIGGER WARNING
Quote from: Cramulus on May 28, 2014, 05:23:42 PM
COSMIC TRIGGER WARNING
I'm reporting your icon to central committee, meanwhile, is that Cosmic Trigger thing suggested reading? (I was raised by vulgate wolves that disapproved of the written word) :aww:
Quote from: All-Father Nigel on May 23, 2014, 07:30:55 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on May 23, 2014, 07:11:41 PM
Reminds me of this:
(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/teaching_physics.png)
It's just that it's an entirely inappropriate metaphor. Exciting, but completely and utterly wrong and the absolute most backwards way of looking at it. The way evolution is usually talked about is along the lines of "they developed these adaptations, so they survived", but the correct way of viewing it is "the survivors all had these mutations, and that's how they adapted". This might sound really nitpicky, but the backward view really screws things up when you start talking about sexual reproduction and the adaptations that optimize fetal development in humans. They are written about as if there's an "arms race" (this exact term has been used over and over again) between male and female to maximize their own interests. This is not only not true, but it literally CANNOT BE TRUE unless we scrap everything we know about evolution and start from scratch with a completely different set of assumptions about what drives it. The "Arms race" perspective necessitates the assumption of intelligent design. The reality of fetal development is that the fetus which has the best checks and balances system is the one which is most likely to survive; it's not an arms race, but a finely-honed cooperative balance in which the system which produces a placenta that is maximized to absorb nutrients from the mother while restrained from taking too many nutrients is the system that will produce the most surviving offspring. Since "too much" varies from woman to woman, the optimal system is one in which the placenta grows as much as it can until the woman's body tells it to stop.
But that's not as exciting as depicting it as a DNA-level war of the sexes, and this is pervasive throughout the scientific literature.
No, we already had this conversation. The illustration of how gravity curves space-time, using the effect of gravity on a ball rolling into an invaginated plane, simply, will not do the trick. It's like a circular argument that presupposes it's conclusion. Teachers of physics, beware. :lulz:
Re:CT.
"Serendipitously" found that (tyvm). Just a skim and already found me my new favorite Sufi quote!
Quote from: LuciferX on May 31, 2014, 08:02:06 AM
Quote from: Cramulus on May 28, 2014, 05:23:42 PM
COSMIC TRIGGER WARNING
I'm reporting your icon to central committee, meanwhile, is that Cosmic Trigger thing suggested reading? (I was raised by vulgate wolves that disapproved of the written word) :aww:
It's kind of a more personal version of Prometheus Rising
if that answers your question
Quote from: Cramulus on June 02, 2014, 02:35:17 PM
Quote from: LuciferX on May 31, 2014, 08:02:06 AM
Quote from: Cramulus on May 28, 2014, 05:23:42 PM
COSMIC TRIGGER WARNING
I'm reporting your icon to central committee, meanwhile, is that Cosmic Trigger thing suggested reading? (I was raised by vulgate wolves that disapproved of the written word) :aww:
It's kind of a more personal version of Prometheus Rising
if that answers your question
Awesome, I enjoyed Prometheus Rising, and used to have an original paperback :)
Thanks for the sausage links :fnord:
Boojums.
Quote from: Faux Lix on June 08, 2014, 03:01:29 AM
Boojums.
OK, you know what? You're an unfunny asshole.
Or the most wondrous wanderlust cat?
Don't sue me.
Nope. Definitely an unfunny asshole.
:emoticon that expresses my TRUE feelings:
Ei, look, we got a comedian here. Rare form, really.
The Machine is a girl and her name is Eris.
Quote from: Passionario on July 31, 2014, 03:36:07 PM
The Machine is a girl and her name is Eris.
Quite possibly. Or maybe Moloch (http://slatestarcodex.com/2014/07/30/meditations-on-moloch/).
The problem with multiple identities is not noticing when you lost one.
Quote from: Cain on July 31, 2014, 06:30:51 PM
Quote from: Passionario on July 31, 2014, 03:36:07 PM
The Machine is a girl and her name is Eris.
Quite possibly. Or maybe Moloch (http://slatestarcodex.com/2014/07/30/meditations-on-moloch/).
I am at V. this is great.
"opportunity was intended to drive one kilometer"
I love Christmas time. It's the one time of the year that school children sing about drinking (Here We Go A Wassailing) and people kiss under parasites, as the mistletoe is a parasitic plant.
Quote from: Water Bear Warrior on August 18, 2014, 03:27:22 AM
I love Christmas time. It's the one time of the year that school children sing about drinking (Here We Go A Wassailing) and people kiss under parasites, as the mistletoe is a parasitic plant.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Humans are the ritual parasite of tradition.