Similar to "First World Problems", but instead of gripes, post something you saw or did that was uniquely American.
For example, I went to the gym yesterday, and the upper parking lot was full. I found myself getting angry that I had to walk an extra 100 yards to get to the gym entrance, to get on the treadmill.
Last Saturday I went to a chinese buffet that made me sick. It was terrible.
Then on Sunday I went to a different one to "make up" for it.
I won't go to the fast food places down the street from my house because I don't want to deal with the bums that hang out there looking for handouts. NOT because I don't like the food.
I saw a perfectly healthy person park in a handicapped space and didn't do a damn thing about it.
I packed a lunch today, but went out and bought lunch anyway.
My housemate brought home two unopened cases of snack mix yesterday that were left over from Rose Festival, and were going to be thrown away.
There's this pizza place I've discovered that makes the best fucking pizza EVAR. I have been craving their "New Orleans" pizza for about 2-3 days now. I was going to make it a b-day present to myself (I'm going to be spending it alone, working), but I'm finding the more I put it off, the more I REALLY FUCKING WANT THAT PIZZA.
So despite the fact I keep complaining about my ballooning weight, I am probably going to indulge myself, because, you know, you only live once, etc. And I have a tendency to eat every other fucking thing to get away from the craving, anyway, which is a very unsatisfactory practice to begin with.
"New Orleans" pizza eh? Do they put extra oil in the pan when they cook it?
Dunno...but it's made with chorizo, red peppers and something else I can't remember BUT REALLY WANT IN MAH BELLEH
Even though I finished all my work at 11:30,
I still have to hang out here until 5 PM. :argh!:
Quote from: Cramulus on June 17, 2010, 08:17:32 PM
Even though I finished all my work at 11:30,
I still have to hang out here until 5 PM. :argh!:
That's more of a first world problem, not a blatant act of America on your part (or the witnessing thereof).
In the real America when you finish your work the boss fires someone so you can do their work too.
I had enough money to gas up my truck, and there is a gas station only a few blocks away, but i made an extra-long trip to go to the bank to get 20 dollars just to buy a bag of rubber bands for less than a dollar.
Quote from: Professor Freeky on June 17, 2010, 09:45:21 PM
I had enough money to gas up my truck, and there is a gas station only a few blocks away, but i made an extra-long trip to go to the bank to get 20 dollars just to buy a bag of rubber bands for less than a dollar.
:lol: Freeky, that's SOOO American. :lol:
I will often go 5 minutes out of my way to get to a drive thru that sells food for $1 (like Taco Hell) if I'm in a "hurry" but STARVING and nowhere near home, while out doing errands (time is short between my shifts and getting my kids from school).
Quote from: Jenne on June 17, 2010, 08:02:33 PM
Dunno...but it's made with chorizo, red peppers and something else I can't remember BUT REALLY WANT IN MAH BELLEH
Chourico is not New Orleans! :argh!:
...But damn that sounds yummy, no matter what they call it.
...GODDAMNIT NOW I WANT TO GO TO FALL RIVER FOR CHOURICO AND PEPPERS! WOMAN!
Today I met an 8 year old with an eating disorder that weighs only slightly more than my 3 1/2 year old. :|
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on June 18, 2010, 06:43:21 PM
Today I met an 8 year old with an eating disorder that weighs only slightly more than my 3 1/2 year old. :|
That sounds more like a Mali moment. :sad:
The neighbor bitch called the cops on the kids from the street last night for shooting off bottle rockets. MY children were the only ones she "saw" but she told them there might be others.
17 kids outside doing this and mine are the only ones she saw.
Best part? My kids didn't have any bottle rockets because I refused to buy them any.
I ordered a chickenburger with fries and a caesar salad.
Once I had gotten to the salad (which I normally quite enjoy), I was full :sad:
Quote from: Remington on June 18, 2010, 06:57:36 PM
I ordered a chickenburger with fries and a caesar salad.
You could have stopped there.
But it would be even MORE American if you had said:
Quote from: Remington on June 18, 2010, 06:57:36 PM
I ordered a baconchickenmeatburger with sooper sized chili-cheese fries and a diet coke.
Quote from: Khara on June 18, 2010, 06:51:16 PM
The neighbor bitch called the cops on the kids from the street last night for shooting off bottle rockets having/attending a good time.
This was the moment. The rest could have happened anywhere.
I didn't vote in the Maine primaries but I complained when the guy I wanted to win, didn't.
Although I'm perpetually in danger of being underweight, I have often had the desire to ride a WalMart-style mobility scooter.
Quote from: Remington on June 18, 2010, 08:03:08 PM
Although I'm perpetually in danger of being underweight,
Not an American, unless you happen to be a Cosmopolitan Magazine model.
Quote from: Remington on June 18, 2010, 08:03:08 PM
Although I'm perpetually in danger of being underweight, I have often had the desire to ride a WalMart-style mobility scooter.
Also, I'd like to add that the very concept of a "mobility scooter" as a means of transporting morbidly obese people around makes me want to put on oil skin clothes, hoist a harpoon, and start ranting that "I would strike the sun itself, were it to insult me".
Yesterday I drove past several large free streetcorner TVs because we already have enough giant TVs in our house, but I stopped to pick up a little one because I thought my 10-year-old might want to hook up his X-Box in his room.
OK, so. This thing that goes on with TVs. Is this commonplace in other countries? Our streets are littered with perfectly functional televisions just because they are tube instead of LCD, aren't wide-screen, and don't have HDTV tuners. Big ones; I've seen some 42" TVs with a sign that says "WORKS!" sitting on curbsides.
Uh, I constantly find myself slipping into Spanish when I try to speak French. It's pretty embarrasing, actually. Dunno if it's "American", but it's typically Anglo-Saxon.
Quote from: Nigel on June 18, 2010, 08:11:36 PM
Yesterday I drove past several large free streetcorner TVs because we already have enough giant TVs in our house, but I stopped to pick up a little one because I thought my 10-year-old might want to hook up his X-Box in his room.
OK, so. This thing that goes on with TVs. Is this commonplace in other countries? Our streets are littered with perfectly functional televisions just because they are tube instead of LCD, aren't wide-screen, and don't have HDTV tuners. Big ones; I've seen some 42" TVs with a sign that says "WORKS!" sitting on curbsides.
It beats paying for the disposal, I guess, considering that you can't just throw them away.
And it's easier than hauling it down to Goodwill, where someone might benefit from it.
So, yeah, that's pretty fucking American.
Quote from: Cain on June 18, 2010, 08:11:37 PM
Uh, I constantly find myself slipping into Spanish when I try to speak French. It's pretty embarrasing, actually. Dunno if it's "American", but it's typically Anglo-Saxon.
The fact that you speak more than one language disqualifies you from being an American.
The fact that you speak at least 3 languages (English, French, Spanish) bars you from entry.
Americans are forbidden to speak more Spanish than exists on the Taco Bell menu, and any French at all. When we try, it comes out as, say, "parlayz vews frankass, monsewer?" or "hayblay aspannyol, senior?".
There are actually quite a few Americans here. I haven't seen them in linguistic action so far, but it's only a matter of time.
Good thing most of the Genevese speak English.
Quote from: Cain on June 18, 2010, 08:30:10 PM
There are actually quite a few Americans here. I haven't seen them in linguistic action so far, but it's only a matter of time.
Good thing most of the Genevese speak English.
Language + chipper = American tourist.
Watching them deal with the traffic is fun, too. Geneva has some very narrow streets, plenty of trams and buses, and car hire/taxis are incredibly expensive. And they drive here like Italians, the locals.
Quote from: Cain on June 18, 2010, 08:40:03 PM
Watching them deal with the traffic is fun, too. Geneva has some very narrow streets, plenty of trams and buses, and car hire/taxis are incredibly expensive. And they drive here like Italians, the locals.
I won't even drive in New York or Boston, let alone Europe. Taxi, bus, train or hoofing it are the only options I bother with.
The bus/tram system here is nothing short of amazing (I've only had to wait more than five minutes once, and travel cards usually come as part of the deal with your hotel, plus they go everywhere), but it seems most of the Americans I've met are a little uncomfortable with not having their own car.
Then again, the sort of person who comes here is probably used to comfortable, private travel regardless of where they came from (damn bankers, hedge fund analysts, diplomats etc) so there may be some selection bias going on there.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 18, 2010, 07:07:15 PM
Quote from: Khara on June 18, 2010, 06:51:16 PM
The neighbor bitch called the cops on the kids from the street last night for shooting off bottle rockets having/attending a good time.
This was the moment. The rest could have happened anywhere.
But you know why mine were the only ones she saw right??? :lulz:
Quote from: Cain on June 18, 2010, 08:45:59 PM
The bus/tram system here is nothing short of amazing (I've only had to wait more than five minutes once, and travel cards usually come as part of the deal with your hotel, plus they go everywhere), but it seems most of the Americans I've met are a little uncomfortable with not having their own car.
Then again, the sort of person who comes here is probably used to comfortable, private travel regardless of where they came from (damn bankers, hedge fund analysts, diplomats etc) so there may be some selection bias going on there.
:lulz: Not many of us innercity bus savvy types taking the grand tour :wink:
I almost did the bad american touristy thing of taking pics of the shantytown outside jo.berg when we drove by but i didnt
I often deny myself delicious Belgian fries(or other fatty foods) if I'm with people that speak English because I don't want to fulfill the American stereotype. If I'm with my girlfriend, with whom I usually speak English, I insist that we speak French if we're doing something American-y, either something lazy or piggish or whatever. I refuse to succumb to the stereotype!
Quote from: Nigel on June 18, 2010, 08:11:36 PM
Yesterday I drove past several large free streetcorner TVs because we already have enough giant TVs in our house, but I stopped to pick up a little one because I thought my 10-year-old might want to hook up his X-Box in his room.
OK, so. This thing that goes on with TVs. Is this commonplace in other countries? Our streets are littered with perfectly functional televisions just because they are tube instead of LCD, aren't wide-screen, and don't have HDTV tuners. Big ones; I've seen some 42" TVs with a sign that says "WORKS!" sitting on curbsides.
This happens here a lot.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 17, 2010, 09:19:12 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on June 17, 2010, 08:17:32 PM
Even though I finished all my work at 11:30,
I still have to hang out here until 5 PM. :argh!:
That's more of a first world problem, not a blatant act of America on your part (or the witnessing thereof).
Posting about it during work hours is, though :-)
Quote from: Nigel on June 18, 2010, 08:11:36 PM
Yesterday I drove past several large free streetcorner TVs because we already have enough giant TVs in our house, but I stopped to pick up a little one because I thought my 10-year-old might want to hook up his X-Box in his room.
OK, so. This thing that goes on with TVs. Is this commonplace in other countries? Our streets are littered with perfectly functional televisions just because they are tube instead of LCD, aren't wide-screen, and don't have HDTV tuners. Big ones; I've seen some 42" TVs with a sign that says "WORKS!" sitting on curbsides.
Not so much with TVs here, but couches are commonly seen, and the occasional washing machine/dryer.
Living close to a university those couches are usually gone within a day.
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on June 18, 2010, 10:02:47 PM
Quote from: Nigel on June 18, 2010, 08:11:36 PM
Yesterday I drove past several large free streetcorner TVs because we already have enough giant TVs in our house, but I stopped to pick up a little one because I thought my 10-year-old might want to hook up his X-Box in his room.
OK, so. This thing that goes on with TVs. Is this commonplace in other countries? Our streets are littered with perfectly functional televisions just because they are tube instead of LCD, aren't wide-screen, and don't have HDTV tuners. Big ones; I've seen some 42" TVs with a sign that says "WORKS!" sitting on curbsides.
This happens here a lot.
I appreciate your implication that Florida is another country. :lulz:
Quote from: Cain on June 18, 2010, 08:11:37 PM
Uh, I constantly find myself slipping into Spanish when I try to speak French. It's pretty embarrasing, actually. Dunno if it's "American", but it's typically Anglo-Saxon.
Conversely, this happens in reverse to me when I travel in Mexico--much MORE embarassing, as I LIVE in San Difuckingego.
So I totally getcha.
Also: hope you're back, Man.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 18, 2010, 08:17:06 PM
The fact that you speak more than one language disqualifies you from being an American.
The fact that you speak at least 3 languages (English, French, Spanish) bars you from entry.
Americans are forbidden to speak more Spanish than exists on the Taco Bell menu, and any French at all. When we try, it comes out as, say, "parlayz vews frankass, monsewer?" or "hayblay aspannyol, senior?".
Does not NEITHER! :(
I was complaining earlier about having too much food in the house and not knowing what to pick.
Quote from: NWC on June 18, 2010, 09:26:17 PM
I often deny myself delicious Belgian fries(or other fatty foods) if I'm with people that speak English because I don't want to fulfill the American stereotype. If I'm with my girlfriend, with whom I usually speak English, I insist that we speak French if we're doing something American-y, either something lazy or piggish or whatever. I refuse to succumb to the stereotype!
I did that with my French friend while in Paris. While we were on the Metro, specifically. It worked for a while.
Quote from: Rumckle on June 19, 2010, 03:53:13 AM
Living close to a university those couches are usually gone within a day.
[old geezer] In MY day in university, the couches on the curb were BLAZING afire...[/old geezer] :gheyforum:
I will frequently go to the grocery store. Spend $50-$60 on food for the next week or two then, on the drive home, swing through a fast food drive through to get something to eat.
Barely four pages in, and I'm already thinking "Wow, we're a wasteful, disgusting lot." :lulz: :horrormirth: :lulz:
I have been complaining about how my ass is getting larger and I'm unhappy with my figure, so I had fried chicken from Publix for dinner last night at about 2am, you know, right before bed.
All dark meat.
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on June 19, 2010, 05:28:04 PM
I have been complaining about how my ass is getting larger and I'm unhappy with my figure, so I had fried chicken from Publix for dinner last night at about 2am, you know, right before bed.
All dark meat.
Thanks to this post, I now have a certain song by Sir-Mix-A-Lot stuck in my head.
Does that count as an American moment?
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 18, 2010, 07:07:15 PM
Quote from: Khara on June 18, 2010, 06:51:16 PM
The neighbor bitch called the cops on the kids from the street last night for shooting off bottle rockets having/attending a good time.
This was the moment. The rest could have happened anywhere.
This happens in Canada too. I'm surprised that there are still kids left who do that kind of thing, considering that here in the Great White North snowball fights and games of tag are verboten.
Fun damn well ought to be illegal. Making anything illegal makes it extra fun. That excited sense of "will I get caught" the cloak and dagger approach. That righteous sense of getting away with it. I hope to hell they ban everything. I'll end up having twice as much fun as I do now :evil:
Quote from: Doktor Vitriol on June 19, 2010, 10:18:58 PM
Fun damn well ought to be illegal. Making anything illegal makes it extra fun. That excited sense of "will I get caught" the cloak and dagger approach. That righteous sense of getting away with it. I hope to hell they ban everything. I'll end up having twice as much fun as I do now :evil:
Good point, like when you were a kid, everything was funnier when you were in church and not allowed to laugh.
Example:
:lulz: :lulz:
P.P. Bliss (http://www.biblebelievers.com/bliss/memindex.html) :lulz: :lulz:
Quote from: Jerry_Frankster on June 19, 2010, 11:50:21 PM
Quote from: Doktor Vitriol on June 19, 2010, 10:18:58 PM
Fun damn well ought to be illegal. Making anything illegal makes it extra fun. That excited sense of "will I get caught" the cloak and dagger approach. That righteous sense of getting away with it. I hope to hell they ban everything. I'll end up having twice as much fun as I do now :evil:
Good point, like when you were a kid, everything was funnier when you were in church and not allowed to laugh.
Example:
:lulz: :lulz: P.P. Bliss (http://www.biblebelievers.com/bliss/memindex.html) :lulz: :lulz:
(http://www.biblebelievers.com/bliss/ppb1.gif)
(http://blogs.villagevoice.com/music/Krist.jpg)
:aaa:
I don't usually buy soda but I was at the store yesterday and 12-packs of root beer were only $2.49 each if you bought four. So now I have 48 cans of root beer in my kitchen.
Quote from: Nigel on June 20, 2010, 05:58:09 PM
I don't usually buy soda but I was at the store yesterday and 12-packs of root beer were only $2.49 each if you bought four. So now I have 48 cans of root beer in my kitchen.
I don't see how this can be considered anything other than a flawless victory.
Remington,
Loves root beer
I often drive my gas guzzling 6 cylinder vehicle with the air on ... and the window down.
Why, I don't know?
I can find ANY country BUT the USA's soccer jersey for way less than $50 UNLESS it's XL or bigger. :x
Going across the border from Canada, en route to Seattle in 1977, the US Border Guards confiscated the sandwiches my Aunt had made for the journey, because they had lettuce in them.
They also took all but one unopened pack of cigarettes per smoker. My Uncle and Aunt accepted this without a murmur, while the 11 year old me, seethed with indignation.
Wtf?
Apparently, Canada used (or didn't use) a fertilser or insecticide that didn't comply with US regs, and taking a Sandwich over the border constituted an act of 'import'. (Important enough to take my bloody lunch away, at least)
Your sandwich obviously didn't have high enough levels of DDT.
I am currently coloring my hair because I nearly had a heart attack about the couple white hairs that are starting to grow in.
LAWL@LlZZAY
Quote from: BLARFINGARF on June 21, 2010, 09:27:05 PM
I am currently coloring my hair because I nearly had a heart attack about the couple white hairs that are starting to grow in.
Reason #5 that I shave my head and face.
I am going to age the way Nature intended.
With hair color, chemical peels, and if necessary, an eventual boob job to keep the GIRLS where they're supposed to be. As I refuse to ever roll them up into my bra. :x
Quote from: BLARFINGARF on June 21, 2010, 10:05:50 PM
I am going to age the way Nature intended.
With hair color, chemical peels, and if necessary, an eventual boob job to keep the GIRLS where they're supposed to be. As I refuse to ever roll them up into my bra. :x
I'm just going to go to shit, becoming ever more disreputable, until I finally dissolve into a puddle of curmudgeonry.
When I get beyond the age where I'm even slightly salvageable, I'll just lose my shit and be the bitchy old lady who cusses at kids, and everyone thinks is senile. :lulz:
Quote from: BLARFINGARF on June 21, 2010, 10:14:19 PM
When I get beyond the age where I'm even slightly salvageable, I'll just lose my shit and be the bitchy old lady who cusses at kids, and everyone thinks is senile. :lulz:
Fuck yeah.
GET OFF MY LAWN, YOU HOODLUMS!
Dok,
Doesn't have a lawn.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 21, 2010, 09:57:00 PM
Quote from: BLARFINGARF on June 21, 2010, 09:27:05 PM
I am currently coloring my hair because I nearly had a heart attack about the couple white hairs that are starting to grow in.
Reason #5 that I shave my head and face.
What about your 'Back, crack, and sack'?
Quote from: BadBeast on June 21, 2010, 10:15:03 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 21, 2010, 09:57:00 PM
Quote from: BLARFINGARF on June 21, 2010, 09:27:05 PM
I am currently coloring my hair because I nearly had a heart attack about the couple white hairs that are starting to grow in.
Reason #5 that I shave my head and face.
What about your 'Back, crack, and sack'?
Fuck no. I'm a goddamn Yeti. I have people come by once a month to beat the birds and small animals out of my back hair alone.
Everyone should have people.
"Wax on, wax off". Unless you really are a 'special habitat'.
Try to get yourself designated as a 'site of special scientific interest' then you might qualify for shitloads of govt money. (I tried to do that, but I wasn't 'special' enough)
The other day, while driving to the bank, I saw a very, very large redneck standing on the side of the busy road, waiting to cross (not at the cross walk a hundred feet up, where he could have had immediate crossing) while holding a gigantic soda in one hand and clutching a case of shitty beer.
Oh, and it was before noon.
Quote from: Hover Cat on June 21, 2010, 10:23:49 PM
The other day, while driving to the bank, I saw a very, very large redneck standing on the side of the busy road, waiting to cross (not at the cross walk a hundred feet up, where he could have had immediate crossing) while holding a gigantic soda in one hand and clutching a case of shitty beer.
Oh, and it was before noon.
You mean to say you have
'good' beer in America? Nice warm Beer? From a wooden barrel?
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 21, 2010, 10:14:54 PM
Quote from: BLARFINGARF on June 21, 2010, 10:14:19 PM
When I get beyond the age where I'm even slightly salvageable, I'll just lose my shit and be the bitchy old lady who cusses at kids, and everyone thinks is senile. :lulz:
Fuck yeah.
GET OFF MY LAWN, YOU HOODLUMS!
Dok,
Doesn't have a lawn.
GODDAMN CROWS ALWAYS BUZZING AROUND MY HOUSE!
THE END OF THE WORLD IS COMING
GODDAMN YOU CROWS
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 21, 2010, 10:18:10 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on June 21, 2010, 10:15:03 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 21, 2010, 09:57:00 PM
Quote from: BLARFINGARF on June 21, 2010, 09:27:05 PM
I am currently coloring my hair because I nearly had a heart attack about the couple white hairs that are starting to grow in.
Reason #5 that I shave my head and face.
What about your 'Back, crack, and sack'?
Fuck no. I'm a goddamn Yeti. I have people come by once a month to beat the birds and small animals out of my back hair alone.
Everyone should have people.
Lizzay,
nekkid from the neck down. kthx
Quote from: BadBeast on June 21, 2010, 10:30:07 PM
Quote from: Hover Cat on June 21, 2010, 10:23:49 PM
The other day, while driving to the bank, I saw a very, very large redneck standing on the side of the busy road, waiting to cross (not at the cross walk a hundred feet up, where he could have had immediate crossing) while holding a gigantic soda in one hand and clutching a case of shitty beer.
Oh, and it was before noon.
You mean to say you have 'good' beer in America? Nice warm Beer? From a wooden barrel?
I have never had a beer I liked. But this was bad beer, even by American standards. Coors light or something, I think.
Quote from: BadBeast on June 21, 2010, 10:30:07 PM
Quote from: Hover Cat on June 21, 2010, 10:23:49 PM
The other day, while driving to the bank, I saw a very, very large redneck standing on the side of the busy road, waiting to cross (not at the cross walk a hundred feet up, where he could have had immediate crossing) while holding a gigantic soda in one hand and clutching a case of shitty beer.
Oh, and it was before noon.
You mean to say you have 'good' beer in America? Nice warm Beer? From a wooden barrel?
We do, but you have to know where to get it. In fact, MOST American beer IS good, but nothing you can buy in your neck of the woods or in a run of the mill grocery or liquor store is.
-Suu
Has totally had American-made beer on cask. There is hope for us yet.
Quote from: Hover Cat on June 21, 2010, 10:46:33 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on June 21, 2010, 10:30:07 PM
Quote from: Hover Cat on June 21, 2010, 10:23:49 PM
The other day, while driving to the bank, I saw a very, very large redneck standing on the side of the busy road, waiting to cross (not at the cross walk a hundred feet up, where he could have had immediate crossing) while holding a gigantic soda in one hand and clutching a case of shitty beer.
Oh, and it was before noon.
You mean to say you have 'good' beer in America? Nice warm Beer? From a wooden barrel?
I have never had a beer I liked. But this was bad beer, even by American standards. Coors light or something, I think.
Coors Light is not beer.
Ok. Piss in a can some idiot called beer. Either way, dumb ass redneck was clutching a case of it while trying to cross a busy road.
Quote from: BadBeast on June 21, 2010, 10:30:07 PM
Quote from: Hover Cat on June 21, 2010, 10:23:49 PM
The other day, while driving to the bank, I saw a very, very large redneck standing on the side of the busy road, waiting to cross (not at the cross walk a hundred feet up, where he could have had immediate crossing) while holding a gigantic soda in one hand and clutching a case of shitty beer.
Oh, and it was before noon.
You mean to say you have 'good' beer in America? Nice warm Beer? From a wooden barrel?
Quit acting like we can't make beer. :argh!: You just have to go to the right places. Or homebrew meetings.
I worry and complain about how BP has caused a major environmental disaster in the gulf.
I then engage in in a variety of entertainment options powered by electricity. Where does this electricity come from? Coal burning power plants that, most likely, get their coal from mining companies that excavate it out of the top of mountains. AFTER they have blown them off the tops of mountains and down into river valleys.
while I was on vacation I saw earrings for sale that were made out of starbucks cards.
It's capitalism, and recycling all in one!
Quote from: PopeTom on June 22, 2010, 07:38:10 AM
I worry and complain about how BP has caused a major environmental disaster in the gulf.
I then engage in in a variety of entertainment options powered by electricity. Where does this electricity come from? Coal burning power plants that, most likely, get their coal from mining companies that excavate it out of the top of mountains. AFTER they have blown them off the tops of mountains and down into river valleys.
THIS. FUCKING THIS.
What what? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU)
Quote from: vexati0n on June 22, 2010, 06:17:34 PM
What what? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU)
Damn. :fap:
While fiddling with my stepdad's camera, I noticed it has a self portrait setting. MySpace generation consumers ftw.
Quote from: vexati0n on June 22, 2010, 06:17:34 PM
What what? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU)
DONT YOU WORRY
I WON'T BITE (NOT THAT HARD)
I have the day off with no 1) kids 2) work 3) husband, and so I sleep the fuck in and don't do anything even though my house looks like someone set off a bomb in several rooms.
I have every INTENT on getting the fuck out of the house, walking the dogs, and buying a book I'm supposed to have read by THURSDAY for a book club meeting...but right now the only pressing things I'm going to take care of is 1) taking a pee and 2) having a coffee break. :lol:
It's NOON and I'm still in my PJ's. On a motherfucking TUESDAY. (whataworld)
Quote from: vexati0n on June 22, 2010, 06:17:34 PM
What what? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU)
Yeah, I got introduced to this song about 3 years ago, and now I sing it, just that catchy part, to my kids.
I'm a bad mom. :lol: (one of these days they're gonna catch on to what that part of the song means)
books on tape
or
cliffnotes. :D
Is Ok, I need new reading material, and if I dont' finish by Thursday night, I'm not gonna cry.
Quote from: Jenne on June 22, 2010, 08:09:03 PM
Is Ok, I need new reading material, and if I dont' finish by Thursday night, I'm not gonna cry.
Mailing you some tonight. :lulz:
Well, at least a page or so.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 22, 2010, 08:12:49 PM
Quote from: Jenne on June 22, 2010, 08:09:03 PM
Is Ok, I need new reading material, and if I dont' finish by Thursday night, I'm not gonna cry.
Mailing you some tonight. :lulz:
Well, at least a page or so.
:D Looking forward to it.
I'm participating in a "contest" wherein the goal is to eat as much of a non-locally-produced food as I can even if it makes me sick. :lulz:
Quote from: Nigel on June 22, 2010, 10:03:59 PM
I'm participating in a "contest" wherein the goal is to eat as much of a non-locally-produced food as I can even if it makes me sick. :lulz:
Yeah, that kind of struck me as American. Especially since there's no payoff other than bragging rights as the biggest glutton.
:lulz:
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 22, 2010, 10:35:19 PM
Quote from: Nigel on June 22, 2010, 10:03:59 PM
I'm participating in a "contest" wherein the goal is to eat as much of a non-locally-produced food as I can even if it makes me sick. :lulz:
Yeah, that kind of struck me as American. Especially since there's no payoff other than bragging rights as the biggest glutton.
:lulz:
And SCIENCE!
The American 'Ethnic' Food Section http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywCX6znxUWQ
:amurrica:
While at IHOP last night for pancakes, I had to actually ask for maple syrup.
Quote from: Hover Cat on June 24, 2010, 03:18:46 AM
While at IHOP last night for pancakes, I had to actually ask for maple syrup.
:omg:
I neglected to add that everything else on the table - the syrups and shit - were not maple syrup. Maple syrup goes on pancakes, dammit, unless there is real jam to be had. This was like, strawberry, boysenberry, blackberry, and butter pecan flavored corn syrup. At least one of those should be replaces with maple as a matter of course.
I buy lots of perishable foods (especially fresh fruit and meat) and then don't eat them.
Quote from: Mistress Freeky, HRN on June 24, 2010, 04:29:44 AM
I buy lots of perishable foods (especially fresh fruit and meat) and then don't eat them.
that makes me wanna punch you in the dick.. that you don't have.
an ex of mine would do the same, or just throw them in the lawn so we couldn't have them.
that is american to the EXTREME.
Target shopping spree this afternoon with my Mommy.
Oh here's an American thing
I was given a very small bonus for all of my efforts in training these new hires (9 total) in the form of a gift card. To Target. I will then buy new flip flops. Which I will wear to work, against the dress code, that I will then enforce on my new hires.
AH HA! HA HA HA HA! HA Ha ha ha ha h ahahahahahhaaa. ha. heh. kill me.
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on June 24, 2010, 07:03:35 AM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky, HRN on June 24, 2010, 04:29:44 AM
I buy lots of perishable foods (especially fresh fruit and meat) and then don't eat them.
that makes me wanna punch you in the dick.. that you don't have.
an ex of mine would do the same, or just throw them in the lawn so we couldn't have them.
that is american to the EXTREME.
I don't mean t do it! I just forget to cook or eat it. :(
Also, dick move on the ex's part.
It's ok. He's dead. :)
My American moment today-- I have coffee at home but bought Starbucks anyway while I was out cause I didn't feel like making it myself.
I bought a gym membership in January, or maybe February.
Today was the second time I went.
Waiting to go out of my way to be lazy.
Stay tuned.
Today a friend and I went out to get ice cream.
Because we got board waiting for the instant pudding we just mixed to set.
Yesterday was my last day visiting the 'rents and Mum asked me if I wanted to start making Margaritas.....just after noon.
I'm pretty sure the Denver airport is chock full of America.... :argh!: :horrormirth: :argh!:
My window fan's power cord partially broke, so I bought a replacement.
(attempting a re-solder before I trash the old one though.)
Quote from: Richter on June 28, 2010, 08:22:34 PM
My window fan's power cord partially broke, so I bought a replacement.
(attempting a re-solder before I trash the old one though.)
FYI it's really easy to just entirely replace the cords on most fans; usually costs about a dollar. YMMV.
Thanks, the cord tested good though. It's a seperate cord, like a computer's, with a plug in the back of the fan. The plug's what's gone wonky.
May try to teardown and solder nice-like. May just hotwire the fucker.
Quote from: Richter on June 28, 2010, 10:28:18 PM
May just hotwire the fucker.
:|
You know better than that.
Dok,
Maintenance chief.
instead of cooking at home, i drove two blocks to get a cheese burger.
Between the last time I talked to my cousin several months ago, and yesterday when I talked to her, they had moved away from the beach to Orlando and are already planning to make another move in August/September to a slightly bigger house a few miles away, at which time she will be heavily prego, and taking care of two toddlers, and homeschooling their oldest child of 6 or 7.
American Dream Winnar is her. :sad:
Quote from: Requia ☣ on June 24, 2010, 08:39:33 PM
I bought a gym membership in January, or maybe February.
Today was the second time I went.
I go to mine, but of course I mostly do things I could easily do at home....only I pay 35 bucks a month to do it a mile away...
also
ZUMBA
Ok got one, today, instead of waiting for the bus that drops me off outside of my apartment, I took an alternate route and walked for a mile and half. Would have taken the same amount of time either way. Good choice, bad reason. I just didn't want to wait.
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 29, 2010, 03:58:19 AM
Ok got one, today, instead of waiting for the bus that drops me off outside of my apartment, I took an alternate route and walked for a mile and half. Would have taken the same amount of time either way. Good choice, bad reason. I just didn't want to wait.
This isn't American because you opted to walk all that way.
Security at the Stampede said I need to check your pockets.
Me; took 2 steps back and said I didn't give you the privilege to trample my civil rights.
Guard. But I have to.
Me; not unless you want to get your ass sued off.
Guard; I can deny you entry.
Me; call your supervisor and a cop, now please.
Guard; What?
Me; Call them.
Guard; No.
Me; then you have no right to search my person.
Guard; :?
Me; I will show you what is in my pockets.
Guard; That will work.
Me; Shows a pack of smokes in one side pocket and my wallet in the other.
Relieved Guard; Go ahead.
Me; With a flask in each back pocket says Thank you.
Quote from: Mistress Freeky, HRN on June 29, 2010, 03:59:42 AM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 29, 2010, 03:58:19 AM
Ok got one, today, instead of waiting for the bus that drops me off outside of my apartment, I took an alternate route and walked for a mile and half. Would have taken the same amount of time either way. Good choice, bad reason. I just didn't want to wait.
This isn't American because you opted to walk all that way.
I was banking on the impatience angle, but I see your point.
Quote from: Charley Brown on June 29, 2010, 04:16:54 AM
Security at the Stampede said I need to check your pockets.
Me; took 2 steps back and said I didn't give you the privilege to trample my civil rights.
Guard. But I have to.
Me; not unless you want to get your ass sued off.
Guard; I can deny you entry.
Me; call your supervisor and a cop, now please.
Guard; What?
Me; Call them.
Guard; No.
Me; then you have no right to search my person.
Guard; :?
Me; I will show you what is in my pockets.
Guard; That will work.
Me; Shows a pack of smokes in one side pocket and my wallet in the other.
Relieved Guard; Go ahead.
Me; With a flask in each back pocket says Thank you.
:lulz:
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 29, 2010, 04:53:22 AM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky, HRN on June 29, 2010, 03:59:42 AM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 29, 2010, 03:58:19 AM
Ok got one, today, instead of waiting for the bus that drops me off outside of my apartment, I took an alternate route and walked for a mile and half. Would have taken the same amount of time either way. Good choice, bad reason. I just didn't want to wait.
This isn't American because you opted to walk all that way.
I was banking on the impatience angle, but I see your point.
It's true, I think that one only counts as a Eurasian First World Moment. The real American thing to do would be to lower your quivering, grease-caked mass onto a Rascal scooter and start wheezing something incoherent about the bus driver being a socialist.
.. and how you're madder than fish grease
There's a lot of grease involved, yes.
Yeah, none of that applies to me....
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 29, 2010, 04:54:17 AM
Quote from: Charley Brown on June 29, 2010, 04:16:54 AM
Security at the Stampede said I need to check your pockets.
Me; took 2 steps back and said I didn't give you the privilege to trample my civil rights.
Guard. But I have to.
Me; not unless you want to get your ass sued off.
Guard; I can deny you entry.
Me; call your supervisor and a cop, now please.
Guard; What?
Me; Call them.
Guard; No.
Me; then you have no right to search my person.
Guard; :?
Me; I will show you what is in my pockets.
Guard; That will work.
Me; Shows a pack of smokes in one side pocket and my wallet in the other.
Relieved Guard; Go ahead.
Me; With a flask in each back pocket says Thank you.
:lulz:
The only alcohol they sell there is coors and miller. I would rather drink from the port-a-potty.
I don't blame you, lol. I'm just picturing the scene. Very well played!
Quote from: Mistress Freeky, HRN on June 29, 2010, 03:59:42 AM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 29, 2010, 03:58:19 AM
Ok got one, today, instead of waiting for the bus that drops me off outside of my apartment, I took an alternate route and walked for a mile and half. Would have taken the same amount of time either way. Good choice, bad reason. I just didn't want to wait.
This isn't American because you opted to walk all that way.
If its Boston, you make better time across some parts of town on foot too.
Quote from: Richter on June 29, 2010, 04:10:37 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky, HRN on June 29, 2010, 03:59:42 AM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 29, 2010, 03:58:19 AM
Ok got one, today, instead of waiting for the bus that drops me off outside of my apartment, I took an alternate route and walked for a mile and half. Would have taken the same amount of time either way. Good choice, bad reason. I just didn't want to wait.
This isn't American because you opted to walk all that way.
If its Boston, you make better time across some parts of town on foot too.
Yeah. I was in Newton.
When someone speaks to me in a language I don't understand, and I don't speak any languages they understand, I raise my voice, wave my hands and talk with a generically foreign accent.
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 29, 2010, 04:22:08 PM
Quote from: Richter on June 29, 2010, 04:10:37 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky, HRN on June 29, 2010, 03:59:42 AM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 29, 2010, 03:58:19 AM
Ok got one, today, instead of waiting for the bus that drops me off outside of my apartment, I took an alternate route and walked for a mile and half. Would have taken the same amount of time either way. Good choice, bad reason. I just didn't want to wait.
This isn't American because you opted to walk all that way.
If its Boston, you make better time across some parts of town on foot too.
Yeah. I was in Newton.
FUCK Newton.
Quote from: Suu on June 29, 2010, 04:32:52 PM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 29, 2010, 04:22:08 PM
Quote from: Richter on June 29, 2010, 04:10:37 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky, HRN on June 29, 2010, 03:59:42 AM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 29, 2010, 03:58:19 AM
Ok got one, today, instead of waiting for the bus that drops me off outside of my apartment, I took an alternate route and walked for a mile and half. Would have taken the same amount of time either way. Good choice, bad reason. I just didn't want to wait.
This isn't American because you opted to walk all that way.
If its Boston, you make better time across some parts of town on foot too.
Yeah. I was in Newton.
FUCK Newton.
What's wrong with Newton?
A ton!
Quote from: Cain on June 29, 2010, 04:28:02 PM
When someone speaks to me in a language I don't understand, and I don't speak any languages they understand, I raise my voice, wave my hands and talk with a generically foreign accent.
I had to frequently remind my father that speaking loudly wouldnt make the africans understand his accent any better :lol:
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 29, 2010, 04:34:52 PM
Quote from: Suu on June 29, 2010, 04:32:52 PM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 29, 2010, 04:22:08 PM
Quote from: Richter on June 29, 2010, 04:10:37 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky, HRN on June 29, 2010, 03:59:42 AM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 29, 2010, 03:58:19 AM
Ok got one, today, instead of waiting for the bus that drops me off outside of my apartment, I took an alternate route and walked for a mile and half. Would have taken the same amount of time either way. Good choice, bad reason. I just didn't want to wait.
This isn't American because you opted to walk all that way.
If its Boston, you make better time across some parts of town on foot too.
Yeah. I was in Newton.
FUCK Newton.
What's wrong with Newton?
The motherfucking laws of motion, that's what!
According to my math that is two. I think it might be time for a visit with Dr. Ocular.
Quote from: RWHN on June 29, 2010, 05:30:35 PM
According to my math that is two. I think it might be time for a visit with Dr. Ocular.
:crankey: :argh!:
Clearly I need more coffee.
Quote from: Richter on June 28, 2010, 10:28:18 PM
Thanks, the cord tested good though. It's a seperate cord, like a computer's, with a plug in the back of the fan. The plug's what's gone wonky.
May try to teardown and solder nice-like. May just hotwire the fucker.
Replacing the plug might be kind of tricky (in terms of finding a new plug) but you might try hitting up a lamp store and seeing if they have that part. If you lived in Portland I'd know exactly where to send you for it, but I have no idea what you've got around there, if anything. That part should cost less than $3.
Yeah, I don't want to count on RadioShmack having it these days.
As per Dok's advice, and better judgement, I will not cobble it together.
I just made a giant bowl of pasta and then dumped half of it down the drain cause it had too many calories. YEAH AMERICA!!!!!!
Quote from: FredleySneijder on June 29, 2010, 08:16:20 PM
I just made a giant bowl of pasta and then dumped half of it down the drain cause it had too many calories. YEAH AMERICA!!!!!!
That's not America.
Now, if you had made too little and poured in half a bottle of ketchup to compensate...
I oveheard 3 people tell others where Portugal was in the break room. Only one of them got the correct continent. :|
Quote from: Remington on June 29, 2010, 08:46:43 PM
Quote from: FredleySneijder on June 29, 2010, 08:16:20 PM
I just made a giant bowl of pasta and then dumped half of it down the drain cause it had too many calories. YEAH AMERICA!!!!!!
That's not America.
Now, if you had made too little and poured in half a bottle of ketchup to compensate...
Outside observer makes interesting case.
Quote from: Richter on June 29, 2010, 08:48:15 PM
I oveheard 3 people tell others where Portugal was in the break room. Only one of them got the correct continent. :|
Seriously? I thought the American geography fail thing was a myth.
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 29, 2010, 08:50:05 PM
Quote from: Richter on June 29, 2010, 08:48:15 PM
I oveheard 3 people tell others where Portugal was in the break room. Only one of them got the correct continent. :|
Seriously? I thought the American geography fail thing was a myth.
:lulz: Oh, no. Not by a longshot.
Quote from: Jenne on June 29, 2010, 08:52:10 PM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 29, 2010, 08:50:05 PM
Quote from: Richter on June 29, 2010, 08:48:15 PM
I oveheard 3 people tell others where Portugal was in the break room. Only one of them got the correct continent. :|
Seriously? I thought the American geography fail thing was a myth.
:lulz: Oh, no. Not by a longshot.
I imagine most of my optimism/naivete about Americans and the state of things stems from having been reared by a would-have-been history teacher and having had decent schooling.
Edit: I mean, fuck, if you showed me an unlabeled map of the world I couldn't tell you which specific blob Uzbekistan was, but I could tell you that it's a former Soviet Republic in Asia.
Quote from: Richter on June 29, 2010, 08:48:15 PM
I oveheard 3 people tell others where Portugal was in the break room. Only one of them got the correct continent. :|
The other two thought it was in South America right? So they sailed to the New World by making a big-ass U turn?
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 29, 2010, 08:55:22 PM
Quote from: Jenne on June 29, 2010, 08:52:10 PM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 29, 2010, 08:50:05 PM
Quote from: Richter on June 29, 2010, 08:48:15 PM
I oveheard 3 people tell others where Portugal was in the break room. Only one of them got the correct continent. :|
Seriously? I thought the American geography fail thing was a myth.
:lulz: Oh, no. Not by a longshot.
I imagine most of my optimism/naivete about Americans and the state of things stems from having been reared by a would-have-been history teacher and having had decent schooling.
Thou needst to find thyself some episodes of Jay Leno's "Jaywalking" and catch a glimpse of the awesome power of the American Dumb.
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 29, 2010, 08:55:22 PM
Quote from: Jenne on June 29, 2010, 08:52:10 PM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 29, 2010, 08:50:05 PM
Quote from: Richter on June 29, 2010, 08:48:15 PM
I oveheard 3 people tell others where Portugal was in the break room. Only one of them got the correct continent. :|
Seriously? I thought the American geography fail thing was a myth.
:lulz: Oh, no. Not by a longshot.
I imagine most of my optimism/naivete about Americans and the state of things stems from having been reared by a would-have-been history teacher and having had decent schooling.
Edit: I mean, fuck, if you showed me an unlabeled map of the world I couldn't tell you which specific blob Uzbekistan was, but I could tell you that it's a former Soviet Republic in Asia.
Yeah. Then they started asking where Brazil was.
I will take this decade for one fuck of a ride, if I don't axe it for stupidity first.
Regarding South America: It's fucking stupid, but I can see the confusion if they did know in fact where Brazil was located, since they speak Portuguese there too.
GRRRRR!!!! PAPAL DIVIDING UP OF IMPERIAL LANDS BETWIXT PORTUGAL AND SPAIN WHY DON'T FUCKERS KNOW?!?!?!?
:argh!: Sorry. Again, my dad was going to be a history teacher and I might be myself....
In regard to Jaywalking: Yeah, I'll do it. It'll make me feel better about my intelligence to be sure.
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 29, 2010, 09:11:21 PM
Regarding South America: It's fucking stupid, but I can see the confusion if they did know in fact where Brazil was located, since they speak Portuguese there too.
It's kind of amazing to me someone would know enough that they speak Portugese in Brazil but not understand WHY they speak Portugese in Brazil.
Quote from: RWHN on June 29, 2010, 09:17:10 PM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 29, 2010, 09:11:21 PM
Regarding South America: It's fucking stupid, but I can see the confusion if they did know in fact where Brazil was located, since they speak Portuguese there too.
It's kind of amazing to me someone would know enough that they speak Portugese in Brazil but not understand WHY they speak Portugese in Brazil.
Well, fuck it couldn't possibly be for the same reason that Americans, Canadians and Australians speak English, right?
Or that most countries in this hemisphere speak Spanish....
Hell that's like arguing that I should know Algonquin.
a few weeks ago at the local farmer's market, I saw a man pass by the beer garden on a rascal or hover round or something, with three long white poles jutting out the back holding 5-7 American Flags (made in china, likely). The second time I saw him, he entered the beer garden, parked his rascal and walked, unaided, to the beer line and and stood the 10 minutes to get a beer, only to return to his rascal and drive away with the beer in hand.
He walked fine, from what I saw- he was just Fat.
Quote from: Iron Sulfide on June 29, 2010, 09:23:45 PM
a few weeks ago at the local farmer's market, I saw a man pass by the beer garden on a rascal or hover round or something, with three long white poles jutting out the back holding 5-7 American Flags (made in china, likely). The second time I saw him, he entered the beer garden, parked his rascal and walked, unaided, to the beer line and and stood the 10 minutes to get a beer, only to return to his rascal and drive away with the beer in hand.
He walked fine, from what I saw- he was just Fat.
Fucking Socialist. :lulz:
As for the rest of it:
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
:lulz: Oh, that's America, alright. :lulz: Classic tale.
I actually once, went to Walmart with my former vocalist. I don't remember why, but we parked next to an SUV that had an American flag vanity painted over the whole thing. John (former vocalist) had to talk me out of adding other decorations to it. He was always very acutely aware of my thoughts on the matter.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Csj7vMKy4EI
"You Don't Mess...With God's America!"
So, when the US team was playing Ghana, I was watching it in a bar. During halftime, the bartender began playing, of all things, the Team America: World Police title song, "America, Fuck Yeah!"
The bar began to sing along, non-ironically.
American Moment? Fuck yeah!
Quote from: LMNO on June 30, 2010, 01:07:51 PM
So, when the US team was playing Ghana, I was watching it in a bar. During halftime, the bartender began playing, of all things, the Team America: World Police title song, "America, Fuck Yeah!"
The bar began to sing along, non-ironically.
American Moment? Fuck yeah!
That's awesome, lol
Wow. :aaa:
Quote from: RWHN on June 29, 2010, 09:17:10 PM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 29, 2010, 09:11:21 PM
Regarding South America: It's fucking stupid, but I can see the confusion if they did know in fact where Brazil was located, since they speak Portuguese there too.
It's kind of amazing to me someone would know enough that they speak Portugese in Brazil but not understand WHY they speak Portugese in Brazil.
True story, when I went to Brazil in 1999, we were on the plane, and my teammates had Spanish-English dictionaries with them. I was like, "Wow, did you guys learn NOTHING in ELEMENTARY geography?!"
So when we were there, and went out to eat, this girl got made fun of really bad and comes running up to me, "They're laughing at me over there because I spoke Spanish, how was *I* supposed to know that Brazil spoke Portuguese?!"
For 7 days, I felt like the smartest person in America.
I work at a staples.
within my first 6 months of working there, someone called in and asked if we had staplers.
this was not a prank phone call. (it turned out that she wanted a staple gun, but couldn't
figure out how to specify.)
http://www.slashgear.com/we-salute-you-mr-toilet-cooler-go-cart-making-man-you-are-a-real-american-hero-0893337/ (http://www.slashgear.com/we-salute-you-mr-toilet-cooler-go-cart-making-man-you-are-a-real-american-hero-0893337/)
Quote from: Richter on July 08, 2010, 04:38:52 PM
http://www.slashgear.com/we-salute-you-mr-toilet-cooler-go-cart-making-man-you-are-a-real-american-hero-0893337/ (http://www.slashgear.com/we-salute-you-mr-toilet-cooler-go-cart-making-man-you-are-a-real-american-hero-0893337/)
That was incredible. The last line especially was an epiphany:
QuoteDoing 60mph with a beer in one hand while dropping a deuce is living the high life.
http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2010/07/08/parents-be-warned-your-kids-may-be-robo-tripping/?hpt=T2
CNN / Dr. Gupta report on reality 10 years late.
Only in America do they call you and ask "What Flavors" your urinal blocks come in!
My response before they wrote me up for it was to very nicely reply... "I don't know, I don't put those things in my mouth."
:evil:
talking with one of my managers last week, i musingly said, "Do you ever think that by making everything so EASY for our costumers, that we're actually fostering a stupid, incapable client base?"
He said, "Well, yeah, but it works."
:x
I got one:
I did house work for the sole purpose of coming across loose change to buy a pack of cigarettes.
Twid, is a little short until Thursday.
I've been bitching about my job... that I HAVE... at a BAR, over beer. That I can kind of afford. With friends.
I wish I could afford friends.
:sad:
Quote from: BadBeast on June 21, 2010, 10:30:07 PM
Quote from: Hover Cat on June 21, 2010, 10:23:49 PM
The other day, while driving to the bank, I saw a very, very large redneck standing on the side of the busy road, waiting to cross (not at the cross walk a hundred feet up, where he could have had immediate crossing) while holding a gigantic soda in one hand and clutching a case of shitty beer.
Oh, and it was before noon.
You mean to say you have 'good' beer in America? Nice warm Beer? From a wooden barrel?
Yes we do.
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on July 21, 2010, 09:31:32 AM
Quote from: BadBeast on June 21, 2010, 10:30:07 PM
Quote from: Hover Cat on June 21, 2010, 10:23:49 PM
The other day, while driving to the bank, I saw a very, very large redneck standing on the side of the busy road, waiting to cross (not at the cross walk a hundred feet up, where he could have had immediate crossing) while holding a gigantic soda in one hand and clutching a case of shitty beer.
Oh, and it was before noon.
You mean to say you have 'good' beer in America? Nice warm Beer? From a wooden barrel?
Yes we do.
Yep. BadBeast, not sure what your selection over there is, since I've always had Guinness, Bass or the occasional local brew while over your way, but I imagine that the American offerings are usually Bud, Bud light, Michelob, Miller, Coors and maybe Rolling Rock, which are all generally consumed on a regular basis by those who lack the taste buds or the willingness/inability to shell out a couple of extra bucks for something more flavorful. Anyway, most of our better beers are made on smaller scales, and I doubt that they are exported internationally, except to maybe Canada and Mexico.
When shopping on Saturday, I overheard two American tourists complaining about how the "inconsiderate locals" wouldn't hold still when they tried to take pictures of them.
Quote from: Cain on July 21, 2010, 01:27:58 PM
When shopping on Saturday, I overheard two American tourists complaining about how the "inconsiderate locals" wouldn't hold still when they tried to take pictures of them.
:lulz:
The best part? This place is a ski resort and summer stopover on the way to more interesting places. It's not some indigenous backwater, it's a small, modern town and most likely they were taking pictures of other, less idiotic tourists.
Quote from: Cain on July 21, 2010, 01:27:58 PM
When shopping on Saturday, I overheard two American tourists complaining about how the "inconsiderate locals" wouldn't hold still when they tried to take pictures of them.
:facepalm: For fuck's sake.
Please tell me they weren't fat AND had bermuda shorts and those ridiculously colorful shirts on... For the love of god, PLEASE tell me it isn't so.
QuoteBud, Bud light, Michelob, Miller, Coors and maybe Rolling Rock
DO NOT SAY THOSE NAMES!!!
(http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/54152284/11536089)
Not only am I on Weight Watchers cause just eating less and exercising needs some sort of plan, but I was so proud of losing 10% of my body weight that when they gave me the congratulatory key chain I immediately put it on my Key Ring.
After 6 years of not owning a television, my wife broke me down and we bought one. I am now addicted to Top Chef.
I had the date that my phone was due for it's upgrade so I could immediately get my new phone.
I wear sneakers with white socks.
Oh, and just to put the final nail in my own personal coffin, lately I have taken to wearing a pedometer.
Quote from: Sigmatic on July 21, 2010, 06:03:51 PM
QuoteBud, Bud light, Michelob, Miller, Coors and maybe Rolling Rock
DO NOT SAY THOSE NAMES!!!
(http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/54152284/11536089)
:lulz:
I'm not sewing because baseball is on.
I just wasted spent the last year and half of my life ON A FUCKING SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE.
:argh!: @me
That is better than, say, playing warcraft for just as long.
But...
Not by a lot. :lol:
I bought a gift card with a credit card. :)
Baseball is over. I just got dressed.
Quote from: Suu on July 21, 2010, 08:57:23 PM
Baseball is over. I just got dressed.
ZE JOKES! ZEY WRITE ZEMSELVES! :lol:
I've spent 151 days 10 hours 42 mintues reading and posting on an internet forum and I'm PROUD of it.
Quote from: Apikoros II on July 21, 2010, 06:12:05 PM
Oh, and just to put the final nail in my own personal coffin, lately I have taken to wearing a pedometer.
O RLY??
/
(http://jamiedubs.com/fuckflickr/data/meme-prints/pedobear.png)
My sister bought gummi worms when we were at 7-11 and then promptly announced that someone should make an air freshner that smells like that.
Now with the complex bouquet of sugar, citrus syrup, and ground up cow bones! :lulz:
I just drove all the way to the local ma and pop fabric store for one sheet of interfacing to find that they selfishly locked the doors 10 minutes early, and refused to open them for me, even though they weren't technically closed.
So now, I am going to write them a nasty letter, smear them across the internet for having bad customer service, and drive even FARTHER to go to the corporate fabric store, which is cheaper, and won't lock their fucking doors 10 minutes early.
YOU WANNA BITCH ABOUT HOW SMALL BUSINESS IS TAKING A HIT?!
THAT IS WHY, YOU CUNTNUGGETS. ALL I WANTED WAS A $3 PIECE OF FUCKING INTERFACING. FUCK YOU.
Quote from: Sigmatic on July 21, 2010, 08:44:53 PM
That is better than, say, playing warcraft for just as long.
But...
Not by a lot. :lol:
why? You can make friends on WoW too. And the graphics are better than the ones on facebook.
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on July 22, 2010, 01:55:04 AM
Quote from: Sigmatic on July 21, 2010, 08:44:53 PM
That is better than, say, playing warcraft for just as long.
But...
Not by a lot. :lol:
why? You can pretend you don't have a wife and fuck teenagers on WoW too. And the graphics are better than the ones on facebook.
Fixed.
-Suu
Bitter divorcee forever.
Quote from: Suu on July 22, 2010, 12:07:05 AM
I just drove all the way to the local ma and pop fabric store for one sheet of interfacing to find that they selfishly locked the doors 10 minutes early, and refused to open them for me, even though they weren't technically closed.
So now, I am going to write them a nasty letter, smear them across the internet for having bad customer service, and drive even FARTHER to go to the corporate fabric store, which is cheaper, and won't lock their fucking doors 10 minutes early.
YOU WANNA BITCH ABOUT HOW SMALL BUSINESS IS TAKING A HIT?!
THAT IS WHY, YOU CUNTNUGGETS. ALL I WANTED WAS A $3 PIECE OF FUCKING INTERFACING. FUCK YOU.
Pee in the bargain loft right above the expensive upholstery section.
Quote from: Suu on July 22, 2010, 02:32:39 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on July 22, 2010, 01:55:04 AM
Quote from: Sigmatic on July 21, 2010, 08:44:53 PM
That is better than, say, playing warcraft for just as long.
But...
Not by a lot. :lol:
why? You can pretend you don't have a wife and fuck teenagers on WoW too. And the graphics are better than the ones on facebook.
Fixed.
-Suu
Bitter divorcee forever.
wait... what!? i must be facebooking all wrong.
Quote from: vexati0n on July 22, 2010, 03:29:05 AM
Quote from: Suu on July 22, 2010, 02:32:39 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on July 22, 2010, 01:55:04 AM
Quote from: Sigmatic on July 21, 2010, 08:44:53 PM
That is better than, say, playing warcraft for just as long.
But...
Not by a lot. :lol:
why? You can pretend you don't have a wife and fuck teenagers on WoW too. And the graphics are better than the ones on facebook.
Fixed.
-Suu
Bitter divorcee forever.
wait... what!? i must be facebooking all wrong.
Old news. Dude.
Quote from: Mistress Freeky, HRN on July 21, 2010, 03:56:12 PM
Please tell me they weren't fat AND had bermuda shorts and those ridiculously colorful shirts on... For the love of god, PLEASE tell me it isn't so.
Actually, they were fairly normal looking, which is worse. It means their idiocy has no external indicators.
Everyone in the world knows fat Americans in bermuda shorts and colourful t-shirts are to be avoided, and don't necessarily act in the way other Americans do.
I need to get me some of those. They have to come in handy at some point.
Quote from: Cain on July 22, 2010, 01:51:56 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky, HRN on July 21, 2010, 03:56:12 PM
Please tell me they weren't fat AND had bermuda shorts and those ridiculously colorful shirts on... For the love of god, PLEASE tell me it isn't so.
Actually, they were fairly normal looking, which is worse. It means their idiocy has no external indicators. Everyone in the world knows fat Americans in bermuda shorts and colourful t-shirts are to be avoided, and don't necessarily act in the way other Americans do.
Damn...
I brought two pounds of yummy tandori chicken and rice in for lunch, and almost ordered a sammich anyways when I forgot I had it.
I enrolled in a smoking cessation study that will pay me up to $300 to go from a pack or more a day to not smoking. I smoke and I like $300 so I signed up.
Thing is, that means next week they're going to do various tests on me to measure how much nicotine I consume, which is more like a pack a day.
So I'm going to double the amount I smoke so that I can have $300 (and, you know, extend my lifespan and all that jazz).
I was at a bar with my wife, and instead of talk to each other, we both checked our Facebook pages.
My family spends most of the day in the same area (me in the kitchen, everyone else in the livingroom) but we rarely talk because we all have computers.
My sister said "demo-cratsy" instead of "democracy" while talking about what she's been learning about.
Quote from: Doktor Alphapance on July 24, 2010, 03:44:35 AM
I was at a bar with my wife, and instead of talk to each other, we both checked our Facebook pages.
This made me :sad:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWfktZQKL48&feature=player_embedded
Shit, my American moment was that I just watched that and said "Wow, even the foreigners know Palin is a nut job"
:lulz:
Gilroy Garlic Festival traffic. :argh!:
Clubbing followed by Taco Bell
The kids we have as guests have informed me that they don't normally have any activities other than tv and computers.
They are six and three-ish.
:cry:
Quote from: Sigmatic on July 26, 2010, 09:31:46 PM
The kids we have as guests have informed me that they don't normally have any activities other than tv and computers.
They are six and three-ish.
:cry:
Amurrica's future leaders, right there.
Thread over.
(not really, keep going)
The older one seems a bit intelligent, but even she has no attention span whatsoever, and can't describe simple things to me. And is it normal not to know your own birthday at six?
Quote from: Sigmatic on July 26, 2010, 09:57:03 PM
The older one seems a bit intelligent, but even she has no attention span whatsoever, and can't describe simple things to me. And is it normal not to know your own birthday at six?
I'm pretty sure I did at that age...
Having a pretty nice house, a big TV, a shiny fancy car, and a motorcycle...and still complaining that you have to pay income tax *at all*.
(This is true of someone in my extended family.)
lol
I'm outraged that I should have to drive on asphalt roads to take my kids to free school at all!
Quote from: Mistress Freeky, HRN on July 26, 2010, 03:20:29 AM
Shit, my American moment was that I just watched that and said "Wow, even the foreigners know Palin is a nut job"
:lulz:
Well, yeah, she had shit written on her hand. If you need a cheat sheet for politics, you should just sit down and keep quiet.
Driving my Hummer to BJ's Wholesale Club to get gigantic tubs of cheese curls.
Quote from: Hover Cat on July 26, 2010, 09:24:40 PM
Clubbing followed by Taco Bell
That seems fairly reasonable to me. Clubbing is hard work, food is required afterward.
Quote from: Sigmatic on July 27, 2010, 03:25:50 AM
lol
I'm outraged that I should have to drive on asphalt roads to take my kids to free school at all!
:lulz:
Quote from: Cain on July 27, 2010, 11:41:18 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on July 26, 2010, 09:24:40 PM
Clubbing followed by Taco Bell
That seems fairly reasonable to me. Clubbing is hard work, food is required afterward.
The American part is Taco Bell. Gringo-fied Mexican food with giant serving sizes for ridiculously fucking cheap.
Today, I had an orientation (which I bailed on, because the place is shady). The lady giving it gave us rule lists which were absurdly draconian and horribly misspelled, and she was morbidly obese. Her fat pooled around her hips in one smooth roll, which dangled five inches below her hip bones (or where I can only guess they are). There was a dimple in the front of her jeans, a good three inches below where her hips must be, which I believe to be where her belly button. When she passed me, she smelled of fried food.
Quote from: Hover Cat on July 27, 2010, 11:34:51 PM
Quote from: Cain on July 27, 2010, 11:41:18 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on July 26, 2010, 09:24:40 PM
Clubbing followed by Taco Bell
That seems fairly reasonable to me. Clubbing is hard work, food is required afterward.
The American part is Taco Bell. Gringo-fied Mexican food with giant serving sizes for ridiculously fucking cheap.
Today, I had an orientation (which I bailed on, because the place is shady). The lady giving it gave us rule lists which were absurdly draconian and horribly misspelled, and she was morbidly obese. Her fat pooled around her hips in one smooth roll, which dangled five inches below her hip bones (or where I can only guess they are). There was a dimple in the front of her jeans, a good three inches below where her hips must be, which I believe to be where her belly button. When she passed me, she smelled of fried food.
:vom:
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on July 27, 2010, 11:44:13 PM
Quote from: Hover Cat on July 27, 2010, 11:34:51 PM
Quote from: Cain on July 27, 2010, 11:41:18 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on July 26, 2010, 09:24:40 PM
Clubbing followed by Taco Bell
That seems fairly reasonable to me. Clubbing is hard work, food is required afterward.
The American part is Taco Bell. Gringo-fied Mexican food with giant serving sizes for ridiculously fucking cheap.
Today, I had an orientation (which I bailed on, because the place is shady). The lady giving it gave us rule lists which were absurdly draconian and horribly misspelled, and she was morbidly obese. Her fat pooled around her hips in one smooth roll, which dangled five inches below her hip bones (or where I can only guess they are). There was a dimple in the front of her jeans, a good three inches below where her hips must be, which I believe to be where her belly button. When she passed me, she smelled of fried food.
:vom:
Oh sweet Strife, I know what you mean. I'll see people in restaurants like that and immediately think, "BOOMER!" There's one guy who frequents a pan-Asian buffet which I occasionally visit. His neck blubber is so voluminous that it drapes well over his neck and almost down to his nipples. It's kind of incredible. He's got well-trimmed facial hair, to his credit.
Being in Louisiana I see more than my share of them. Second-fattest state in the Union ftw. First-fattest state is Mississippi, and it fits right in with our unofficial state motto - "At least we're not Mississippi!"
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on July 27, 2010, 11:44:13 PM
Quote from: Hover Cat on July 27, 2010, 11:34:51 PM
Quote from: Cain on July 27, 2010, 11:41:18 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on July 26, 2010, 09:24:40 PM
Clubbing followed by Taco Bell
That seems fairly reasonable to me. Clubbing is hard work, food is required afterward.
The American part is Taco Bell. Gringo-fied Mexican food with giant serving sizes for ridiculously fucking cheap.
Today, I had an orientation (which I bailed on, because the place is shady). The lady giving it gave us rule lists which were absurdly draconian and horribly misspelled, and she was morbidly obese. Her fat pooled around her hips in one smooth roll, which dangled five inches below her hip bones (or where I can only guess they are). There was a dimple in the front of her jeans, a good three inches below where her hips must be, which I believe to be where her belly button. When she passed me, she smelled of fried food.
:vom:
:lulz:
Quote from: Zyzyx on July 27, 2010, 11:52:24 PM
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on July 27, 2010, 11:44:13 PM
Quote from: Hover Cat on July 27, 2010, 11:34:51 PM
Quote from: Cain on July 27, 2010, 11:41:18 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on July 26, 2010, 09:24:40 PM
Clubbing followed by Taco Bell
That seems fairly reasonable to me. Clubbing is hard work, food is required afterward.
The American part is Taco Bell. Gringo-fied Mexican food with giant serving sizes for ridiculously fucking cheap.
Today, I had an orientation (which I bailed on, because the place is shady). The lady giving it gave us rule lists which were absurdly draconian and horribly misspelled, and she was morbidly obese. Her fat pooled around her hips in one smooth roll, which dangled five inches below her hip bones (or where I can only guess they are). There was a dimple in the front of her jeans, a good three inches below where her hips must be, which I believe to be where her belly button. When she passed me, she smelled of fried food.
:vom:
Oh sweet Strife, I know what you mean. I'll see people in restaurants like that and immediately think, "BOOMER!" There's one guy who frequents a pan-Asian buffet which I occasionally visit. His neck blubber is so voluminous that it drapes well over his neck and almost down to his nipples. It's kind of incredible. He's got well-trimmed facial hair, to his credit.
Being in Louisiana I see more than my share of them. Second-fattest state in the Union ftw. First-fattest state is Mississippi, and it fits right in with our unofficial state motto - "At least we're not Mississippi!"
We say that quite a bit in Alabama, too.
Quote from: Hover Cat on July 27, 2010, 11:34:51 PM
Quote from: Cain on July 27, 2010, 11:41:18 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on July 26, 2010, 09:24:40 PM
Clubbing followed by Taco Bell
That seems fairly reasonable to me. Clubbing is hard work, food is required afterward.
The American part is Taco Bell. Gringo-fied Mexican food with giant serving sizes for ridiculously fucking cheap.
There is actually a Taco Bell in Interlaken (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interlaken). A Hooters, too. I don't know why. Watching people with German accents try to order Mexican-named food is very amusing, however. Also, for Switzerland, almost affordable.
Quote from: Cain on July 28, 2010, 12:31:01 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on July 27, 2010, 11:34:51 PM
Quote from: Cain on July 27, 2010, 11:41:18 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on July 26, 2010, 09:24:40 PM
Clubbing followed by Taco Bell
That seems fairly reasonable to me. Clubbing is hard work, food is required afterward.
The American part is Taco Bell. Gringo-fied Mexican food with giant serving sizes for ridiculously fucking cheap.
There is actually a Taco Bell in Interlaken (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interlaken). A Hooters, too. I don't know why. Watching people with German accents try to order Mexican-named food is very amusing, however. Also, for Switzerland, almost affordable.
That does sound fun. :D Better than listening to bros and their terrible pronunciation by far.
Puppet:
QuoteI 've been using internet since '95. I was a mirc-aholic.
My being in Greece is the easiest to be prooven. Find someone to help you dns my ip; I'll send you a blank email should that suits you best in order to retrieve it. I've been to many places, not yet the states..
Lets see.. what else..
Maybe you have been reading someone else's posts? I never talk bad unless provoked.
Then again, I'm not the *attention whore* (pardon my french, but it does interprets *exactly* what I mean) the past 2(?) hours.. Allthough I must admit that it IS fun.. I haven't loughed that hard for months .. Lets keep it on
Troll? Maybe
Poor? Naaah
Liar? Well, as I said in my introduction "It's up to you to find out whether the above are true".. But then again, some people read the last pages because they think they know the murderer..
"She"?? lol..
Lets give a brief resume here.. I got provoked in a post, 'asked' to introduce' myself.. You decided to bully me under the 'newbie' umbrella.. You have been answered (most efficient I may add), and then, right before you lost your pants the was Earthbound Spirit that asked you to lay off. WHAT A GREAT OPPORTUNITY to regain your ego! And then, naturally, you get the helpers! "I too had aunt that had a pimple on her nose and she liked marshmellows!!!! She has the SAME pimple! SHE ATE THE CANDY!!".. And then.. of course.. you get to be the great hero who run into the village to save it from the flood...
Let me give you a piece of advise .. When you envy THAT much mods/admins/whomever, it only makes you seem even less than what you think of yourself.. I think you are pretty immature... Please DONT be underaged.. It would spoil all the fun..
Never the less please feel free to elaborate. I really dont like the work I'm supposed to do tonight..
Amber Hawkmij: Isn't this an Americanized phrase as well?
I mean..do people in Greece say:
"Συγχώρηση γαλλικά μου" All the time?
Dok:
QuoteYep, she's a liar.
Puppet:
QuoteActually we do
If you deside to look it up, you'll find out that the root to that phrase is due to the 'sence' France had for people.. Erotic and pretty much *kinky* if you know what I mean
The actuall phrase is 'Συγχώρα μου τα Γαλλικά', or a phrase I like best 'Σχώρνα μου τα Γαλλικά μανίτσα μου..'
Dok:
QuoteNo freaking way did you just misspell "Sense" because of a language difficulty.
Nice try, Okie.
Puppet is a troll/mod puppet on the TCC. Or so we wholeheartedly believe.
What an american.
(http://www.superpoop.com/072810/beautiful-manufactured-home.jpg)
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
The foundation looks a little shaky.
Quote from: Jenne on July 29, 2010, 04:27:15 PM
(http://www.superpoop.com/072810/beautiful-manufactured-home.jpg)
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
OMG!!! :lulz:
Would that be Clermont.... Florida??
I'da put it in that Florida thread TTM started, but I didn't know it was Flor-eye-da...
I got this box of juice in mah fridge.
"Orange strawberry pineapple!
A blend of four juices and other natural flavors from concentrate"
Let me highlight those points again, just so you know it's not a typo.
ORANGE STRAWBERRY PINEAPPLE JUICE
A BLEND OF FOUR JUICES.
:lulz:
:lol: Guess there's a s00per sekr3t mystery juice in there somewhere?
I bet it's apple juice.
They'll never fess up to it though.
Quote from: Nast on July 30, 2010, 04:18:35 AM
I bet it's apple juice.
They'll never fess up to it though.
2nd most likely is pear juice, my guess.
Quote from: Cainad on July 30, 2010, 04:39:42 AM
Quote from: Nast on July 30, 2010, 04:18:35 AM
I bet it's apple juice.
They'll never fess up to it though.
2nd most likely is pear juice, my guess.
You're both right, but wouldn't that make it 5 juices? :lulz:
Quote from: Jenne on July 29, 2010, 04:27:15 PM
(http://www.superpoop.com/072810/beautiful-manufactured-home.jpg)
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
I want this, so that I can wander around trying to sell people a bridge for real.
Quote from: Sigmatic on July 26, 2010, 09:57:03 PM
The older one seems a bit intelligent, but even she has no attention span whatsoever, and can't describe simple things to me. And is it normal not to know your own birthday at six?
Noooooo
not normal! Not normal at all!
I didn't think so.
Poor kids are being raised on computers and teevee. They are unable to entertain themselves. Sad.
Quote from: Sigmatic on July 30, 2010, 11:00:15 PM
I didn't think so.
Poor kids are being raised on computers and teevee. They are unable to entertain themselves. Sad.
:sad:
At the dentist, sitting in the chair. Hispanic dentist, whitebread assistant.
[discussing the name of a new assistant]
Assistant: Rhona. Is that a Spanish name?
Dentist: No, but it sounds like "rana", which is "frog" in Spanish.
Assistant: Do names change in Spanish much?
Dentist: Some. Like, my name wouldn't. "Wendy" is still Wendy. But yours would be "Cyntia" instead of Cynthia.
Assistant: I don't think I can even pronounce that!
Dentist: Cyn-ti-a
Assistant: I won't even try!
Quote from: Hover Cat on July 31, 2010, 01:03:00 AM
At the dentist, sitting in the chair. Hispanic dentist, whitebread assistant.
[discussing the name of a new assistant]
Assistant: Rhona. Is that a Spanish name?
Dentist: No, but it sounds like "rana", which is "frog" in Spanish.
Assistant: Do names change in Spanish much?
Dentist: Some. Like, my name wouldn't. "Wendy" is still Wendy. But yours would be "Cyntia" instead of Cynthia.
Assistant: I don't think I can even pronounce that!
Dentist: Cyn-ti-a
Assistant: I won't even try!
:lol:
I know so many people who are like that. I don't get them.
I found 'pizza sauce' in a squeeze bottle at the grocery store last night.
Eh, we got that here. And considering what you Americans do to pizza sometimes, well that's probably the least of your Italian culinary faux pas.
Is pizza really Italian? I always figured they just pretended it was Italian to sell more of it.
Well, not any more.
It is Italian, but what we call pizza and what they call pizza...so is not the same. It's good, but not the same.
The last pizza sauce I had had pineapple and barbeque sauce. There was no Italian of any kind involved.
Come to think, that's a pretty American moment.
Quote from: Mistress Freeky, HRN on July 30, 2010, 03:31:48 AM
ORANGE STRAWBERRY PINEAPPLE JUICE
A BLEND OF FOUR JUICES.
No, no, it's orange, strawberry, pine, and apple. A blend of four juices.
Quote from: Father Kurt Christ on July 31, 2010, 03:32:55 AM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky, HRN on July 30, 2010, 03:31:48 AM
ORANGE STRAWBERRY PINEAPPLE JUICE
A BLEND OF FOUR JUICES.
No, no, it's orange, strawberry, pine, and apple. A blend of four juices.
PINE JUICE!!!! I can't describe how funny that is.
I want to see the juicer than can get pine juice.
I can't get an erection without invading Iraq first.
Quote from: Aucoq on July 31, 2010, 01:13:51 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on July 31, 2010, 01:03:00 AM
At the dentist, sitting in the chair. Hispanic dentist, whitebread assistant.
[discussing the name of a new assistant]
Assistant: Rhona. Is that a Spanish name?
Dentist: No, but it sounds like "rana", which is "frog" in Spanish.
Assistant: Do names change in Spanish much?
Dentist: Some. Like, my name wouldn't. "Wendy" is still Wendy. But yours would be "Cyntia" instead of Cynthia.
Assistant: I don't think I can even pronounce that!
Dentist: Cyn-ti-a
Assistant: I won't even try!
:lol:
I know so many people who are like that. I don't get them.
There's always a bunch in any foreign language class I've been in... pisses me off, honestly.
I got drunk at a sports bar last night after eating an over-sized, over-priced meal at an Italian franchise chain restaurant.
I got a new job that pays 3x what my existing one did by calling random numbers in the Yellow Pages and making up a resume full of jokes.
Quote from: vexati0n on July 31, 2010, 11:24:00 PM
I got a new job that pays 3x what my existing one did by calling random numbers in the Yellow Pages and making up a resume full of jokes.
:lol:
I am impressed, sir.
Quote from: vexati0n on July 31, 2010, 11:24:00 PM
I got a new job that pays 3x what my existing one did by calling random numbers in the Yellow Pages and making up a resume full of jokes.
How did you land that one?
Quote from: Ne+@uNGr0+ on August 01, 2010, 12:02:01 AM
Quote from: vexati0n on July 31, 2010, 11:24:00 PM
I got a new job that pays 3x what my existing one did by calling random numbers in the Yellow Pages and making up a resume full of jokes.
How did you land that one?
That's almost all there was to it. I got bored of selling shitty electronics and satellite TV's, so one day I just opened the phone book, turned to "networking" and called everybody in the list til I found a place that said they were hiring. When I found one, they said they wanted a resume, which I didn't have because I was a slacker who had never had a "real" job. So I opened Word, used the first blank Resume Template, and filled one out. Although, I didn't actually have much experience in the field they were looking for other than amateur stuff, so I filled it up with terrible jokes and puns about computers. They called me in for an interview, and after that they decided I wasn't cut out for the position I applied for. Instead, they hired me on to a position that paid twice as well and had more prestige. A position that wasn't actually open, too, as far as HR was concerned at the time.
I may have to try this.
Quote from: vexati0n on August 01, 2010, 01:10:04 AM
Quote from: Ne+@uNGr0+ on August 01, 2010, 12:02:01 AM
Quote from: vexati0n on July 31, 2010, 11:24:00 PM
I got a new job that pays 3x what my existing one did by calling random numbers in the Yellow Pages and making up a resume full of jokes.
How did you land that one?
That's almost all there was to it. I got bored of selling shitty electronics and satellite TV's, so one day I just opened the phone book, turned to "networking" and called everybody in the list til I found a place that said they were hiring. When I found one, they said they wanted a resume, which I didn't have because I was a slacker who had never had a "real" job. So I opened Word, used the first blank Resume Template, and filled one out. Although, I didn't actually have much experience in the field they were looking for other than amateur stuff, so I filled it up with terrible jokes and puns about computers. They called me in for an interview, and after that they decided I wasn't cut out for the position I applied for. Instead, they hired me on to a position that paid twice as well and had more prestige. A position that wasn't actually open, too, as far as HR was concerned at the time.
That is one of the most impressive stories I ever heard, especially considering "this economic climate".
Also, I went to a redneck wedding reception on Saturday. I don't have any specific horror stories, but someone did spill beer down my back.
Quote from: vexati0n on August 01, 2010, 01:10:04 AM
Quote from: Ne+@uNGr0+ on August 01, 2010, 12:02:01 AM
Quote from: vexati0n on July 31, 2010, 11:24:00 PM
I got a new job that pays 3x what my existing one did by calling random numbers in the Yellow Pages and making up a resume full of jokes.
How did you land that one?
That's almost all there was to it. I got bored of selling shitty electronics and satellite TV's, so one day I just opened the phone book, turned to "networking" and called everybody in the list til I found a place that said they were hiring. When I found one, they said they wanted a resume, which I didn't have because I was a slacker who had never had a "real" job. So I opened Word, used the first blank Resume Template, and filled one out. Although, I didn't actually have much experience in the field they were looking for other than amateur stuff, so I filled it up with terrible jokes and puns about computers. They called me in for an interview, and after that they decided I wasn't cut out for the position I applied for. Instead, they hired me on to a position that paid twice as well and had more prestige. A position that wasn't actually open, too, as far as HR was concerned at the time.
As far as I'm concerned, that is an all-time Epic Flawless Victory Win.
Holy crap, Vex.
Just went to the mall with my sister and bought Coach flip flops on sale, but we got even more money off when she used her Macy's card and a special coupon. She got Michael Kors and Guess shoes the same way.
Quote from: Sigmatic on August 02, 2010, 09:48:41 PM
Holy crap, Vex.
It's true, but it happened 4 years ago, before employers started getting all
cautious about who they hired.
4 years hasn't changed much, I thought.
Quote from: Sigmatic on July 30, 2010, 11:00:15 PM
I didn't think so.
Poor kids are being raised on computers and teevee. They are unable to entertain themselves. Sad.
When was child, Mother say 'here, has stick'.
Lo, within 10 minute mother say 'gimme that!' and took stick :(
That was when i learn to find own poking stick.
All childes should play outside, become smart like me.
But seriously, the only reason i ever watched tv as a kid was because no one was awake at 5 in the morning and i didn't want to make alot of noise.
(http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3244/2615938654_f66fa75a43.jpg)
I fucking hate people who think they are the only ones on this forsaken planet.
:argh!:
People who do that get my car right up on their driver side door.
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on August 03, 2010, 04:02:19 PM
People who do that get my car right up on their driver side door.
:lulz:
Hey, my car is a POS so I don't care if they ding it.
They obviously care more about their car than I care about mine.
Hahahah, now I don't even want a nice car. I want a good and shitty beater so I can do that too. :lulz:
Right now, I could give two shits about anything else because Tampa Bay is on top of every team in the entirety of Major League Baseball. :mrgreen:
Kanye West (http://twitter.com/kanyewest)
:lulz:
"Sex starved and picky."
-Dok Howl paraphrasing BLARFAWHATEVER
Quote from: Hamos on August 03, 2010, 03:24:20 PM
(http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3244/2615938654_f66fa75a43.jpg)
I fucking hate people who think they are the only ones on this forsaken planet.
:argh!:
ugh, i had to deal w/ that on Saturday...i was late to work on account of a holdup on the highway w/ stop-and-go traffic, and then i had trouble finding a parking space, the employee lot was full (I work at an amusement park; not my first choice but it's what was available and it's a paycheck) and when i finally found a spot in another lot, there was a car on each side of it and one was partly in my spot. :argh!: i would've left a note but i was already late, didn't have the time.
While at the store, I saw no fewer than four cars doing that, one of them taking up FOUR spaces.
I hate HumVees the MOST. Love this http://www.fuh2.com/ (http://www.fuh2.com/) about giving them the bird.
We need to wrap those kind of parked cars in yellow tape! (wonder how frowned upon that would be)
While at the fuel store I saw someone throwing a pck of smokes on the ground.
This really would not have bothered me so much but here was a trash bin not 3 feet away from the person.
When I said "Hey but there is a trash bin right there sir." I was called a bitch and told to fuck off.
Ah gotta love these times.
Quote from: Hamos on August 10, 2010, 04:04:46 PM
We need to wrap those kind of parked cars in yellow tape! (wonder how frowned upon that would be)
While at the fuel store I saw someone throwing a pck of smokes on the ground.
This really would not have bothered me so much but here was a trash bin not 3 feet away from the person.
When I said "Hey but there is a trash bin right there sir." I was called a bitch and told to fuck off.
Ah gotta love these times.
oy, they're rude. and a whole pack?! again: oy.
The cross walks here make noises so the blind know they can cross. Most places have an annoying dinging or an even more annoying voice announcing that you may cross or that you must wait.
The ones in my town sound like machine gun fire.
edited for silliness