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Messages - Doktor Howl

#1
Apple Talk / Re: On This Day in History
Today at 06:08:47 AM
Quote from: Faust on Yesterday at 03:24:10 PMBanned, because I cant figure out any read of that post other then supporting pedophile, anyone can see one I'll unban him

Nope.  You're good.
#2
Aneristic Illusions / Re: The Resistance 2.0!
November 05, 2025, 03:39:33 AM
Dems took the whole menu tonight.
#3
Apple Talk / Re: Tales from the Cutting Edge
October 27, 2025, 09:35:42 PM
Laura, it seems, was plunging out a toilet that a patient had attempted to flush 2 rolls of toilet paper and a shoe.

Me:  "Laura, when you're done with this, I need to see you in my office."

(Later)

Laura:  "You wanted to see me?"

Me:  "Yes, come in, sit down."

Laura:  *looks nervous*

Me:  "Laura, I need a maintenance lead.  Since you seem to be the only one working, you're it.  Provided you want the pay that goes with it."

Laura:  "You know I just started a month ago."

Me:  "Yes, so you haven't been contaminated.  Your job from this point forward is to make the crew work.  You will move up two pay grades to <amount>."

Laura:  "What about Mike?  He's going to shit kittens.  He really doesn't like me."

Me:  "Who?"

Laura:  "The guy you hauled into the office."

Me:  "Don't worry about that.  He was just a bad dream you had."

Laura:  <side eye>

Me:  "You can look at me like I'm one of our patients all you like.  It might even be accurate.  But Mike will no longer be a noisy distraction to your workday.  Looking at your resume, you worked for your dad's general contracting firm for 6 years.  How did you handle working in that rather delicate situation?"

Laura:  "I told people to work or hit the road."

Me:  "See?  No problems.  Tomorrow morning I will make the announcement and you will distribute the work.  If there are any problems, handle them.  Assign the work as you see fit.  Send people home as you see fit.  If you have trouble handling them, I will be very disappointed, at which point I will handle the problem.  Feel free to tell them that you are the soft option.  In any case, I have a new maintenance manager starting in a few weeks.  If you have proven yourself, you will continue to be the lead.  Do we have an agreement?"

Laura:  "Yes.  But I feel like Dr Faust for some reason, except Mephistopheles is crazy."

Me:  "That's not inappropriate."

Laura:  "..."

Me:  "We are going to do great things."
#4
Apple Talk / Re: Tales from the Cutting Edge
October 27, 2025, 09:21:24 PM
Day 1, October 27th:

Initial impression:  Shop is a mess.  The maintenance manager is shouting into the face of some young lady wearing a tool belt.  The rest of the crew is sitting at a table playing cards.  Manager notices me and turns away from the young lady and askes, and I quote, "What the fuck do you want?"

At my own request, none of my departments were told that I was hired.  You tend to get a more honest view of people that way. Apparently, I got a *very* honest view of this collection of bad wiring.

Me:  "I'm the new facilities director, as you can see from my ID.  Your ID says you are Mike, the *current* maintenance manager."

Mike:  "..."

Me:  "Let's have a little chat in your office.  Young lady, what is your name?"

Laura:  "I'm Laura."

Me:  "And you are a maintenance tech?"

Laura:  "Yes."

Me:  "Then please go do maintenance things.  The rest of you lot do the same."

(In the office)

Mike:  "Sorry about that, you know how dud employees can be."

Me:  "Why, yes I do.  Now, please get your environment of care binders out and let's see where we are for the next inspection."

Mike:  "Um"

Me:  "Never mind.  Here they are.  What's this?  There is nothing in this binder."

Mike:  "We don't have time for that shit."

Me:  "Yes, that might interfere in the card game.  How long have you been here?"

Mike:  "Two years."

Me:  "So you have never been in a joint commission inspection?  The one that happens in 25 days?"

Mike:  "No."

Me:  "So you are unaware that our license is at stake?"

Mike:  "I don't have to take this shit."

Me:  "No, you absolutely do not have to take this shit.  Clock out, please.  HR will call you tomorrow for a chat."

Mike:  "You can't do this."

Me:  "I can.  I did."

Mike:  "I will go over your head.  You'll be out of here so fast your head will spin."

Me:  "Please do.  The CEO hired me.  Let me know how it goes.  Only later, because you're clocking out now."

Mike:  *swears a lot, leaves*

Walking outside, the entire crew, minus Laura, is in the smoking area.

I am going to enjoy this more than would be considered reasonable.


#5
Quote from: Faust on October 17, 2025, 07:57:38 AMIt begins the outward normalisation of the transition from republican party, to white nationalist party, they want people to know, they want to get to the point that that they can come out of the closet with that.

They're already very comfortable with the idea.

#6
Quote from: Pergamos on October 17, 2025, 03:47:56 PM
Quote from: Faust on October 17, 2025, 07:57:38 AMIt begins the outward normalisation of the transition from republican party, to white nationalist party, they want people to know, they want to get to the point that that they can come out of the closet with that.

Fortunately I think they're rushing that a bit.  All the MAGAts I've talked to are still opposed to nazis, and the KKK. 

MAGAs aren't for talking to.
#7
Apple Talk / Re: Tales from the Cutting Edge
October 25, 2025, 04:08:23 AM
So I quit the biz.  I took a job as the facilities director at a mental hospital (who didn't see THIS coming), partly because I was getting bored, and partly because of The Thing getting loose, which severely tarnished (read: the vultures are circling) the company I was working for.

Also because I have turned over a new leaf.  I am a new man (You will politely ignore that I still have a consulting side gig in the biz).  No more shiny new war crimes, now I'm gonna HELP people.  So everyone stop screaming.

All I have to do is recruit a certain someone away from his gig in Connecticut and this will be perfect.  I start Monday.

We are going to do great things.  For crazy people.
#8
Apple Talk / Re: Tales from the Cutting Edge
October 17, 2025, 12:30:42 AM
Fire Inspector:  "You have munitions here."

Me: "Technically, those aren't munitions, and I have a room full of lawyers that will explain why."

Fire Inspector:  "But we're going to treat them as munitions.  Relax, you only have to make one change."

Me: "Okay."

Fire Inspector:  "You need to make your exit signs flash."

My Intrusive Thoughts:  "MAKE THEM FLASH AT 10 HERTZ!"

Me:  "That's metal as fuck."

Fire Inspector:  "What?"

Me:  "What?"
#9
This isn't a gen z thing.

There are plenty of gen x and millennial nazis.
#10
Quote from: navkat on October 14, 2025, 02:35:35 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 19, 2025, 09:27:48 PMThis sounds hopeless, but it's not.  Assuming you have a capacity for having more fun than you really wanted.

I don't want any of this fun but folks seem hellbent on dumping gallons of Everclear and a bag of roofies into the community punch-bowl so...let's gooooooo

Yeah, this is what they wanted.  They roofie their own drinks.
#11
Apple Talk / Re: ITT: Call It Now, Be Right Later
October 08, 2025, 09:58:36 PM
Quote from: Pergamos on October 08, 2025, 06:06:05 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 08, 2025, 05:18:45 PM
Quote from: Pergamos on October 08, 2025, 04:36:14 PM
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on October 08, 2025, 04:35:05 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 07, 2025, 10:12:59 PM
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on October 03, 2025, 02:48:30 PM
Quote from: Pergamos on October 02, 2025, 05:01:31 PMI'd rather be part of Canada

We don't want you.  You screwed up your country, we don't need you screwing up ours, too.

Yeah, he'd vote for the greens to benefit the conservatives or UCP because the liberals aren't pure enough for him.

And it's not just Pergamos in particular, or the people like him, we don't want any seceded states trying to join up.

Even the bluest of your blue states is politically very toxic, and we've already got at least two toxic provinces.  (I'm living in one of them).  It's enough.  Individual Americans who want to immigrate or seek asylum is one thing, but your systems are pure poison.

There is a lack of understanding south of the border about exactly how much hate has accumulated up here over the last several months.

Good,  I've seen a lot of talk about the West coast joining Canada and WA and OR have a lot of work to do to be up to Canadian standards, California meanwhile has a lot of work to do to be up to Mexican standards.

Now you have a problem with Mexico?

You're just a bundle of laughs, aren't you?

Nope, no problem with Mexico, some problems with California. 

You made it sound as if Mexico has very low standards.

Guess what?
#12
Apple Talk / Re: ITT: Call It Now, Be Right Later
October 08, 2025, 05:18:45 PM
Quote from: Pergamos on October 08, 2025, 04:36:14 PM
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on October 08, 2025, 04:35:05 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 07, 2025, 10:12:59 PM
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on October 03, 2025, 02:48:30 PM
Quote from: Pergamos on October 02, 2025, 05:01:31 PMI'd rather be part of Canada

We don't want you.  You screwed up your country, we don't need you screwing up ours, too.

Yeah, he'd vote for the greens to benefit the conservatives or UCP because the liberals aren't pure enough for him.

And it's not just Pergamos in particular, or the people like him, we don't want any seceded states trying to join up.

Even the bluest of your blue states is politically very toxic, and we've already got at least two toxic provinces.  (I'm living in one of them).  It's enough.  Individual Americans who want to immigrate or seek asylum is one thing, but your systems are pure poison.

There is a lack of understanding south of the border about exactly how much hate has accumulated up here over the last several months.

Good,  I've seen a lot of talk about the West coast joining Canada and WA and OR have a lot of work to do to be up to Canadian standards, California meanwhile has a lot of work to do to be up to Mexican standards.

Now you have a problem with Mexico?

You're just a bundle of laughs, aren't you?
#13
Or Kill Me / Re: The End of Discordianism
October 08, 2025, 05:45:39 AM
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on October 08, 2025, 05:25:03 AMThe root of Discordia is petty spite.

Been sayin' it.

QuoteDo you get it, now?  Trump is born of Eris.  Trump is the incarnation of Eris.  Trump is Eris.  He is petty, spiteful, random, careless of consequences.  He's exactly the kind of god you wanted, the one you voted for, and now he's wandering free over the Earth, crashing everyone's party!

I said the same thing about GWB in 2003 and damn near got lynched in this bitch.
#14
Apple Talk / Re: ITT: Call It Now, Be Right Later
October 08, 2025, 05:31:46 AM
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on October 08, 2025, 04:35:05 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 07, 2025, 10:12:59 PM
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on October 03, 2025, 02:48:30 PM
Quote from: Pergamos on October 02, 2025, 05:01:31 PMI'd rather be part of Canada

We don't want you.  You screwed up your country, we don't need you screwing up ours, too.

Yeah, he'd vote for the greens to benefit the conservatives or UCP because the liberals aren't pure enough for him.

And it's not just Pergamos in particular, or the people like him, we don't want any seceded states trying to join up.

Even the bluest of your blue states is politically very toxic, and we've already got at least two toxic provinces.  (I'm living in one of them).  It's enough.  Individual Americans who want to immigrate or seek asylum is one thing, but your systems are pure poison.

There is a lack of understanding south of the border about exactly how much hate has accumulated up here over the last several months.

I'm aware.  I'm from Canada, most of my relatives still live there.

They seem less than enchanted with the USA.  CAN'T IMAGINE WHY.
#15
Apple Talk / Re: Andy Rooney Moment
October 07, 2025, 11:47:14 PM
Just a little over two years later:

What the fuck was I worried about?  The last thing in the world I want right now is to be connected to people, given two basic facts:

1.  Many of these people will be hauled off by the back of the neck by fat sadists in tactical gear (right now it's only ICE, but they will be more of them shortly, with an ever-increasing set of jurisdictions), and

2.  Many of them voted for this, either by actively voting for the lumpy orange thing, or by being too pure and righteous to vote for the only alternative that was actually possible.

I am not interested in saving them, or anyone, and I'd rather not get hauled off with them.  When I get hauled off, I want it to be because I couldn't shut my own big fucking mouth. 

So I am in fact here to laugh over the smoking remains of the republic, and at the shocked people with leopards chewing on their faces.  Fuck them, and fuck you.  None of you are my people.  *I* am my people.

The only person from this board that is currently living in America that I give a shit about is Queen Gogira, because she DID THE FUCKING WORK.  Too bad there was only one of her.  And ECH, but I don't think he has much to worry about.  He is a brute of a man who would use ICE thugs as hackey sacks.

As for the rest of the "discordians" who all fell off over silly shit, I am making a voodoo doll of each of you, and then I am shoving them up my own ass. Just to see how many fit.

In the meantime, we're damn near done with the plasma gravel thing, and I find that more interesting than a pack of goobers that crawled up their own arse.

So that's all.

Good luck.