ATTN: TRIXIE

[Precious Moments Zalgo]

You know what? I take it back.  That was unexpectedly funny, even when taking into account the Office Space homage.

trix is all right with me.  Still and asshole, but all right.

It would have been better if the pack wasn't empty.  I was expecting to see broken cigarettes and bits of tobacco in the closeup at the end, but it was just a mangled empty box.

Still funny, though.

[Luna]

Now I think I know why Dok keeps warning me not to fuck with you.

Just think of Little Billy.   

I can't, the shuddering convulsions frighten my coworkers, and the crying disturbs the folks next door in the Town Hall.

[Don Coyote]

You all have bad wiring in your heads.

[Doktor Howl]

You all have bad wiring in your heads.

I can't help it.  I've been fucked up and paranoid since Chuck Cunningham vanished.

[Freeky]

He went up the stairs, but never came down again!!!

[trix]

You know what? I take it back.  That was unexpectedly funny, even when taking into account the Office Space homage.

trix is all right with me.  Still and asshole, but all right.

It would have been better if the pack wasn't empty.  I was expecting to see broken cigarettes and bits of tobacco in the closeup at the end, but it was just a mangled empty box.

Still funny, though.

I considered the same thing when filming.  However, I spent all my money paying those guys in the video to be my friend long enough to make this, and had none left to waste on perfectly good cigarettes.

Interestingly, I smoke Newports, and the original plan was to use an empty pack of mine.  However, my token black friend informed me that a bunch of white guys beating the crap out of a pack of Newports might be seen as racist.  After scratching my head at that wtf moment, we went and raided some hillbilly's trash looking for the Marlboro's.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

He went up the stairs, but never came down again!!!

I thought he left for basketball pratice?  That is all I can remember him doing before he just wasn't anymore.

[trix]

He's shaping up better than I thought he would.

You think so... until the big reveal... that underneath this awesome exterior I'm really POPTARD ALL ALONG!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
















....just kidding!
Really, it was a joke!

Put down the pitchforks!

[Don Coyote]

You know what? I take it back.  That was unexpectedly funny, even when taking into account the Office Space homage.

trix is all right with me.  Still and asshole, but all right.

It would have been better if the pack wasn't empty.  I was expecting to see broken cigarettes and bits of tobacco in the closeup at the end, but it was just a mangled empty box.

Still funny, though.

I considered the same thing when filming.  However, I spent all my money paying those guys in the video to be my friend long enough to make this, and had none left to waste on perfectly good cigarettes.

Interestingly, I smoke Newports, and the original plan was to use an empty pack of mine.  However, my token black friend informed me that a bunch of white guys beating the crap out of a pack of Newports might be seen as racist.  After scratching my head at that wtf moment, we went and raided some hillbilly's trash looking for the Marlboro's.

Good call.

[East Coast Hustle]

Not really. "Good call" went out the window at the part where he smokes Newports.

Did you know they make non-menthol Newports now? Newport Reds? WTF? Was there a demand for that?

[trix]

Not really. "Good call" went out the window at the part where he smokes Newports.

Did you know they make non-menthol Newports now? Newport Reds? WTF? Was there a demand for that?

Someone at my school had those.  I tried them, they taste rather bland to me.  If I was to smoke non menthol, it'd be Marlboro reds.

But I love Newports, it's like being punched in the chest by a menthol fist with every drag!  Other brands just don't feel as manly.

[East Coast Hustle]

I smoke American Spirits. The black pack, with the heavy Perique blend. You gotta roll the filter on Spirits to loosen it up or it's like trying to smoke a milkshake, but damn those things are rugged. They take about 15 minutes to smoke.

[trix]

I smoke American Spirits. The black pack, with the heavy Perique blend. You gotta roll the filter on Spirits to loosen it up or it's like trying to smoke a milkshake, but damn those things are rugged. They take about 15 minutes to smoke.

Is that what you're smoking in your avatar pic?

[East Coast Hustle]

Nah, that's a Black & Mild. I smoke one for luck every time the ship leaves or returns to port.

And by "for luck" I mean "for the purpose of annoying the scientists when the smoke blows into the wetlab so I can figure out which one is going to be the uptight jerkoff that needs some petasol added to their breakfast".

[Jenne]

Smoking American Spirits period takes forever.  No such thing as a "quick smoke" with those...even with the much milder organge packs.