The Parlor Problem

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Also, men who patronize prostitutes tend not to be quadraplegics or sexual "charity cases". As a rule they tend to be married and into secretly degrading women. Look at the guys Aileen Wuornos killed. 

Men who patronize prostitutes tend to be either sexually compulsive or very lonely. But that's not what we're talking about. Are you capable of turning off your filter enough to have a conversation about the topic at hand?

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Sex is a human drive, for most humans. And along with touch and companionship, lack of sex can make adult humans depressed and irrational. Inability to get laid is not a character flaw in itself.

All my favorite people have no problem getting laid. 

Uhhh

in-group bias, anyone?

Maybe. But people who are considered "unattractive" always manage to have sex. People work around all kinds of medical conditions to have sex. Poor people have sex, mentally handicapped people have sex, almost any misfortune AT ALL can befall a person, and they still have sex.

So if it's not physical, or economic, or anything shallow like that, what is it in a person that inspires so much revulsion that they become a total sexual pariah? I really haven't known very many people like that, but the ones I have known were pretty horrible people.

There are people here on this board who have gone extended periods of time without being able to get laid. Years, even.

There are people who are extremely shy or socially awkward who have a hard time connecting with other people.

There are people with mental or physical disabilities, people who are old or isolated or have had trauma, people who are recently divorced or in the process of divorce and don't want to inflict their mess on another person, married people whose spouses are traveling or hospitalized, who have no desire to have an affair or pick up a one-night stand but who still need sexual contact, and a massage with sexual release provides that contact in a totally safe, controlled environment.

You are probably aware of my position on prostitution. I am not justifying prostitution as we know it. I am saying that in a better, more egalitarian, more compassionate society, I can see a place where sex services could hold a respected place in much the same way other human services do.

I don't see an egalitarian, compassionate society for a long time yet. If ever. And I'm not talking about dry spells, I'm talking about creeps.

If a person is starved for contact, there's plenty of social opportunities for non-sexual hugging, etc. If a person wants a nut so bad they can't stand it, there's masturbation.

I don't view sex as a "need". A drive, yes, it can inform a lot more of our decision making process. (Maulaul, anyone?  ) but not a need. If it was a "need", wouldn't rape be justified, the same way stealing food is? (OK, you can go to jail for stealing food, but that's fucked up. I would totally defend somebody who had no option but to steal food.) Rape violates another person's free will, but so does stealing someone's food.

[guryaf]

Rape violates another person's free will, but so does stealing someone's food.

I'm not sure those are comparable....

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Rape violates another person's free will, but so does stealing someone's food.

I'm not sure those are comparable....

They're not.

My point was that food is a need. Sex isn't.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Rape violates another person's free will, but so does stealing someone's food.

I'm not sure those are comparable....

They're not.

My point was that food is a need. Sex isn't.

I disagree.  Not all needs are fatal if not indulged.  Sex is a need.  The weird shit going on in China is evidence of that, if we didn't already know this decades ago.

[Telarus]

Sex is a human drive, for most humans. And along with touch and companionship, lack of sex can make adult humans depressed and irrational. Inability to get laid is not a character flaw in itself.

I agree: see also the work of Wilhelm Reich (they BURNED it it was so threatening).

Also, how do you all feel about the situation where the recipient of the happy ending is female (include both sexes of masseuse)?

So far we have really only talked about happy endings for men. I am curious about how people here feel about the increasingly common practice of happy endings for women? Same? Different? Why?

http://www.herprivatepleasures.com/

Well damn, Nigel beat me to it. OK. Still catching up.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Also, men who patronize prostitutes tend not to be quadraplegics or sexual "charity cases". As a rule they tend to be married and into secretly degrading women. Look at the guys Aileen Wuornos killed. 

Men who patronize prostitutes tend to be either sexually compulsive or very lonely. But that's not what we're talking about. Are you capable of turning off your filter enough to have a conversation about the topic at hand?

Sexually compulsive guys who aren't into degrading women just fuck around a lot. They have a lot of regular girlfriends, they care about the girlfriends, they're just not into a monogamous commitment thing. They're generally well-liked. Prostitution is another story. "Get me off and STFU and go away."

And low-rent depressing sex is no remedy for loneliness. If anything, it compounds it.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Also, how do you all feel about the situation where the recipient of the happy ending is female (include both sexes of masseuse)?

Same thing.

That guy seems to have more autonomy than the female hookers have ("Height weight proportional" = "I'll jack you off for $$$ - NO FAT CHICKS!"...what a prize he is.  ) but it's still creepy.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Rape violates another person's free will, but so does stealing someone's food.

I'm not sure those are comparable....

They're not.

My point was that food is a need. Sex isn't.

I disagree.  Not all needs are fatal if not indulged.  Sex is a need.  The weird shit going on in China is evidence of that, if we didn't already know this decades ago.

Which weird shit? China has TONS of weird shit, hard to sort it all out. 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Also, how do you all feel about the situation where the recipient of the happy ending is female (include both sexes of masseuse)?

Irrelevant.

And I'm going to reitterate that my position on this is opinion based on anecdotal observations in a limited area.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Rape violates another person's free will, but so does stealing someone's food.

I'm not sure those are comparable....

They're not.

My point was that food is a need. Sex isn't.

I disagree.  Not all needs are fatal if not indulged.  Sex is a need.  The weird shit going on in China is evidence of that, if we didn't already know this decades ago.

Which weird shit? China has TONS of weird shit, hard to sort it all out. 

The random stabbing sprees, which are linked to men who have given up on all hope of marrying, due to the incredible disparity in the ratio of men/women.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Rape violates another person's free will, but so does stealing someone's food.

I'm not sure those are comparable....

They're not.

My point was that food is a need. Sex isn't.

I disagree.  Not all needs are fatal if not indulged.  Sex is a need.  The weird shit going on in China is evidence of that, if we didn't already know this decades ago.

Which weird shit? China has TONS of weird shit, hard to sort it all out. 

The random stabbing sprees, which are linked to men who have given up on all hope of marrying, due to the incredible disparity in the ratio of men/women.

Hadn't heard about those, going to google.

Want to say first that you bring up a good point about not all unmet needs causing death. The need for freedom is one. People have a kind of psychological break, Stockholm Syndrome, or institutionalized behaviors.

Just not sure that "no sex" fits this. The stabbing sprees could have other contributing factors, China's fucked up in LOTS of ways. Going to look into it, though.

[LMNO]

Sex is an evolutionary biological urge.  Sex, and by association physical contact, triggers an enormous biochemical edocrine cascade of hormones that affect the body and brain, and ultimately, the way we feel, behave, and function.

I am really puzzled why you would think that something which has been wired so deeply in our bodies and minds for billions of years is somehow not a "need".

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Sex is an evolutionary biological urge.  Sex, and by association physical contact, triggers an enormous biochemical edocrine cascade of hormones that affect the body and brain, and ultimately, the way we feel, behave, and function.

I am really puzzled why you would think that something which has been wired so deeply in our bodies and minds for billions of years is somehow not a "need".

Because a lot of people manage to go without it for extended periods without having a psychotic break or going on a stabbing spree.

I'm curious about that. Google turns up individual cases but I can't find anything on it being a trend. I'm wondering if it's simply a matter of not getting laid or if there's other factors involved. The idea that family is vital is pretty ingrained in Chinese culture, isn't the reason they kept all those boys to begin with because they way it's set up over there, you need sons to take care of you when you're old?

[Freeky]

Sex is an evolutionary biological urge.  Sex, and by association physical contact, triggers an enormous biochemical edocrine cascade of hormones that affect the body and brain, and ultimately, the way we feel, behave, and function.

I am really puzzled why you would think that something which has been wired so deeply in our bodies and minds for billions of years is somehow not a "need".

Because a lot of people manage to go without it for extended periods without having a psychotic break or going on a stabbing spree.

I'm curious about that. Google turns up individual cases but I can't find anything on it being a trend. I'm wondering if it's simply a matter of not getting laid or if there's other factors involved. The idea that family is vital is pretty ingrained in Chinese culture, isn't the reason they kept all those boys to begin with because they way it's set up over there, you need sons to take care of you when you're old?

It's so the family name gets to live on.

And depression/irrational behavior =/= stabbing spree.