Excuse me while I vomit.- Trigger Warning for Rape and Rape Culture.

[Pope Lecherous]

Objection and resistance are what people use to mark and reinforce their boundaries. An objection shows you where the boundary is; resistance is pushing back when you try to cross it.

I think this is the core of the matter. 

If a person has a dogma and a belief that is unchangeable I respect it as a solid boundary.  I deal with them accordingly, in most cases this means not at all. e.g. a religious person and i respect their choice.  I leave it be.  This applies to all people i interact with.

On the other hand, I regard people's boundaries the same way i regard ideas.  They can be challenged and criticized. 

I feel that if i can show a person that their belief is wrong or unfounded, maybe they can do the thing that Roger gives you so much credit for:  Admitting they are wrong.  They don't have to admit it to me, only to themselves, if they are capable.  I don't force people to see.  When talking to women I give them hints and suggestions to indicate that their idea is wrong, and i respect them enough to let them come to their own conclusion.  In other words, i plant the seed of doubt.  I plant the seed of doubt in them regarding their boundaries and/or objections.  If they come to realize that their boundaries aren't necessary OR aren't necessary with me, great.  Otherwise, I move on.

I'm still trying to communicate here.  I think this paints a pretty good general picture.

Your way of talking about boundaries creeps me out, dude.  Culturally and generally speaking, the way women are conditioned to behave, (being nice, polite, people pleasing and non-confrontational) means that we have a massive minefield to negotiate in certain social situations, especially if we are trying to recognise where we have failed to implement them in the past to our personal detriment.  A lot of guys I have met are totally unaware of this, and sadly, you seem to be one of them.

I understand how it can make people uncomfortable, but not exactly how it is creepy.

Regarding social pressure, I am acutely aware of this.  I do sometimes highlight the system as backwards and stupid to preempt this, if i have gathered that a person is feeling uncomfortable with a social situation or with social situations in general.  If the pressure is already very real for them, i do not push whatsoever.  I do not want to be someone's regret.  I'd liken it to the business man who pushes an envelope forward on the table while remaining silent. The person considers it and makes their decision and I continue with whatever path is appropriate.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Objection and resistance are what people use to mark and reinforce their boundaries. An objection shows you where the boundary is; resistance is pushing back when you try to cross it.

I think this is the core of the matter. 

If a person has a dogma and a belief that is unchangeable I respect it as a solid boundary.  I deal with them accordingly, in most cases this means not at all. e.g. a religious person and i respect their choice.  I leave it be.  This applies to all people i interact with.

On the other hand, I regard people's boundaries the same way i regard ideas.  They can be challenged and criticized. 

I feel that if i can show a person that their belief is wrong or unfounded, maybe they can do the thing that Roger gives you so much credit for:  Admitting they are wrong.  They don't have to admit it to me, only to themselves, if they are capable.  I don't force people to see.  When talking to women I give them hints and suggestions to indicate that their idea is wrong, and i respect them enough to let them come to their own conclusion.  In other words, i plant the seed of doubt.  I plant the seed of doubt in them regarding their boundaries and/or objections.  If they come to realize that their boundaries aren't necessary OR aren't necessary with me, great.  Otherwise, I move on.

I'm still trying to communicate here.  I think this paints a pretty good general picture.

In other words, you are a manipulative scumbag who doesn't respect women at all.

[Pope Lecherous]

Fuck you, BF. Boundaries exist because, as humans, we need them.

Do you need all the boundaries you have set up?  How many of them come from an unjustified fear and you don't even realize it?  Do you fear strangers or do you have a healthy respect for how dangerous human beings can be?  There is a difference.

Challenging/criticizing/trying to make me or any other female doubt our boundaries is NOT OKAY. You may think they're unnecessary, but you're a man and a stranger; you don't know why they exist and have demonstrated zero interest in learning why.
So fuck off.

Your boundaries are as sacred to me as your ideas.  Some are firmly rooted in your knowledge and experience and can not/need not be challenged, others not as much. This is something you we will probably disagree on, but if you can explain it to  me in another way i'm more than willing to listen.

Quite frankly, I'm concerned for the safety of any female and/or woman in your vicinity.

Quite frankly you should be concerned for the safety of all human beings in my vicinity especially my enemies, but it's pretty hard to make me an enemy of me.  I found out THIS morning that a friend of mine has been GANG RAPED.  What do you think i feel about this situation?  Say some fucked up shit.  Crack a fucking joke like you think i don't give a shit and you'll have not made yourself an enemy, but permanently written yourself off at the least.  What did her boyfriend say?  He said that she was ruined and no longer desirable. Imagine how you feel about that.  The only person in this world who feels worse is the victim.  A dear friend of mine.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Your description of women's boundaries being an "idea" and their "idea" being "wrong" is laughable, pathetic, and repulsive all at once.

If you have to convince someone they're wrong about you in order to get laid, you're starting square one as a retarded piece of shit. "I convinced her she was wrong, so she had sex with me"

Ooooh, now there's an ego-boosting encounter for you. Betcha feel pretty great about that. I know that whenever I convince someone they were wrong and that they should sleep with me after all, I feel really validated and desirable.

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

Fuck you, BF. Boundaries exist because, as humans, we need them. Challenging/criticizing/trying to make me or any other female doubt our boundaries is NOT OKAY. You may think they're unnecessary, but you're a man and a stranger; you don't know why they exist and have demonstrated zero interest in learning why.
So fuck off.

Quite frankly, I'm concerned for the safety of any female and/or woman in your vicinity.

CRITICISING OR ATTEMPTING TO MAKE SOMEONE DOUBT THEMSELVES WHEN TRYING TO ENFORCE THEIR BOUNDARIES IS A DOUCHEBAG MOVE. end of fucking story.  You could ask them why they are uncomfortable, sure, that's not douchey most of the time.  Blackfoot may THINK that their fears are unfounded, BUT he's failing to get how rape culture is formed.

I have a feeling that the Schrodinger's Rapist link I posted further up in the thread got totally bypassed, and this pisses me off, as I think this would be a useful tool for Blackfoot.

[Pope Lecherous]

In other words, you are a manipulative scumbag who doesn't respect women at all.

Yea.  That's the best way for people learn things. When they come to realize it themselves.  I respect people enough to let them make their own decision about me after i present my case.  I allow others the courtesy to present themselves and their ideas before i make a decision about them.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Fuck you, BF. Boundaries exist because, as humans, we need them.

Do you need all the boundaries you have set up?  How many of them come from an unjustified fear and you don't even realize it?  Do you fear strangers or do you have a healthy respect for how dangerous human beings can be?  There is a difference.

Challenging/criticizing/trying to make me or any other female doubt our boundaries is NOT OKAY. You may think they're unnecessary, but you're a man and a stranger; you don't know why they exist and have demonstrated zero interest in learning why.
So fuck off.

Your boundaries are as sacred to me as your ideas.  Some are firmly rooted in your knowledge and experience and can not/need not be challenged, others not as much. This is something you we will probably disagree on, but if you can explain it to  me in another way i'm more than willing to listen.

The thing that disturbs me is that you have no idea how paternalistic, condescending, disrespectful, and fucked-up you sound right now. Do you know who thinks they know better than women, about what women really want and what's good for them? Misogynists.

Boundaries change as people grow, but one thing that is NOT the route to growth is having them challenged by some horny asshole at a club. I am not convinced you even know what boundaries are, psychologically and behaviorally speaking.

Quite frankly, I'm concerned for the safety of any female and/or woman in your vicinity.

Quite frankly you should be concerned for the safety of all human beings in my vicinity especially my enemies, but it's pretty hard to make me an enemy of me.  I found out THIS morning that a friend of mine has been GANG RAPED.  What do you think i feel about this situation?  Say some fucked up shit.  Crack a fucking joke like you think i don't give a shit and you'll have not made yourself an enemy, but permanently written yourself off at the least.  What did her boyfriend say?  He said that she was ruined and no longer desirable. Imagine how you feel about that.  The only person in this world who feels worse is the victim.  A dear friend of mine.

Annnd a non-sequitur story that's both designed to show us what a tough guy he is, AND how he's a White Knight Hero of Women.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

In other words, you are a manipulative scumbag who doesn't respect women at all.

Yea.  That's the best way for people learn things. When they come to realize it themselves.  I respect people enough to let them make their own decision about me after i present my case.  I allow others the courtesy to present themselves and their ideas before i make a decision about them.

Fuck you, BF. Boundaries exist because, as humans, we need them. Challenging/criticizing/trying to make me or any other female doubt our boundaries is NOT OKAY. You may think they're unnecessary, but you're a man and a stranger; you don't know why they exist and have demonstrated zero interest in learning why.
So fuck off.

Quite frankly, I'm concerned for the safety of any female and/or woman in your vicinity.

CRITICISING OR ATTEMPTING TO MAKE SOMEONE DOUBT THEMSELVES WHEN TRYING TO ENFORCE THEIR BOUNDARIES IS A DOUCHEBAG MOVE. end of fucking story.  You could ask them why they are uncomfortable, sure, that's not douchey most of the time.  Blackfoot may THINK that their fears are unfounded, BUT he's failing to get how rape culture is formed.

I have a feeling that the Schrodinger's Rapist link I posted further up in the thread got totally bypassed, and this pisses me off, as I think this would be a useful tool for Blackfoot.

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

Maybe I should post the link again, for yuks.

http://kateharding.net/2009/10/08/guest-blogger-starling-schrodinger%E2%80%99s-rapist-or-a-guy%E2%80%99s-guide-to-approaching-strange-women-without-being-maced/

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

In other words, you are a manipulative scumbag who doesn't respect women at all.

Yea.  That's the best way for people learn things. When they come to realize it themselves.  I respect people enough to let them make their own decision about me after i present my case.  I allow others the courtesy to present themselves and their ideas before i make a decision about them.

If you are "presenting a case" for why a woman should sleep with you, you are pathetic. 

[Pope Lecherous]

Your description of women's boundaries being an "idea" and their "idea" being "wrong" is laughable, pathetic, and repulsive all at once.

People's boundaries. and why?

If you have to convince someone they're wrong about you in order to get laid, you're starting square one as a retarded piece of shit. "I convinced her she was wrong, so she had sex with me"

I put myself out there and people take it or leave it.  It can only bother me so much when they don't.

Ooooh, now there's an ego-boosting encounter for you. Betcha feel pretty great about that. I know that whenever I convince someone they were wrong and that they should sleep with me after all, I feel really validated and desirable.

I think this was discussed in a previous post.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Your description of women's boundaries being an "idea" and their "idea" being "wrong" is laughable, pathetic, and repulsive all at once.

People's boundaries. and why?

If you have to convince someone they're wrong about you in order to get laid, you're starting square one as a retarded piece of shit. "I convinced her she was wrong, so she had sex with me"

I put myself out there and people take it or leave it.  It can only bother me so much when they don't.

Ooooh, now there's an ego-boosting encounter for you. Betcha feel pretty great about that. I know that whenever I convince someone they were wrong and that they should sleep with me after all, I feel really validated and desirable.

I think this was discussed in a previous post.

Because apparently you are the Great and Wise Blackfoot, and you know better than other people what's good for them, and what they really want. 

Drunk club girls, at least.

[Pope Lecherous]

If you are "presenting a case" for why a woman should sleep with you, you are pathetic. 

If you are conscious of how you behave around others then you also "present" yourself in a certain manner whether you like to believe that you "just be yourself" or not.  People don't get a different me when they speak to me, they get my reaction to them in that environment.  That's it.

[Pope Lecherous]

Because apparently you are the Great and Wise Blackfoot, and you know better than other people what's good for them, and what they really want. 

Drunk club girls, at least.

I know what i can offer better than they can and that's all i do, offer me and a good time.

[Juana]

Pixie, I almost copy-pasta'd part of that article for BF, specifically the fourth rule in the guide. So yeah, BF, go fucking read that article.

Fuck you, BF. Boundaries exist because, as humans, we need them.

Do you need all the boundaries you have set up?  How many of them come from an unjustified fear and you don't even realize it?  Do you fear strangers or do you have a healthy respect for how dangerous human beings can be?  There is a difference.

Sure do, since most of my boundaries consist of what I will and will not tolerate from other human beings and it is NOT for you to determine what boundaries I need or why I have them. I'm appalled that you think you have the right to make me question my boundaries.
Strange women/females? No, I'm not afraid or wary of them automatically. But I am automatically wary of men until I get to know them because I have to be. (and TBH, it would probably be wiser to be a little wary of even men I know until I know I can 100% trust them to respect my boundaries, since most victims know their attacker)

Challenging/criticizing/trying to make me or any other female doubt our boundaries is NOT OKAY. You may think they're unnecessary, but you're a man and a stranger; you don't know why they exist and have demonstrated zero interest in learning why.
So fuck off.

Your boundaries are as sacred to me as your ideas.  Some are firmly rooted in your knowledge and experience and can not/need not be challenged, others not as much. This is something you we will probably disagree on, but if you can explain it to  me in another way i'm more than willing to listen.

Boundaries are not at all like ideas. Boundaries are what you are comfortable with, what is and isn't okay to do to your person. Pushing boundaries will make people uncomfortable and afraid in ways that are not at all like the discomfort and fear people experience when their thoughts are challenged.
When you try to "plant a seed of doubt" in a person who has boundaries that are inconvenient for you, you are basically telling them they have no right to their person and to their feelings.
Which, fuck you, they do.

Quite frankly, I'm concerned for the safety of any female and/or woman in your vicinity.

Quite frankly you should be concerned for the safety of all human beings in my vicinity especially my enemies, but it's pretty hard to make me an enemy of me.  I found out THIS morning that a friend of mine has been GANG RAPED.  What do you think i feel about this situation?  Say some fucked up shit.  Crack a fucking joke like you think i don't give a shit and you'll have not made yourself an enemy, but permanently written yourself off at the least.  What did her boyfriend say?  He said that she was ruined and no longer desirable. Imagine how you feel about that.  The only person in this world who feels worse is the victim.  A dear friend of mine.

ALL ABOARD THE DERAIL.