Excuse me while I vomit.- Trigger Warning for Rape and Rape Culture.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

I don't think so. I think he has simply not quite (and hopefully a "yet" will go in there) fully realized that other people's feelings, and their desires, motivations, and boundaries are equally important to his own. I am guessing/hoping that he is  still quite young, and that his experiences are still limited enough to explain his limited understanding of other people as authentic autonomous beings.

It was probably weird for me when I realized that girls are people. I don't remember exactly because I didn't think in words at the time.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Funnily enough, I AM in the business of making connections with people

Not with. FOR

Well, that is good to hear.

Making connections "for" people? What does that mean? The closest thing I can think of is facilitating a connection between one person and another person... you can't make connections "for" another person.

If you are trying to make a connection with another person and you meet resistance, and you want to progress the level of intimacy so that you no longer meet resistance, the only ethical thing to do is work WITH their boundaries and develop intimacy until the boundary no longer applies to your relationship with them.

I'd like to point out that your incessant use of passive voice is really offputting.

read as "Mental connections between ideas and concepts."  That should put the original quote in a whole new light for you.

I guess I'm doing it wrong, I've never thought of women as a puzzle box I'm supposed to fuck with until they become "opened for me."

That is the funnest and most rewarding part for me is the process of learning how and why a person thinks the way they do and in turn who they are, interesting people at least.  Sex usually just happens after this and it's great.  Even greater is that it never really ends.  It's so difficult to understand the depths of a person that it can go and go until a married couple has 200 years between them.

Admittedly I'm terrible at playing the game, but I've always failed when I made my objective sex. I tend to have more success when my objective is making a connection with a person.

That's where the whole game concept comes in, as distasteful as it sounds.  The process of courting, learning... whatever you want to call it.

The idea that you can "make mental connections between ideas and concepts" FOR another person is unbelievably egotistical and condescending. 

I think it's trying to IMPRESS you, Nigel. 

I don't think so. I think he has simply not quite (and hopefully a "yet" will go in there) fully realized that other people's feelings, and their desires, motivations, and boundaries are equally important to his own. I am guessing/hoping that he is  still quite young, and that his experiences are still limited enough to explain his limited understanding of other people as authentic autonomous beings.

Yeah. If he's fourteen, it's easier to overlook a lot of it.

I didn't know that about your dad. Holy fuck.

Yeah, dad is quite the thing. He is a superb human being and a completely stellar father, but there have been some controversies that have come out as he ages that have tested my patience with him no end. That is another story. Or a few. I guess the one point of pride that I can access from right now is that I am the baby daughter who has always argued with him. He is such an asshole; from when I was maybe 18-19 he used to come over with the MOST BULLSHIT arguments that he KNEW would get my goat, and I would get up in his six-foot-two-ass and fucking argue him down.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I love the SHIT out of that argumentative old fuck! GODDAMN HIS ASS. 

[tyrannosaurus vex]

I love the SHIT out of that argumentative old fuck! GODDAMN HIS ASS. 

Your dad is Roger?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I love the SHIT out of that argumentative old fuck! GODDAMN HIS ASS. 

Your dad is Roger?

BASICALLY.

Which probably explains A LOT.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I don't think so. I think he has simply not quite (and hopefully a "yet" will go in there) fully realized that other people's feelings, and their desires, motivations, and boundaries are equally important to his own. I am guessing/hoping that he is  still quite young, and that his experiences are still limited enough to explain his limited understanding of other people as authentic autonomous beings.

It was probably weird for me when I realized that girls are people. I don't remember exactly because I didn't think in words at the time.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

I love the SHIT out of that argumentative old fuck! GODDAMN HIS ASS. 

Your dad is Roger?

BASICALLY.

Which probably explains A LOT.

He actually does sound pretty awesome.

[Freeky]

For what it's worth, I think bf just sucks at communicating.

And that IS YOUR problem that YOU need to work on, bf.

[Freeky]

I don't really do anything at night. Occasionally I walk around the corner to the store, but there are no street lights until I get to the parking lot. I try to wear dark, shapeless clothing, the better to seem like some lurking psycho killer, and have people avoid me.

When I used to have night classes at the downtown campus (and I am just realizing I will have night classes again), which is in a really seedy and dangerous area of town, I would call someone, because even parking under a light close to the buildings area, the walk freaked me out. I carried a pen or my keys in such a way that if it became necessary I could stab an attacker in the eye.

I don't do bars generally, because I suck at making conversation and I don't like to drink, but when I do I never go very far from who I came with.  Even the meetrack I don't feel particularly comfortable in by myself, and it's essentially a 40'x40' room with a 12'x14' patio. Parking = right out front or come back another day.

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

Oh I forgot something I used to do because I don't have them anymore, and I'd really like to find them again, but fashion is a fickle creature.

I used to wear those chopstick style things to put my hair up, and I only actually need one to keep my hair in place, so the other one was there as a potential weapon, my favourite ones were wicked sharp at the tips, and would often carry one in my hand when walking alone.

OK now I want to hear from the guys about what they do to prevent potential sexual assault and street harassment.

[Bruno]

A few years ago, when I lived in a rough neighborhood, I carried a utility knife with me in case  I needed to cut somebody. It was the closest thing I had to a weapon, and probably still is.

I wasn't specifically worried about sexual assault, though, just people wanting things from me aggressively, testing my boundaries to see what they can get from me, casually mentioning that they're in a gang, telling me "how we do things around here", that kind of thing.

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

A few years ago, when I lived in a rough neighborhood, I carried a utility knife with me in case  I needed to cut somebody. It was the closest thing I had to a weapon, and probably still is.

I wasn't specifically worried about sexual assault, though, just people wanting things from me aggressively, testing my boundaries to see what they can get from me, casually mentioning that they're in a gang, telling me "how we do things around here", that kind of thing.

And that's why I was specific about it being sexual assault and street sexual harassment. It was a thought experiment, basically to show that the women here have myriad ways of trying to prevent sexual assault, because guys don't actually think of that sort of thing. 

[Freeky]

Oh I forgot something I used to do because I don't have them anymore, and I'd really like to find them again, but fashion is a fickle creature.

I used to wear those chopstick style things to put my hair up, and I only actually need one to keep my hair in place, so the other one was there as a potential weapon, my favourite ones were wicked sharp at the tips, and would often carry one in my hand when walking alone.

OK now I want to hear from the guys about what they do to prevent potential sexual assault and street harassment.

I love those chopstick things!  And yeah, those are AWESOME weapons.

[Don Coyote]

OK now I want to hear from the guys about what they do to prevent potential sexual assault and street harassment.

I did a lot of those things when I was younger, and yes I had been catcalled at etc. when I was younger.

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

OK now I want to hear from the guys about what they do to prevent potential sexual assault and street harassment.

I did a lot of those things when I was younger, and yes I had been catcalled at etc. when I was younger.

Ok, that does kind of change the premise of what I was trying to get at.

Can I ask what they were specifically? I only rarely hear about the perspective of a male on the receiving end of sexual harassment or a guy feeling like he has to be hyper vigilant in regard to sexual assault.