Dating and Sex for Bipeds

[Freeky]

Never say the phrase "I'm okay with gay marriage, because I think everyone has the right to be miserable for the rest of their life because of being stuck with someone else," or any variation on that.  Just don't fucking say it.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Nigel said something earlier, and it got me thinking..."Who dates, anymore?"

I hear some of you do, but I've never really bothered.  At least not formally.  I meet people through people, hang out, and wherever it goes is wherever it goes.  I'm most likely to go out and do things with them AFTER we're "a thing".

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Nigel said something earlier, and it got me thinking..."Who dates, anymore?"

I hear some of you do, but I've never really bothered.  At least not formally.  I meet people through people, hang out, and wherever it goes is wherever it goes.  I'm most likely to go out and do things with them AFTER we're "a thing".

To me, other than my stint with the excruciatingly formal Mr. Language, "dating" is something I do with people from online, like OK Cupid or whatever.

I guess the first person in my life I "dated" proper-like was Polar Bear Pants, because I met him one night at a party and he called me a couple days later and asked me out. We went out, and then he sent me roses at work, and we went out a couple more times and had sex and got married and had a baby and it was all very old-fashioned and romantic until what, six-seven years later when it all fell apart.

Anyway, it turns out, statistically speaking in the US, that formal "dating" is increasingly popular, probably due to the rise in popularity and common accepted use of online dating services among younger people.

Myself, I'm going to fall back on the old "got drunk, fucked someone I've known for years" method. That seems to be my most personally reliable method of finding a mate.

[LMNO]

I can also see the appeal with dating when one is older... even though I'm not in the dating pool, I think I've done enough stupid shit to realize that I may want to be extra sure I'm compatible with someone socially before I start churning up huge vats of oxytocin.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I can also see the appeal with dating when one is older... even though I'm not in the dating pool, I think I've done enough stupid shit to realize that I may want to be extra sure I'm compatible with someone socially before I start churning up huge vats of oxytocin.

OH yeah. Especially when you're somebody like me, who grew up with a complete lack of healthy relationships to model mine after and went straight into a dysfunctional marriage without bothering to fuck, let alone date, anyone else first. And then a second dysfunctional marriage, and a couple years later a third, slightly less dysfunctional one. This right now is the longest in my adult life that I have been unmarried, let alone single; Polar Bear Pants moved out four years ago this month. The dating I've done over the last couple of years has been a really good way of strengthening my boundaries and figuring out what I'm looking for in a person I want to spend my life with, vs. my usual "We're fucking, I guess you're my new husband!" MO.

Normal healthy people with normal healthy parents do this kind of exploration in high school and their early 20's, but I was raised in the middle of the woods by a crazy woman and didn't go to high school, so I missed out on all that and have to figure it out in my forties.

[Roly Poly Oly-Garch]

Nigel said something earlier, and it got me thinking..."Who dates, anymore?"

I hear some of you do, but I've never really bothered.  At least not formally.  I meet people through people, hang out, and wherever it goes is wherever it goes.  I'm most likely to go out and do things with them AFTER we're "a thing".

I'm pretty much right there. I've only "dated" a few times. It's kind of always an awkward bag of wretch.

The main advantage that I've seen to the way you describe is that you can actually make *FRIENDS*. I've dated a couple of women that I totally dug person to person but there was absolutely no chemistry. Having met on a date-date, any attempt to hang out with them after that is treated like an attempt to pursue something romantic, instead of just, you know, hanging out with some rad person you get along with.

Which brings me to my one and only addition to this thread: KNOW WHAT YOU WANT BEFORE YOU GO LOOKING FOR IT!

[Juana]

My friends have a sort of unofficial "don't shit where you eat" policy when it comes to dating in our social group. Messy endings result in splintering of the group. :/

[Freeky]

My friends have a sort of unofficial "don't shit where you eat" policy when it comes to dating in our social group. Messy endings result in splintering of the group. :/

This.

[Juana]

Also, if your partner won't let you hang out with friends of the opposite or same sex, as applicable, unaccompanied, run.

If most of your friends and family don't like your new partner, there's a reason and you should think about things.

[Freeky]

Also, if your partner won't let you hang out with friends of the opposite or same sex, as applicable, unaccompanied, run.

THISTHISTHISTHIS. 

If most of your friends and family don't like your new partner, there's a reason and you should think about things.

See above.

[Don Coyote]

Also, if your partner won't let you hang out with friends of the opposite or same sex, as applicable, unaccompanied, run.

If most of your friends and family don't like your new partner, there's a reason and you should think about things.

I fucking hate this about my family. They never told me until after I broke up, that they didn't like whichever chick I was dating at the time. Granted I ofcourse have no sense I would never have listened anyways.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Also, if your partner won't let you hang out with friends of the opposite or same sex, as applicable, unaccompanied, run.

This.

As for telling people, they never listen.  Then they say "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!", and I reply "BECAUSE THE LAST TIME I DID THAT, YOU TOLD ME TO JAM A SOCK IT."

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

My first wife's mother, before we married, took me aside and said "I love you like a son. You really shouldn't marry her. I don't want you to have to deal with it..."

If only I had listened.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

My first wife's mother, before we married, took me aside and said "I love you like a son. You really shouldn't marry her. I don't want you to have to deal with it..."

If only I had listened.

Wow.

If her own mom is warning you off, you know...

On the other hand, it could just has easily been her way of saying "get away from my daughter."

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

My first wife's mother, before we married, took me aside and said "I love you like a son. You really shouldn't marry her. I don't want you to have to deal with it..."

If only I had listened.

Wow.

If her own mom is warning you off, you know...

On the other hand, it could just has easily been her way of saying "get away from my daughter."

She treated Andi with kid gloves all the time, well ever since she got the Daibetus at age 12. I just assumed it was more mommy behavior. Now I know it was serious. When the shit fell apart, I went out and got drunk. Passed out on the park bench drunk. They found my ID, called my Father in law (the presiding overseer of our JW congregation) and he came and got me, and never said a word.... Somehow I had a terrible wife and wonderful in-laws.