ITT - OFFICIAL VOTING FOR NEW MEXICO

[LMNO]

I just wanted to pop in for a moment, while I'm on a quick break.





HANDJOBS.






Thank you for your attention.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Well that should guarantee a win. I said at the start that I was looking to pass the buck and I was annoyingly competitive.

Let the people speak, unless, of course, you fear what this free and open election will bring.

Actually, it sounds a bit like joke envy. Are you worried another may produce a better second part of the joke? Who worries you? Queen G? She should. She's campaigning hard. A hard campaign is LMNO's slogan incidentally.

Why should I fear it?  If elected, I will promptly resign and go back out into the desert, taking the second half of the joke with me.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I actually do want the second part of the joke.

Nope.  Seriously, it now amuses me to never, ever tell the second half of the joke.  I will have it mailed to ECH and Nigel after my death, provided they first swear that they will never tell any other PDer.

Sort of like Sam Shepard, except that I'll actually deliver (or, rather, my executor will).

You realise also, this this will lead to highly toxic infighting and arguments about even the existence of the joke.

Ah.

I suddenly see the grand schemes of this lizard person. Despicable.

Watch me sun myself on a flat rock, not caring.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

The last few days' debacle has proven my point that THERE IS NO JOKE. The first half is a damn dirty lie!

Well, you'll never know now, will you?

Also, I catagorically reject any claims of the second half of the joke being a national treasure.  It is mine, to share or not share as I see fit.

[EK WAFFLR]

Also, Handjobs? Pah. If I win, and I will, Mexico will be in Northern Belgium, and we have fleshlight vending machines on EVERY street corner. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Also, Handjobs? Pah. If I win, and I will, Mexico will be in Northern Belgium, and we have fleshlight vending machines on EVERY street corner. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.

I am The Good Lizard Roger, and I approve of this message.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Also, Handjobs? Pah. If I win, and I will, Mexico will be in Northern Belgium, and we have fleshlight vending machines on EVERY street corner. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.

A vote for Mexico-Belgium is a vote for sex toys everywhere!

[Cainad (dec.)]

As a Right Reverend I must vote with my faith, and my faith tells me that there IS a second half of the joke.

No matter what happens, I will remain resolute in my support for TGRR as Mexico, even if he himself rejects the position.

He claims he will take the punchline to the grave with him. This is because he believes that death is the last place where His People cannot follow him.

Muahahahaha.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

As a Right Reverend I must vote with my faith, and my faith tells me that there IS a second half of the joke.

No matter what happens, I will remain resolute in my support for TGRR as Mexico, even if he himself rejects the position.

He claims he will take the punchline to the grave with him. This is because he believes that death is the last place where His People cannot follow him.

Muahahahaha.

Maybe if we ply him with enough fleshlights he'll give us the second half of the joke.

[Cainad (dec.)]

As a Right Reverend I must vote with my faith, and my faith tells me that there IS a second half of the joke.

No matter what happens, I will remain resolute in my support for TGRR as Mexico, even if he himself rejects the position.

He claims he will take the punchline to the grave with him. This is because he believes that death is the last place where His People cannot follow him.

Muahahahaha.

Maybe if we ply him with enough fleshlights he'll give us the second half of the joke.

Reptilian Holy Men are a finicky breed. If you can't catch them while they're shedding their old scales (and they've learned how to get that done fast), normal means of persuasion are largely ineffective.

For example, reptiles often have dual penises. Unless you can afford that many custom-designed fleshlights, it's going to be very difficult.


Cold-blooded creatures do possess a literally inhuman patience, but they can only move quickly in short bursts. Our simian ancestors adapted bipedal movement so that we could more efficiently traverse long stretches of hot, dry landscape.

"Scientists" would have you believe that this was so we could roam long distances in search of food. We religious figures know that is was so that our ancestors, knowing that their newly-evolved frontal lobes had doomed them to be horribly aware of how stupid they could be, could chase down our Reptilian Holy Men, no matter how long they tried to hide.


Stupid simian sinners seeking saurian saviors.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Waffles! Your constituents wish to know if these fleshlight machines come equipped to serve our hemi-pene blessed brethren or if you are, in fact, specist against lizard people.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Aw, FUCK.  I've spent 10 years ducking out of this messiah shit, because I SAW WHAT HAPPENED TO PAYNE.

Chase me all you like, human filth.  I can run right up the side of a skyscraper.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Aw, FUCK.  I've spent 10 years ducking out of this messiah shit, because I SAW WHAT HAPPENED TO PAYNE.

Chase me all you like, human filth.  I can run right up the side of a skyscraper.

Poor Payne.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Aw, FUCK.  I've spent 10 years ducking out of this messiah shit, because I SAW WHAT HAPPENED TO PAYNE.

Chase me all you like, human filth.  I can run right up the side of a skyscraper.

Poor Payne.

Unlike Payne, I have more spirochetes than a Navy crew on liberty.

And I catch my food with my tongue.

You do the math.

[Cainad (dec.)]

Aw, FUCK.  I've spent 10 years ducking out of this messiah shit, because I SAW WHAT HAPPENED TO PAYNE.

Chase me all you like, human filth.  I can run right up the side of a skyscraper.

Payne knew exactly what he was doing, and did it anyway just to get some cheap yuks. Praise be to the Motherfucking Messiah, Hallowed be thy Name, and deliver us unto Temptation because we gobble that shit up, etc.


Run as far as you can, Good Reverend. We've spent thousands of years, since you were just a leathery, speckled egg, perfecting the art of grinding our saviors into the dust. Like the lions we grew up running away from, when we see Holiness on the run we just can't help ourselves.