PD: The Movie: First Draft completed!

[Placid Dingo]

Last of the ECH sequence (before the arrival at Cram's Mansion)


---
SCENE FIFTEEN
ECH runs up the stairs followed by NIGEL, PAYNE and 000. We can see over the stairs where the RAIDERS have assembled. They give chase. One grabs 000, who punches them and pushes them into the others, delaying them.

ECH: To the roof!

SCENE SIXTEEN
ECH, NIGEL, PAYNE and 000 are running towards a helicopter. ECH starts the helicopter, and bgins to fly before 000 reaches it. The RAIDERS are getting close. 000 jumps and grabs PAYNE'S hand. A RAIDER jumps, grabs 000'S leg, danging over the city. NIGEL grabs a fork and stabs it into the RAIDER'S hand and he plummets.

SCENE SEVENTEEN.
A tourist bus. We see a ridiculously big pillow out the window.

Tour Guide: And out the left you'll see the worlds biggest and softest pillow.

TOURISTS talk and take photos.

Tour guide: They say you could fall over five thousand metres and still survive a fall onto this pillow. (Pause) And to your right...

Camera switches side. The is an equally large bucket.

Tour guide: ...you'll see the world's largest bucket of thumbtacks.

The unfortunate RAIDER lands in the bucket. TOURISTS scream.

[Cuddlefish]

Holy fuck. How come I have not read this thread yet? (possible answer: I am a dick) I haven't read the whole thing yet, but damn. This is fucking awesome. One problem:

NEEDS MOAR DIMO/CUDDLEFISH

I mean, ffs, you put Twid in, and he doesn't even have any hair.

[Triple Zero]

can they be Viking Raiders?

or maybe they can arrive on an Ark, looking somewhat out of place, so they can be Lost Raiders of the Ark?

[Placid Dingo]

I'll try to add you in Dimo, but be aware that everything's getting a bit squishy now.

Also Raiders based punnery is absolutely not out of the question.

[Adios]

Have you named it yet? Spagghetto.

[Placid Dingo]

Have you named it yet? Spagghetto.

No name yet. Why Spaghetto?

EDIT: Spaghetto is a brand of spaghetti, and it's a play on the term spag?

I like it, but it needs to be something understandable to people unfamiliar with the site.


Sequence introducing Cain's character and some of the conspiracy elements.
-----

SCENE EIGHTEEN.

FREEKY and CAIN stand in front of SUU, SQUID, LMNO and RICHTER. MOOKS surround them.

Freeky: Please, take a seat.

All but SUU sit. We see her fingers twitch; she is preparing to launch an attack.

Freeky: Sit down.

There is a tense hesitation.

Dr James: Suu, please.

SUU sits. DR JAMES smiles.

Dr James: Thank you.

CUT TO a shot from under the desk, we see a large blue button above DR JAMES'S knee. He jerks his knee up, hitting the button.

CUT to above the desk. The button fires a pencil up in  the air which detonates a shockwave that goes over the heads of those sitting, knocking over those still standing.

Dr James: Now!

DR JAMES, SUU, RICHTER, LMNO and SQUID run into the next room where they are attacked by MOOKS standing guard. DR JAMES runs to his desk.

Dr James (to Richter): Cover me!

RICHTER guns down MOOKS as DR JAMES rummages through his desk.

CUT TO SQUID unleashing martial arts skill on a gang of MOOKS.

CUT TO LMNO taking out a MOOK with a vicious headbutt.

CUT TO SUU stabbing a MOOK then turning around expecting to see another. Instead, she is confronted with FREEKY. They engage in about ten seconds of rapid swordplay.

CUT TO DR JAMES wrapping a futuristic glove around his hand. He nods at RICHTER; his help is no longer needed, and opens his palm to shoot a jet of green electricity at MOOKS.

The camera explores various fights for about twenty more seconds.

CUT TO CAIN, walking calmly through the chaos. He walks up towards DR JAMES and RICHTER, who are now fighting back to back. DR JAMES is closest to CAIN.

Cain (to Dr James): Shall we discuss icecream?

DR JAMES suddenly grabs RICHTER tightly around the neck, pointing his gun against his temple.

CUT TO SUU finally disarming  FREEKY and pointing her sword at her neck.

Cain: Freeze or he dies!

CUT TO images of SQUID and LMNO surrendering. SUU remains in place, a stubborn expression on her face. MOOKS rush in to point guns at everyone.

Suu: Release him and leave or this one is mine!

Cain: Like I give a shit!

Suu: I'm talking to the Dr.

Cain: Oh. Oh (small laugh). (silly voice) Dr? Doctor? Yoohoo, Doctor? (waves hand in face) I don't think he can hear you sweetie. (patronisingly;) I think he's to hungry to answer. Are you thinking about icecream?

Dr James: (monotone) I like icecream.

Cain: Did you know that he likes icecream?

Dr James: (as before) I like icecream.

Richter: He's been brainwashed!

Cain: My God Richter! Do you mean that that he, and possibly all the rest of you have been secretly implanted with triggers that allow me to manipulate you with words alone, and that resisting me will only result in being forced to slowly murder each other one by one?

Richter: That wasn't what I meant, but I'm guessing it's more accurate.

Suu: Try it motherfucker. I'll remove her head before you even blink.

Cain: (mock horror) Oh no, mild inconvenience! (To Dr James) Would you like to know what my favourite flavour of ice-cream is?

Dr James: What is your favourite flavour of icecream?

Cain: My favourite flavour of icecream is vanilla.

DR JAMES unconsciously grips RICHTER tighter by the neck. He struggles to breathe.

CUT TO SUU looking worried.

CUT TO shots of LMNO and SQUID looking urgently between SUU and RICHTER.

Cain: Would you like to know what my favourite flavour of icecream is?

RICHTER is running out of air. He hits the ground with his fist.

Dr James: What is your favourite flavour of icecream?

Squid: For fuck sake Suu!

Cain: My favourite flavor...

There is a clatter; SUU has dropped the sword.

Cain: (obviously changing the end of his sentence) ...of icecream is strawberry.

DR JAMES releases RICHTER who is now gasping for breath.

Cain: (Addressing mooks) Keep your guns on them. Disarm them of anything that looks like it could be a weapon. If anyone resists, kill them all.

CAIN whispers something to DR JAMES who is pulled out of his zoned state.

Dr James: Woah, what? Aren't we winning?

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Holy fuck. How come I have not read this thread yet? (possible answer: I am a dick) I haven't read the whole thing yet, but damn. This is fucking awesome. One problem:

NEEDS MOAR DIMO/CUDDLEFISH

I mean, ffs, you put Twid in, and he doesn't even have any hair.

Alright, that's fucking it. I'm asking my doctor about propecia.

[Adios]

Have you named it yet? Spagghetto.

No name yet. Why Spaghetto?

Spags of the Ghetto. My brain, he is borked.

[Cramulus]

This just keeps getting better and better!

somebody needs to make this into a WOMP comic book.

The screen splits into four; PAYNE, NIGEL, 000 and PAYNE'S phone. There's three quiet beeps; they've all received the message. On the screen of the phone is an image that is obviously CRAM minus pipe and moustache.

Payne; Nigel; 000: Fuck.

think it'd be funny if they didn't recognize me, and then somebody holds up a fake moustache on the monitor and everybody's like OHHHHHH!

sort of the clark kent / glasses thing

[Placid Dingo]

This just keeps getting better and better!

somebody needs to make this into a WOMP comic book.

The screen splits into four; PAYNE, NIGEL, 000 and PAYNE'S phone. There's three quiet beeps; they've all received the message. On the screen of the phone is an image that is obviously CRAM minus pipe and moustache.

Payne; Nigel; 000: Fuck.

think it'd be funny if they didn't recognize me, and then somebody holds up a fake moustache on the monitor and everybody's like OHHHHHH!

sort of the clark kent / glasses thing

I like the joke but it wouldn't work so well in the sequence; would slow it down.

I kind of visualised the script as a possible blueprint for a comic also.

Still need a name for it. Maybe not spaghetto, but at least we're coming up with something.

Oceans 23 was clever but doesn't link enough to the plot.

Also, hair retention is over-rated (but that could just be me; balding has started  )

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Also, hair retention is over-rated (but that could just be me; balding has started  )

I appreciate the sentiment.

[Freeky]

This whole thing is

And I think it's hilarious that I'm a Villain.

[Placid Dingo]

You've got a few important moment coming up Freeky. And thank you.


--
SCENE NINETEEN.

FREEKY and CAIN are waiting outside DR JAMES'S house.

Freeky: I'm just thrilled that you didn't have to suffer the mind inconvenience of my decapitation.

Cain: Oh settle petal. She was bluffing.

Freeky: She had a sword, she threatened to kill me, and you teased her.

Cain: If you want me to feel bad about it write me a memo and I'll put aside a few minutes to mope around and look anguished. Door please.

FREEKY opens the passenger door for CAIN, giving him a death stare. CAIN enters indifferently. FREEKY slams the door; we suspect she hopes his fingers are still in the way. A MOOK comes to the door.

Mook: We've disarmed them of their weapons.

Cain: Good. Load 'em up.

SUU exists, followed by SQUID, DR JAMES, LMNO and finally RICHTER. RICHTER has been stripped down to a pair of boxer shorts. They, along with the surviving MOOKS climb into the back of the van. FREEKY enters the driver's seat and they drive off.

[Cuddlefish]

I'll try to add you in Dimo, but be aware that everything's getting a bit squishy now.

Also Raiders based punnery is absolutely not out of the question.

You could always use me and other late-comers in a deus ex machina style ending.

[President Television]

Cain is shaping up to be quite the Magnificent Bastard. He's despicable, but he's so good at what he does that you can't help grudgingly respecting him.