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Messages - Cramulus

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Bring and Brag / Re: Quick Question!
« on: June 28, 2018, 03:04:22 pm »
That is super extremely nice Goddess Eris & Doktor Howl! VERY MUCH appreciated  :fnord: :fnord: :fnord:

WOW!!! that's fantastic!!

everything about it, from the fractal clouds, the flaming lion, the shiva-like skin... really dense


Apple Talk / Re: The Spiritual Crossroads.
« on: June 28, 2018, 02:34:59 pm »
omfghhhhhhhahahaha I had totally forgotten about Snakeman. I remember getting into it with him at TCC over his racist posts. I kept blasting him with data that showed his racist opinions were flat out wrong, and he just dug in deeper.

Man, here in 2018, TCCs "tolerance" for that kind of shit tastes really bad.

btw, there is one snapshot of the spiritual crossroads on the wayback machine... without any of the images or styling, it's a little hard to read, but here it is:

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Re: Reality Safari: Gurdjieff
« on: June 28, 2018, 02:19:49 pm »
The Inner Circle

Here's how I'd describe it today...

Inside of you, there's this sphere. It is the control panel to the human machine.

The different parts of you (thoughts, emotions, daydreams, ideals, vices, physical hunger etc etc) attempt to reach into that sphere to control it. This is a zero-sum game, these parts are in competition. If one part gets control, then it feels like you are that part -- until another part gets control. You cou(ld call these parts "selves".

((as an aside -- this is closer to how the Romans and Greeks thought of the Gods. When you are angry, "anger is with you". Like, there is a god of anger, and he rules you in that moment -- when you act in anger, the god of anger is acting through you. Who you are is inseparable from Mars, Jupiter, Venus, Mercury, etc.. we are all Mount Olympus))

The sphere (for the old timers on this forum, maybe think of it as the "golden sphere of possibility"  :lol:) is only partially visible to us. When we view it, we're usually viewing it from above; the bottom half of it is occluded. That's the subconcious.

Sometimes hunger dominates the sphere, but I don't see that because there are other selves on top of it. The conversation I'm having with my girlfriend blocks me from seeing the hunger. But because the hunger is the chief of the sphere in this moment, it acts through the other selves. I get cranky or short, dismissive, and I think I'm being rational. But really, I'm just hungry. The hungry self is trying to get what it wants, and this conversation is in the way of that. I'm not even consciously aware that I'm hungry.

When you are really present, you can see the sphere. Resisting a habit is like lighting a match, a flicker of light reveals a network, a branching fractal like tree roots.

With some work and discipline, you can see the bottom half of the sphere.

This awareness is also a self, it is also reaching into the sphere to control it. But it's weak, equally weighted against the other selves. We have to champion it, we have to teach ourselves to be present, we have to crown that self and make it strong.

The Sixth Circuit - the metaprogramming circuit

In the show Westworld, sometimes there's a moment where the robots get to look at their own settings. All the different parts of their personality - aggression, compassion, lust, etc -- are sliders that are set by the writers. When the robot is handed the tablet with the control panel, they can see these things about themsleves - and have the freedom to set the sliders themselves.

But can they really adjust those sliders "freely"? The position of the sliders dictates what they want, how they think they should be.So what changes could they possibly make? If the aggression slider is high, why would you want to turn it down if that's what it seems like you are? does the aggressive part of you want to be less aggressive? no.

The goal for us humans is to see the positions of the sliders. By doing this, we create a perspective that is outside of them. We are able to see how we have been acting and make objective decisions about it. That's the self that has freedom, the one that sees the programming and can make a decision about it from outside of it.

In the Gurdjieff work, that's the ideal - to be. To develop the self that isn't just programming code, the writer who can edit the program.

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Re: Reality Safari: Gurdjieff
« on: June 28, 2018, 01:29:12 pm »
We had a break all month, and then we won't meet again until mid September.

The exercise they've been having us do is a variation on the one I described where you move your awareness systematically through your body, and then spread it out to encompass your whole body. This time around, they asked us to do three cycles. In each cycle- get the physical input coming from each limb, then the whole body, and then ask yourself

What do I REALLY value?

This exercise has been very challenging for me. Mainly because that question shakes me up.  As you're doing the meditation, you're not just experiencing the sensations from each body part, you're also trying to become aware of the myriad ways you get distracted, the subconscious forces pulling your thoughts. It's said that we're knitting together the conscious and unconscious parts.

And so, for me, early in the exercise, the answer to that VALUES question was mainly ideals. I value high minded humanistic things.

Late in the exercise, as I'm expanding my awareness of this "inner circle" from whence my actions originate - the high minded humanistic things fall apart. What do I REALLY value? Well fuck, look at what I do. My inner circle is dominated by pleasure and aversion. "Beavis and butthead like things that are cool and hate things that suck."

There is a discordance between the high-minded ideals I tell myself that I value and day to day operations of my actual control center. And that means that my "values" are just a story, really. As I join my awareness with the rim of the inner circle, I can see that behind that "pleasure and aversion" there is another layer... the force behind "approach and avoid" is just wanting to settle into the most comfortable position. This inner laziness is at odds with every high-minded ideal I have.

Ugh, it's painful to even think about... the futility of idealism and the enormity of the work. It really reflected myself back at me and I became disgusted. I know that this is part of the work - that ego death is not a "fun" experience. I know that I need to lean into that discomfort and exist there, because that's where the possibility exists -- to develop something solid.

But I decided to lean away harder, and explore the "Holy Denying" principle. (Also called Antithesis)

I'm at a crossroads right now. This Autumn, my Gurdjieff "preperatory group" will graduate into being a "foundation group", and that means paying dues and potentially going to a lot more of these meetings. And learning the Sacred Movements. But it also means filling my "inner circle" with more Gurdjieff, letting that old huckster deeper into myself. And I want to take a minute to pause on this and really think about it.

I joke all the time about how I'm in a cult. And I've really tried to stay eyes-open about this, aware of the subtle pressures that exist in the group and how they draw you in. I have not seen any of the red flags of a predatory cult. But still, they're asking for money now, and this is a real 'moment of truth'. Not just because of the money, but because paying money for something causes you to value it more. I may be exactly the type of person who is really vulnerable to their approach. So is this a good idea? You can be straight with me here, fam. Let me have it.

I did a deep dive to explore the writings of people who rejected Gurdjieff. I read a lot of cult recovery forums. There is no doubt in my mind that some of the people who drank from the fountain have capitalized on it and become spiritual predators. I just watched this documentary Wild Wild Country, which is about the Osho cult in Oregon... I could honestly see myself becoming one of those poor sannyasins that became soldiers in the army of a cult of personality.

I could feel myself obsessing. I have been reading a lot of Gurdjieff, thinking about his work a lot, it is such a big part of my mental landscape -- to the point that it started to become uncomfortable. It reminds me of this young version of myself that first discovered the Tao Te Ching or the Principia Discordia, and then couldn't keep my fuckin mouth shut about it, I was always trying to jam it into conversations and signal my knowledge about it... what a wanker

Thank the Goddess for my Discordian grounding. Eris always whispers to me "....others say he is a shithead". There is so much power and freedom in that statement.

And honestly, asking myself about my values three times a day... was so uncomfortable. Unsettling.

So I took a few weeks to NOT think about Gurdjieff at all. Walk away from it, let it sit.

And yesterday... I got overwhelmed with the news, and I realized I needed it again - I'm getting blown around like a leaf in the wind, and when I'm at rest, I am just trying to settle into the most comfortable position. I'm trying to do the Exercises again and I'm rusty, distracted, challenged.

I feel "between two stools" right now

there's a saying in the work

blessed is he that has a soul
blessed is he that has none
but woe and grief to he who has it in embryo

Or Kill Me / Re: Lock her up
« on: June 26, 2018, 03:56:38 pm »
Watching Sanders and Miller and Nielsen getting blasted by the public has been CATHARTIC

I have this grim feeling about it though, that we're looking at the future. I can't help but visualize crowds following around Elizabeth Warren doing the Tomahawk Chop.

Apple Talk / Re: Forum History via Photobucket
« on: June 26, 2018, 03:33:02 pm »
I pronounce it "High-Moobs"

Apple Talk / Forum History via Photobucket
« on: June 26, 2018, 03:20:34 pm »
In this thread, take a scroll through, grab a random photo, and tell us its role in this forum's storied history. This will help newcomers understand our intricate forum culture and prepare for the welcome they will receive after their 50th post.

I'll get us rolling:

The Bitch Slap cards were distributed in 2009 as a part of the ill fated "OP is a spag" initiative. The cards went like hotcakes, because people believed they would be entitled to slap someone else. In truth, the card gives people permission to slap its holder. I left my house on Monday, April 29th, and was slapped in the face nine times, by strangers, who read this forum for some reason.

This image was part of the HIMEOBS propaganda initiative. HIMEOBS was a cabal within the forum around 2006-2008, it is an acronym that stands for the Heralds of Important Men's Explanations Of Bull Shit. HIMEOBS was like the forums welcome-committee, it greeted new Filthy Forumites and answered their questions earnestly. They would sometimes mail newbies a gift of fresh fruit or hand picked flowers. The above caption represents a time that Ten Ton Mantis was bitten by a handsnake, and then we adopted it as the forum mascot and it fed candy it until it developed diabetes and violently exploded.

The inventor of Clippy was a member of this forum briefly in 2008. IIRC he was depressed because Clippy was not liked by the public, and frequently threatened to go "Ann Hero" (an old in-joke representing the heroic and noble sacrifices of a martyr named Ann). He shared this screenshot with the forum to ask us for advice. He was subsequently banned.

Apple Talk / Re: WOMP CABAL 2007: The Year in Review
« on: June 26, 2018, 03:06:50 pm »
You are an amazing human and I hereby nominate you as this year's Forum Admin of Light and Grace.

Apple Talk / Re: Introductions, Part VI: Welcome to Our PD Party
« on: June 25, 2018, 08:35:41 pm »
Hey there, welcome, try not to get any blood on the servers

Apple Talk / Re: Meyers-Briggs Personality Type
« on: June 25, 2018, 05:29:40 pm »
Huh, my results have actually wavered in the last few years, which is interesting.

Like 2 years ago, I took the test and got INTP
and a year before that, the same, INTP

I thought that was what I always was... but then I checked my posts in this thread, and saw I used to regularly get marked as ENTP.
Took the test again this morning.. got another ENTP.

I think it's interesting because I can intuitively sense that my social habits have changed since college, but I'm not entirely sure how. I used to be a lot more extroverted and have sort of slid into a more introverted, isolated lifestyle. But on this mornings' test, I scored pretty close to the cross-over between E and I.

Just want to mention - I don't think the Meyers Briggs is an inherently useful tool. But taking the same test periodically can be a helpful way to analyze the ways you change over time.

A correlary would be like -- the number of times you can skip rope. It's not a good be-all-end-all measurement for physical fitness. But if you took a rope-skipping test every year, you'd see trends emerge over time, and there may be an interesting story there.

for later:

Extroverted (E) 54.29% Introverted (I) 45.71%
Intuitive (N) 63.41% Sensing (S) 36.59%
Thinking (T) 63.64% Feeling (F) 36.36%
Perceiving (P) 72.73% Judging (J) 27.27%

Apple Talk / Re: WOMP CABAL 2007: The Year in Review
« on: June 25, 2018, 03:31:35 pm »
that's the best news I've heard all week

it's monday so there's not a lot of competition, but you gotta take what you can get in this dog-eat-man world.

Apple Talk / Re: WOMP CABAL 2007: The Year in Review
« on: June 24, 2018, 08:17:49 pm »
huh, these posts are from my personal photobucket account and DO still seem to be live. Later on, I'd make a wompcabal photobucket account, and all of those images seem to be gone.


I'm seeing wompcabal posts in other threads where the images actually work... !

check out Spagbook -- it looks like all the images are there again??!

Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: June 20, 2018, 02:24:07 pm »
From the This Is The Sort Of Shit We Have To Put Up With Department:

My eyesight must be failing; I read that as "trump-humps-flag-at-end-of-speech", something I would surely pay good money to see

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Re: Recent Jailbreaks
« on: June 20, 2018, 01:19:40 pm »
For the first time in my life really I am having to work hard and consistently.

It's mostly mental work rather than physical but occasionally I get the chance to feel myself up out and feel the pull of my old procrastinating ways.
I think that moving to a completely different culture and environment has helped though as I don't have a lot of my old habits available to fall back on. New habits form in their place.

Procrastination is a bar, cemented in place at the top by pleasure and at the bottom by aversion.

New habits will form, that's natural -- "The idea is to remain in a state of constant departure while always arriving. It saves on introductions and goodbyes." (Waking Life)

Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: June 19, 2018, 07:13:00 pm »

Nice choice of words, there.

yeah, a few weeks ago when he called MS-13 'animals', there was this huge kerfluffle where leftists were saying
A) Dehumanizing language is the fast track to camps
B) it's "bad looks" to defend MS-13, so shut up, you're playing into Trump's plan   :fap:

and the Trump statement was to double down about how these people ARE animals

and now, flash forward to the present, he's using more of this 'vermin' language to describe people, but this time, not MS-13....

this country is so depressing

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