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2
The next time you get the urge to do something like that, may I suggest you instead just squeeze your testicles until you remember that you are unlovable and deserve nothing.

It's the same thing, only without people lining up to shit on you.


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I have always said that this is the best place on the internet to get advice.
4
Yup. At this point, the issue has been vastly over-complicated to the point of exerting more energy than necessary to discuss.

It's been made clear that I made no indication in any way shape or form that I would terminate the relationship in any scenario. She was the one who made the implication that that was a possibility given the scenario I provided, which was simply that I would have to start my career over.

It's also been made very clear that she understands all of the arguments that I've made in this thread, and knows all of my thoughts on the matter.

At this point, her and I are over the situation and have made our decisions. I'm going to start back at square one, as long as she is ok with me taking the first few months of living there to dedicate every second of my time to improving my work position. With this decision, the contemplation of LTC 1 and 2 are realistic again.

What made me fight the contemplation of the LTC 1 and 2 was her immediate assumption and acceptance of the relationship ending in the scenario I gave to her.
Fact: When something is priority number 1, it is not given up over something else.
Fact: I will not consider LTC 1 and 2 with someone if those things are not Priority 1. No hard feelings. I've seen the result of such considerations many times before. It doesn't end well for anyone.

Also, because the initial question did not include, "do you think it's appropriate to terminate the relationship if she moves away?", I did not include it in my answers.  My answer would be a tentative "No", if such an question were posed, due to analysis 1, 2, and 5.

This is irrelevant in this case, but that question depends entirely on the relationship. If neither people are capable of long-term relationships, or want one, then it wouldn't be inappropriate to end the relationship on that assumption. Analyses 1, 2, and 5 are completely subjective and/or situational.

Analysis 4 is false by the fact that I made it very clear what my stance was on the possibility of a long-distance relationship (Avidly against).

And she feels the same way (This was not stated, but I am stating it now.)


Now that we're done inventing bullshit to fight me on, let's move on with our lives, shall we?
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Remember kids if you od while in the army it counts as an admission of drug problem and you can't be punished. Just have to go to rehab and asap

It counts as lack of motivation.
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The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Am I Being Selfish?
« Last post by LMNO on Yesterday at 05:56:22 pm »
Agreed.  I made a go-ahead assumption that because FP did not want GF to talk about LTC1 or 2 and since we do not have her input/perspective, he had not yet communicated to her how he would be have if she accepted JO.

Also, because the initial question did not include, "do you think it's appropriate to terminate the relationship if she moves away?", I did not include it in my answers.  My answer would be a tentative "No", if such an question were posed, due to analysis 1, 2, and 5.
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One thing that is not clear from the scenario as it has been described to this point is whether the GF is aware of FP's intention to terminate the relationship if she accepts the JO. Clearly, moving conflicts with his career plans, and he is choosing to prioritize his career over making the move to be with her. Does she know this? Or does she continue to talk about the possibility of long-term commitment because she is unclear on this?
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The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Am I Being Selfish?
« Last post by LMNO on Yesterday at 02:47:19 pm »
Is it selfish to want your significant other to avoid talking about marriage or kids if they are willing to give up that possibility for a long-distance, permanent job offer?

Because I don't have a problem with my girlfriend taking the job offer if it possibly means us not being together. I couldn't live with myself if I found out that I kept her from a successful job offer she considered. But is it selfish to want her to NOT bring up the idea of permanent commitments if she is willing to take that job at all costs? Could you marry or have kids with someone who would be willing to give that up for a job offer that ends your relationship? Am I just being an asshole?

I'm taking this back to the OP, because I feel like it can be broken down into fundamental components and questions.

Premises:
1. Girlfriend (GF) has a potential long distance job offer (JO).
2. Fernando Poo (FP) is employed locally.
3. GF wants to talk about marriage (Long Term Commitment 1 (LTC1)).
4. GF wants to talk about kids (Long Term Commitment 2 (LTC2)).

Assumptions (made by FP):
1. FP wants GF to take the JO if offered.
2. If GF takes the JO, the relationship will be over.

Questions posed:
1. Is it selfish to want GF not to talk about LTC1 or LTC2 if accepting JO precludes either?
2. Could the audience accept a similar scenario themselves?
3. Does FP asking Question 1 make him an asshole?

Analysis:
1. LTC1 and LTC2 are vastly different types of commitment.
2. JO does not automatically imply LTC1 and LTC2 are impossible.  Anecdotal evidence and relationship statistics show, I believe, that long-distance relationships are or can be stabilized by LTC1, if not LTC2.
3. Basic relationship guidelines generally say that a healthy relationship is made with more, not less, communication.
4. FP seems to have an unspoken belief that he is unwilling to enter into a long-distance relationship, based on Assumption 2.
5. GF appears to be weighing her decision in part on whether LTC1 or LTC2 will be possible if she takes JO.

Conclusions/Answers:
1. FP is being selfish for not wanting GF to talk about LTC1 or LTC2 if she takes JO.
         --Based on Assumption 1 and Analysis 3 and 5, FP is creating a scenario where a decision cannot be reached, extending the relationship status quo, however unhappily for GF.
2. Personally, this audience member rejects Assumption 2, therefore the question is invalid.
3. FP may not be an asshole, if Conclusion 1 was not understood initially.  If Conclusion 1 is understood, then yes.
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So is selling an election to the highest bidder. Democracy is a communist idea.
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