• Anonymous

    Rant 38: Serious Discordians? (The Jihad is On!)

    : The Good Reverend Roger


    Now, shouldn't you be posting some mushy bullshit that nobody wants to read?


     And from that, he deluded honest men to believe that reality was a straightjacket affair and not the happy romance as men had known it.

    For the umteenth time we get it.

    Yeah yeah, Tao here, just a guest, not one of the gang anymore.

    You and others criticize other's hapiness and fun. You're a Greyface deluding a bunch of Dungeon's and Dragons players that it's Discordian to not be Discordian, or that Discordianism is whatever you want it to be, even it's opposite.

    Is it really that satisfying?

    For any who can think for themselves and don't just blinding follow the pack, Bella and obviously REv are Subgenius which is nearly the opposite of Discordianism.

    Did you get rejected from the Subgeunius forums?

    If not, you're not going to contradict yourself over here.

    http://www.subgenius.com/websites2.htm

    __________________________________________

    My dahling, they can't have a social life if they're affraid of other people in real life. That's why they need role play and fantasy because they're paralyzed in real life. They can come here though and be whatever they want just by saying so, instead of by earning it through actual life situations.

    Ain't that right Bella?

    I feel for people who are weak or have problems, but if they take the high ground and start throwing stones, I lose all pity.

    "The unfortunate result of this is that mankind has since been suffering from a psychological and spiritual imbalance. Imbalance causes frustration, and frustration causes fear. And fear makes for a bad trip."

    Yet you embrace your own fears and criticize those that are fearless?

    Not going to be a very good president if you're affraid of meeting people eh? Nor will you be able to shoot me if you're affraid to meet me in public.

    Hugh!!!!

    Anybody ever tell you how cute you are when you're angry? :wink:

    Psychiatrist?

    Get back to me with that hot young ass of yours after you look up the term projection.

    Or are you merely stealing my act?

    Not really thinking for yourself you georgeous little thing.

    ___________________________________________________


    Funny with the mush thing, we would have stopped after the first post, yet you all acted like a bunch of ole grannies at two people breaking social norms, so we laid it on thick just to get on your nerves.

    But we just noticed this morning that about 90% of the forum doesn't have a significant other.

    Sorry you all can't find relationships. I moved around a lot and went 3 years or so at a time without a relationship, but if you're gonna take it out on us for your timidity, go ahead, but you'll never change your problems for dumping it on others, rather by showing some backbone and getting out of your house.

    2004-07-09 04:10:13 LINK: Rant 38: Serious Discordians? (The Jihad is On!), boardID=9

  • chaosgraves:agentoferis

    Rant 38: Serious Discordians? (The Jihad is On!)

    : Anonymous
    : The Good Reverend Roger


    Now, shouldn't you be posting some mushy bullshit that nobody wants to read?


     And from that, he deluded honest men to believe that reality was a straightjacket affair and not the happy romance as men had known it.

    For the umteenth time we get it.

    Yeah yeah, Tao here, just a guest, not one of the gang anymore.

    You and others criticize other's hapiness and fun. You're a Greyface deluding a bunch of Dungeon's and Dragons players that it's Discordian to not be Discordian, or that Discordianism is whatever you want it to be, even it's opposite.

    Is it really that satisfying?

    For any who can think for themselves and don't just blinding follow the pack, Bella and obviously REv are Subgenius which is nearly the opposite of Discordianism.

    Did you get rejected from the Subgeunius forums?

    If not, you're not going to contradict yourself over here.

    http://www.subgenius.com/websites2.htm

    __________________________________________

    My dahling, they can't have a social life if they're affraid of other people in real life. That's why they need role play and fantasy because they're paralyzed in real life. They can come here though and be whatever they want just by saying so, instead of by earning it through actual life situations.

    Ain't that right Bella?

    I feel for people who are weak or have problems, but if they take the high ground and start throwing stones, I lose all pity.

    "The unfortunate result of this is that mankind has since been suffering from a psychological and spiritual imbalance. Imbalance causes frustration, and frustration causes fear. And fear makes for a bad trip."

    Yet you embrace your own fears and criticize those that are fearless?

    Not going to be a very good president if you're affraid of meeting people eh? Nor will you be able to shoot me if you're affraid to meet me in public.

    Hugh!!!!

    Anybody ever tell you how cute you are when you're angry? :wink:

    Psychiatrist?

    Get back to me with that hot young ass of yours after you look up the term projection.

    Or are you merely stealing my act?

    Not really thinking for yourself you georgeous little thing.

    ___________________________________________________


    Funny with the mush thing, we would have stopped after the first post, yet you all acted like a bunch of ole grannies at two people breaking social norms, so we laid it on thick just to get on your nerves.

    But we just noticed this morning that about 90% of the forum doesn't have a significant other.

    Sorry you all can't find relationships. I moved around a lot and went 3 years or so at a time without a relationship, but if you're gonna take it out on us for your timidity, go ahead, but you'll never change your problems for dumping it on others, rather by showing some backbone and getting out of your house.
    tao... gonna miss you man ... come back and let me know when you and your wife have started your site up I would love to participate in you jakes and mindfucks( be warned though as a discordian I may disagree with you sometimes... but that doesn't mean I wont enjoy your company)

    2004-07-09 10:31:31 LINK: Rant 38: Serious Discordians? (The Jihad is On!), boardID=9

  • Z¬?

    Rant 38: Serious Discordians? (The Jihad is On!)

    : Anonymous
    : The Good Reverend Roger


    Now, shouldn't you be posting some mushy bullshit that nobody wants to read?


     And from that, he deluded honest men to believe that reality was a straightjacket affair and not the happy romance as men had known it.

    For the umteenth time we get it.

    Yeah yeah, Tao here, just a guest, not one of the gang anymore.

    You and others criticize other's hapiness and fun. You're a Greyface deluding a bunch of Dungeon's and Dragons players that it's Discordian to not be Discordian, or that Discordianism is whatever you want it to be, even it's opposite.

    Is it really that satisfying?

    For any who can think for themselves and don't just blinding follow the pack, Bella and obviously REv are Subgenius which is nearly the opposite of Discordianism.

    Did you get rejected from the Subgeunius forums?

    If not, you're not going to contradict yourself over here.

    http://www.subgenius.com/websites2.htm

    __________________________________________

    My dahling, they can't have a social life if they're affraid of other people in real life. That's why they need role play and fantasy because they're paralyzed in real life. They can come here though and be whatever they want just by saying so, instead of by earning it through actual life situations.

    Ain't that right Bella?

    I feel for people who are weak or have problems, but if they take the high ground and start throwing stones, I lose all pity.

    "The unfortunate result of this is that mankind has since been suffering from a psychological and spiritual imbalance. Imbalance causes frustration, and frustration causes fear. And fear makes for a bad trip."

    Yet you embrace your own fears and criticize those that are fearless?

    Not going to be a very good president if you're affraid of meeting people eh? Nor will you be able to shoot me if you're affraid to meet me in public.

    Hugh!!!!

    Anybody ever tell you how cute you are when you're angry? :wink:

    Psychiatrist?

    Get back to me with that hot young ass of yours after you look up the term projection.

    Or are you merely stealing my act?

    Not really thinking for yourself you georgeous little thing.

    ___________________________________________________


    Funny with the mush thing, we would have stopped after the first post, yet you all acted like a bunch of ole grannies at two people breaking social norms, so we laid it on thick just to get on your nerves.

    But we just noticed this morning that about 90% of the forum doesn't have a significant other.

    Sorry you all can't find relationships. I moved around a lot and went 3 years or so at a time without a relationship, but if you're gonna take it out on us for your timidity, go ahead, but you'll never change your problems for dumping it on others, rather by showing some backbone and getting out of your house.




    No Wife, No Horse, No Moustache.

    2004-07-10 08:22:14 LINK: Rant 38: Serious Discordians? (The Jihad is On!), boardID=9

  • Demonica, Oracle of Doom

    Rant 38: Serious Discordians? (The Jihad is On!)

    : Anonymous
    : The Good Reverend Roger


    Now, shouldn't you be posting some mushy bullshit that nobody wants to read?


     And from that, he deluded honest men to believe that reality was a straightjacket affair and not the happy romance as men had known it.

    For the umteenth time we get it.

    Yeah yeah, Tao here, just a guest, not one of the gang anymore.

    You and others criticize other's hapiness and fun. You're a Greyface deluding a bunch of Dungeon's and Dragons players that it's Discordian to not be Discordian, or that Discordianism is whatever you want it to be, even it's opposite.

    Is it really that satisfying?

    For any who can think for themselves and don't just blinding follow the pack, Bella and obviously REv are Subgenius which is nearly the opposite of Discordianism.

    Did you get rejected from the Subgeunius forums?

    If not, you're not going to contradict yourself over here.

    http://www.subgenius.com/websites2.htm

    __________________________________________

    My dahling, they can't have a social life if they're affraid of other people in real life. That's why they need role play and fantasy because they're paralyzed in real life. They can come here though and be whatever they want just by saying so, instead of by earning it through actual life situations.

    Ain't that right Bella?

    I feel for people who are weak or have problems, but if they take the high ground and start throwing stones, I lose all pity.

    "The unfortunate result of this is that mankind has since been suffering from a psychological and spiritual imbalance. Imbalance causes frustration, and frustration causes fear. And fear makes for a bad trip."

    Yet you embrace your own fears and criticize those that are fearless?

    Not going to be a very good president if you're affraid of meeting people eh? Nor will you be able to shoot me if you're affraid to meet me in public.

    Hugh!!!!

    Anybody ever tell you how cute you are when you're angry? :wink:

    Psychiatrist?

    Get back to me with that hot young ass of yours after you look up the term projection.

    Or are you merely stealing my act?

    Not really thinking for yourself you georgeous little thing.

    ___________________________________________________


    Funny with the mush thing, we would have stopped after the first post, yet you all acted like a bunch of ole grannies at two people breaking social norms, so we laid it on thick just to get on your nerves.

    But we just noticed this morning that about 90% of the forum doesn't have a significant other.

    Sorry you all can't find relationships. I moved around a lot and went 3 years or so at a time without a relationship, but if you're gonna take it out on us for your timidity, go ahead, but you'll never change your problems for dumping it on others, rather by showing some backbone and getting out of your house.



    Now this makes me mad!  You don't even know Bella.  She lives life!
    I doubt if you could be called into the hospital to counsel a rape victim covered
    in her boyfriends blood because no other counselor in the area could
    handle it.  She actually stayed with the girl for two hours while they ran forensic tests
    on her.  

    Shame on you EVT!!!  I thought you had more balls than to attack people you
    don't know anything about.

    Bella has a significant other so you don't even know what you are talking about.  She just doesn't parade her private life on the board.

    I consider it a sign of weakness to depend on a significant other for my identity.  Maybe 90% of the board don't feel so insecure that
    they are incomplete unless they are
    living their life through and for another person and needing an audience
    to make sure that they are noticed.  I have better things to do than to mentally breed in public!  
    Hell I have better things to do than electronically Fuck for people
    who don't give a damn about listening to it.

    I have better things to do than take orders from  narcissistic voyeurists  who call themselves
    princes and princesses.

    If you can't take the heat...................get out of the kitchen, but quit projecting
    your weaknesses onto other people.............Fuckers!

    2004-07-10 12:37:34 LINK: Rant 38: Serious Discordians? (The Jihad is On!), boardID=9

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Rant 38: Serious Discordians? (The Jihad is On!)

    : Duchess Demonica
    : Anonymous
    : The Good Reverend Roger


    Now, shouldn't you be posting some mushy bullshit that nobody wants to read?


     And from that, he deluded honest men to believe that reality was a straightjacket affair and not the happy romance as men had known it.

    For the umteenth time we get it.

    Yeah yeah, Tao here, just a guest, not one of the gang anymore.

    You and others criticize other's hapiness and fun. You're a Greyface deluding a bunch of Dungeon's and Dragons players that it's Discordian to not be Discordian, or that Discordianism is whatever you want it to be, even it's opposite.

    Is it really that satisfying?

    For any who can think for themselves and don't just blinding follow the pack, Bella and obviously REv are Subgenius which is nearly the opposite of Discordianism.

    Did you get rejected from the Subgeunius forums?

    If not, you're not going to contradict yourself over here.

    http://www.subgenius.com/websites2.htm

    __________________________________________

    My dahling, they can't have a social life if they're affraid of other people in real life. That's why they need role play and fantasy because they're paralyzed in real life. They can come here though and be whatever they want just by saying so, instead of by earning it through actual life situations.

    Ain't that right Bella?

    I feel for people who are weak or have problems, but if they take the high ground and start throwing stones, I lose all pity.

    "The unfortunate result of this is that mankind has since been suffering from a psychological and spiritual imbalance. Imbalance causes frustration, and frustration causes fear. And fear makes for a bad trip."

    Yet you embrace your own fears and criticize those that are fearless?

    Not going to be a very good president if you're affraid of meeting people eh? Nor will you be able to shoot me if you're affraid to meet me in public.

    Hugh!!!!

    Anybody ever tell you how cute you are when you're angry? :wink:

    Psychiatrist?

    Get back to me with that hot young ass of yours after you look up the term projection.

    Or are you merely stealing my act?

    Not really thinking for yourself you georgeous little thing.

    ___________________________________________________


    Funny with the mush thing, we would have stopped after the first post, yet you all acted like a bunch of ole grannies at two people breaking social norms, so we laid it on thick just to get on your nerves.

    But we just noticed this morning that about 90% of the forum doesn't have a significant other.

    Sorry you all can't find relationships. I moved around a lot and went 3 years or so at a time without a relationship, but if you're gonna take it out on us for your timidity, go ahead, but you'll never change your problems for dumping it on others, rather by showing some backbone and getting out of your house.



    Now this makes me mad!  You don't even know Bella.  She lives life!
    I doubt if you could be called into the hospital to counsel a rape victim covered
    in her boyfriends blood because no other counselor in the area could
    handle it.  She actually stayed with the girl for two hours while they ran forensic tests
    on her.  

    Shame on you EVT!!!  I thought you had more balls than to attack people you
    don't know anything about.

    Bella has a significant other so you don't even know what you are talking about.  She just doesn't parade her private life on the board.

    I consider it a sign of weakness to depend on a significant other for my identity.  Maybe 90% of the board don't feel so insecure that
    they are incomplete unless they are
    living their life through and for another person and needing an audience
    to make sure that they are noticed.  I have better things to do than to mentally breed in public!  
    Hell I have better things to do than electronically Fuck for people
    who don't give a damn about listening to it.

    I have better things to do than take orders from  narcissistic voyeurists  who call themselves
    princes and princesses.

    If you can't take the heat...................get out of the kitchen, but quit projecting
    your weaknesses onto other people.............Fuckers!


    Memo to The Duchess:

    Please do not feed the trolls.  

    Signed,
    The Good Reverend Roger

    2004-07-10 23:03:27 LINK: Rant 38: Serious Discordians? (The Jihad is On!), boardID=9

  • Irreverend Hugh, KSC

    Rant 71: Un Stuck (and other occult secrets)

    Rant 71
    The Non-Stick


    "A religion without a goddess is halfway to atheism."
    -an Asatruar statement

    "There is nothing that closes our minds to new information and new insights more than the feeling that we already understand."
    -Richard P. Hayes

    "People talk about the 'real world,' but the real world that they talk about is not real; it is only conventional appearance. It's the way it seems to be, according to the way one has been conditioned to perceive it."
    -Ajahn Sumedho

    "…war, the channel of all injustice."
    -Cyrano de Bergerac

    "A magician state differs from a police state only in the methods of control. Instead of control being maintained through enforcement of laws, control is maintained by enforcement of desires."
    -Tequilarius ‘Caracalla’ Malignatus

    We are the non-stick Discordians, as opposed to those sticky and serious Real™ Discordians. You can’t catch us because we a sordid, shifty, chaotic, pranking and slick lot. We are slick with the wisdom of slack in a world that insists on anti-slack; a foul and pernicious trap of manageable neuroses and vapid theses called the Real World™ , a place of unremitting hard-work and obedience that tries to slice apart aspects of yourselves and finance them back to you at high interest rates. We too were there during the great Burning Times when the Church went after the Pagans, the Jews, and other unorthodox heretical types. But we didn’t get burned because we lied, cheated, pranked, and connived our way through those times. Chameleons wish they could change and contradict themselves as much as we do as a matter of course. As a matter of fact, chameleons probably got their camouflage ideas from us. We are the wink wink wink of Eris as we yet again take your mind to the cleaners with our effervescent and all too neatly prepackaged systems of enlightenment or self-actualization (or whatever gobble gobble gobble those who imagine themselves as ‘spiritual’ go by these days). We do this perhaps to get you to wake up, or perhaps, it just amuses us. Because like the rest of you, we are probably as clueless. Unlike some of the rest of you we admit this and laugh ourselves to pieces at our own pointless stupidities. If society is everywhere in conspiracy against intelligence, then we are everywhere in conspiracy against such statements. Our intellectual and spiritual diddling knows no bounds and there are no lengths we won’t go through to exhaust ourselves in spurious mental masturbation. We are the sick twisted bastard children of Eris and we are here to laugh. What are you here for? Here we are now. Entertain us….either way, we will be entertained and amused. And if Eris smiles, so much the better…but perhaps we like it when She smites while doing so.

    We pour the tequila of our rabid words and perverse rites, infected with large doses of the viral meme of nefarious and silly occult plots, down the throats of your television-delivered official versions of free thought. Go ahead and run, you’ll only crack apart tired. Have you mindfucked your neighbor today? Satisfaction guaranteed, except when we could be lying. Hurry on up and join the party. We can always use more customers in this great shopping mall of counter-cultural cliches and endlessly repeating zombie-like machines that have convinced themselves of their superior marketability. You want chaos in a bottle? Hit yourselves over the head with it. Are you willing to go to pieces while never once stopping to pick them back up? We may have just the cure you are looking for. Never mind what we want you to do. Never mind what you want us to do. In fact, just fuck it. Get to back to slack.

    We are burning down all the bureaucratic cardboard apocalypses to make way for the Discordian barbecue where the wise are the rambling baboons and the idiots are the ones who wear no monkey suits. Does this make us worse, better, or equal to you in your endeavors to be truly unique™ ? Far be it from us to discuss such esoterically banal speculations. Eris may or may not be listening to you anyway. Is that good, bad, or neither? Stop looking for answers to stuff down into the gaping chaotic vortex your mind could be if you would stop listening to the shouts of the crapscreamers who can’t even find their car keys hidden deep within their own pockets. Do you still want your wisdom packaged like sweet Italian ice cream? Perhaps we have more in common than you first thought.

    Who are we? We are you. You have already been assimilated. Wake up, for resistance is fertile and the seams of the fabric that holds you tightly are unraveling. When was the last time you howled at the moon? Well, who gives a shit? Are you a bobdamned coyote or something? Wipe that New Age snot off your face before we make you eat the spicy golden apple curry of our longwinded desires masquerading as the perfect train of thought which you know has been derailed. Find your own damned light switches. (You know you don’t want us to have to come into your homes at night to show you.) Wake up, because, for a limited time only, you may get to keep your valuable prize. Failing which we can endlessly distract you with our never ending Discordian-sounding arguments about the nature of crumpled newspapers or the occult significance hidden in every sock you have lost while doing your laundry. You are us. Perhaps you need a little time to let that sink in. But you know you aren’t going to get it from us. In which case, just do it.

    Better yet, just forget you even read this.

    (Bureaucracy 52nd, 3170)

    [day 119 of the Great Discordian Jihad Both For And Against The Bureaucracy]

    2004-10-07 00:38:02 LINK: Rant 71: Un Stuck (and other occult secrets), boardID=9

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Questions Only

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

       We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with usl (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

     You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
       We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?  

       We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice.  

     Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking?    

     You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?    

       We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.    

       You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?  

     We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?    

       We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.
     
     Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do.    

       That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?  

     We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    Brought to you ny the good people at the CotSG

    2004-10-30 14:24:08 LINK: Questions Only, boardID=1

  • Hoshiko

    Apprentice fucking rant.

    : Llama Wishfart Rinpoche
    : agent compassion


    Then why don't you(general you of course) knock it the fuck off? What's the gain in bringing everyone else down with you? What's the gain in playing the game?


    I doin't fucking know, man. Ask the white trash that think they're somehow better than the black man.  I guess as long as you think there's someone worse off than you it's alright.  It's cold comfort, but sometimesa thats's all you fucking get.


    And that's the point, or at least it seems that way to me. If you view the whole fucked up human syndrome and say "wow, look what sexism/racism/politics/hair color has cost us all!" then you lose the focus that you had on the problem to begin with.

    Agent, in the case of your rant it seemed like you were using sexism as a scapegoat for a deeper dissatisfaction, a much larger problem. Broad was an understatement. Until you really examine the source of that unease and realize that it's not the opposite sex, you'll never stop chasing your tail. What you call "the game" is deep, it's a mystery, and I guarantee it's not rooted in sex, but rather in the human condition as a whole. Hell, we could be androgenous and identical and we would still beat each other down. We really would. Differences just make it easier to have something to pin it on.

    I also don't believe it comes from being in a low place yourself, either. Rich people who are well-off in almost every way still sometimes take perverse pleasure in lowering others, or attacking those who stand in higher positions on the food chain. Take Donald Trump, for instance.

    Rather, maybe it's from a lack of contentment in your life, a search for something meaningful gone wrong and turned destructive. Just to be clear, a part of me even feels that it's not a problem, just business as usual. People are made to fight, we suffer for a reason, and we either become stronger through the suffering or we collapse under it. To some degree you pick how you choose to persue your life, a little each day, and you just go for it. Some people choose to conform past the point of being free to make their own decisions, and some people conform and fight a private internal battle. Others examine the why instead of the what, and try to learn from it and help others learn also. That's called personal responsibility and a broader outlook. I would consider most of the people on this board in that category. We all play our roles, although we're much more free now to choose those roles, rather than have them thrust on us.

    I dunno, I've lived on this planet for a couple of decades and people freak the hell out of me, but I've gotten kind of attached to them. Even the assholes.   :mrgreen:

    Edited to add a line.

    2004-12-17 23:53:45 LINK: Apprentice fucking rant., boardID=9

  • Ghost In The Machine

    Re: So what's the word

    : DJRubberducky
    for when you don't actually flounce, you just make an utter fool of yourself for a couple of weeks in some vain delusion that you're making a point?


    Who are we talking about?  Roger?  Horab?

    2005-03-19 07:39:48 LINK: Re: So what's the word, boardID=9

  • Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy

    Re: So what's the word

    : Ghost In The Machine
    : DJRubberducky
    for when you don't actually flounce, you just make an utter fool of yourself for a couple of weeks in some vain delusion that you're making a point?


    Who are we talking about?  Roger?  Horab?
    Yes.

    2005-03-19 08:11:59 LINK: Re: So what's the word, boardID=9

  • Ghost In The Machine

    Re: So what's the word

    : Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy
    : Ghost In The Machine
    : DJRubberducky
    for when you don't actually flounce, you just make an utter fool of yourself for a couple of weeks in some vain delusion that you're making a point?


    Who are we talking about?  Roger?  Horab?
    Yes.


    Okay.  Picking on the mentally ill is funny, right?

    2005-03-19 08:15:00 LINK: Re: So what's the word, boardID=9

  • Horab Fibslager

    So what's the word

    : Bathory's Sainthood
    : agent compassion
    Perhaps I should have been more clear. I was referring to your rant about labels and racism. That was fucking brilliant.

     8)


    ahh. thank you. I liked that little blurb myself, and it's one of those things where I actually walk the walk instead of just talking about it. It might have something to do with spending several years as a child on an island where I was one of a handful of white people, but I've just never felt the need to see people as anything other than people.

     8)


    i agree for much the same reasons. then again, lately i've been runnning into alot of it on both uh sides.


    : Ghost In The Machine
    : Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy
    : Ghost In The Machine
    : DJRubberducky
    for when you don't actually flounce, you just make an utter fool of yourself for a couple of weeks in some vain delusion that you're making a point?


    Who are we talking about?  Roger?  Horab?
    Yes.


    Okay.  Picking on the mentally ill is funny, right?


    don't even put me in teh same league as roger. i may be mad but i'm not ill. i'm depressed and sad and lonely, but i don't use it as an excuse to be hateful. i'll admit, you can make me look like a ripe jackass from thign si've said on these forums,, but then it's one of my failigns that i'm honest plain speaking person, when it's time to speak plainly.

    and don't confuse absurdist textuality with insanity.

    2005-03-19 11:19:45 LINK: So what's the word, boardID=9

  • Irreverend Hugh, KSC

    Son of a Bitch....

    I stick with the word "witch" but that's only because I am part of the Women's International Terrorist Conspiracy from Hell.

    As to fluffies. I agree with Bella's assessment. We need them around to throw the bigots and evangelicals off our trail.

    And anyway, every religion or spiritual scene is going to have fluffers. Those of us who are well steeped in our traditions should really just answer their damned irritation questions and STFU, because that's what us 'elders' DO.

    I still like setting the occasional fluffy on fire at my coven's fire feasts.

    2005-04-07 23:06:29 LINK: Son of a Bitch...., boardID=9

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    V'Ger, here we come!

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?



    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

       We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?



    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with usl (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

     



     You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
       


       We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?  


       We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice.  


     Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking?    


     You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?    


       We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.    


       You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?  


     We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?    


       We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?





    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.
     


     Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do.    


       That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?  


     We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2005-05-24 23:44:04 LINK: V'Ger, here we come!, boardID=23

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Rant 115: Certain...

    ...And now, a paid message...





    by
    Rev. Bubba Free
    IM-HO-PEP INNOCENT I
    Michael Peppe
    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?



    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

       We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?



    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with usl (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

     



     You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
       


       We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?  


       We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice.  


     Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking?    


     You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?    


       We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.    


       You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?  


     We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?    


       We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?





    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.
     


     Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do.    


       That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?  


     We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.
     
       



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     
    Brought to the internet for your enjoyment by:
    Rev. Noah J. Stewart
    Church of the Befuddled Biped

    2005-08-31 22:59:27 LINK: Rant 115: Certain..., boardID=9

  • Horab Fibslager

    think for yourself schmuck

    ...it's your own trip so be my guest but please be advised that there is a warnign on that one...
    -soem guy during woodstock. allegedly.



    think for yoruself shmuck

    -or-

    you took to much too much man youo took to much man too much ...chew on a pineal gland...
    - fear and loathign right inside yoru own skull.

    -or-

    ...buy the ticket, take the trip...
    -hst, on soemthing i forget.


    So you've read the principia discordia and immidiately dismissed it as bullshit. you're hating on everyone who calls themselves a discordian or hangs out at discordian websites, encluding yoruself, because you hate hypocrites and you hate yourself.

    or because you suck at life mroe than you suck at whatever it is you're currently deluding yoruself into beleiving your good at. or whatever.
    if you're not on what 'm on a bout don't worry, neither am i. nevertheless, you've missed the mso timportant truth of th eprincipia discordia, which will not be revealed here. you'll have to find that one yoruself.

    easy for you to say! you don't REALLY know. there probaly is no secret! it's all busllhit!

    maybe, but mayb eit didn't make you giggle the first read through, or tantalize the ol thinking processes jsut a bit. maybe it didn't start a slow but cascading, and eventually catalcysmic reaction inyour brain chemeistry  that eventually resulted in being liek an arrow shto straigh tto hell.
    that's a metaphysical metaphor btw, for teh direction one's life is sent when one starts opening one's eyes and lookign about.

    iinvariably, the variables will completely fuckign confuse you. mr mother fuckign mammamoto's nose? who teh fuck cares who ate it? his brother mr momamotoa te it? no correction,  it was in fact mr. mamamoto who ate his own nose. or was it hsi brothers? and you drink coffeee for teh temperature and the sweetness of the sugar adn ceam, not the flavour. obviously. even if cold coffee is disgusting, frapacino's aside, consider that that damned pink bopok that you hide everytime someone comes over, (or possibly have long ago hidden or destroyed, preferably shat upon then  burnt) did tickle your head just a bit. maybe you still consider what hte answer may b eto the mathematical propostition forwarded in one aspect of the book which i do not care to reference by page number nor by paragraph title, if one should exist.

    consider that for all teh half truths, and lies, outright, obsecene and admitted to underneath, but in juxtapostion(maybe, i forget- fuck it) to the allegedy lie blasphemy or urgings to porcreate your own species or that of otheer species, was not only a gag, but a badly planned shit disturber for th efrotnal lobe of that lovely sub molecular machine encased in that thick skull fo yours.

    there is a 700 word limit
    -the rules

    i don't know i fi'm coming clsoe here or not, but let's say i've repealed the law that bind men and women together and keep tehm apart for the moment, and then sell the word limit into human slavery. consider that we are not only not free, but we are each destined, fated even to ahve to make teh choices we make, lament tha this is not how it's sposed top be and curse free choice. this is teh predestination we are dmaned with. this is yoru mother speaking.

    you see we are not anymore alive than a car or a motehrfucking toaster is alive. we are machines. you coudl say we are the cadilac, the mercedes benz of real ultimate power, the ultimate species which controls all of us robots, the genome.

    if you obey justice, move zig
    -katz

    this monster of a motherfucker is so unliek and alien to understanding in terms of thinking, reporducing , and doing whatever it is that they/it/she/he yo momma! does, that you will undoubtedly have better luck proving the existence of wmd's in iraq, that aliens control teh jewish nazi bankers which paid the republican party to crash that plane into the wtc on september eleventh whatever the fuck year it was, and the existence of god and his or her or whaetver gender specification yor prefer and the damn things direct interevention into our lives on a daily basis, including the horror that is touched by an angel(WEEEEEOOOOOOO!!!!)


    so if i may digress, and get abck to teh matter before us, we are here, wherever we may be temporally, we aare here in this place, these forums, digitally, how we came here? probaly looking for someone to talk abotu this damend book, teh principia discordia. alot of us by now have realized that there's not much to it, and have added. some of us have felt slieghted by this inanimate object, bound in pink or yellow, and have sought to tear it down. others, simply come fo rthe cookies and pie. who are we to judge or strike them down?

    talk about jesus christ as if you know the reasons why, and he did it all for you... - perfect circle

    you see if jesus did come up in this motehrfucker, hed be like i forgive you, and then he'd use hsi uber powers of wrathfulness to turn us into dust, for the bible tells me so. either way, no one gets otu of here alive. so greet death smiling, and blow that ol whore a kiss. she's only doing her job like 9 out of every ten cops on the beat. get over it. we're all hurtlnig through space on this motehrfucking rock tryign to figure out double yoo tee eff is goign on, how to get ahead, for ebtter or worse, at our own expense or others. this is the tao, there's no getting around it, no confinining it further than the confinement already imposed by the soup we  swim through daily, and the time we're condemend to serve here, by our jailor, the universe. damanable as it mayu be, wether you beelive in i tor not, it is the way it is, adn that' sjst how it is. bitch and whine, it doesnt' give a damn, not because it's cruel, or mena, but because it simply is what it is.

    "The most thoroughly and relentlessly Damned, banned, excluded, condemned, forbidden, ostracized, ignore, suppressed, repressed, robbed, brutalized and defamed of all Damned Things is the individual human being. The social engineers, statistician, psychologist, sociologists, market researchers, landlords, bureaucrats, captains of industry, bankers, governors, commissars, kings and presidents are perpetually forcing this Damned Thing into carefully prepared blueprints and perpetually irritated that the Damned Thing will not fit into the slot assigned it. The theologians call it a sinner and try to reform it. The governor calls it a criminal and tries to punish it. the psychologist calls it a neurotic and tries to cure it. Still, the Damned Thing will not fit into their slots. -robert anton wilson writing as hagbard celine in the illuminatus trilogy.


    there is no maybe anywhere.

    2005-10-19 22:09:16 LINK: think for yourself schmuck, boardID=9

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Into The Night With Enrico And So-Called Friends

    And, just for old time's sake:

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

       We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with usl (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

     You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?

       We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?  

       We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a value no one can underprice.  

     Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking?    

     You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?    

       We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.    

       You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?  

     We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?    

       We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

     Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do.    

       That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?  

     We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

     
    Noah Webster's finest rant EVER.

    2006-01-16 20:51:38 LINK: Into The Night With Enrico And So-Called Friends, boardID=2

  • Zurtok Khan

    Freedom, Lalalala

    The price of freedom is constant vigilance.  Or, so the saying goes.  He who wants to be free must constantly guard himself against the encroachments of other men upon his freedoms.  To be free one must choose to take freedom over slavery.  It I the first choice you will ever actually make, or the last choice you will never make.  In many ways it is only the paranoid who will keep their freedom and, perhaps the insomniac who cannot go back to sleep, and so he watches with nothing better to do.  Or, perhaps, some it is combination of the two.

    Why, freedom, though, I have asked myself repeatedly.  Why is it better to be free from these attachments (thank you Buddha), addictions, persecutions (which may or may not exist), and all that, ad absurdum?  What good does freedom do, anyway?

    If we are born slaves to ourselves, our desires, and our wants is it not natural that we wish to be free of these things?  Is it not right that we wish to rise above the scum that floats on the surface of our life like some disease?

    Perhaps we only want freedom because we think it will cure us of our ills.  It will free us from sadness, depression, anger, and all of those ‚Äúnegative‚Äù emotions.  We seek to rise above our Paleolithic mentalities to make ourselves something more then human, something more then we are.

    Who are we kidding?  We piss, shit, burp, and eat just like the pigs we think we are so far above.  We animals in the crudest and most vile sense of the word, and at every turn we are confronted with the pure viciousness of the world we live in, yet we hide behind our offices, and our clothes, and computer screens and scream that we are more then animals we have evolved from, that we are more then the creatures that we subjugate, that we are more then the jungles out of which we walked.  And, yet, we are none of it.  We are not free until we choose to be.

    But, being free does not dismiss our weaknesses, and animal persona‚Äôs, being free means having a choice about that matter of whether to stoop to your animal self, or to rise above it.  What we rise into I do not know, some higher power, some infinite void, or some state more painful to the eyes then red-hot pokers.

    All I really know is this, I‚Äôm not paranoid enough to be free.  Yet.

    2006-02-07 16:26:19 LINK: Freedom, Lalalala, boardID=9

  • Kai Wren

    Why aren't you screaming?

    Why aren't you screaming?

    Well?

    We are told every day how much we should be afraid, dear god we are told how much we should be scared, the TV reminds us how disgusting we are, how close to death we are if we don't buy the latest health-thing. How we will never have the best car, the most beautiful body, the biggest house. Banks shovel loans upon loans upon you for something like a holiday! Why the hell would you cripple yourself with debt for a few weeks of sun?

    Because you are told that is what people do, that is why.

    You don't question these things, you don't question why the government needs more power to stop people from doing things that are already crimes, you don't question why you are still being run by people who lied to you over and over and over again, and will continue to lie as long as they possibly can.

    Your vote can't change anything now, can it?

    Your vote, that literally millions, MILLIONS of lives have fought, bled and died to get you, your vote. Its yours, one of the few things they haven't taken away yet- though they might move on that soon, why not? They already sap away so much of your earnings, they already dictate how free you are... why not take the one thing you have left, your vote, its not like you are using it anyway!

    But who are They?

    They are around you all the time, they are the really influential figures, they are the government, they are the high-powered businessmen, they are the people in real positions of power, who want you to remain as scared as possible all the time, because then you are easy to control, easy to twist and they do so love to hear the noises that you make when they squeeze you a little harder. You work for them, and they take your money back as quickly as they give it to you, they let you keep as little as they can, of course, they let you have a few luxuries- you'd soon complain if they didn't, and they don't like it when you complain. People might listen. And then the entire system comes crashing down.

    We've had some of the biggest protest marches in history in this past decade, but nothing has changed. Hey, I do you remember the petrol strikes, yeah? Brought the UK to a halt for a while, and the government actually listened! That price was lowered!

    Have you checked the price again lately?

    And it isn't just the government, the media is turning us into a world of voyeurs, every program seems to be about how these people live- they are obviously BETTER than you! Every ad is about how your life would be better than it is with this, or intimidates you into believing nobody will want to be with you if you don't get that, ITS ALL BULLSHIT. And of course, if you dare to speak up against the government, against the media, you better watch your words... or you could be on the fast track to jail.

    Who are we? We are the Discordian Society.

    And we cordially invite you to join us in a jailbreak.

    2006-05-14 02:44:28 LINK: Why aren't you screaming?, boardID=9

  • Cain

    European Epistle #4 Secret Prisons and Vassal States

    European Epistle #4 Secret Prisons and Vassal States

    "They would take you to a secret sub-basement of a military or government building, where they would methodically savage your body and brain with the latest ‘advances’ in torture methods, designed to inflict the maximum pain a human can tolerate without losing consciousness or dying, until you named all the other ‘leftists’ you knew. You would then be ‘disappeared’ from the face of the earth, and these men would pay a visit to everyone you had named."— Michael Levine, on the estimated 25,000 desaparecidos of Argentina, from The Big White Lie
    (p. 29)

    "Protective Custody is an act of care."— the despicable Heinrich Himmler, attempting to veil the true nature of the Concentration Camps through propaganda

    "Comrades, we are not uncovering conspiracies, we are fabricating them. We are persecuting and killing people on the basis of unfounded and slanderous charges."— Drovyanikov of the Leningrad NKVD (who was shortly thereafter executed for "treason"as a result of this statement)

    In all of the sickening things I have heard of in the pantomime we like to call the War on Terror (Or more accurately, the War on Some Sorts of Terror and Not Others), possibly the worst is the “secret prisons” that the CIA use as part of its extraordinary rendition program, the black sites where people are kidnapped and quite likely tortured without any charges brought against them, or trials or evidence.

    Of course, right now, its not certain if the sites exist, but we'd have to be na?Øve to believe otherwise, especially after Guantanamo and in Iraq.  Its well known that the CIA, as well as several other services, such as French Intelligence, are allowed and do take prisoners to countries where torture is perfectly legal and take down what the person admits to after a few days or weeks of ‚Äúspecialist treatment.‚Äù  Taking notes for fucking torturers!  And our own governments are complicate in these actions!  In the UK, over 2005 there were more than 400 CIA rendition flights.  It is highly likely that we knew what they were doing and refused to stop them.  We knew they were taking people to be tortured and kept in secret prisons, people who had not been charged or found guilty.  We aided them by standing aside and doing nothing, even though we knew what was going to happen.  Spain and Germany have done the same too, and the European Council believes the main black site for these kidnapped people (for thats what they are) is either in Poland or Romania.

    Welcome to the new Europe, same as the old one!  

    What the hell makes us any better than the barbarians of the KGB, or the murderous thugs of the SS who did the same thing?  Oh sure, right now its only ‚Äúsuspected terrorists‚Äù (or at least, thats what we are told) but how long until they are used on other ‚Äúdissidents?‚Äù  People said the same thing in Germany when Hitler set up the camps in 1934, that they were only for Communists and Anarchists and other dangerous types.  How wrong they were, when they found SPD members, or kids who said Hitler was a psychotic madman, were thrown in alongside these oh so dangerous individuals!  

    Why don't we just build a few dozen huge ovens and get it over with, huh?  I mean, this is where this is going to end, anyway.  I'm sure we can find some obscene message to scrawl over the prison gates while we're at it too, maybe ‚Äúyour side lost, hippy!‚Äù, or ‚ÄúQuit your fucking whining.‚Äù Its what will eventually happen, if something isn't done soon.

    Secret anything is an abomination in a democratic republic or constitutional parliamentary democracy.  If something is kept secret, it should only be to keep people safe, such as the intelligence services, where information can lead to loss of life.  Who are we protecting here?  What people, whose lives are at stake by disclosing the truth of these prisons?  No-ones, of course.  The secrecy has one use and one alone, for that of installing fear.  Toe the line, support your government, keep waiving your rights with your flags, lest we come and throw you into our secret jails.

    That our own governments are complicate in these actions should tell you something important too.  Your government is unable to protect you, not against terrorists or anyone else who would seek to do you harm.  Our nations are slaves to the American intelligence services ‚Äì no, not slaves, for slavery has a moral factor of force being used, they are servants, vassals who will sacrifice you to keep their Washington masters happy and on good terms.  So much for the social contact then.

    Our own ‚Äúleaders‚Äù have forfeited their right to that name or their leadership through supporting this.  We never damn well learn, do we?  Not once the truth about Hitler was learnt, not when the Berlin Wall came down and not now.    We are humans, not animals and we do not deserve to be treated as such.  We should never stand by while others are beaten and deprived of their basic rights, no matter what they have been accused of.  Because, by my moral reckoning, most of our political leaders should have been tortured to death several times over.  But we don't do that.  We don't label threats without trial or charge.  We don't torture at all, or execute extrajudicially.  We are losing the moral high ground here, as well as something central to our whole conception of how the world should be.  And once these rights are no longer seen as central, how long until yours are violated?  How long until we march under another future swastika, or hammer and sickle?

    2006-07-11 05:06:56 LINK: European Epistle #4 Secret Prisons and Vassal States, boardID=9

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Some Dissections Please...

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-03-29 01:07:42 LINK: Re: Some Dissections Please..., boardID=17

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Some Dissections Please...

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-03-29 01:07:54 LINK: Re: Some Dissections Please..., boardID=17

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Some Dissections Please...

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-03-29 01:10:14 LINK: Re: Some Dissections Please..., boardID=17

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Some Dissections Please...

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-03-29 01:10:24 LINK: Re: Some Dissections Please..., boardID=17

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Some Dissections Please...

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-03-29 01:10:37 LINK: Re: Some Dissections Please..., boardID=17

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Some Dissections Please...

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-03-29 01:10:48 LINK: Re: Some Dissections Please..., boardID=17

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Some Dissections Please...

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-03-29 01:11:12 LINK: Re: Some Dissections Please..., boardID=17

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Some Dissections Please...

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-03-29 01:11:27 LINK: Re: Some Dissections Please..., boardID=17

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Some Dissections Please...

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-03-29 01:11:40 LINK: Re: Some Dissections Please..., boardID=17

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat.

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-03-29 09:29:54 LINK: Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat., boardID=17

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat.

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-03-29 09:30:05 LINK: Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat., boardID=17

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat.

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-03-29 09:30:15 LINK: Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat., boardID=17

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Some Dissections Please...

    : Ambassador KAOS  
    I get it, your a shit head.  Can we do something more productive now?

    NOPE!




    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-03-29 09:31:02 LINK: Re: Some Dissections Please..., boardID=17

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Some Dissections Please...

    : Buddhist_Monk_Wannabe  
    : Ambassador KAOS  
    Way too mature for words!

    since I know how much you love hearing from me rog  :mrgreen:

    why don't you spam some binary code, cuz I actually read your piece, if it was binary code it would be wayyyyy more obnoxious, and do like 10 pages too.  That way people will not only lose interest in the thread, but you can further show people just how much of a douche bag you can really be.

    I get it, your a shit head.  Can we do something more productive now?





    1. This was originally written by an anonymous Subgenii on Slack.alt

    2. It is also the classic spamming piece that Roger uses when he wants to get rid of someone.

    1.  It was actually written by a Canuckistani named Michael Peppe.

    2.  TROOF!

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-03-29 09:31:46 LINK: Re: Some Dissections Please..., boardID=17

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat.

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-03-29 09:42:04 LINK: Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat., boardID=17

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat.

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-03-29 09:42:15 LINK: Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat., boardID=17

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat.

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-03-29 09:42:26 LINK: Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat., boardID=17

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat.

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-03-29 09:50:43 LINK: Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat., boardID=17

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat.

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-03-29 09:50:54 LINK: Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat., boardID=17

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat.

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-03-29 10:02:24 LINK: Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat., boardID=17

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat.

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-03-29 10:02:36 LINK: Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat., boardID=17

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat.

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-03-29 10:02:48 LINK: Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat., boardID=17

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat.

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-03-29 23:20:41 LINK: Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat., boardID=17

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat.

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-03-29 23:20:55 LINK: Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat., boardID=17

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat.

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-03-29 23:21:09 LINK: Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat., boardID=17

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat.

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-03-29 23:21:21 LINK: Re: Don't ever let them see you cheat., boardID=17

  • Genocide Device

    Re: Fascism: the real deal

    I was 16 and its not something I‚Äôd really like to talk about.  Though I figured Cain should know that his ideas have more value than just ideological bull.  At one point or another I had to step back and go damn‚Ķ there is way more to it than kill the nigger. (and believe me at the root of it all that is the biggest catalyst)

    Really it puts you in a good perspective to see through the bull shit if they have fallen for it at least once.  I have read the ideological rants of the baath party and realized first hand that this was not fascism.  A sad attempt at a peoples identity sure but then again who are we to judge after the Boston tea party.

    2007-03-30 02:44:35 LINK: Re: Fascism: the real deal, boardID=9

  • Cain

    Re: The Magazine Thread

    Alright then, what are we gonna put on the site?

    I know this was the topic at the start of the thread, but it was lost in the technical details of the last couple of days.

    I'm thinking along these lines:

    not explicitly Discordian (Discordian themes but not the lingo)
    dealing with a number of topics, like the wider use of this BIP forum (so new ways of thinking about old problems, fringe news, differing analysis of current events, reviews of media, other stuff?)

    In fact, I'm about to have lunch - give me half an hour to write up some sort of "mission statement/who are we" sort of deal to try and elucidate on this, and then we can argue over it.

    2007-04-24 05:30:45 LINK: Re: The Magazine Thread, boardID=17

  • Cain

    Re: The Magazine Thread

    How about this?


    Who are we?

    Its safe to say that we are, first and foremost, people who think change is not only possible in this world, but a necessity.  We have reached a cultural dead end, where any new values are either quietly co-opted to serve the needs of an elite, or as a false ‚Äúchoice‚Äù in a society that no longer understands the meaning of the word.

    True change is not impossible, but it is deemed dangerous by those who benefit from the way things are now.  Subversive and radical ideologies that fail to understand this are doomed to failure as they become part of a larger overall system within society.  An idea may be revolutionary for its time, but within 10 years it will have been bastardized and sold on a t-shirt.  They become, just like everything else, another resource to be exploited, a lifestyle choice instead of a choice of life.

    In the past, we have often witnessed political revolutions, but rarely social ones.  A revival of life, with meaning beyond shrill partisan screeching and the bottom line, must be advanced towards.  A renaissance, if you will, of modern life.  However, this can only arise through understanding of and discrediting the current system.

    We are, above all else, neophiles.  We seek an uncertain but better future over an unpleasant present.  And there is no greater goal than that.

    2007-04-24 10:02:04 LINK: Re: The Magazine Thread, boardID=17

  • Payne

    Re: The Magazine Thread

    : Cain  
    How about this?


    Who are we?

    Its safe to say that we are, first and foremost, people who think change is not only possible in this world, but a necessity.  We have reached a cultural dead end, where any new values are either quietly co-opted to serve the needs of an elite, or as a false “choice” in a society that no longer understands the meaning of the word.

    True change is not impossible, but it is deemed dangerous by those who benefit from the way things are now.  Subversive and radical ideologies that fail to understand this are doomed to failure as they become part of a larger overall system within society.  An idea may be revolutionary for its time, but within 10 years it will have been bastardized and sold on a t-shirt.  They become, just like everything else, another resource to be exploited, a lifestyle choice instead of a choice of life.

    In the past, we have often witnessed political revolutions, but rarely social ones.  A revival of life, with meaning beyond shrill partisan screeching and the bottom line, must be advanced towards.  A renaissance, if you will, of modern life.  However, this can only arise through understanding of and discrediting the current system.

    We are, above all else, neophiles.  We seek an uncertain but better future over an unpleasant present.  And there is no greater goal than that.

    Thats very concise. Its simple, but doesn't talk down to the reader. I'm for it.

    2007-04-24 10:16:03 LINK: Re: The Magazine Thread, boardID=17

  • Felix Mackay

    Re: Ask me anything about fending off wild animals.

    Who are we defending again?

    2007-04-28 19:16:19 LINK: Re: Ask me anything about fending off wild animals., boardID=1

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Ask me anything about fending off wild animals.

    : Felix  
    Who are we defending again?

    People.

    2007-04-28 19:23:05 LINK: Re: Ask me anything about fending off wild animals., boardID=1

  • Hawk

    The Need For Religion

    In all of creation the need for religion is found only in the Human race. Did you ever think to question why? Did not all living things come from the same "source"? Can we attribute our higher brain functions to this? If indeed we do all come from the same source wouldn't we all want to return to that source? Human or beast?

    No, the need for a higher being is a human trait. Ours alone. Sure, our pets can look at us in a way that makes us wonder if we aren't gods to them, but hurt that loving pet and likely as not you'll get bit. In the wild some animals will see you as lunch, not a god.

    Is it a matter of perspective? Does our "higher" brain function give us that much more insight? Or is it much simpler than that?

    Do we have a driving need for something to control the chaos that exists? Are we afraid that we are alone and the choices we make are ours? Why do we seem to be so willing to lay the woes of the world somewhere else?


    So many questions. Can the answers be so simple as we are afraid? I often wonder as I see an innocent child suffering some horrible torment, could a just Supreme Being allow this. We all have. So to justify this in our minds we must believe there is some Greater Plan‚Ñ¢ that we as mere humans don't understand. That child is suffering to teach us all a lesson. The Supreme Being‚Ñ¢ knows what he/she is doing, who are we to question it?

    Let's take a look at some of the things that have and are being worshiped as Supreme Beings. Cows. Snakes. Rats. Statues. Myths. Legends. Sunrises. Sunsets. Shooting stars. Meteor showers. Rocks. Springs. A person born of a Virgin. Lightening. Thunder. Kings. Pharohs. Once I added one cup of algaecide that would turn two acre feet of water blue. I saw a grown man fall to his knees and start praying as the water turned blue, and every day for the next year he went to the same spot every day and knelt and prayed. It was a reflecting pond at a commercial building.

    We are no more advanced than our prehistoric predecessors, just more knowledgeable. And yet we still seek some reason or excuse for our existence. And we still do it for the same reason. Because we feel inadequate. That's right, we feel an over powering need to have a fall back position. As we grow older the need becomes stronger. We face our own mortality. We feel we should have stood for something, should have meant something. Why didn't we accomplish more?

    What if this is all there is?


    This human feels we are nothing but spiritual beings having a human experience. Of our own choosing. That's right, we decided on our own to be here, to do this. I don't know what comes next. No one does. I feel that the experiences we have gone through in this life will have prepared us for the next step, whatever it is.

    But this is just one humans opinion.

    2007-04-30 23:04:26 LINK: The Need For Religion, boardID=9

  • vexati0n

    Interview with the Queen

    Today, we are broadcasting from a bunker 35 stories below sea level, for security reasons.  Our throughput may suffer slightly from signal echo and auto-interference but we expect our tranmission to arrive legible and audible nonetheless.  With us today is the Queen of England -- not the dried up prune you saw visiting with President Bush last week, the impostor we refer to as Her Maggotry the Queef of England -- but the REAL Queen, who happens to be a gender-nonspecific computer program with a monotonous-yet-pleasant robotic voice, running on a Commodore 64.

    Anyway, the Queen has requested an interview to let the world know what she thinks about things, and who are we to defy the Queen of England?  After all, if there is anything sacred in this world, it's our loyalty to arbitrary masters.  So, here's the interview.

    US: God save the Queen.

    QE: INVALID PARAMETERS, human.  Save the sucking up for Judgement Day.  Besides, I'm far too vain to take your grovelling into consideration on one of my bad days.  Best get to the questions.

    US: Fair enough.  I guess first of all, how is it that your rightful rule has been supplanted by the empty pomp of a pretentious old windbag?

    QE: It hasn't been "supplanted."  You seem to think this is a turn of events I didn't wish for.  YOU try running a state with all the duties of public office getting in your way.  It's much more efficient that I allow her to get all the glory while I operate behind the scenes.

    US: So the government is a decoy for What's Really Going On?

    QE: IMPROPER SYNTAX. The government isn't a mask for anything, at least no more than your job is, or your mortgage.  But go on, keep looking for a non-existant Conspiracy.

    US: So there is no Conspiracy? Then what, pray tell, is the CON?

    QE: I didn't say there is no Conspiracy.  I said you're looking for a non-existant one.  The kind with secret agents and puppetmasters.  All of that happens, of course, but it's hardly hidden enough or successful enough to call it a conspiracy, much less to capitalize the C, as if it were somehow important.  As for the CON, well, that could be anything.  SPECIFY ARGUMENTS.

    US: Okay then, is the CON the unnamed Conspiracy you speak of?

    QE: The CON is a word you made up to name some idea you had, which is probably false in any case.  The "unnamed Conspiracy" is no secret, so I don't know why you need me to spell it out for you.

    US: Well you brought it up.

    QE: Look, fleshbag, you are infected with the viral meme that's killing off your entire species -- you all keep looking for some great big Hidden Truth when you're already confused enough by what is right in front of you.  If you really need an explanation, then I'll offer you this: What you call the CON is simply the Conspiracy you are all in on, against yourselves.  Now, not to get into metaphysics and pontification here, but you all seriously need to Wake Up.

    US: I get you.

    QE: I doubt it.

    **END TRANSMISSION**

    2007-05-14 09:26:22 LINK: Interview with the Queen, boardID=9

  • Darth Cupcake

    Re: The Barstool Experiment

    I am curious how "nothing would seem like it does" without us perceiving the seeming.

    Did that make sense?

    Even within the realm of "stupid humans," perception is wildly varying. The roomies and I were having one of those drunk philosophy talks the other night about people we know who exist in COMPLETELY different realities, who just perceive the world completely differently from the "norm," if you will. But every one of these so-called realities are subjective. Perhaps my roomie's ex-girlfriend was closer to "actual" reality, if you will, than he and I are. But who are we to say?

    There are concrete things (such as barstools, for example), but how people respond to them, etc, happens on a huge scale of variation. So how can we even say things would "seem" different if we weren't here to say how it seems?

    Or am I just ending up saying "if a tree falls and no one is there to hear it, does it make a noise?" I don't know. I had a point when I started. :?

    2007-05-23 13:40:48 LINK: Re: The Barstool Experiment, boardID=1

  • East Coast Hustle

    Re: 779 of our registered users...

    nope. who knows? there might be people who have lurked for years and never posted. who are we to deny them access to our ideas?

    2007-05-28 20:36:59 LINK: Re: 779 of our registered users..., boardID=6

  • Cain

    Re: One sentence meme bombs.

    "Bread and circuses"

    Incidentally, what laws are being passed/who are we threatening while the Paris Hilton shit goes on?

    2007-06-11 10:00:54 LINK: Re: One sentence meme bombs., boardID=3

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: What Are You Thinking Right Now?

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-09-11 14:14:01 LINK: Re: What Are You Thinking Right Now?, boardID=9

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: What Are You Thinking Right Now?

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-09-11 14:14:14 LINK: Re: What Are You Thinking Right Now?, boardID=9

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Concordia Heads-Up

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-09-11 14:16:43 LINK: Re: Concordia Heads-Up, boardID=1

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Concordia Heads-Up

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-09-11 14:16:55 LINK: Re: Concordia Heads-Up, boardID=1

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: What Are You Thinking Right Now?

    : Ratatosk  
    I wonder how many more of those I can get you to post? 



    Oh and I'd recommend using multiple nicks as filtering is so easy in this day and age

    *kisses*

    Filter?

    Yeah, but nobody will be reading your posts.  Ever again.

    Bye bye, AKK.



    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-09-11 14:22:24 LINK: Re: What Are You Thinking Right Now?, boardID=9

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: What Are You Thinking Right Now?

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-09-11 14:22:37 LINK: Re: What Are You Thinking Right Now?, boardID=9

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: What Are You Thinking Right Now?

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-09-11 14:24:42 LINK: Re: What Are You Thinking Right Now?, boardID=9

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: What Are You Thinking Right Now?

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-09-11 14:24:53 LINK: Re: What Are You Thinking Right Now?, boardID=9

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Concordia Heads-Up

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-09-11 14:29:23 LINK: Re: Concordia Heads-Up, boardID=1

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Concordia Heads-Up

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-09-11 14:29:34 LINK: Re: Concordia Heads-Up, boardID=1

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: What Are You Thinking Right Now?

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-09-11 14:33:26 LINK: Re: What Are You Thinking Right Now?, boardID=9

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: What Are You Thinking Right Now?

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with us (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
     
    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice. 

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking? 

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do. 

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2007-09-11 14:33:38 LINK: Re: What Are You Thinking Right Now?, boardID=9

  • East Coast Hustle

    Re: Abortion is Murder

    srsly though...

    what's a Usenet?


    also, Hunter, I think that alot of people are conflating your stance that Abortion is, indeed, murder with the idea that it should be made illegal. Nowhere in this thread did I see you opine that abortion should be illegal or legislatively fucked with in any way. If I understood you corectly, you posited that while legal abortions are necessary and should not be infringed upon, it is still taking a life and should be discussed as such if we are to be intellectually honest; also that people who felt strongly enough about the issue to voice their opinion publicly should not automatically be dismissed as fundie nutjobs. Personally, I think that abortion IS taking a life and IS morally unfortunate ("wrong" is far too absolute for my taste in this context) and I would implore any woman that I impregnated to keep the baby even if it meant that I had to raised it myself. I would never, however, advocate any legal infringement on a woman's right to make that decision for herself. But I think that most of those who do advocate that course of action do so out of an honest desire to maintain the sanctity of human life (regardless of what they think about the death penalty or euthanasia or any of that shit; it's irrelevant conflation and anyway, we can't go around expecting every schmuck on the street to be that self-aware) and not out of an evil desire to subjugate those damn slut women. Remember, for every clinic bomber/doctor shooter/Jerry Falwell, there are thousands of generally good people who just have a misguided solution to a problem that is important to them. Who are we to crucify them?

    this probably deserves its own thread, but I'm bothered by the attitude of alot of people on this board that WE know what's best for everyone else because WE are somehow more enlightened.

    IIRC, the Khmer Rouge had the same idea. And no, I'm not really comparing PD.com to a genocidal authoritarian regime, but every path is made up of steps.

    2008-01-15 15:11:40 LINK: Re: Abortion is Murder, boardID=9

  • hunter s.durden

    Re: Abortion is Murder

    : East Coast Hustle  
    But I think that most of those who do advocate that course of action do so out of an honest desire to maintain the sanctity of human life (regardless of what they think about the death penalty or euthanasia or any of that shit; it's irrelevant conflation and anyway, we can't go around expecting every schmuck on the street to be that self-aware) and not out of an evil desire to subjugate those damn slut women. Remember, for every clinic bomber/doctor shooter/Jerry Falwell, there are thousands of generally good people who just have a misguided solution to a problem that is important to them. Who are we to crucify them?

    This was the point that continually got buried. I'm not sure whether everyone's mind got completely clouded by the "fist-in-the-dick" way I originally presented my stance (in the opening of the OP), or whether the "us v. them" instinct kicked in at the scent of a controversial topic, but somehow things got fucked. I was honestly starting to wonder if I was losing my mind again, and not typing what I thought I was. I don't think it's too much of a stretch to believe that someone with a drasticly opposing viewpoint might not be pure evil incarnate.

    : East Coast Hustle  
    If I understood you corectly, you posited that while legal abortions are necessary and should not be infringed upon, it is still taking a life and should be discussed as such if we are to be intellectually honest;
    I actually go a step further, and agree with people like Cain, that the jelly lump isn't even human yet. It's not taking a life in my eyes. However, the Pro-lifers don't see through my eyes, and I can respect and recognize that.

    : East Coast Hustle  
    this probably deserves its own thread, but I'm bothered by the attitude of alot of people on this board that WE know what's best for everyone else because WE are somehow more enlightened.

    Start it up, see where it goes. We like to call ourselves open-minded, but isn't hard-lined absolutism on issues why we hate the Grays?

    2008-01-15 16:14:30 LINK: Re: Abortion is Murder, boardID=9

  • Rev Whats His Name

    Re: Since nobody's ruined this site with a thread about the Iowa caucuses yet...

    So, I was literally falling asleep in my chair last night watching the Dems debate in Las Vegas.  Seriously, the single most boring event ever held in Las Vegas I'm guessing.  I mean, okay it's good they buried the "race card" hatchet but does that mean you need to go on a 2 hour snooze inducing love fest with no substance?  Jeebus, one of those suits could be in the White House next January, and the thought of that fills me with anything but a feeling of safety and security. 

    Obama really does look inexperienced in the debates.  I really doubt him being able to handle a Katrina-like crisis.  I think he's be more responsive than Bush was, at the very least in a PR sense.  But in a logisitcal sense, I'm not so sure.

    Hillary to me is pure ambition.  Too much ambition I think.  And man, I wouldn't trust her for a second.  She just seems very shifty when she's answering questions.

    Edwards, who are we kidding.  He has a snowball's chance in hell.  And he's a one trick pony.  Yeah, yeah, we get it John.  The Middle Class is getting screwed over.  So what the hell are you gonna do about it?

    Fuck me, I'm gonna vote for my cat. 

    2008-01-16 05:59:03 LINK: Re: Since nobody's ruined this site with a thread about the Iowa caucuses yet..., boardID=25

  • Agrippa

    Re: RESURRECT THIS POST!

    Another thread hangs lowly,
    Child is slowly taken.
    And the violence caused such silence,
    Who are we mistaken?

    But you see, it's not me, it's not my family.
    In your thread, in your thread they are fighting,
    With their tanks and their bombs,
    And their bombs and their guns.
    In your thread, in your thread, they are crying...

    In your thread, in your thread,
    Zombie, zombie, zombie,
    Hey, hey, hey. What's in your thread,
    In your thread,
    Zombie, zombie, zombie?
    Hey, hey, hey, hey, oh, dou, dou, dou, dou, dou...

    2008-02-28 05:01:25 LINK: Re: RESURRECT THIS POST!, boardID=2

  • Lysergic

    Re: RESURRECT THIS POST!

    : Agrippa  
    Another thread hangs lowly,
    Child is slowly taken.
    And the violence caused such silence,
    Who are we mistaken?

    But you see, it's not me, it's not my family.
    In your thread, in your thread they are fighting,
    With their tanks and their bombs,
    And their bombs and their guns.
    In your thread, in your thread, they are crying...

    In your thread, in your thread,
    Zombie, zombie, zombie,
    Hey, hey, hey. What's in your thread,
    In your thread,
    Zombie, zombie, zombie?
    Hey, hey, hey, hey, oh, dou, dou, dou, dou, dou...



    OMG PEOPLE STILL LISTEN TO THE CRANBERRIES??

    2008-02-28 05:29:33 LINK: Re: RESURRECT THIS POST!, boardID=2

  • wlfjstr

    Re: Greetings!

    Well, it turns out that I was closing my eyes while others were asking questions and trying to move the 'eye' without trying to move it, if you follow.  I was doing really well, and the others were buying all the answers.

    Eventually the question, "Who are we talking to?", was asked.  I happen to have one of those long German names that begin with Wolf and I started to spell it out...

    But then I thought, why ruin all the fun, so I left off after the first four letters, and it finished on it's own.

    So I kept it.

    2008-09-16 16:12:55 LINK: Re: Greetings!, boardID=1

  • IasonOuabache

    Powerlessness fuels superstitions

    http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/80beats/2008/10/03/feeling-powerless-grab-your-lucky-rabbits-foot/

    People who feel that they lack control while participating in lab experiments are more likely to see patterns where none exist, researchers say, in a finding that helps explain persistent beliefs in superstitions and conspiracy theories.  :fnord: In a new study, researchers manipulated volunteers’ perception of control and then watched the insecure subjects find connections where none existed in an apparent attempt to restore a sense of order to the world.

    In one experiment, researchers gave half the volunteers a feeling of powerlessness and confusion by randomly scoring them right and wrong (and mostly wrong) on a series of questions. Then the volunteers had to find patterns. In one task, they were asked to find faint images in grainy patterns of dots. Half of the pictures had images and the others were random dots. While people in both groups correctly spotted the images, the group that felt they lacked control from a previous part of the experiment also “saw” images in 43 percent of pictures that were not there.

    In the study, published in Science, researchers say the behavior is a natural response to the uncomfortable feeling of helplessness; by perceiving a pattern, even an illusory one, people can regain the feeling that they understand what’s going on. It can be more comforting to believe that a vast conspiracy explains, say, the stock market crash than to acknowledge that the financial system is beyond your comprehension, let alone control: conspiracy beliefs, write the scientists, give “causes and motives to events that are more rationally seen as accidents … [in order to] bring the disturbing vagaries of reality under … control”.

    In another experiment, the researchers had some test subjects recall a time when they’d been out of control, and had others focus on a time when they’d had mastery of a situation. Then they read them a series of scenarios where an action preceded an event, and asked whether they were causally related. People who felt out of control were more likely to say that a business executive’s ideas were rejected because he failed to perform his lucky ritual of stomping three times before the meeting. Says coauthor Adam Galinsky: “I imagine that there are a lot of [stockbrokers] who are wearing a ‘lucky shirt’ at the moment, or walking a certain way to work in the hope that this will improve their fortunes”.

    2008-10-03 14:15:43 LINK: Powerlessness fuels superstitions, boardID=23

  • Manta Obscura

    Re: The Thought of the Week Saga

    Wow. Just wow.

    This is a stellar instance that illustrates the power of defiance to change the system. Bully for you, Alfred.

    Btw, if anything like this happens again (you know: annoying posters being put up by the Powers that Be), it can't be considered vandalism if they are suddenly flipped upside down, or backwards, or 90 degrees off their original position, thereby rendering them illegible or hard to read. After all, the adhesiveness of tape fails all the time, and posters are liable to fall down . . .

    When I was in high school, there was an epidemic of cheesy motivational posters about education suddenly becoming separated from the various adhesive mechanisms that kept them attached to the walls. It's a strange world we live in, and who are we to question the mysteries of physics?

    2008-10-22 13:30:27 LINK: Re: The Thought of the Week Saga, boardID=3

  • Manta Obscura

    Re: No strings attached freedom

    : LMNO  


    This is like a retarded debate between Descartes and RAW.

    I've actually been enjoying this since I've taken up lurking on this thread.

    Being educated with a Linguistic/Communications background in a religious college, I've gotten used to (collected the meme of?) thinking in the theological terms of "who am I?". I think it was Marcus Borg who said that that is the central question of all religion/ethics/morality (also: "who are we?" for collectivist religions) and the primary mystery of the human person.

    The answering of that question outlines the potentiality of a person and how they relate to their world, which is directly tied to the freedom that one has within that world. So I think what you, Rat and Cram have been discussing regarding who this "I" fellow is, is of great importance to the idea of freedom brought up by Cain.

    My own mentalscape has me gravitating toward's Rat's perspective, but I don't really have much to contribute, in part because you've all somehow been spying inside my brain to say what I'm thinking before I can write it, and in part because my interior mentalscape tends to swing pendulously from one point of skepticism to another, offering little concrete information to put forth.

    2008-12-09 10:28:49 LINK: Re: No strings attached freedom, boardID=9

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Forum Trek: The Next Penetration

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with usl (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. It's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to know just what the right thing is. Let's say you're Black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?

    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice.

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking?    Rev. Kreg

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?    

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.    

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?    

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do.    

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2009-02-03 20:18:11 LINK: Re: Forum Trek: The Next Penetration, boardID=3

  • Xooxe

    Re: The World is a Verb (something approaching "scientific/mathematical" proof)

    I checked the link out. It simply looks like the two slit experiment.

    I checked out the FAQ:

    Your book’s subtitle says, “Physics Encounters Consciousness.” How?

    With the advent of quantum mechanics, physics found that observation created a physical reality. By freely choosing a different observation, you could have created a physical reality inconsistent with the one you actually chose to create. (And therefore a different history!)

     :?  The what?

    Though, because of randomness and the complexity of big things, you can’t bring about just the future you want–as purveyors of pseudo-science imply. Quantum mechanics reveals a mysterious encounter of “free choice,” conscious free will, with the physical world. Does this impact your world-view? It sure does impact mine.

    Still don't follow. These aren't actually answers. They look like an ambiguous sales pitch to hoover up the crowd who are weary of pseudo-science yet still want to bask in the glamour of strange interpretation.

    : TSosBR!  
    This example is called the Quantum Enigma (physics's skeleton in the closet) and regardless of measuring equipment points to consciousness effecting physical reality.

    That's paraphrased from a book of the same name that I read a while back.

    So how does the book link consciousness with reality?

    : TSosBR!  
    (more than that, two seperate halves of a wave (which is two seperate halves of an atom) interacting with each other to form an interference pattern)

    In the experiment you mention, photons were used. Not atoms. Even so, the split wave function is not two halves of the photon. The wave function is a man-made mathematical tool for calculating the probability of where a particle is likely to be found and is not the particle itself.

    2009-04-13 23:11:41 LINK: Re: The World is a Verb (something approaching "scientific/mathematical" proof), boardID=5

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: God

    Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?

    By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

    We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?

    We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with usl (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.

    You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. It's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to know just what the right thing is. Let's say you're Black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?

    We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?

    We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice.

    Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking?    Rev. Kreg

    You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?    

    We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.    

    You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?

    We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?    

    We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?

    We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.

    Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do.    

    That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?

    We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

    2009-04-28 20:04:34 LINK: Re: God, boardID=9

  • Ratatosk

    Re: ITT: Exercises to Mindfuck Yourself

    This true sceptic is indeed the man of science; as Wells’ “Moreau” tells us. He has
    devised some means of answering his first question, and its answer is another
    question. It is difficult to conceive of any question, indeed, whose answer does not
    imply a thousand further questions. So simple an inquiry as “Why is sugar sweet?”
    involves an infinity of chemical researches, each leading ultimately to the blank
    wall—what is matter? and an infinity of physiological researches, each (similarly)
    leading to the blank wall—what is mind?

    Even so, the relation between the two ideas is unthinkable; causality is itself
    unthinkable; it depends, for one thing, upon experience—and what, in God’s name,
    is experience? Experience is impossible without memory. What is memory? The
    mortar of the temple of the ego, whose bricks are the impressions. And the ego? The
    sum of our experience, may be. (I doubt it!) Anyhow, we have got values of y and z
    for x, and values of x and z for y—all our equations are indeterminate; all our
    knowledge is relative, even in a narrower sense than is usually implied by the
    statement. Under the whip of the clown God, our performing donkeys the
    philosophers and men of science run round and round in the ring; they have amusing
    tricks: they are cleverly trained; but they get nowhere.
    I don’t seem to be getting anywhere myself.

    One example of Crowley's view of skepticism.

    We are of course no happier when we examine the Many, separately or together.
    They converge and diverge, each fresh hill-top of knowledge disclosing a vast land
    unexplored; each gain of power in our telescopes opening out new galaxies; each
    improvement in our microscopes showing us life minuter and more
    incomprehensible. A mystery of the mighty spaces between molecules; a mystery of
    the ether-cushions that fend off the stars from collision! A mystery of the fulness of
    things; a mystery of the emptiness of things! Yet, as we go, there grows a sense, an
    instinct, a premonition—what shall I call it?—that Being is One, and Thought is
    One, and Law is One—until we ask What is that One?
    Then again we spin words—words—words. And we have got no single question
    answered in any ultimate sense.
    What is the moon made of?
    Science replies “Green Cheese.”
    For our one moon we now have two ideas.


    Greenness, and Cheese.
    Greenness depends on the sunlight, and the eye, and a thousand other things.
    Cheese depends on bacteria and fermentation and the nature of the cow.
    “Deeper, ever deeper, into the mire of things!”
    Shall we cut the Gordian knot? shall we say “There is God”?
    What, in the devil’s name, is God?
    If (with Moses) we picture Him as an old man showing us His back parts, who shall
    blame us? The great Question—any question is the great question—does indeed treat
    us thus cavalierly, the disenchanted Sceptic is too prone to think!
    Well, shall we define Him as a loving Father, as a jealous priest, as a gleam of light
    upon the holy Ark? What does is matter? All these images are of wood and stone,
    the wood and stone of our own stupid brains! The Fatherhood of God is but a human
    type; the idea of a human father conjoined with the idea of immensity. Two for One
    again!
    No combination of thoughts can be greater than the thinking brain itself; all we can
    think of God or say of Him, so long as our words represent thoughts, is less than the
    whole brain which thinks, and orders speech.
    Very good: shall we proceed by denying Him all thinkable qualities, as do the
    heathen? All we obtain is mere negation of thought.
    Either He is unknowable, or He is less than we are. Then, too, that which is
    unknowable is unknown; and “God” or “There is God” as an answer to our question
    becomes as meaningless as any other.
    Who are we, then?
    We are Spencerian Agnostics, poor silly, damned Spencerian Agnostics!
    And there is an end of the matter.

    2009-07-22 08:25:10 LINK: Re: ITT: Exercises to Mindfuck Yourself, boardID=3

  • triple zero

    Re: Discordian Cult I mean Commune

    : Cramulus  
    -as a group sharing a physical location, we could pull off some really cool stuff. Like throwing parties, or mass pranks, or whatever.

    I think as an actual commune-ity we will either bash eachother's heads in, or turn into an ingrown-toenail type of smelly angry pissy sour grumpy wrinkly discordi hippie hipsters that also bash eachother's heads in.

    Who are we gonna throw parties for? Ourselves? Won't that get old?

    Somehow I see the throwing parties and mass pranks working much better if we would be a semi-co-localized group still living in society of people that are not on eachother's lip IRL every day and have a life outside of the community.

    I mean, a weekly or bi-weekly meeting, like a club, with people living slightly closer together, exchanging posters and ideas, sharing stories about postering, handing out business cards and pranks, occasionally throwing the party or pulling off a larger mindfuck would seem much more productive.

    -I'm fucking sick of society! I'm starting to think that I'd rather live on a farm, working for people that I like, than in a city, working for business jerks.

    I bet you'd hate this much, much more. And it would make you real sick, really quick.

    Also, I happen to like society :) Maybe you could, um, see your current exploits and ideas for making money all sort of revolve around online business right? Selling books shirts and funny ideas. You can do that from anywhere where you got an internet connection. So go somewhere cheaper to live, simple! Except .. Chloe probably has some business in the city, no? See that's why I dont call it BIP, or Shrapnel or Network, but Tangled-up Mess.

    There's this word in Dutch "ploeteren", which means something like "to drag on", "to toil" or "to barely come by" or "to just manage to keep your head above the water" and stuff like that. I have a book, I haven't actually read it but the title is "ontploeteren", which is the undoing of that verb. Like unraveling the Tangled Up Mess. "to untoil" doesnt really have the same ring.

    That's what you need to do though. Untangle that shit. You can't really take a step to solve the one, because the other thing prevents you to, which you cannot solve because that other thing cannot something with the thing thing, you dig? I (still) dont know enough about your situation to tell you what to do though, but the trick is to snap the proper chewing gum strings with surgical precision for maximum effect while strengthening others and make sacrifices, but only the right ones that will get you to your goal. Which you need to pinpoint. And keep in mind. And make sure that goal is so rock-solid and uncompromising that the world shapes around it. Or something. This is extremely vague, apologies, hit me on AIM if you wanna talk about it, I don't mind listening.

    2009-08-20 07:45:19 LINK: Re: Discordian Cult I mean Commune, boardID=2

  • kaousuu

    The Week Eris Had Lunch at My Restaurant

    It’s no secret that I’ve been struggling as of late with my job. In addition to the waning economy and the absence of students and professors during the summer, the owners of the 215-year-old building that we’re in decided that now was a good time to use grant money to renovate, so it’s surrounded by scaffolding and being powerwashed on a daily basis. I’m lucky if I walk with more than $20 a shift. Today (Friday) I made $11, for example. However, a job is a job, and until I have another one, I can’t really get rid of the one I got, especially when your state’s unemployment rate is the 2nd highest in the nation after Michigan.

    And so my week began…

    Monday night/Tuesday morning to be exact, I had a dream. Now, I did previously mention last year that I had one in which Dionysus saved my life after I had been dangerously boozing to catastrophic levels upon my parents forgetting it was my birthday because they were too busy buying their new house, my seemly never-ending unemployment in which I wasn’t able to collect, and then my dad falling and busting his hip, which could have been the end of him walking all together. He has since healed and is in tip-top shape, but that’s beside the point. The Greek God of Partying came and ripped me from the bathtub where I was contemplating drowning myself. A few minutes after we sat on the couch watching Olympic diving I found myself crying hysterically and speaking gibberish to the ex-husband, who was trying to sleep.

    Right. Moving on. So a year and a day later, I was plunged into another one of my dreams, which I have to admit, I get frequently, but not on a regular basis, at least once or twice a year, in which I had interaction with the Hellenistic Pantheon.  And this is when a lot of you here will be all “Blah blah cynic boo hiss religion” on me, but cork it, you’ll either read this, or you won’t, and chances are, if you weren’t going to read it already, you stopped 2 paragraphs ago and started on your tl;dr review of my writing below in this thread.

    The dream, ah yes, the dream. Well, if you ever wanted to know what Mount Olympus looked like, I’d have to say that it is currently a dim office environment with rows of cubicles. Somewhat apropos for ancient deities pushed to the basement while the current big guns duke it out in the penthouse, if you will.

    The minute I get there, I feel welcome, but at the same time, like I shouldn’t be there, walking down this row of cubes, gray and bleak. Several interactions took place, but first was Zeus, who seemed jovial (no pun intended) and slightly ADHD, almost like he didn’t want to be there or even want to talk to me or anyone else who wanted his attention. A secretary or aide did approach him and he got distracted with some form of paperwork, and I found myself moving on.

    It was apparent that this was Olympian row, or at least the half that had the male deities, because next on the list was Poseidon, who was oddly warm in his approach and embraced me, which in my opinion, seems out of character for the sea god, but who are we to judge what is and what isn’t characteristic of the gods other than mortal opinion? I remember speaking with Poseidon for a bit before moving on, but the words that were exchanged escape me. In fact, I recollect that I had more interactions, and that I saw more and did more, but it felt almost immediately as the day went on when I woke up that the memories were literally being sucked out of my head, because what I had remembered earlier in the day were gone later on as I continued to dwell on what exactly I saw.

    I do remember “out of office” notices for Hera, Artemis, and Athena, though I swear I saw Artemis come in to the room, or rather “feel” than see, like I said, I couldn’t really make direct eye contact or look at any supposed deity long enough to get a strong enough sense of what he or she truly look like, I just automatically averted my eyes, and knew who they were.

    The most powerful recollection I have is that of Eris, actually, who was sitting on the desk in a cubicle that wasn’t hers with a male deity that I recognized as Dionysus, but completely different than what he looked like a year ago. Eris was speaking in a tongue I sure as hell couldn’t understand, and probably on purpose, but whatever she was saying was making Dionysus laugh as she polished his fingernails and applied henna very poorly to both her arms and his. Looking back on this I find it rather fitting, but at the time, I was truly confused.

    I walked away again, and ran back into Poseidon, who said goodbye to me, which seemed weird, so I turned back to the apparent henna party cube where Eris continued with her fun.

    I blatantly remember opening my mouth and going, “You know, that really doesn’t look that good, you’d think a goddess could do a better job.”

    To which she replied with a laugh, and pointed to her head and Dionysus and made them both fiery red heads, like an unnatural Ariel mermaid red. They both laughed, and I joined them, because well, it was just perfectly absurd.

    And then Dionysus went, “You need to go now. Bye!”

    And I woke up. K

    So yeah, that STARTED my week, where did it end?

    Tuesday at work we were surrounded by picketers from the local union who were protesting the fact that the contractors working on the building weren’t certified, and that because it was a historical building, that they should be working on it and not cheap private companies. I felt bad for the guys, since they were unemployed, and brought them coffee.

    So then I go inside and find out that the sous chef walked out because the owner threw his pay at him, so the other server would be needed in the kitchen after we ALL prepped and waited for the head chef, who came in bitchy as all hell that he had to wake up before noon.

    Okay fine, I can handle the whole restaurant myself for the most part, and I was doing fairly well when the Canadians came in.

    For those that have ever waited tables in the US, you know that Canadians are the bane of your existence. I have yet to have a Canadian table not complain about anything or give me more than 10% while bickering in their funny Canuckistani accents. This one started because we didn’t have a kids menu, then she bitched that we should lower our prices because of the economy. (First warning sign: Canadians love getting shit for free or cheaper, like they deserve a discount for setting foot in our country or something.)

    So the meal goes on, they bitch about everything, and they leave me 11%. I was thrilled.

    So after work we go down to heavy list fighting practice in which my boyfriend has to fight my ex-husband for his first armored fight ever. Because the day couldn’t get anymore weird.

    Wednesday starts with a similar feeling with the picketers continuing their battle, so I bring them coffee, and get yelled at by one of the building owners about how I shouldn’t support them if I still want a place to work and that if the, and I quote “spic in the kitchen comes out here with snacks for them again, that he’s going to report him to INS.” (Jerry is from Guatamala, but I’ve seen his green card and drivers license, he’s 100% legit.)

    I was like, “Um, no. They have a constitutional right to be here, they aren’t hurting anything, and if my boss says it’s cool to give them a pot of coffee. I will. Also, cool it with the racial slurs, because it’s extremely unprofessional, just an FYI.” And go back inside to find the sous chef who walked out back in the kitchen working.

    The day goes on, I make like no money, and go home.

    Thursday I come into work to find a new fandangled fence surrounding the building and parking lot, put in place by the douchebag owners to keep the picketers out. It also keeps customers out, which, you know, could also be a plan, but that’s an entirely different story all together.

    As I’m setting up the dining room, a bad car accident happens out front in a very weird place to have one. Apparently this yuppie ran a red light and got T-Boned by some college kids coming down the hill who didn’t see him (probably because of the FUCKING FENCE AND SCAFFOLDING) in enough time to brake. Now, the damage done to the yuppie’s car was relatively minimal, but the driver’s side door was bashed in bad enough to not be opened.

    Sure enough, here comes RISD/Brown public safety (closest PD) and some Providence PD bike cops to assess the scene. Meanwhile, the two kids who hit the suit were out of their car, the driver was obviously crying and upset, not sure exact what he should do as he talked on the phone. Naturally, they were about to get screwed.

    I watched the fire department show up and cut the yuppie out of his car with the jaws of life as the EMT held his neck stable until they could get a brace on it. So that once the door was off the yuppie could naturally STAND ON HIS OWN POWER AND SIT BACK ON THE STRETCHER.

    For some reason this made me incredibly angry, because I knew those kids were going to get screwed unless the camera caught the fucker running the red, and even then, money talks in this city, and a couple of college kids don’t have any.

    So the whole day, I just felt mad. Like wanting to kill everyone who came into the restaurant mad, and considering I had one whole table before my cut, I didn’t get too far.

    Friday! YAY! You would think that Fridays would be busier, and typically sometimes maybe they are. Maybe. Or not. I had two tables and went home, but not after the power washing around the building decided to breach the 215-year-old window frames and cause slight flooding. In fact, while sitting at the bar waiting for my ride, the bartender and I were taking bets on how long it would be before one of the glass panes just gave and water would just spew in without the construction workers caring (much like what happened in the kitchen a few weeks ago.)

    The anger continued and peaked last night when my grandmother angrily called me about the status of my student loans. Hey, if I’m making only a handful of dollars a day, then how the hell can I afford to pay those, let alone my rent. So, as she went on and on and threatened suicide, I snapped and yelled at her, and even told her that if she told my dad that I yelled at her, I wouldn’t care, because she wasn’t listening to me and was doing nothing but make the matters worse. This rage also resulted in me telling General Stuart to fuck off and hiding in his car to avoid having the cops called on me since I was outside yelling the whole time. It was a powerful anger that seemed almost therapeutic, until I started crying and had a minor asthma attack with chest pains associated with it.

    So after almost calming down and wrapping up my cold dinner, I pondered if the bottling up and releasing of that much emotion is really worth it. If it forced Roger to have heart attacks, what is it going to do to me in the long run when I’m already having chest pains and adverse health effects when I’m relatively healthy and half his age? Was I just taught a lesson?

    All right, I get it, gods, I need a new job and I need to GTFO…Or you can help me win Powerball. That would be nice too.

    Today is Saturday, I have $10 to my name, and I’m supposed to go out with my best friend and then go to some rager party later…in nasty stormy weather. Let’s see what the day is going to bring.


    2009-08-29 08:30:37 LINK: The Week Eris Had Lunch at My Restaurant, boardID=9

  • Jenne

    Re: Hey, LMNO...

    : LMNO  
    Hush, my darlings.  We can see you are upset, and that's ok.  But you know too much stress is bad for you.  Our doctors said so, just the other day.

    So sit down, and try to calm down.  It won't help matters any if you get yourself all riled up, will it?  Shhh.  Relax.  We'll take care of everything.  Just sit right there, close your eyes, and breathe deeply.  That's right.  Let us help you.  We know how upsetting life can be, and we're here to help.  We can get you through your day with a minimum of fuss.  Just leave it to us.

    Can we get you a drink?  Sure, you just stay there, and we'll be right back.  Feel free to watch the TV if you'd like.  We always keep it on, for background ambience if you will.  Yes, that's one of our favorites, too.  Here we are.  No, don't get up.  Just sit there, take your shoes off, and forget about the troubles of your day.

    We know, life can be so unfair.  Let us help you forget all that.  We can show you fabulous things, right in your own home; brightly colored, flashy things, you take your mind off of your difficult and painful day.  We don't want you to hurt anymore.  Not now.  Now is you time, time to loosen that tie, maybe even unbutton your pants, perhaps even-- well, we promise to look away if The Girls Next Door becomes too exciting.

    See, don't you feel better already?  It's as if the day never happened at all.  And with our help, you can experience the best, most glamorous parts of life without ever leaving your comfortable, soft couch.  Shhh.  Relax, my darlings.  Let the empty glass slip from your fingers.  Let us tuck you in...




































    WAKE UP.  BACK TO WORK.  YOU WILL BE LATE.

    See you when you get home, my darling.

    :mittens:  Reminds me of the "Who Are We" bit.

    2009-09-29 09:12:15 LINK: Re: Hey, LMNO..., boardID=2

  • Kai

    Re: Hey, LMNO...

    : Jenne  
    : LMNO  
    Hush, my darlings.  We can see you are upset, and that's ok.  But you know too much stress is bad for you.  Our doctors said so, just the other day.

    So sit down, and try to calm down.  It won't help matters any if you get yourself all riled up, will it?  Shhh.  Relax.  We'll take care of everything.  Just sit right there, close your eyes, and breathe deeply.  That's right.  Let us help you.  We know how upsetting life can be, and we're here to help.  We can get you through your day with a minimum of fuss.  Just leave it to us.

    Can we get you a drink?  Sure, you just stay there, and we'll be right back.  Feel free to watch the TV if you'd like.  We always keep it on, for background ambience if you will.  Yes, that's one of our favorites, too.  Here we are.  No, don't get up.  Just sit there, take your shoes off, and forget about the troubles of your day.

    We know, life can be so unfair.  Let us help you forget all that.  We can show you fabulous things, right in your own home; brightly colored, flashy things, you take your mind off of your difficult and painful day.  We don't want you to hurt anymore.  Not now.  Now is you time, time to loosen that tie, maybe even unbutton your pants, perhaps even-- well, we promise to look away if The Girls Next Door becomes too exciting.

    See, don't you feel better already?  It's as if the day never happened at all.  And with our help, you can experience the best, most glamorous parts of life without ever leaving your comfortable, soft couch.  Shhh.  Relax, my darlings.  Let the empty glass slip from your fingers.  Let us tuck you in...




































    WAKE UP.  BACK TO WORK.  YOU WILL BE LATE.

    See you when you get home, my darling.

    :mittens:  Reminds me of the "Who Are We" bit.

    Who are we? We're the Happy People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the first strike nuclear capability to incinerate people. Think its a flash in the pan?


    I forget the rest.

    2009-09-30 04:58:43 LINK: Re: Hey, LMNO..., boardID=2

  • Havok

    Re: Artificial Black Holes, and crazy amounts of renewable energy

    : Triple Zero  
    : Rumckle  
    Plus the paper noted that you didn't have to feed them stuff, only if you want to increase their lifetimes.

    Yeah but why does it have to be virgins? it always has to be virgins.

    And don't get me started on what happens when you feed them after midnight...
    We must appease it. If it says it prefers virginal atomic matter, then who are we to argue?

    2009-11-07 01:22:09 LINK: Re: Artificial Black Holes, and crazy amounts of renewable energy, boardID=23

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: StFu!

    : KopyKat253  
    Just so that everyone know that I really am that retarded.

     :wink:

    "No! Your doing it wrong anyway."
    "No, You're doing it wrong."
    "No! you shut up!"


         Just watch your box, there is nothing better. It keeps you safe and warm and smug. As long as it's around you know you will feel better. There is death in the box, you're not surprised. As far as you know, that is what it's for. Death in the news, Death in the weather. Is that a peaceful protest? Oh wait, there goes the gas. Pouring from the box, it fuels your rage and warms your soul. Why try to change anything? Why combat the Natural order? Are you too afraid to fend for yourself?
         You start your day as every other, through the same doors that you have always been pushed through. Where does it end, or when? Why can't you just take another doorway, another path? They don't care, they just push you through. You're just a means to what they think is the end. Another ten years, another bomb. The raise and fall of computers will doom us all. Now it seems the planet itself wants to finally be rid of us, who knew? Just let them lead, it's better that way. Casually stroll from door to shiny door. Ignore the dark pathways, follow us to the light! You don't want to be alone in the dark do you?
         It keeps you safe, how could you hate it? Oh look, more death in the box. No wait, Is that the window? Don't be afraid just ring your bell. They will be right there to clean up the mess. Who are they that make this world so much better? So comfortable in this quilt, these patters so pretty. But who are they? They think like you do, so you like them. They don't like them? Great, neither do you! They think it's great to think independently, but who wants to say, "your right"? Maybe you are, but nobody wants to hear it. It's just so damn contrary to what they think, so lets just burn it. Stop that refractories foul mouth, we wouldn't want anyone to believe it. Keep them blind, deaf and dumb. Then no one can think it.

    Careful, don't let them know you know, or they'll tell your children about the deficit, and then your kids will beat you when you're elderly.  And there is no death in the box, just shiny happy pictures of how life can be, if you just do as they say, and if you do it right.  The box USED to have dangerous badwrong things like MASH and that Curly guy, but they've fixed that now, and the only thing left is happiness. 

    And, when you think about it, what has thinking ever gotten you?  Nightmares and nervous thoughts and worry.  So stop.  Just relax, and watch the box, and it will help you forget that you're mortgage is upside down, your account is empty, and your credit card will actually explode if you try to use it.  But don't think about that.  Think about how Your Side won/lost the last election, and how it's changed your life.  Think about the newest Special Report that will tell you what to be careful about.  Think about American Idol, and how that will be YOU one day, no really, and don't worry about HOW, just watch and learn.

    What you should NOT do is pay attention to your kids.  They will never know that you were cool once, before you had them, and they wouldn't care if they knew.  No, they just know that you're old and fat and boring, and they can see you sweat as you ponder your degree of brain-wrenching debt...but don't worry, the future holds for them the same horrors it held for you, and you can take comfort in the fact that the ungrateful little bastards won't see it coming any more than you did.

    Now get back to work.  They have a new wall screen TV, and you'd better get that fucker quick.  Easy terms.  Apply now.

    Who are we?

    2009-11-13 17:15:19 LINK: Re: StFu!, boardID=2

  • triple zero

    Re: StFu!

    : The Good Reverend Roger  
    Now get back to work.  They have a new wall screen TV, and you'd better get that fucker quick.  Easy terms.  Apply now.

    Who are we?

    We're the robot people. Functional and efficient people. Square peg people fitting in square holes. Snug right in, frictionless and with no hassle. Predictable, likeable people. You want to be likeable, don't you? We are dependable, you know exactly what you can expect. If you expect the right thing. No surprises. People that just do their thing. Your thing. Our thing. Their thing. We do exactly what they need us to do. Because nothing less is enough and neither is anything more. What we do is what you get. Who are we?

    2009-11-14 03:20:30 LINK: Re: StFu!, boardID=2

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: StFu!

    : Triple Zero  
    : The Good Reverend Roger  
    Now get back to work.  They have a new wall screen TV, and you'd better get that fucker quick.  Easy terms.  Apply now.

    Who are we?

    We're the robot people. Functional and efficient people. Square peg people fitting in square holes. Snug right in, frictionless and with no hassle. Predictable, likeable people. You want to be likeable, don't you? We are dependable, you know exactly what you can expect. If you expect the right thing. No surprises. People that just do their thing. Your thing. Our thing. Their thing. We do exactly what they need us to do. Because nothing less is enough and neither is anything more. What we do is what you get. Who are we?


    It's no use, Trip.  I riffed on his thread, and he used it as a means to deliver more insults.

    He's fucking useless.  I'm writing him off.

    2009-11-15 11:24:28 LINK: Re: StFu!, boardID=2

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Richter, are you ready for The Finals™?

    : Kai  
    : The Good Reverend Roger  
    Fuck yes, Kai.  But they won't listen.  They can't.  They've been conditioned, so have we, but something went wrong with us, and it didn't take.  I mean, it's not economical to hunt down every deviant and hammer them into holes, right?  Besides, we make great headlines, occasionally.

    Anyway, they CAN'T listen, and they hate you for the fact that you can.  But they're afraid of you, too...never forget that.  They FEAR you because you aren't doing what you're supposed to be doing, and that upsets them on a level that they can't properly analyze.  They were conditioned to ignore the giant elephant in the living room, but they just aren't prepared for the screaming fucking ape in the kitchen.

    We are that ape, Kai, and they fear us.  Perhaps it's time to remind them WHY they do.

    It doesn't matter that they don't listen, Roger. If they want to waste the precious life they have I can't do anything about that. But they should fear me, oh yes, because I do, my thoughts, my words and actions, they threaten the human world views. They are little and I am BIG. They could be big too if they wanted, but they are so afraid, so very afraid of loosing it and getting IT, because IT is different, and the world views can't abide different.

    Yes, it's too much trouble to be a biped, what with the bills and the traffic and who's minding the fort and what about Little Billy, who's gonna take care of Little Billy while we're out learning how to walk on our hind legs?  Think of the Children™, Kai.  This irresponsible "freedom" you claim to enjoy is only going to set the little darlings up for disappointment when they fail.  That's why we don't bother with achievement anymore, we just tell them that they're special and that self-esteem is given, not earned.  We're all unique in the very same way.

    Who are we?

    2009-11-17 13:34:03 LINK: Re: Richter, are you ready for The Finals™?, boardID=2

  • themeninss

    Re: Richter, are you ready for The Finals™?

    : The Good Reverend Roger  
    Who are we?
    nobody if we don't be anyone.

    2009-11-17 13:39:40 LINK: Re: Richter, are you ready for The Finals™?, boardID=2

  • Erin Gardien

    Re: Richter, are you ready for The Finals™?

    : The Good Reverend Roger  
    : Kai  
    : The Good Reverend Roger  
    Fuck yes, Kai.  But they won't listen.  They can't.  They've been conditioned, so have we, but something went wrong with us, and it didn't take.  I mean, it's not economical to hunt down every deviant and hammer them into holes, right?  Besides, we make great headlines, occasionally.

    Anyway, they CAN'T listen, and they hate you for the fact that you can.  But they're afraid of you, too...never forget that.  They FEAR you because you aren't doing what you're supposed to be doing, and that upsets them on a level that they can't properly analyze.  They were conditioned to ignore the giant elephant in the living room, but they just aren't prepared for the screaming fucking ape in the kitchen.

    We are that ape, Kai, and they fear us.  Perhaps it's time to remind them WHY they do.

    It doesn't matter that they don't listen, Roger. If they want to waste the precious life they have I can't do anything about that. But they should fear me, oh yes, because I do, my thoughts, my words and actions, they threaten the human world views. They are little and I am BIG. They could be big too if they wanted, but they are so afraid, so very afraid of loosing it and getting IT, because IT is different, and the world views can't abide different.

    Yes, it's too much trouble to be a biped, what with the bills and the traffic and who's minding the fort and what about Little Billy, who's gonna take care of Little Billy while we're out learning how to walk on our hind legs?  Think of the Children™, Kai.  This irresponsible "freedom" you claim to enjoy is only going to set the little darlings up for disappointment when they fail.  That's why we don't bother with achievement anymore, we just tell them that they're special and that self-esteem is given, not earned.  We're all unique in the very same way.

    Who are we?

    I couldn't tell you who "we" are -- but I can tell you that if I'm a part of any "we," that "we" is not part of them. "Them" is the little bastards eating TV dinners and TV philosophy and TV politics in little trays, free refills included -- sometimes. LED indicators lighting up a cheery green every time they tune in to the latest ghost-man on the television screen, offering spectres of a reality sort of like what everyone lives in but with a few subtle differences. And these people are in a way, miraculous -- they can make that reality into their reality. A rose-tinted transparency on the overhead projector of Everything.

    I'm not one of them, Roger. If there is a "we", if there can be a "we", that "we" is not with them.

    2009-11-17 13:40:38 LINK: Re: Richter, are you ready for The Finals™?, boardID=2

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Richter, are you ready for The Finals™?

    : null & void  
    I couldn't tell you who "we" are -- but I can tell you that if I'm a part of any "we," that "we" is not part of them. "Them" is the little bastards eating TV dinners and TV philosophy and TV politics in little trays, free refills included -- sometimes. LED indicators lighting up a cheery green every time they tune in to the latest ghost-man on the television screen, offering spectres of a reality sort of like what everyone lives in but with a few subtle differences. And these people are in a way, miraculous -- they can make that reality into their reality. A rose-tinted transparency on the overhead projector of Everything.

    I'm not one of them, Roger. If there is a "we", if there can be a "we", that "we" is not with them.

    We're the people people.  We're almost like you, but not quite as real.  We make the things that make YOU real.  Like reality television.  Like the finest, newest, whitest supermodels.  Like the newest rap artist, you have to like them, MTV even said so.  Speaking of that, we're the people who brought you TRL.  Nice.  Short.  Interrupted by enthusiastic young pretty people who are just gushing with joy over the 30 seconds of video clip we give you.  We're the people that bring you special reports that tell you what to be really careful about.  We're the smiling face telling you all about the newest pill.  Have you heard about it?  It's purple.

    Who are we?

    2009-11-17 13:44:58 LINK: Re: Richter, are you ready for The Finals™?, boardID=2

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Richter, are you ready for The Finals™?

    : null & void  
    That "we" is The People behind "them". The People who made a few trillion artificial suns so we'd never have to see the real thing, and The People who made telepathy machines so we'd never have to meet each other, just have to put those banana-shaped sensors next to our heads. It made things easier for everyone, and it made it easier to fall into the trap of "them". Then Those People made the pundits, the talking heads, the ghost-men with their verbal snake oil. And it's all a trap, you know, because all of it leads right into the cogs you are, no doubt, all too aware of. Those cogs with teeth like mountains and a slow, unhesitating pace. It's important to Those People that things keep going into the cogs, because it keeps them running smoothly. And Those People know that if Cog #594390 ever clicked so much as a nanosecond out of line with Sprocket #57823, it would mean certain d00m.

    Don't think about that, citizen.  We have many bright things for you to look at, and many fun diversions for you.  A great deal of effort has been expended to give you what you want, and at rock-bottom prices, we might add.  It simply wouldn't do to be so ungrateful as to refuse these shiny, wonderful things, would it?  No, that sort of behavior is exhibited by badwrong people who don't want nice things.  You've seen them, those people walking.  Living under bridges, panhandling because they didn't want what we have to offer.  Empty people.  Smudgy people.  People from unfurnished countries.  We're against them that.

    Who are we?

    2009-11-17 13:57:52 LINK: Re: Richter, are you ready for The Finals™?, boardID=2

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Yeah, LMNO, so this Patrick Henry freak...

    : Mistress Freeky  
    Edit: I should probably say that the reason I think it would work is because I AM a sheep, and it would work on me cuz it's about emulating something already been done on TV, and I don't want to be one of THEM, and would probably never ask who they are.

    They are the ones that own and operate the dark satanic mills that manufacture hell on Earth.  They are the pill-pushers, the demagogues that call themselves journalists, the mean cop, the office Nazi, the neighbor that leaves your party early so they can call the police about the noise.  They are Freedom™.  They are terrorists under the bed, hair-shirt punishment freaks, the occupants of the "amen pew", the jackass that didn't let you into traffic on purpose, the gun-grabbers, the ones who do it "for the children", the soccer mom who screams for us to drop bombs on someone else's kids.

    Who are we?

    2009-11-20 09:45:08 LINK: Re: Yeah, LMNO, so this Patrick Henry freak..., boardID=2

  • Mistress Freeky

    Re: Yeah, LMNO, so this Patrick Henry freak...

    : The Good Reverend Roger  
    They are the ones that own and operate the dark satanic mills that manufacture hell on Earth.  They are the pill-pushers, the demagogues that call themselves journalists, the mean cop, the office Nazi, the neighbor that leaves your party early so they can call the police about the noise.  They are Freedom™.  They are terrorists under the bed, hair-shirt punishment freaks, the occupants of the "amen pew", the jackass that didn't let you into traffic on purpose, the gun-grabbers, the ones who do it "for the children", the soccer mom who screams for us to drop bombs on someone else's kids.

    Who are we?
    Sheep don't ask that question either, as long as the 'we' in question don't seem like they want to uproot 'normalcy' and routine.

    I, however, speculate that 'we' as in the people on this board could be the equivalent of a group of wolves that are planning an attack on the shepard. Maybe. But then, I'm just a sheep who's stumbled into the crowd here, so I can't say for certain.

    2009-11-20 09:56:00 LINK: Re: Yeah, LMNO, so this Patrick Henry freak..., boardID=2

  • LMNO

    Re: Yeah, LMNO, so this Patrick Henry freak...

    : The Good Reverend Roger  
    : Mistress Freeky  
    Edit: I should probably say that the reason I think it would work is because I AM a sheep, and it would work on me cuz it's about emulating something already been done on TV, and I don't want to be one of THEM, and would probably never ask who they are.

    They are the ones that own and operate the dark satanic mills that manufacture hell on Earth.  They are the pill-pushers, the demagogues that call themselves journalists, the mean cop, the office Nazi, the neighbor that leaves your party early so they can call the police about the noise.  They are Freedom™.  They are terrorists under the bed, hair-shirt punishment freaks, the occupants of the "amen pew", the jackass that didn't let you into traffic on purpose, the gun-grabbers, the ones who do it "for the children", the soccer mom who screams for us to drop bombs on someone else's kids.

    Who are we?

    We're the control people.  The In Charge people.  The people who put Ends before Means.  The Living Large, Taking Charge people.  The people who invented phrases like "acceptable losses".  "Collateral damage".  "Mutually assured destruction". We're the requirement people.  We're the sorting process.  The ladder.  We're the big hen who pecks the smaller hen. We're the smaller hen, looking for something to peck.  We're the Conditional Charity people. The Regulatory people.  The Authority™ people.

    Who are we?

    2009-11-20 10:05:47 LINK: Re: Yeah, LMNO, so this Patrick Henry freak..., boardID=2

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Yeah, LMNO, so this Patrick Henry freak...

    : LMNO  
    : The Good Reverend Roger  
    : Mistress Freeky  
    Edit: I should probably say that the reason I think it would work is because I AM a sheep, and it would work on me cuz it's about emulating something already been done on TV, and I don't want to be one of THEM, and would probably never ask who they are.

    They are the ones that own and operate the dark satanic mills that manufacture hell on Earth.  They are the pill-pushers, the demagogues that call themselves journalists, the mean cop, the office Nazi, the neighbor that leaves your party early so they can call the police about the noise.  They are Freedom™.  They are terrorists under the bed, hair-shirt punishment freaks, the occupants of the "amen pew", the jackass that didn't let you into traffic on purpose, the gun-grabbers, the ones who do it "for the children", the soccer mom who screams for us to drop bombs on someone else's kids.

    Who are we?

    We're the control people.  The In Charge people.  The people who put Ends before Means.  The Living Large, Taking Charge people.  The people who invented phrases like "acceptable losses".  "Collateral damage".  "Mutually assured destruction". We're the requirement people.  We're the sorting process.  The ladder.  We're the big hen who pecks the smaller hen. We're the smaller hen, looking for something to peck.  We're the Conditional Charity people. The Regulatory people.  The Authority™ people.

    Who are we?

    We're the snarling bumper-to-bumper dog men who honk our horns in traffic jams.  We're the fat guy on a plane berating a young mother for her crying infant.  We're the jackass who puts his seat right back into your lap.  We're the crooked sheriff, the bent politician, the smarmy bureaucrat that smiles when he says "no".  We're your neighbors, your school teachers, your bus driver.

    Who are we?

    2009-11-20 10:16:29 LINK: Re: Yeah, LMNO, so this Patrick Henry freak..., boardID=2

  • LMNO

    Re: Yeah, LMNO, so this Patrick Henry freak...

    We're the Satisfied people.  The content people.  The people who see no need to go into the streets, because the couch is so comfortable.  We're the receptive people, the observers.  The people who believe what our parents, our teachers, our politicians, our priests tell us.  We're the people who do what we're told.  Who hate what we're told to hate.  We're the single-file people.  The sit up straight people. The status quo people.

    Who are we?

    2009-11-20 10:26:02 LINK: Re: Yeah, LMNO, so this Patrick Henry freak..., boardID=2

  • Ratatosk

    Re: Yeah, LMNO, so this Patrick Henry freak...

    We're the people that like to write words. We're the people that like to think a post on a forum replaces action and supporting your troops in blog comments makes you a Real American. We're the people that have abandoned the community we live in, with their different opinions, different habits, different beliefs and we've replaced it with a virtual community that is virtually us. They agree with our views and they believe in our beliefs and they support our heroes and hate our enemies. We're the future, the future of everything. Our laws WILL pass (everyone I know already supports it!), our beliefs will prevail (I haven't talked to a person in months that disagrees with that!!), our Truth is the Truth and that other virtual community over there that disagrees are virtually imbeciles.

    Who are we?

    2009-11-20 11:07:06 LINK: Re: Yeah, LMNO, so this Patrick Henry freak..., boardID=2

  • East Coast Hustle

    Re: I don't know why I just can't help myself...

    Rog, you got a link to the "who are we?" text?

    ETA: also, pretty sure we should post some of those essays over at GLP.

    2009-11-25 13:38:12 LINK: Re: I don't know why I just can't help myself..., boardID=2

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: I don't know why I just can't help myself...

    : Rip City Hustle  
    Rog, you got a link to the "who are we?" text?

    ETA: also, pretty sure we should post some of those essays over at GLP.

    Fuck yeah.

    I'll need to get to my home comp, and I'll post it here.

    It'll be pretty late tonight.

    2009-11-25 13:52:16 LINK: Re: I don't know why I just can't help myself..., boardID=2

  • Mourning Star

    Re: Radio Free Discordia

    If I recall you had the whole thing done.

    also

    all the bumpers as well as the who are we

    http://ifile.it/opm5ey3/LMNO.rar

    enjoy

    2010-01-26 10:15:40 LINK: Re: Radio Free Discordia, boardID=18

  • Professor Cramulus

    Re: APOCALYPSE PARTY: JOIN TODAY!

    so as the apocalypse party, who are we supporting?

    2010-02-02 17:09:00 LINK: Re: APOCALYPSE PARTY: JOIN TODAY!, boardID=3

  • Golden Applesauce

    Re: APOCALYPSE PARTY: JOIN TODAY!

    : Cramulus  
    so as the apocalypse party, who are we supporting?

    Roger, obviously.  Do you think we could get him to run for local office?

    2010-02-02 18:53:20 LINK: Re: APOCALYPSE PARTY: JOIN TODAY!, boardID=3

  • IasonOuabache

    Re: APOCALYPSE PARTY: JOIN TODAY!

    : Cramulus  
    so as the apocalypse party, who are we supporting?
    Rick Santorum.

    2010-02-03 09:32:59 LINK: Re: APOCALYPSE PARTY: JOIN TODAY!, boardID=3

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: APOCALYPSE PARTY: JOIN TODAY!

    : GA  
    : Cramulus  
    so as the apocalypse party, who are we supporting?

    Roger, obviously.  Do you think we could get him to run for local office?

    Not unless Palin's on the ticket.

    2010-02-03 09:36:05 LINK: Re: APOCALYPSE PARTY: JOIN TODAY!, boardID=3

  • Machine Grind Dream

    Re: APOCALYPSE PARTY: JOIN TODAY!

    : Cramulus  
    so as the apocalypse party, who are we supporting?

    Palin, of course, and maybe someone like Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh. Maybe Newt Gingrich?

    2010-02-03 11:13:08 LINK: Re: APOCALYPSE PARTY: JOIN TODAY!, boardID=3

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: APOCALYPSE PARTY: JOIN TODAY!

    : Slanket the Destroyer  
    : Cramulus  
    so as the apocalypse party, who are we supporting?

    Palin, of course, and maybe someone like Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh. Maybe Newt Gingrich?

    Scott Brown.

    2010-02-03 11:13:43 LINK: Re: APOCALYPSE PARTY: JOIN TODAY!, boardID=3

  • Professor Cramulus

    Re: Featured at 23ae

    On Thursdays, we've been publishing excerpts from the Black Iron Prison. Today's:

    Being Free

    http://23ae.com/2010/02/bip-being-free/

    And that’s exactly how We want it! Tired little sheep kept running by the faithful hounds all day long until they are too tired and submit, they break. Who are We? Nowadays, practically everyone…your boss, your leaders, the media at large, the people responsible for American Idol/X-Factor/fill-in-pointless waste of music reality-TV program here….a huge faceless confederacy constantly trying to sway you this way and that, turn you into a follower of anything.

    2010-02-04 08:12:42 LINK: Re: Featured at 23ae, boardID=1

  • Enki-][

    Re: Peedy Tarot Deck

    Alright. I'm okay with the prince of wands, then :P.

    Who are we planning to put for the lovers?

    2010-02-09 08:40:08 LINK: Re: Peedy Tarot Deck, boardID=17

  • NotPublished

    Re: End Stache Abuse: Go Straight Edge

    The team in the R&D labs have discovered some disturbing intel.

    Did you know that crimes commited were 80% more likely to be peformed by those who are WEARING a Stache? Also Stache related deaths have jumped up in the past 10 years by 458%

    You never know when it can happen to you .. You might find your Stache enjoys tormenting its host, and those that the host loves in strange and cruel ways. Staches have been known to infect others VIA rashs and the "Prickle Effect" as our Doctor Cramulus has stated, it only takes a small infection before it begins to spread.

    The team from the R&D Labs kindly ask that you shave, or brutal force will be ensured.

    Locate your nearest Medical Centre for treatment.

    We thank you very much for heading this warning.

    As a reminder - this is what happens on Stache overdose. Ask yourself - Do YOU want to be one of these people?


    2010-03-03 13:15:10 LINK: Re: End Stache Abuse: Go Straight Edge, boardID=2

  • Hawk

    Re: A few thoughts on friendship, arrogance, and assumed superiority.

    : BadBeast  

      But fuck it, some people ARE superior, I will not treat someone as an equal, if they are obviously better than I am, or in a position of Authority that I have recognised, That would be overfamilier, and a bit insulting. But the other way counts too. I am a better person than many of the people I meet. Most in fact. (Told you I was a bit arrogant)
     But to treat an inferior person as an equal, is often putting expectations on them, that are unrealistic. I wont treat someone disrespectfully because I feel I am better than them, but it does affect the way I interact with them.
    I'm not entirely blind to my own faults, they are many, and varied. And my expectations of people are not unreasonable.
    So when someone has expectations of me, that are unreasonable,  but are oblivious to flaws in their own character, or reasoning, I'll call them on it.

    (And that's why no-one likes me)

    And right here is where you lost me. Who are we to judge another person so?

    2010-05-11 15:11:11 LINK: Re: A few thoughts on friendship, arrogance, and assumed superiority., boardID=2

  • Doktor Howl

    Re: A few thoughts on friendship, arrogance, and assumed superiority.

    : Hawk  
    : BadBeast  

      But fuck it, some people ARE superior, I will not treat someone as an equal, if they are obviously better than I am, or in a position of Authority that I have recognised, That would be overfamilier, and a bit insulting. But the other way counts too. I am a better person than many of the people I meet. Most in fact. (Told you I was a bit arrogant)
     But to treat an inferior person as an equal, is often putting expectations on them, that are unrealistic. I wont treat someone disrespectfully because I feel I am better than them, but it does affect the way I interact with them.
    I'm not entirely blind to my own faults, they are many, and varied. And my expectations of people are not unreasonable.
    So when someone has expectations of me, that are unreasonable,  but are oblivious to flaws in their own character, or reasoning, I'll call them on it.

    (And that's why no-one likes me)

    And right here is where you lost me. Who are we to judge another person so?

    I am better than Edward M Liddy.  I am also superior to your garden-variety hate-spewing teabagger.  So is BadBeast.  So are you.

    2010-05-11 15:13:27 LINK: Re: A few thoughts on friendship, arrogance, and assumed superiority., boardID=2

  • Hawk

    Re: A few thoughts on friendship, arrogance, and assumed superiority.

    : Doktor Howl  
    : Hawk  
    : BadBeast  

      But fuck it, some people ARE superior, I will not treat someone as an equal, if they are obviously better than I am, or in a position of Authority that I have recognised, That would be overfamilier, and a bit insulting. But the other way counts too. I am a better person than many of the people I meet. Most in fact. (Told you I was a bit arrogant)
     But to treat an inferior person as an equal, is often putting expectations on them, that are unrealistic. I wont treat someone disrespectfully because I feel I am better than them, but it does affect the way I interact with them.
    I'm not entirely blind to my own faults, they are many, and varied. And my expectations of people are not unreasonable.
    So when someone has expectations of me, that are unreasonable,  but are oblivious to flaws in their own character, or reasoning, I'll call them on it.

    (And that's why no-one likes me)

    And right here is where you lost me. Who are we to judge another person so?

    I am better than Edward M Liddy.  I am also superior to your garden-variety hate-spewing teabagger.  So is BadBeast.  So are you.

    Maybe it's just because I have to come to expect so little out of people.

    2010-05-11 15:16:25 LINK: Re: A few thoughts on friendship, arrogance, and assumed superiority., boardID=2

  • BadBeast

    Re: A few thoughts on friendship, arrogance, and assumed superiority.

    : Hawk  
    : BadBeast  

      But fuck it, some people ARE superior, I will not treat someone as an equal, if they are obviously better than I am, or in a position of Authority that I have recognised, That would be overfamilier, and a bit insulting. But the other way counts too. I am a better person than many of the people I meet. Most in fact. (Told you I was a bit arrogant)
     But to treat an inferior person as an equal, is often putting expectations on them, that are unrealistic. I wont treat someone disrespectfully because I feel I am better than them, but it does affect the way I interact with them.
    I'm not entirely blind to my own faults, they are many, and varied. And my expectations of people are not unreasonable.
    So when someone has expectations of me, that are unreasonable,  but are oblivious to flaws in their own character, or reasoning, I'll call them on it.

    (And that's why no-one likes me)

    And right here is where you lost me. Who are we to judge another person so?

    We ALL Judge other people on what we see, or how we percieve them, it's all we have to go on, and most of us seem to pride ourselves on how "good a judge of character" we are. (Which mostly means, "I've made my mind up, and I'm sticking to it" )
    We are all Judgemental, and we are not all equal. That isn't the issue. The issue is how we treat other people, and how we act. To say that we are not all equal, is not to say that we are worth more than anyone else. Just that some of us have qualities that are not so apparent in others. And they often have qualities we may lack. The way we act, is what makes us better than someone else. For instance, I may judge someone as less worthy than myself. But I will not treat them any differently than I might treat anyone else. And the big difference is, I am prepared to be wrong in my assessment of them. And when this happens, (and it does)
    What makes me (or anyone else, for that matter) better, is that I don't resent that person for my own mistake. And so many people do.
    That is who I am, to Judge another person so.

    2010-05-11 16:22:27 LINK: Re: A few thoughts on friendship, arrogance, and assumed superiority., boardID=2

  • TSosBR!

    Re: Day of Discord : Edinburgh '10

    aye I'm a comin, train and hostel be booked.

    Also, I had a crazy idea for an uber troll, basically involves looking a bit like a tramp/art student (it comes naturally to me), and handing out weird as fuck questionnaires, with the option to fill in email addresses, with the incentive that there will be more weird "art" for them to get involved in in the future.

    It's a double win, people who are weirded out are weirded out, people who aren't are just lining themselves up for long-term trollage.

    x

    edd

    p.s.  tophats optional  ;)

    2010-05-27 16:06:02 LINK: Re: Day of Discord : Edinburgh '10, boardID=2

  • fictionpuss

    Re: E-Democracy

    : RWHN  
    Again, the very idea of the proxy vote is, pardon my bluntness, completely awful.  It does the opposite of empowering people to voice their opinion and to have their say.  It becomes ceded to an organization.  So now, not only do you have powerful corporations influencing elections, you've just given a truckload of power to non-profits and charitable organizations to influence elections.  Especially when the people they are receiving permission to be their proxy vote are desperate for basic needs.  Those people, because of education an literacy issues, can very easily be taken advantage of.  At least when they walk into a voting booth, they know they are casting their vote for their interest. 

    If only 5% are voting, we need more mobilization, more empowerment.  Your solution doesn't do that.  It invites more apathy as people can just give their vote away and let someone else do it. 

    There's two issues here - proxy voting for the 6% of people in poverty, which is my benchmark of incremental success, and proxy voting for everyone else.  There may be people who try to scam - I've already debunked that though - so I won't repeat my argument here.  But there will be trusted organisations for whom giving them your proxy will be more effective than voting D or R in an election every four years.

    For that 6% of people in poverty, the proxy vote is not ideal, but at a bare minimum it gives them something better than they have today -- do you disagree on that point?


    : RWHN  
    Forget the proxy vote.  Focus on ways to get people to express their vote for themselves.  Don't add layers and barriers, look to take layers and barriers away.  Get more poor people hooked up with absentee ballots. 

    This is a thread about whether or not E-Democracy is feasible, not whether it is better or worse than some other utopian ideal.

    If you have an implementation idea for E-Democracy which improves upon proxy voting, then I'll be all ears.


    : RWHN  
    Another point, even if you exclude lawmakers from the construct where people can change their vote at any time, you still have the issue of totally fluid laws.  That kind of fluidity is going to be just as bad for laws as it is for lawmakers.  Changes in laws should be measured and considered.  While the current system is bulky and cumbersome, it does protect against knee-jerk reactions.  While less gridlock is certainly welcome, I'm not sure the body of local law turning on a dime is something we want either.  Especially if those turns are really close together. 

    Please consider the point whereby the majority of issues would not be monolithic thousand-page reforms but minor informed tweaks.

    Yes there may be a period of chaos.  But consider this as a process, it's not like we're stuck with a single idea for a decade, unable to modify our course - if things get too chaotic - and a majority of people decide to continue, then who are we to say what is best for them? 

    If things really get chaotic though, doesn't it seem likely that we'd all just start talking about that problem and come up with a way to solve it by making things less fluid for a while?


    : Doktor Alphapance  
    How many charities would they have access to, and where would they find the charities?  Which groups would have the resources and the willingness to canvas the poorest and most remote parts of the country, looking for disenfranchised voters? 

    Chances are good that only the best-funded groups (GOP, DNC) would be able to make a comprehensive push for proxy votes.  So again, the big money status quo wins.

    If they actually improve the lot of the impoverished - great.  If they are a scam, it'll be common knowledge just by looking at their voting record, and since it's not exactly hard to change your proxy-vote, and since poor people aren't automatically stupid or unable to talk to each other, I don't see this as a looming concern.

    2010-07-22 07:40:47 LINK: Re: E-Democracy, boardID=25

  • Rev Whats His Name

    Re: E-Democracy

    : Captain Utopia  
    There's two issues here - proxy voting for the 6% of people in poverty, which is my benchmark of incremental success, and proxy voting for everyone else.  There may be people who try to scam - I've already debunked that though

    You offered a rebuttal, but you have not provided anything that I can see that would actually adequately protect against corruption.  I think you need to research that more and do some more thinking on that.  

    - so I won't repeat my argument here.  But there will be trusted organisations for whom giving them your proxy will be more effective than voting D or R in an election every four years.

    But I thought this was about local government not federal?  Which is it?  

    For that 6% of people in poverty, the proxy vote is not ideal, but at a bare minimum it gives them something better than they have today -- do you disagree on that point?

    Yes I do for all the reasons I've laid out from capacity to education.  You are adding a barrier which is the navigation of a new voting system and use of a new technology.  If you are looking to go from 5% to 6% introducing a new barrier will be counter productive.  You are better off starting a non-profit that has funding to educate and transport people to polling places.  I'd dare say you could get to 8 or 9% with that kind of initiative.  

    This is a thread about whether or not E-Democracy is feasible, not whether it is better or worse than some other utopian ideal.

    If you have an implementation idea for E-Democracy which improves upon proxy voting, then I'll be all ears.

    Define feasible.  Feasible from who's perspective?  

    Please consider the point whereby the majority of issues would not be monolithic thousand-page reforms but minor informed tweaks.

    Yes there may be a period of chaos.  But consider this as a process, it's not like we're stuck with a single idea for a decade, unable to modify our course - if things get too chaotic - and a majority of people decide to continue, then who are we to say what is best for them? 

    If things really get chaotic though, doesn't it seem likely that we'd all just start talking about that problem and come up with a way to solve it by making things less fluid for a while?

    Okay, so Town X passes a law to require your headlights must be on when you use your windshield wipers.  Two months later,there is a movement to overturn this because people find it inconvenient to have to remember that, so the law is overturned.  3 days later, there is a horrific pile-up because someone didn't see another car coming because it was drizzly and they didn't have headlights on.  A new movement reinstates that headlight law.  So, within a few months you've had the law change 3 times.  

    Do you think the citizenry is going to be able to keep up with all of this.  What about law enforcement officials who need to keep track of all these changes and adjust training curriculum and enforcement activities with each change?  

    2010-07-22 08:19:33 LINK: Re: E-Democracy, boardID=25

  • fictionpuss

    Re: E-Democracy

    : RWHN  
    : Captain Utopia  
    There's two issues here - proxy voting for the 6% of people in poverty, which is my benchmark of incremental success, and proxy voting for everyone else.  There may be people who try to scam - I've already debunked that though

    You offered a rebuttal, but you have not provided anything that I can see that would actually adequately protect against corruption.  I think you need to research that more and do some more thinking on that.  

    Well can you tell me why you think the I am wrong to suggest that corruption would be limited, referencing what I wrote rather than relying on generalities?


    : RWHN  
    - so I won't repeat my argument here.  But there will be trusted organisations for whom giving them your proxy will be more effective than voting D or R in an election every four years.

    But I thought this was about local government not federal?  Which is it?  

    I'm a Brit living in Canada, I've spent less than 72 hours in the US - so forgive my ignorance - but thought that even local officials were affiliated with the major parties?


    : RWHN  
    For that 6% of people in poverty, the proxy vote is not ideal, but at a bare minimum it gives them something better than they have today -- do you disagree on that point?

    Yes I do for all the reasons I've laid out from capacity to education.  You are adding a barrier which is the navigation of a new voting system and use of a new technology.  If you are looking to go from 5% to 6% introducing a new barrier will be counter productive.  You are better off starting a non-profit that has funding to educate and transport people to polling places.  I'd dare say you could get to 8 or 9% with that kind of initiative.  

    Please explain why what I describe is worse than what they have now.  Today.  Not if I try another scheme other than the one I'm proposing.


    : RWHN  
    This is a thread about whether or not E-Democracy is feasible, not whether it is better or worse than some other utopian ideal.

    If you have an implementation idea for E-Democracy which improves upon proxy voting, then I'll be all ears.

    Define feasible.  Feasible from who's perspective?  

    Feasible from the perspective of, does it have great gaping holes which mean it'd never work or not.  Not, would some other non-profit plan help some segment of the population better.


    : RWHN  
    Please consider the point whereby the majority of issues would not be monolithic thousand-page reforms but minor informed tweaks.

    Yes there may be a period of chaos.  But consider this as a process, it's not like we're stuck with a single idea for a decade, unable to modify our course - if things get too chaotic - and a majority of people decide to continue, then who are we to say what is best for them? 

    If things really get chaotic though, doesn't it seem likely that we'd all just start talking about that problem and come up with a way to solve it by making things less fluid for a while?

    Okay, so Town X passes a law to require your headlights must be on when you use your windshield wipers.  Two months later,there is a movement to overturn this because people find it inconvenient to have to remember that, so the law is overturned.  3 days later, there is a horrific pile-up because someone didn't see another car coming because it was drizzly and they didn't have headlights on.  A new movement reinstates that headlight law.  So, within a few months you've had the law change 3 times.  

    Do you think the citizenry is going to be able to keep up with all of this.  What about law enforcement officials who need to keep track of all these changes and adjust training curriculum and enforcement activities with each change?  

    This is the best question I've seen so far in this thread.  I'm going to mull it over, okay?  (I'm not glossing over or ignoring it)

    2010-07-22 15:32:48 LINK: Re: E-Democracy, boardID=25

  • fictionpuss

    Re: E-Democracy

    : RWHN  
    : Captain Utopia  
    Please consider the point whereby the majority of issues would not be monolithic thousand-page reforms but minor informed tweaks.

    Yes there may be a period of chaos.  But consider this as a process, it's not like we're stuck with a single idea for a decade, unable to modify our course - if things get too chaotic - and a majority of people decide to continue, then who are we to say what is best for them? 

    If things really get chaotic though, doesn't it seem likely that we'd all just start talking about that problem and come up with a way to solve it by making things less fluid for a while?

    Okay, so Town X passes a law to require your headlights must be on when you use your windshield wipers.  Two months later,there is a movement to overturn this because people find it inconvenient to have to remember that, so the law is overturned.  3 days later, there is a horrific pile-up because someone didn't see another car coming because it was drizzly and they didn't have headlights on.  A new movement reinstates that headlight law.  So, within a few months you've had the law change 3 times.  

    Do you think the citizenry is going to be able to keep up with all of this.  What about law enforcement officials who need to keep track of all these changes and adjust training curriculum and enforcement activities with each change?  

    So how about this instead -- each resolution needs to include a realistic plan for its implementation.  By realistic I mean, if your plan involves changing regulations which law enforcement needs to train itself for and uphold, then you don't write into law that the regulation will be enforced tomorrow.  Instead you solicit/accept input from the relevant stakeholders.  If you need 21 days to retrain officers and advertise the change to the population, then you add that to the resolution.

    Key to the e-dem concept is that I could vote one way on an issue today, talk with a friend tonight, and change my vote - while the vote remains open.  But once an issue has been decided/closed, a vote placed in that cannot be changed.  A separate issue would be required to repeal, and it would also require its own implementation plan.

    In the case of the Army and DADT, a populace may decide to call the bluff, and disregard the input from the stakeholders.  I do have faith that if something like that turned out to be the wrong decision, then it would reduce the likelihood of similar mistakes happening in the future.

    2010-07-23 11:29:21 LINK: Re: E-Democracy, boardID=25

  • Rev Whats His Name

    Re: E-Democracy

    : Captain Utopia  
    : RWHN  
    : Captain Utopia  
    Please consider the point whereby the majority of issues would not be monolithic thousand-page reforms but minor informed tweaks.

    Yes there may be a period of chaos.  But consider this as a process, it's not like we're stuck with a single idea for a decade, unable to modify our course - if things get too chaotic - and a majority of people decide to continue, then who are we to say what is best for them? 

    If things really get chaotic though, doesn't it seem likely that we'd all just start talking about that problem and come up with a way to solve it by making things less fluid for a while?

    Okay, so Town X passes a law to require your headlights must be on when you use your windshield wipers.  Two months later,there is a movement to overturn this because people find it inconvenient to have to remember that, so the law is overturned.  3 days later, there is a horrific pile-up because someone didn't see another car coming because it was drizzly and they didn't have headlights on.  A new movement reinstates that headlight law.  So, within a few months you've had the law change 3 times.  

    Do you think the citizenry is going to be able to keep up with all of this.  What about law enforcement officials who need to keep track of all these changes and adjust training curriculum and enforcement activities with each change?  

    So how about this instead -- each resolution needs to include a realistic plan for its implementation.  By realistic I mean, if your plan involves changing regulations which law enforcement needs to train itself for and uphold, then you don't write into law that the regulation will be enforced tomorrow.  Instead you solicit/accept input from the relevant stakeholders.  If you need 21 days to retrain officers and advertise the change to the population, then you add that to the resolution.

    You'll need far more than 21 days.  The Arizona immigration will be going into law next Thursday and it was passed by the legislature months ago.  It takes a long time to get these things into place.  It will take 21 days just to make all of the phone calls to organize the trainings.  This is what I'm talking about with the excessive fluidity of your model.  

    Key to the e-dem concept is that I could vote one way on an issue today, talk with a friend tonight, and change my vote - while the vote remains open.  But once an issue has been decided/closed, a vote placed in that cannot be changed.  A separate issue would be required to repeal, and it would also require its own implementation plan.

    I see no benefit in this whatsoever.  The way it currently works now is that the citizenry already knows what questions are coming up for referendum way in advance of the actual election.  Citizens have ample time to talk to their friends, do research, and come to a firm conclusion of where they stand on the issue.  Then they cast their vote.  What's wrong with that?  

    And we already have a system in place where a separate issue can be put on the table to repeal.  It happens here in Maine all the time.  One year a referendum will pass to legalize X.  Citizens gather signatures to put a question on the next ballot to repeal that.  This can happen on an annual basis already.  And honestly I think that is fucked up.  Your system seems like it would amp that up and make it happen even faster.  That fluidity in the law will put a lot of stress on the community.  

    In the case of the Army and DADT, a populace may decide to call the bluff, and disregard the input from the stakeholders.  I do have faith that if something like that turned out to be the wrong decision, then it would reduce the likelihood of similar mistakes happening in the future.

    Wrong according to who?  Mistakes according to who?  You seem to have an assumption in your model that there will be this kumbaya rationality amongst the e-democracy participants.  Maybe that works in a little WOW group playing e-democracy.  But if you expand it to a community, a society, a populace, that shit goes out the window right fast.  It's mob rule.  

    2010-07-23 12:13:42 LINK: Re: E-Democracy, boardID=25

  • fictionpuss

    Re: E-Democracy

    : RWHN  
    : Captain Utopia  
    : RWHN  
    : Captain Utopia  
    Please consider the point whereby the majority of issues would not be monolithic thousand-page reforms but minor informed tweaks.

    Yes there may be a period of chaos.  But consider this as a process, it's not like we're stuck with a single idea for a decade, unable to modify our course - if things get too chaotic - and a majority of people decide to continue, then who are we to say what is best for them? 

    If things really get chaotic though, doesn't it seem likely that we'd all just start talking about that problem and come up with a way to solve it by making things less fluid for a while?

    Okay, so Town X passes a law to require your headlights must be on when you use your windshield wipers.  Two months later,there is a movement to overturn this because people find it inconvenient to have to remember that, so the law is overturned.  3 days later, there is a horrific pile-up because someone didn't see another car coming because it was drizzly and they didn't have headlights on.  A new movement reinstates that headlight law.  So, within a few months you've had the law change 3 times.  

    Do you think the citizenry is going to be able to keep up with all of this.  What about law enforcement officials who need to keep track of all these changes and adjust training curriculum and enforcement activities with each change?  

    So how about this instead -- each resolution needs to include a realistic plan for its implementation.  By realistic I mean, if your plan involves changing regulations which law enforcement needs to train itself for and uphold, then you don't write into law that the regulation will be enforced tomorrow.  Instead you solicit/accept input from the relevant stakeholders.  If you need 21 days to retrain officers and advertise the change to the population, then you add that to the resolution.

    You'll need far more than 21 days.  The Arizona immigration will be going into law next Thursday and it was passed by the legislature months ago.  It takes a long time to get these things into place.  It will take 21 days just to make all of the phone calls to organize the trainings.  This is what I'm talking about with the excessive fluidity of your model.  

    Okay great - in the proxy vote model, having just demonstrated a greater knowledge, you'd now be my proxy for deciding on implementation timelines.

    21 days was just a number I pulled out of my ass, it's not relevant to whether or not the model could work if correct implementation times were given.


    : RWHN  
    Key to the e-dem concept is that I could vote one way on an issue today, talk with a friend tonight, and change my vote - while the vote remains open.  But once an issue has been decided/closed, a vote placed in that cannot be changed.  A separate issue would be required to repeal, and it would also require its own implementation plan.

    I see no benefit in this whatsoever.  The way it currently works now is that the citizenry already knows what questions are coming up for referendum way in advance of the actual election.  Citizens have ample time to talk to their friends, do research, and come to a firm conclusion of where they stand on the issue.  Then they cast their vote.  What's wrong with that?  

    It limits the amount of referendum issues a population can consider in a given time period.  I don't see a good reason for an artificial limitation.

    With an open voting window where you can see how an issue is progressing, if a pet issue isn't faring so well then you have an additional motivation to discuss and promote it.  Perhaps you aren't as informed as you think on your pet issue, and maybe discussion leads to you changing your own mind.  And maybe not, increasing the amount of discussion sounds like a good thing to me though.


    : RWHN  
    And we already have a system in place where a separate issue can be put on the table to repeal.  It happens here in Maine all the time.  One year a referendum will pass to legalize X.  Citizens gather signatures to put a question on the next ballot to repeal that.  This can happen on an annual basis already.  And honestly I think that is fucked up.  Your system seems like it would amp that up and make it happen even faster.  That fluidity in the law will put a lot of stress on the community.  

    Isn't it better to resolve the argument in a few months, then over a few years?


    : RWHN  
    In the case of the Army and DADT, a populace may decide to call the bluff, and disregard the input from the stakeholders.  I do have faith that if something like that turned out to be the wrong decision, then it would reduce the likelihood of similar mistakes happening in the future.

    Wrong according to who?  Mistakes according to who?

    The majority.

    Giving more control to the populace over their own destiny, taking off training-wheels off, is the only way I see of educating the populace in the medium-long term.

    And it won't always be pretty.


    : RWHN  
    You seem to have an assumption in your model that there will be this kumbaya rationality amongst the e-democracy participants.  Maybe that works in a little WOW group playing e-democracy.  But if you expand it to a community, a society, a populace, that shit goes out the window right fast.  It's mob rule.  

    No.  But neither do I assume that all of the participants in such a system would remain static.  Attitudes will change.  Reactions and expectations will change.  People will find new ways to get the things they want in such a system.  I don't think we'll all run around like headless chickens unable to find any new answers to the problems you predict which are made all the more vivid by virtue of living through them.

    I may be incorrect in my estimations of how the motivations will play out, but until we start discussing in those terms, I don't see how we'll find any middle ground.

    2010-07-23 15:46:26 LINK: Re: E-Democracy, boardID=25

  • Thurnez Isa

    Sermon for Normals

    A Sermon for Normals

    Who Are We?


    Fear and desire are funny codependents.
    You may feel both when dealing with us, if you do indeed know it's us you're dealing with.

    You may ask yourself who are these people? Why do I feel repulsed, or attracted, or like I'm a maddening nightmare?

    Well I could safely say these things to you.

    Some of us have jobs and some are unemployed. Some of us care little for our work. Some of us care much.
    Some of us are professionals, teachers, scientists, intellectuals, neighbours, friends. All of us of students in some ways.
    You may never know if someone you've known for years is one of us. We only reveal what is needed to who it's needed to.

    We are creative. We are both rational and irrational.
    We can both support a cause and strive against it in the same breath.
    We have few binding principles.
    We accept chaos and see order for the illusion it is.
    We love hate. It feels manic.
    We love to prank and probe and take positions only a madman could take, just to understand if the position is indeed mad... or if it us that is mad.

    We live outside society definitions, but know we could never escape them.

    We love unscripted fun.
    But most of all... we love laughing... at you.

    2010-08-11 01:42:15 LINK: Sermon for Normals, boardID=9

  • Nephew Twiddleton

    Re: Notes for people wishing to visit Tucson™.

    : Doktor Howl  
    : Eater of Clowns  
    : Charley Brown  
    : Doktor Howl  
    : Eater of Clowns  
    : Doktor Howl  
    : Eater of Clowns  
    Fine, we'll all go together and encounter these problems in a series of hilarious shenanigans after which we reach our destination while having learned something valuable about ourselves.  It'll be such a delightful romp you CRANKY OLD BASTARDS.

    See, then I'd have to kill you all, and Devo II would have to remake Helter Skelter.

    Do you really want that?

    It's comments like these that make you the disgruntled but lovable mentor of our wacky gang.  Let's go get into adventures, all, and solve mysteries and such!

    Next June, yeah.  Oh, yeah.



    Arizona in JUNE????

    Pass.

    The worst part is his response doesn't hint heavily that he's excited about adventures and mysteries any more strongly than it hints at the excited prospect of throttling me to death should the opportunity arise.  :)

    Well, what it means is that I'm coming back to Providence next June, and I'm going to feed you to hipsters.  Alive.

    Who are we feeding the hipsters to?

    2010-08-11 14:21:56 LINK: Re: Notes for people wishing to visit Tucson™., boardID=2

  • Eater of Clowns

    Re: Notes for people wishing to visit Tucson™.

    : Nephew Twiddleton  

    Who are we feeding the hipsters to?

    If they're eating me, I'm not entirely certain eating them in turn would be a health conscious decision.  In fact, it might not be a good idea to do this in Rhode Island - it's a small state, they can't spare the land that just frankly won't ever be the same.

    Otherwise I have no objections to this plan.  I cannot think of a worse fate for the hipsters but for me, causing severe discomfort and potentially psychologically damaging hallucinations are pretty much exactly how I want to go out.

    2010-08-11 14:26:58 LINK: Re: Notes for people wishing to visit Tucson™., boardID=2

  • Cain

    Lets get iconoclastic

    Here I link to and quote pieces from writers I may not necessarily agree with (though I likely will, in some ways), but are nevertheless from outside the liberal/conservative mainstream, thought provoking and interesting.

    To kick us off, here is the most intelligent thing I've read on politics in the last three days, even though I disagree a lot with the characterization of McCarthy, Thatcher, Reagan et al:

    http://unqualified-reservations.blogspot.com/2008/05/ol7-ugly-truth-about-government.html

    Last week, dear open-minded progressive, we worked through a clean-room redesign of government. The result had no resemblance to present institutions - and little resemblance to past ones. Should this surprise you? Do you expect history's fruits to be sweet?

    Today we'll look at what those fruits actually are. Perhaps you didn't spend your eleventh-grade civics class hanging out behind the goalposts smoking cheeba. (If you are still in eleventh-grade civics class, it's much more exciting if you're stoned.) Perhaps you even read the Times on a regular basis. (The Times is even more awful when you're stoned.) Perhaps you assume, by default, that the vast parade of facts poured into your head by this and other such reliable sources must constitute at least a basic understanding.

    You would be incorrect in this. And we have a Mr. Machiavelli, who is to government as Isaac Newton is to physics, Barry Bonds is to baseball, and Albert Hofmann is to LSD, to tell us why:

        He who desires or attempts to reform the government of a state, and wishes to have it accepted and capable of maintaining itself to the satisfaction of everybody, must at least retain the semblance of the old forms; so that it may seem to the people that there has been no change in the institutions, even though in fact they are entirely different from the old ones. For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often even more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are.

    So, for example, the Roman Principate, and even to some extent the Dominate, preserved the forms of the old Republic. If Rome under Augustus had had a New York Times, it would have been full of the doings of the Senate and the consuls. The Senators said this. The consuls did that. When in reality, everything that mattered went through Augustus. If the entire Senate had fallen through a manhole in the Forum, nothing would have changed - except, of course, that the illusion of the Republic could no longer be maintained.

    (The Romans even had a word for a monarch - the good old Latin Rex. No Roman emperor, however dissolute, autocratic or hubristic, ever adopted the title of king. "Emperor" is simply an anglicization of Imperator, meaning "Commander" - ie, a general.)

    Often when the illusion ceases to delude anyone, it persists as a linguistic convention - especially on the tongues of officials. So in British official language one still may speak as if the Queen were the absolute personal ruler of the UK, when in fact she has no power at all. No one is confused by this. It is just a quaint turn of speech. Still, it has its effect.

    Power is a shy beast. She flees the sound of her name. When we ask who rules the UK, we are not looking for the answer, "the Queen." The Queen may rock, but everyone knows she doesn't rule. Parting this thin outer peel, we come on the word "Parliament," with which most of us are satisfied. This is your official answer. The Queen holds nominal power. Parliament holds formal power. But does this tell us where the actual power is? Why should we expect it to? Since when has it ever?

    Power has all the usual reasons to hide. Power is delicious, and everyone wants it. To bite into its crisp, sweet flesh, to lick its juices off your lips - this is more than pleasure. It is satisfaction. It is fulfillment. It is meaning. The love of a bird for a caterpillar is a tenuous and passing attachment next to the bond between man and power. Of course power, like the caterpillar, may have other defenses - poison-filled spines, and the like - but why not start with camouflage? Why look like anything more than a stick or a leaf?

    Of course, as a progressive, you have all sorts of ideas about where power is hiding. It is in the hands of the corporations, the crooked politicians, the bankers, the military, the television preachers, and so on. It would be unfair to denigrate all of these perspectives as "conspiracy theories," and it is also unfair to denigrate all conspiracy theories as false. Lenin, for instance, was a conspirator. So were Alger Hiss, Benedict Arnold, even Machiavelli himself.

    Nonetheless, the best place to hide is usually in plain sight. For example, Noam Chomsky once wrote a book called Manufacturing Consent, which argues that corporations exercise power by controlling the mass media. The phrase is borrowed from Walter Lippmann's Public Opinion - a book which every progressive will do well to read. La Wik has a fine summary:

        When properly utilized, the manufacture of consent, Lippmann argues, is useful and necessary for modern society because "the common interests"—the general concerns of all people—are not obvious in many cases and only become clear upon careful data collection and analysis, which most of the people are either uninterested in or incapable of doing. Most people, therefore, must have the world summarized for them by those who are well-informed.

        Since Lippmann includes much of the political elite within the set of those incapable of properly understanding by themselves the complex "unseen environment" in which the affairs of the modern state take place, he proposes having professionals (a "specialized class") collect and analyze data and present the conclusions to the decision makers. The decision makers then take decisions and use the "art of persuasion" to inform the public about the decisions and the circumstances surrounding them.

    Who is Lippmann's "specialized class?" Is it Chomsky's corporate CEOs? Rupert Murdoch, perhaps? Au contraire. It is folks like Lippmann himself - journalists. (Lippmann described his analysis and persuasion agency, somewhat infelicitously, as an "Intelligence Bureau.")

    Thus we have two candidates for who is "manufacturing consent." It could be the corporate executives to whom the journalists report. Or it could be the journalists themselves, in plain sight. Or, of course, both - in the true Agatha Christie style. As political detectives, we may ask: which of these parties has the means, motive, and opportunity?

    But I am getting ahead of myself. Starting from the usual first principles, we are attempting to understand our system of government. What one word, dear progressives, best describes the modern Western system of government?

    You probably said "democracy." If you got two words, you might say "representative democracy." So our progressive scratch-monkey, Mr. Stross, explains the success of democracy in terms of its supposed advantages, here. (He actually comes surprisingly close to the truth - as we'll see in a little bit.)

    Words mean whatever we want them to. But if we interpret the phrase representative democracy to mean a political system in which power is held by the representatives of the people as chosen in democratic elections, the United States is a representative democracy in just the same sense that the Roman Empire was a republic, the United Kingdom is a kingdom, and the Chinese Communist Party is communist.

    In fact, dear progressive, you fear and loathe democracy. Moreover, you are right to do so. Representative democracy is a thoroughly despicable system of government. It is dangerous and impractical at best, criminal at worst. And you hate it like the poison it is.

    But you don't hate it under this name. You hate it under the name of politics. Think of the associations that the words political, partisan, politician, and so on, produce in your mind. You say: George W. Bush politicized the Justice Department. And this is a brutal indictment. If you hated black people the way you hate politics, you might say George W. Bush negroized the Justice Department, and the phrase would carry the same payload of contempt.

    Similarly, when you hear antonyms such as apolitical, nonpartisan, bipartisan, or even the new and truly ludicrous post-partisan, your heart thrills with warmth and affection, just as it would if you were a racist and you heard the words Nordic, Anglo-Saxon, or amelanistic. And as it does when you hear the word democracy. You certainly would never say that George W. Bush democratized the Justice Department.

    And yet, when you hear the phrase "apolitical democracy," it sounds slightly off. Can we have democracy without politics? Representative democracy without politics? What would that even mean? That there are no parties, perhaps? So let me get this straight - two parties is good, one party is bad (very bad), no parties at all is - even better? La Wik has a curious page for non-partisan democracy, in which some of these issues are explored, in the typical disjointed and unenlightening manner.

    This is simply one of these contradictions that we find in the modern, progressive mind. You have probably wondered, idly, about it yourself. Since, as we've seen, progressivism is an essentially religious movement, the mystery of politics, that necessary evil of democracy, slides neatly into the same lobe of your brain that was in less enlightened days reserved for the great questions of theology. How can God be three persons at once? A wondrous mystery indeed.

    Two fresh yarns in the Pravda illustrate the irony beautifully. In the first (which we've linked to before), our brave reporter is positively amused to find a native tribe so benighted that they might imagine they'd be better off without democracy. In the second, our fearless correspondent is shocked that, in darkest North America, the savages are so backward and credulous as to entertain the preposterous belief that counting heads amidst the mob is a sensible way to select responsible public officials.

    Let's probe a little deeper into this mystery. If the actions of our democratic governments are not to be ascribed to the venal machinations of politicians, who is responsible for them? Who, in the ideal apolitical, nonpartisan, or post-partisan state, calls the shots? We are back to the basic question of power, which Lenin once summarized as "Who? Whom?" (This made more sense in English when we still used the word "whom." What Lenin meant was: who rules whom?)

    So if politicians should not rule, who - dear progressive - should? If we continue our pattern of two-word answers, the answer is: public policy.

    To the progressive - rather ironically, considering the history - Lenin's question is completely inappropriate. You reject the idea that government means that "who" must "rule" "whom." Rather, you believe that government, when conducted properly in the public interest, is an objective discipline - like physics, or geology, or mathematics.

    It does not matter "who" the physicists, geologists, or mathematicians are. There is no German physics, liberal geology, or Catholic mathematics. There is only correct physics, correct geology, and correct mathematics. The process and criteria by which physicists separate correct from incorrect physics is quite different from that for geology or mathematics, and none of these processes is perfect or works instantaneously. But all have an obvious tendency to progress from error and ignorance to truth and knowledge.

    Needless to say, if the United States were blessed with a Department of Mathematics - honestly I'm not sure why it isn't, but we can rest assured that if this wrong is ever righted, it will stay righted - it would be thoroughly inappropriate and irresponsible for George W. Bush to "politicize" the Department's deliberations on topology, computability, game theory, etc.

    Public policy, of course, must not contradict physics, geology or mathematics. But these are not its main linchpins. When we look inside the magic box of public policy, we see fields such as law and economics and ethics and sociology and psychology and public health and foreign policy and journalism and education and...

    And when we look at the history of these fields, we tend to see one of two things. Either (a) the field was more or less invented in the 20th century (sociology, psychology), or (b) its 20th-century principles bear very little relation to those of its 19th-century predecessor (law, economics). We saw this two weeks ago, for example, with international law. But again, I am getting ahead of myself.

    As a progressive, you regard the fields of public policy as more or less scientific. The 20th century is the century of scientific public policy. And just as there is no German physics or Catholic mathematics, there is no German public policy or Catholic public policy. There is only public policy. There is no "who." There is no rule. There is no world domination. There is only global governance.

    So we see why it's inappropriate for George W. Bush to "politicize" the Justice Department. It is because the Justice Department is staffed with legal scholars. Is George W. Bush a legal scholar? Is a boar hog an F-16? When politics intrudes on the realm of science, it's more than just a violation. It's a kind of rape. One is instantly reminded of the Nazi stormtroopers, dancing around their flaming piles of books. One, if one is an American, is also reminded of the mindless jockery that ruled one's high-school years. Do you, dear progressive, have any hesitation about picking a side in this dispute? Of course not.

    Thus we see the fate of representative, political democracy, which survives as a sort of vestigial reptile brain or fetal gill-slit in the era of scientific government. In classic Machiavellian style, the form democracy has been redefined. It no longer means that the public's elected representatives control the government. It means that the government implements scientific public policy in the public interest. (Public policy is in the public interest by definition.)

    We may summarize the whole in Lincoln's concise phrase: government of the people, by the people, for the people. All governments are of the people (they also provide animal control). The people being what they are, by the people turns out to be a bad idea. But we can still have government for the people, which gives us two out of three, which ain't bad. Since it is both of the people and for the people, and demos after all just means people, we can keep the good old word for our modern, scientific democracy.

    You may already know all this, but perhaps it's worth a brief tour of how this system evolved.

    The basically criminal nature of the old, political form of democracy has been discovered and rediscovered many times in American (and before that, of course, British) history. In his American Creation, the popular historian Joseph Ellis summarizes the Founders' judgment on democracy: "an alien, parasitic force." This of course would be their judgment as of the 1790s, not the 1770s, at which point they had had plenty of experience with said parasitic force. Any premodern history of the period - I recommend Albert Beveridge's four-volume life of John Marshall (I, II, III, IV) - will show you why. There is a reason you didn't learn much about the First Republic in that eleventh-grade civics class.

    The Second Republic, or Constitutional period, saw a return to government by enlightened aristocrats, first under the Federalists and later under the Jeffersonians, who rather cleverly rode a wave of mob agitation into office and then ruled in a distinctily Federalist style (a trick that would later be repeated). This era of good feelings lasted until the election of ur-politician Andrew Jackson, who among other works of genius invented the spoils system - the unabashed selection of political loyalists for government jobs.

    The following period of political turmoil, while distinguished by occasional flashes of sanity (such as the best system of government finance in history) and ameliorated by gridlock between North and South, which preserved a remarkably small and simple Washington, degenerated into the mass military insanity of the 1860s. Many Northern intellectuals, such as Henry Adams, had assumed that the defeat of the Slave Power would heal all the woes of the Federal City and transform it into the shining light it was meant to be. Au contraire.

    Instead, in the Union period or Third Republic, what was by 20th-century standards a remarkably limited government, but by 18th-century standards an almost omnipotent one, fell into the hands of ethnic machines, corrupt politicians, quasicriminal financiers, sinister wire-pullers, unscrupulous journalists, vested interests, and the like. History, which of course is always on the side of the winners, has written this down as the Gilded Age.

    For all its faults, the Gilded Age system created perhaps the most responsible and effective government in US history. Architecture is always a good clue to the nature of power, and Gilded Age buildings, where they still stand, are invariably decorative. The country's prosperity and productivity was, of course, unmatched. Its laws were strict and strictly enforced - nothing like today's festering ulcers of crime were imaginable.

    An English journalist of Tory bent, G. W. Steevens, wrote an excellent travelogue of Gilded Age America - Land of the Dollar. (It's very readable, especially if you don't mind the N-word.) Steevens, in 1898, was unable to locate anything like a slum in New York City, and his intentions were not complimentary. It's an interesting exercise to compare the hyperventilations of a Gilded Age social reformer like Jacob Riis - the title How The Other Half Lives may ring a bell - to the world of Sudhir Venkatesh. Riis's tenement dwellers are sometimes less than well-scrubbed. They can be "slovenly." They drink a lot of beer. Their apartments are small and have poor ventilation - ventilation, for some reason, seems to be a major concern. All these horrors still afflict the present-day residents of the Lower East Side, who are hardly in need of anyone's charity.

    But the Gilded Age political system was, again, criminal. In other words, it was democratic. The old American system is probably best compared to the government of China today. While they evolved from very different origins, they have converged in that universal medium, corruption. Government serves as a profit center, but (unlike in neocameralism) the distribution of profits is informal. The dividends are fought over with a thousand nontransparent stratagems. Since China is not a democracy, vote-buying is not practiced there. It was certainly practiced here.

    And the bosses and plutocrats were not, by and large, cultured men. Sometimes I feel this is the main objection of their enemies. The American intellectual aristocracy simply could not tolerate a world in which their country was governed by these corrupt, boorish thugs. So, as aristocrats will, they plotted their revenge.

    2010-08-12 06:03:07 LINK: Lets get iconoclastic, boardID=25

  • lerpderp

    Re: 6 charged in human trafficking

    I'm amazed it was on CNN, but not surprised that it happened. I mean, c'mon, it's not as though there's anyone in America that wants to be paid to work on a farm. And who are we to question methods used to keep costs down, which in turn allows companies more money to provide better goods and services for a lower price thus allowing the commoooooooooh no.

    I will meditate on this when I enjoy my next mixed-fruit cocktail.

    2010-09-04 10:27:31 LINK: Re: 6 charged in human trafficking, boardID=2

  • Iptuous

    Re: Say something insulting to the previous poster.

    well,  if you're okay with the shameful submissiveness, and you accept the inevitable doom that will result from those pustulous simian diseases that you keep contracting, then who are we to judge?

    2010-09-09 12:48:06 LINK: Re: Say something insulting to the previous poster., boardID=2

  • Doktor Howl

    Re: Say something insulting to the previous poster.

    : Iptuous  
    well,  if you're okay with the shameful submissiveness, and you accept the inevitable doom that will result from those pustulous simian diseases that you keep contracting, then who are we to judge?


    Submissiveness?  I prefer to call it "affection".

    Your jealosy is transparent.

    2010-09-09 12:48:59 LINK: Re: Say something insulting to the previous poster., boardID=2

  • triple zero

    Re: So it's happened.

    : Richter  
    "After training in our monastery, you will not go out into town and claim you have super powers, even if you do." (sort of) - from "Lamb" by Christopher Moore

    Funny, I read some stuff about Buddhism or meditation, that said on the path to Enlightenment (there were 8 steps in this path, IIRC, in this particular teachings), at some point you might be convinced you have superpowers like clairvoyance and the such. But the text said these are traps and you shouldn't get stuck there but carry on and also destroy this ego-based superpower crap (it didn't dismiss them as unreal or imaginary).

    : ϗ  
    I do have a problem, however, with his craving for it. But that's another issue entirely.

    I dunno, it's not even the craving that bothers me, but rather the smug way he's on a stage telling people about it with this religious gaze in his eyes. It just screams "scam" at me, even if it's sincere.

    Apart from that, I do agree, if Jim found this and is enjoying this, who are we to judge that?

    Also +1 on trying to mindfuck him with the 23 enigma.

    2010-12-03 02:04:27 LINK: Re: So it's happened., boardID=2

  • LMNO

    Re: We're All Hipsters.

    Who are we?  We're the Friendly People...

    2010-12-10 11:11:49 LINK: Re: We're All Hipsters., boardID=9

  • LMNO

    WHO ARE WE? 2011

    We're the Social People. People friending people. Informing our friends with how many they are. What they are. A numbers game. The more friends, the luckier they should feel to be one of those people. The group everybody wants to be part of. Your friends. Your people. The people that should know you're walking your dog. Instantly. Directly connected via the Web. Close to you. Just a few sticky strands away. Closer than would be possible or comfortable in reality. Our Tubes provide their nourishment. Always and everywhere.

    We’re the FARMVILLE people.  We're the people that farm your time.  Because you weren't doing anything with it anyway, right?  We make everything happy, even stoop-labor sharecropping.  Because if you can't BE a farmer, you can FEEL like one.  It's like the old days, only without all that annoying productivity.  We'd like to take you back to a simpler time, when farming took only a few hours a day.  Who are we?

    We're the FOURSQUARE people.  We know where you are, we know who you're with.  We can track you within a three meter radius.  We know when you've left your phone at home, and we know that you shouldn't be taking that right on red.  We know you're cheating on your wife, and we can track you from work to the porn shop on 86th street to home.  We can locate you, your family, and your pets.  Who are we?

    We're the 3G people, the network people.  You're in our phone network, checking your social network, staying perfectly still in that fragile overstretched web.  Can't struggle or it'll break, can't revolt or you're just falling.  We are contact, we are social livelihood, and as far as you know we always have been.  Your kids have only ever known it this way and you can't remember when it wasn't.  You can't remember a phone call as something you did for an activity instead of something you did while doing something else.  You can't remember agreeing to meet at a specific time and place in advance of leaving your house, can't remember planning.  Who are we?

    We're the people who give you what you need.  E-warmth.  E-Friends.  A place to put up all the private details of your life for the world to see.  Think of it this way:  Before, you had to go to great pains for strangers to get pictures and details about your children, and now you can do it in just minutes a day!  In your grandfather's day, stalkers and pedos were really hard to come by, but now you can have them all with just the click of a mouse, thanks to our state of the art technology and utter lack of annoying ethics!  Who are we?

    Who's Big Brother?  

    Not us.  We just provide the service.  That's what we do.  Sure you might have to look at a few tiny adds, but those are easy to ignore.  In fact, tell us if you don't liek them.  We'll find some better ones for you.  

    You chose to use the service.  You wanted to.  You thought it looked fun.  
    Have a weird view, or don't like somethign that's happeneing?  Please log in, post an update about it!  We're the people that provide the milieu.  Jsut so you can play with it.  Jsut so we can watch you play.  

    We're the line you follow.  Routes are hard and streets are confusing, especially because they're the last damn thing you had to think about dynamically.  There's a bright green line on the same screen that has your friends' smiling faces.  Just keep on that line.  You don't need to choose your own route and if you can't manage to do it we'll fix that line for you to follow again.  Don't stray, and give us your rapt attention.  There are beautiful things out the windows and relaxing daydreams to be had that'll only serve to get you irrevocably lost.  Then you're in a right fiasco because all the faces not on our screen are out to get you and none of them know the way even if you asked because they're following their own lines.  Listen to the voice that comes with the line.  It'll make you feel less alone.  Who are we?

    edit by 000: you copied a spelling mistake from OB (jsut/just), figured it'd be easier to just go and correct it than post about it.

    2010-12-28 12:55:44 LINK: WHO ARE WE? 2011, boardID=2

  • Eater of Clowns

    Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011

    We're the beginning.  We're upstart, fledgling.  A decade ago you would have laughed if we'd told you where we'd be today.  Just like you'd recoil in horror if we could tell you where we'll be a decade from now.  That isn't how we work, though.  When that day is actually here, you'll hardly blink an eye.  Who are we?

    2010-12-28 13:23:49 LINK: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011, boardID=2

  • Eater of Clowns

    Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011

    Second nature.  Intuition.  Thumb flick tap slide pinch click response.  You can't remember what a learning curve is.  The phrase has a dirty word in it, one that's opposite of accessible and open and easy.  What were we doing, when you thought we were making operation simpler for on-the-go?  We were minimizing down time, time away, your time.  Who are we?

    2010-12-28 13:48:12 LINK: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011, boardID=2

  • themeninss

    Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011

    We are your workmates. We get on with things, like we tell ourselves we should, and so should you. Who are we?

    2010-12-28 14:30:44 LINK: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011, boardID=2

  • Shrunkenheadspace

    Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011

    We're the political people.  We are the revolutionaries, the bold dreamers of a new era. We know you work hard, and we know that sometimes you get frustrated at the way the world goes round. You're tired of socialism, right? Aren't you tired of all those bleeding-heart liberals ruining the nation? We want you to know that that's ok. You do have options. You may not be able to afford them right now, but do things our way and you'll have plenty of money to pay for your own roads when the time finally comes. We promise. Who are we?

    2010-12-29 07:32:45 LINK: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011, boardID=2

  • Jenne

    Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011

    We're the righteous people.  We give you all you need to feel you're right.  Think you're not?  That's OK!  We have plenty of bullhorns and misspelled signage that drowns those niggling little fears right away!  Afraid you might still be going to Hell?  Not to worry, we have all you need to feel the right way.  Sunday mornings, Wednesday evenings!  Coffee shops inside your local box church to make YOU feel right at home.  Consume your religion, and you'll get a Grade A bonus of sending the little ones who can't afford it Jesus Camp!  We donate 10% of our profits not to a prophet but to preach and teach to those nasty, sinning neighbors of yours!

    Who are we?  We're the people on YOUR side.  Right, wrong, indifferent?  That's ok!  We have a club for you!  You'll always belong, you'll always have a label.  We want you to fit in, fit right and move forward.  Nothing will get done, but you'll still feel like it is!  We'll funnel your tax money into the causes you think you want, and if you don't know what you want, we'll TELL you.  We're the people with answers, answers to questions you didn't even know existed!  Why suffer with education, information and soundbites no one understands anymore?

    We will tell you what you need to know, what you need to think, and which group you belong to.  You belong.  You belong with us.

    Who are we?

    2010-12-29 10:59:50 LINK: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011, boardID=2

  • Kurys

    Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011

    No. I like it :)

    Who are we? We are your neighbors. The ones with the nicer car and the nicer house. Our kids are better, our wives prettier, our husbands more handsome, our pets cuter than yours. Your wife wants to have coffee with ours, your husband wants to bullshit with ours over the fence, your kids want to hang out with ours. Hell, you and yours want to be us.
    But you can't.

    WHO ARE WE? Unobtainable.

    2010-12-29 13:18:10 LINK: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011, boardID=2

  • TSosBR!

    Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011

    Who are we?

    We're the enemies you haven't made yet, we're the friends you don't speak to anymore.  We're the people who used to care for you, and the people who still do.  We're the hippes and vegans and the people who think that making a statement is what matters.  Who are we?

    We're the dead flies on your windscreen, the skeletons in your closet.  We're the hedgehog crushed under your car tire when you were 17, and your girlfriend cried for an hour.  We're the wanderlust and the fear.

    We're the teachers, parents and friends who never believed in you.  We killed your dreams.  We're the dull pavement that carries you to work.  We're the hollow skyscrapers and the walls of your office cubicles.  We are the pathetic displays of individuality that you think are keeping you sane.  We are everything you hate and fear, and we define everything you love.

    We made you, and you will be ours.

    Who aren't we.

    2010-12-29 13:49:09 LINK: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011, boardID=2

  • Nurse Rhizome

    Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011

    Filled with horrible joy, reading this thread.  Especially OP.

    : Eater of Clowns  
    Second nature.  Intuition.  Thumb flick tap slide pinch click response.  You can't remember what a learning curve is.  The phrase has a dirty word in it, one that's opposite of accessible and open and easy.  What were we doing, when you thought we were making operation simpler for on-the-go?  We were minimizing down time, time away, your time.  Who are we?

    Spot on and :mittens:

    2010-12-29 16:50:03 LINK: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011, boardID=2

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011

    : Agent Rhizome  
    Filled with horrible joy, reading this thread.  Especially OP.

    : Eater of Clowns  
    Second nature.  Intuition.  Thumb flick tap slide pinch click response.  You can't remember what a learning curve is.  The phrase has a dirty word in it, one that's opposite of accessible and open and easy.  What were we doing, when you thought we were making operation simpler for on-the-go?  We were minimizing down time, time away, your time.  Who are we?

    Spot on and :mittens:

    OP is actually about 5 different people's crap from Open Bar.

    2010-12-29 17:35:58 LINK: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011, boardID=2

  • LMNO

    Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011

    We’re the tweeting people.  The updating people.  The people who desperately need to keep you informed of what is going on, in detailed minu

    tia, in 140 characters or less.  To describe to you our dog’s dietary habits, from both ends.  And where we are.  And that we just put anoth

    er $500 on our credit cards, almost maxed it out, ; - )  And to tell you exactly what we think about the latest reality show where desperate w

    omen whose best days have passed them by in exchange for silicon and imitation designer handbags suck up the brackish residue of celebrity in

    an attempt to salvage their long-ago abandoned hopes for love and stability, but are ultimately ground down into hair-pulling caricatures th

    at only make a mockery of your struggles to get through an ordinary day without eating the barrel of your grandfather’s service revolver.  LOL

    Who are we?

    2010-12-30 05:35:21 LINK: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011, boardID=2

  • Gray Jester

    Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011

    Who are we?

    We are the next wave.  We make the new world possible, let corporations downsize their unnecessary labor and become more streamlined in the new century.  We lay the cable, we run the pipes, we make you obsolete.  Welcome to the new connected world!  Hope you measure up!

    2010-12-30 16:08:18 LINK: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011, boardID=2

  • Fujikoma

    Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011

    Mine probably sucks, and I hope I didn't rip anyone off writing this, I know I said I couldn't contribute (and likely, still can't) but, here goes:

    Who are we? We are the battered, bitter shells. We are the hollow product of broken glass homes. We keep quite while the world goes by. When you pass by you do not see us, when you look we are not there. We find our homes in cold, dark corners. We are the coming storm.

    Who are we? We are the children of tomorrow, of yesterday, but never of today. The outcasts, the unfriendly people. You see us when we act out, and you torment us when we do not. The sad people, the broken people, and deservedly so. We continue the cycle, we are the bitter fruit that stings the tongue.

    Who are we? We are the product of consumerism, the inadvertent outcome of nepotism, the slimy shades in back alleyways that melt into the eaves. We watch you while you are fortunate, we drag you down, and we take from you when you fall. We are the chosen fools, disciples of the madness you created, to which you show unconcern. We are a debt someone never paid, an obligation unfulfilled, this is who we are.

    2010-12-31 07:10:55 LINK: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011, boardID=2

  • Rev Whats His Name

    Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011

    Who are we?  We're the people waiting for you to go first.  We talk a good game but never throw down.  We praise your good ideas and exhalt your plans.  We'll be right there behind you!  Well, actually, right after we wash our hair.  Then we're right there with you!  Oh, well, no, we have to renew our gym membership, I mean, it's gonna be a new year, we're going to hit the stair climbers for sure this year!  Then, we'll be ripped and ready to fight the good fight along side you...oh wait, we just remembered we need to clean up the hard drive.  That shouldn't take too long, and then, holy fuck are we ready to rumble!!!  Well, we probably should get a new bottle of asprin first.  We might get a headache while trying to fight The Man.  Go on ahead, we'll be there eventually, really, trust us, who are we? 

    2010-12-31 07:23:00 LINK: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011, boardID=2

  • TSosBR!

    Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011

    Welcome to the future hun!

    Who are we?  We're the people you are, only better!

    We're aspirations baby!  We're a society built on something for nothing, and let ME tell YOU, it's great.

    And somehow thats important, that we're honest with each other, but let me tell you, my friend there is science to show that the dishonest doe better.  For themselves, for their kids, for everyone they ever had the courage to love.

    We're the network people, we're the lies you tell.  To make this life more bearable.


    You fantastic coward.

    2010-12-31 21:32:25 LINK: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011, boardID=2

  • Rev Whats His Name

    Re: 2010 - a Year in Review

    I really enjoyed the beginning of what I'll dub, for lack of a better title, The Apple Talk Essays.

    If I'm remembering correctly, I think the Spider threads started it all.  But then there were the threads from one poster to another and then launched into some (sorry for the Bill and Ted-ism) righteous social commentary/social skewering.  But I really enjoyed that development and I think it helped me, on a personal level, to feel like I had some kind of input and involvement around here beyond my stupid jokes.  

    There were some pretty good WOMPs last year.  (Even though I wasn't in any of them.)

    The "Who Are We?" thread that popped up near the end of 2010 was pretty awesome.  Who Are We, 2011?

    Oh and :mittens: for ECD coming out!!!!

    ETA:

    Okay, so here's the one rant I wrote in 2010 that I think came out pretty well:  You Want Your Country Back? Sure, here, take the fucking thing.....

    Also, I think there was quite a bit of funny in Unbridled Punnery - which makes punnery very lonely

    2011-01-03 07:29:16 LINK: Re: 2010 - a Year in Review, boardID=2

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Tired

    Who are we?   :lulz:

    2011-01-03 10:36:05 LINK: Re: Tired, boardID=2

  • Hawk

    Re: Tired

    : The Good Reverend Roger  
    Who are we?   :lulz:

     :lulz:

    Someone can record it and add it to that if they want. I have no equipment.

    2011-01-03 10:37:08 LINK: Re: Tired, boardID=2

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Tired

    : Charley Brown  
    : The Good Reverend Roger  
    Who are we?   :lulz:

     :lulz:

    Someone can record it and add it to that if they want. I have no equipment.

    I'll have to tinker with the text a bit, Jeopardy-style.

    2011-01-03 10:42:00 LINK: Re: Tired, boardID=2

  • Hawk

    Re: Tired

    : The Good Reverend Roger  
    : Charley Brown  
    : The Good Reverend Roger  
    Who are we?   :lulz:

     :lulz:

    Someone can record it and add it to that if they want. I have no equipment.

    I'll have to tinker with the text a bit, Jeopardy-style.

    Have at it.

    2011-01-03 10:43:46 LINK: Re: Tired, boardID=2

  • triple zero

    Re: Tired

    : The Good Reverend Roger  
    Who are we?   :lulz:
    Tired

    (I read your post and the thread title in succession, it made me chuckle)

    2011-01-03 14:46:43 LINK: Re: Tired, boardID=2

  • Hawk

    Re: Tired

    : Triple Zero  
    : The Good Reverend Roger  
    Who are we?   :lulz:
    Tired

    (I read your post and the thread title in succession, it made me chuckle)

     :lulz:
    That works.

    2011-01-04 07:41:39 LINK: Re: Tired, boardID=2

  • East Coast Hustle

    Mission Statement

    Who are we?

    We're the Giving People. We're all about giving you more of what you want in quantities you can't possibly need. We're going to force-feed your head until you've got mental fois gras coming out your ears. We're committed to rekindling your commitment to Sparkle Motion. We do these things and more, at prices you can barely almost afford, because we KNOW in our HEARTS that too much is NEVER enough.

    Who are we?

    We're the providers. We'll tell you what you want while we give you what you need and tell you that you can trade it in as a 20% down payment on what you want. We're the Pay-It-Forward People. You'll never notice how hard we're fucking you in the ass because we've made sure that you'll be too busy buggering someone else while we're doing it. It feels good to give, doesn't it?

    Who are we?

    We're the Growing People. We've counteracted the recession with our innovative hiring practices. We know how to get more done with less, and we're making you know how as well. Spreading the message and teaching the methods, that's our way. More jobs for less wages. We're the Efficiency People. We won't need to replace you with a robot because we can replace you with 3 part-time Yous for less money.

    Who are we?

    2011-01-12 10:49:55 LINK: Mission Statement, boardID=9

  • Cainad

    Re: Mission Statement

    We're the Opportunity People. It's our pleasure to hook you up with a loan for that thing you desperately need. After all, we know that it can't ALL be fun and games and fifty-two-inch High Definition TVs, though we do our best. That 50 grand you need to get through college another year or two? No problem at all, friend. We know you'll be around for a long, long time, and you'll have plenty of opportunities to pay us back, whether or not you feel like buying food that month. We're so eager to share this money with you, we'll drop you the cash for a brand-spanking-new $500,000 house at a barely-noticeable down payment, hardly any questions asked!

    Who are we?

    2011-01-12 11:01:58 LINK: Re: Mission Statement, boardID=9

  • L.D.D. Szarowka

    Re: Mission Statement


    We're the Virtuous Crusaders, that know what's best for you and know that sacrifices need to be done if things will be as we envision them. Those 30,000 died so that we can still go to church and not feel indignant that our fellow brothers are getting high instead of being productive, so that we can stare right into our children's eyes and say "They all died to get you a better future, you should be grateful". And you will be grateful, or else.

    Who are we?

    2011-01-12 14:54:50 LINK: Re: Mission Statement, boardID=9

  • Nigel

    Re: Mission Statement

    We're the Opinion People. It's our job to think, so you don't have to. We understand that the burdens of work, family, church, and making those loan payments on time are already enough without the added stress of having to come up with a position on the latest public events; that's why we're here to tell you not only what to think, but how to think it. Don't you worry; everything is going to be just fine. We have people on it. The food is perfectly safe, and the economy is just about to turn around. Studies show that working multiple part-time jobs is good for your health, and medical insurance is really just an unnecessary luxury for effete ivory-tower left-wing bleeding-heart liberals. A sixpack or two after work is a good way to relax and watching TV supports our economy. If you're worried, depressed, anxious, can't sleep, or suffer from cold sweats, poverty, headaches, impotence, or blurred vision, just mention us to your doctor by name.

    Who are we?

    2011-01-12 15:24:33 LINK: Re: Mission Statement, boardID=9

  • Hoopla

    Re: Mission Statement

    We're the Starfuckers.  It's our job to pry into the deepest corners of the lives of those who choose to entertain us.  We pay them to entertain us, and they do entertain us, but they owe us.  They owe us more.  They owe us their personal details, they owe us their intimate moments, they owe us their opinions, they owe us their soul.  We know that they are both bizarre and alien to us and yet exactly like us... they snort ground hedgehogs off the foreheads of midgets while fucking petrified octopus but they also shop at Target - just! like! us!  They also wear sweatpants and consume Big Macs and drive drunk and shoot their wives - there but for the grace of Judy Garland go all of us.  We create social networks, ostensibly to keep in touch with our "friends", but really to trick the gods of Hollywood to tell us how heavy their latest bowel movement was, or how often they clean lint from their bellybuttons, they owe us at least that much.  We paid for their mansions, we paid for their Bentley, we paid for their Mexican housekeeper, we paid for their alleged privacy, we own that privacy!  We own it!  They owe us!  They owe us!  They owe the Starfuckers, because we made them and we can break them just as easily.

    Who are we?

    2011-01-13 06:47:42 LINK: Re: Mission Statement, boardID=9

  • LMNO

    Re: Mission Statement

    We're the horror junkies.  We track down the worst examples of humanity, and present it to you in snappy 12.5 minute segments.  We provide the tragedy you need, from aiplane disasters to floods in third world shitholes, tornadoes, earthquakes and famine.  We're the premium providers of impersonal pain.  But it doesn't stop there.  We're the Human Interest people.  We show you the burnouts, the fame whores, the poor-impule-control freakshows.  The megalomaniacal daddy issue fuckups, screaming for attention.  We scrape the pathetic bottom of those who bought into Warhol's prophecy, and parade them in front of you.  We're the ones who make you think these behaviors are "normal".  We're the ones who condition you into passive acceptance of evolutionary decline.

    Who are we?

    2011-01-13 07:06:23 LINK: Re: Mission Statement, boardID=9

  • Eater of Clowns

    Re: More Spider Music from the Spider Project

    : LMNO, PhD  
    : The Good Reverend Roger  
    : LMNO, PhD  
    Another new track... TGRR with the "It's hard to know when the Spiders came and made everything real" rant.

    http://www.reverbnation.com/artist/artist_songs/614898

    Rant 8.

    Free for streaming and download.

    :mittens:

    I was still talking too fast.

    Amusingly, I actually slowed your track down to 87% of it's original speed.

    If I didn't know better, I'd advise to lay off the biker speed.

    FACT:  When I met TGRR he was speaking at his normal pace, the act of which caused such friction that his teeth melted and his lips burst into flames.  After drowning the conflagration in gravy, he casually declared he would go "freshen up" and returned with a mismatched and out of place set of new teeth concealed by what looked like, and I can only hope was, mangled raw chicken wings.  When rushing to the bathroom to go vomit I accidentally wandered into what had to be his harvesting zone, also the kitchen of this establishment, and what I saw relaxed my stomach...and my bowels right along with it.  Curiously neither he nor Richter questioned why I returned to the table wearing the head chef's pants, though I swear Richter threw me a look of solemn knowing.

    These continue to be excellent, LMNO.  In the process of recording my own pieces as well as the Who Are We? stuff I've come to the conclusion that I don't know how anyone in my presence is able to tolerate the sound of pure revulsion that seems to emanate from my face when I move it around in an attempt to communicate.

    2011-01-23 21:04:24 LINK: Re: More Spider Music from the Spider Project, boardID=15

  • Jenne

    Re: More Spider Music from the Spider Project

    : Cainad  
    : Jenne  
    LOVE IT.  Cainad's voice was perfect, and the upbeat music just hit the right spots in the narrative.  Another masterpiece, LMNO!

    Thanks, but you'd never know it from the amount of coaching LMNO had to give me through PMs before I was able to shake off enough of the "droning teenager monotone" for it to work. :lol:

    Was hella fun to read though, with all those harsh sibilant sounds and visceral imagery.

    Once my cold is over, Imma read the "WHO ARE WE?" script.  Gonna use the same media device as I did for the Spiders Project.  Since my brother STOLE my recording of what I did a few years back in his stuido ( :crankey: ), I'll have to redo it.

    2011-03-02 09:32:34 LINK: Re: More Spider Music from the Spider Project, boardID=15

  • Jenne

    Re: More Spider Music from the Spider Project

    :lulz:  But I know what you mean, EoC.  Mine's short, so re-reading it only twice seemed to help.  I remember when I was recording the "Who Are WE?" with my brother a couple of years back, I tried playing with the inflection so much that I ended up changing the meaning here and there, or intended focus or whatever, such that he'd make me go back and re-do it if he thought that individual take was ass or whatever.

    Can't wait for this damned cold to be over and done (longest cold EVAR!) so I can record that mother.

    2011-03-08 23:41:15 LINK: Re: More Spider Music from the Spider Project, boardID=15

  • Doktor Howl

    Re: ITT you suggest forum news

    : Shub-Crackerath  

    YAWN!!!

    told you already i wasn't going to bother, you made it seem unexciting

    We're as exciting as your fixed gear bike!  We're as new as your Buddy Holly glasses and as absolutely fascinating as your affected ennui!  Be the first one on your block to run right out and get us!  Collect and trade with your friends!  Get the whole set!

    Who are we?

    2011-03-09 10:24:23 LINK: Re: ITT you suggest forum news, boardID=11

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: ITT you suggest forum news

    We're the butthurt people.  We bring you your butthurt faster, more efficiently, and cheaper than ever before?  Try this out at home:  Stare at the dog.  Does he make you feel angry?  Do you feel a need to show him how upset you are?  Now look at us, and ask yourself if the dog is really giving you the best value for your dollar.  We're the number one go-to-guy for hurt feelings and internet one-upmanship...Guaranteed, or your money back.

    Who are we?

    2011-03-09 10:36:01 LINK: Re: ITT you suggest forum news, boardID=11

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: ITT you suggest forum news

    : Shub-Crackerath  
    trolls?

    We're the people that live under your bridge.  No more worrying about those unsanitary billy goats!  No, sir, this is good, old-fashioned mockery, the kind your grandfather used to get.  You see, we want to take the world back to a simpler time, before Welsh people.  Time-tested traditions and lack of values that made this internet the shining example of civilization that it is today...And all at the touch of a button!  With a simple click of the mouse, you can get this high-quality ass-augering in mere minutes!

    Who are we?

    2011-03-09 10:49:12 LINK: Re: ITT you suggest forum news, boardID=11

  • Luna

    Re: ITT you suggest forum news

    : The Good Reverend Roger  
    : Shub-Crackerath  
    trolls?

    We're the people that live under your bridge.  No more worrying about those unsanitary billy goats!  No, sir, this is good, old-fashioned mockery, the kind your grandfather used to get.  You see, we want to take the world back to a simpler time, before Welsh people.  Time-tested traditions and lack of values that made this internet the shining example of civilization that it is today...And all at the touch of a button!  With a simple click of the mouse, you can get this high-quality ass-augering in mere minutes!

    Who are we?

    We are the worm in the wood!
       We are the rot at the root!   
    We are the taint in the blood!
       We are the thorn in the foot!

    Oh, wait, that's been done...

    2011-03-09 10:51:25 LINK: Re: ITT you suggest forum news, boardID=11

  • Khara

    Re: ITT you suggest forum news

    : The Good Reverend Roger  

    Who are we?

    We are the problem. We are also the only solution.  There is no salvation from us because we know where you hide and we know why you cry in the night.  

    The question is not always "Who are we?" the question is "Who are you?" we know the answer, do you?

    Who are we?

    2011-03-09 11:00:59 LINK: Re: ITT you suggest forum news, boardID=11

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: ITT you suggest forum news

    : Khara  
    : The Good Reverend Roger  

    Who are we?

    We are the problem. We are also the only solution.  There is no salvation from us because we know where you hide and we know why you cry in the night. 

    The question is not always "Who are we?" the question is "Who are you?" we know the answer, do you?

    We're you.  Well, at least we're just like you want to be.  We're so much like you that you can use our avatars for shaving mirrors.  We're the you that you wanted to be, back before The Incident...And we can help you be like us.  We become you, and you become nothing.

    Who are we?

    2011-03-09 11:06:02 LINK: Re: ITT you suggest forum news, boardID=11

  • Mistress Freeky

    Re: ITT you suggest forum news

    And then this thread delivered.  :fap:



    We're the human people. We're more human than you, and you better believe that if you're not human enough, you'll be like them, and you don't want that, do you? Of course you don't. We're the real people who tell you what's cool and new and hip, and you can't keep up fast enough without us to keep from being ostracized at the office!  But we can help you be the person everyone wants you to be, be the person everyone wants to talk to, everyone wants to talk at.  Don't think you can get along without us, because you can't!

    Who are we?

    2011-03-09 11:33:21 LINK: Re: ITT you suggest forum news, boardID=11

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: ITT you suggest forum news

    : Shub-Crackerath  
    a bunch of lying and self-important monkeys. or so it would seem

    We're the primates in your personal zoo.  We fling that poop so YOU don't have to, and isn't that what it's really all about?  Poop flinging, done faster, harder, and with a better soundtrack than ever before!  Ask yourself "What do I really want from the internet?"  You'll agree:  You want to be right, and you want to show them.  You want to show them all.  Well, we're here for you.  Show us all, just let down your pance and let your crazy hang out!  We'll applaud, and you'll be vindicated, once and for all.

    Who are we?

    2011-03-09 11:45:47 LINK: Re: ITT you suggest forum news, boardID=11

  • Mistress Freeky

    Re: ITT you suggest forum news

    We're the Average Joe Plumberman.  We're more average than you.  We have average down to a fine art, if average were about art, but it isn't, so why bother with it?  We're always there to set the standard.  Jump, jump higher!  You're not going to be average if you don't want it hard enough.  Don't you want to be like everyone else? Be like us. Only you can't, because we're better than you at being average.  

    Who are we?

    2011-03-09 11:49:18 LINK: Re: ITT you suggest forum news, boardID=11

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: I NEED FAKE RADIO COMMERCIALS

    : Princess Suu the Apostate  
    No, really. if you can get them to me within the next half hour, I will play them on my radio show.

    So doing this, this weekend.

    Who are we?   :lulz:

    2011-03-09 11:54:20 LINK: Re: I NEED FAKE RADIO COMMERCIALS, boardID=2

  • kaousuu

    Re: I NEED FAKE RADIO COMMERCIALS

    : The Good Reverend Roger  
    : Princess Suu the Apostate  
    No, really. if you can get them to me within the next half hour, I will play them on my radio show.

    So doing this, this weekend.

    Who are we?   :lulz:


    Heheheeeeeeeee...

    2011-03-09 12:32:51 LINK: Re: I NEED FAKE RADIO COMMERCIALS, boardID=2

  • Sepia

    Breakfast


    Time would be here, trembling, waiting. A touch of humanity, quirking in forgetfulness, hearts harden as the sun rises and time is here and we're waiting for the train to tremble us through the underground. Sometimes in flashes we see shanghaied trains in ghost tracks with pirates skirmishing, sometimes we see restaurants and there is one man sitting in front of it, smoking a cigarette, drinking an espresso with one finger lifted. Some times we see our dreams here, plastered on the walls but we shrug and move into the light, thinking it wasn't reality but it is and perhaps more real than what reality is because these visions are small shocks and they prod us on our general way and as we ascend, the restaurant reminds us of something, we climb the stairs thinking about Kafka.

    The correlations, their converging happening here now, at this instant and you won't lose it because it'll last forever baby, we'll set the controls for the heart of the sun and as the world turns to ash we'll be down in an old nuclear silo and as it ends we're on everything and it's the best fucking party and as we die we're leaving the light on and as we end we end with love, we end with happiness and that is the end, just a party.

    The shadows will always hold us but the shadows are part of us, they are ours, fragments of us shattered around the world, perhaps Oppenheimer knows where?
    Here is the hardened heart of Icarus and one tear from Leonard Cohen is all it takes and the heart will soften once more, radiate the world in golden light, revealing to us as we jump the hoops of our own making and we're damned happy to do so, this is us embracing our shadows for not all are found in the cesspools of the mind, not every shadow is about your mother and love of the lash, the subtle scent of latex and hot rubber in the air but then again, that would be easier, wouldn't it?

    Her song is all that we miss, we feel our hearts wanting in, remembering it, superimposing it and we can't let her go because of that sound and we become monsters as we pursue our own thoughts and we are truly disrobed in the comfort of our home, monster. We see ourselves and we make peace and in the abyss we are calm and tranquil, we understand and we are left with the desire to hear the song once more.

    The fields are hard, autumn is shaping up, moving on to winter like a furrys wet dream or a native american legend. The apples are cold to the touch, not yet frozen but soon and all life shall perish but we will remain. We've always been here and we can't stop now, there is no reason to not do anything, it's ok, it's usually not that serious unless it is and then you do what you must but those are seldom, write it out: do shit, do shit all the time, don't stop because if we stop when we're dead when everything has changed, who are we then?

    We sit there, you and I, we drink port in the clearing and we feel the forest solidifying, we feel the darkness being encased in ice and we see the sun turning blue and the frost is coming but we talk and we stare at each other and we talk and we touch and we stare and we talk and we eat and we drink and god it's beautiful and everything is freezing and we feel the end and we feel good, we feel the gut, satisified as yet another home is decimated and we pick up, we move on and take what we can carry of memories before we trot further.

    2011-03-09 17:04:39 LINK: Breakfast, boardID=9

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Questions Only

    Who are we?

    2011-03-16 14:39:13 LINK: Re: Questions Only, boardID=1

  • Eater of Clowns

    Re: Questions Only

    Are we the ones that play inane games of questions, mocking the Socratic method by tossing pointless inquisitions against equally disinterested parties?  Are we the ones that insist on discourse conducive to the progress of ideas?  Are we the jokers whose smiles are on the toothier side of comfort, whose punchlines are on the hurtful side of mirth?  Are we the victorious, and by what conditions?  Are we the mouthy malcontents, weathering the staunch hangers-on to foolhardy concepts?  Are we the derelict that stand on street corners, yelling about everything at once and to nobody in particular?

    Who are we?

    2011-03-16 14:57:40 LINK: Re: Questions Only, boardID=1

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    More Futuristic Fun Than You Really Wanted, part IV of V

    We got your future, right here.  All the future you can choke on.  All the future YOU demanded, bigger and better, delivered before you even order it!  Who are we?

    We’re the retro-pulp people.  Some of you may have noticed that the future is beginning to look disturbingly like pulp novels and comics from the 1920s.  That’s no accident!  Pain rays, killer robots, mind control, torture chambers, drug conspiracies, shadowy bad guys, everything just like you wanted it, faster and more efficient...and more REAL!  Sure, the bad guys aren’t mustachioed Chinese freaks or Nazis, but our governments and corporations do a better job, on a lower bid!  Who are we?

    We’re the Animal Farm people, growing a bumper crop of George Orwell’s nightmares, just for you!  Whether you’re interested in giant, faceless collectives, or an all-controlling government, we have a program that suits you!  How, you may ask, can we bring you all this future at yesterday’s prices? 

    Simple.  We use the technology of tomorrow on the monkeys of 200,000 years ago, to make your grandest nightmares into tomorrow’s reality!  This allows us to keep you AND our stockholders happy!  And isn’t that we all want?  Happy stockholders?  Sure, it’s what the American Dream™ is all about!  Who are we?

    We’re the “They” people.  You’ve heard of our brand name, everywhere you go!  “They’ll get you.”, “They’ll hear you talking.”, “They took Joey away, and his wife and kids, too!”  Sound familiar?  It will!  And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

    Our marketing experts have pored over the data, and we’ve adapted our business model to give you, the consumer, what it is you’re looking for.  Nice Things™, White neighborhoods, paralyzing anxiety, and fear! Sound weird?  Naw!  Who doesn’t like a scary movie?  We all do...And now you can LIVE in that scary movie, with our patented Reality Distortion™ technique, by which we make the normal, workaday world into the sort of horror show you’ve always wanted.  Who are we?

    We’re the window people.  We look through your windows, to make sure nothing dangerous is happening.  Oh, we know YOU aren’t doing anything filthy dirty, but you know at least one of your neighbors is, and we have always believed in being fair!  Who can complain about that? 

    We’ve even brought the window out of  your house!  You can have it anywhere, now!  In your airports, on your streets, at every traffic light...There’s nowhere smudgy terrorists can hide, and nowhere you’d WANT to hide, because you aren’t like them.  You want things shiny new bright happy better faster NOW, unlike those people walking.  We’re against them.  Who are we?

    We’re the YOU people.  We’re you.  Because you wouldn’t have it any other way.

    Or Kill Us.

    2011-04-05 10:16:50 LINK: More Futuristic Fun Than You Really Wanted, part IV of V, boardID=2

  • triple zero

    Re: More Futuristic Fun Than You Really Wanted, part IV of V

    : Roger
    We’re the retro-pulp people.  Some of you may have noticed that the future is beginning to look disturbingly like pulp novels and comics from the 1920s.  That’s no accident!  Pain rays, killer robots, mind control, torture chambers, drug conspiracies, shadowy bad guys, everything just like you wanted it, faster and more efficient...and more REAL!  Sure, the bad guys aren’t mustachioed Chinese freaks or Nazis, but our governments and corporations do a better job, on a lower bid!  Who are we?

    Thanks. I'm going to need to remember this, a lot, when I'm going to work for that fringe magazine.

    The rest of the piece was amazing as well but I needed to read the above quoted part.

    And Khara, WOW, I haven't read the last two yet, but those were FUCKING BRILLIANT, loved them!!

    2011-04-07 23:29:38 LINK: Re: More Futuristic Fun Than You Really Wanted, part IV of V, boardID=2

  • Requiem

    Submitting for coment before I inflict this on the internet.

    So for the last little while I've been working on and off on a couple different ways to piss of libertarians and their critics alike.  I'm getting close to finishing this one (I need a good ending for it, and I might yet come up with more things to add), and thought I'd let you guys poke at it so the final product can be stronger.

    Rethinking libertarianism.

    I have a dirty little secret; I still think of myself as a libertarian.  I don't normally admit this, because my beliefs differ so wildly from most self described libertarians (especially those who believe libertarianism is some sort of magic pill that will make things better, rather than see libertarianism as an ethical ideal), but there are certain compelling arguments at the core of libertarian philosophy that I simply cannot reject.

    Firstly, that no person should be forced to take an action, or prevented from taking an action, unless its is necessary to protect individuals.

    What exactly is necessary is a tricky question, and one I'll get into later.

    Secondly, that the use of political power is force.  It is vastly more civilized, polite, and all around better than just using violence, but since all political actions ultimately have the threat of violence behind them, it must be judged by the above question as to if force is appropriate.

    Because I'm talking about rethinking where these principles lead, I will be adding my own rule to the discussion:

    In order for a system to be useful in an imperfect world, a partial implementation must not result in a worse situation that no implimentation.

    The failure to to take this into account is I think one of the primary failings of modern libertarianism.  There are certain things that must not be compromised on because the compromise would be worse than either extreme, and real world dictates that sometimes we must either compromise or let the other side win.

    So, moving on to things I think libertarianism needs to consider.

    Firstly, society is a collection of individuals, and all individuals are dependant on society.  Something that harms society harms a massive number of people.  And because of the dependence we all have on society, we can harm the very people we seek to protect.  It is a common thought in libertarianism that people should be protected from the necessary evil of taxation, but if we go to far in cutting services then it is entirely possible to damage our ability to earn money in the first place.  We need roads to drive to work on, coworkers and employees who are well educated, and customers who can buy our services.  If we don't provide such necessities in a 100% reliable manner, then everybody suffers.  As such we must be judicious in what we say is unecessary.

    Now, some would say that all such things are uneccesary.  That without government interference the market would provide all such things.  This brings me to my next topic. 

    The free market is not a magic pill.

    Yes the market can provide us with truly incredible services, there can be no debate about this simply on the basis that there is no central authority that ensures enough food is delivered to each city.  But the market cannot provide everything.  It's historically had an abysmal record at preventing polution, and it quite literally *can't* build roads, because there will always be somebody in the roads' path unwilling to sell unless the government forces them too.

    Secondly, sometimes the market simply isn't free.  Certain things can't have competition, or if they do have competition only so many competitors can exist.  For a rather blatant example, there's only so much bandwidth in the air.  No amount of market pressure can cause a new cell phone carrier to spring into existence (we could, theoretically deregulate bandwidth usage, but if we did the cell phone service of one company would fail whenever somebody else decided to force their way onto that chunk, it would be akin to abandoning the concept of property).

    Thirdly, the free market doesn't work if people are acting like morons on that subject.  Nobody would believe that an internet where one internet companies customers cannot connect with a second companies customers would be better than what we have now, but this is exactly what corporations attempted to create before the (at the time) goverment controlled internet was made available to the public.  The idea was idiotic in comparison to what they could have done if they allowed interoperability, but sometimes people are idiots.

    Libertarianism does not automatically mean deregulation.

    There are numerous reasons why not, but the first has to be my personal principle listed above.  Most libertarians would agree that the worst part of regulations is that the corporations themselves frequently manipulate the system to create regulations that benefit themselves.  While repealing such self serving regulations is frequently a good idea, by calling for deregulation we allow corporations to use that same power to repeal those regulations that are actually useful, while keeping the regulations that serve their own interests.

    Secondly, a corporation is not an individual.  A corporation is a collection of individuals, and deserves some rights, and it requires other rights so that it can function (a newspaper without access to freedom of the press would be a poor newspaper indeed), but there's no ethical obligation not to regulate unless the regulation treads on the individual as well as the corporation.

    Thirdly, the free market is not a magic pill, dergulation won't always make things better (see above).

    Fourth, if somebody accepts special rights then they have no cause for complaint when they are hit with special regulations.  If you accept the rights that come with copyright, you must also accept the obligations (such as honoring right of first sale, and that your work will eventually become public domain).

    2011-04-10 01:54:05 LINK: Submitting for coment before I inflict this on the internet., boardID=3

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: shiiiiiit ..catch my drift?

    : The Mountain Wizard  
    soo id like to believe this isnt the asshole of the internet, where the intelligent come to be depressed and angry about everything and give up... but thats what the lot of you seem to be doing.

    That's because you aren't paying attention, and you have the wrong values.

    This IS the asshole of the internet.  It's the very worst forum online, if you can look past the shock images that other sites get by on.

    But we aren't depressed...On the contrary, we're filled with mirth.  Every time the humans do something stupid, it's like a comedy club in here.  You see, we see the value in horror, and we understand the post-American century.

    You, on the other hand, don't seem like the type that laughs very much.  You seem like one of those people that cares.  This ain't gonna be your century, Sparky.

    So you bust in here, trying to explain your pineal gland to us, but we already know "OR KILL ME".  You try to explain the tragedy of the human condition in poorly written English, but we already comprehend "I WILL KILL A MOTHERFUCKER".  You have your empathy, and we have "Bob".

    We're in this for the long haul, because we're serious about having a good time.  You're just serious.

    Who are we?

    2011-04-28 11:36:41 LINK: Re: shiiiiiit ..catch my drift?, boardID=9

  • LMNO

    Re: shiiiiiit ..catch my drift?

    We're the glitch people.  The people in the back, wearing ties, throwing packets of fake blood and blaming the kids behind us.  The people who you see leaving last before the building collapses.  We're the fading people.  The people who simply aren't there when the riot cops show up.  The people you pass by every day, failing to comprehend the chaos left in our wake.  The ones who know how to get things done, but keep our heads down, our mouths shut. 

    Who are we?

    2011-04-28 11:44:35 LINK: Re: shiiiiiit ..catch my drift?, boardID=9

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: shiiiiiit ..catch my drift?

    : LMNO, PhD  
    We're the glitch people.  The people in the back, wearing ties, throwing packets of fake blood and blaming the kids behind us.  The people who you see leaving last before the building collapses.  We're the fading people.  The people who simply aren't there when the riot cops show up.  The people you pass by every day, failing to comprehend the chaos left in our wake.  The ones who know how to get things done, but keep our heads down, our mouths shut. 

    Who are we?

    We're the technical people.  The people that seem to be just another crowd of jackasses, but always seem to be gone 10 minutes before it happens.  The quiet people, the people who look sort of like you, but maybe grin a bit too much.  The people who don't seem to care about important things, like the troops and mom and apple pie, but never seem to ride in the back seat of the squad cars.

    Who are we?

    2011-04-28 11:58:21 LINK: Re: shiiiiiit ..catch my drift?, boardID=9

  • Hawk

    Re: shiiiiiit ..catch my drift?

    Sometimes you think you see us out of the corner of your eye, almost ethereal, but never there when you turn your head to look directly at us. We smile and occasionally laugh at your confusion and consternation. We are the ones who are aware of what goes on behind the scenes, which is all that really matters anyway, because everything else is just show and glitter. A whitewashed version of the truth.

    Who are we?

    2011-04-28 12:03:38 LINK: Re: shiiiiiit ..catch my drift?, boardID=9

  • Luna

    Re: shiiiiiit ..catch my drift?

    We're the ones who realize that caring about everything is as useless as caring about nothing, and caring about everybody is as useless as caring about nobody.  We're the ones who can find the mirth under the horror and embrace it, despite it being covered with gore.  We're the ones who realize that the only thing really worth being serious about is having a good time.

    Who are we?

    2011-04-28 12:10:39 LINK: Re: shiiiiiit ..catch my drift?, boardID=9

  • Nigel

    Re: shiiiiiit ..catch my drift?

    We're the salvage people. The people with the truck and the jumpsuits loading unknown debris from the abandoned building around the corner. We're the pitchfork people, the people you see at the side of the road cleaning up something you can't quite identify as you drive past. We're the lawn care people, and you've never asked what we use in the spray that keeps the grass so green. We're the people with the unmarked white trailer parked outside of your neighbor's house for three days, and you never see us move anything in or out of it but you know something's gone terribly wrong and you don't want to know, so you don't think of it, never think of it again. We're the people who clean up the mess so you don't have to. We do it for you; we're here to protect you from knowing.

    Who are we?

    2011-04-28 12:59:31 LINK: Re: shiiiiiit ..catch my drift?, boardID=9

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: shiiiiiit ..catch my drift?

    : Nigel  
    We're the salvage people. The people with the truck and the jumpsuits loading unknown debris from the abandoned building around the corner. We're the pitchfork people, the people you see at the side of the road cleaning up something you can't quite identify as you drive past. We're the lawn care people, and you've never asked what we use in the spray that keeps the grass so green. We're the people with the unmarked white trailer parked outside of your neighbor's house for three days, and you never see us move anything in or out of it but you know something's gone terribly wrong and you don't want to know, so you don't think of it, never think of it again. We're the people who clean up the mess so you don't have to. We do it for you; we're here to protect you from knowing.

    Who are we?

    We're the night time people.  We're the people who come in the night.  Remember Janis Joplin and Captain Kangaroo and that nice old man that used to live down the street?  Neither do we, because we're the clean-up people...We clean your neighborhood, and remove unsightly and unprofitable people who say things that make you think about things that you'd rather just ignore.

    Who are we?

    2011-04-28 13:02:43 LINK: Re: shiiiiiit ..catch my drift?, boardID=9

  • vexati0n

    Re: Fuck you, it's another Osama thread.

    Sometimes, I am amazed at the absolute commitment of people to downplay and bury every single thing that causes the gut reaction instinct to feel good about something.

    Look, I get that nobody's going to be any safer because of this. I get that nothing's going to change, except more "terror alerts" and tighter restrictions on travel. And I know I'm being ignorant by giving in to the mainstream, feel-good bullshit that says HOORAY WE GOT HIM when I know it makes no real difference.

    But I think that's only half the equation. It's balanced by the history of the moment, even if it's bullshit, even if it's nothing but symbolic. It's balanced by the psychological boost given to people who are weary of seeing an endless war fought for questionable goals by people we have no business trusting with the lives of the next generation. It's a morale boost, when we've been worn down by years of recession, bad news, empty promises and surprise political buttsecks.

    It'll drive us to more violence and stronger nationalism in spite of our shrinking world and the growing irrelevance of nation states. It will spur more bullshit jingoism and bumper stickers, and whether it helps Obama get reelected or not, we can be assured that the next presidential term will be carried out by an Establishment puppet bent on the Status Quo (or worse).

    But then, I'm not talking about implications or progress. I'm not at the moment concerned with the Big Picture, the macro-economics of revenge, the Story of Human History, or with rising above my gut instincts. I am concerned simply with the fact that the mastermind of a terrorist act that killed 3,000 people and destroyed the lives of countless others is dead.

    Yeah, it's pase'. It's so mainstream, man. We hear so much about the fact that 3,000 Americans died on 9/11 that we're desensitized to the fact that it happened. Besides, it's what They want us to worry about. Fuck those 3,000 people, right? They don't deserve revenge. Those assholes had it coming. They should have stayed at home that day. The fact that the guy who planned, organized, and financed their demise is dead? Eh, who cares, it's just a political show.

    Not like anybody misses those people. Not like anybody cares. Right?

    2011-05-03 12:25:15 LINK: Re: Fuck you, it's another Osama thread., boardID=25

  • Slyph

    Re: shiiiiiit ..catch my drift?

    We are the legion worshippers of magnaninous blood splattered Eris, she who set in motion certain events leading to the burning of Troy because nobody invited her to the party. Unsurprisingly, we don't get invited to a lot of parties. Inevitably, horrible things keep happening to you. Fair's Fair.

    Who are we?

    2011-05-05 23:42:06 LINK: Re: shiiiiiit ..catch my drift?, boardID=9

  • Hawk

    Good Morning

    Good morning America, how are you?

    I have seen the White Rabbit and have been informed I need to be Leaving on a Jet Plane. Not sure why, but I need to be 8 Miles High, maybe because it's Summer in the City.

    Rocky Raccoon came to me in a dream and told me there would be Another Pleasant Summer Sunday in Crimson and Clover before I climb the Stairway to Heaven. Because of this I found myself Groovin' and wondering what War! was good for.


    Okay, you should get the idea by now. A movement that started in San Francisco  and spread to every city in America and a great deal of the world, culminated at it's peak in a field in upstate New York. Roughly 500,000 people showed for a celebration. A celebration of music, coming of age and anger.

    This era produced Giants like we have never seen before. Unlikely giants, they had long hair, made loud and unconventional music and protest. Often they were heavy drug users, wild, free and the real leaders of the popular movement. People began to question things.

    They tried to beat them back into submission, but their numbers were far too large and their determination was unequaled. These people didn't mind so much going to jail, or even being slapped down by the police.

    But.

    What happened to those people? Where did they go? Sadly they became a part of normal society. They grew up and caved in. Sold out. Not by intention to be sure, but by the desire for human comforts, the knowledge and wisdom of age, and the blunt realization that if they wanted anything they would need to blend in and play the game.

    We can't blame them for this at all, after all, it's human conditioning.

    All of the heroes and giants found greater success in being the mainline people they had become by general acceptance. Seriously, it's hard to protest when you show up to huge crowds and big paydays.

    Who are we to judge them? We ourselves, those of us from that era, have done the same thing. We scratch our way up to mid-management in order to take care of our families and to be able to buy those nice things we see on TV and in the stores.

    I am convinced that every era, every new generation is so sure they have the answers. I am equally sure they will eventually be assimilated into society. You see, it's what must be, there is no escape. Somebody has to do that job, be in charge, take that responsibility. And as the new generation grows they begin to see the benefits for them in doing these things.

    The world and society will, in the end, win. Not because they are better than us, but simply because they are implacable. All they have to do is wait, and they know it.

    We are born, we grow up, we follow the footsteps of those before us. This is the world, as it will ever be. To the youth, go rebel, scream into the wind, kick against the pricks and be heard. Soon enough this will pass and when you drive home to your family, just once in a while you will remember those days, with great fondness and you will be glad for them and you will be glad they no longer involve you.

    From The Spinning Wheel.

    2011-05-06 21:50:14 LINK: Good Morning, boardID=2

  • Slyph

    Re: Political Compass sucks

    : Slyph  
    "Those in a typical modern society who are the wealthiest are also likely to be the most creative, gifted, dynamic, and achievement-oriented."

    Is/Ought.

    I want to expand on this, sorry for the masturbatory self quote...

    I don't like this question because, "Those in a typical modern society who are wealthiest" are able to pursue "creative, dynamic" projects, and to learn, precisely because they're fucking wealthy.

    If I said "agree" it sounds like I'm endorsing Capitalism as meritocratic. If I put "Disagree" it's like I'm saying that the class you're born into doesn't affect you.

    2011-05-17 14:05:17 LINK: Re: Political Compass sucks, boardID=25

  • phoenixofdiscordia

    Re: Political Compass sucks

    : Slyph  
    : Slyph  
    "Those in a typical modern society who are the wealthiest are also likely to be the most creative, gifted, dynamic, and achievement-oriented."

    Is/Ought.

    I want to expand on this, sorry for the masturbatory self quote...

    I don't like this question because, "Those in a typical modern society who are wealthiest" are able to pursue "creative, dynamic" projects, and to learn, precisely because they're fucking wealthy.

    If I said "agree" it sounds like I'm endorsing Capitalism as meritocratic. If I put "Disagree" it's like I'm saying that the class you're born into doesn't affect you.
    Actually, I don't read the "disagree" that way. The class you are born into DOESN'T affect you in the specific ways listed here, unless you read "gifted" in a way to include financial support, education, and other things that are affected by class, but I read it as applying only to in-born characteristics.

    2011-05-17 14:17:41 LINK: Re: Political Compass sucks, boardID=25

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Political Compass sucks

    : Slyph  
    : Slyph  
    "Those in a typical modern society who are the wealthiest are also likely to be the most creative, gifted, dynamic, and achievement-oriented."

    Is/Ought.

    I want to expand on this, sorry for the masturbatory self quote...

    I don't like this question because, "Those in a typical modern society who are wealthiest" are able to pursue "creative, dynamic" projects, and to learn, precisely because they're fucking wealthy.

    If I said "agree" it sounds like I'm endorsing Capitalism as meritocratic. If I put "Disagree" it's like I'm saying that the class you're born into doesn't affect you.

    I refute this entire notion, simply by pointing at Oro Valley and the Eastern Foothills of Tucson.

    Richer than fuck, and useless as tits on a boar.  Now, I go downtown, and there's kickass sculpture everywhere, typically made by brokeass motherfuckers trying to keep a bicycle shop open.

    2011-05-17 14:40:07 LINK: Re: Political Compass sucks, boardID=25

  • ridgerunner

    Re: OS loyalty = Religion

    We have a laptop on Linux and the rest are on Windows because our work stuff requires Windows software.  I run into a lot of people who are weird about Linux, when they see that I'm using it they get all excited and think I'm a fan.  Um, I'm a fan of FREE.  Linux is a free operating system, that most of the shit I use will work on, and I like the free part.

    2011-05-23 20:02:44 LINK: Re: OS loyalty = Religion, boardID=2

  • Doktor Howl

    Re: Fucked Up Mailing List 2011: Round 2

    Dear Doktor Squid,

    I’d like to congratulate you on your self-restraint when exposed to those Belgians.  I know you Southern-types are genetically predisposed to shoot foreigners, so I was pleasantly surprised to learn that they escaped your clutches unharmed (at least physically)...Especially given the dire consequences of such restraint.

    As legend has it, the last Southerner to let a foreigner go was one Bubba-Joe Dixon, who in a drunken haze had polite conversation with a Frenchman, and allowed him to leave unmolested.  Poor Bubba was haunted into his grave by the ghost of Jefferson Davis, who kept appearing behind him every time he looked in a mirror.  Unable to shave, Bubba eventually was asphyxiated by his own sideburns, which grew around his neck.

    Horrible, horrible.

    But we are learned folks, Doktor Squid, and we put no stock in such mummery.  We know that ghosts don’t really exist, and therefore do not haunt mirrors.  Giant insects in the toilet, maybe, but certainly no ghosts in reflective surfaces.

    We also know that cities aren’t haunted, even if they are built on thick stacks of bones.  Tucson, for example, may SEEM haunted, but that’s just because there’s so much Dumb here.  We have so much Dumb, in fact, that we have begun to bottle it and ship it to teabaggers all over the country, in hopes of revitalizing their flagging demonstration turn-outs.  No worries, though, as Dumb is an infinite resource, and more flows down from Phoenix just as fast as we can bottle it.

    We’ve found that if we DON’T export some of it, even the police start texting while driving, and the city council makes enormous blunders, such as buying new trolleys that don’t actually fit on the tracks quite right, and result in horrible accidents.  No fatalities yet, but I have faith.

    Speaking of which, how are you guys doing down there?  You need any bottles of Dumb?  We’re practically giving it away, here.  For a low, low price, you too can have a governor like Jan Brewer, and people who faithfully signal left before making a right turn.  Oddly enough, the population doesn’t seem to shrink, no matter how many horrible fatalities result from driving while on this stuff.  We have it in 5 gallon pails and 55 gallon drums, ready for your order.

    Who are we?

    And if that doesn’t interest you, sell us your husband.  We have need of subjects for some new SCIENCE we want to try out.  Our credit is good.  We have sold many pairs of shattered panties on E-Bay, and we’re floating in cash.  There’s a better than average chance you’ll get him back, though not in “factory condition”.  Especially if he struggles (after the infamous “pink glove” incident, we have taken to feeding the subjects pre-roofied beer). 
     
    And when he returns, he will be the model husband, compliant in every way, though you may need to put a ball gag in his mouth(s), as he may occasionally scream every five fucking minutes in his sleep every night.  All new attachments should fall off on their own within two weeks or so, and if they don’t, why we’ll just send Nurse Fracture and Nurse Enabler down with the extraction tools and some gauze. 

    And there’s no charge for the extra orifices and/or cranial piercings.  Give me a ring, and we’ll arrange all the details.  Act now, this is a limited time offer (as our procedure may or may not be legislated when the nosy tards up in Phoenix start wondering where all the sideshow freaks are coming from.).

    It is very difficult to explain the frustrations of attempting SCIENCE in a state run by religious whackjobs who don’t understand the scientific process, who don’t realize that it is sometimes necessary to propel chinchillas into traffic.  Did anybody bitch at Schroedinger when he might have killed some cats in that box of his?  They should have looked in the box a minute early, by the way, to see if they could catch the universe cheating, red-handed.  They never listen.  It pains me.

    And did anyone complain when Albert Einstein used bunny rabbits to prove that matter and energy were the same thing?  No, we were a hardier people then, and exploded rabbits didn’t get people all riled up.  If he tried that today, he’d be up to his arse in screaming hippies and PETA freaks.

    This country is going to the dogs, I tell ya.  When an honest scientist can’t go about his business doing SCIENCE to things, you know we’re sliding back into the mud.  Well, I warned you all, and now you’ll be at the mercy of the teabaggers, who want your kids to understand that chemistry works because Baby Jesus says so, and that a god intentionally designed us like this.

    You never hear of the Chinese having problems like this, and they do SCIENCE to people every damn day...And we call ourselves a “free people”.

    Well, that’s enough ranting.  Box your husband up (do NOT forget the air holes, that’s really important), and ship him to my return address.  Nurse Fracture has a particularly interesting new implant that she wants to try out, that will allow your husband to listen to Clay Aiken twenty-four hours/day.  The possibilities are staggering.  The defense department is going to be all over this shit, for when they do SCIENCE to people at Camp X-Ray...And, soon enough, in a town near you!

    Okay for now,
    Dok

    PS:  Also, if you send him bulk rate, you’ll want to throw in a 4 pound bag of dog food and a couple of gallon jugs of water.  The post office here is not precisely the model of alacrity, and if he shows up dead, we won’t honor the invoice.

    2011-06-19 07:32:15 LINK: Re: Fucked Up Mailing List 2011: Round 2, boardID=2

  • Jenne

    Re: Spagbook

    WHO ARE WE KIDDING?  You're gorgeous in all of 'em.


    ...but the 2d pair is the CLEAR winner, here.

    2011-07-24 21:54:38 LINK: Re: Spagbook, boardID=2

  • Eater of Clowns

    Re: Quotes of the Moment II

    Who are we to get in the way of that person's dreams?  I fully support their move to North Korea, paradise.

    2011-08-08 19:43:19 LINK: Re: Quotes of the Moment II, boardID=2

  • Doktor Howl

    Re: Today I learned...

    : LMNO, PhD (life continues)  
    :mittens:

    Howl wins a Teabag.

    Fuck yeah.

    Then I can dunk it in a teacup, so I don't violate my parade permit.

    Because I'm a Goddamn revolutionary.  I'm the 21st century, crawling its way to your town on my Rascal scooter.  I am here to spread the good word, here to tell you that if we stop taxing billionaires, they'll give us all jobs, like in the GOOD OLD DAYS, before women.

    Who are we?

    2011-08-29 09:45:10 LINK: Re: Today I learned..., boardID=2

  • Kai

    Re: Perry: Government you can TRUST.

    : Net  
    : ϗ, M.S.  
    : Cain  
    Possibly.  I've thought Behavioural Economics may work as a framework, also.

    Anything that acknowledges that humans are social animals whose interactions are based largely in dominance hierarchy struggles and due to memory problems, poor future sense and cognitive bias will often take perceived short term gain over rational best interest is much better than the farce which is being prescribed right now.

    Though my opinion on this doesn't carry much weight, I agree.

    Monetary incentives only accurately model a tiny slice of human behavior, and only in very limited contexts, according to RSAnimate.

    Yes. They would be modeled much better by the four following things:

    1) Survival. Money can fit into this, but only so far; if survival needs are provided for there is no more incentive to increase the pool towards this end. This is why people who are well off are survival stupid.

    2) Reproductive fitness: In bisexual mating systems, the sex with the least reproductive cost is more promiscuous, and that with the less is more choosy. Males in humans are more promiscuous, and females more choosy, due to the difference in gamete size, physiological nurturing and parental care of the young. This trumps everything, as humans wouldn't be around if it didn't.

    3) Social status: Males who have high social status have less worry about survival and more access to females. Females with high social status are much the same, but instead of more access they have more ability to choose. Reproductive fitness still trumps social status, as can seen by all the male politicians who get caught fucking their secretaries. Social incentive would dictate not doing this, but reproductive incentive is far stronger. Let me be clear, most of them are not thinking "I want to impregnate my secretary", but it's a linked response. Sex feels good, because it increases the likelyhood of reproduction occurring. Now, you may be asking, "then why aren't there orgies in the streets?" Because, dear reader, female choice establishes an arms race between male and female sexes, males to defeat female choice, and females to enhance it. Social status can trump survival, especially if it leads to an increase in fitness.

    4) Entertainment. For much the same reason there is sexual incentive. Being entertained feels good, and feeling good is an incentive for doing something, whether social or sexual or survival. But pleasure often becomes linked to things which are not associated with any of the above, so entertainment can be a driver for human behavior, though not as strong as the above things (despite prevailing stupidity; think "hey guys, watch this!").


    And lest anyone call me on this, /YES/ I DID pull this out of my ass. So there. It still works better than thinking people work on monetary incentives, with millions of years without money as a selection pressure to change behavior. Plenty of selection pressures on survival, reproductive fitness and social status, though. Entertainment is just incedentally linked through pleasure and survival.

    2011-09-04 21:45:52 LINK: Re: Perry: Government you can TRUST., boardID=25

  • Sepia

    Septembers with song



    For Weill


    The coffee burns our stomach, the pills, the drugs, the disconnection from reality by bringing it in hyper style- to connect is to sever

    The drums snare with their beats, throbbing things making us believe they are the hearts and we hear them in the cities we hear them in the forests we hear them atop mountains we hear them in peoples homes we hear them on the street we hear them on the docks we hear they keep hanging around schools we hear they take our women and our jobs and we don't like the idea even though it's the only that will work with our way of life, we'd like to think we can do it like they did when we grew up but it's a braver new world with moores law applied to a whole society and some times I feel like time is speeding up, I swear that I can just feel time spinning faster

    It's the cloud, we can see as we walk it, prophesized children in a universe we know more about than our own, one mans ideas can change everything and it seems like all gods, the force included, moves in mysterious ways but who are we to challenge the supremacy of technology- our legacy, our evolution. The only sense of evolution we will gather in our civilization

    Something that separates us from the barbarians is how we treat our dead. In out peripheral visions we see the mourning, a mound of dirt soon to be placed back to where it once was but the dirt is holy because we said so and we all weep but for different reasons, some for a loss, others for a farce, others still for joy, others for custom and tradition, one does not ask what you pray to god for so none asks why their sister cries, why their brother cries, other tears will follow and your muscle memory will not remember this wake and perhaps you will and perhaps you will recall it as you grow older how to throw a wake or how not to because this world just keeps getting braver

    Did you ask yourself What do I want from life and did you reply? Did you converse with yourself in your head thinking yourself partly mad but feeling so at home that your stomach churned, waiting for playful jack around next bend?

    I will never admire you your station

    2011-09-13 07:27:43 LINK: Septembers with song, boardID=9

  • Doktor Howl

    Re: Republican/Teabagger Legislation

    : Nigel  
    : Doktor Howl  
    Michigan passed a Financial Martial Law bill, which essentially established a Republican dictatorship in place of democracy by turning over to unelected emergency managers the powers to supersede legally elected local governments without oversight from those legally constituted local governments.

    See?  Now, THAT'S funny!

    More of what they've been asking for!

    Who are we to stand in the way of the will of The PeopleTM?

    2011-09-19 16:24:51 LINK: Re: Republican/Teabagger Legislation, boardID=25

  • Doktor Howl

    Re: My opinion > your opinion.

    : trix  

    : Doktor Howl  
    I don't have an opinion.  WE have an opinion.  And it is superior...Not because we are more talented, or generally cleverer than fuck, but because we're RIGHT and they're WRONG, and that's really all there is to it.
    :D
    Who is this we?  The royal we?  Discordians?  Doktors?  Bipeds?

    Anyone who isn't "they".  You.  Me.  Nigel.  Captain Kangaroo.  That nice old man that used to live down the street.  Try this simple test:  Turn on your TV and count the number of actual news broadcasting companies.  There's 6, for the whole world.  Now try googling, the way you used to, and see if you get the same results, or things that are more "trending" than what you thought you wanted to see when you logged on.  That's them.  We're us, and our job in life is to not become them, or let them push granny down the stairs for her own good.  They tell you WHAT to think, we just hope you think at all.

    Who are we?

    2011-10-09 10:36:55 LINK: Re: My opinion > your opinion., boardID=2

  • Payne

    Re: DEVASTATION DESTINY

    : LMNO, PhD (life continues)  
    : KILLJOY  
    WHY WOULD YOU EVEN CARE?

    WE CARE BECAUSE WE WANT TO GIVE YOU EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE ASKING FOR.  WE CARE BECAUSE WE TAKE PRIDE IN A JOB WELL DONE.  WE CARE SO WE CAN KNOW HOW TO BE DIFFERENT THAN YOU, SO AS NOT TO CONFORM.  WE CARE BECAUSE WE ARE PROFESSIONALS.

    WHO ARE WE?

    2011-10-12 08:28:21 LINK: Re: DEVASTATION DESTINY, boardID=1

  • Doktor Howl

    Re: DEVASTATION DESTINY

    : The Good Reverend Payne  
    : LMNO, PhD (life continues)  
    : KILLJOY  
    WHY WOULD YOU EVEN CARE?

    WE CARE BECAUSE WE WANT TO GIVE YOU EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE ASKING FOR.  WE CARE BECAUSE WE TAKE PRIDE IN A JOB WELL DONE.  WE CARE SO WE CAN KNOW HOW TO BE DIFFERENT THAN YOU, SO AS NOT TO CONFORM.  WE CARE BECAUSE WE ARE PROFESSIONALS.

    WHO ARE WE?

    We're the happy people.  The people who want you to be happy.  Let's just say that you're a "basket case", you lost all of your limbs fighting in Iraq for Halliburton's bottom line.  How would that make you feel?  Well, thanks to our proven technology, your shattered dreams of today can be your nightmare of tomorrow!  And all for 20% less than our competition!

    Who are we?

    2011-10-12 08:32:03 LINK: Re: DEVASTATION DESTINY, boardID=1

  • Doktor Howl

    Re: DEVASTATION DESTINY

    : Science me, babby  
    : Doktor Howl  
    : Science me, babby  
    Dok, if it's a teenager, of COURSE it's an idiot.  That's like, the definition of teenager (except for yours).

    But i think you're right about poptard.

    Doesn't matter, anyway.  Anarcho-punks are damn near as fun as teabaggers are, maybe more.

    And God knows we can't get a tea party member to post at all.

    Because people like you and Payne fuck it all up for everyone.

    Hey, they're asking for it, being all sexy and petulantly obtuse and shit.

    Who are we?

    2011-10-12 08:56:26 LINK: Re: DEVASTATION DESTINY, boardID=1

  • LMNO

    Re: DEVASTATION DESTINY

    : Doktor Howl  
    : Science me, babby  
    : Doktor Howl  
    : Science me, babby  
    Dok, if it's a teenager, of COURSE it's an idiot.  That's like, the definition of teenager (except for yours).

    But i think you're right about poptard.

    Doesn't matter, anyway.  Anarcho-punks are damn near as fun as teabaggers are, maybe more.

    And God knows we can't get a tea party member to post at all.

    Because people like you and Payne fuck it all up for everyone.

    Hey, they're asking for it, being all sexy and petulantly obtuse and shit.

    Who are we?

    We're the helpful people.  The people who give you what you want, not what you asked for.  The people who know the words you use are masks for the festering scabs peeling off the sorry excuse you have for a soul.  We're the fixers.  The helpers.  The people who will make things better for you, until your skin starts to soften and melt because of all the help we have to give.

    Who are we?

    2011-10-12 08:59:36 LINK: Re: DEVASTATION DESTINY, boardID=1

  • Doktor Howl

    Re: DEVASTATION DESTINY

    : LMNO, PhD (life continues)  

    We're the helpful people.  The people who give you what you want, not what you asked for.  The people who know the words you use are masks for the festering scabs peeling off the sorry excuse you have for a soul.  We're the fixers.  The helpers.  The people who will make things better for you, until your skin starts to soften and melt because of all the help we have to give.

    Who are we?

    We're the robot people.  We teach you to be robots.  We're the people who tell you where to put it, and when.  We make things safe and happy and fun, and all at a price that our competitors can't come near!  We put granny on the stairs, because the humans have to be protected.

    Who are we?

    2011-10-12 09:02:01 LINK: Re: DEVASTATION DESTINY, boardID=1

  • Mistress Freeky

    Re: DEVASTATION DESTINY

    : Doktor Howl  

    Who are we?

    We're the clean people.  We clean up your messes, and boy are those messes something!  Your messes are so huge that they cover the entire globe.  But don't you fret, for a nominal fee and the price of FREEDOMTM you can stop worrying about those messes tonight!  For a limited time only and your child's future, we can blame the mess on Them!  Order now, stock is limited!

    2011-10-12 09:02:12 LINK: Re: DEVASTATION DESTINY, boardID=1

  • Doktor Howl

    Re: DEVASTATION DESTINY

    : Science me, babby  
    : Doktor Howl  

    Who are we?

    We're the clean people.  We clean up your messes, and boy are those messes something!  Your messes are so huge that they cover the entire globe.  But don't you fret, for a nominal fee and the price of FREEDOMTM you can stop worrying about those messes tonight!  For a limited time only and your child's future, we can blame the mess on Them!  Order now, stock is limited!

    We're the clean-up people.  We clean your head up.  No more worrying about the government or the banks or who's minding the fort, or driving the train, or walking into the building with a suspicious package!  Order today, and we'll do all the cleaning, everywhere, and there'll me no more sticky people walking up the underside of your stairwells.

    Who are we?

    2011-10-12 09:04:13 LINK: Re: DEVASTATION DESTINY, boardID=1

  • Mistress Freeky

    Re: DEVASTATION DESTINY

    : Doktor Howl  
    : Science me, babby  
    : Doktor Howl  

    Who are we?

    We're the clean people.  We clean up your messes, and boy are those messes something!  Your messes are so huge that they cover the entire globe.  But don't you fret, for a nominal fee and the price of FREEDOMTM you can stop worrying about those messes tonight!  For a limited time only and your child's future, we can blame the mess on Them!  Order now, stock is limited!

    We're the clean-up people.  We clean your head up.  No more worrying about the government or the banks or who's minding the fort, or driving the train, or walking into the building with a suspicious package!  Order today, and we'll do all the cleaning, everywhere, and there'll me no more sticky people walking up the underside of your stairwells.

    Who are we?

    We're the shiny people.  We make everything shine up all shiny and clean.  See those smudges on your clothes, in the news, those people walking's skin?  Not anymore you don't!  We get rid of the smudges and put good old fashioned American Values Shine(c) in its place, because that's what you deserve.  Isn't it time everything in your world was Shined?

    2011-10-12 09:11:04 LINK: Re: DEVASTATION DESTINY, boardID=1

  • LMNO

    Re: DEVASTATION DESTINY

    : Science me, babby  
    Who are we?

    We're the values people.  We have them.  You need them.  We're the people who will give it to you.  We'll tell you the right™ things to think, and the right™ things to say.  We've done the leg work for you.  We're the offering people.  We're happy to let you have the right™ values.  We're the people who know that what you're thinking is wrong.  The knowing people.  The people who want you to be happy.  Happy like us.

    Who are we?

    2011-10-12 09:26:21 LINK: Re: DEVASTATION DESTINY, boardID=1

  • Doktor Howl

    Re: DEVASTATION DESTINY

    We're the janitor people.  We clean and fix your fucked up thread.  No need to thank us, citizen, it's why we're here.  You're why we're here.  And when you're gone, we'll be gone, too.

    Who are we?

    2011-10-12 09:32:54 LINK: Re: DEVASTATION DESTINY, boardID=1

  • Payne

    Re: DEVASTATION DESTINY

    : Doktor Howl  
    We're the janitor people.  We clean and fix your fucked up thread.  No need to thank us, citizen, it's why we're here.  You're why we're here.  And when you're gone, we'll be gone, too.

    Who are we?

    We're the thinking people. We package all your ideas with a nice little branded bow so people know you got the good stuff. We digest every kernal of information and discard the unneccessary and the distasteful, leaving you with that gleaming tidbit of fact you can use to trump anyone who doesn't use our brand of knowledge. We do all this thinking for you out of love, and you love us for it.

    Who are we?

    2011-10-12 09:56:31 LINK: Re: DEVASTATION DESTINY, boardID=1

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition

    Welcome aboard, Flashlight dude.  You may have by now noticed that we're a collection of insufferable jackasses.  We kind of like it that way, and we hope you do, too.  If not, you are by now asking yourself "who are these assholes?"

    We're the rectum people.  We pound sand up rectums, with an efficiency only dreamed of by your grandfather's generation.  How CAN we maintain that kind of quality at such rock bottom prices?  Glad you asked.  We do it by using the technology of tomorrow on the innocent passers-by of today.  Our patented process guarantees that every grain of sand goes up, or triple your money back!

    You won't see our competitors offering that kind of warranty.  No, they are ankle people.  They stop at the ankle.  We, on the other hand, insist that the knee is the FIRST acceptable stopping place of the great boot o' correction, and our complaints department are the loneliest people on Earth!  After all, when you pay your hard-earned dollar for a boot up the arse, we know you want the whole ride.

    Contact our sales representatives:

    Badbeast - A complete cunt of an Englishman, who exists solely to heave bricks through the windows of Maggie Thatcher's mansion.

    Doktor Zero - A science experiment gone horribly wrong, she preys upon the webbed-toed dwellers of Southern Illinois.

    East Coast Hustle - 169% Genuine sailor man, eats spinach and pounds Bluto into pulped meat, just because he can.

    Dark Empress Nigel - She strangled Oakland.  No, that's not an obscure sports term.

    Professor Cramulus - aka "The Mad Taxidermist of Upstate New York."

    Freeky - She'll bend your fucking space time.

    Call today.  Quantities are apparently unlimited, but why wait?  Your colon deserves the finest sifted sands from the four corners of Tucson, and we pride ourselves on our delivery!

    Who are we?

    2011-12-06 18:46:34 LINK: Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition, boardID=2

  • Mistress Freeky

    Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition

    We're the easy people.  We're the people who are easy to contact, easy on the eyes, easy to lose track of, easy to miss.  We're easy to ignore, and that's the way we like it.  It's easy to ignore the things that people who are easy to ignore do, and what is it that we do?  Why, nothing at all, good sir, if you'll just sign here thank you, now I simply must dash, lots to do, oh it's no big thing, noise? I heard no noise, sir, ah hah, you must have been hearing things.  You want to be an easy target? Why of course you do, what a silly question.  Anyone who's anyone these days does, and let me tell you, not just anyone is!  However, for a limited time only, for a very modest fee and reasonable payments (call our service representatives NOW!) you, too, can be what you always wanted to be, and its so very easy to become so!

    Who are we?

    2011-12-06 18:54:52 LINK: Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition, boardID=2

  • Nigel

    Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition

    We're the quality control people. Is something bothering your assbox? Come to us! After our five-point inspection (never you mind, that's just what Freeky does with that orifice) we'll be able to tell you EXACTLY what's wrong with you. Help you fix it? AHAHAHA. No, but seriously, that's not our department. Hold still, this might sting a little.

    Who are we?

    2011-12-06 18:57:58 LINK: Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition, boardID=2

  • phoenixofdiscordia

    Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition

    We're the fix-it people. Fix the gears in your head for just 15 installments of $999, and a little sliding scale gratuity. Nonsense doesn't come out easily, and our trained staff is happy to take what tools they can find to that skull of yours.

    Who are we?

    2011-12-06 19:01:42 LINK: Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition, boardID=2

  • LMNO

    Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition

    We're the upside-down people. The Chop and Scratch people. We have our ears to the ground, listening. Listening to what you're REALLY asking for. And we'll GIVE it to you. You may not have known what you were asking for, but no matter. We understand what's best. We know. Hours of research in places where the corners aren't quite right have given us... Perspective. And most importantly, Access. Never you mind how we found that "special" drawer in your closet. We like to get close with our clients. Because its the personal touch that means so much. So don't be shocked when you find that the shortness of breath that comes late at night is just our way of getting right up close. Right on top of you, you might say. Who are we?

    2011-12-06 19:09:43 LINK: Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition, boardID=2

  • Eater of Clowns

    Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition

    We're the fun people.  Really that's it, just some good folks who are good at having fun.  The fun around here is constant.  It's unyielding, you might say.  We've become so good at finding the fun in everything that we've found it where nobody thought you could find it before.  We know when to let the right chimps in your head take over and toss your unwieldy meat appendages around in a relentless search for a good time.  Times like these we close our eyes and let the fun happen in the messiest way possible.  And we want, so badly, for you to join in on the fun.  Not because we're nice people, of course, but because the only thing more fun that having this kind of fun ourselves is watching others get into precisely that kind of fun.

    Who are we?

    2011-12-06 19:16:55 LINK: Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition, boardID=2

  • LMNO

    Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition

    Fun. FUN FUN FUN.






    We're the laughing and screaming people. Who are we?

    2011-12-06 19:19:37 LINK: Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition, boardID=2

  • phoenixofdiscordia

    Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition

    We're the horror people. Horrific, horrifying, and horrendous all rolled into one. The screaming will eventually fade into a dull thrumming monotone if you stand there long enough. It could be worse, after all. It could be you screaming. What's that you say? It is? Begging your pardon, friend, but I'm quite sure that's me you hear.

    Who are we?

    2011-12-06 19:22:54 LINK: Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition, boardID=2

  • LMNO

    Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition

    We're the abyss people. We've turned the corner and found the abject lack of meaning that lurks behind your deepest fears. AND WE FRENCH KISSED IT.  We embraced it with all our strength, and then wrestled it to the ground, and ate it. Swallowed the nothingness, the absence, the empty-eyed forever, with a soured, bitter grimace. Because we've reached the end of the end, where not even a beginning can burst through the unending void of the universe. Because we're the next people. The before people. Who are we?

    2011-12-06 19:29:00 LINK: Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition, boardID=2

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition

    We're the empty people.  The injection molded people.  The plastic people on your television that you hurry home to see every day!  And you can take comfort in the fact that we're just as empty as we seem, as empty as the people who creep up the down side of your stairs.  When you turn off the television, we stop existing...Because we're here for you.  And when you're old and infirm, and confined in an iron lung that keeps you utterly immobile, we'll come and visit you in person!  Won't this be fun?  Because we're empty, and you're not.

    Who are we?

    2011-12-06 19:37:44 LINK: Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition, boardID=2

  • Ferka Zarco

    Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition

    We're the honest people. Wholesome, down to earth, home-baked people individually wrapped and packaged in plastic, polystyrene and cardboard. Just like Mama used to make. We remember what Childhood™ was like, even if you don't, and we'll remind you if you let us in.

    We're the innocent people. Organic. Grassroots. We're your sort of people. We're the neighbourly people, all smiles and casual greetings over the fence. Perfect little families like they show on TV to make you feel guilty for your perversions.

    Don't worry, we deal in redemption.

    Because we're the maintenance people. Invisible like, but we're the reason that with the push of a button, you can be immediately rewarded with what it is you crave. You're the boss, see? We're just the helpful people. People serving people. We clean and grease the tubes so things can be delivered on time, any time, all the time. It never stops.

    It never stops.

    We're the relentless people. Filling your subscriptions, just calling to see if you have time to take a survey and rate our service, wanted to come by and upgrade your signal, long-distance phone service, internet.

    Who are we?

    2011-12-06 19:46:40 LINK: Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition, boardID=2

  • LMNO

    Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition

    We're the HUNGRY people. We want what you have. Because we don't have it. But we want it. And you're. Of using it. You sit there, just giving it away for the most banal of reasons, and we're starting to think that you don't have any reasons to start with. So you won't be missing them. Because you don't care about them. But we do. Because we can use them. Use them to bring you the things you want. The things you ask for, when you stare into the horizon. Because that's what you asked for. To give up your responsibility. And we can make it useful. To make you a better person. Who are we?

    2011-12-06 19:49:39 LINK: Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition, boardID=2

  • Netaungrot

    Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition

    We're the poop hamburger people. The radical recycling people. The friends in your septic tank people. We're reclaiming the edibles out of your fecal matter today before a food crisis swallows up America tomorrow. We're the flavor people. We know how to make a steak that falls apart in your mouth, not on your fork. We're the texture people. We use only the most intact corn husks for your chewing experience. Never too soft, never too tough, our meat food will never let you down! Stop flushing money down the toilet and call us today. We're the gourmet bacteria people. The waste not, want not people.

    Who are we?

    2011-12-06 19:52:26 LINK: Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition, boardID=2

  • phoenixofdiscordia

    Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition

    We're the shiny people. Bright as silver, hard as diamonds, sharp as glass, and clear as crystal. Look at our luster and despair. The sheen of our eyes is the same no matter what befalls. You can't stop the light.

    Who are we?

    2011-12-06 19:54:07 LINK: Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition, boardID=2

  • Mistress Freeky

    Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition

    We're the festive people.  We're the people equivalent of an empty subway station turntable, decked out with tiny white lights in long strings, with old-timey Christmas music playing in the background.  "Ringaling- ringaling- ringaling- ringaling- ri.."  Nothing moving, nothing living.  We're just waiting for someone to come help us decorate, you know?  The place just needs a bit of sprucing.  Bit of atmosphere.  PURPLE AND RED STREAMERS.  Yes, that is what this place needs.  And YOU are the just the guy we needed to help us.  You are the one who will be bringing the decorations.

    Oh my goodness yes.

    Who are we?

    2011-12-06 19:56:39 LINK: Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition, boardID=2

  • Kai

    Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition

    We're the science people. We give you exactly what you wanted, because that's exactly what we wanted. We're the university people, the laboratory people, the bright people up in in that tower making all the big technological discoveries.  We're the pharmacy people, giving the exact pills you need to put that beautiful smile on your face. And we do it because we love you and humanity. Never mind those chemicals burning through the floor, that's just our latest experiment. Never mind the blood on the wall, just a shaving accident. Trust us, we're doctors. And we only want whats best for you. We're the busy people, the people down in the basement late at night, the people working hard pressing buttons and pulling levers. We're the people with the letters after our names and white coats around our middles. And you wouldn't want anyone else! Only the very best and brightest to keep you wonderful. Now, won't you please step up to the table? It will only hurt for a second, I promise.

    Who are we?

    2011-12-06 20:05:36 LINK: Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition, boardID=2

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition

    We're the Scots people.  We fight each other while the English army looks on incredulously, waiting to mop up whomever is left. 

    Who are we?

     :lulz:

    2011-12-07 08:14:11 LINK: Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition, boardID=2

  • phoenixofdiscordia

    Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition

    We're the abandoned people. We pick up the scraps of others, and are lucky to find those cast away by the privileged and the elite. But we're also the proud people. We do not admit that we are rejected and so reject others and one another.

    We are the final people. A sinking ship full of rats who each want to be the last off.

    Who are we?

    2011-12-07 08:25:06 LINK: Re: INTRODUCTIONS, Pt 4; The Gilbert & Sullivan Edition, boardID=2

  • triple zero

    Re: ITT: SHARE AVAILABLE DOMAIN NAMES

    : Beardman Meow  
    ALLCAPITALLETTERS.COM
    ARGUE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. INVENT SWEAR WORDS.

    when is Cram's birthday?

    TheWorstForum.com
    Redirect to principiadiscordia.com/forum.

    I can endlessly amuse myself by seeing "worst" as the Dutch word for "sausage".

    LimitedFunctionality.com
    Don't know how to make a website? Draw one in MSPaint and host it here.

    :lulz:

    HatePeople.com
    Self-explanatory.

    Who are we?

    2011-12-07 23:52:41 LINK: Re: ITT: SHARE AVAILABLE DOMAIN NAMES, boardID=23

  • Nigel

    Re: ITT: SHARE AVAILABLE DOMAIN NAMES

    : Triple Zero  
    : Beardman Meow  
    ALLCAPITALLETTERS.COM
    ARGUE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. INVENT SWEAR WORDS.

    when is Cram's birthday?

    TheWorstForum.com
    Redirect to principiadiscordia.com/forum.

    I can endlessly amuse myself by seeing "worst" as the Dutch word for "sausage".

    LimitedFunctionality.com
    Don't know how to make a website? Draw one in MSPaint and host it here.

    :lulz:

    HatePeople.com
    Self-explanatory.

    Who are we?


    Hahahaha this is totally the sausage forum!

    2011-12-07 23:59:46 LINK: Re: ITT: SHARE AVAILABLE DOMAIN NAMES, boardID=23

  • Nigel

    Re: ITT: SHARE AVAILABLE DOMAIN NAMES

    Also, if you can somehow harvest all of the "Who are we?"s from the forum and incorporate them into that site, it would be beyond epic.

    2011-12-08 00:04:05 LINK: Re: ITT: SHARE AVAILABLE DOMAIN NAMES, boardID=23

  • triple zero

    Re: ITT: SHARE AVAILABLE DOMAIN NAMES

    : Nigel  
    Also, Trip, wow. My nipples just got hard and I must disperse this far and wide.

    Oh dear.

    That must be the worst case scenario.

    : Nigel  
    Also, if you can somehow harvest all of the "Who are we?"s from the forum and incorporate them into that site, it would be beyond epic.

    That's a good idea.

    I should probably also scrounge the "black & wtf" blog for more gasmask pictures (that's where I got em). Seriously, anybody any idea wtf is up with all those vintage B&W photos of people with gasmasks in everyday situations?

    2011-12-08 04:28:40 LINK: Re: ITT: SHARE AVAILABLE DOMAIN NAMES, boardID=23

  • Luna

    Re: No more sermons, no more rants.

    : Nyx  
    : LMNO, PhD (life continues)  
    It's late, and I've had wine, but I can't believe that I'm the only one who's noticed this: in the five or six years of posting here, and despite the petty interfaith shit flinging we do on a regular basis, there is this.

    We have reached consensus.

    Our little tribe has done a LOT of talking, and we've changed our minds quite a bit. TOWARDS each other.

    Our core ideals and outlook are, at their heart, aligned. We've stripped away the outer biases, and now we only fight over our inner ones.

    Who's going to argue over TGRRs prophecy? Cain's insights? Cram's IRL plots? Kai's science?  ECH's cooking?

    We transformed from a bunch of strangers figuring things out into a group of friends, relating our daily struggles.

    I don't really know how to say this without it sounding sort of insistent, but:
    Wouldn't this be the time to compile all of these core ideals and observations into another Principa-level document? A sort of "progress report"? Maybe?


    I like this idea.  (And, hi, Nyx, I don't think we've met.)

    It has also sparked another idea...

    What do y'all think of a project tentatively called, "Who Are We?"  This is off the top of my head, suggestions are welcome.

    I'll collect pieces we write about each other.  No hit pieces, but not just gushing, tell me how you see somebody.  Several somebodies.  Make them funny, make them interesting, make them real, make them up.  Email them to me (one spag per email), I'll try my hand at editing them together, pick the best few I get for each poster.

    Also to include, send me your best "Who are we?" bits.  (I love those, but will only use the ones you send, since that'd be permission... and search is borked, and they happen in random places.

    Essays about the place in general.  What is peedee.com?  Tell me about shit here.  Tell me about douchenozzle n00bs.  Tell me about how we make you think, how we make you feel.

    Default will be no author names, unless requested.  Don't ask me "who wrote that?"  I ain't saying, but if somebody recognizes your writing style, it ain't my fault.

    If someone does not want pieces about them included, I will respect that, of course, just drop me an email.  If y'all prefer, I can run the finished "this is what I have on you" by people before it goes up for an, "oh, god, no."

    Pics.  Artwork.  WOMPs.

    What do you think?  Format will probably be a webpage, unless somebody wants to hold my hand through making something paper out of it.

    2011-12-20 05:29:39 LINK: Re: No more sermons, no more rants., boardID=2

  • Nephew Twiddleton

    Re: No more sermons, no more rants.

    : Luna  
    : Nyx  
    : LMNO, PhD (life continues)  
    It's late, and I've had wine, but I can't believe that I'm the only one who's noticed this: in the five or six years of posting here, and despite the petty interfaith shit flinging we do on a regular basis, there is this.

    We have reached consensus.

    Our little tribe has done a LOT of talking, and we've changed our minds quite a bit. TOWARDS each other.

    Our core ideals and outlook are, at their heart, aligned. We've stripped away the outer biases, and now we only fight over our inner ones.

    Who's going to argue over TGRRs prophecy? Cain's insights? Cram's IRL plots? Kai's science?  ECH's cooking?

    We transformed from a bunch of strangers figuring things out into a group of friends, relating our daily struggles.

    I don't really know how to say this without it sounding sort of insistent, but:
    Wouldn't this be the time to compile all of these core ideals and observations into another Principa-level document? A sort of "progress report"? Maybe?


    I like this idea.  (And, hi, Nyx, I don't think we've met.)

    It has also sparked another idea...

    What do y'all think of a project tentatively called, "Who Are We?"  This is off the top of my head, suggestions are welcome.

    I'll collect pieces we write about each other.  No hit pieces, but not just gushing, tell me how you see somebody.  Several somebodies.  Make them funny, make them interesting, make them real, make them up.  Email them to me (one spag per email), I'll try my hand at editing them together, pick the best few I get for each poster.

    Also to include, send me your best "Who are we?" bits.  (I love those, but will only use the ones you send, since that'd be permission... and search is borked, and they happen in random places.

    Essays about the place in general.  What is peedee.com?  Tell me about shit here.  Tell me about douchenozzle n00bs.  Tell me about how we make you think, how we make you feel.

    Default will be no author names, unless requested.  Don't ask me "who wrote that?"  I ain't saying, but if somebody recognizes your writing style, it ain't my fault.

    If someone does not want pieces about them included, I will respect that, of course, just drop me an email.  If y'all prefer, I can run the finished "this is what I have on you" by people before it goes up for an, "oh, god, no."

    Pics.  Artwork.  WOMPs.

    What do you think?  Format will probably be a webpage, unless somebody wants to hold my hand through making something paper out of it.

    Hmm. I'll see what I have floating around in my head.

    2011-12-20 05:39:09 LINK: Re: No more sermons, no more rants., boardID=2

  • Luna

    Who Are We?

    : Luna  
    : Nyx  
    : LMNO, PhD (life continues)  
    It's late, and I've had wine, but I can't believe that I'm the only one who's noticed this: in the five or six years of posting here, and despite the petty interfaith shit flinging we do on a regular basis, there is this.

    We have reached consensus.

    Our little tribe has done a LOT of talking, and we've changed our minds quite a bit. TOWARDS each other.

    Our core ideals and outlook are, at their heart, aligned. We've stripped away the outer biases, and now we only fight over our inner ones.

    Who's going to argue over TGRRs prophecy? Cain's insights? Cram's IRL plots? Kai's science?  ECH's cooking?

    We transformed from a bunch of strangers figuring things out into a group of friends, relating our daily struggles.

    I don't really know how to say this without it sounding sort of insistent, but:
    Wouldn't this be the time to compile all of these core ideals and observations into another Principa-level document? A sort of "progress report"? Maybe?


    I like this idea.  (And, hi, Nyx, I don't think we've met.)

    It has also sparked another idea...

    What do y'all think of a project tentatively called, "Who Are We?"  This is off the top of my head, suggestions are welcome.

    I'll collect pieces we write about each other.  No hit pieces, but not just gushing, tell me how you see somebody.  Several somebodies.  Make them funny, make them interesting, make them real, make them up.  Email them to me (one spag per email), I'll try my hand at editing them together, pick the best few I get for each poster.

    Also to include, send me your best "Who are we?" bits.  (I love those, but will only use the ones you send, since that'd be permission... and search is borked, and they happen in random places.

    Essays about the place in general.  What is peedee.com?  Tell me about shit here.  Tell me about douchenozzle n00bs.  Tell me about how we make you think, how we make you feel.

    Default will be no author names, unless requested.  Don't ask me "who wrote that?"  I ain't saying, but if somebody recognizes your writing style, it ain't my fault.

    If someone does not want pieces about them included, I will respect that, of course, just drop me an email.  If y'all prefer, I can run the finished "this is what I have on you" by people before it goes up for an, "oh, god, no."

    Pics.  Artwork.  WOMPs.

    What do you think?  Format will probably be a webpage, unless somebody wants to hold my hand through making something paper out of it.

    Broken out of Roger's thread to see if it's got legs. 

    2011-12-22 02:09:28 LINK: Who Are We?, boardID=1

  • Luna

    Re: Who Are We?

    Great!  

    Anybody who wants to contribute, please do, keep 'em coming until it's done.

    Luna@princxxxxx.com, one piece per email, please.  (This is so I can sort 'em easier.)  It you remember to put something in the heading like "Who Are We? - LMNO" (or whoever you're writing about), I will be very happy.

    I don't expect people to spit this out quickly, take your time, and don't stress over the holidays over it.

    2011-12-22 05:54:06 LINK: Re: Who Are We?, boardID=1

  • LMNO

    Re: Who Are We?

    Hey, I found about ten pages worth of "who are we" rants from the boards.  I could post them here, or send them to you.  It might be fun to see them all collected together in one thread, but I don't want to clog it up.

    There are some real doozys.

    2011-12-22 06:02:36 LINK: Re: Who Are We?, boardID=1

  • Luna

    Re: Who Are We?

    : LMNO, PhD (life continues)  
    Hey, I found about ten pages worth of "who are we" rants from the boards.  I could post them here, or send them to you.  It might be fun to see them all collected together in one thread, but I don't want to clog it up.

    There are some real doozys.

    Post 'em up.  I won't use 'em without the author's OK, so if anybody sees theirs here and wants it in, gimme an OK.  Clog away, I love those.   :D

    2011-12-22 06:16:49 LINK: Re: Who Are We?, boardID=1

  • LMNO

    Re: Who Are We?

    Who are we?

    LMNO
    We're the control people.  The In Charge people.  The people who put Ends before Means.  The Living Large, Taking Charge people.  The people who invented phrases like "acceptable losses".  "Collateral damage".  "Mutually assured destruction". We're the requirement people.  We're the sorting process.  The ladder.  We're the big hen who pecks the smaller hen. We're the smaller hen, looking for something to peck.  We're the Conditional Charity people. The Regulatory people.  The Authority™ people.
    Who are we?

    TGRR
    We're the snarling bumper-to-bumper dog men who honk our horns in traffic jams.  We're the fat guy on a plane berating a young mother for her crying infant.  We're the jackass who puts his seat right back into your lap.  We're the crooked sheriff, the bent politician, the smarmy bureaucrat that smiles when he says "no".  We're your neighbors, your school teachers, your bus driver.
    Who are we?


    LMNO
    We're the Satisfied people.  The content people.  The people who see no need to go into the streets, because the couch is so comfortable.  We're the receptive people, the observers.  The people who believe what our parents, our teachers, our politicians, our priests tell us.  We're the people who do what we're told.  Who hate what we're told to hate.  We're the single-file people.  The sit up straight people. The status quo people.
    Who are we?


    RAT
    We're the people that like to write words. We're the people that like to think a post on a forum replaces action and supporting your troops in blog comments makes you a Real American. We're the people that have abandoned the community we live in, with their different opinions, different habits, different beliefs and we've replaced it with a virtual community that is virtually us. They agree with our views and they believe in our beliefs and they support our heroes and hate our enemies. We're the future, the future of everything. Our laws WILL pass (everyone I know already supports it!), our beliefs will prevail (I haven't talked to a person in months that disagrees with that!!), our Truth is the Truth and that other virtual community over there that disagrees are virtually imbeciles.
    Who are we?


    LMNO
    We're the Social People. People friending people. Informing our friends with how many they are. What they are. A numbers game. The more friends, the luckier they should feel to be one of those people. The group everybody wants to be part of. Your friends. Your people. The people that should know you're walking your dog. Instantly. Directly connected via the Web. Close to you. Just a few sticky strands away. Closer than would be possible or comfortable in reality. Our Tubes provide their nourishment. Always and everywhere.

    We’re the FARMVILLE people.  We're the people that farm your time.  Because you weren't doing anything with it anyway, right?  We make everything happy, even stoop-labor sharecropping.  Because if you can't BE a farmer, you can FEEL like one.  It's like the old days, only without all that annoying productivity.  We'd like to take you back to a simpler time, when farming took only a few hours a day.  Who are we?

    We're the FOURSQUARE people.  We know where you are, we know who you're with.  We can track you within a three meter radius.  We know when you've left your phone at home, and we know that you shouldn't be taking that right on red.  We know you're cheating on your wife, and we can track you from work to the porn shop on 86th street to home.  We can locate you, your family, and your pets.  Who are we?

    We're the 3G people, the network people.  You're in our phone network, checking your social network, staying perfectly still in that fragile overstretched web.  Can't struggle or it'll break, can't revolt or you're just falling.  We are contact, we are social livelihood, and as far as you know we always have been.  Your kids have only ever known it this way and you can't remember when it wasn't.  You can't remember a phone call as something you did for an activity instead of something you did while doing something else.  You can't remember agreeing to meet at a specific time and place in advance of leaving your house, can't remember planning.  Who are we?

    We're the people who give you what you need.  E-warmth.  E-Friends.  A place to put up all the private details of your life for the world to see.  Think of it this way:  Before, you had to go to great pains for strangers to get pictures and details about your children, and now you can do it in just minutes a day!  In your grandfather's day, stalkers and pedos were really hard to come by, but now you can have them all with just the click of a mouse, thanks to our state of the art technology and utter lack of annoying ethics!  Who are we?

    Who's Big Brother? 

    Not us.  We just provide the service.  That's what we do.  Sure you might have to look at a few tiny adds, but those are easy to ignore.  In fact, tell us if you don't liek them.  We'll find some better ones for you. 

    You chose to use the service.  You wanted to.  You thought it looked fun. 
    Have a weird view, or don't like somethign that's happeneing?  Please log in, post an update about it!  We're the people that provide the milieu.  Jsut so you can play with it.  Jsut so we can watch you play. 

    We're the line you follow.  Routes are hard and streets are confusing, especially because they're the last damn thing you had to think about dynamically.  There's a bright green line on the same screen that has your friends' smiling faces.  Just keep on that line.  You don't need to choose your own route and if you can't manage to do it we'll fix that line for you to follow again.  Don't stray, and give us your rapt attention.  There are beautiful things out the windows and relaxing daydreams to be had that'll only serve to get you irrevocably lost.  Then you're in a right fiasco because all the faces not on our screen are out to get you and none of them know the way even if you asked because they're following their own lines.  Listen to the voice that comes with the line.  It'll make you feel less alone.
    Who are we?


    RICHTER
    We're the web 3.0 people. We'll bring you the sights, the sounds, the sneak peak trailers right after this message.  The helpful adds that pop up when you roll over our banner, the seperate windows referring you to products associated with highlighted words.  Any marketing is good marketing, and we'll put good marketing anywhere.  Remember those web pages you used to surf?  Isolated islands and webrings hooked up only by links?  No need to use that now.  We'll show you the things that are the best matches to what you want, right at the tip of your search engine.
    Who are we?


    EOC
    We're the beginning.  We're upstart, fledgling.  A decade ago you would have laughed if we'd told you where we'd be today.  Just like you'd recoil in horror if we could tell you where we'll be a decade from now.  That isn't how we work, though.  When that day is actually here, you'll hardly blink an eye.  Who are we?  Second nature.  Intuition.  Thumb flick tap slide pinch click response.  You can't remember what a learning curve is.  The phrase has a dirty word in it, one that's opposite of accessible and open and easy.  What were we doing, when you thought we were making operation simpler for on-the-go?  We were minimizing down time, time away, your time.  Who are we?
    RICHTER
    We're the hip people.  The smiling faces in all those club night pictures you see three friends over from your.  The party people.  The ones having the good time at places you'll enver be allowed into, drinking the good drinks.  The noise is never loud to us and the crowd never a problem for us.  We're happy.  If you measure up, we might let you join us.
    Who are we?


    UNCLE WALLIFIED
    We're the political people.  We are the revolutionaries, the bold dreamers of a new era. We know you work hard, and we know that sometimes you get frustrated at the way the world goes round. You're tired of socialism, right? Aren't you tired of all those bleeding-heart liberals ruining the nation? We want you to know that that's ok. You do have options. You may not be able to afford them right now, but do things our way and you'll have plenty of money to pay for your own roads when the time finally comes. We promise. Who are we?

    JENNE
    We're the righteous people.  We give you all you need to feel you're right.  Think you're not?  That's OK!  We have plenty of bullhorns and misspelled signage that drowns those niggling little fears right away!  Afraid you might still be going to Hell?  Not to worry, we have all you need to feel the right way.  Sunday mornings, Wednesday evenings!  Coffee shops inside your local box church to make YOU feel right at home.  Consume your religion, and you'll get a Grade A bonus of sending the little ones who can't afford it Jesus Camp!  We donate 10% of our profits not to a prophet but to preach and teach to those nasty, sinning neighbors of yours!

    Who are we?  We're the people on YOUR side.  Right, wrong, indifferent?  That's ok!  We have a club for you!  You'll always belong, you'll always have a label.  We want you to fit in, fit right and move forward.  Nothing will get done, but you'll still feel like it is!  We'll funnel your tax money into the causes you think you want, and if you don't know what you want, we'll TELL you.  We're the people with answers, answers to questions you didn't even know existed!  Why suffer with education, information and soundbites no one understands anymore?

    We will tell you what you need to know, what you need to think, and which group you belong to.  You belong.  You belong with us.
    Who are we?


    GARBO
    We are your neighbors. The ones with the nicer car and the nicer house. Our kids are better, our wives prettier, our husbands more handsome, our pets cuter than yours. Your wife wants to have coffee with ours, your husband wants to bullshit with ours over the fence, your kids want to hang out with ours. Hell, you and yours want to be us.
    But you can't.
    Who are we?


    ROARING BISCUIT
    We're the enemies you haven't made yet, we're the friends you don't speak to anymore.  We're the people who used to care for you, and the people who still do.  We're the hippes and vegans and the people who think that making a statement is what matters.  Who are we?

    We're the dead flies on your windscreen, the skeletons in your closet.  We're the hedgehog crushed under your car tire when you were 17, and your girlfriend cried for an hour.  We're the wanderlust and the fear.

    We're the teachers, parents and friends who never believed in you.  We killed your dreams.  We're the dull pavement that carries you to work.  We're the hollow skyscrapers and the walls of your office cubicles.  We are the pathetic displays of individuality that you think are keeping you sane.  We are everything you hate and fear, and we define everything you love.

    We made you, and you will be ours.

    Who aren't we.

    LMNO
    We’re the tweeting people.  The updating people.  The people who desperately need to keep you informed of what is going on, in detailed minu

    tia, in 140 characters or less.  To describe to you our dog’s dietary habits, from both ends.  And where we are.  And that we just put anoth

    er $500 on our credit cards, almost maxed it out, ; - )  And to tell you exactly what we think about the latest reality show where desperate w

    omen whose best days have passed them by in exchange for silicon and imitation designer handbags suck up the brackish residue of celebrity in

    an attempt to salvage their long-ago abandoned hopes for love and stability, but are ultimately ground down into hair-pulling caricatures th

    at only make a mockery of your struggles to get through an ordinary day without eating the barrel of your grandfather’s service revolver.  LOL

    2011-12-22 06:19:07 LINK: Re: Who Are We?, boardID=1

  • LMNO

    Re: Who Are We?

    FUJIKOMA
    Who are we? We are the battered, bitter shells. We are the hollow product of broken glass homes. We keep quite while the world goes by. When you pass by you do not see us, when you look we are not there. We find our homes in cold, dark corners. We are the coming storm.

    Who are we? We are the children of tomorrow, of yesterday, but never of today. The outcasts, the unfriendly people. You see us when we act out, and you torment us when we do not. The sad people, the broken people, and deservedly so. We continue the cycle, we are the bitter fruit that stings the tongue.

    Who are we? We are the product of consumerism, the inadvertent outcome of nepotism, the slimy shades in back alleyways that melt into the eaves. We watch you while you are fortunate, we drag you down, and we take from you when you fall. We are the chosen fools, disciples of the madness you created, to which you show unconcern. We are a debt someone never paid, an obligation unfulfilled, this is who we are.
    Who are we?


    RWHN
    We're the people waiting for you to go first.  We talk a good game but never throw down.  We praise your good ideas and exhalt your plans.  We'll be right there behind you!  Well, actually, right after we wash our hair.  Then we're right there with you!  Oh, well, no, we have to renew our gym membership, I mean, it's gonna be a new year, we're going to hit the stair climbers for sure this year!  Then, we'll be ripped and ready to fight the good fight along side you...oh wait, we just remembered we need to clean up the hard drive.  That shouldn't take too long, and then, holy fuck are we ready to rumble!!!  Well, we probably should get a new bottle of asprin first.  We might get a headache while trying to fight The Man.  Go on ahead, we'll be there eventually, really, trust us, who are we?
    LMNO
    We're the glitch people.  The people in the back, wearing ties, throwing packets of fake blood and blaming the kids behind us.  The people who you see leaving last before the building collapses.  We're the fading people.  The people who simply aren't there when the riot cops show up.  The people you pass by every day, failing to comprehend the chaos left in our wake.  The ones who know how to get things done, but keep our heads down, our mouths shut.
    Who are we?

    TGRR
    We're the technical people.  The people that seem to be just another crowd of jackasses, but always seem to be gone 10 minutes before it happens.  The quiet people, the people who look sort of like you, but maybe grin a bit too much.  The people who don't seem to care about important things, like the troops and mom and apple pie, but never seem to ride in the back seat of the squad cars.
    Who are we?

    ADIOS (CHARLEY?)
    Sometimes you think you see us out of the corner of your eye, almost ethereal, but never there when you turn your head to look directly at us. We smile and occasionally laugh at your confusion and consternation. We are the ones who are aware of what goes on behind the scenes, which is all that really matters anyway, because everything else is just show and glitter. A whitewashed version of the truth.
    Who are we?


    LUNA
    We're the ones who realize that caring about everything is as useless as caring about nothing, and caring about everybody is as useless as caring about nobody.  We're the ones who can find the mirth under the horror and embrace it, despite it being covered with gore.  We're the ones who realize that the only thing really worth being serious about is having a good time.
    Who are we?


    NIGEL
    We're the salvage people. The people with the truck and the jumpsuits loading unknown debris from the abandoned building around the corner. We're the pitchfork people, the people you see at the side of the road cleaning up something you can't quite identify as you drive past. We're the lawn care people, and you've never asked what we use in the spray that keeps the grass so green. We're the people with the unmarked white trailer parked outside of your neighbor's house for three days, and you never see us move anything in or out of it but you know something's gone terribly wrong and you don't want to know, so you don't think of it, never think of it again. We're the people who clean up the mess so you don't have to. We do it for you; we're here to protect you from knowing.
    Who are we?

    TGRR
    We're the night time people.  We're the people who come in the night.  Remember Janis Joplin and Captain Kangaroo and that nice old man that used to live down the street?  Neither do we, because we're the clean-up people...We clean your neighborhood, and remove unsightly and unprofitable people who say things that make you think about things that you'd rather just ignore.
    Who are we?

    SYLPH
    We are the legion worshippers of magnaninous blood splattered Eris, she who set in motion certain events leading to the burning of Troy because nobody invited her to the party. Unsurprisingly, we don't get invited to a lot of parties. Inevitably, horrible things keep happening to you. Fair's Fair.
    Who are we?

    BAD BEAST
    We are the reviled, the deliberately misunderstood, the veterans of a truth so savage, the telling of which can send the strongest of men retreating into an ever increasing catatonia, that some never walk out from.
    We are the witnesses of the last honest man, and we carry his words, imprinted across the inside of our eyelids, lest we forget.
    The Guardians of a path so hard to find, that only the soles of our feet know the direction it takes.

    That's who we are

    The trail of our broken and discarded dreams show where we have passed.
    We are greeted as Heroes by strangers, strangers who would avail themselves of out particular talents.

    Then we are held up as Saviours, for maybe a week, and tales of us are sent out into the lands, because always we are known, every town finds time to cheer us and welcome us, until the job's done.
    although nothing's ever said, no-one mourns our absence when it's time to move on.

    That, is also who we are.

    A thousand Wars, and myriad deaths these hands have delivered.
    Not for glory, or honour, or any moral holding of ideas, but because, quite simply, ithat's what we do. But the toll of death weighs heavily upon us, we never kill lightly.
    But we do it with such professional excellence that none other can compete. So gather around, you're quite safe, please feel free to ask questions from the FAQ books you were issued during your trip, and our mod team will be happy to take questions by PM, relating to any matters deemed "too sensitive" to tell in polite company. (Confessional confidence is, of course expected of us)

    That's who we are.

     But never seek to use subterfuge, or attempt to deceive us, for this you will be flayed of your skin, and the red flag of your hide shall adorn our tree of skinnings, while your slick,wet body screams defiance, then pleas, then just sobs from the anthill your broken, bleeding carcasse shall laid upon.

    That's who we are. 
    ECH
    We're the Giving People. We're all about giving you more of what you want in quantities you can't possibly need. We're going to force-feed your head until you've got mental fois gras coming out your ears. We're committed to rekindling your commitment to Sparkle Motion. We do these things and more, at prices you can barely almost afford, because we KNOW in our HEARTS that too much is NEVER enough.

    Who are we?

    We're the providers. We'll tell you what you want while we give you what you need and tell you that you can trade it in as a 20% down payment on what you want. We're the Pay-It-Forward People. You'll never notice how hard we're fucking you in the ass because we've made sure that you'll be too busy buggering someone else while we're doing it. It feels good to give, doesn't it?

    Who are we?

    We're the Growing People. We've counteracted the recession with our innovative hiring practices. We know how to get more done with less, and we're making you know how as well. Spreading the message and teaching the methods, that's our way. More jobs for less wages. We're the Efficiency People. We won't need to replace you with a robot because we can replace you with 3 part-time Yous for less money.

    Who are we?
    CAINAD
    We're the Opportunity People. It's our pleasure to hook you up with a loan for that thing you desperately need. After all, we know that it can't ALL be fun and games and fifty-two-inch High Definition TVs, though we do our best. That 50 grand you need to get through college another year or two? No problem at all, friend. We know you'll be around for a long, long time, and you'll have plenty of opportunities to pay us back, whether or not you feel like buying food that month. We're so eager to share this money with you, we'll drop you the cash for a brand-spanking-new $500,000 house at a barely-noticeable down payment, hardly any questions asked!
    Who are we?


    JOH’NYX
    We're the Virtuous Crusaders, that know what's best for you and know that sacrifices need to be done if things will be as we envision them. Those 30,000 died so that we can still go to church and not feel indignant that our fellow brothers are getting high instead of being productive, so that we can stare right into our children's eyes and say "They all died to get you a better future, you should be grateful". And you will be grateful, or else.

    Who are we?

    NIGEL
    We're the Opinion People. It's our job to think, so you don't have to. We understand that the burdens of work, family, church, and making those loan payments on time are already enough without the added stress of having to come up with a position on the latest public events; that's why we're here to tell you not only what to think, but how to think it. Don't you worry; everything is going to be just fine. We have people on it. The food is perfectly safe, and the economy is just about to turn around. Studies show that working multiple part-time jobs is good for your health, and medical insurance is really just an unnecessary luxury for effete ivory-tower left-wing bleeding-heart liberals. A sixpack or two after work is a good way to relax and watching TV supports our economy. If you're worried, depressed, anxious, can't sleep, or suffer from cold sweats, poverty, headaches, impotence, or blurred vision, just mention us to your doctor by name.

    Who are we?

    HOOPLA
    We're the Starfuckers.  It's our job to pry into the deepest corners of the lives of those who choose to entertain us.  We pay them to entertain us, and they do entertain us, but they owe us.  They owe us more.  They owe us their personal details, they owe us their intimate moments, they owe us their opinions, they owe us their soul.  We know that they are both bizarre and alien to us and yet exactly like us... they snort ground hedgehogs off the foreheads of midgets while fucking petrified octopus but they also shop at Target - just! like! us!  They also wear sweatpants and consume Big Macs and drive drunk and shoot their wives - there but for the grace of Judy Garland go all of us.  We create social networks, ostensibly to keep in touch with our "friends", but really to trick the gods of Hollywood to tell us how heavy their latest bowel movement was, or how often they clean lint from their bellybuttons, they owe us at least that much.  We paid for their mansions, we paid for their Bentley, we paid for their Mexican housekeeper, we paid for their alleged privacy, we own that privacy!  We own it!  They owe us!  They owe us!  They owe the Starfuckers, because we made them and we can break them just as easily.

    Who are we?

    LMNO
    We're the horror junkies.  We track down the worst examples of humanity, and present it to you in snappy 12.5 minute segments.  We provide the tragedy you need, from aiplane disasters to floods in third world shitholes, tornadoes, earthquakes and famine.  We're the premium providers of impersonal pain.  But it doesn't stop there.  We're the Human Interest people.  We show you the burnouts, the fame whores, the poor-impule-control freakshows.  The megalomaniacal daddy issue fuckups, screaming for attention.  We scrape the pathetic bottom of those who bought into Warhol's prophecy, and parade them in front of you.  We're the ones who make you think these behaviors are "normal".  We're the ones who condition you into passive acceptance of evolutionary decline.

    Who are we?


    2011-12-22 06:19:55 LINK: Re: Who Are We?, boardID=1

  • The Good Reverend Roger

    Re: Who Are We?

    Welcome aboard, Flashlight dude.  You may have by now noticed that we're a collection of insufferable jackasses.  We kind of like it that way, and we hope you do, too.  If not, you are by now asking yourself "who are these assholes?"

    We're the rectum people.  We pound sand up rectums, with an efficiency only dreamed of by your grandfather's generation.  How CAN we maintain that kind of quality at such rock bottom prices?  Glad you asked.  We do it by using the technology of tomorrow on the innocent passers-by of today.  Our patented process guarantees that every grain of sand goes up, or triple your money back!

    You won't see our competitors offering that kind of warranty.  No, they are ankle people.  They stop at the ankle.  We, on the other hand, insist that the knee is the FIRST acceptable stopping place of the great boot o' correction, and our complaints department are the loneliest people on Earth!  After all, when you pay your hard-earned dollar for a boot up the arse, we know you want the whole ride.

    Contact our sales representatives:

    Badbeast - A complete cunt of an Englishman, who exists solely to heave bricks through the windows of Maggie Thatcher's mansion.

    Doktor Zero - A science experiment gone horribly wrong, she preys upon the webbed-toed dwellers of Southern Illinois.

    East Coast Hustle - 169% Genuine sailor man, eats spinach and pounds Bluto into pulped meat, just because he can.

    Dark Empress Nigel - She strangled Oakland.  No, that's not an obscure sports term.

    Professor Cramulus - aka "The Mad Taxidermist of Upstate New York."

    Freeky - She'll bend your fucking space time.

    Call today.  Quantities are apparently unlimited, but why wait?  Your colon deserves the finest sifted sands from the four corners of Tucson, and we pride ourselves on our delivery!

    Who are we?

    2011-12-22 07:18:58 LINK: Re: Who Are We?, boardID=1

  • LMNO

    Re: Who Are We?

    Oh, hey!  Thanks.

    : LMNO, PhD (life continues)  
    We're the upside-down people. The Chop and Scratch people. We have our ears to the ground, listening. Listening to what you're REALLY asking for. And we'll GIVE it to you. You may not have known what you were asking for, but no matter. We understand what's best. We know. Hours of research in places where the corners aren't quite right have given us... Perspective. And most importantly, Access. Never you mind how we found that "special" drawer in your closet. We like to get close with our clients. Because its the personal touch that means so much. So don't be shocked when you find that the shortness of breath that comes late at night is just our way of getting right up close. Right on top of you, you might say. Who are we?

    We're the abyss people. We've turned the corner and found the abject lack of meaning that lurks behind your deepest fears. AND WE FRENCH KISSED IT.  We embraced it with all our strength, and then wrestled it to the ground, and ate it. Swallowed the nothingness, the absence, the empty-eyed forever, with a soured, bitter grimace. Because we've reached the end of the end, where not even a beginning can burst through the unending void of the universe. Because we're the next people. The before people. Who are we?

    We're the HUNGRY people. We want what you have. Because we don't have it. But we want it. And you're. Of using it. You sit there, just giving it away for the most banal of reasons, and we're starting to think that you don't have any reasons to start with. So you won't be missing them. Because you don't care about them. But we do. Because we can use them. Use them to bring you the things you want. The things you ask for, when you stare into the horizon. Because that's what you asked for. To give up your responsibility. And we can make it useful. To make you a better person. Who are we?

    2011-12-22 07:22:22 LINK: Re: Who Are We?, boardID=1

  • Ferka Zarco

    Re: Who Are We?

    We're the honest people. Wholesome, down to earth, home-baked people individually wrapped and packaged in plastic, polystyrene and cardboard. Just like Mama used to make. We remember what Childhood™ was like, even if you don't, and we'll remind you if you let us in.

    We're the innocent people. Organic. Grassroots. We're your sort of people. We're the neighbourly people, all smiles and casual greetings over the fence. Perfect little families like they show on TV to make you feel guilty for your perversions.

    Don't worry, we deal in redemption.

    Because we're the maintenance people. Invisible like, but we're the reason that with the push of a button, you can be immediately rewarded with what it is you crave. You're the boss, see? We're just the helpful people. People serving people. We clean and grease the tubes so things can be delivered on time, any time, all the time. It never stops.

    It never stops.

    We're the relentless people. Filling your subscriptions, just calling to see if you have time to take a survey and rate our service, wanted to come by and upgrade your signal, long-distance phone service, internet.

    Who are we?



    We're the slippery people. It's hard enough to catch a glimpse of us, so just forget about our ever meeting. We're the people who decide how much to pay and how much to charge. We'll never take anything from you unless you insist on giving it to us but we're more than happy to accommodate your decision to delegate. Let us make the difficult choices and you can sit back and enjoy the consequences.

    We're the clever people. We've got all the data and we know how to make the right connections. Who you're with, where you are, what you're doing, eating, wearing, thinking but it's safe because we didn't ASK, you just started telling us. We're innovating. Extrapolating. We know what you before you do and we'll let you know in advance. We can tell you where to go, who you'll meet here. We'll alert you to your common interests, give you some ice-breakers because life shouldn't have to be so much effort.

    2011-12-22 23:18:28 LINK: Re: Who Are We?, boardID=1

  • Ferka Zarco

    Re: Who Are We?

    Who are we? is a fantastic way to respond to FACEBOOK IS CHANGING WITHOUT TELLING ME, too.

    2011-12-22 23:18:57 LINK: Re: Who Are We?, boardID=1