American war protestors: kick yourselves in the balls for thinking you could have any effect on the thugs in the White House. This clip tells you everything you need to know about Cheney.
The clip you want is from 3:17 in. For those of you who missed it:
Interviewer: Two-thirds of Americans say it [the Iraq war] is not worth fighting.
Cheney: so?
Lust, Groucho:47, 6007 YD
The Chaliceblog is currently showing a good reason not to test Discordians on the concept of whether Discordianism is a genuine religion or a parady religion: as if there is a difference.
This was the original post:
Yesterday night, I was organizing the books in our library. I put theCSO’s Discordian books in the fiction section.
He says they are theology.
If you’re not clear on what discordianism is, here’s a decent explanation.
My argument is that Discordianism strikes me as a parody of Catholicism. If “Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf” ran for president to highlight the absurdity of the American political system, then put out a book about politics, I wouldn’t put it in the politics section. So why would I put a book produced by paraody religion in “theology?”
His is that nobody died and put me in charge of deeming what’s a religion and what’s not.
To some degree, this is a stupid argument. He expressed surprise that I was so insistent that Discordianism not be treated as a valid theology and that I became so passionate about the matter. (I may relent and stick it in Philosophy.)
Part of my annoyance was that I had the Discordians confused with the Church of the Subgenius. I read up on the Subgenius Custody Case recently and while I agree with the general sentiment that the mother shouldn’t be penalized in custody matters for her religion, even if her religion is basically a parody. But I agree in the same halfhearted way that I agree with Happy Feminist that in a custody battle between a spousal abuser and a white supremacist, the white supremacist should win.
I’ll kid you not, y’all, the Cleveland Free Times’ description of these Subgenius events this woman was going to depressed the hell out of me. “Whee! Let’s take a guy named Steve and change his name to ‘Lord Jesus Christ’ and parody the ‘Passion of the Christ’ and there need to be dildos! Lots of dildoes! Why? Because Conservative Christians hate that and that inherently makes it worth doing!”
What the fuck is up with that?
It’s like how the first three minutes you spend at LandoverBaptist.com it’s hilarious, and then you realize how much time how many people have to put into that site and how much they have to hate Christians to make a site that extensive that is devoted to making fun of Christianity in the nastiest ways they can think of.
I’m sick enough of YRUU kids telling me all sorts of bitchy things about Christians that they learned from their parents. I can’t imagine the kind of hate the SubGenius woman’s son is picking up, all in the name of “humor.” Because we all know that humor is innocent and fun and NEVER has an undercurrent of nastiness beneath it. I’m not ignoring the relgious freedom aspects, I’m not advocating making these people stop. But I seriously think they need to grow up.
CC
This arrogance this post displayed naturally raised the ire of many Discordians, and for those it didn’t raise the ire of, it simply provided a prime oppurtunity for Lulz. Either way, a shitstorm erupted in the comments section of The Chaliceblog. As a direct result of said shitstorm Chalicechick posted the following remark in the Parody Relgions section of Sites In Focus:
Chalicechick Says:
January 14th, 2008 at 10:53 am
Advice to all bloggers: Don’t insult the discordians. It’s just not worth the trouble. The voice of experience.
There’s a lesson in this somewhere.
I was at a conference the other day that focused on problem gambling in kids and old folks. I was struck when the instructor laid out the definition of gambling for us:
 Gambling: The Idea of Being Able to Determine the Outcome of Random Events.
As he went on to talk about some thoroughly uninteresting material, that sentence became lodged in my noggin. And kind of brought home how really all of this is a Gamble. It seems that human kind is on this endless strive to be able to harness unpredictability. Many of our kind are so scared to death of not being able to know what is going to happen next. We place such high esteem in those we think have the ability to peer into the winds of the unknown and pull out the future occurrences. Weathermen, economists, and others of their ilk.Â
 What would happen if mankind could stop looking for what’s next? Do you think we would finally be able to come to some sort of peace? Or would the nagging notion of not knowing come back to haunt?Â
I guess maybe we’re just stuck in this never-ending crap shoot.Â
While some of you may remember that I was not totally impressed with the conclusion to John Gray’s book, Black Mass, I nevertheless found it a good and enjoyable read, which tied up the links between utopianism, religion, the Enlightenment and secular extremist movements rather well. Gray’s got a lot of perspective in his worldview, which I like. He instinctively understands both the historical context of the movements and how that applies when considered in the current context of events.
Which is why I am enjoying his book review/Comment is Free article. Gray committed the hideous crime of knocking down a few New Atheist sacred cows, and so the usual suspects have come running, howling and moaning with their usual strawmen about atheist inspired terrorism, totally ignoring the context of the argument or addressing any of the issues.
I have yet to see a commenter actually address his point about repressed religion being much like repressed sexuality, or the origins of secular liberalism being tied into the history of Christianity, and Nietzsche’s critical attacks on this. I have yet to see someone either deny that belief in such secular follies as free markets, global revolution or the global spread of democracy and progress are any less ridiculous than belief in a god, or try to claim they are in some way different.
Sure, the comments page may be filled with 300+ screaming monkeys trying to make Gray look like an idiot, but if they think they succeeded in this task, they’re only fooling themselves.
Even a committed agnostic such as myself can take pleasure in such a spectacle.
As some of you may know, one of the things the POEE (Paratheo-Anametamystikhood Of Eris Esoteric) came up with was the True and Holy Fact that every man, woman and child is a pope (“so please treat them rightâ€). Some people wonder what’s up with that. Well, I’ll tell you what that means to me.* 1. It pisses off the Catholics (not that hard, but fun anyway).2. It causes mild confusion in cabbages that can’t get their head around the idea of multiple, non-Catholic popes.3. It is a fairly precise and concise slice of what it means to be Discordian.
Perhaps I should expand/expound on that third one. To wit: The Christian Catholic Path teaches that Jesus gave unto Peter the earthly access of heaven’s kingdom (Matt.16:18-19: “And I also say to you that you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of the netherworld will not prevail against it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”).
Stemming from this tradition, the Pope has become the singular conduit of God’s will on earth, having final say on moral, ethical, and spiritual matters. Their will in such matters is not to be denied.
Well, Discordians aren’t down with that. They are typically skeptical of any dogmatic authority (or, for that matter, any authority assumed rather than requested). To a Discordian, the self is the final arbiter of moral, ethical, and spiritual behavior. It would simply not do to have some old guy in a funny hat ordering me not to have fun, “just becauseâ€. I, Myself, am the key to Heaven, and the Gate; I am the Jailor; I am the Prisoner; and I am Free.
But you see, this applies to everyone. My papal edicts do not affect you, if you so choose, because you are the Pope, as well. Of course, you all know what happens when two popes disagree: SCHISM! And in that chasm awaits the One True Goddess, Eris.
And there’s nothing better than looking into the Eris’ Crack.
*It should be pointed out that, of course, I speak for myself, the One True Pope of the First Church of Last Exit Before Toll. Other popes can damn well speak for themselves, if they so choose.
I went to my favorite pub with my buddy Chuck. We sat down and ordered our favorite adult beverages. Chuck then noticed a very familiar brown substance on the bar with a very familiar and rank odor. We asked the bartender if had noticed it, hoping he would clean it up. The Bartender looked puzzled, “I have no idea of what you two are talking about. I don’t see anything.”
In unison we remarked, “Bar-stool, Motherfucker!”
Japan has decided to beat France and the United Kingdom (both who have similar proposals) to become the first country to ban file sharers from the internet.
Oddly the agreement to do so has not come from the Japanese Government, but from Japan’s four internet service provider organizations after pressure (not surprisingly) from the record and movie industries. According to Torrent Freak, the agreement would see copyright holders tracking down file-sharers on the Internet using “special detection software†and then notifying ISPs of alleged infringers. File sharers will initially receive a warning for a first offense, then be disconnected for subsequent offenses, eventually be disconnected from the internet permanently (it wasn’t clear whether the agreement is a three strikes proposal).
The process will formally commence in April and will primarily target users of Winny, the most popular file sharing network in Japan.
(via Techcrunch)
Needless to say, I’m not impressed, and I very much doubt this “special detection software” can tell the difference between a legitimately downloaded file from a P2P network, and an illegal one. Consider for example the latest NIN’s album, available for free download. Not to mention it puts copyright holders in charge of investigating infringements. I can’t see that going wrong at all, oh no….
On a related topic, Matt Mason, the author of The Pirate’s Dilemma: How Youth Culture is Reinventing Capitalism has an interiew which you can download here (mp3).
 EggGASM is an annual Golden Apple Seed Mission. It’s simple: the object of the game is to put cool things inside of plastic eggs and hide them for people to find on Easter. This idea originally came from Pinky McFatfat, ASS.
What you put inside the eggs is really up to you. But here are some suggestions:
Moar information can be found over at the EggGASM Wiki Page, or the EggGASM thread at the Principia Discordia forums.
If you have any moar ideas, belch ’em out over at 23ae.
If you take any pictures, upload them to Flickr and tag them “egggasm“. (with three G’s!)
If you create any .docs, .pdfs, or lists of stuff to put in eggs, post it to del.icio.us with the tag “egggasm“, so it shows up on the OMGASM Mission Feed.
Hello. Rev. What’s-His-Name here. I want to propose an excercise for you to do over the coming weekend. (Or if you are reading this at some later time, do this whenever it seems to be a good time)
 Remember when you were a kid, and you pulled out all of your Mom’s pots and pans and pretended to be Alex Van Halen, or some other rock and roll drummer? Do you remember how much fun that was, making all that racket? I would like for you to relive that childhood pleasure. Go home, find some common everyday objects, and make music. If your significant other objects to you using the cookware, use a couple of tupperware tubs. Just look around, experiment, discover the different timbres and sounds you can get from different objects. If you have kids, have them join your jam band. (Don’t actually use Jam, that would be messy)
If you feel like it, report back here, and post your results. Tell me how it felt. If you’re really ambitious and have the hardware, record it and post it. Then, share this excercise with some friends and family. Have fun!
So according to a recent study…
1 in 4 women have the human papilloma virus, or HPV. As a dude, this is very troubling. How can I keep myself protected from this epidemic? If I catch HPV, does that make me a girl? If you’re as terrified as I am, you will be relieved that I have published this extremely brief and failproof guide.
Whenever four women are next to each other, the one with HPV is the second one from the left. This is completely reliable and always accurate. Don’t believe me? Confirm the evidence, below:
OBVIOUSLY.
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Yeah, you can tell she’s been around the viral block.
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Not only does she have HPV, she loves HPV.
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You can tell by the crossed legs. And her position in the line, of course.
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Not even these Elven children are safe. Elves age differnetly than humans, of course. Believe it or not, these are 19-year old co-ed nymphomaniacs.
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Obvious HPV is Obvious.
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Did you know you can get STDs from the 1980s?
If you said yes, you’re wrong.
But you can get STDs from hair metal so USE PROTECTION.
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Well, that about wraps up this week’s Field Guide to Jesus.  Next time, be more careful and we won’t need to have these talks.
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Good night, and good thrusting.
