FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST

[Cainad (dec.)]

I feel fine at the moment, just wondering when the Nuclear Assplosion is gonna actually happen. I have some pretty impressive ironguts, but I certainly don't expect them to handle this without something weird going on.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

There will be bloating, soon, unless you get the runs.

[Requia ☣]

Alright, I just finished orange number twelve (LASTER YEAR'S RECORD: ACHIEVED!) and I STILL haven't shat.


I'ma go sit on the can for a bit and "squeeze", because this is mildly concerning to me.

12 navels or 12 valencias?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Alright, I just finished orange number twelve (LASTER YEAR'S RECORD: ACHIEVED!) and I STILL haven't shat.


I'ma go sit on the can for a bit and "squeeze", because this is mildly concerning to me.

12 navels or 12 valencias?

As far as I know, you are the only person eating Valencias.

[Suu]

I feel fine at the moment, just wondering when the Nuclear Assplosion is gonna actually happen. I have some pretty impressive ironguts, but I certainly don't expect them to handle this without something weird going on.

It's coming. Trust me.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I like oranges too much to ruin them for myself this way but if you guys ever do a blueberry or cherry eating contest, let me know. I'd sacrifice those fruits on the altar of self-destructive retardation.

[Freeky]

BLUEBERRIES?  CHERRIES?  WHERE IS THE STUPID IN THAT?  I ASK YOU.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

BLUEBERRIES?  CHERRIES?  WHERE IS THE STUPID IN THAT?  I ASK YOU.

Ah, well. On the plus side if you eat lots of cherries and puke, you'll look like you're hurking blood. And then with blueberries, there's always the purple poo that's good for a laugh.

[Eater of Clowns]

BLUEBERRIES?  CHERRIES?  WHERE IS THE STUPID IN THAT?  I ASK YOU.

The stupid is that blueberries are like $5 a pint.

[Requia ☣]

Alright, I just finished orange number twelve (LASTER YEAR'S RECORD: ACHIEVED!) and I STILL haven't shat.


I'ma go sit on the can for a bit and "squeeze", because this is mildly concerning to me.

12 navels or 12 valencias?

As far as I know, you are the only person eating Valencias.

Hmm, I need to catch up then, I'm only at 16 Vs.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

BLUEBERRIES?  CHERRIES?  WHERE IS THE STUPID IN THAT?  I ASK YOU.

The stupid is that blueberries are like $5 a pint.

Is it cheating if you just go outside and pick them instead of buying them?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

ANNNND NINE.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Alright, I just finished orange number twelve (LASTER YEAR'S RECORD: ACHIEVED!) and I STILL haven't shat.


I'ma go sit on the can for a bit and "squeeze", because this is mildly concerning to me.

12 navels or 12 valencias?

As far as I know, you are the only person eating Valencias.

Hmm, I need to catch up then, I'm only at 16 Vs.

  I don't think we should even allow them next year... they just don't have the fuck-you-upness of Navels. Not enough pulp.

[Requia ☣]

Should do it earlier in the year then, my biggest motivators on Valencias is that they're a third the price of navels here and now.

[Phox]

I dunno. I kinda like Macbething it. Y'know "Lay on Macduff! And damned be he who first cries 'Hold! Enough!'"

"Soooo...Whatever happened to the Discordians?"

This is why I'm not eating oranges.