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Messages - Q. G. Pennyworth

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 ... 353
1
Apple Talk / Re: Introductions, Part VI: Welcome to Our PD Party
« on: October 17, 2020, 09:42:48 pm »
Hey new people! Welcome to the Strange Times

2
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: October 17, 2020, 08:28:24 pm »
The Shits are a potential symptom. Get Thine Brain Swabbed.

3
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: October 06, 2020, 09:19:47 pm »
hey y'all. Roommate recently moved out of our one bedroom apartment, which means I get the bedroom as opposed to the living room. Problem is, the property manager literally did not read the 30 day notice my roommate left which read that I would be remaining in the apartment, listed me as a former tenant and nearly fucked up my ability to pay rent. My sister who works as a social worker was able to scare them into accepting my rent payment, but they've also decided that they now need to verify my income to see if i can afford rent, even as I've already afforded rent. I normally make about 2400/month, but they want someone who makes 3x the rent, which is a whopping 3228/month. I dunno what they intend to do if I cant make that, since I'm fairly certain an eviction ban is currently in effect in my area, but with this gang of dick trippers, anything is possible.

adding to this shit salad is the fact that my boss is cutting back my hours due to the fact that me and my coworker have made and dipped so many candles that we have more than we can sell in the foreseeable future. SIGH.

Get your state attorney general on the line, you have rights as an existing tenant and they are trying to fuck you.

4
Literate Chaotic / Re: My Landlord Has Illegal Chickens
« on: October 06, 2020, 08:29:34 pm »
From the title of this thread I thought that your landlord literally had illegal chickens for a second and my immediate thought was how to extort them for free rent.

He literally does. They're banned by city ordinance.

5
Literate Chaotic / My Landlord Has Illegal Chickens
« on: October 03, 2020, 02:36:41 am »
The chickens don't know they're illegal
The dandelions just want to grow
The tree roots never read the ADA
No worms know the property lines

The squirrels cannot tell you their history
The pigeons don't know they're sick
The bears have no word for National Park
And moose honor no highway signs

Mosquitos can't tell you about malaria
The penguins aren't aware they're gay
Bald eagles never heard of America
Jellies don't know they're not fish

Whales don't sing of letters of writ
Corpse flowers don't know they stink
Polar bears don't know what oil is
The moths only think of the light

Mushrooms don't know about fairy tales
The raccoons don't understand trash
The chickens don't know they're illegal
The weeds just want to live

6
Aneristic Illusions / Re: So about these riots...
« on: September 28, 2020, 08:29:48 pm »
Went to two events (Friday night and Saturday) this past weekend. People are pissed but not exactly enthusiastic about getting teargassed again. Cops kinda wanted to start a riot but didn't fully commit, and the marshals did a good job of helping protesters be the grown ups in the room.

7
Apple Talk / 2020 got RBG
« on: September 19, 2020, 01:00:37 am »
Drop them f-bombs here

8
not super on topic, but if you are a third party person and you AREN'T fighting your ass off for Ranked Choice Voting you're less useful than shit scraped off a shoe. It's on the ballot in Massachusetts this year, don't fuck this up.

9
Apple Talk / Definition of a Sandwich
« on: August 25, 2020, 12:55:17 am »
Definition of a Sandwich, Part 1

A sandwich is not
Two people on either side
Under the covers
In a dark room
With your body between
And your brain quiet
Because the caveman running your limbic system
Is finally at peace
Knowing that if a bear shows up
It will have to eat someone else
Before you

10
Apple Talk / Re: From the room
« on: August 13, 2020, 01:12:57 pm »
#2

What's in [REDACTED]'s bag, is it teeth?
I don't think that's quite all now
What's in [REDACTED]'s bag, is it teeth?
We need to sort this out now

Open up the bag, what's inside...
it's a thing she'd call a sandwich
it's just stacked lettuce leaves, and we can see,
that claim is just outlandish.

You know we got a mystery to solve,
there's bound to be more in this bag.
tip it out!

and what the hell how big's this bag
is that a nazi skull that just fell out?
there's no doubt!

What's in [REDACTED]'s bag, it's a lot.
It's where she hides her victims.
And now that we all know, we are screwed,
she'll kill to keep her secrets


(From one of the regular poetry night participants, dunno what he would prefer for credits on the interbutts but I do have permission for the repost here)

The recent maneater one I posted in Literate Chaotic is from this set, too

11
Apple Talk / Re: From the room
« on: August 10, 2020, 02:19:42 pm »
I appreciate it everyone. It's not like I'm not doxxed to hell already or anything, real names just make me uncomfortable.

12
Apple Talk / Re: From the room
« on: August 09, 2020, 03:27:33 am »
Mind replacing the name with QGP or [redacted]?

13
Literate Chaotic / What's In The Bag?
« on: August 09, 2020, 03:26:34 am »
Her bag is full of broken things
That broken boys have left behind
Bits of bones and breathless moans
Best not to pay them any mind

She carries with her trophies grim
Shards of love notes, tears and screams
Bloodstains and last trains
And the smell of strangers' rooms

A hundred and one fermented hearts
Hands that wandered, eyes that stared
their lost shirts and old hurts
Cataloged and tucked away

She does not need these broken things
But still she keeps collecting
Her knives are sharp and her dance card full
Because boys are weak
And the flesh is willing

14
Literate Chaotic / Time Travel Bridge
« on: August 09, 2020, 03:26:02 am »
How do you pack for the end of the Universe?
Turns out, it's pretty much the same as any other trip
She grabs a bottle of water, some granola bars
A few extra bandanas in case there is teargas
Or the mask she is wearing soaks through
Oh, god, how is she going to explain the masks?
She takes a rock, oblong and gray and worn down at a strange angle
Pock marked and paint stained from its time on the street
On the spot where she stood
And marched between the battle lines
And helped everyone live to fight another day
Ascendant and terrified and out of her mind
A good rock
A rock her past self will know
A rock her past self might have in her bag, too
Earbuds for her phone, still sitting on its' charger
The damn thing can't hold up as long as it used to
Wearing down like the rest of the Universe
Winding up to a finale no one can really articulate
But everyone feels coming
It's okay for the Universe to end in August, really
She grabs her back of good luck
Ganesha and a pentacle, sacrificial keychain knife and rosewood rosary
And the tokens of her beloved dead.
She is wearing sensible shoes
She is wearing shorts under her skirt
She has extra socks but no umbrella
If this works there will be rain
And she wants to be soaked through
He told her god was in the rain and she went looking
But all she found was a stubborn cough
And concerned bystanders hoping she wasn't on the roof to jump
And she looks at the other things
Because there is more than one way to end the Universe
She packs comfort in the form of folded paper
Giftwrapped resilience and stubborn, honest hope
A first aid kit and gloves because you never know
A key that goes to nowhere
And a key to get back home
She checks the time
And the other time
Kisses her husband as he sleeps
And goes out to the bridge that breaks reality

15
Literate Chaotic / Still Love You, Buddy
« on: August 09, 2020, 03:25:12 am »
I am wearing white and I am a widow with the smallest of "w"s
My grief lower case, beneath the bar, lesser than
I am walking the river side and singing my sadness
To the egrets and herons and the bakery vans across the way

I am wearing white and my smallest of "w"s is as invisible
As the infinite heart I am shoving back in the closet
Painted over with lipstick, brushed out of my hair
Buttoned under shirts that say "attractive librarian" but not "sexy"

I am wearing white and the smallest of "w"s is screaming
Into the infinite ocean that the Atlantic can only dream of
Because the world does not stop for grief but I am still here
Not ready to walk alone or hold my own umbrella

I am wearing white and my smallest of "w"s is healing
But some wounds don't leave scars, they leave piercings
Holes that don't weep and but never close back over
My heart is cracked open and I can feel everything

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